Perinatal Services BC - Biology of Loss: Recognizing Impaired Attachments & Fostering Resilience
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- Опубліковано 18 кві 2016
- Presenting at the March 2016 Perinatal Services BC Healthy Mothers & Healthy Babies conference, renowned speaker and author Dr.Gabor Maté illuminates the sources of developmental challenges, childhood and adult mental disorders, and physical health issues as originating in the prenatal, perinatal, and early childhood periods. Based on Dr. Maté’s bestselling books and on current neuroscientific and developmental research, the presentation focuses on how we can prevent maldevelopment through attuned parenting and restore and foster resilience in children already facing developmental challenges.
This man speaks to the human heart directly!! His way of being and speaking, heals the person listening to him! A true gift to all of us!
I have no idea what 12.33
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I listen to his talks every night, for as long as possible, until I fall asleep 😊
He is learning me more about myself in each sentence than psychotherapists have in years of therapy.
He’s one of the real ones
Agree
Yep
It makes so much sense. I like the way he explains.
The truth
Paul Pierce second 😉
It is shocking how this video is coming to confirm what my "illiterate" mother and grandmother have always told me close to 50 years ago, that the mother's stress has negative effects on the child during pregnancy and in early childhood.
Gabor Mate has profoundly changed my life. His compassionate genius transcends medicine.
Wonderful speech and I agree with all of this, as a Retired Nurse and as a Buddhist who has studied Healing touch, etc., in nursing and metaphysics. I love this talk. I do wish we had Health Care in the USA as good as in Canada. Women in the USA have much stress. My other wish is that all countries can love and respect the teachings of Indigenous people and learn from them, instead of testing animals by putting them under stress or pain. We could have had so much! I see the connection to suicide very clearly, too. Sharing this to help everyone.
Thank you ❤
🙏💖
Dorothy Simone I have bitten my nails since a very young child. Would you or anyone know how I can address this to stop. What would u recommend. Thank you. X
@@janeyd5280 Hope you find the answer. I'm over 70 years old and I just tried acupuncture for the first time. Maybe that could help? It uses energy centers. You could ask.
@@halvardlund4782 Am only thinking that Buddhism teaches long term cause and effect, so it helps me understand medical situations more clearly.
OMG there is no end to Gabor Mate's brilliance. Every topic I have seen him lecture about, on youtube that is, every word Gabor has spoken confirms and validates my experiences in hospital settings with my differently abled son from birth and my husband's illnesses as they were treated in hospital care. I am grateful that Gabor has the courage to speak about the taboo issues and their connections to our lifestyles. Change seems to take too long. Hopefully, Gabor's candid lectures will speed change in specific areas of life in hospitals and all areas of life in general. The importance of Gabor's courage and diligence in getting positive messages out regarding the development of human psychology and how it relates to health, this information dissemination is dependent upon the courage of the people who work in hospitals. They have a significant role to play in the development of humankind.
👍👍👍 LOVE him, his approach and his empathy to all ill patients.
Completely agree.... he is light and love who admits his flaws and works for all of ours.
Look for his documentary, "The Wisdom of Trauma".👍
I hope Matéism becomes an expression in the future
@@kuibeiguahua Revolution
My mother told me that I had to be induced at labor, she makes a joke that i was comfortable and warm and did't want to come out. This bothered me when she said it. It bothers me now. Today, my theory and great belief is that I was already traumatized by my parents troubled marriage; i'm certain as i have acute hearing and hypervigilant to sounds and smells. I am sensitive and eventually labelled emotional a label given to distract everyone from the truth. Thank you for the talk.
Makayla, research autism, I'm 72 and recently diagnosed autistic spectrum condition (high functioning) I'm sad my daughter 51 was diagnosed schizophrenic 30yrs ago I now believe she too is on the spectrum. Too late for her she has been swamped with psychiatrict drugs and past 10yrs alcoholic.
Learn all you can. Do what you can do within your limitations. Prayer help lead us on this very changing, unpredictable path. Seek love and moments of joy. And, find ways to know and transform your pain. There is a collective suffering we all share. Knowing your story feels like a connection. We are all connected.
How I would love to meet this guy, at least hear him talk live while it is still possible. His information and commentary are so relevant, so nutritive to present day society.
Oh me too Steve, I'm from Australia and would absolutely love to be in a room where the magnificent Gabor is talking
Me too guys... Unfortunately, I don't think he's ever coming to Greece...
why/ it is not about him, it is about you.
"I was a workaholic father. My children felt it was their fault. Multi-generational trauma" Jesus..that hit home.
This is the real deal.....spread the words....in humble firmness
Love the phrase "humble firmness"! Describes Dr. Mate very well, and how he wants us to propagate the message. Thx.
The sciences of Ayurveda and Yoga would fully concur with you! Thank goodness that someone who sees with true perception and intelligence is becoming well-known and respected!
💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
im so glad mate always speaks for the First Nations
Can you just imagine how much fear and insecurities Palestinian babies must feel with all the trauma they and their parents and grandparents have and have had to endure for over 70 years now? ;(
Its a tragedy how they are treated ,
I was thinking along those lines as well, about the children in Syria, Yemen, Afghanistan, Liberia, Iraq, etc. where we-US and ‘allies’-are bombing. I pray for them....and for us😭😭😭😭
It's tragic.
People must find a way to spend less time in the workplace and more time with the family. ‘“The machine” doesn’t want that to happen because that breeds autonomy. The overall health, mental, physical, spiritual, is sacrificed to the bottom line. Living below ones means and eating and drinking clean nutrients is almost a dream.
Gabor, I am SUCH a fan. But as a doctorate in mind-body psych, I will say, I completed my degree (and published well in 2000), and the head of the APA retired depressed b/c as he said (in 2000), "Fifty years of rigorous, empirical mind-body research has yielded zero impact on the health care delivery system." So....yeah. Fifty years PLUS. Makes me feel downright indigenous, my gifts to the culture are so un-tapped. THANK you for using your fame to advance the care for our future young...
1:07 “ don’t worry about whether or not you screwed up your kid...you did so don’t worry about it.” So freeing.... helps me listen to the solution. 🙏🏼
I believe I've lived a near death experience most of my life because of the extreme torture and abuse I suffered since my birth through the first seventeen years of my life which included multiple familial abusers and multiple incest pregnancies starting at an earlier age than society says is normal. I've never been medicated because of this or hospitalized. I've experienced spiritual support through out of body experiences.
❤️
Thank you for sharing. My trauma was behind my own spiritual awakening, so I can completely relate. It is a gift.
GENIUS! I feel so thankful that this channel uploaded this video because it meets my need for reassurance that people are going to have to wake up sooner than later.
"People whose integrity has not been damaged in childhood, who were protected, respected, and treated with honesty by their parents, will be-both in their youth and in adulthood-intelligent, responsive, empathic, and highly sensitive. They will take pleasure in life and will not feel any need to kill or even hurt others or themselves. They will use their power to defend themselves, not to attack others. They will not be able to do otherwise than respect and protect those weaker than themselves, including their children, because this is what they have learned from their own experience.
We are still barely conscious of how harmful it is to treat children in a degrading manner. Treating them with respect and recognizing the consequences of their being humiliated are by no means intellectual matters; otherwise, their importance would long since have been generally recognized.
Society chooses to disregard the mistreatment of children, judging it to be altogether normal because it is so commonplace.
The more we idealize the past and refuse to acknowledge our childhood sufferings, the more we pass them on unconsciously to the next generation. The truth about our childhood is stored up in our body, and although we can repress it, we can never alter it. Our intellect can be deceived, our feelings manipulated, and conceptions confused, and our body tricked with medication. But someday our body will present its bill, for it is as incorruptible as a child, who, still whole in spirit, will accept no compromises or excuses, and it will not stop tormenting us until we stop evading the truth.
The art of not experiencing feelings. A child can experience her feelings only when there is somebody there who accepts her fully, understands her, and supports her. If that person is missing, if the child must risk losing the mother’s love of her substitute in order to feel, then she will repress emotions.
Every life and every childhood is filled with frustrations; we cannot imagine it otherwise, for even the best mother cannot satisfy all her child’s wishes and needs. It is not the suffering caused by frustration, however, that leads to emotional illness, but rather the fact that the child is forbidden by the parents to experience and articulate this suffering, the pain felt at being wounded.
We don’t yet know, above all, what the world might be like if children were to grow up without being subjected to humiliation, if parents would respect them and take them seriously as people.
The reason why parents mistreat their children has less to do with character and temperament than with the fact that they were mistreated themselves and were not permitted to defend themselves.
The claim that mild punishments (slaps or smacks) have no detrimental effect is still widespread because we got this message very early from our parents who had taken it over from their own parents. Unfortunately, the main damage it causes is precisely the broad dissemination of this conviction. The result of which is that each successive generation is subjected to the tragic effects of so called physical “correction.”
The knowledge that you were beaten and that this, as your parents tell you, was for your own good may well be retained (although not always), but the suffering caused by the way you were mistreated will remain unconscious and will later prevent you from empathizing with others. This is why battered children grow up to be mothers and fathers who beat their offspring.
Many people suffer all their lives from this oppressive feeling of guilt, the sense of not having lived up to their parents’ expectations. This feeling is stronger than any intellectual insight they might have, that it is not a child’s task or duty to satisfy his parents needs. No argument can overcome these guilt feelings, for they have their beginnings in life’s earliest periods, and from that they derive their intensity and obduracy.
The abused children are alone with their suffering, not only within the family, but also within themselves. They cannot crate a place in their own soul where they could cry their heart out.
The abused child goes on living within those who have survived such torture, a torture that ended with total repression. They live with the darkness of fear, oppression, and threats. When all its attempts to move the adult to heed its story have failed, it resorts to the language of symptoms to make itself heard. Enter addiction, psychosis, criminality.
Till now, society has protected the adult and blamed the victim. It has been abetted in its blindness by theories, still in keeping with the pedagogical principles of our great- grandparents, according to which children are viewed as crafty creatures, dominated by wicked drives, who invent stories and attack their innocent parents or desire them sexually. In reality, children tend to blame themselves for their parents’ cruelty and to absolve the parents, whom they invariably love, of all responsibility.
It is not true that evil, destructiveness , and perversion inevitably form part of human existence, no matter how often this is maintained. But it is true that we are daily producing more evil and, with it, an ocean of suffering for millions that is absolutely avoidable. When one day the ignorance arising from childhood repression is eliminated and humanity has awakened, an end can be put to this production of evil.
It is very difficult for people to believe the simple fact that every persecutor was once a victim. Yet it should be very obvious that someone who was allowed to feel free and strong from childhood does not have the need to humiliate another person.
Those children who are beaten will in turn give beatings, those who are intimidated will be intimidating, those who are humiliated will impose humiliation, and those whose souls are murdered will murder.
Without realizing that the past is constantly determining their present actions, they avoid learning anything about their history. They continue to live in their repressed childhood situation, ignoring the fact that is no longer exists, continuing to fear and avoid dangers that, although once real, have not been real for a long time.
Sadism is not an infectious disease that strikes a person all of a sudden. It has a long prehistory in childhood and always originates in the desperate fantasies of a child who is searching for a way out of a hopeless situation.
Hitler, Stalin, Mao and other dictators were exposed to severe physical mistreatment in childhood and refused to face up to the fact later. Instead of seeing and feeling what had happened to them, they avenged themselves vicariously by killing millions of people. And millions of others helped them to do so." ~ Alice Miller
"Why should society feel responsible only for the education of children, and not for the education of all adults of every age?
Many psychiatrists and psychologists refuse to entertain the idea that society as a whole may be lacking in sanity. They hold that the problem of mental health in a society is only that of the number of 'unadjusted' individuals, and not of a possible un-adjustment of the culture itself.
The fact that millions of people share the same vices does not make these vices virtues, the fact that they share so many errors does not make the errors to be truths, and the fact that millions of people share the same form of mental pathology does not make these people sane.
A society whose principles are acquisition, profit, and property produces a social character oriented around having, and once the dominant pattern is established, nobody wants to be an outsider, or indeed an outcast; in order to avoid this risk everybody adapts to the majority, who have in common only their mutual antagonism.
The deepest need of the human being is to overcome our separateness, to leave the prison of our loneliness. The person who gives up his individual self and becomes an automaton, identical with millions of other automatons around him, need not feel alone and anxious any more. But the price he pays, however, is high; it is the loss of his self.
Alienation as we find it in modern society is almost total… Man has created a world of man-made things as it never existed before. He has constructed a complicated social machine to administer the technical machine he built. The more powerful and gigantic the forces are which he unleashes, the more powerless he feels himself as a human being. He is owned by his creations, and has lost ownership of himself." ~ Erich Fromm
I cannot stress enough the importance of what Dr. Maté is doing. Thank you.
Completely Genius!!!♥️ I’m so Thankful that someone has brought this to public awareness.
Hi, Cindy Moore. My name is Cindy too and I agree with you wholeheartedly! I listen to Gabor regularly on UA-cam and I feel I am actually understanding it a little better each time.
CynthiaSchoenbauer He’s very good. I agree with this Teaching too. My question is how do we put it into our lives.
That is a very good question! I am working on the principles that are involved in making these changes. I realize that I have been in CPTSD, in-other-words the trauma he is talking about left over from childhood and I am actually making some progress. When I get a little farther along I would be happy to share my secrets. I have my favorite people on UA-cam too, like Thrive After Abuse with Dana Morningstar. It is so nice to meet another true-blue fan, Cindy Moore.
CynthiaSchoenbauer Yes please do. Thank you!
Alcohol and drugs are the bandaids applied to wounds that if left uncovered would destroy them.
Please clarify .....
nicely put
if iIT could be summed up in a pretty little package... I'd slap a bow on this! you worded it perfectly!
nicely put
if iIT could be summed up in a pretty little package... I'd slap a bow on this! you worded it perfectly!
I'm saying this to the bandaid comment- keep it simple
Brilliant
Finally a doctor who makes sense.
Young people are looking to Facebook, Instagram etc for likes and "friends" for their attachment needs ☹️
Truly excellent presentation regarding all that we know about trauma and healing that still somehow manages to be almost completely ignored within the realm of modern medicine. Dr. Mate's work is so very enlightening, especially if one is willing to open to one's own vulnerability and to accept the clear reality that in one way or another, either personally or societally, we are ALL impacted by trauma, by intergenerational trauma and by increasing levels of stress. How we support ourselves and each other is key to both our individual and collective health and healing. Thanks for sharing this presentation.
Amen! I"ve been trying to re-parent myself (and my grown children). I want him on my side, with his kind, nurturing, validating, and loving/keep-trying attitude. May God bless him more and more, even if government institutions, main-stream medicine and other highly-politicized groups are slow to do so.
4:32 decease and early life experience - physical, emotional, spiritual, psychic health, early aquired disfunction.
6:55 Emotional life, relationship with other people and myself, on set of decease, idiopathic (don´t know cause). separation body, mind and environment.
8:10 - bio/psycho/social perspective..
19:17 The capacity to "tune out" - a coping mechanism.
38:35 Multigenerational trauma
I am so obsessed with Dr. Gabor Mate. He is an absolute genius. His ideas are correct and so precise. I have seen so many of his lectures on UA-cam, it is now time to read his books. xoxoxo Soriah
No books simply compassion for the one heart we all are 💖🙏💖
Ooo
@@pixieplay00 lkklkl
Not just first nation people... the black community enduring huge psychological trauma. Generationally. That would be a great study...especially with compounding factors such as systemic racism and consequently perceived self value.
So very true. It's astonishing to me just how consistently the African American community--as it pertains to the history and bio-psychi-social ravages and multi-generational impact of slavery and racism--is almost always conspicuously omitted from this equation. And, is rarely discussed, in this context, with the same degree of awareness, insight, and compassion, etc..
yes rohan and add to that 400 years of epigenetics.....grandfather richard
So I realize I’m super late to the discussion but has anyone found anywhere that the black community has been discussed by Gabor in these terms? For sure I am able to extrapolate much from his talks that I can apply but is there a lecture where he might discuss the black community specifically?
@@Luvz2Surf I've first heard about intergenerational trauma from African American Studies scholars, so it's definitely out there. This guy's Canadian and their government is insanely hypocritical re: treatment of native populations, so I think he makes a point of mentioning that in particular (but in other talks he does quote African Americans and Canadians). In
@@Luvz2Surf that being said, absolutely, this stuff needs to be mainstream knowledge, not just scholarly articles (BLM has been doing a wonderful job in this regard). The machine of systemic oppression has been hiding in plain sight for enough time
Should be required for Drs to watch this. Realize common sense isn't taught in medical school or anywhere, but a person is a whole person, and their life contributes to that whole person. Have a Dr addressing trauma through bodywork and it is amazing.
I am so so thankful for this beautiful person...I can't stop watching his videos here...he is helping me so much I can't tell you...♥♥♥
Dr. Maté is a legend in his own right. Internalize his spoken knowledge and wisdom not just listen to it.
Beatifull to see a Dr that inspired by Jiddu krishnamurti able to look at him self critically and objectively gets close to the essence. Sooner or later we have to deal with our past as little kids. That is we want to grow, compassionate and vulnerable. Then we could become the best parent and stop the bullshit in us that can be generations old. Unfortunately the majority of people stay ignorant and this dance wil go on forever. Choise is yours.
The most obvious policy change that needs to happen regards maternity/paternity leave. Europe has understood this connection at the policy level, giving in some cases years of paid leave to new parents.
Absolutely astonishing that America doesn't have it. And also has some of the lowest level of paid holiday time in the western world too.
It is true, maternity/paternity leaves are luxurious in Europe comparing to US. But don't worry we all have war trauma here :D
I think this his best speech yet… I am 46 and don’t have children…. but I feel him soooooo much.
Thank you for speaking against evidence-based medicine. I have also noticed how negative the results can be. It causes medical group-think to be rationalized, and suppresses the urge to deal with the individual patient.
He is using evidence…it’s just ignored evidence
You have changed my life sir. I will be paying it forward for the rest of my life
Re caesarians: I understand that vaginal delivery also ensures child gets a healthy dose of mother's gut bacteria which are essential for lifelong health.
I'm wondering that remedying this naturally might be readily possible but for being in a hygiene obsessed era in general as well as modern culture not promoting devoted time with the new baby.
I watched my dog nurse her pups post c-section and she blew my mind with her total care and devotion. She fed them immediately whilst yet having a long scar down her tummy and so drugged up she could barely stand or stay awake. If she needed to go to the toilet she would go and be back in a flash to be with her babies. People want a pup at 6 or 8 weeks? She naturally fed hers, who were just about able to eat solids from 4 weeks, until they were 10 weeks of age. And she cleaned them and loved them and demonstrated a most beautiful natural patience. Pups should be with their mum as long as she can feed and care for them.
I have a deep sadness with what may have led to the C-Section being necessary to add, for i was hosting 3 students then who on the second day made a huge issue over my having a dog when she was just 3 weeks pregnant (equivalent to end of 1st trimester in humans). Their religious background (although they demonstrated no evidence of having faith themselves) meant that they had inherited a regard for dogs as "unclean" and created a drama with the organisers of the trip. It was an evening of teacher and organiser and students arguing in French in my house and my dog went into a marked depression for a few days following this. I am sure this was when a pup died inside her ( - for there was an undeveloped pup came out at the c-section) and the last pup to come out didn't make it too. I knew something had happened to her with those hostile visitors. I remember there were a couple of days she seems exhausted and didn't want to come out of her bed and i actually said to a friend at that time that i hoped she had not had a miscarriage. Then i left it. Another 6 weeks and she needed a C-Section. She's such a beautiful girl and was an awesome mum and all the pups are now very healthy young dogs. I love my dog as much as one can possibly love, to the moon and back and beyond and all the way home. And she's sat next to me now and going to give her my attention now.
Marylee Macpherson and MD convenience...
I have read of a female ob/gyn who, when the mother has her baby by C-section, takes a sterile sponge, collects vaginal secretions from the mother and then smears them onto the baby, primarily on the face (as that is where the "good stuff" is transferred to the baby, through the "open" areas - nose, eyes, mouth). Unfortunately I don't remember her name but her instincts are responsible for giving C-section babies the blessings of nature's gift of their mother's gut biome.
@@uyouhaveyou Great comment, mate. Lucky animals to have you.
@@jennytaylor3324 I didn't hold back there much did i, and it wasn't really quite on topic ;'D. Bless you, thanks!
Continuing to love and learn from my dear girls here - i have mum and kept one girl, beautiful terriers who love to explore the world in ways most terriers love to do. Is me feels so lucky to have them in my world. :)
We ALL need to be free to ask others, What's going on? I need to be able to ask you for the support that I need!!!! Then set a boundary until we receive it.
Communication and conflict management need to be taught in elementary and high school.
First saw Dr. Mate in Zeitgeist moving forward documentary back in 2013 I think. I remember this, he was instantly able to trigger my brain electrical signals very effectively and in such a powerful thus adaptable way. Found him again on YTube 'accidentally" immediately remembered him and by only listening to his awesome deepest speeches, helped me out by showing me the way dots can be connected activating in me the ability to understand their sense in my Life.
Thank U Gabor!
He's a gift.
There is no doubt about that, June! He has helped me so much with the guidance to know where I am going and what I can believe in.
Enlightened being...Open hearted and A Truth Seeker... The WOUNDED HEALER☆☆☆♡ ◇◇◇
People must find a way to spend less time in the workplace and more time with the family. ‘“The machine” doesn’t want that to happen because that breeds autonomy. The overall health, mental, physical, spiritual, is sacrificed to the bottom line. Living below ones means and eating and drinking clean nutrients is almost a dream.
Well said. I want this in my life so much
This most excellent presentation has the capacity to be life
altering if people are
HUMBLE enough to
acknowledge their own
ignorance, inadequacies, and prejudice. A brilliant presentation.
His titles don't matter. It's WHY he is doing what he is doing. There is no life in that "title talk" talk about how you feel when you read what he writes, how do you feel when you hear him talk? Why does it resonnate with you? He meets people's need for honesty that's WHY. The Toxic Culture is going to be a great book right there with "Confessions of An Economic Hitman" "Sex At Dawn" and "The Science and Philosophy of BodyTalk"
Nathan Navarrete I Completely Agree with You!!!
your right he meets people;s need for honesty . That seems to be a very rare quality in life today hard to find . I am thankful that this is on youtube.
"There's a whole shi-- ... a whole range of evidence that's being ignored..." ~ I burst into laughter. Beautiful! Not four minutes in, and he's busting the paradigm. I love how he goes off-camera for a while. ~ I've been searching and *searching* tonight for articles, research, interviews (etc.) about the effects of premature birth on the person who was born premature...There's very little. I was born two months early in the late 1950s, and there are both *astounding* strengths to survive, and devastating injury, coexisting in persons born before their natural time. I've watched Dr. Maté's Wisdom of Trauma, and all I can say is...What a gift he is. Now my search lands me here. Settling in to receive. So grateful. Hopeful like I've not felt in a long, long time. (Medically retired somatic therapist who is smitten with the wisdom and heart of this most genuine healer.) ~ Thank you so much for offering this!
We truly live in a blessed era to have access to so much wisdom from anywhere or any time, really. Even though there have been catastrophic information spread through this new networking technology we call the internet, I think the GOOD can wine
This makes me feel proud and happy that I insisted on a home birth among other childrearing choices that people called crazy or obsessive at the time.
The fact that LISTENING is not something we do enough of and your comment here about that, inspired me to comment here: I have studied and practiced Vedic Chanting for 20 years. I have also done some teaching of this practice, along with my 40 years + practicing and teaching Yoga. I observed that my students can tune in and listen much better after doing some Vedic Chant practice where they have to listen and repeat sounds that are (to them) pure sound. I wonder if you think this practice of listening would be useful therapeutically for overcoming things like ADHD?
Confirming relational importance clearly. Thank you
I love this man, I wish him and his family the best.
I hereby nominate you sir, for the Nobel price in medicine AND economics.
Don't mud his work with that two-faced organization
@@tonidjakic why two faced? Please explain.
I can also listen to Gabor Mate for 3 days. It was a WOW moment when he spoke about the toxic culture most of us are 'trapped' in... Amazing work, thank you.
It is of no great measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.
So said Jiddu Krishnamurti
@@morningtrees2090 Reading, that. Immediately I put that as 'thus spake Jiddu Krishnamurti', as in 'thus spake Zarathustra', by Neitsche. Then had me wondering was his whole obsession with 'die uber mensch' (nearly, completely self sufficient/dependant/capable man), after a fashion on similar lines. Apparantly he lived after that manner, to avoid being in a weak? (sickening?) society.
@@parrotshootist3004 Or he had to live like that in order to avoid being seen as weak. Our sick societies can not handle weakness. So I suspect many people would rather be the bully than the bullied.
@@morningtrees2090 Dunno one can learn from an early age, that being bullied is stronger. You have to be seriously messed up to find yourself in that spot though, to enoucter that as a realisation. That no matter how much they hit or hurt you, likely one, its no where near as bad as the worst you endured, but also that they cannot move your mind, force compliance or any other something they are seeking, by violence. That perhaps includes your own returning violence, which will appear weak and all but invite bullying.
That and given how avoidant, intellectual and self sufficent he went, I suspect that might be his thing. Sort of counter-dependent or 'avoidant personality disorder' sort of thing as perhaps it might be thought today.
He might still have taken up an distaste for weakness still, but that doesn't it worked out as simply as bully and bullied.
It might also be something to note, that he was born 1844, in now Germany, and in 1806 Johann Gottlieb Fichte in his Addresses to the German Nations created the 'new education' aka Prussian Public School Program aka Industrial Education or 'slave conditioning' as some consider it, not without merit if you ever read Fichte.
So his Childhood would have been exposed to this new constraining education system with access to the previous generations as it was changing.
He might, perhaps literally, have been wrestling with a sickening society and literally not wanting to be well adjusted to it.
Well said, truth
I love him, I'm so grateful for his intuitions and knowledge
Pure genius and incredible insight
you’re a gift Dr. Maté …. thank you for you. i’m so grateful for you and your teachings. no more words to express the gratitude 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
Dear God, what is happening to these children in detention camps?😢😢😢😢🙏🙏
What detention camps?
@@joelmolt cages
@@joelmolt USA
And it has gotten even worse under the new administration 😢
🙏🏻🙏🏻
This work is a love gift to the world. Thank you.
💖🙏
I have learnt only from yhis brilliant compassionate inquiry, he is the teacher of our times. I am grateful i was given an intro.. Engaging in studying everthing i can here im home and happy for yhe 1st time 60 yrs in a few days... Longest journey as an artist. Mother. Disabled... Hard hell yes... But worth everything... Im glad for myself... Thr body sais no... Absolutely. Xx thabk u xx, stress gone xx
Three fourths of the way through this amazing video Sat Dharam Kaur speaks. I’ve never been interested in any form of yoga until this moment.
Brilliant! Dr. Mate has given the world something terribly precious - INSIGHT to the psyche!!!
🙏💖🙏
People interested in becoming parents should listen to this. It would have changed everything I did (and I thought I did ok back then). It’s something I will pass on to my children when they consider children.
I love that Maté puts more store by anecdotal evidence than evidence-based 'science'. I had a stressful childhood. I'm sitting here age 45 in the middle of a very rough early menopause, which began at 42-43. I assumed it was just bad luck; a lottery I didn't win. The more I've researched the subject, the more the evidence suggests that stressed female children tend to reach puberty earlier (before 12). I was 11. Those same girls then have a drastically increased chance of hitting menopause early, or more prematurely (before 45) than others of their age group.
I wish I had this information when I was expecting my children. Nevertheless, I am grateful to gain this knowledge from this amazing doctor.
Thank you dr. Gabor mate. Your wisdom is truly enlightening and since ive became a mother ive been reading your books and watching your videos on UA-cam. Thank you for sharing so much wisdom.
Multi-generational trauma 8th chakra pathology. So real and true.
Curious about this for 8th chakra.....
@@theresapelham1918 me too
Childhood Emotional Neglect
He is amazing
Thank you for your knowledge and wonderful energy.
Gargling is a really good way to deal with stress. It sooths the Vegus nerve. Brings your vegal tone up. Try it next time you are stressed. Make a Chewbacca noise for a minute or so during your negative thought or emotion, you'll be surprised.
Wow! That's so interesting, thank you for sharing.
There was so much knowledge, so many books written on trauma, ADHD, addiction, toxicity of the culture we live in, emotional detachment, and depression. However, it takes an incredibly brilliant mind to connect all these areas of research into the big picture and show how we all are affected by it, "normal people", not just those "faulty" ones of us that should be taken care of in "institutions". Gabor Mate is deservedly becoming one of the few ourstanding characters in the history of psychology to pioneer a series of breakthroughs in our understanding of the deep nature of human mental messups. You are a life-saver, Gabor. Thank you for your gift.
I've been following Dr Mate , this is one of the best lectors I have ever heard, it's so the opposite of what we are molded into. This man has the recipe.
total yes brilliance and honesty
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Exactly, it seems there is no end to Gsbor's brilliance
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He's one of the best... amoungst a few of the best. Thank Dr. Gabor Maté.
Thanks for the upload.
I wish this information would be more learnt ,thank you Dr Gabor,your wisdom and knowledge is inspiring.
Great talk and all makes so much sense. Thank you! Finally these crucial information are becoming more available to educate ourselves and understand more clearly so we have the possibility to heal from inside out.
Great talk 💖 Thank you for posting!
When I was pregnant under an American doctor, I nearly lost my baby. I was transferred to an Eastern European OB/GYN who gave me the type of advice Dr. Mate gives - including resisting the hospital's pressure for a C-section and forced labor - and my baby is now in her 20s and a joy. Mate's advice could mean life over death.
Amazing speaker. Thank you for sharing.
Wish i was there would buy every book n get it signed.
Me too!
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This is the best speech ever this is realistic
How are children going to cop with their future of the trauma of Cov 19
Thank You Dr Gabor Mate, su labor es grande, mucha admiracion siento por Usted.
So much wisdom! I’m getting my own theraphy through all his talks and books... what a relief is not my fault
I am flabbergasted about the low level of the questions while I admire the patience you keep and the attention you are paying to them. Just remember the obituary of the family having lost their four sons in battle in Stalingrad, saying 'In stolzer Trauer'. Maybe your audience doesn't want to hear that
Thank you, everything you say makes so much sense, you are amazing !!!
He is describing my infancy... leading to a hell realm I called my life.
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Dear Curtis, i wish you a healing and wellbeing in your life🙏🏻.
Tears of joy…I have high hopes of solving my small (t) trauma. Hope to make things better in my own family. Love you gabor- your books are amazing
Full of knowing, part of the solution for sure. Great talk.
This should be taught as medicine 101 in every college before any other medical classes.
So important!
Fantastic teacher! God bless you!🥰
Thankyou for your help ...the only truth I have heard which has helped me to realise so much within me that has to be addressed...
🦋☀🦋❤ Máté Gábor csodálatos ajándék vagy az ezen a bolygón. Minden gondolatod szeretem.
Amazing! It’s so simple if you think about it. It’s common sense
Dr. Gabor Mate deserves a Nobel Prize
I am deeply moved bt all...all of this. I sent it to all my friends who are parents...with gratitude for I know them all to be hugging and loving people. Said in between the lines: extend all these factors to the shooting epidemic.
The lady's question at 1:11.53 is where I am at. Gabor is a wonderful human being
Can you heal through patients? I dont mean to sound weird, but sometimes I feel that, when im working with people in psychiatry, traumatized people, and being with them, listening to them, loving them,caring about them, stand with them in difficult situations, they give me so much back, their respons is trust, and that i feel heals my scrued up parts, and helps me as well. Ijust feel fullfilled. Can this be my purpose in life?
If it feels good do it sounds like a calling from God.
@@rosalbahamer994 i love my job, i identify with the suffering .what i give i recive back. This people are the most honest know dispite or because of theie condotion
Yes all helping w love is healing
eli, no doubt about it....you are on your sacred path....grandfather richard
I dont think its fair to them u havent healed thru psychiatry or counceling ur in the same boat makes no sense do the work walk the walk otherwise refund them.
I tuned out as an infant too. Not my fault I didn't bond with my mother. She had postnatal depression from the pregnancy 12mths prior to me being born. Makes so much sense. I have memories of being in cot, floating above it while no one attended to me. Recurring dream.
My 7 yr old brother often cared, fed me.
I have been out of body for 65 years. His work has helped me come back a little bit. I use his techniques daily. All the best you.
Are you n your bro close?
@@rosalbahamer994 yes very