I definitely relate to this so much. I'd rather be with someone I can see myself being with for a long time than to just be with someone who only wants me for one night. Keep doing you bud :)
The flesh is never satisfied.. Its the soul and spirit that seeks wholeness.. You are correct in your hypothesis.. Your spirit deserves so much more.. With love 💘 my dear..
@@RaifDerrazi No problem my dear.. Please take me up on my offer to show you how to become free of hiv without pharmaceutical drugs.. If you choose to continue pharmaceutical drug therapies it will not be out of desperation or complete necessity... Plus I can show you how to avoid and prevent opportunistic infections and diseases such as fungal infections and cancers .. You will be bullet proof against these illnesses and it will shock and amaze you what I have to show you.. I've studied the natural methods of curing diseases for almost 30 years and have treated people of many illnesses with success.. I love my people and wish to share what I have learned with them.. 💘
This motivates me bcz lately i broke up with my bf and i decided to focus on my studies first and leave alone about sex. Its now 8 months without sex and i love it.
Im so inspired with all of your videos. Im a posible HVI+ at the age of 29yrs old. Its really devastating in my part and from my home country. Thank you for inspiring me to move on and look at the brighter future.
Totally respecting your choice, but I don't see the connection between loving a person and being a person of Jesus..Why to sacrifice a choice over another another if you could have the 2 in harmony with each other? I am sure that if you asked Jesus, he would love for you to have someone while believing in him.
Yes. It takes thoughts to please yourself and thoughts are usually composed of you with someone else. Jesus said if you think about lust then you've committed the act of sex.
@VinnieVince_QC It's all relative but that's not really the point...just about listening to yourself and acting in alignment with what you think and how you feel
Hey , I have been battling in recovery of sex and love addiction for a little over a year now. And honestly I really needed to hear your words in this video. Thank you so much❤
You hit everything spot on !! Most of the time a hookup is simply, " I want to feel like I matter, even for this short time" !! Congrats on your celibacy also. You're looking extremly fit, as always ☺☺ !
Almost 7 months for me..Was diagnosed with AIDS in August 2022..and with this diagnosis it was R.I.P scx. I feel that getting involved with scx was wrong for me personally..not to mention that I came very close to losing my life due to scx...
I understand and I get where you’re at because I am there too. I would like to have that person in my life that I can feel understands me. I am not doing the hook ups either. I am tired of it, but I miss the elements of human touch and kindness, I miss just being held being intimate in a non-sexual way. I just want to lie down and be held and cuddle. I grew up in a loving home which nurtured my emotional side. I also am a hopeless romantic and went through what you are describing where you miss the the touch just the holding the kindness, the love without the necessity of sex. So I want to say I’m happy that you have found someone to share that with ! It’s so hard now to let my guard down to trust someone else since I have been hurt many times in the past and I feel that I need to spend more time on myself also. I have been doing celibacy for three years, but I miss the touch of someone and being able to hold someone with out it turning into sex. So as a gay man I get it ..! So we sell ourselves out for a little human touch and end up feeling worse than before.. so again I am happy for you and I hope that you take it slow and get the compassion and kindness that you deserve. I have not been taking enough time for myself and I need to work on me, so thank you for being so honest and upfront with your feelings, it was what I needed to hear at a difficult time in my life..I feel like you have seen into my heart and are giving me the words to my feelings.. Thank You !
What can i say buddy you always know the perfect word to say. I have been in that same boat to the point that i started to hate any form of sex. Thank you so much for sharing this part of your life. I can see that inner happiness in you shine so bright. And so happy you have found that person that will cherish the real you !! I will definitely take that wonderful advice that you always share with us. And keep shining!!
wow thanks - “living in alignment w who you want to be “ - celibate here for ten years - i want to say it gets easier and in a way it does but the lack of intimacy will take a toll - like keeping a plant watered and fed, but it yearns for light - still better than the other option - you remind me of myself at your age - best of luck
James Hose Thanks James! Well shit, it better not be that long for me lol I’m gonna have to reel me in someone quality long before then. This plant needs some major sunlight haha
Great articulation of what most of us went through. I spent most of my 20's and 30's celibate because I never wanted just a hook up and assumed all other guys wanted only that...lol
I stumbled into your channel on your chin implant video since I just got mine done and realized we have quite a bit in common. You got a new subscriber! Please keep the videos coming!
Agree with you ..agree with this video entirely in all that you talked about..i watched it 5 yrs late but i guess there is a time for everything. I feel like right now at this very moment is when i really wanted to hear what you had to say!
Gammora HIV cure can only be ordered from Haifa Israel or our breach in East Africa KENYA that HUB in Africa. To place your order kindly call or WhatsApp +12055788294 this (if in Africa) or email kelvinmorgan020@gmail.com you can also well send US massage through inbox
You are so right. I have met someone and he has changed me whole view point. You don't need sex. We just cuddle and kiss and go out to places for example. I have potentially exposed myself HIV but hopefully the test results will be negative. Watching your video is inspiring. Keep going dude xx
I definitely understand the emptiness part. Felt that for years now. I rarely ever have sex and I don't even use the apps. But it's OK you know? I got a job I spend a lot of overtime on, I have my plants that I care for, I love to bike and do photography, and porn is there. So I'm OK. I'm lonely, would really love a man, but I'm OK. Besides, I really need to work on me.
Hi Raif, I completely understand where you coming from. I very much am a hopeless romantic. Sometimes I wonder if that’s what caused my issues. The gay community isn’t what I planned. I have been in 2 two relationships and both of my ex’s cheated on me. I fell really hard for my ex. To the point where I’m questioning my sanity and if I should just give up altogether. I’ve never believed in hook ups. And so many people keep telling me I’m stuck up and I take life way too serious. So I’d like to applaud you, because you are the first guy I’ve met that actually believes in the same values as I do.
It's kind of a chicken and egg scenario determining whether heart ache or our self-worth caused the other hehe...but either way, I think it's important to get back to basics, listen to your heart and just start living your life the way you want and make sure to honor you heart
Hi, I hope you keep posting on your vlog. I just recently been diagnosed with hiv +ve. And your videos among those who helps me to cope with my situation.
Hey buddy! Absolutely I will keep posting. Thanks for reminding me that these vlogs are appreciated and doing some good! I just posted a new vlog actually about getting ready for my competition the was this past Saturday, May 12t where I placed 3rd ;) Hoping to go back and land that 1st place finish tho!
This was well spoken and really well articulated. You have a talent - that many don’t. The ability to express yourself, truthfully and share your story. Well done, amigo.
I can totally relate to celibacy until the right person comes along, and it feels fantastic and empowering. I did the same by exchanging sex for intimacy for much longer than I should have and also came to the realization that is wasn't enough, thanks for raising awareness.
I can completely relate to this. This is so true, gay culture emphasis on sex. I'm actually attempting to stay away from sex; stopped using dating apps, decided to work on myself- health and career. Thank you for this inspiring video. Made me realise that random hook up is not what I want in life, but more.
Completly new to your channel and I must say, thank you for this message I kinda had to put a mirror to myself in regards to this. I have been sex free for 4 months and I never really thought expect I kept saying I'm not looking for anybody but the truth is I cant find somebody that shares equal values in mutual respect for one another and I think of them as a partner instead of a sexy guy that I smashed and passed. I appreciate the video and i will subscribe
You're so on point with this vlog... there's no intimacy in both gay and straight sex... especially in the gay community tho... I haven't had sex in over five years and just working on me.
If you were in Hawai’i I’d definitely ask you out. Hehe. I’ve been watching your videos all day and I think you’re such a sweet guy and that’s always MOST important to me...’cause looks are great, but they fade, and I’ve been saying that since I was in my 20’s. I’m gonna be 50 in a few years so more so I realize that looks aren’t everything. I hope you find happiness ‘cause you deserve it. 😍🏳️🌈🤙🏽
I'm a gay man and it's been 7 yes for me. I'm attractive and get hit on all the time by girls and guys. I don't hookup for all the same reason you do. I value relationships and find it difficult to find committed men. They all want sex sex sex. I tell them to move on
I'm glad we're on the same page...I've been surprised how many people feel the same way...and knowing that a lot of other people are committing to the same principles makes it easier for me too!
Raif, I found you by accident and am a new subscriber I plan to view all your videos with thumbs up! I also believe my son is gay but he won't admit it...he is 38 and he did tell me he had sex with men but he is not gay? I thought he was since he was 12....I have tons of gay friends so he knows I love gay people men & women I worked on the Aids quilt since the first panel. I met Sue Craves her sons panel was the first. I have done 100's of Aids walks and help for free...it's not a gay disease it's everyone's disease. Love you 🍑😍💜🧡💛💚💙👇
Princess Peach So true and thank u for sharing your story with me and everyone! Your son is a lucky guy to have someone like you who is so loving and supportive, regardless of how he may choose to identify himself. I guess the terminology is not so important, so long as he knows you support him and love who he is. Thank you for your support with my channel! I’m really just getting started this past year and I have so many aspirations for it from here on out 😌🙏🏽🙌🏽♥️🤙🏽
I wish more people would be honest like this about their status then this would limit the spread of HIV...this couldn't be in Jamaica, people would bash you to death! They scorn people with HIV 😢
Thank you !!!, I really feel the same, actually I´m done with the hook up thing, right now I feel very very empty and I think is time for me to change and adjust my life. I really appreciate how you share your life and thoughts, you are a great guy!!
@Allan Guzman Yea man! And it's not a static unchanging type of thing...just follow your heart and what your gut is telling you and it will evolve with time ;)
Such a nice video , such a nice topic , i feel like lots of people in lgbt community have the same experience , i am a trans woman and way before even starting my transition i got into a relationship, the end result was that i needed love , i gave everything but ... Now i feel stupid and worthless.
Thanks for sharing! Often times we GIVE everything to a person who doesn’t deserve it or doesn’t necessarily want it. What we really need is to give that love to our ourSELVES. We deserve it. We need it. And when we have it. We don’t look for someone else to fill that void. That has been my biggest lesson ❤️❤️❤️ chin up mama! You got this 🙏🏽
Been crazy trying to hook into the community again. Nothing that interested me before makes sense: apps, hookups, chats and pics... I am waiting for that one person to say something I want to hear, and then pray to all that be that I can reply with something that they have been waiting for. Hookups did it for me when I was younger - it meant great, they all want me, I am hot and bla bla bla. Acceptance. That's what I wanted. Now I crave intimacy and the app messages I do get go unanswered cause I'm not hearing the things I wanna hear. You did this fabulously and in such an authentic way that I salute you. Once you accept yourself, the space you allow for people to be intimately near you becomes so sensitive that only someone special can get in there. Awesome video and just do you as you are doing it. You find words for thoughts we battle with.
Yes, exactly brother! You summed that up well 😁 So glad you're getting something out of these vids...too often I doubt whether they're worth the effort but the more I do them and the more supportive feedback I get, the less influence those thoughts have 😉
I disagree that there aren’t romantic role models in the gay community and their not being very visual. I am HIV positive and have focused in seeing just that. I missed so much because I didn’t open my eyes before. Now it’s too late for me. Marriage equality came and I knew I could never have that. I actually became angry at myself and at life. Still am that I can’t forgive myself for being so wreckless about choices I made. No one’s fault but my own. Now I pay for the rest of my life. I don’t like telling people I’m positive so I don’t get involved with sex relationships. As a result, I haven’t had sex for more than ten years. I’m masculine and good looking. So I get hit on a lot. But not wanting to come as full disclosure, I run from it. It makes me feel good to a point that I don’t have that drama to deal with. But it’s also very lonely. Friends, what few I allow, says I should give it a go. My conscious says I can’t deal with it. I have watch many gay UA-cam videos mostly to make bad feelings go away. Yesterday, I found your videos and confused about if I want to watch them. The subject matter makes me sad. But, still intrigued about you putting yourself out their like this. So now, I have to decide if I can learn something from this, or will I be able to handle this. I’ll see as I watch in the coming days. But for you, thank you, I guess, for forcing me to face what I refused to face for so many years by uploading your videos. But what I have found most in this world. Especially in the gay community. Is that love IS conditional. Look at you, for instance. You obviously work out and you obviously look great. Without that, you might not have that opportunity for love. I am not unfit but I don’t workout. I don’t look as good as you, so my options are limited. Sure, we all hear, there’s someone for everyone. I just refuse to chase that or definitely not wait for that. At 34, it hasn’t walked into my life and I don’t expect it to. I did think it MIGHT happen once. But after so long and it not happening, I no longer wait. I fear that I expect the worst for myself. Opportunity is so limited and I can’t work to make that conditional measurement to a point that I simply don’t care. That, quite frankly, scares me. And I’m sick of therapy telling me otherwise.
Calvin Davis I think you said it best when you commented ‘I have to decide if I can learn something from this...’ I think you touched on something very true and profound; it’s a decision that you make. A choice. Will I choose to learn and grow? Or will I choose to put it off and remain stagnant. I DO hope you choose to learn and to allow yourself to grow; you are the gatekeeper to your own expansion...and I hope you unlock the gate and open it so that you can pass through and begin to enjoy the next phase of life. The opportunities are definitely out there...but I think it’s disadvantageous to yourself to expect that person to come to you or to walk into your life, especially when you don’t believe in him, necessarily. I say, you do you. Focus on your life and making yourself happy and becoming a better person...all the while knowing that there is the right person for you out there. And so long as you are chasing after that thing that gives your life meaning and happiness...there is someone else doing the same...and by the laws of the universe, when the time is right, your paths will align.
I feel attacked, didn't have to call me out like that! LOL JK he's totally right in everything he said! When I was hooking up, i knew I wanted a little bit of intimacy because I was lonely and desperate. And hooking up was what I thought I could get a little of it. Even afterwards I wouldn't feel good about it, just like he said! Because when you're single and lonely you think hooking up will make you feel better...But now It's different I know what I want and I value myself more.
I’ve been in spaces where other gay men have mocked me for not hooking up, going as far as calling me a “weirdo” lol. That’s another thing people never talk about, if you “slut shame” someone, people will come down on you like a raging storm (rightfully so), however it seems to be ok to shame men that aren’t sleeping with anything that moves. If you are a man in this world, gay or straight, and you’re not having frequent sex people look at you like you’re defected. I’m a hopeless romantic though so I’d rather wait and be a “weirdo” until it feels right lol. Thanks for the video, best wishes to you
Hi Raif, every single word you said was true. I was diagnosed with HIV a couple of months ago and it was truly not easy to face the reality. I hope to see more videos of yours. It somehow helps me cope and be a better version. Continue to share more videos 🙏🙏🙏 God bless you!
Raif ,Im a straight woman and I understand completely ive known female friends who got used over and over by men but they couldnt see they were also useing these men for intamacey . They were starving for the attention the touch and all that came with it .You are very mature for your age and have trmendous self esteem conpaired to alot of pepole around your age that ive known and know
Thank you for your words. I'm at the point of my life now where I am realizing that I need to respect my body and save it for someone special. Idk but in these moments I am also realizing that there is more to life than hooking up. Live, connect and love.
Raif, please right a book! I totally understand what you’re saying. Beyond the hooking up, though, I notice gay friends taking about their hookups. I live in Kansas City, MO, which is a small town compared to large cities. It doesn’t take long for word to get around. Anyway, great video and thanks for sharing!
Wow Raif...good to hear from you again. Thanks for sharing from your thoughts...you have a lot of wisdom in what you shared. Raif...I loved what you said about our bodies being precious...so true. Although I've not been that sexually active , that desire to be held...touched...is real for me. Many blessings to you Raif...and know you are appreciated.
A lot of people experience the same feelings etc...but a lot of people I know handle it differently and aren’t always acting in alignment with their values, what they think and what they want for themselves...which is the bummer, I think
Raif.....you are so cute. Thanks for sharing. Great inspiration and insight. Oh how i miss the intimacy i use to have with my ex. Didn’t last more than 3 years but its worth it. We are still friends. So stay true to you and you will attract that person to you in time. 💖
Hi raif. I hope you still remember me (that guy coming out to be pos). I would just like to give comment on your being hopeless romantic. You’re such a nice guy that people tend to cheat on you on purpose. They cant accept the fact that their fantasies on you (as bed partner) is not real, they want just fun and play. You’re a perfect boyfriend material guy and a lifelong partner. Love from the philippines.
Thank you so much for the love, my friend. I'll never let go of my truth and what I'm looking for in a life long partner. Always stay true to yourself despite others who may cause you harm or not have your best interest at heart. Much love to you too!
Hey Raif.. Firstly a big hello from the Netherlands and thank you very much for sharing this awesome topic.. I do believe everyone has someone special in their life and yes nothing wrong testing the water one's in a while to see if He or She is the one. Very uplifting and spiritual my friend.. Thank you one's again and have a wonderful weekend.. Friendly regards Emmanuel 😇✌💞
emmanuelandi Daag! From my home country! I was born in Utrecht 😉 I don’t speak much Dutch tho, came here when I was barely 5 years old. Glad you’re enjoying the vlogs! And thanks for the support
Dearest Raif , Thank you very much for the reply.. It's a small world after all , I moved to the Netherlands 12 years ago so I don't really speak the language that fluently it's also one of the most difficult language in the world..😁 Anyhow it's my pleasure supporting your Vlog course it's honest and so much of individual related subjects , Thank you one's again my friend and keep up the good spirit and take care.. Emmanuel 😇💞✌
Again i admire you and your values as a person. Ones Orientation does not define who they are as a human being. We are all people and should be respected. Keep the videos coming.
I’m happy you encountered this truth which is the same for everyone; respect and own your body and health. You shed light on a very hard topic for the gay community when it comes to intimacy and sex. Bless you.
Absolutely 100% it's not an easy path...it's so tempting to just get some instant gratification...but the reward for valuing your body and health above all else is much, much greater than the instant benefit of hooking up etc
I'm a gay female..the issues with lesbians is that they want you to move in after the 2nd date..U-Haul relationships lol. But it's so superficial. I went more than 2 years without sex looking for someone who stimulated my mind not just my lust. Also I wanted to stay away from females looking for these U-Haul relationships. Sadly I thought I found the right person after waiting but was wrong!!!! However I don't regret it cause during that time I got to know myself and when I finally found my spouse I was truly ready for a real relationship because I was not afraid of being alone anymore..I wanted to be with someone because I wanted to be there.
Thank you Raif you made me truly believe in true love and that's so hard too find now a days because it has too come from are selfs we need to love are selfs and respect are self dignity and are moral s in life your so sweet Ralf bless your heart 👼👍👍🙏
It's sad that most of the guys I've met on Grindr just wanna get into my pants. I haven't logged onto any apps for months and I too have not had sex for a long time, but it doesn't really bother me. I just work, gym and get busy. Sigh.... : (
Thank you. Thank you. !!!!!! Every thing you say in this vid is spot on. I have felt the same as you are discussing (for a bit longer lol) but I have not been able to find the words. Sex should be intimate and special for people like us I hope you find someone who can understand what you feel and respect you and your wishes. All my best to you and thank you for expressing the words
Well, I am not having sex since March 2019 since I had my HIV+ status. I am now looking for an Asexual relationship. Kind of scared, if u know what I mean.
@@thefifthstage369 well, basically a relationship without sex (penetration) and it may or may not have preliminaries (it depends on which stage is the person on his/hers asexual level) if you know what I mean.
sex is special even though ur a young man in ur20s with hormones.hon,with age ,wisdom will come with age .Raif,u deal and work with it.Raif keep ur head and continue ur path in this life .forget about the dating and just keep urself busy .with college,family and friends.just be you.grinder and all the other hook up sites are a hot mess .be true to urself.keep urself grounded and humble.that special relationship will happen. .
such a inspiring and honest video. I am someone who think the same like you. Want to find true love and keep it special. I Relate to this so much. Thank you so much for this Video.
Nice thoughts raif. I feel you... hope theres someone like you i could find ... or better yet wait for love, it will still find me, dont look for it, love myself first... God bless raif
Gammora HIV cure can only be ordered from Haifa Israel or our breach in East Africa KENYA that HUB in Africa. To place your order kindly call or WhatsApp +12055788294 this (if in Africa) or email kelvinmorgan020@gmail.com you can also well send US massage through inbox
I definitely relate to this so much. I'd rather be with someone I can see myself being with for a long time than to just be with someone who only wants me for one night. Keep doing you bud :)
dbleDBLEzero YES. YES. And YES lol
Is that what you out on your Grindr profile ??😄😄
The flesh is never satisfied.. Its the soul and spirit that seeks wholeness.. You are correct in your hypothesis.. Your spirit deserves so much more.. With love 💘 my dear..
horus heru Thanks for the love and support! 😊
@@RaifDerrazi No problem my dear.. Please take me up on my offer to show you how to become free of hiv without pharmaceutical drugs.. If you choose to continue pharmaceutical drug therapies it will not be out of desperation or complete necessity... Plus I can show you how to avoid and prevent opportunistic infections and diseases such as fungal infections and cancers .. You will be bullet proof against these illnesses and it will shock and amaze you what I have to show you.. I've studied the natural methods of curing diseases for almost 30 years and have treated people of many illnesses with success.. I love my people and wish to share what I have learned with them.. 💘
This motivates me bcz lately i broke up with my bf and i decided to focus on my studies first and leave alone about sex. Its now 8 months without sex and i love it.
@hookie hookie it's just such a GREAT feeling to know that you're doing something profound for yourself and putting YOU first
Im so inspired with all of your videos. Im a posible HVI+ at the age of 29yrs old. Its really devastating in my part and from my home country. Thank you for inspiring me to move on and look at the brighter future.
You're welcome
I agree with you 100%, sex has to be something special
Oh yes and it is each time chuching
Unknown Person totally agree.
It's been over 4 years for me .. I decided to marry Jesus
Totally respecting your choice, but I don't see the connection between loving a person and being a person of Jesus..Why to sacrifice a choice over another another if you could have the 2 in harmony with each other? I am sure that if you asked Jesus, he would love for you to have someone while believing in him.
The two are incongruous save when you're married.
Does that include stopping self pleasure?
Yes. It takes thoughts to please yourself and thoughts are usually composed of you with someone else. Jesus said if you think about lust then you've committed the act of sex.
Absolutely nothing wrong with that. I'm an agnostic and sometimes I think if I became a monk, or in a monastery, maybe I would be ok.
I didn't had sex for 11 years and I'm still alive 😂 So 20 months is nothing really...
@VinnieVince_QC It's all relative but that's not really the point...just about listening to yourself and acting in alignment with what you think and how you feel
Right on ha hg a it is 15 for me....I don't miss it as much as I thought I would.😂💚
Princess Peach hehe I concur. It’s not that big a deal once u get used to it. But I’ve since broken my streak 😉
Princess Peach 15? Months? Years? lol 😝
VinnieVince_QC I’m thinking minutes 😏🕗
Thank you! You really are making a difference in the world.
@vivian jimenez Doing my best! 👊
Hey , I have been battling in recovery of sex and love addiction for a little over a year now. And honestly I really needed to hear your words in this video. Thank you so much❤
You hit everything spot on !! Most of the time a hookup is simply, " I want to feel like I matter, even for this short time" !! Congrats on your celibacy also. You're looking extremly fit, as always ☺☺ !
A Scott Thank uuuu
Almost 7 months for me..Was diagnosed with AIDS in August 2022..and with this diagnosis it was R.I.P scx.
I feel that getting involved with scx was wrong for me personally..not to mention that I came very close to losing my life due to scx...
I understand and I get where you’re at because I am there too. I would like to have that person in my life that I can feel understands me. I am not doing the hook ups either. I am tired of it, but I miss the elements of human touch and kindness, I miss just being held being intimate in a non-sexual way. I just want to lie down and be held and cuddle. I grew up in a loving home which nurtured my emotional side. I also am a hopeless romantic and went through what you are describing where you miss the the touch just the holding the kindness, the love without the necessity of sex. So I want to say I’m happy that you have found someone to share that with ! It’s so hard now to let my guard down to trust someone else since I have been hurt many times in the past and I feel that I need to spend more time on myself also. I have been doing celibacy for three years, but I miss the touch of someone and being able to hold someone with out it turning into sex. So as a gay man I get it ..! So we sell ourselves out for a little human touch and end up feeling worse than before.. so again I am happy for you and I hope that you take it slow and get the compassion and kindness that you deserve. I have not been taking enough time for myself and I need to work on me, so thank you for being so honest and upfront with your feelings, it was what I needed to hear at a difficult time in my life..I feel like you have seen into my heart and are giving me the words to my feelings.. Thank You !
What can i say buddy you always know the perfect word to say. I have been in that same boat to the point that i started to hate any form of sex. Thank you so much for sharing this part of your life. I can see that inner happiness in you shine so bright. And so happy you have found that person that will cherish the real you !! I will definitely take that wonderful advice that you always share with us. And keep shining!!
Francisco Arroyo Thank u Francisco! U always have the nicest things to say and I very much appreciate it
Classy Young man Mr Raif Derrazi omg Im so proud of you Im blowed away
@Keasha Fortune Thank uuuuuu 😊
You're welcome Mr Derrazi take care of yourself ...
wow thanks - “living in alignment w who you want to be “ - celibate here for ten years - i want to say it gets easier and in a way it does but the lack of intimacy will take a toll - like keeping a plant watered and fed, but it yearns for light - still better than the other option - you remind me of myself at your age - best of luck
James Hose Thanks James! Well shit, it better not be that long for me lol I’m gonna have to reel me in someone quality long before then. This plant needs some major sunlight haha
Great articulation of what most of us went through. I spent most of my 20's and 30's celibate because I never wanted just a hook up and assumed all other guys wanted only that...lol
RobDeManc exactly. At least u stuck to ur guns ;)
5 minutes in...pauses to go and delete grindr🤣🤣🤣...we hear you, we out here...going to patrol Whole Foods for my Prince Charming 🤾♂️🤾♂️🤾♂️
I stumbled into your channel on your chin implant video since I just got mine done and realized we have quite a bit in common. You got a new subscriber! Please keep the videos coming!
Agree with you ..agree with this video entirely in all that you talked about..i watched it 5 yrs late but i guess there is a time for everything. I feel like right now at this very moment is when i really wanted to hear what you had to say!
I’m glad I watched this 😭❤️
Stacy Oliver I’m glad u appreciate it 😌🙏🏽
❤️
Gammora HIV cure can only be ordered from Haifa Israel or our breach in East Africa KENYA that HUB in Africa.
To place your order kindly call or WhatsApp +12055788294 this (if in Africa) or email kelvinmorgan020@gmail.com you can also well send US massage through inbox
You are so right. I have met someone and he has changed me whole view point. You don't need sex. We just cuddle and kiss and go out to places for example. I have potentially exposed myself HIV but hopefully the test results will be negative. Watching your video is inspiring. Keep going dude xx
I feel like ur videos are so inspirational. Don’t stop making them. They really helped me a lot when I was going through hard times.
Tsuinami Glad to hear that, my friend. Can’t stop, won’t stop!
I definitely understand the emptiness part. Felt that for years now. I rarely ever have sex and I don't even use the apps. But it's OK you know? I got a job I spend a lot of overtime on, I have my plants that I care for, I love to bike and do photography, and porn is there. So I'm OK. I'm lonely, would really love a man, but I'm OK. Besides, I really need to work on me.
chauncy primm I definitely relate to that! I recently got a dog that I’m adopting and it was the best decision I’ve made 😉🐶
Hi Raif,
I completely understand where you coming from. I very much am a hopeless romantic. Sometimes I wonder if that’s what caused my issues. The gay community isn’t what I planned. I have been in 2 two relationships and both of my ex’s cheated on me.
I fell really hard for my ex. To the point where I’m questioning my sanity and if I should just give up altogether.
I’ve never believed in hook ups. And so many people keep telling me I’m stuck up and I take life way too serious.
So I’d like to applaud you, because you are the first guy I’ve met that actually believes in the same values as I do.
It's kind of a chicken and egg scenario determining whether heart ache or our self-worth caused the other hehe...but either way, I think it's important to get back to basics, listen to your heart and just start living your life the way you want and make sure to honor you heart
It’s been like almost two years for me. I’m just dating on and off
Yea, I'm no longer celibate but I wait until it feels right for me now
Hi, I hope you keep posting on your vlog. I just recently been diagnosed with hiv +ve. And your videos among those who helps me to cope with my situation.
Hey buddy! Absolutely I will keep posting. Thanks for reminding me that these vlogs are appreciated and doing some good! I just posted a new vlog actually about getting ready for my competition the was this past Saturday, May 12t where I placed 3rd ;) Hoping to go back and land that 1st place finish tho!
I have watched your new video. I wish you all the best with the competition! dont forget to keep us updated ya :)
This was well spoken and really well articulated. You have a talent - that many don’t. The ability to express yourself, truthfully and share your story. Well done, amigo.
Thanks so much brother. I really try to just be genuine so I’m glad that comes across. Much much more to come
I can totally relate to celibacy until the right person comes along, and it feels fantastic and empowering. I did the same by exchanging sex for intimacy for much longer than I should have and also came to the realization that is wasn't enough, thanks for raising awareness.
And thanks for sharing, my friend! 🙏
I can completely relate to this. This is so true, gay culture emphasis on sex. I'm actually attempting to stay away from sex; stopped using dating apps, decided to work on myself- health and career. Thank you for this inspiring video. Made me realise that random hook up is not what I want in life, but more.
I have gone nearly TEN years celibate for a lot of the same reasons! Hooking up can get so empty.
Completly new to your channel and I must say, thank you for this message I kinda had to put a mirror to myself in regards to this. I have been sex free for 4 months and I never really thought expect I kept saying I'm not looking for anybody but the truth is I cant find somebody that shares equal values in mutual respect for one another and I think of them as a partner instead of a sexy guy that I smashed and passed. I appreciate the video and i will subscribe
You're so on point with this vlog... there's no intimacy in both gay and straight sex... especially in the gay community tho... I haven't had sex in over five years and just working on me.
If you were in Hawai’i I’d definitely ask you out. Hehe. I’ve been watching your videos all day and I think you’re such a sweet guy and that’s always MOST important to me...’cause looks are great, but they fade, and I’ve been saying that since I was in my 20’s. I’m gonna be 50 in a few years so more so I realize that looks aren’t everything. I hope you find happiness ‘cause you deserve it. 😍🏳️🌈🤙🏽
You're a cooler, gay version of Oprah to me, ha! I mean this as a compliment :-P
@Edson Ubiratan Bahaha, BEST. compliment. EVER.
Thank you so much for sharing your story. I look forward in hearing from you.
I love this guy
I'm a gay man and it's been 7 yes for me. I'm attractive and get hit on all the time by girls and guys. I don't hookup for all the same reason you do. I value relationships and find it difficult to find committed men. They all want sex sex sex. I tell them to move on
I'm glad we're on the same page...I've been surprised how many people feel the same way...and knowing that a lot of other people are committing to the same principles makes it easier for me too!
Raif, I found you by accident and am a new subscriber I plan to view all your videos with thumbs up! I also believe my son is gay but he won't admit it...he is 38 and he did tell me he had sex with men but he is not gay? I thought he was since he was 12....I have tons of gay friends so he knows I love gay people men & women
I worked on the Aids quilt since the first panel. I met Sue Craves her sons panel was the first. I have done 100's of Aids walks and help for free...it's not a gay disease it's everyone's disease. Love you 🍑😍💜🧡💛💚💙👇
Princess Peach So true and thank u for sharing your story with me and everyone! Your son is a lucky guy to have someone like you who is so loving and supportive, regardless of how he may choose to identify himself. I guess the terminology is not so important, so long as he knows you support him and love who he is. Thank you for your support with my channel! I’m really just getting started this past year and I have so many aspirations for it from here on out 😌🙏🏽🙌🏽♥️🤙🏽
Hi Raif...
Keep it up 👆!!
Keep inspiring 🌈
Thank you so much Michael! I absolutely will keep it up! Doing biweekly videos now ;)
You are such a beautiful person. We share the same realization. Love from the Philippines ❤️
Thank u so much! And I'm glad you can relate my friend!
Joha Dela Cerna talaga ba
I hate hookups, im still a virgin and am also a hopeless romantic guy.... i hope i find the right guy someday but in the meantime im ok on my own
I hope u find Jesus instead
You inspired me even though I'm HIV negative
I love you.. You're an inspiration.. Thank you for your very helpful and informative videos.. Especially 'bout HIV issues.
I gave up sex for 2 years now. Im negative. I just avoid the risk and im hopeless romantic and hooking up culture is not for me.
I wish more people would be honest like this about their status then this would limit the spread of HIV...this couldn't be in Jamaica, people would bash you to death! They scorn people with HIV 😢
@usher luck true
Thank you !!!, I really feel the same, actually I´m done with the hook up thing, right now I feel very very empty and I think is time for me to change and adjust my life. I really appreciate how you share your life and thoughts, you are a great guy!!
@Allan Guzman Yea man! And it's not a static unchanging type of thing...just follow your heart and what your gut is telling you and it will evolve with time ;)
You're so brave. I want to meet you personally
🙏
Intimacy is key. I love your tattoo by the way.
Yes sir, it's the thing I crave the MOST. And thank you! It's my first...definitely plans to get more
Raif Derrazi I bet you do ;) Hopefully you're doing okay.
Thank you! I'm doing great 😊 Spending some nice, quality time with myself today...and clearly, responding to comments on things here haha ;)
Raif Derrazi That's good ❤
I'm right with you.I've been cilabate for 9yrs
Damn, that's a hot minute!
Such a nice video , such a nice topic , i feel like lots of people in lgbt community have the same experience , i am a trans woman and way before even starting my transition i got into a relationship, the end result was that i needed love , i gave everything but ... Now i feel stupid and worthless.
Thanks for sharing! Often times we GIVE everything to a person who doesn’t deserve it or doesn’t necessarily want it. What we really need is to give that love to our ourSELVES. We deserve it. We need it. And when we have it. We don’t look for someone else to fill that void. That has been my biggest lesson ❤️❤️❤️ chin up mama! You got this 🙏🏽
Been crazy trying to hook into the community again. Nothing that interested me before makes sense: apps, hookups, chats and pics... I am waiting for that one person to say something I want to hear, and then pray to all that be that I can reply with something that they have been waiting for. Hookups did it for me when I was younger - it meant great, they all want me, I am hot and bla bla bla. Acceptance. That's what I wanted. Now I crave intimacy and the app messages I do get go unanswered cause I'm not hearing the things I wanna hear. You did this fabulously and in such an authentic way that I salute you. Once you accept yourself, the space you allow for people to be intimately near you becomes so sensitive that only someone special can get in there. Awesome video and just do you as you are doing it. You find words for thoughts we battle with.
Yes, exactly brother! You summed that up well 😁 So glad you're getting something out of these vids...too often I doubt whether they're worth the effort but the more I do them and the more supportive feedback I get, the less influence those thoughts have 😉
I disagree that there aren’t romantic role models in the gay community and their not being very visual. I am HIV positive and have focused in seeing just that. I missed so much because I didn’t open my eyes before. Now it’s too late for me. Marriage equality came and I knew I could never have that. I actually became angry at myself and at life. Still am that I can’t forgive myself for being so wreckless about choices I made. No one’s fault but my own. Now I pay for the rest of my life.
I don’t like telling people I’m positive so I don’t get involved with sex relationships. As a result, I haven’t had sex for more than ten years. I’m masculine and good looking. So I get hit on a lot. But not wanting to come as full disclosure, I run from it. It makes me feel good to a point that I don’t have that drama to deal with. But it’s also very lonely. Friends, what few I allow, says I should give it a go. My conscious says I can’t deal with it.
I have watch many gay UA-cam videos mostly to make bad feelings go away. Yesterday, I found your videos and confused about if I want to watch them. The subject matter makes me sad. But, still intrigued about you putting yourself out their like this. So now, I have to decide if I can learn something from this, or will I be able to handle this. I’ll see as I watch in the coming days. But for you, thank you, I guess, for forcing me to face what I refused to face for so many years by uploading your videos.
But what I have found most in this world. Especially in the gay community. Is that love IS conditional. Look at you, for instance. You obviously work out and you obviously look great. Without that, you might not have that opportunity for love. I am not unfit but I don’t workout. I don’t look as good as you, so my options are limited. Sure, we all hear, there’s someone for everyone. I just refuse to chase that or definitely not wait for that. At 34, it hasn’t walked into my life and I don’t expect it to. I did think it MIGHT happen once. But after so long and it not happening, I no longer wait. I fear that I expect the worst for myself. Opportunity is so limited and I can’t work to make that conditional measurement to a point that I simply don’t care. That, quite frankly, scares me. And I’m sick of therapy telling me otherwise.
Calvin Davis I think you said it best when you commented ‘I have to decide if I can learn something from this...’ I think you touched on something very true and profound; it’s a decision that you make. A choice. Will I choose to learn and grow? Or will I choose to put it off and remain stagnant.
I DO hope you choose to learn and to allow yourself to grow; you are the gatekeeper to your own expansion...and I hope you unlock the gate and open it so that you can pass through and begin to enjoy the next phase of life. The opportunities are definitely out there...but I think it’s disadvantageous to yourself to expect that person to come to you or to walk into your life, especially when you don’t believe in him, necessarily.
I say, you do you. Focus on your life and making yourself happy and becoming a better person...all the while knowing that there is the right person for you out there. And so long as you are chasing after that thing that gives your life meaning and happiness...there is someone else doing the same...and by the laws of the universe, when the time is right, your paths will align.
Really like this video. Thanks for sharing!
@Aaron Larsen Ur so welcome!
I feel attacked, didn't have to call me out like that! LOL JK he's totally right in everything he said! When I was hooking up, i knew I wanted a little bit of intimacy because I was lonely and desperate. And hooking up was what I thought I could get a little of it. Even afterwards I wouldn't feel good about it, just like he said! Because when you're single and lonely you think hooking up will make you feel better...But now It's different I know what I want and I value myself more.
I’ve been in spaces where other gay men have mocked me for not hooking up, going as far as calling me a “weirdo” lol.
That’s another thing people never talk about, if you “slut shame” someone, people will come down on you like a raging storm (rightfully so), however it seems to be ok to shame men that aren’t sleeping with anything that moves. If you are a man in this world, gay or straight, and you’re not having frequent sex people look at you like you’re defected.
I’m a hopeless romantic though so I’d rather wait and be a “weirdo” until it feels right lol. Thanks for the video, best wishes to you
All you need is loveeee 😍🥰🌼🌷
its 29 years for me 😑
The picture on top wow 😍
tagabicolini pinay 😌🤪
Hi Raif, every single word you said was true. I was diagnosed with HIV a couple of months ago and it was truly not easy to face the reality. I hope to see more videos of yours. It somehow helps me cope and be a better version. Continue to share more videos 🙏🙏🙏 God bless you!
Thank you Alfred, I’m happy to hear that. Keep working on yourself and keep up the awesome attitude 🙏🏽
I feel the same 😞 I mean we're same hopeless romantic. If i will given the chance to know you, I'll take care of ya.
Appreciate the thought
Raif ,Im a straight woman and I understand completely ive known female friends who got used over and over by men but they couldnt see they were also useing these men for intamacey . They were starving for the attention the touch and all that came with it .You are very mature for your age and have trmendous self esteem conpaired to alot of pepole around your age that ive known and know
Thank you for your words. I'm at the point of my life now where I am realizing that I need to respect my body and save it for someone special. Idk but in these moments I am also realizing that there is more to life than hooking up. Live, connect and love.
Raif, please right a book! I totally understand what you’re saying. Beyond the hooking up, though, I notice gay friends taking about their hookups. I live in Kansas City, MO, which is a small town compared to large cities. It doesn’t take long for word to get around. Anyway, great video and thanks for sharing!
It's absolutely my intention to put the pen to paper at some point, so to speak 😉I'm initially going to look into creating an E-book first 🙏
Wow Raif...good to hear from you again. Thanks for sharing from your thoughts...you have a lot of wisdom in what you shared. Raif...I loved what you said about our bodies being precious...so true. Although I've not been that sexually active , that desire to be held...touched...is real for me. Many blessings to you Raif...and know you are appreciated.
Thank you so much for this. I'm glad you can relate to what I'm saying too. More to come...
Thank you Raif! Blessings to you this evening...and trust you have a good rest tonight.
You are a beautiful person! Big ears are sexy! Will Smith,hello! Beautiful flaws! Indulge in them!!
Haha so true
Your Situation, Is everybodys Situation.
A lot of people experience the same feelings etc...but a lot of people I know handle it differently and aren’t always acting in alignment with their values, what they think and what they want for themselves...which is the bummer, I think
In only 20 months? I've been without sex for several YEARS. And I'm ok like that. With time, you get used with the lack of sex.
Raif.....you are so cute. Thanks for sharing. Great inspiration and insight. Oh how i miss the intimacy i use to have with my ex. Didn’t last more than 3 years but its worth it. We are still friends. So stay true to you and you will attract that person to you in time. 💖
Thanks Erick! Yea I’m doing my best, ain’t always easy, but I know it’ll be so worth it when I do meet that right person for me ☺️
Hi raif. I hope you still remember me (that guy coming out to be pos). I would just like to give comment on your being hopeless romantic. You’re such a nice guy that people tend to cheat on you on purpose. They cant accept the fact that their fantasies on you (as bed partner) is not real, they want just fun and play. You’re a perfect boyfriend material guy and a lifelong partner. Love from the philippines.
Thank you so much for the love, my friend. I'll never let go of my truth and what I'm looking for in a life long partner. Always stay true to yourself despite others who may cause you harm or not have your best interest at heart. Much love to you too!
Raif Derrazi i hope you find someone who can share your life for the rest of the years. ;*
Love that you opened up like this. People now a days have a hard time admitting these things. Self worth crucial to finding true happiness!!
Amen, thanks for the support Eucebia! Wish u the best
You look stunning
It's just unfortunate you didn't realize this before your infection. But good for you in trying to be more self aware and safe
Well sure, but apparently I needed the slap in the face to wake me up out of my current state of mind! So i'm thankful for that 🙏
I definitely agree with all you said.
Hey Raif.. Firstly a big hello from the Netherlands and thank you very much for sharing this awesome topic.. I do believe everyone has someone special in their life and yes nothing wrong testing the water one's in a while to see if He or She is the one. Very uplifting and spiritual my friend.. Thank you one's again and have a wonderful weekend.. Friendly regards Emmanuel 😇✌💞
emmanuelandi Daag! From my home country! I was born in Utrecht 😉 I don’t speak much Dutch tho, came here when I was barely 5 years old. Glad you’re enjoying the vlogs! And thanks for the support
Dearest Raif , Thank you very much for the reply.. It's a small world after all , I moved to the Netherlands 12 years ago so I don't really speak the language that fluently it's also one of the most difficult language in the world..😁 Anyhow it's my pleasure supporting your Vlog course it's honest and so much of individual related subjects , Thank you one's again my friend and keep up the good spirit and take care.. Emmanuel 😇💞✌
Again i admire you and your values as a person. Ones Orientation does not define who they are as a human being. We are all people and should be respected. Keep the videos coming.
Taco Man Thanks again, brother
I was like this for a long time. I went 2+ years with out sex. Is it like this everywhere or just in Orange County
interesting your views we are all so different. I prefer not having the intimacy
Yep, we're all on our own journey. We all different but we all equal 🙏
I’m happy you encountered this truth which is the same for everyone; respect and own your body and health. You shed light on a very hard topic for the gay community when it comes to intimacy and sex.
Bless you.
Absolutely 100% it's not an easy path...it's so tempting to just get some instant gratification...but the reward for valuing your body and health above all else is much, much greater than the instant benefit of hooking up etc
Thanks for sharing this video with us. It really touches me in so many ways!!!
ABSOLUTELY! So glad you can relate to it
Hugs from Lisbon !
i feel you hahaha... i am having hard times in such issue too...
wow i was thinking abt this 4 a long time am the hook up tipe but now iam really going to became Celibate
@Franceska Hernandez So long as you are living in alignment with what makes you happy inside! ♥
I'm a gay female..the issues with lesbians is that they want you to move in after the 2nd date..U-Haul relationships lol. But it's so superficial. I went more than 2 years without sex looking for someone who stimulated my mind not just my lust. Also I wanted to stay away from females looking for these U-Haul relationships. Sadly I thought I found the right person after waiting but was wrong!!!! However I don't regret it cause during that time I got to know myself and when I finally found my spouse I was truly ready for a real relationship because I was not afraid of being alone anymore..I wanted to be with someone because I wanted to be there.
BEEN 4 YEARS FOR ME
Mitch Grooms Thanks for sharing, brother. Props to u on ur journey 👊🏽😉
Thank you Raif you made me truly believe in true love and that's so hard too find now a days because it has too come from are selfs we need to love are selfs and respect are self dignity and are moral s in life your so sweet Ralf bless your heart 👼👍👍🙏
Christian Gouveia YES my friend. That’s where TRUE love really begins and blossoms from. So glad you appreciate the video! 😌🙏🏽
Amen for you!!! I agree wholeheartedly!!!
ugh this made you 10x more desirable
lol 🙈
It's sad that most of the guys I've met on Grindr just wanna get into my pants. I haven't logged onto any apps for months and I too have not had sex for a long time, but it doesn't really bother me. I just work, gym and get busy. Sigh.... : (
Jere Cullen Yea I did the same...but ya kno, throwing in some dates here and there ain’t such a bad idea either 😉
I’m no sex about 3 years because no have boyfriend haha
Thank you. Thank you. !!!!!! Every thing you say in this vid is spot on. I have felt the same as you are discussing (for a bit longer lol) but I have not been able to find the words. Sex should be intimate and special for people like us
I hope you find someone who can understand what you feel and respect you and your wishes. All my best to you and thank you for expressing the words
Hey raif. You would make a great “accountability “ coach.
Well, I am not having sex since March 2019 since I had my HIV+ status. I am now looking for an Asexual relationship. Kind of scared, if u know what I mean.
Asexual relationship? How does it work?
@@thefifthstage369 well, basically a relationship without sex (penetration) and it may or may not have preliminaries (it depends on which stage is the person on his/hers asexual level) if you know what I mean.
@@DiscografiaBR Interesting !
Amazing testimony, very inspirational and brave.
sex is special even though ur a young man in ur20s with hormones.hon,with age ,wisdom will come with age .Raif,u deal and work with it.Raif keep ur head and continue ur path in this life .forget about the dating and just keep urself busy .with college,family and friends.just be you.grinder and all the other hook up sites are a hot mess .be true to urself.keep urself grounded and humble.that special relationship will happen.
.
Thank you for your words...tho I'm actually 33 😉 but I believe it still applies at any age
Still celibate?
I am not celibate...but I am very selective about when I give it up!
Not that you have aids you choose to not have sex with what ever is in sight lol
such a inspiring and honest video. I am someone who think the same like you. Want to find true love and keep it special. I Relate to this so much. Thank you so much for this Video.
So glad u relate and could appreciate what I had to say ☺️🙏🏽
So glad u relate and could appreciate what I had to say ☺️🙏🏽
Raif Derrazi hope you find one soon ! Haha.... And I was also fairytaily romantic. :)
Nice thoughts raif. I feel you... hope theres someone like you i could find ... or better yet wait for love, it will still find me, dont look for it, love myself first... God bless raif
Amen to that!
Hi Rafael...how are you doing these days? I remember interacting with you on another post. God bless you too, my friend.
Train Supporter hello train... im doing good. Though im already adherent to meds for the rest of my life. Hopefully ill be okay...
Thank you Rafael...I pray God takes good care of you.
Train Supporter thank u train...hope we could be friends... God bless
it is if you are talking about me this really whats happening to me
So glad you can relate, my friend
I wish I could find someone who shares our same mindset around here! Surely they exist! 🙂
Gammora HIV cure can only be ordered from Haifa Israel or our breach in East Africa KENYA that HUB in Africa.
To place your order kindly call or WhatsApp +12055788294 this (if in Africa) or email kelvinmorgan020@gmail.com you can also well send US massage through inbox
Thank you for making this video.
Jared, your'e very welcome