It truly does take a village to raise a child. Which we do not have now. And there is so much pressure on parents or single parent. And it’s causing so many problems, due to that lack of support!
Yes!!!! I realized this with my second child. And realized how absolutely important it is for a child to have a supportive community. We need to be available to parents, not alienate them and make them feel like they aren’t good enough for wanting help. Be available to parents and help!!! Love and protect children, even if they are not your own. In this horrible world, children need protection more now than ever from us ALL!
When I moved to the use for work the first thing that surprised me or I could say scared me very much is seeing infants going to the early childhood center and staying till evening. There is a Montessori center a block away from home and at 6 pm I saw parents picking up their babies … this is the most horrific thing I saw in my life. I am a teacher and SL therapist and I am from Lima Peru. When I was a teacher there 18 years ago in my twenties I used to work 8 till 2:30 pm and my students were leaving school at 12:30 pm ( kindergarteners), since children go home to have lunch there and spend time with any family member available for them who usually is mom or grandma. And the children start attending early childhood centers at age 3 only till 12 pm. Really my country is much more developed that the US in terms of parenting and early childhood policies, and because of my experience in the US and in Peru I can really tell that the mental issues here are immense compared to the ones in my country and culture. Poor children.
I started sending my kid to kindergarten at age 5. before that, I was basically with her at all time, during extracurriculars, gymnastics, ballet, ice skating etc. She seems happy to have her independence but her behavior is so much worse. we used to have some wonderful moments and I, of course, am nostalgic. sometimes I question the wisdom in putting her in a classroom 7 hours a day. If I could have found a half day kindergarten, I would have jumped on it in a second.
This is amazing and we have a lot to learn as society is destroying the values of a family home and the nurturing nature of the next generation to come.
@@salihthedon it's a long and convoluted story, but suffice it to say that ppl who experienced severe trauma should not have children for obvious reasons
But I am watching this interview with my child. Does this count as something negative? 😅 genuine question. I only watch interviews/podcast/documentaries on youtube with him
I find this very difficult advice to hear. Having a baby and a 3 year old, being able to combine work and your relationship I see no other way then to sometime let a kid cry for a while before sleeping. I just don’t see any other way.
I tried heart coherence to take care of my nervous system, and it's really helpful. My family loves it! I think you can try our method and let me know how it works for you.
Can't you at least hug and comfort the child? They will stop crying a lot more quickly if you show them that you at least acknowledge their sadness, frustration or disappointment. You don't have to agree with it. But at least hold them, touch them and look into their eyes and HEAR WHAT THEY ARE TRYING TO EXPRESS!
I had problems with my daughter having a really hard time falling asleep, she was always breastfed to sleep (and cries if she woke up when she was transferred to the crib), during the night we installed a hammock over our bed to swing her to sleep, if she slept with us she sometimes cried and the boob was no solution. At 18months with said " enough", and we started to let her cry to sleep, we would come back a minute later to caress, hug, kiss her and told her to close her eyes and go to sleep, if she kept crying we'd come back 5 minutesnlater, then 10 and cycles of 15 minutes. Thankfully it didn't last long before she learnt to fall asleep by herself and now she no longer cries, or rarely. I wish we had done this sooner since she has such good sleep now, which is good for her and us parents. Mate talks about validating the child, not threatening to withdraw our relationship from the child. You can let the children cry out a little and still show that thr loving parents are right around the corner. On that note, my partner and I would sometimes have a conversation in front of her bedroom, and that helped her fall faster to sleep. I'm sure you're doing great, parenting is hard, but you're listening to Mate, caring about your children, there is no rulebook for life, only guidelines.
@ponch0partout in this case, stress levels are very high. Heart coherence is very useful to reduce the stress levels. We proposed a new method for that. Let's chat.
I love Gabor but I disagree with it. We are not the elephant in the Zoo. We have evolved and this is it. Imagine 1900 raising a kid without antibiotic and your kid can die by simply having common infection which we ignore now. Before the things we considered to have negative impact on raising kids now were invented, parents already have different pressure. Having kids just changes you from being selfish to selfless. It stresses every parent simple as that.
You completely missed the point. Please listen to the video again. I agree with Gabor. Our society has indeed DEvolved to the point that we are no longer in touch with what it means to be human. Like an elephant in a zoo, fed and maintained in an artificial environment with no possibility to develop natural impulses or instincts. Think about it a bit deeper...
It truly does take a village to raise a child. Which we do not have now. And there is so much pressure on parents or single parent. And it’s causing so many problems, due to that lack of support!
Yes!!!! I realized this with my second child. And realized how absolutely important it is for a child to have a supportive community. We need to be available to parents, not alienate them and make them feel like they aren’t good enough for wanting help. Be available to parents and help!!! Love and protect children, even if they are not your own. In this horrible world, children need protection more now than ever from us ALL!
When I moved to the use for work the first thing that surprised me or I could say scared me very much is seeing infants going to the early childhood center and staying till evening. There is a Montessori center a block away from home and at 6 pm I saw parents picking up their babies … this is the most horrific thing I saw in my life. I am a teacher and SL therapist and I am from Lima Peru. When I was a teacher there 18 years ago in my twenties I used to work 8 till 2:30 pm and my students were leaving school at 12:30 pm ( kindergarteners), since children go home to have lunch there and spend time with any family member available for them who usually is mom or grandma. And the children start attending early childhood centers at age 3 only till 12 pm. Really my country is much more developed that the US in terms of parenting and early childhood policies, and because of my experience in the US and in Peru I can really tell that the mental issues here are immense compared to the ones in my country and culture. Poor children.
I started sending my kid to kindergarten at age 5. before that, I was basically with her at all time, during extracurriculars, gymnastics, ballet, ice skating etc. She seems happy to have her independence but her behavior is so much worse. we used to have some wonderful moments and I, of course, am nostalgic. sometimes I question the wisdom in putting her in a classroom 7 hours a day. If I could have found a half day kindergarten, I would have jumped on it in a second.
Homeschool.
Dr. Maté is so incredibly insightful.
This is amazing and we have a lot to learn as society is destroying the values of a family home and the nurturing nature of the next generation to come.
Thank you for sharing this interview...it"s gold...
Fantastic interview. Huge thank you to you both! ❤
Thank you for sharing. I am going to apply this to raise my 5 years old. The healing at the end (intervention) is similar to Ho-oponopono.
Unfortunately at elementary schools the devices like cell phones are expected in order to do lets say mathematics instead of memorizing it.
Excellent.
My spouse and I refuse to return to the office because we get to be around our child all day.
thank you sir
Wisdom.
Parenting has always been hard... i wouldnt do it again..thank god its optional.
Could you tell your story please? Why wouldnt you do it again. I am a father myself of a daughter and like to learn the opinions of other people.
@@salihthedon it's a long and convoluted story, but suffice it to say that ppl who experienced severe trauma should not have children for obvious reasons
Absolutely ❤@@robynhope219
But I am watching this interview with my child. Does this count as something negative? 😅 genuine question. I only watch interviews/podcast/documentaries on youtube with him
I find this very difficult advice to hear. Having a baby and a 3 year old, being able to combine work and your relationship I see no other way then to sometime let a kid cry for a while before sleeping. I just don’t see any other way.
I tried heart coherence to take care of my nervous system, and it's really helpful. My family loves it! I think you can try our method and let me know how it works for you.
Can't you at least hug and comfort the child? They will stop crying a lot more quickly if you show them that you at least acknowledge their sadness, frustration or disappointment. You don't have to agree with it. But at least hold them, touch them and look into their eyes and HEAR WHAT THEY ARE TRYING TO EXPRESS!
I had problems with my daughter having a really hard time falling asleep, she was always breastfed to sleep (and cries if she woke up when she was transferred to the crib), during the night we installed a hammock over our bed to swing her to sleep, if she slept with us she sometimes cried and the boob was no solution. At 18months with said " enough", and we started to let her cry to sleep, we would come back a minute later to caress, hug, kiss her and told her to close her eyes and go to sleep, if she kept crying we'd come back 5 minutesnlater, then 10 and cycles of 15 minutes. Thankfully it didn't last long before she learnt to fall asleep by herself and now she no longer cries, or rarely. I wish we had done this sooner since she has such good sleep now, which is good for her and us parents. Mate talks about validating the child, not threatening to withdraw our relationship from the child. You can let the children cry out a little and still show that thr loving parents are right around the corner. On that note, my partner and I would sometimes have a conversation in front of her bedroom, and that helped her fall faster to sleep. I'm sure you're doing great, parenting is hard, but you're listening to Mate, caring about your children, there is no rulebook for life, only guidelines.
@ponch0partout in this case, stress levels are very high. Heart coherence is very useful to reduce the stress levels. We proposed a new method for that. Let's chat.
We are again not adressing the root cause!
15:21
I love Gabor but I disagree with it. We are not the elephant in the Zoo. We have evolved and this is it. Imagine 1900 raising a kid without antibiotic and your kid can die by simply having common infection which we ignore now. Before the things we considered to have negative impact on raising kids now were invented, parents already have different pressure. Having kids just changes you from being selfish to selfless. It stresses every parent simple as that.
You missed the point entirely.
Have you even watched the video? We are not just the elephant in the zoo. We are the racoon in the trash bin.
You completely missed the point. Please listen to the video again.
I agree with Gabor. Our society has indeed DEvolved to the point that we are no longer in touch with what it means to be human.
Like an elephant in a zoo, fed and maintained in an artificial environment with no possibility to develop natural impulses or instincts.
Think about it a bit deeper...
@@salihthedonYou are so right!