Thank you very much for the wonderful teaching. It made me cry, I realized it's me as a parent that needs to first learn how to handle my emotions, before my kid can.
Thank you for this learning moment as a single father its really frustrating not knowing what to do and I feel bad thinking I'm not doing everything in my power to help my little girl.
Love the way you address the development and brain connection. Sometimes we as parents assume (incorrectly) that our kid has the same ability to understand complex issues or regulate emotions that we have. Something you do really well in your videos is to re-connect with the reality of that child's stage of development. Thanks for the contributions you're making to conscious parenting! DrPaul
Lori, I'm going to reference this video in an upcoming video on my channel around a similar topic. I think you would be a great resource for many of my subscribers. DrPaul
Thank you. Before I was feeling guilty that my kids hitting in daycare and he just 2.5 now I understand what he might going through. Before make him calm down. First I need to calmly listen to him. You gave me a different perspective to think rather than blaming my kid. Thank you for bringing up the facts about hitting. I am little relief now
thank you for this amazing insight! validating your child's emotions and pain is really the best way they can learn how to manage their bodies natural response to conflict, instead of shaming them. Help them understand how to be aware of how they feel, then they can take it from there and build social reactions. even better when they see another child getting mad they won't say " that's a bad kid" they will know how to engage them as well. EMPATHY saves the day once again!!
The most amazing advice I’ve been given on dealing with my toddler. It’s completely opposite to what I’ve always thought I was supposed to do 🤯😭 I’m gona start NOW!!
@@imuhlion sorry I didn’t see this, it did work! Hope you were able to try it and see how great it feels to feel connected.. it was really the first time I was able to feel like there wasn’t such a clash between me and my toddler.
Thank you for your video, it's so reassuring to know we are on the right track.My nearly 3.5 yo has just regressed back to hitting and explosive physical outbursts, we've been through it before with him and I thought we were out the other side of this stage. It can be so hard as a parent to know what to do and I really appreciate your practical and gentle approach.
hi mommy lori! i'm from the philippines and i'm learning so much from your videos! May God bless you for being so generous of your parenting expertise and pieces of advice!
I am dealing with siblings a year apart, just moved to a new home, can't get them on their schedules. Apparently, hitting and biting is a new favorite hobby they love/hate. I appreciate your thoughts and advice.
thank you so much i really needed to hear this educational step by step video. My daughter is 21 month and I am getting so frustrated with her constant hitting and scratching I needed to watch your video to learn no coping and positive parenting techn..
Finally! Someone that says that time out and punishment for this age is absolutely useless. They do not care about being time out they dont remember it next time they have a tantram , if anything if gets them more frustrated and angry. This advice is fantastic the best advice I have come across so far, I'm gonna try this starting tomorrow, I really hope it works. I have noticed my son likes to be made to feel empowered and listened to and when he feels helpless thats when he behaves like this .
Thanks for the video, but I couldnt find anything for a case where a toddler starts hitting your eyes at the most positive and loving moments and follow it with a laughter. He has no aggression at all just having fun. How can you stop her from hitting your eyes? My eyes are truly hurting!
Thanks so much for watching. I don't remember what I said in this video but I would say set a physical boundary and create space. Move away. Hitting is a common stage and it can be redirected but it takes repetition. They can't always "stop" because we ask. At that age, the impulse control is not well developed and it takes time (and also repeatedly setting the limit. I" don't like that It hurts my eyes. I'm going to move back so I don't get hit." etc.
Thank you. I was raised with time outs and hitting as discipline. I hate the idea of having my daughter raised the same way, but when she hits I have to stop and tell myself to not hit back because it is what I am used to, it’s difficult sometimes, because it’s just first response. Thank you again, this gives me other options to deal with the hitting, pinching, and scratching. Now to get my parents, in laws, and husband on board.
Me and me partner are struggling so much with our 3 year old boy. He hits us, bites us etc. He gets so angry. But a lot of the things you say aren’t good ideas or probably worsening the issue. Personally I feel like a bad parent and hope this helps me and helps us. Thank you for this, I hope I can be a better parent.
Ive been watching your videos all night. Its truly amazing what ypu have to offer thank you. Your lile the perfect ideal parent. I wish i could be this level headed. My daughter is two and has a hard time comunicating. She is behind on speaking so she lashes out often and can be hard to calm her down. I dont know how tp comunicate with my child who can not communicate back or understand.
Can I share with you how my mom handled it when a child threatened to hit her? She said "Oh, honey you better not. See, I have this medical condition and if a child hits me, my hand hits right back. Really hard. I can't help it". Boy, that kid backed right up. This was many years ago and the way things are now an adult probably couldn't say that. But I thought it was brilliant Sometimes the only thing that works is for a kid to hit the WRONG PERSON. It's amazing how effective that can be..
@@teachthroughlove I knew a kid who stole a bike. His dad beat him He never stole again. I knew kids that grew up where the parents were too easy going in discipline, At school they were way out of line. Honestly some of these kids deserve a good beating. I think psychology today over babies . people are allot more resilient and tougher. Honestly kids should get hit more to stay in line. Maybe we would have better behave kids .
Thank you so much! I'm a first-time mom with no one to help. My toddler keeps hitting me. I would give him time out, but it only helps for a short while. I would tell him hands are not for hitting and it hurts when he hits. Now I see what I have to do. God bless you!
@@poolboyinla hello my son is almost 5 now and all the hitting etc has stopped. He has difficulty sometimes transitioning i.e leaving playdates but calms down pretty quick after. I found doing the positive parenting (although very hard staying patient and calm at times ) has done wonders for him . Lots of connection and bonding, quality time each day etc , no punishing/timeouts has all helped. Are you in same situation?
Me too. We don’t hit or tolerate that behavior so it’s not learned. However when I see his grandma (dementia and mental health conditions) do something that’s either grabbing something or accidental kicks him while he’s on floor tantruming....he looks at her like he sees a bully. It’s by accident but this is a look I recognize in my 2 yr
Really helpful. Confirmed how I have felt but this a great teaching to follow when self doubt appears. It also brings clarity to the approach I have been trying to achieve. Thank you!!
My 3-year-old daughter has always had and still has tantrum episodes every single day. It’s humiliating. Bedtime is so stressful EVERY DAY! And this is not the only time she is out of control. I have tried it all; routine, stories, positive reinforcement, games, etc., still, nothing works. We can't figure it out...we would appreciate your input... I'm all ears!!! Thanks!!!
I have a hit a wall with my 26 month old with hitting, kicking with diaper changes and pulling my hair. Let's just say this has been going on for 18 months and my temper has broken. Yesterday we were reading and spending time together and he turned around and open handed slapped me across the face. Hard. Today he ripped out a handful of hair while eating outside for a picnic. No exaggeration. I am trying so hard to get back to being happy with my son, but the behavior is making me not like being a mom or him very much. Boy oh boy have we tried everything including your suggestions-having him help, giving him choices etc. Saying I won't let you hit me gets a laugh. Sometimes I have to straddle him to get a diaper on and yes, we do use pull ups when possible but that is not always the case. I cannot wait for potty training. I feel so broken and beat down figuratively and literally.
Carol Beard I wish it has improved. It has only gotten worse. This week has had me in tears. I am 6 months pregnant and today he kicked me in the stomach. So yeah, just barely making it. Never hits anyone else. Yes a lot of times it is for attention but he needs 100% attention all of the time or you can guarantee and swift kick or and smack. I do my best to keep him occupied and I am trying to find a preschool we can afford as he needs others to help him learn social skills. He is developmentally fine, temperamentally has always been a challenge from birth. Sweet smart kid somedays and other truly a devil. He is really thoughtful and well behaved outside of the home. You would never guess how he acts behind closed doors.
Team Queen’ s Fearn Tucker and Bentley Forever Every child potty trains at their own pace. Some days he will use the toilet, others not. I am not pushing it.
Ace Davis You’re not alone girl my about to be 3 year old son is wild, angry, aggressive, violent and to top it off in the 99th percentile for size so I’m getting beat up by a kid the size of a 5-6 year old!!! I just had another baby as well and my son kicked/hit my tummy too! I ended up having to hide a lot in my bedroom while his father took after him more. I have to be insanely careful with him around my now 4 month old daughter!! I’ve found leaving him alone when he starts doing these things until he calms down helps, let him cry it out a bit and wear himself out then try a regroup!
I know this might sound crazy, but there's a thing called "Yelling", you should try it. But all jokes aside, try yelling at him in a loud and clear voice, that might work.
Something I tried with my niece when she hit me was saying No hitting... Just kissing. And then kissing her loads. She calmed down right off the bat and started to giggle. I guess that kinda taught her to turn the negative into positive.
The facts are that a two year old prefrontal cortex is underdeveloped. They cannot regulate their emotions. By telling them off so vigorously, you will only be adding to their negative emotional state. It's your job to show them how to regulate their emotions. How to have negative emotions and deal with them proactively.
Awesome video! Could you do a video with a toddler/preschooler with autism and/or developmental delays when they have tantrums. I'm thinking redirecting and the stress ball but there's so many different scenarios for this type of behaviour.
Erin I am not an autism specialist (except growing up with undiagnosed Aspergers) but a relational approach workds for ALL kids... kids on the spectrum may have other sensory issues (there is a video for that here) or longer learning curves (less ability to self-regulate alone, more anxiety etc) but the approach would be the same. :)
***** Thanks. I work with a boy in my class who may have undiagnosed autism and when he's over-stimulated or there are too many children playing around him he moans and cries. He likes playing alone. The busier the environment, the worse it gets.
I'm a single mom with little to help., I have a two yr old and hes been hitting me .. . I know it's my actions but I also thought it might be his dad's house..but after watching this I realise it's me..my son is becoming so angry with me . ive put so many demands and limits on him, adding shame. I'm so scared he'll become angry, I dont know where to start. Please help me.. I love my son so much and only want him happy..and dont wany to loose the bond, like my mother did with me. I stopped trusting my mom at the age of 7-8. Cause I didnt understand .
I have a question, I have a mom friend who has a kid around my kids age. The kids like eachother but her kid has a kid who hits. How do I speak to my kids about what to do? I don’t know what to do with that other child because it’s not my child. But I don’t want my kids to think it’s ok to be hit
I am going to try this. My son has been hitting my 2 year old daughter whenever she's playing with his toys. I know he knows better, because we've talked about how hitting is bad and he immediately gets this 'oh shit' look on his face after he hits her. He knows he messed up. I usually pick up my daughter and comfort her first, and then I try and talk to my son after, but he still keeps doing it.
My 2 year old son...soon to be 3 in 2 Months... hits me when he is gotten on to ... no matter if my sister gets on to him.... he will run over to me and slap me I think he might have ADHD / autistic/ and have sensory disorder.... I would love to know your opinion
Hi, Thank you so much for your ideas.. my 3 yes started nursery, he has no sibling n no age fellow in family n frienz. Its been 3rd week but he did not has friend yet, he's good with his teachers and adults but not with kids. Yesterday the teacher said he pushed a kid and And was pressing him. Today she said he was hitting n scratching bla bla.. she exaggerated but the manager of nursery said he pushes the kids.. no hitting yet. The teacher yesterday said we gave time out to him. What shoukd i do.. bcz he never hit or push any kid ever before.. but the nursery teacher are saying this.. plzz help
Thank you for this video. My daughter is 14 months old and she has began to hit very often throughout the day. She is learning to talk more and I am trying to teach her how to interact with others by saying their name to get the person's attention rather than hitting. She hits me mostly and her 5 year old brother. At times I have to give her extra space, while still staying close , but she just won't stop. Are there any more strategies I could try with a 14 month old? Thank you
How can I use this technique with a 2 year old that doesn't quite yet have the verbal skills to understand or respond to those questions and whatnot? Like, if I asked her "how can we make Daddy feel better?" after she was screaming at/hitting him, she wouldn't really be able to answer that yet. I've done something similar where I try to get her to say sorry or go give him a hug or something, and sometimes it works when it's me, but when it's her dad, she doesn't seem to want to. And now he's convinced she doesn't like/love him anymore. He has like zero experience with kids, so I've been trying to explain to him that this kind of stuff is normal for her age, but it still bothers him. And sometimes what I'm doing now works, and sometimes not so much. So I'm thinking I'm not doing this right or something.
My son is nearly 5, and has a developmental delay. He has been kicked out of 3 preschools since August, and is already hitting at this new daycare. I'm doing what I can to be proactive to help but he ONLY ever hits at preschool, and never any other time. He possibly has autism and we're working with it, but we're running out of options to nip this issue in the bud and we can't afford to have him get kicked out of another preschool. Running out of options.
For any child with developmental needs are frustrated.. Perhaps keep showing them how to handle situations over and over again may help? My son is the same.. But he hits his sister at home too and not souch in school. Its hard
I’ve had toddlers & 5 year olds, diagnosed autistic children in my classrooms that hit. I, as the teacher, did what I could to help these students as much as possible, things such as having these students do wall push ups, help Unstack chairs, things that had them use their gross motor. During “trigger times” (such as centers, morning circle time..) my students had weighted vests or a weighted pillow placed on their laps. These things were all part of their DIET (not food diets!) and it really helped in my classrooms with the hitting.
Do you have an update. I'd quit my job and take care of him. He doesn't want to be away from you because he's too young and he's not social. If he's important to you you should change your life to help him be comfortable in this world. He needs his mommy. We humans need warm supportive, loving connection. Some more than others. I hope you can find a way to support him in the way he needs.
I am a single mother. My 4 year old had a tantrum at the train station the other day. They hit me and kicked me as hard as they could many times and bruised my legs. I told them to stop but they didn't. Many people were looking. They only calmed down when the trained arrived. I just blocked the hits and kicks which seemed to upset them more. I don't know what to do to cope with this.
My sister's 3year old doesn't hit, but he is a rough boy. Too rough for his little sister. She's a year old. They love to play together, but how do we explain that she's too small to play the way he's used to?
I really enjoyed your video it all makes so much sense, have you made or found any good examples/scenario videos for more of a visual to show what to do in these situations? such as when the child is hitting out of anger/frustration, mad and throwing toys when a toy isn't working, or the child is yelling and saying 'no' when defiant about things they don't want to do....
I came to this video because I just started working with 2 year olds at a daycare and this one boy has a major hitting problem. If another kid gets anywhere near him he gets this mischievous look in his eyes and hits them, sometimes even hitting them in the head with big toy trucks. I can tell that the usual response to this has been to yell and give him time out. I want to try a new approach and show some empathy but it's hard because 1. Even when I try to get on his level and talk to him he doesn't look at me or listen and 2. I don't want to overstep my boundaries as a teaching assistant. :/
You mentioned shadow kits for hitting or biting. Where can I get more information about these shadow kits? I found the communication cards on your website and ordered them because I found them to be invaluable. But where can I get more info on impulse control you spoke of with hitting or biting?
Hi Ashleigh, thanks so much for watching and ordering my cards! In this video I actually said, "shadow kids" meaning - you follow them closely while they're struggling with behaviors. Young kids need an adult to sometimes help them stop their behavior because of the lack of impulse control - so "shadowing" them allows us to be close enough to be a physical boundary when necessary :)
I need help. My soon to be 5 year old got written up at preschool today for hitting and calling the teacher stupid . I’m blown away . He is a very sweet boy but does have tantrums and if pushed too much he does hit . I’ve told the teacher that when he acts up and throws a tantrum at home I tell him “I don’t like the way your acting so go to your room and count to 20 and come out when your calm “ and I leave him alone . He then comes out calmly and apologizes to me . I guess at school she removes him from the situation by picking him up and at that point and time he gets angrier and hits her. I need to get to the bottom of this and change things around . We have already gotten threatened with getting kicked out of preschool. She wants a conference meeting ASAP . I need advice . Thank you in advance.
These are great for verbally abled children. Perhaps one of the most difficult things is what to do when your child has a verbal comprehension problem. My little guy is 3.5 and keeps kicking and hitting and being rough with other children, adults, and animals. He does it on purpose to annoy others as well as when in primitive fight/flight/flee brain. He has sensory issues and low registry of pressure in his body. What would you recommend for a child like this?
You have to teach him key words and teach him to use them, my son had issues talking and pronouncing words and was hitting a lot his friends, sister, adults...I emphased some specific words as : leave me alone, stop it etc. and he started talking and coming to me rather than hitting
Toddlers do not outgrow poor coping mechanisms- they need to be taught by modeling. Sooooo important. ❤ Children will never do what we say; they will only ultimately do what we do.
Great tips! My toddler is this state of anger any tome she gets hurt or someone tells her “no,” she immediately hits or throws toys. Also, she’s teething so I noticed she randomly will pinch/ hit me because she’s in pain, I know now to ask if her gums hurt and she points to her mouth in frustration.
Its very informative. If the quality of recorder is better, it would be easier for a English as second Lagrange speaker like me. The sound seem to have echoes.
Been trying to apply it but it is really frustrating when it is taking an hour or two. My kid won't even let me near him when he's having big emotions. He would run,look for his sibling and hurt him. Then smile once the other kid is hurt. It is saddening.
My toddler is 3 1/2 though. She'll be 4 in February and she is very nice with other kids so far but with us at home she's so rough. She is always wanting to play "bad guys" and this got her ramped up tonight and when we were done playing she was next to her dad as I got dinner cleaned up and she just bites daddy hard out of nowhere. Idk why she's doing this but I can't get her to get past this embarrassed feeling afterwards to say sorry. You can tell she gets embarrassed but she doesn't truly seem regretful. How can I get her to understand that this hurts and is not okay? I'm just afraid that it will work it's way into school somehow. She seems so sweet and shy at school but at home.. whew, watch out.
What do you do when your 2 and a half year old smacks you without reason? Like out of nowhere? Mine does both when he is frustrated and just because....I have tried hugging him but he is all over the place, I've tried talking to him calmly then he just screams & smacks me again. I am at a loss...
Hi Victorious - join us over in our Facebook community for more ideas - but 2 year olds don't have impulse control - so he's not doing it with a malicious intent. Their brains aren't yet developed - so they get physical because they are frustrated and don't have the ability to control how they feel yet. You set the limit while also being the physical boundary.
MY 2 YEAR OLD HITS ALL THE TIME. no frustration or anger. wakes up, walks around the house and slaps me, his dad, his aunt that lives with us, the dog etc. no triggers. i get on his level and say "no hitting" i get nothing. he just walks away. a solid year and 1 month of this. how does empathy help? idk what he's feeling. he isnt showing any emotion except enjoyment. i've tried ignoring him and not giving him a reaction. he'll continue to hit until i'm bruised
No the best way when they are under 3 is to ignore their bad behaviour, only tell them off once , take them out of the situation, and ignore them until they have calmed down, then explain why they shouldn't do what they did
i did the deep breathing and play time he just throws things he’s thrown things at my father my mom and me even my siblings i even got him coloring big pages and a small coloring book n crayons and he just gets mad i normally put my hand on his back n rub him and say just breathe but he pushes me away so i give him space n he gets angry
Would you have any suggestions on my 1.5 year old who is hitting everything/one? For some reason, he particularly likes to hit the 70 lb dog. He doesn't know the difference between a pat and a hit. Sometimes it's in anger, sometimes it's in fun. In this instance, how do we correct the "fun"?
Hi Sarah, Check out my playlist for toddlers and preschoolers. You won't get "obedience" at this age because an 18 month old can't control their impulses yet. I also have a video about when kids hit the pets you can check out!
How do you handle a conversation with a parent who's child (older Boy toddler) pushes my younger toddler (girl)? It's my brother in law's lady, and I've witnessed the boy push my daughter or hit my other son, and the mom just laughs and says no. How would you handle it?
plz help me. my elder son was very much obedient, calm at the age of his first 2 yrs. but after that I become pregnant. I couldn't give him proper time. Now he is too much stuborn, always screaming, even hitting his lil bro sometimes. what can I do? only he acts very gently if he get anyone who is at his age.
I have this problem as well. I have tried everything. I have tried just what you said here. She hits when she can't have it her way. She almost never listen to me at all. She does things she's not allowed to till I loose my calm and she finally gets her negative reaction that she wants, I don't know.
It's hard but children aren't looking for negative reactions. If they're still struggling, it means that they're dysregulated and internally cannot handle what is happening. If we can't maintain composure, we need to find support. Kids who don't listen might be struggling with your relationship or with internal stress they can speak about. Age matters - young kids need us to help them stop and getting mad at aggression will only increase the aggression. Try my free conscious parenting academy for more tips. It can get better.
Our 7 month old hits slaps bites and scratches AND KICKS ....its not out of frustration he does it for kicks but It hurts like heck he will catch us of gaurd somtimes and open hand slap,or bites .When we say stop or no no no ,he laughs about it and does it MORE! HELP HELP HELP
Aquila's View, my LO started doing the same around that age too, she's 15 months now. I learned some tips that have definitely slowed down how much she does it. She only does it when she's tired now but, these things take time!
I'm a 28 year old single mother. My fiancée died almost 4 years ago while I was 6 months pregnant with our son. Playing the mother, and, "father" roll is extra hard on me. Do you have anything about single parents on their own and how to disaplin a toddler? :/ My son who defines me very much, is now hitting kids in his daycare/Preschool. I'm worried he might become a bully to other kids, to anyone and I'm pulling my hair out not knowing what to do anymore. Hopefully you have something for single parents? :/
Omg, my 8 month old niece does the same thing. She finds it hilarious. Yes, it hurts and is done when you least expect it. I have gotten to the point of automatically telling her NO as soon as I hold her. She listens and obey only when I show her I'm aware what her intentions are. I HOPE SHE GROWS OUT OF THIS STAGE.
My grandchild does this. He is now 10.5 months. It started at 6-7 months. He seems to enjoy it and it worries me because my children never did this and if they did, I told them NO and that it hurt and they wouldn't do it again. I'm going to go to the Dr with them at his 1 year appt, if he's still doing it, and see if it's normal. If he didn't seem to enjoy it, it wouldn't bother me so much. He does it hard and repeatedly...if your face is in proximity, you are going to get hit, no matter who you are. Otherwise, he is a good baby. Did your child ever stop doing it?
My child is 18 month and he started to hit when i tell him no for hurting himslef, or even when we were in the airport he want to go to a diffrent way from us, and when i hold him he hit me and even scratch me. I tried to sit down with him and tell him NO in a deep tone and holding his hands and say " hands are not for hitting". Its not working for me, can you plz help me?!!
Omg this is amazing! I have been struggling with my 2&1/2 year old recently with the same habits, I didn't know what to do because I felt I had tried all obvious solutions. But when you explain it from a physiologic/scientific perspective I can understand the true workings of what why how when these things are happening. Thank you
My son 2 n half year old when some kids come my home my son is hitting and punching and I fell so much embarrassment on that's time plz give me some suggestions plz plz
I use positive validation and empathy, but my child is as unruly as ever. We have an Emotions chart and try to discern his emotions but he's still biting occasionally. 😢
Thank you very much. That was very helpful because my son hits a child that doesn't like sharing but my son does like to take his toys from my son because they are not my sons. I know he wants to play with the child but hitting is not right so I am trying to help him from doing that. Also do I teach my son not to share with that child because he does not share with my son? Thank you.
Please help me! My son will be 2 in February. I am experiencing behavior issues with him. He is a happy baby when he gets what he wants but as soon as he doesn't he will start hitting and will bite. At times he will cause himself pain. I've tried every method of discipline possible and nothing seams to work. It has gotten so bad that no daycare wants him and I have avoided going out to public with him. He wants to destroy all his toys and objects. He yells and screams at me when he is mad. I have seriously tried everything. I have went to counselor and pastors and asked for help. Nothing they have said has worked for my child. NOTHING at ALL!!
Hi Ryana, The first 5 years can be difficult The reason you may not be seeing "improvement" is because your child is too small to "behave" in the ways you are describing. Hitting is quite normal and a typical reaction for a toddler. It will take several years for him to be able to manage his impulses. His brain is not that mature yet. It takes an emotionally aware adult to repeatedly respond with empathy - holding boundaries when kids emotions overtake them.
Ryana Mcie As a fellow Mama, i really wanna send you a big hug and loads of love. Really hear how painful it is for you and exhausting, how disappointing you are not getting the support you need from daycare etc. And i hear how your little boy is struggling. No matter how he is acting, hold it in mind and heart that he is a beautiful good kid inside always, he is just really struggling with development and transitions, and he will come through it!!!! My immediate response to share is to make sure he doesn't have sugars and additives in his foods, making sure that he doesn't get too much stimulation with noise,people, tv etc, make sure he has regular snacks & water/milk/etc, stay true to your routines, regular bed times, meal times, snack times, play and quiet, cuddle times. I would email Lori personally i am sure she can help you!!!! Discipline at this age can create more frustration and anger as they are just too young to understand right wrong, they just need loads of love and support with the huge often scary feelings they experience as the world opens up. Altho of course you want to set clear limits and boundaries, in my experience it works best through love, empathy, really listening to their feelings, finding a way to tolerate and accept their crying, outbursts, anger, when they don't get what they want, and as kindly as you can hold those boundaries with love. It won't last for ever its just a stage of development. Main thing is getting support for yourself so you get time to let off steam, have a cry, go for a run, get out all the frustration that can build up as a tired, exhausted Mama, who is doing your best....wishing you all the best Ryana.
Thank you very much for the wonderful teaching. It made me cry, I realized it's me as a parent that needs to first learn how to handle my emotions, before my kid can.
Thank you for this learning moment as a single father its really frustrating not knowing what to do and I feel bad thinking I'm not doing everything in my power to help my little girl.
You are a good parent learning how to do it. Not many people do. Your daughter will be grateful to you later
Thats good advice hope i can implement it just tend to lose my cool and end up feeling like a bad mom 😔
Don't feel bad, you're only human. It happens to the best of us. At least you're looking at different ways to go about the situation.
conscious NOT perfect! Work on building your tolerance - and take care of yourself.
Love the way you address the development and brain connection. Sometimes we as parents assume (incorrectly) that our kid has the same ability to understand complex issues or regulate emotions that we have. Something you do really well in your videos is to re-connect with the reality of that child's stage of development. Thanks for the contributions you're making to conscious parenting! DrPaul
Lori, I'm going to reference this video in an upcoming video on my channel around a similar topic. I think you would be a great resource for many of my subscribers. DrPaul
Thank you. Before I was feeling guilty that my kids hitting in daycare and he just 2.5 now I understand what he might going through. Before make him calm down. First I need to calmly listen to him. You gave me a different perspective to think rather than blaming my kid.
Thank you for bringing up the facts about hitting.
I am little relief now
Appreciate the guidance! Mom and I are definitely at the point where we need to educate ourselves further.
thank you for this amazing insight! validating your child's emotions and pain is really the best way they can learn how to manage their bodies natural response to conflict, instead of shaming them. Help them understand how to be aware of how they feel, then they can take it from there and build social reactions. even better when they see another child getting mad they won't say " that's a bad kid" they will know how to engage them as well. EMPATHY saves the day once again!!
The most amazing advice I’ve been given on dealing with my toddler. It’s completely opposite to what I’ve always thought I was supposed to do 🤯😭 I’m gona start NOW!!
Yes please let me know how it goes.
Did it worked ?
@@areichzia526 it worked AMAZINGLY ❤❤❤ I would recommend checking out dr Paul Jenkins too on so much more advice for positive parenting. 🥰
@@imuhlion sorry I didn’t see this, it did work! Hope you were able to try it and see how great it feels to feel connected.. it was really the first time I was able to feel like there wasn’t such a clash between me and my toddler.
Your words are highly amazing, I did cry listening to it! Thank you very very much!
Thank you for your video, it's so reassuring to know we are on the right track.My nearly 3.5 yo has just regressed back to hitting and explosive physical outbursts, we've been through it before with him and I thought we were out the other side of this stage. It can be so hard as a parent to know what to do and I really appreciate your practical and gentle approach.
Hi! My LO does the same at 3.3 years old. How is your child now? Has he outgrown the hitting?
I’m so glad I found your channel only wish I had found it prior to yesterday. Thank you so much for your content😊
hi mommy lori! i'm from the philippines and i'm learning so much from your videos! May God bless you for being so generous of your parenting expertise and pieces of advice!
Mabuhay
Consciousness, not perfection! Love, love, love this!
thanks for watching, Julia! xoLori
I am dealing with siblings a year apart, just moved to a new home, can't get them on their schedules. Apparently, hitting and biting is a new favorite hobby they love/hate. I appreciate your thoughts and advice.
Thanks, this gives me a lot of insight to how I've been handing my own toddler. I will be refining my strategy with what I've learned
Wow! You are AMAZINGLY well spoken and packed so much knowledge into a short an interesting video! Thank you
Fantastic advice from such an articulate person, thank-you.
thank you so much i really needed to hear this educational step by step video. My daughter is 21 month and I am getting so frustrated with her constant hitting and scratching I needed to watch your video to learn no coping and positive parenting techn..
Finally! Someone that says that time out and punishment for this age is absolutely useless. They do not care about being time out they dont remember it next time they have a tantram , if anything if gets them more frustrated and angry. This advice is fantastic the best advice I have come across so far, I'm gonna try this starting tomorrow, I really hope it works. I have noticed my son likes to be made to feel empowered and listened to and when he feels helpless thats when he behaves like this .
Thank you so much this video is very very informative
This was so helpful! Thank you!!
Thank you so much for watching!
Thank you for this video. My 2 year old is hitting other kids and I get complaints from other parents. 😔
Thanks for the video, but I couldnt find anything for a case where a toddler starts hitting your eyes at the most positive and loving moments and follow it with a laughter. He has no aggression at all just having fun. How can you stop her from hitting your eyes? My eyes are truly hurting!
Thanks so much for watching. I don't remember what I said in this video but I would say set a physical boundary and create space. Move away. Hitting is a common stage and it can be redirected but it takes repetition. They can't always "stop" because we ask. At that age, the impulse control is not well developed and it takes time (and also repeatedly setting the limit. I" don't like that It hurts my eyes. I'm going to move back so I don't get hit." etc.
Thank you. I was raised with time outs and hitting as discipline. I hate the idea of having my daughter raised the same way, but when she hits I have to stop and tell myself to not hit back because it is what I am used to, it’s difficult sometimes, because it’s just first response.
Thank you again, this gives me other options to deal with the hitting, pinching, and scratching. Now to get my parents, in laws, and husband on board.
My friend is having trouble with her child hitting. Sharing it with her. Thanks!!
Thank you so much! 💙
Me and me partner are struggling so much with our 3 year old boy. He hits us, bites us etc. He gets so angry. But a lot of the things you say aren’t good ideas or probably worsening the issue. Personally I feel like a bad parent and hope this helps me and helps us. Thank you for this, I hope I can be a better parent.
Ive been watching your videos all night. Its truly amazing what ypu have to offer thank you. Your lile the perfect ideal parent. I wish i could be this level headed. My daughter is two and has a hard time comunicating. She is behind on speaking so she lashes out often and can be hard to calm her down. I dont know how tp comunicate with my child who can not communicate back or understand.
Great advice! Thanks Lori for all you do...
Can I share with you how my mom handled it when a child threatened to hit her? She said "Oh, honey you better not. See, I have this medical condition and if a child hits me, my hand hits right back. Really hard. I can't help it". Boy, that kid backed right up. This was many years ago and the way things are now an adult probably couldn't say that. But I thought it was brilliant Sometimes the only thing that works is for a kid to hit the WRONG PERSON. It's amazing how effective that can be..
Linda C I totally agree with you
Linda C lol I love that. Yup true!
except I want to teach my child how to handle her emotions without violence.
@@teachthroughlove I knew a kid who stole a bike. His dad beat him He never stole again. I knew kids that grew up where the parents were too easy going in discipline, At school they were way out of line. Honestly some of these kids deserve a good beating. I think psychology today over babies . people are allot more resilient and tougher. Honestly kids should get hit more to stay in line. Maybe we would have better behave kids .
@grievance takashil If you dont like it, move along. Your trolling and calling names shows a lot about you.
Thanks a lot for this video. It will help me a lot to get my son learn how to better control his behaviour.....
Thank you! just came across your vid. immediately subacribed. very helpful tips and advice
Thank you so much! I'm a first-time mom with no one to help. My toddler keeps hitting me. I would give him time out, but it only helps for a short while. I would tell him hands are not for hitting and it hurts when he hits. Now I see what I have to do. God bless you!
How did it go?
@@poolboyinla He is 5 now and is such a well-rounded emotionally balanced child now.
Lol that screeching sound blew my eardrums haha it was so funny. Perfect example of how it really feels !!
Thank you for this- my three year old has been hitting, biting etc for months and months now, I will try your advice
How did it go?
@@poolboyinla hello my son is almost 5 now and all the hitting etc has stopped. He has difficulty sometimes transitioning i.e leaving playdates but calms down pretty quick after. I found doing the positive parenting (although very hard staying patient and calm at times ) has done wonders for him . Lots of connection and bonding, quality time each day etc , no punishing/timeouts has all helped. Are you in same situation?
How do we manage hitting that appears to come from know where? I am having trouble finding the unmet need.
Me too. We don’t hit or tolerate that behavior so it’s not learned. However when I see his grandma (dementia and mental health conditions) do something that’s either grabbing something or accidental kicks him while he’s on floor tantruming....he looks at her like he sees a bully. It’s by accident but this is a look I recognize in my 2 yr
Awesome explanations!!! Thank you so much!
Really helpful. Confirmed how I have felt but this a great teaching to follow when self doubt appears. It also brings clarity to the approach I have been trying to achieve. Thank you!!
My 3-year-old daughter has always had and still has tantrum episodes every single day. It’s humiliating. Bedtime is so stressful EVERY DAY! And this is not the only time she is out of control. I have tried it all; routine, stories, positive reinforcement, games, etc., still, nothing works. We can't figure it out...we would appreciate your input... I'm all ears!!! Thanks!!!
Thank you for this my now 20 month old started hitting about 2 months back and its getting worse I can see I've been dealing with it the wrong way
I have a hit a wall with my 26 month old with hitting, kicking with diaper changes and pulling my hair. Let's just say this has been going on for 18 months and my temper has broken. Yesterday we were reading and spending time together and he turned around and open handed slapped me across the face. Hard. Today he ripped out a handful of hair while eating outside for a picnic. No exaggeration. I am trying so hard to get back to being happy with my son, but the behavior is making me not like being a mom or him very much. Boy oh boy have we tried everything including your suggestions-having him help, giving him choices etc. Saying I won't let you hit me gets a laugh. Sometimes I have to straddle him to get a diaper on and yes, we do use pull ups when possible but that is not always the case. I cannot wait for potty training. I feel so broken and beat down figuratively and literally.
Carol Beard I wish it has improved. It has only gotten worse. This week has had me in tears. I am 6 months pregnant and today he kicked me in the stomach. So yeah, just barely making it. Never hits anyone else. Yes a lot of times it is for attention but he needs 100% attention all of the time or you can guarantee and swift kick or and smack. I do my best to keep him occupied and I am trying to find a preschool we can afford as he needs others to help him learn social skills. He is developmentally fine, temperamentally has always been a challenge from birth. Sweet smart kid somedays and other truly a devil. He is really thoughtful and well behaved outside of the home. You would never guess how he acts behind closed doors.
Team Queen’ s Fearn Tucker and Bentley Forever Every child potty trains at their own pace. Some days he will use the toilet, others not. I am not pushing it.
Ace Davis You’re not alone girl my about to be 3 year old son is wild, angry, aggressive, violent and to top it off in the 99th percentile for size so I’m getting beat up by a kid the size of a 5-6 year old!!! I just had another baby as well and my son kicked/hit my tummy too! I ended up having to hide a lot in my bedroom while his father took after him more. I have to be insanely careful with him around my now 4 month old daughter!! I’ve found leaving him alone when he starts doing these things until he calms down helps, let him cry it out a bit and wear himself out then try a regroup!
I know this might sound crazy, but there's a thing called "Yelling", you should try it. But all jokes aside, try yelling at him in a loud and clear voice, that might work.
Kyle Crane It doesn’t, they just yell louder.
Just what I needed to hear.
Thank You
Is that sarcasm or genuine?
So refreshing to watch this, thank you for great advice!
Thank you 😊
I tried to do this with my 2 year old when I tried to tell her "I know your frustrated...." she threw herself on the floor and broke my necklace.
Kayla Pickel Lmao I'm sorry it's funny because my 1 year old does the same
Something I tried with my niece when she hit me was saying No hitting... Just kissing. And then kissing her loads. She calmed down right off the bat and started to giggle. I guess that kinda taught her to turn the negative into positive.
The facts are that a two year old prefrontal cortex is underdeveloped. They cannot regulate their emotions. By telling them off so vigorously, you will only be adding to their negative emotional state. It's your job to show them how to regulate their emotions. How to have negative emotions and deal with them proactively.
actual image of a toddler's life.
7h
Awesome video! Could you do a video with a toddler/preschooler with autism and/or developmental delays when they have tantrums. I'm thinking redirecting and the stress ball but there's so many different scenarios for this type of behaviour.
Erin I am not an autism specialist (except growing up with undiagnosed Aspergers) but a relational approach workds for ALL kids... kids on the spectrum may have other sensory issues (there is a video for that here) or longer learning curves (less ability to self-regulate alone, more anxiety etc) but the approach would be the same. :)
***** Thanks. I work with a boy in my class who may have undiagnosed autism and when he's over-stimulated or there are too many children playing around him he moans and cries. He likes playing alone. The busier the environment, the worse it gets.
a
Great advice
I'm a single mom with little to help., I have a two yr old and hes been hitting me .. . I know it's my actions but I also thought it might be his dad's house..but after watching this I realise it's me..my son is becoming so angry with me . ive put so many demands and limits on him, adding shame. I'm so scared he'll become angry, I dont know where to start. Please help me.. I love my son so much and only want him happy..and dont wany to loose the bond, like my mother did with me. I stopped trusting my mom at the age of 7-8. Cause I didnt understand .
Thank you for your help❤👍👍🙏
I have a question, I have a mom friend who has a kid around my kids age. The kids like eachother but her kid has a kid who hits. How do I speak to my kids about what to do? I don’t know what to do with that other child because it’s not my child. But I don’t want my kids to think it’s ok to be hit
Does this count for people with the mentality of a two year old as well?
You’d be suprised how caring for your toddler and care-giving for you mother in law are very similar and successful
Thanks for this video by the way.
I am going to try this. My son has been hitting my 2 year old daughter whenever she's playing with his toys. I know he knows better, because we've talked about how hitting is bad and he immediately gets this 'oh shit' look on his face after he hits her. He knows he messed up. I usually pick up my daughter and comfort her first, and then I try and talk to my son after, but he still keeps doing it.
Fantastic advices!
My 2 year old son...soon to be 3 in 2 Months... hits me when he is gotten on to ... no matter if my sister gets on to him.... he will run over to me and slap me I think he might have ADHD / autistic/ and have sensory disorder.... I would love to know your opinion
Love your advice
Hi,
Thank you so much for your ideas.. my 3 yes started nursery, he has no sibling n no age fellow in family n frienz. Its been 3rd week but he did not has friend yet, he's good with his teachers and adults but not with kids. Yesterday the teacher said he pushed a kid and And was pressing him. Today she said he was hitting n scratching bla bla.. she exaggerated but the manager of nursery said he pushes the kids.. no hitting yet. The teacher yesterday said we gave time out to him. What shoukd i do.. bcz he never hit or push any kid ever before.. but the nursery teacher are saying this.. plzz help
Thank you for this video. My daughter is 14 months old and she has began to hit very often throughout the day. She is learning to talk more and I am trying to teach her how to interact with others by saying their name to get the person's attention rather than hitting. She hits me mostly and her 5 year old brother. At times I have to give her extra space, while still staying close , but she just won't stop. Are there any more strategies I could try with a 14 month old? Thank you
How can I use this technique with a 2 year old that doesn't quite yet have the verbal skills to understand or respond to those questions and whatnot? Like, if I asked her "how can we make Daddy feel better?" after she was screaming at/hitting him, she wouldn't really be able to answer that yet. I've done something similar where I try to get her to say sorry or go give him a hug or something, and sometimes it works when it's me, but when it's her dad, she doesn't seem to want to. And now he's convinced she doesn't like/love him anymore. He has like zero experience with kids, so I've been trying to explain to him that this kind of stuff is normal for her age, but it still bothers him. And sometimes what I'm doing now works, and sometimes not so much. So I'm thinking I'm not doing this right or something.
My son is nearly 5, and has a developmental delay. He has been kicked out of 3 preschools since August, and is already hitting at this new daycare. I'm doing what I can to be proactive to help but he ONLY ever hits at preschool, and never any other time. He possibly has autism and we're working with it, but we're running out of options to nip this issue in the bud and we can't afford to have him get kicked out of another preschool. Running out of options.
Matt 😥😥😥 I feel you. My son is also like this but he is only like this at school. 😩😩
For any child with developmental needs are frustrated.. Perhaps keep showing them how to handle situations over and over again may help? My son is the same.. But he hits his sister at home too and not souch in school. Its hard
I’ve had toddlers & 5 year olds, diagnosed autistic children in my classrooms that hit. I, as the teacher, did what I could to help these students as much as possible, things such as having these students do wall push ups, help Unstack chairs, things that had them use their gross motor. During “trigger times” (such as centers, morning circle time..) my students had weighted vests or a weighted pillow placed on their laps. These things were all part of their DIET (not food diets!) and it really helped in my classrooms with the hitting.
Do you have an update. I'd quit my job and take care of him. He doesn't want to be away from you because he's too young and he's not social. If he's important to you you should change your life to help him be comfortable in this world. He needs his mommy. We humans need warm supportive, loving connection. Some more than others. I hope you can find a way to support him in the way he needs.
I am a single mother. My 4 year old had a tantrum at the train station the other day. They hit me and kicked me as hard as they could many times and bruised my legs. I told them to stop but they didn't. Many people were looking. They only calmed down when the trained arrived. I just blocked the hits and kicks which seemed to upset them more. I don't know what to do to cope with this.
My sister's 3year old doesn't hit, but he is a rough boy. Too rough for his little sister. She's a year old. They love to play together, but how do we explain that she's too small to play the way he's used to?
This was helpful. Thank you.
I really enjoyed your video it all makes so much sense, have you made or found any good examples/scenario videos for more of a visual to show what to do in these situations? such as when the child is hitting out of anger/frustration, mad and throwing toys when a toy isn't working, or the child is yelling and saying 'no' when defiant about things they don't want to do....
lucky lissa over 100 videos + classes and language samples with different examples - poke around the website. www.teach-through-love.com
Lori, I gave you a shout-out in this video - ua-cam.com/video/Uny7obNleVk/v-deo.html Love what you're doing, keep up the great work! DrPaul
I came to this video because I just started working with 2 year olds at a daycare and this one boy has a major hitting problem. If another kid gets anywhere near him he gets this mischievous look in his eyes and hits them, sometimes even hitting them in the head with big toy trucks. I can tell that the usual response to this has been to yell and give him time out. I want to try a new approach and show some empathy but it's hard because 1. Even when I try to get on his level and talk to him he doesn't look at me or listen and 2. I don't want to overstep my boundaries as a teaching assistant. :/
You mentioned shadow kits for hitting or biting. Where can I get more information about these shadow kits? I found the communication cards on your website and ordered them because I found them to be invaluable. But where can I get more info on impulse control you spoke of with hitting or biting?
Hi Ashleigh, thanks so much for watching and ordering my cards! In this video I actually said, "shadow kids" meaning - you follow them closely while they're struggling with behaviors. Young kids need an adult to sometimes help them stop their behavior because of the lack of impulse control - so "shadowing" them allows us to be close enough to be a physical boundary when necessary :)
Thxs for this advice
I need help. My soon to be 5 year old got written up at preschool today for hitting and calling the teacher stupid . I’m blown away . He is a very sweet boy but does have tantrums and if pushed too much he does hit . I’ve told the teacher that when he acts up and throws a tantrum at home I tell him “I don’t like the way your acting so go to your room and count to 20 and come out when your calm “ and I leave him alone . He then comes out calmly and apologizes to me . I guess at school she removes him from the situation by picking him up and at that point and time he gets angrier and hits her. I need to get to the bottom of this and change things around . We have already gotten threatened with getting kicked out of preschool. She wants a conference meeting ASAP . I need advice . Thank you in advance.
I think your son has hit the nail on the head. That teacher does seem a bit stupid.
I like this video, but the extra-scary sound that you added startled me.
Ahahaha
not sure I agree with this but its difficult to agree or disagree when there's no sources or citations
These are great for verbally abled children. Perhaps one of the most difficult things is what to do when your child has a verbal comprehension problem. My little guy is 3.5 and keeps kicking and hitting and being rough with other children, adults, and animals. He does it on purpose to annoy others as well as when in primitive fight/flight/flee brain. He has sensory issues and low registry of pressure in his body. What would you recommend for a child like this?
You have to teach him key words and teach him to use them, my son had issues talking and pronouncing words and was hitting a lot his friends, sister, adults...I emphased some specific words as : leave me alone, stop it etc. and he started talking and coming to me rather than hitting
Kelly Waggoner
im following my son has the issues and he is so naughty and has real bad temper
Toddlers do not outgrow poor coping mechanisms- they need to be taught by modeling. Sooooo important. ❤ Children will never do what we say; they will only ultimately do what we do.
What if it's other kids hitting your kid, and the parents see it and do absolutely nothing? And it's all within the same family and household?
Great tips! My toddler is this state of anger any tome she gets hurt or someone tells her “no,” she immediately hits or throws toys. Also, she’s teething so I noticed she randomly will pinch/ hit me because she’s in pain, I know now to ask if her gums hurt and she points to her mouth in frustration.
Its very informative. If the quality of recorder is better, it would be easier for a English as second Lagrange speaker like me. The sound seem to have echoes.
Where can I get a copy of the TESCH method that you showed in the video
Thnx for the video
Been trying to apply it but it is really frustrating when it is taking an hour or two. My kid won't even let me near him when he's having big emotions. He would run,look for his sibling and hurt him. Then smile once the other kid is hurt. It is saddening.
My toddler is 3 1/2 though. She'll be 4 in February and she is very nice with other kids so far but with us at home she's so rough. She is always wanting to play "bad guys" and this got her ramped up tonight and when we were done playing she was next to her dad as I got dinner cleaned up and she just bites daddy hard out of nowhere. Idk why she's doing this but I can't get her to get past this embarrassed feeling afterwards to say sorry. You can tell she gets embarrassed but she doesn't truly seem regretful. How can I get her to understand that this hurts and is not okay? I'm just afraid that it will work it's way into school somehow. She seems so sweet and shy at school but at home.. whew, watch out.
Thank you so much
What do you do when your 2 and a half year old smacks you without reason? Like out of nowhere? Mine does both when he is frustrated and just because....I have tried hugging him but he is all over the place, I've tried talking to him calmly then he just screams & smacks me again. I am at a loss...
Hi Victorious - join us over in our Facebook community for more ideas - but 2 year olds don't have impulse control - so he's not doing it with a malicious intent. Their brains aren't yet developed - so they get physical because they are frustrated and don't have the ability to control how they feel yet. You set the limit while also being the physical boundary.
MY 2 YEAR OLD HITS ALL THE TIME. no frustration or anger. wakes up, walks around the house and slaps me, his dad, his aunt that lives with us, the dog etc. no triggers. i get on his level and say "no hitting" i get nothing. he just walks away. a solid year and 1 month of this. how does empathy help? idk what he's feeling. he isnt showing any emotion except enjoyment. i've tried ignoring him and not giving him a reaction. he'll continue to hit until i'm bruised
kat c Hi Kat. Going through same situation. Did any tactic work for you?
No the best way when they are under 3 is to ignore their bad behaviour, only tell them off once , take them out of the situation, and ignore them until they have calmed down, then explain why they shouldn't do what they did
i did the deep breathing and play time he just throws things he’s thrown things at my father my mom and me even my siblings i even got him coloring big pages and a small coloring book n crayons and he just gets mad i normally put my hand on his back n rub him and say just breathe but he pushes me away so i give him space n he gets angry
Would you have any suggestions on my 1.5 year old who is hitting everything/one? For some reason, he particularly likes to hit the 70 lb dog. He doesn't know the difference between a pat and a hit. Sometimes it's in anger, sometimes it's in fun. In this instance, how do we correct the "fun"?
Hi Sarah, Check out my playlist for toddlers and preschoolers. You won't get "obedience" at this age because an 18 month old can't control their impulses yet. I also have a video about when kids hit the pets you can check out!
How do you handle a conversation with a parent who's child (older Boy toddler) pushes my younger toddler (girl)? It's my brother in law's lady, and I've witnessed the boy push my daughter or hit my other son, and the mom just laughs and says no. How would you handle it?
Loved your video!
What to do when a child hits and throw things even when he is not frustrated or upset?
Brilliant video. I feel like she was talking about my house lol Thanks for the input 👍
plz help me. my elder son was very
much obedient, calm at the age of his first 2 yrs. but after that I become pregnant. I couldn't give him proper time. Now he is too much stuborn, always screaming, even hitting his lil bro sometimes. what can I do? only he acts very gently if he get anyone who is at his age.
I have this problem as well. I have tried everything. I have tried just what you said here. She hits when she can't have it her way. She almost never listen to me at all. She does things she's not allowed to till I loose my calm and she finally gets her negative reaction that she wants, I don't know.
It's hard but children aren't looking for negative reactions. If they're still struggling, it means that they're dysregulated and internally cannot handle what is happening. If we can't maintain composure, we need to find support. Kids who don't listen might be struggling with your relationship or with internal stress they can speak about. Age matters - young kids need us to help them stop and getting mad at aggression will only increase the aggression. Try my free conscious parenting academy for more tips. It can get better.
Our 7 month old hits slaps bites and scratches AND KICKS
....its not out of frustration he does it for kicks but It hurts like heck he will catch us of gaurd somtimes and open hand slap,or bites .When we say stop or no no no ,he laughs about it and does it MORE! HELP HELP HELP
are you serious? 7 months old.......
Aquila's View, my LO started doing the same around that age too, she's 15 months now. I learned some tips that have definitely slowed down how much she does it. She only does it when she's tired now but, these things take time!
I'm a 28 year old single mother. My fiancée died almost 4 years ago while I was 6 months pregnant with our son. Playing the mother, and, "father" roll is extra hard on me. Do you have anything about single parents on their own and how to disaplin a toddler? :/ My son who defines me very much, is now hitting kids in his daycare/Preschool. I'm worried he might become a bully to other kids, to anyone and I'm pulling my hair out not knowing what to do anymore. Hopefully you have something for single parents? :/
Omg, my 8 month old niece does the same thing. She finds it hilarious. Yes, it hurts and is done when you least expect it. I have gotten to the point of automatically telling her NO as soon as I hold her. She listens and obey only when I show her I'm aware what her intentions are. I HOPE SHE GROWS OUT OF THIS STAGE.
My grandchild does this. He is now 10.5 months. It started at 6-7 months. He seems to enjoy it and it worries me because my children never did this and if they did, I told them NO and that it hurt and they wouldn't do it again. I'm going to go to the Dr with them at his 1 year appt, if he's still doing it, and see if it's normal. If he didn't seem to enjoy it, it wouldn't bother me so much. He does it hard and repeatedly...if your face is in proximity, you are going to get hit, no matter who you are. Otherwise, he is a good baby. Did your child ever stop doing it?
My child is 18 month and he started to hit when i tell him no for hurting himslef, or even when we were in the airport he want to go to a diffrent way from us, and when i hold him he hit me and even scratch me.
I tried to sit down with him and tell him NO in a deep tone and holding his hands and say " hands are not for hitting".
Its not working for me, can you plz help me?!!
Omg this is amazing! I have been struggling with my 2&1/2 year old recently with the same habits, I didn't know what to do because I felt I had tried all obvious solutions. But when you explain it from a physiologic/scientific perspective I can understand the true workings of what why how when these things are happening. Thank you
My son 2 n half year old when some kids come my home my son is hitting and punching and I fell so much embarrassment on that's time plz give me some suggestions plz plz
thank you, I liked what you had to say!
it acshully work she is so disamplent now thanks!
I use positive validation and empathy, but my child is as unruly as ever. We have an Emotions chart and try to discern his emotions but he's still biting occasionally. 😢
Thank you very much. That was very helpful because my son hits a child that doesn't like sharing but my son does like to take his toys from my son because they are not my sons. I know he wants to play with the child but hitting is not right so I am trying to help him from doing that. Also do I teach my son not to share with that child because he does not share with my son? Thank you.
annette - thank you for watching. sharing is a developmental skill that comes with maturity! hang in there :)
Thank you! :)
Please help me! My son will be 2 in February. I am experiencing behavior issues with him. He is a happy baby when he gets what he wants but as soon as he doesn't he will start hitting and will bite. At times he will cause himself pain. I've tried every method of discipline possible and nothing seams to work. It has gotten so bad that no daycare wants him and I have avoided going out to public with him. He wants to destroy all his toys and objects. He yells and screams at me when he is mad. I have seriously tried everything. I have went to counselor and pastors and asked for help. Nothing they have said has worked for my child. NOTHING at ALL!!
Hi Ryana, The first 5 years can be difficult The reason you may not be seeing "improvement" is because your child is too small to "behave" in the ways you are describing. Hitting is quite normal and a typical reaction for a toddler. It will take several years for him to be able to manage his impulses. His brain is not that mature yet. It takes an emotionally aware adult to repeatedly respond with empathy - holding boundaries when kids emotions overtake them.
Ryana Mcie As a fellow Mama, i really wanna send you a big hug and loads of love. Really hear how painful it is for you and exhausting, how disappointing you are not getting the support you need from daycare etc. And i hear how your little boy is struggling. No matter how he is acting, hold it in mind and heart that he is a beautiful good kid inside always, he is just really struggling with development and transitions, and he will come through it!!!! My immediate response to share is to make sure he doesn't have sugars and additives in his foods, making sure that he doesn't get too much stimulation with noise,people, tv etc, make sure he has regular snacks & water/milk/etc, stay true to your routines, regular bed times, meal times, snack times, play and quiet, cuddle times. I would email Lori personally i am sure she can help you!!!! Discipline at this age can create more frustration and anger as they are just too young to understand right wrong, they just need loads of love and support with the huge often scary feelings they experience as the world opens up. Altho of course you want to set clear limits and boundaries, in my experience it works best through love, empathy, really listening to their feelings, finding a way to tolerate and accept their crying, outbursts, anger, when they don't get what they want, and as kindly as you can hold those boundaries with love. It won't last for ever its just a stage of development. Main thing is getting support for yourself so you get time to let off steam, have a cry, go for a run, get out all the frustration that can build up as a tired, exhausted Mama, who is doing your best....wishing you all the best Ryana.