Star Trek Rap Battle - Picard vs Kirk
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- Опубліковано 10 лют 2025
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HUGE Thanks to the McAuliffe Space Center for letting us film there!
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Music and Vocals Mixed with Marcus Joseph, Encore:
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Lighting rented from Underfunded Films. They’re AMAZING:
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Picard: Zack Nelson
/ jerryrigeverything
Data: Eric Allan Hall
Spot: Animatronic Spot Replica
Kirk: David Eff Peterson
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Spock: Keith Allen
Creator/Director: Keith Allen
Producers: Keith Allen, Scott Knopf
Writer: Scott Knopf
Cinematography: Keith Allen, Nate Bonham
Gaffe/Lighting: Keith Allen
Production Design: Keith Allen and McAuliffe Space Center
Music Production: Keith Allen and Marcus Joseph
Editor: Keith Allen
Costumes: Cosplayers themselves, and online purchasing
Production Assistants: Emily Bean, Nate Bonham
This video is sponsored by Genera Games’ “Star Trek: Wrath of Gems” mobile app game
LYRICS:
Picard (Round 1)
Kirk and Spock, that’s the best that they got?
I’d rather battle with Bones, battle Montgomery Scott
You better keep'em around, they’re everything that you’re not
Your bars are Delta Vega cold-mine are Earl Grey hot
And who’d you’d have to-pay for that stupid toupee?
Lookin’ like a Tribble and I don’t mean in a good way
I got the bigger ship and all my enemies are better
Khan had a bob and a scoop-neck sweater
Take him to class, hope this dope can learn this
He’s jealous ‘cause he never learned the Vulcan nerve pinch
This is not a game…don’t ever rap again
Keep your Wrath of Khan, I’m playing Wrath of Gems
You killed Edith Keeler…that’s no misdemeanor
You stopped McCoy from grabbing her in time when he’d seen her
You let the truck hit her, then you tried to forget her
She had a family! But you wouldn’t have saved them either
Kirk (Round 1)
Your chrome-dome has no need for combs
Time for you to go, ‘cause I’m reclaiming the throne
You’re playing pretend, you’re a couple of clones
You’re not Dixon Hill…you’re not Sherlock Holmes
You playing Wrath of Gems, you better pace yourself
‘Cause it’s not the only time you ever played yourself
What you need to bear in mind is me and this bald guy
This small fry, go back even further than his hairline
My ship…runs at warp speed
Your ship…only runs at Worf speed
I talk a lot of trash but I’m only speaking the truth
Can’t be scared of a nerd who’s always playing the flute
I’ll make a Chinese food joke and you cannot stop me
No take-out…but you had beef with Broccoli
Your combat skills are way less than respectable
If you had battled Barclay he’d turn you to a vegetable
Picard (Round 2)
Captain’s Log: I’m rippin’ the mic
Thirty seconds with this guy, I’m missin’ Christopher Pike
You’re morbid, you’re merely focused on scorin’
Flirting with the Hortas while you should have been explorin’
Every time you boarded, you courted something contorted
Skin always distorted, these creatures were looking horrid
Tales so sordid but these girls weren’t gorgeous
You dated ladies with faces lookin’ like Worf’s forehead
When it comes to leading, Kirk, you’re no expert
And when it comes to feelings, Kirk, yours gon’ get hurt
You crack under the pressure-you never put in the effort
Your crew chipped in and bought you this red shirt, Kirk
Switch gears, you might have been pioneers
But me and my rhymes are on-point like Spock ears
Phaser set to “KILL,” don’t make me spark this
Or you’ll end up like the carcass of David Marcus
Kirk (Round 2)
Captain’s Log? Why’d you go and spoil it?
Your “Captain’s Log” should get flushed down the toilet
When you were fourteen, I bet you looked like you’re were forty
If you’re not on the bridge, I’d bet that you be where the Borg be
Traitor. Hater. Kirk impersonator
Bet you didn’t see this coming in your battle simulator
I’ma hit him with a hard left like a car wreck
Get off my starship you “taaaaaar-keck”
I’d had Spock…kidnap Spot
You wanna see that cat again? Well, anything can happen, kid
Now he’s got quite a poker face but I can tell you’re panicking
Unravelin’, explain it to that extravagant mannequin
It’s better to be lucky than good
Just look at my record, I got lucky more than you ever could or ever would
Jean-Luc, I’ma bid you “adieu"
‘Cause I could beat you with just one letter: Q
Data really looked like Data...
I know right!? Did a double take
He's a friend of mine, he been in several projects like this in our area because of how much looks the part.
I actually met Brent Spiner
do Spock vs Data rap battle please!
That would be the best!!!!😂😂😂😂😂
@@judi8073 with WarF!
Felis Catus
is your taxonomic nomenclature
An endothermic quadruped
carniverous by nature
...
data with or without the personality chip? or both?
Janeway vs. Sisko please. At some point.
That would be amazing, though Sisko would win
No shit, Sherlock xD
DJ Williams I think Janeway would win. But that's just my opinion.
+Lee It would have to be Archer v Janeway because only Sisko could compete with Jason Issacs.
I’m not a Star Trek person, but I will have to give this one to Kirk.
Me too lol
"I'd rather battle with Bones!" LOL Picard knows who the real TOS badass was!
🖖😂🧠 Indeed
fascinating
that last line though! "beat you with one letter...Q" DAMN SON!
So many references made no one would know w/o watching more than the recent movies. Impressed and also wondering how that has affected views.
Yes, ahhh the references!
Picard hands fuckin down
Was going with Picard the entire time, until Kirk said the "Q" line at the end, then I have to give it to Kirk
Man! That is one good looking bald guy! 😍 😍 ❤️
+JerryRigEverything GO AWAY. But not really, cuz you're a stud
Hm I have seen this man before 😅🤔 xD
where did you get the uniform?
but your voice don't sound like that :(
I agree, he is 😁
Kirk won. Hands down. "traitor, hater, kirk impersonator" - killed me.
Its a draw for me cause i like star trek as a whole series
If anyone ever mentions anything about star trek on the news like "there's a new movie coming out soon" then you know I'm the one to know about it
You're right, I think Kirk won, too
Or coward trying hiding behind the first directive...
Now I just gotta wait for a rap battle between Picard, Kirk, Janeway and Sisko.
In short, a rap battle against all the captains.
You dated ladies with faces looking like Worf's forehead LMFAO!!!!! That was a very dope line
Picard won the battle, but that last burn from Kirk was amazing!
I was like "Awww damn!"
freakboy186 I thought the Redshirt burn from Picard was the best one 👌
freakboy186 I was out of breath with that one. But yeah, Picard won
Kirk is the best
All rap aside, I vote Picard EVERY time!
Oh no no no, he did NOT dis the flute!!
Freaking awesome!!!! Didn't know the Hitman could rap!
+Geekify Guys LOL. I see what you did there. ;)
Kirk! He definitely has the best "come-backs".
Kirk, of course. Earl Grey Hot may SO"UND cool... but it's the English equivalent of saying "Hi, I'm a milquetoast!" And that describes Picard to a "Tea" :D
As a loyal officer, I must state that Captain Picard won the battle.
+Eric Hall Very logical and systematic of you, Data.
+Eric Hall I totally agree with you.
+KFaceTV can you do more please you need to do LEIA VS LUKE PLEASE
I agree
Ahem*
Guess what's next... our Star Wars Rap Battle FINALE! Don't worry, my friends, it is coming. :)
Shut the front door!
Yeeees!!!!!
FINALLY
YESSSS!!!!!
OMG YES FINALLY THANK U SOOOOO MUCH ☺️
OH LORD these lyrics are golden.
I'm torn, I think it was to close to call for me. haha This was epic! :D
Data: Sir I believed we just got served
Served. As in dissed, shut down, murk'd, pwn'd, 1 v 1'd, 187'd....
Picard: Thank you, Mr. Data....
Well, I'm going with the original cast, Kirk and Spock, they had a lot of good points
At the end, Kirk’s communicater opened up too far like it did in the series. Nice touch.
No red shirts were harmed in the making of this video.
I thought that Picard was winning, but when Kirk said that line at the end; he won for me
A battle so glorious, the audience wins!!
Kirk was the smooth criminal on this one!
There actually was an episode where Picard was 12... and he didn't look 40... so I'm assuming +KFaceTV hasn't seen every Next Generation ever made? 😂😂😂😂 Otherwise, it is pretty accurate. I'm still a Picard fan, though.
All of this was fantastic.
Did anyone else notice that about half of Kirk' s "insults" we're actually points in Picard's favor?
As loyal to the original series, I must join with Captain Kirk. Spock and Kirk are the best duo.
my god, the broccoli line killed me, so hillarious :D
I memorized this two years ago, came back now, can't believe how easy it came to me considering I have a recently gained pronunciation issue.
That broccoli thing killed me😂👌
Kirk smashed Picard with the Console Code.
My friend asked me 'Kirk or Picard' and I said, 'Janeway'
Heck yeah!
I always say “Sisko”
Some of those lines on both sides were very clever :) But when it comes down to it I'm a Picard fan. Great video!
yas
Picard is much bettrr
I would LOVE to see a Janeway vs Sisko rap battle somewhere down the line, if possible. Please please :)
Picard won. For sure.
data and Spock background awesome
Data looks exactly lke the original Brent Spiner Data. Awesome
This rap scratches at level 6 with deeper grooves at level 7
With that Q pun, Kirk definitely gets my vote
I'm watching this and I'm staring at the bald guy, then I'm like
"That's Jerryrigeverything"
kirk and spock won
Kirk always,... And q simply nailed it, so definitely Kirk!!
The production was on point for sure, nice work guys
Wow this is AWESOME!! You are Amazing!
Your crew chipped in and bought you this red shirt 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥😂😂😂😂
I'm ded
I gotta give this to Kirk. I mean that final shot..ow.
Kirk: How many Godlike beings have I beaten Picard?
Picard: ........
Q: Oh, where's the popcorn for this?
These rappers are awesome! Where do you find them?
Kirk won with that Q line!
Whatch all the star trek shows from tos to tng even the movies and you will realize Kirk won
Thank you, guys! You're so talented and do such a great work!
It’s 230 in the morning and I searched up Kirk or Picard. I was not disappointed 😂😂
Thanks for making me laugh. That was awesome!!!
Data and Spot LOL, dude this is awesome!
Kirk had a good one with the Borg. I think won
Kirk just tore Picard a new one every line.
"Hey Data, can you move poetry night to next week? We've got a rap battle tonight." -Picard, probably.
omg so awesome! love it these guys are AMAZING! :):)
+Deadly Sweet Babycakes Thank you! Love you, my peeps
Kirk all day! He is the Chuck Norris of space =]
Dude straight up dropped Edith Keeler first round whaaaaaa
Archer vs Janeway.
Great job!! Just subscribed.
I think Kirk won that one! Lol.
Captain kirk for life
Love it ! Is there someplace to buy an mp3/audio file of this one ?
I expect to see some Star Wars tomorrow.
Kirk is the OG captain.
Now i want Sisko vs Janeway.
Old school Picard killed that battle, but Kirk slaughtered that last skirmi2
Kirk won hands down!
Wow! That Data was a crazy clone. I'd have to go Kirk. He killed it
Right after the battle an IRC commercial ad featuring Patrick Stewart played!
Jerry scratches phone with level 6 mohs pick.
Phone: shields are holding at 60%
Who's here in 2021?
picard wore a red shirt for how many seasons? he still kickin, nuf said! picard for life peace out
When you were 14 I bet you looked like you were 40. Omggg
Kirk all the way...
Kirk and spock
tbh, I wouldn't mind seeing Data and Spock go up against each other…
I really wish you'd make more like this im a huge sifi nut and this is one of my favourites ever pure awesomeness thank you 😁
In terms of rapping, Picard won. In terms of burns, Kirk won hands down!!!!!
I love your brain, lol you guys make the funniest videos. imma have to say Kirk won that one though
This was a hoot! An…..enterprising idea (you’ve heard that before I’m sure).
What about Doctors McCoy vs Pulaski?
Picard won the battle.
Ever thought of doing an Alec Peters vs Robert Meyer Burnett
Hello. Nice. I can hear a cross between the Jerry Goldsmith-composed "Motion Picture" theme and the old, three-note CBS audio logo thoughout.
I think Picard won.
Kirk won, Q just be in the background: InTeReStInG
Picard for the win
It's pretty good filming. I have a good feeling about your Han Solo movie that earned $20k on kickstarter. And, your interviews afterwards.
Kirk vs. Picard? There's only one answer to this age-old question:
SISKO.
I can beat all of you in one letter... Q
Thank you!
Your ship runs at worf speed? What does that even mean? He’s a tactical officer....
Your worried about fucking horta when you should be exploring so fire. My fav
What's up with the cat in the background with Picard?
Is that Jerry from jerryrigeverything as Picard? “It scratches at 6 and deeper grooves at level 7”.