you don't have OCD...you're just annoying.
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- Опубліковано 22 бер 2023
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✧( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)✧ ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) renaming my channel nico-cd ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)✧ ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)✧
hello hello lil cherubs!
in today's video i discuss OCD as a whole, my personal experience with OCD and getting diagnosed with it, and also how it is misrepresented in the media, and how it can actually cause harm to those with OCD. xoxo nikki nasty
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I hate the fact that now "intrusive thought" has lost so much meaning that when someone expresses an actual intrusive thought, everyone thinks they're disgusting.
Edit: damn, lots of likes lol. I'm glad this comment could help people talk about their experience, even briefly. Conclusion: intrusive thoughts and impulsive thoughts aren't the same thing. Intrusive thoughts aren't "normal", but it doesn't make them wrong or you a bad person, you can't control them. Get diagnosed if you can, it may feel like it won't help but believe me, it does. And if you can't, get in touch with other people with OCD. Community helps a lot!
Same thing with the word “triggered”
@@savannahskye9441Fr like people have to put “triggers:wallpaper” or some shot like that
Yeah, like aren't intrusive thoughts usually incest/religious-based/violent?
Not some quirky random idea. God.
I've had thoughts horrific horrible things happening to loved ones and phases where I cannot be in silence because my mind floods with things that hurt so much.
People have really lost the differences between impulsive and intrusive. Impulsive is silly goofy, intrusive is harmful
I saw a tweet that said “your intrusive thoughts are just the intuition that society tells you to reject” and I thought “why does my intuition keep telling me I need to brush my teeth three times in a row or my mom will die?”
Why would anyone ever ever say that 😰 if anyone should go to jail for internet crimes it should be people who say crap that intentionally plays into obsessive, paranoid or delusional lines of thought
@@morgueishexactlyyy.
My “intuition” says “hit that person with your car” and “trip” an awful lot
Why does my intuition give me incestuous thoughts or tell me to hit people with my car or chop off my own fingers when cutting vegetables? Smh. Intrusive thoughts are, like, the exact OPPOSITE of intuition. They are specifically designed to make you feel god awful. I don’t have OCD, but I have lots of other stuff. And one of my little mental illnesses is causing the intrusive thoughts for sure.
Society is holding me back from breaking my own collar bones and kicking my pets smh, when did we get so woke and liberal?
as someone who is NOT diagnosed with ocd, nobody talks more about their “ocd” than people who most certainly do not have ocd.
This. The number of things I've heard people describe as being "OCD," when even my non-diagnosed ass is like "That.... is not OCD."
This has happened with so many therapy terms that have gotten popularized. What was once a medical term referring to a specific thing gets popularized and watered down into a generalized description of normal personality traits, obfuscating the original meaning and allowing the new adopters to continue to stigmatize the people who ACTUALLY have these issues.
TRUTH
I feel the exact same with Adhd. It’s become a massive trend to have adhd. It’s very strange
💯
my mom says she has ocd bc she likes her house clean and organized like mother that is NOT what that means
gabbie hanna saying she “washes her hands obsessively” resulted in her skin being clearer indicates to me, someone with ocd tendencies, that she’s not actually washing her hands obsessively. i used to wash my hands so frequently that they were cracked, dry, and swollen. to obsess over something is to turn a rather innocuous activity/thing into something that unhealthily dictates your live and plans.
Absolutely agree, I’ve always had a problem of thinking “i didn’t wash my hands well enough” and would spend more than half of my time in the bathroom washing my hands. After that id go to my room and put a bunch of hand sanitizer on “to be extra safe” it’s gotten worse over time and I frequently get yelled at to hurry up because I’m taking to much time but I literally can’t not do it. I’ve gotten used to putting on a bunch of lotion to try and prevent the bad cracks.
I don't have OCD, but I used to work at Subway when I was 15-16. I washed my hands between each subway sandwich I made before putting on gloves. My hands were FUCKED. Dry, cracked, rough and painful. I was able to leave job and put on lotion on a lot to recover. Not such an easy fix when you have OCD though I imagine. People should really consider their audience before making such insensitive remarks. I hope life gets a little easier for you tho oc Xx.
I used to wash my hands so often that my skin is permanently cracked and dry. I have to use steroid ointments to keep them from hurting.
@@bloodstrxwberrymilk1833oh god I also worked at subway and between washing the dishes in very alkaline soap and then sanitising my hands and wearing those gloves, i would have meltdowns over the sensation because my anxiety makes me hate weird touch sensations
My boyfriend (isn’t diagnosed but definitely has tendencies) has to always have hand sanitizer on him and puts in on probably every minute where his hands are so dried out and tight from having no moisture in them so seeing it first hand makes me find it so hard to believe that her hands are so clear from constantly washing them
The intrusive thoughts aspect of OCD is something that I REALLY wish people understood more. It isn't "uh oh I yelled a bad word in class guess the intrusive thoughts won haha". It's genuinely horrifying shit that seriously wears you down into fatigue and anxiety
yes! they can be so isolating at times cause it makes me feel like im actually going crazy!
It’s stuff you would NEVER say out loud and you feel like shit for thinking about it. I don’t have OCD, but I do have intrusive thoughts and it kind of skews how I view myself. “Omg, why would I think that.” “Is there something wrong with me?” “Am I a sociopath?” Some of these people don’t realize that if it’s really an intrusive thought, you would never to carry out the actions from that thought. Otherwise it’s just impulsive.
me when i have intrusive thoughts that convince me i did awful, awful things and somehow had no memory of it up until this very moment:
That trend pisses me off to the highest degree I dont have OCD but I have intrusive thoughts. I would NEVER do anything they tell me I would
Yes literally! Idk If I have OCD but I know I get annoying intrusive thoughts all the time.
As someone with diagnosed OCD the one I truly hate is the intrusive thoughts joke or whatever it is they’re using it for. I saw a girls video where she said “omg my intrusive thoughts won and I cut my bangs” another one was “my intrusive thoughts made me bake cookies and eat them at 2 a.m.”
Diagnosed with OCD. My friend made a joke like that and I told her what real intrusive thoughts were and now she thinks I’m absolutely insane.
It's like they don't get the difference between intrusive thoughts and impulse control
@@karaadams269 everyone wants to joke about mental health diagnoses until they learn what the actual realities behind those conditions are 😐
@@karaadams269 I remember being so terrified of my intrusive thoughts that I even refused to tell my therapist about them because I kept thinking how horrific they were and I was just a disgusting person and believed they were gonna lock me up
True I have anxiety induced OCD and it’s the intrusive thoughts for me. It’s like Tourette’s in the brain (my sibling has Tourette’s so I guess that’s why it makes sense as a comparison to me)
I’ll just see someone and think terrible horrible thoughts that make me feel awful. Like that’s not me! I don’t feel those things. And it takes so long to beat it in my head. I also have a skin picking disorder too and that has destroyed my confidence.
I've never heard anyone talk about POCD before (fear of being a p*dophile and having intense unwanted intrusive thoughts about hurting children s*xually) so I'm grateful that you brought it up.
I'm very scared to talk about this and it will be very uncomfortable, but I will, just in case others feel the same way.
I'm not a p*dophile and I know that, but I am terrified of being around children and I'm afraid that I will hurt them in some way from just being near them. I'm bisexual so I'm a part of the lgbt community, so when I hear homophobes say "you're all groomers and pedophiles" it really fucks with my head.
I'm scared of having kids because I don't want to ever have to touch them or interact with them so I don't hurt them or accidentally be inappropriate. Especially in media right now, theres a LOT of talk about p*dophilia because its the internet and there are a lot of those on here because its easy for them to interact with minors that way.
So theres a lot of youtubers talking about it and a lot of people being exposed, and also theres a lot of that sort of thing in horror and unfortunately i enjoy horror. So I'm being constantly bombarded with the very thing I'm terrified of and I'm so scared of being a bad person even though i know deep down i didnt do anything wrong.
This is just a small part of what I'm going through with this and I don't want to talk about it any more because it's extremely uncomfortable but I thought I would take the opportunity to maybe give other people a chance to relate if they also have this specific type of OCD.
You're not alone, you're not a bad person, and you're not actually a p*dophile. Please go to therapy if you haven't already, it can help you overcome these fears and be able to interact normally with people and children so if you want to be a parent then you can have kids without that extreme fear.
I want to talk to a therapist about it but im scared of anyone knowing about this because i dont want to be accused of anything because that will just reinforce my paranoia. But I'll find the courage eventually. Hopefully. I want it to stop.
Thank you for listening if you did. Hopefully I'm not alone. I mean, i dont want other people to have this, but you know what i mean.
Edit: Thank you very much for the kind and understanding comments, as well as your own experiences. I was really nervous about posting this comment but you all are really sweet so thank you, and I wish you luck on what you're going through and I hope you find the peace you deserve.
literally crying dude I thought I was the only one, thought I was fucking insane, but I know a lot of these thoughts are from extreme CSA
thank you for bringing to my attention that this is a real issue after 19 years of not knowing!! holy fuck things make so much sense
i also have debilitating POCD and it's so hard to be open about that form because people do not want to learn what ocd even is to then understand these are incredibly disturbing and terrifying thoughts we don't want at all and stay hyper vigilant about our behaviour and bodies to prove to ourselves we aren't that. sending you lots of hugs
Thank you for sharing your story with others. I have contamination OCD in regards to the bathroom mostly, but I don’t have the "good" compulsion of cleaning. Quite the opposite, my main compulsion is avoidance so I avoid showering or looking at the bathroom sometimes. Which many would find gross so it’s hard to talk about. I definitely hear and respect the struggle of other themes of OCD. I started Exposure Response Prevention Therapy, and it was scary at first being exposed to my fears but WOW I was able to do it and that was empowering!! I found a therapist that specialized in OCD on Psychology Today, and it definitely helped finding someone who understood what was going on. I hope you’re able to take the steps you need when you’re ready. You are stronger than you think you are! Good luck ❤️
I swear it feels like a curse, I wish my head would just stop.
I believe you
My largest ocd issue is about being a bad person or being secretly evil, and I so appreciate you acknowledging that part/type of ocd in this video. I was in deep, deep denial about my having any mental illnesses, in part bc of a tlc “my strange addiction” style special on a lady with ocd that was so extremely stigmatizing I immediately thought “Ew, ugh that could never be me, what a weirdo” and that lead to years and years of denial until I was forced to admit something had to be done when I was a sophomore in highschool.
I didn't even know worrying too much about if you are creepy or bad person or something you did is out of line or taboo or worrying too much about that your parents might die and what you'll do then was an ocd thing. I thought it was just anxiety.
@@magnus1383 Well it can be both. Just cuz you have those, doesn’t necessarily mean you have ocd. It _could_ be a GAD thing or something else.
I have something very similar. At the moment, my intrusive thoughts are saying “what if I’m actually a manipulative psychopath that’s so good at acting that I even fooled myself?”
Isn't ocd a type of anxiety? If I have it (always been skeptical of my diagnosis) it flares up when I'm already extremely anxious
i don’t think i have OCD (nor have i been diagnosed), but man, i constantly think about whether I’m a bad person. I’ve had terribly violent thoughts throughout my life and moments where I’m just void of emotion. Growing up, i watched a lot of criminal minds and thought i was a sociopath 😅. I churn moments through my mind and wonder how i could’ve been better/done better. I have anxiety, so I’m sure a lot of it is related to that. but man, some of these symptoms are relatable
i am so so grateful that she talked about her extreme fear of pregnancy. it’s something that i’ve been struggling with since i was really young and i thought i was actually insane.
Same! I'm not sure if I have OCD though
@@eleob9098 i don’t think i do either, it’s just a fear i’ve had for a while !!
I'm afraid of just being pregnant in general but I attribute it to living in a society with questionable birth control options and roe v wade being over turned
SAME. I get physically sick seeing a baby bump even if it’s just online because it looked so distended and unnatural to me. I usually have to unfollow people when they get pregnant.
Crazy! I take a test before and after my birth control cycles cuz I'm so perinoid about it 😅
I suffer from intrusive thoughts, and the amount of anxiety and paranoia they've created for me is insane. There are times where I genuinely feel like im the worst human being in the world, or that the people around me are all awful and grotesque. I hate it so so much and im terrified of telling anyone because people automatically assume that those thoughts define who you are and represent your actual self
YES FOR REAL. 😭I literally cried during this video because holy shit I've never seen someone with the same problems. I thought I was alone and just fucked up. I felt like if I told anyone the shit that goes on in my mind they will hate me and want to leave or think I'm crazy. The only thing that keeps me pretty okay when it comes to intrusive thoughts is when I tell myself ''I don't like these thoughts'' or ''I don't want to keep thinking about this'' because it means that this is against my will. It's not like I want these bad or disgusting things to happen.
Omg this makes me feel so much better. I thought I was alone
I thought I was a deranged psychopath a good while and sometimes they do manage to temporarily convince me that I am. I do not at all resonate with those thoughts, they can be extremely violent or gross, and I blame my trauma and the internet for makimg this side of it the most dominant.
88888
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I feel for you! I have diagnosed Agoraphobia. I won’t get into details but my own family was like “everyone is a little nervous outside of their house.” And I realized that people just don’t get it.
People don’t realise it’s not just nerves, that it’s a full body fight or flight “PANIC NOW” reaction.
yess omg that explains it so well!!@@sand_eater101
My parents said that until I threw a salt shaker at them for trying to drag me out of the house
as someone w agoraphobia, same. it's such a deep, deep and horrible fear and people do not get it...
This comment section is so affirming. My agoraphobia is pretty mild- didn’t really manifest itself until Covid- and I think is more OCD related than straight up agoraphobia since I can leave the house when I need to- but I just feel like something really bad is going to happen if I go anywhere that isn’t work or school. Im also scared of going out and checking the mail because I might get a letter that ends up making me homeless, so it just piles up- it’s all just so exhausting
Two people close to me have been diagnosed with OCD. Both of their initial responses were "But I'm not tidy". OCD is so misunderstood that even people who suffer to the point of severe debilitation don't even think they have it, while other people who just like to straighten things up here and there are going "OMG, I'm soooooo OCD!"
I dont have ocd but I do have autism and I often get the comment like "well you're smart" or "you're not autistic you just haven't matured yet" that's not what it is. it's a serious problem that I have to struggle with my whole life. thank you for shining light on your experience with having OCD because even though its not the same disorder I struggle with it still shines light on so many other things and is relatable in a way that hits close to home :) thank you
i'll say (as another autistic person) that:
1) yeah those comments are pretty frequent and really suck. even "positive" stereotypes like high intelligence are still deeply limiting and are so simplified that they miss out on important contextual elements
2) while i get your overall sentiment, i think it's a bit dangerous/unwise to talk about autism that way. i would say that a lot of the sensory issues that often come with asd can be a difficult struggle, but to be fair, a lot of the "difficulties" of autism come from your brain just working differently and -- if society wasn't so allistic & judgmental -- typically wouldn't cause any distress on their own. to elaborate, regardless of societal treatment of people with OCD, those kind of compulsions could be debilitating while asd isn't fundamentally harmful to the person (and usually the bits that can be harmful are other co-morbid disorders). that's the long way to say that I think it's a bit harmful to equate ASD to other "disorders" because it tends to genuinely be more of a difference that is incompatible with current society & not fundamentally harmful. we don't need to (and definitely shouldn't) idolize asd as a "superpower" or some shit like that, but it also can be positive in various ways and much less limiting in a more neurodivergent/accepting community
I have ADHD and people never believe me because I have the inattentive type, but people usually only think of the hyperactive type 🫠 I hate how there is so little knowledge about different neuro types in the general public
@@HunterSlingbaum this isn't entirely true - even if i lived in a society that wasn't judgemental, as an autistic person i'd still be disabled by my autism and i'd still struggle hugely. i understand that you meant well but your experience doesn't represent everyone's. i'm sure you already know this but autism is a huge spectrum, and you shouldn't speak for everyone, because we're all different and have different experiences. i,personally would still be struggle a lot, even if i lived in a non judgemental society.
@@teehee158 I totally understand that it is a spectrum, and I apologize if it came off like I was prioritizing my personal experience, but I was more so trying to synthesize a lot of the sentiments I’ve seen from the community online & friends/etc. that I know. Like autism is very often comorbid with learning and sensory disorders, which can 100% be debilitating. Mine is comorbid with ADHD, which I personally think is debilitating for me regardless of social context & is somewhat amplified/complicated by ASD. Nevertheless, I’m just saying that society assumes autism HAS to be a struggle for everyone, while-in many cases-it’s mostly just incompatible with allistic societal expectations. While this last bit is still personal anecdote, if I could snap my fingers and get rid of my depression, I would in a second; with ASD, there are complications in my life and I wish my sensory needs were lower, but I appreciate the way I think and the communities I’ve found that do so as well. I know my experience isn’t universal, but I just think that equating ASD with OCD is dangerous because an OCD diagnosis necessitates that there is harm being done while ASD doesn’t have to be harmful for everyone.
Hey if you don’t mind me asking when did you get diagnosed with autism bc I’m 24 and my mom who lives with me as well as a few other people think I might have it and that got me into reading/watching stuff about it so now I think I might have it. I’ve heard of other people getting diagnosed super later in life but idk how common that is or if it’s even worth taking the time and money to see a doctor about 😅
As someone diagnosed and who suffers from BPD I totally understand the struggle with misrepresentation. My favorite show of all time was crazy ex girlfriend for the portrayal of BPD. Seeing Rebecca struggle with the disorder and how her trauma works into it really resonated with my experience. It sucks how my disorder has become a fad on the internet. It’s not quirky to have a disorder, its miserable.
M
I am here for the love for CXG!!!
THE BEST SHOW
It's either a fad OR people vilify those with BPD and call them all abusers. My heart goes out to yall and the bullshit you go through
this was a similar experience for me!
@@blooms454I had a therapist who I left because she kept trying to convince me my mom was abusive when I mentioned my family’s history with mental health and how mom has BPD. It didn’t matter how I explained that my mom was in therapy for years by the time she had me and was always the best and would teach me how to have a healthy relationship. It was infuriating
As someone who suspects I have OCD but haven’t been able to get diagnosed, you mentioning all those types of intrusive thoughts almost made me cry. I can relate to almost all of them, but of course I’ve never talked to anyone about it. You really made me feel seen in a way I haven’t before so thank you so much for making this video. And thank the algorithm for randomly recommending this to me enough times to feel compelled to watch it lmao
I was self diagnosed all throughout my teen years. I wasn’t formally diagnosed until I was nearly 20. It was so comforting knowing that those feelings were valid.
I only ever knew OCD as what I now know is contamination OCD, not realizing that having to touch something with my left hand because I touched it with my right hand counts. And having to take either 2 or 4 steps on each square of sidewalks counts. And eating snacks in pairs counts. Any time you get an irrational urge to perform an action (mentally or physically), and you get anxious or even just “uncomfy” when you are prevented from performing said action, chances are it’s OCD.
@@gracejordan110i do this every second of the day and i highly suspect i have OCD , it's incredibly frustrating but i'm glad that there are people who do the same
I do not have OCD, but I do get intrusive thoughts and like... yeah. People online don't understand the difference between impulsive and intrusive thoughts. Impulsive thoughts are things that might be seemingly entertaining or fun-- something you want to do but you neglect to think about consequences. Intrusive thoughts are things you do NOT want to do at all but your mind is screaming at you to do it anyways. I remember getting them as a kid and feeling like I was a monster because "surely nobody else thinks like this." I now am diagnosed with an anxiety disorder xD
A reminder that intrusive thoughts are normal (as truly odd and disturbing as they can be). If you find yourself sticking on a thought and making yourself feel guilty about them, go talk a therapist! A diagnosis and being able to have an explanation changed my life xx
rt
my mom has told me that my "craziness" is probably OCD. She did study psychology. Never believed her because of how OCD is portrayed on the media. After watching this video and hearing the more negative sides of it - I relate to it. maybe ill talk to my mother about it.
this makes me happy
Same, it’s so sad how it’s portrayed in media. I never related to the “have to clean my desk and organise my pens” ocd, so I never sought help until this year and immediatly got the diagnosis and I was so chocked
It’s frustrating how the media often portrays ocd. As someone who has it, if you want someone to understand what you’re going through who doesn’t have it, it can be challenging. A lot of people are often misinformed about ocd and think it’s mostly about cleaning and such when it varies from each person.
Update: I was indeed diagnosed with OCD and extreme anxiety. LOL 😝
@@rynlaangleyooo well glad you got diagnosed 💗
I love it cause when you said "I'm scared of pregnancy" I thought "oh it feels great to know I'm not the only one finding it terrifying to grow an entire human in my body" but I didn't expect that twist of actually being scared of pregnant women ! I'm glad you have professionals helping you by your side :)
I'm SO annoyed when I talk about my friend being diagnosed with ADHD and people saying "yes but we're all a bit ADHD / Autistic / whatever..." No we're not, stfu.
Yes, I hate people who say that
I know right! Or when they say like ‘oh I’m just so ocd’ when putting a pencil by another one.
I recently went through an assessment with a psychiatrist and he acknowledged the autism but then said I was "somewhat ADHD" and "a bit OCD" which is absolute BS if you wouldn't diagnose it then it is not a factor.. you can acknowledge overlapping symptoms without speaking so flippantly. It comes from the top sometimes.
yeah I'm extremely ADHD. I have friends who I know have ADHD and are just undiagnosed and wont go to the doctor, then I compare them to the "everyones a bit ADHD". No you're not. Me and my friend can barely function. You just forgot where you put your keys one time.
When she mentioned that it reminded me of the time I had a panic attack at 14 cuz I thought I somehow got pregnant through the water from the showerhead .-.
OCD ruined my childhood. Before I got on medicine, I was an emotional wreck. My intrusive thoughts were terrifying and I feared almost every day. My anxiety was CRIPPLING. I was a child and literally thought ANYTHING would kill me (even my own mom). I wasn’t diagnosed until high school, but when I told people I have OCD and then explained what my OCD was like…you know what their response was? “Oh, wow, your OCD is so creative🤩” WTF. Now ppl online are talking about intrusive thoughts as if they didn’t make my life a crippling anxiety hell???? 😤 we need to start talking about mental health in schools bc come onnnnnnn
My panic disorder episodes felt very similar to what you're describing, the crippling fear that I was definitely going to die if I left my house, it was a very painful time in my life and the comments from people who don't understand and just say "oh I panic sometimes too haha" or "omg you're being silly you're not gonna die" even from THERAPISTS only made it worse. You're definitely right that we should talk more about the different kinds of mental illnesses at schools, not only to encourage people who might have it to seek help but to fight the stigma and harmful stereotypes
@@AmandaFreitas1998 it really bothers how people swipe the severity of these disorders under the rug because it minimizes our experiences and very real, terrifying struggles. I told one of my managers I have OCD and needed him to check something just so I could feel better and he rolled his eyes while doing it and it bothered me a lot (and then mockingly showed me he did it). Stigmatization won’t be minimized unless people are taught and exposed to people like us. It’s sad how we can talk about really upsetting things and other people will respond so insensitively, really showing us their ignorance
@@Swamp_fairy 100% agree
the term cr*ppling is ableist (towards physically disabled people)
no liiiiiterally it ruined my childhood… but you like to organize your oreos in a certain pattern… alright
My ocd does make me wash my hands constantly and unlike what gabbie is saying, it is definitely not a good thing to have cracked bleeding hands and be unable to touch things without fear of contamination to the point where I can’t function as a human or clean my surroundings only making it worse -but that’s just me, I’m so happy gabbie is glad she washes her hands😍/s
we love a handwashing queen 😍 reminds me of how when i was in middle school the teachers told my parents during conferences that they were having to stop me from constantly using the classroom hand sanitizer and tissues because i kept going through all of it by myself! so fun, glad others finally see it 😍😍😍/s
Once I washed my hair in the schoolbathroom in 5th grade because someone sneezed right behind me. Slay!
Just as a little tip as a person with eczema, there is soap free cleaning solution that you can use to wash your hands. It cleans everything just as well as regular soap but is much gentler on the skin. Maybe that can help you just a little bit :)
thankyou! I will try that :)@@butteryboy._.
literally!! i wash my hands at least 30 times a day and my hands are so dry and cracked and itchy, and i have eczema which makes it worse😭
As someone diagnosed with a grab bag of anxiety disorders (OCD, PTSD, GAD, Panic Disorder) the constant rumination can be extremely debilitating. It's gotten to the point where I've had to delete social media entirely just because it really feeds into my issues. Hearing someone else's struggles helps to not feel alone 💜
Hi there! I'm sorry to hear about your struggles. Although I'm lucky enough to not have severe anxiety disorders, I have also had to delete all social media because it wrecks havoc on my mental health. I'm proud of you for doing what you need to to prioritize your health. Good luck ❤
I also have been diagnosed with a “grab bag” (gad, panic disorder, clinic depression) but even though ocd has never been officially diagnosed this video resonates so much with me and helps me feel less alone. I hope you’re doing ok nowadays 💙
@@sunnypodbelsek6697I am! Thank you for replying- I had completely forgotten that I had commented on here. I hope you can find relief amidst having mental health issues and you're definitely not alone in this experience ❤
Sending you love. Similar diagnosises here.
i am exactly the same. just today i had a debilitating anxious breakdown (stumbled upon this video by accident while searching for ocd relief) and i feel like its getting harder to live life each day. something miniscule will happen and i think i am the worst person on earth, i will be put in prison, killed etc.. the worst part is when, after some time, you realise how stupid it was to have wasted so much energy on something that wasnt even a threat to begin with. and then it starts over.
It's so refreshing to see someone being so open about their OCD. It's been a struggle the last two years but it seems like the dialogue is opening up about it. Thank you so much, Nikki for making it less scary and isolating.
like
i used to think that OCD stood for obsessive cleaning disorder because that’s the only symptom people would talk about and when i was told that no it’s compulsive i was confused. !
THIS. i also used to think that is what it stood for even when i had a diagnosis for ocd that didn't have anything to do with cleanliness until my early 20s. like it can look SO different than just being clean. The stereotypes are so harmful in making people that struggle with different types of ocd feel so isolated.
OCD is so deeply isolating - everyone experiences it differently so there's also the added fun side affect of doubting you even have OCD every time you hear someone describe it differently to how you experience it. That being said, I think the representation of it in the media is slowly getting a bit better. I thought Charlie from the heartstopper comics was a really good representation of what OCD looks like :)
I always like to remind people that there is a difference between being a perfectionist and having ocd. can you be a perfectionist and have ocd? yes. does being a perfectionist mean you have ocd? no. thank you for opening up about your journey and educating people
One of my friends committed suicide nearly a year a go as a direct result of his severe OCD. It's not a laughing matter. I appreciate you making this video. More understanding is always helpful.
I'm so so sorry for your loss. May he rest in peace.
Thank you for actually saying this. As someone with OCD it can get extremely irritating hearing people say things like, “oh I’m so OCD lol!!1!1!!” I think we need to reframe the way we speak about and portray this disorder because it can be so debilitating.
I dont have ocd but I still find it so annoying when people do this.
The weird thing is I used to be one of those people and then turns out I do have OCD and it's been affecting me in a way that I never understood to be the disease. It turns out needing to text your friends every time you think about them because if you don't they might be dead is not normal and needing to understand every step of the process and why it is that way is likely also because of OCD but that's one of my nicer compulsions.
It annoyed me especially when a sister of mine claimed to have OCD when she was just a neat freak and my family just made light, calling her the OCD one of the family while collectively making fun of me about my compulsions when I was 11. The textbook symptoms made me a freak to them.
It feels so cathartic and liberating to hear someone say the intrusive thoughts out loud , thank you so much. God it's so hard to even write a comment I'm so scared of not saying the right thing, contributing enough, coming off the wrong way or somehow rude like even how, it makes communication so hard I stutter just from doubting every single word and way to say anything or to say it at all and it feels so life or death . I had dialectic behaviour therapy , and I'm on above commercial dose of Zoloft, and still all I can do is identify the OCD thoughts and sensations as they come up. You'd benefit from DBT , it's life changing. For me it was for BPD but it also greatly helped me manage my OCD
I feel such a similar way! I've honestly tried to reply to some of the comments but I keep second guessing myself on whether or not they'll even care or if the comment makes me seem uneducated or whatever. Its such a struggle dealing with these kinds of things especially when I don't even trust myself in what I'm saying but I'm happy to have found others who relate and have to deal with these same struggles.
oh my gosh talking about intrusive thoughts is SO hard bc you dont even want to vocalize them in my experience, like that's enough to trigger the paranoia
@@daisysb444oh wow, I never realised my overthinking about what to say was a shared thing. Thank you for mentioning this.
I don't have ocd but I do have ADHD, and I can really relate to a lot of the things you said about misrepresentations in media. mental illness in general is is misunderstood by people outside of these disorders, and it can feel so frustrating and isolating to see something that has caused so much pain and stress in my life be simplified or portrayed as a cute little quirk. if you're looking for some good mental health representation, I recommend the book "turtles all the way down" by John green. thanks for this video and for your openness :)
i have ADHD too as well as social anxiety and yeah it really frustrates me. i just wish i could see myself in media so i could feel understood
Turtles All the Way Down is amazing oh my god-
thanks for making this video queen !! my ocd had me convinced that i was a terrible person at 6 years old & when someone told me 'dogs can sense bad energy/ppl', i immediately developed a fear of dogs bc i was so sure they would bite me bc i was 'a bad person'. long story short, i am a cat lover now. *disclaimer: this is literally the most minor thing compared to how ocd has really affected me but were not gonna trauma dump in a youtube comment section lol.
Consider exposure therapy with shelter dogs who need attention and love and to alleviate boredom while they wait to get adopted.
!!!1
As someone thinks I possibly could have OCD and obsessively worries about “faking” it or that I’ve convinced myself I have it and don’t, this was a very validating and insightful video!
This is super common. I’m glad you found her video.
@@salishanmusic .... i have adhd and im constantly worrying i dont have it even thought ive been professionally diagnosed.
i relate to a lot of the things that i’ve heard are ocd “symptoms” (i don’t know if that’s the correct terminology) and there are some things about me that definitely aren’t normal, but also i’m worried that i’m over exaggerating and making everything up for attention, and i agree that this opened my mind a little
OCD IS NOT FUN or a f%ing blessing, Compulsion, perfectionism and frustration is extremely exhausting, then add my severe adhd and then Bam💥
I have never thought to have ocd because ocd is not like they portray in the media or tv, it’s completely different.
That is until the physiatrist said I have it and then I really thought about exactly what it is and realize why I was so frustrated
ITS MAINLY ALL ABOUT COMPULSIONS for me at least I obsess about everything to the point of frustration or it’s better I don’t know about things or else I obsess or overthink things, not exactly the repeating part for me.
A good example is if I play a game and it isn’t a perfect run then I tend to restart the entire game. It’s a cycle until I get bored and never finish the game
I have never finished Skyrim
@@sshhrimpp6375 watch a few videos by people with OCD about their experience, maybe read similar things. Honestly I've found that sort of thing helped me most in figuring out I'm autistic, ADHD, ocd, and have PTSD. Because it's so easy to read symptom/trait lists and overthink them and convince yourself that either you definitely have or don't have something. Seeing what people who have that experience talk about what it's like is much easier to realize "oh, I don't relate to most of this" or "oh, man. This is too relatable. I should talk to someone about this..."
I spent so many years going "oh, sure I'm a bit obsessive and I have compulsions, but I don't have OCD. It's not that intense. It's just because I'm autistic and ADHD"
And then I heard more about people who had ocd, am dating someone who is autistic/ADHD and not ocd so they can tell me "no, I don't ever think/feel that way", and I still kinda dismissed it because I have so many other mental and physical health problems to worry about...until I had a minor surgery and had a breakdown because of the obsessive worrying about the stitches and compulsion to remove them myself which I eventually gave into because other people kept dismissing my worries. I mean, I ended up being ok and honestly don't regret it because they were causing issues and really bad irritation, but it was a big wakeup call. Over the years I've learned to differentiate what different breakdowns feel like based on their cause and I was like "ok this wasn't a panic or anxiety attack, an emotional flashback, an autistic meltdown or shutdown from being unable to process a situation from too much input or from plans changing and not having a chance to think about and process things ahead of time, or an ADHD breakdown from over or understimulation... This was an intense obsession that caused a compulsion that got too intense to resist until I gave in and then immediately felt better...I need to talk to the psychiatrist when I have that call next week..."
And the psych went through the diagnostic criteria with me and I gave examples for everything and he was like "yup, you meet the diagnosis. You have a lot of mental diagnoses already though, and physical disabilities, so I'm going to put in your notes that you have anxiety and depression with obsessive and compulsive traits. That way you won't have doctors dismissing your health problems as just ocd hypochondria, which unfortunately some do. No, it's more important that you get taken seriously by doctors than having an official diagnosis."
He also suggested Zoloft, which has been my best anti anxiety/depression med so far.
It's also helpful with some ADHD and autism stuff, like better emotional regulation and less intense impulses/compulsions. Like it's a bit easier to deal with having to do something a bit different from normal when it's a routine I find comforting re:autism.
I'm not any less autistic or ADHD, lol, and I wouldn't want to be. I just have more control over what makes me upset, like how my ADHD meds make it easier to task switch and remember things, but they don't make me less ADHD. I still hyperfocus, my brain goes zoom, I jump between topics in conversation, etc. Y'know?
Anyway I'm a big fan of it. My partner (ADHD/autistic) tried it as a teen and it made them suicidal and did not help, but their mum (autistic/ocd) finds it works well for her (she's also on Wellbutrin like me! But not on ADHD meds because the ADHD is from their dad's side). Antidepressants work differently for different people and this is just one that works for me with the bonus of being good for ocd as well. If you ever try it, make sure people close to you know about signs/side effects to watch out for when you start it so they can call your pharmacist if there's anything worrying and they can advise on whether or not to stop taking it.
That's actually how I deal with new medication anxiety/paranoia. I ask "are there any side effects that this can cause that I SHOULD be concerned about, or ones that I should talk to you or my doctor about if they persist for more than a week or a month?" And then I make note of that and when I'm freaking out over side effects I've noticed I can double check the list and go "oh, ok. This isn't one of the dangerous ones. It's one that will probably go away after a week or so and won't actually hurt or kill me"
I actually never thought my huge fear of pregnancy was a thing caused by my OCD until now. Thank you so much for talking about it, especially for someone who's newly diagnosed
the tipping point from my OCD was at christmas last year. i’m a uni student so i was at the christmas market with my housemates and i made eye contact with a kid, and i thought i was going to jail. i had a full blown breakdown and couldn’t do anything. i was so sure that smiling at a kid made me a monster. i had to go home, i sobbed my heart out as soon as i got home and my mum could not calm me down. it’s not fun. it’s terrifying, makes you paranoid and ruins your life.
So are phobias considered OCD
? *
@@RyannMaebabayno
Thank you for speaking up about this! It’s so upsetting when people turn mental illnesses into trends online and just joke about it when they don’t know the half of it
i really really appreciate you talking about this because living with OCD is so so hard to deal with daily. it’s even harder when people misuse the term and belittle it and don’t care to learn what it’s like to deal with this. like you said it is SO isolating at times and can really make you question your reality and morals. i wish people realised its not just something you can get rid of by thinking happy thoughts or getting reassurance, the symptoms of this disorder are so widespread and can cause so much shame and anxiety. videos like this are so important 💖
I appreciate you opening up about the skin picking struggle as well as your OCD. I struggle with OCD but also struggle with hair pulling (similar to skin picking) or trichotilomania. It took me awhile to realize how these two things feed off each other, and then add my severe eczema to the equation and it’s misery. Being aware is the first step and it’s good to hear other people’s experiences.
It's so hard, keep going!
you got this!!! skin picking is a huge manifestation for me. it got to the point where i had open wounds all over my hands and people were scared to touch me, which just made it worst. coming to terms with it and figured out ways i can cope with it really helped
I have Trich too!!!!!
i feel you!! i actually got diagnosed with trich at a super young age and for the good majority of my life separated the compulsions from the obsessions and only really recently kinda reconciled the two as the same thing and realized that my ocd was far more than just pulling my hair out. It really let me find a community in other people with ocd by acknowledging that it's more than just what people can see.
I’ve never heard someone else having a compulsion to tell the truth like I have. It makes me feel less alone. You also opting to not discuss the full extent of your OCD made me feel good too, because there are obsessions and compulsions I have that I won’t even talk to my therapist about and while it’s sad we deal with this, I’m glad I’m not completely alone
Your cat’s purring was truly adorable. I even skipped back to listen again. 10/10
A cat’s purring has actually been proven to increase heart health slightly and decrease anxiety greatly. Cats are just all around the best most adorable goofballs this world houses
I have bipolar disorder, and I totally resonate with the stigma of talking about it. People like to throw around the word bipolar, claiming that their bipolar bc they're having a little bit of a moody day, are PMSing, or other things like that when they are simply not mania. mental illnesses are not cute! they are not a trend! my life gets thrown off the rails when I'm manic! Nothing good happens from being depressed! Yes, I clean my room when I get manic, yes I actually get to do things sometimes when like that, but I was so offended when someone said "You get things done like that? Damn I wish I was manic!" No you don't, you simply don't. I snap at the people I love, I'm prone to risky behavior, I can't focus on anything. Mental illness is not desirable. Mental illness is not cute or trendy or funny. It sucks.
I know this video is about OCD, and I certainly don't have OCD, but I do have similar experiences when it comes to experiencing the misuse of my illness and how people think it can be cute or good for the person when in reality, its debilitating. It sucks. I have to take 3 medications just to function.
I’m sorry you have to go through that, I don’t personally have bipolar, but my sister does. And it makes me personally upset when people make light of it in the way you explained, and I’m not even the one dealing with it!
I just commented something so similar. As someone with bipolar as well this is so real.
i saw people using bipolar as like a cute thing, self diagnosing and thinking it’s quirky it’s so bizarre because bipolar is not a pretty or easy thing
Let’s also talk about the fact that people throw the word “bipolar” around Willy Nilly when anyone’s mood changes in the slightest or after you finally open up to someone about your diagnosis and then you are happy and they go “are you manic?”. Like we aren’t allowed to show emotions or we are in an episode.
girl i feel you with getting offended when people self diagnose. I don't have bipolar and I can't imagine how difficult it must be to live with it, but I used to get soooo pissed off when i finally opened up about my struggles with ocd just for people to go "oh i think i have that too" or "oh thats so nice you must be so clean and productive" like NO YOU DON'T HAVE IT AND ITS NOT NICE. like you completely ignored the fact that it makes my life a living hell.
Obsessive
Compulsive
DISSORDER
Being organized and thriving on routines doesn't mean you're OCD since these things don't disrupt your life. How hard is that to understand 😒 Thanks for spreading accurate information
LOUDERRRR
I don't have ocd, but I suffer from other chronic mental illnesses and I can tell you, it's crazy how similar all mental illnesses are stigmatized and treated socially. I love seeing vids like this where people actually explain a mental illness and I believe talking about it is not just helping people with ocd, but also people with depression, bipolar, schizophrenia, personality disorders and every other mental illness. thank you for being open abt your experiences. you're helping every person that suffers with mental illness.
it’s crazy bc so many are stigmatised heavily and simultaneously trivialised. often there’s an implication that people choose to have what they have :/
Thank you for this video. As a mental health professional I hope more people watch this and stop labeling themselves as an OCD patient just because they like to organize their clothes by color, because it’s harmful for people who are suffering every day ❤️
i am literally studying for my year 12 psychology exam right now and the basic bottom line of a psychological disorder is that it causes distress, dysfunction, and deviance from so-called "normal" behaviour.
This video is a huge eye opener. As a psych student, I’ve had difficulty really understanding just what OCD was but this really broadens my horizons. Thank you for sharing your experiences. :)
If you ever have any questions about OCD, feel free to ask! I don`t speak for all of us, but I did have ``one of the most debilitating cases of OCD`` according to my OCD/Tourette`s specialising-psychologist, and I am interested in going into Psychology
I was diagnosed with OCD and panic disorder about two weeks ago and stumbled across this video and I don’t know if i’ve ever felt more validated and represented. thank you for making this video
Thinking of you!!🥰OCD is so hard but you're not alone
I was also diagnosed with OCD and panic disorder (3 months ago). i wish you well.
diagnosed about 2 months ago and this video and the comments (including yours!) have made me feel much less alone
From the viewpoint of a newer therapist in the field, this video was very helpful in sharing ways OCD can manifest that we don’t always see in the DSM5
As someone who got misdiagnosed for YEARS, I have major beef with the DSM5 for not including examples of common self reports from people with the conditions.
My dream is one day creating a companion reference app where self-report from diagnosed individuals can be aggregated for therapists bc maybe I wouldn’t have received so many incorrect diagnoses. And it also takes the power out of the questionable hierarchy of decision makers behind the DSM who routinely make decisions that contradict the findings of experts in some of the fields (you can read what Bessel van Der Kolk and other trauma experts have to say about how the board members handled updating trauma related DSM entires if you hadn’t heard of this & you’re curious to learn more).
I don't have OCD myself but a few of my friends do and one time one friend was feeling absolutely terrified and ashamed due to some of their intrusive thoughts. They ended up telling me about the thoughts (at least, some of them) and it opened my eyes more to how frightening and shameful the disorder can actually feel. I really appreciate your bravery to continue speaking on it as an ~OCD influencer~
and it’s not like “oh I have to do this” it’s the intense, skin crawling, mouth drying, wincing, extreme need to satisfy whatever compulsion. It’s ruining relationships with people because suddenly everything revolves around fixing/doing that one thing. It’s sitting on the floor in a ball in the dark hoping you don’t perceive anything that could trigger a compulsion. It’s absolutely debilitating
My friend in high school gave a ten minute speech on OCD. Her experience with it and the way she dismantled the stereotypes was eye-opening. Ever since I have stopped people who jokingly say "oh it's just my OCD" because I know now how difficult the actual mental illness is. Thank you for sharing your experience and informing all of us ❤
I'm going through a hard time with OCD right now, and am going to therapy for the first time next week. It feels so isolating when your thoughts don't make any sense to you - it's really comforting to know other people understand what you're going through.
you’re making the right choice!! you will be so happy with your decision 🕺🏻
@@NicoleRafiee thank you, it really helps to hear that 😊🤍
update? im very proud of you for seeking help that mustve been terrifying. i belive in u
I think that's how I ended up hacking it. I realized how much of the trouble I was going through following the compulsions was for nothing. The consequences of not following were either not real or unseen. The consequences of following however, were real. Like getting ridiculed by family on tape.
Words cannot fucking explain how much euphoria and relief I feel when I see you posted about this subject again. I finally get to hear someone who understands exactly what OCD can do to a person, I finally get to feel seen. Thank you a billion times thank you. You meme about it but this is unambiguously a service to the ocd community. Much love!🖤
hey, not sure if you'll see this but im 16 and seeing this actually made me tear up!! so comforting, i've struggled with ocd for as long as i can remember and felt so ashamed. Seeing people i respect so much speak up is always so amazing!!
I have ocd and intrusive thoughts are not what people make them out to be in jokes. More like sobbing in front of my classmates because I can’t stop thinking of doing violent and grotesque things to the innocent. Had to be homeschooled at one point because it got so bad I would cry all the time. Now, I am medicated and still have the thoughts, still scared of them, but I’m able to ignore them and move on for the most part.
Oh. And ocd doesn’t make you quirky and organized. I am a very unorganized person. The ocd didn’t fix that- it did however cause me to wash my hands so much they were literally rotting and I had to have them wrapped to avoid staining furniture in blood. I HATE when people think it’s just “hehehe I like to color coordinate things”
I was recently told by my therapist that I have OCD (it was an unofficial diagnosis, but he said I fit all of the criteria for OCD) and it has been a rough month since then. This video helped me so much and it was really nice to hear your perspectives and experience with OCD. I've also been dealing with the fear that I'm faking everything and that I don't actually have OCD (which I think is literally just my OCD talking) and hearing your experience validated a lot of my experiences with OCD, especially now that I'm starting to become more aware of how it affects me. Your videos have been so helpful ever since I found you during quarantine, and I want you to know how much of an impact they make. Thank you for this video and being so open about this very real and debilitating disease, it means more than you could ever imagine 💞
I've just had the same experience, and I also hold the fear that I'm fabricating all of my symptoms and intrusive thoughts, I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone in that, because I've been struggling a lot with feeling like a bad person for possibly making symptoms up. I hope you're doing well.
yes! i just recently found out i have ocd, and a lot of the symptoms don’t match up with what i have experienced (counting things/having insanely scary intrusive thoughts) i have some kind of sound tick (if i don’t make a certain sound or say something, i will start spiraling about not saying it and feel really uncomfortable) a skin-picking disorder, and i obsess for weeks to months about stuff (like a tv show or a band, it’s all i think about) so i just wanted to say you’re not alone, and thanks so much for helping me feel less alone in feeling like i don’t actually have this disorder! ❤
i don't want to seem entitled & change the subject to my own mental disorder, but i heavily relate to you & the comments when it comes to this matter. I have ADHD, & I can relate to the fact that people who don't have ADHD think that when people talk about their struggles with ADHD, that they're over exaggerating it all. Back in 4th grade, I was struggling to memorize my multiplication facts, and so I got a multiplication chart. The fact that one year later, I found out that my own friends talked shit about me getting "special attention" by getting a multiplication chart. Finding this out a year later because my friends didn't have the goddamn courage to talk to my face, and the fact they were even talking shit about me getting a multiplication chart, is infuriating. Shouldn't you be grateful that you don't need one? Aren't you glad you have a "normal" brain, and can actually do the work? And guess what? These same "friends" that had some sort of problem with me getting a multiplication chart, now all think they have ADHD just cause they space out sometimes. People who do stuff like this are so incredibly ignorant and LUCKY that they only briefly imagine that they have any sort of mental disorder, just because they slightly conformed to the stereotype for half a second. If anybody read this, thank you so much! If you have OCD, ADHD, etc, I hope you can relate! & thank you Nicole for bringing this up.
Thanks for talking about the topic, I know people get pretty weird about the disorder.
It's also such a punch in the gut when I scroll into a video of like art or crafting and a person redoes something because"they're OCD and it's not even I can't handle it" . I have diagnosed anxiety (among other things) and was also told I had compulsive obsessive behaviours but I don't think it was enough/severe enough to be diagnosed. One of the things I do, which I guess gets triggered by anxiety, is when I go shopping, I have to constantly check my pockets. Like. I stand in the middle of shelves at the store patting my pockets or unzipping my bag and touch my wallet. Sometimes multiple times during a trip. Sometimes I just stand there patting my jacket pocket mumbling wallet wallet wallet wallet for minutes. Another thing that I've been managing better lately is washing my hands every time I touch an animal. And since we own cats, that's very often throughout the day. I can avoid the anxious rush to the sink by only petting animals with the back of my hand or my knuckles. The washing urge is mainly triggered by feeling like my palms or fingers are "dirty".
Geez, GH is really not doing the mental health community any favours, is she.
As someone diagnosed with OCD who frequently describes it as a broken record getting stuck, thank you for being so open about your experience with it. Seeing media representation that resonates or finding people on the internet who also have that shared experience is always so important. Just because I have some cleaning compulsions does not mean that it’s more “palatable” or not disruptive. That’s ignoring the other harmful and extremely distressing and debilitating experiences OCD also gives me. It always bothers me when people use OCD as an adjective and recently, I’ve been correcting people who misuse impulsive and intrusive thoughts. They are VERY different
As someone who has a sister with OCD, I hate seeing people misuse the term. I have seen how much it has affected her so when people make it seem like it's something smaller than it is it makes me want to slap them. It's such a misunderstood mental disorder. Thank you for bringing awareness to it.
i also developed tics as a side effect from my antidepressants. it was so scary because it happened so out of the blue and hurt so much. i really appreciate you for telling us about your experience, i feel like i have a lot to think about
This video really resonated with me. I used to think that people saying “I’m so OCD” was harmless. I got diagnosed with OCD when I was 19 and was so convinced that my PROFESSIONAL PSYCHIATRIST was the wrong one because I didn’t have the kind symptoms that media portrayed.
I let OCD run my life for a decade before getting help because my current psychiatrist told me what OCD actually was.
same here 😭 but unfortunately/fortunately i had a bad enough and obvious enough compulsive episode to reevaluate fairly soon after. been medicated for about 2.5 months and i’m doing so much better already ❤❤
The misrepresentation of mental illness in media and popular culture leads to so many going undiagnosed.
I’ve been struggling with my OCD and agoraphobia really bad for the past few weeks and I’ve been feeling like a terrible person for not being able to make it to work. It’s so comforting to know that someone else understands. It’s been hard but today I made it to the parking lot of my work before breaking down so progress! 🎉🎉
Also I completely relate to not realizing I had OCD. I’ve been going to therapy on and off since I was 15 and I just got diagnosed at 20. I truly didn’t even think that it was an option because of the way it’s portrayed. I’m so grateful that tomorrow I have a consultation with a specialist. This video is so important. Thank you 💖
in 9th grade i was officially diagnosed with ADD and OCD and i told my friends in wrestling about it, only to have one of them come up to me the next week and take a lint off my shirt and say “sorry i need to take that off. i have ocd.” as if it’s some cute little quirk to like things neat 😍
smh
it feels like there's so much i could say. i don't want to put out there all my mental intricacies and i don't have the energy to get into how frustrated i am with the internets commodification of therapy speak and terms for mental illnesses on a year old video. frustrated and looking forward is how i'm feeling, i guess. don't have insurance currently, but once i figure that out, i hope i can look into this. was in cognitive behavioral therapy for a couple of years until i turned 26 in february and was certain it wasn't helping me, but was encouraged to keep going because i might have a breakthrough and i ended up going anyway because it was at least nice to get *some* of my thoughts out to someone every couple of weeks. idk if i'll be able to see a specialist in the near future, definitely not any time soon, but i hope i will one day. so glad i found your channel, you've made me finally decide to actually look into and seek answers for what's happening.
Not diagnosed but I’ve been heavily suspecting that I have OCD for a long time now.
Maybe trigger warning:
One thing that I was so scared of telling people was whenever I hear a case of child sx abse and they mention details, images keep repeating in my head over and over no matter how much I think of something else. I thought that I had something wrong with me. Until I took AP psychology in high school and we watched a documentary. A lady described the exact same thing and the sigh of relief I felt. But in a different way, I was so scared.
I have always had a ritual every night before I go to sleep. Curtains in front of my mirror, all my devices plugged in, all my stuff in my backpack, and the most important one was to make sure my window was closed. I don’t know why or how this came to my mind but if I slept with my window open, something bad will happen to my family. I remember sleeping in a 90F room and when I woke up, I thought that I actually died because I was so lightheaded.
And I cannot EVER think about anything bad happening to my family, even if it was going to happen. I can’t even say it here.
When my great uncle (who I wasn’t even close with) passed, I kept thinking that I didn’t do something properly. I kept thinking about it for weeks and my ritual amped up to me checking everything over and over again. I can’t sleep.
Sometimes I impulsively do things like yelling at my parents to not go somewhere because I’m so worried that something bad might happen on the way.
I can’t be around knives because I’m so scared that I might snap and hurt me or my family with it. I can’t even cook as a college student.
The biggest hint that I might have OCD is when I was a child, when we find a good day, we should repeat whatever we did that day for the rest of our lives so nothing bad could ever happen. I think that’s when it started it all.
IMO you have OCD
The part where you started to talk about how “meditation and breathing can help you” really stuck out to me. As someone who hasn’t been diagnosed with anything but still feels like there’s something wrong in my head, my mom who is a social worker constantly tells me this. I have absolutely tried everything. I’ve tried ice, I’ve tried meditation, I’ve tried breathing, grounding seems to work a little better but my heart doesn’t fucking slow down. I have reasons to believe I may have an anxiety disorder or ADHD, but it’s so hard to know bc of the similarities of them…
I should mention, I have horrible intrusive thoughts. Like my brain doesn’t stfu about anything. It doesn’t matter what I’m doing I just feel like I’m gonna die at Avery moment
Something that’s only been suggested to me once by a very experienced therapist was dunking your face in a bowl of icewater for UP TO 20 seconds (I’ve wanted to go longer but they tell you not to because it can cause some damage).
Apparently it makes your system think you’re going into hypothermia, and you suddenly calm down. It works wonders for me when I’m in a tough spot and nothing is doing the trick. I hope it helps!
BREATHWORK 4 THE HEART! LIVE BREATHE EAT ALL THE BREATHWORK TECHNIQUES YOU CAN!!
Also finding meditation doesn’t HAVE to be sitting focusing on ur thoughts passing by lol that’s what breathwork is for. Mediation could be anything that brings you peace and helps u quiet ur mind (usually this is some sort of activity) immersing yourself fully into a book or working out, going for a walk or bike ride, any type of art crafts! You start to think more clearly n calmly observing yourself work.. no more victim u can do this
At one point, I was training in a martial art (getting lots of good exercise and stretching), meditating every other day, eating fairly well, hydrating myself, and I was still mentally ill, dealing with lots of symptoms. Oh, at this same time I worked at a lavender farm, too.
Sure, the meditation was absolutely helpful, but it didn’t meaningfully effect my mental illness symptoms on the day to day. I still had panic attacks, anxiety, intrusive thoughts, executive dysfunction, and CPTSD.
If you can, I hope you consider finding a therapist who feels safe and respectful to talk to.
im not diagnosed with ocd (or anything other than general anxiety really) and its so so so reassuring to hear about your experiences with it. i was especially hit by the "assuming the worst immediately" bit, i cant stop myself from thinking something horrible happened whenever my parents, siblings or friends arent on time. i remember so many occasions when i thought that my dad got into a car crash simply because his grocery trip was taking a little longer than i expected, or being so terrified of something happening to my sister when she was showering at like 5 am for absolutely no reason.
i hate not being able to eat or sleep without knowing that my family is home safe, im a grown ass dude and im still scared of being alone at night.
ocd or not, no mental illness is a "blessing" period. they can have positives if you look from the right angle, but theyre overall detrimental. thats why theyre illnesses and disabilities.
I appreciate you discussing this. It’s hard to hear people talk about intrusive thoughts and ocd symptoms as if it is a funny punchline when the reality is often suffocating and inexplicable. It’s been something that’s controlled me since I was little and I wouldn’t wish the painful and difficult reality upon anyone
This video came up on my feed and was the reason I decided to seek out help for my potential ocd. I am seeing a therapist next month to find out and seek resources. Thank you for being so open and vulnerable, you have made me feel so much less alone and like maybe I could live a life worthwhile. So much love to you x
when i was in 7th grade i literally thought the C in OCD stood for cleaning because of how much the two are associated with eachother. It’s so refreshing to hear someone talk about the real sides of it - hopefully it’ll expand and help change the stigma that OCD is just being really clean
I tried to explain to a girl in my class what intrusive thoughts felt like and she kept saying she had them too jut cause she wanted to dye her hair blue every once in a while
UGH
watching this video makes me feel so understood, seeing people who have similar struggles to me is really validating since i cant often get that from others. seeing someone else who is persevering despite having ocd gives me hope with my own ocd. thank you.
Your openness about your mental health has been very therapeutic to me and I really appreciate you! ❤
YES THE PREGNANCY ONE IN PARTICULAR IS SUPER RELATABLE!! I struggle with others as well but this one has been one of the biggest fears of mine and I can't even use the bathroom normally without having to do a whole ritual before I sit on the toilet seat because the fear of getting pregnant is so strong
I think that thinking your OCD is a “blessing” and how much it “helps” you have a better life it’s a symptom of OCD it self, because you may feel a lot of anxiety all the time and then so much relief once you do your rituals that you may think it’s helpful but you are only giving more into it, and with time it can get worse and you may not see how much it’s affecting you because you are so focus on getting that anxiety relief, it’s like an addiction, the first step to be better it’s to accept that you have a problem and sometimes OCD patients may not even understand what is the problem
Idk I never felt relief from my rituals ever. How ever many times I carried out my compulsion NEVER felt like it was enough.
If she really thinks it's a blessing, it's not OCD.
Thank you so much for being so open in sharing about your ocd. I think it really helps to see people with a platform talk about these things and support others by talking about it.
My ocd has always been tricky for me because I had the obsessions and compulsions extremely strong as a kid, but when I had my compulsions I didn’t have any sort of narrative in my head of “I have to do this or ____ will happen”. Instead it felt (and still does) like this sense of impending doom that caused a lot of heightened anxiety for me. I still have compulsions (having one right now while typing this, where I have to type the letter d repeatedly at certain points until it feels right before I can continue). It has always been a part of ne and I’ve grown used to it. I still notice it get worse if my anxiety is bad, but less and less as I get older.
you have literally brought me to tears. this is my first video i’ve watched of yours and i’m so excited to watch more. i don’t know if i have ocd, probably not but my anxiety is crippling at times. i think you’ve convinced me to go back to therapy.
thank you so much
opened up to a close friend once about my intrusive thoughts and she thought i was disgusting and stopped being my friend, even though i had explained what an intrusive thought was. its so stigmatized its ridiculous
omg thats so stupid, you cant control intrusive thoughts, like thats kinda the whole point?? probably a good thing she stopped being ur friend tho. she doesn't seem like a lovely person. u deserve better
the beginning of this video made me remember this: when I was first diagnosed with OCD (like... two months ago) I told my friends and they were all individually like "duh? haven't you *been* diagnosed with this?" and that's when I realized I was the last person to find out I had OCD
It’s always lovely to hear from other people who have been through this. I have been doing better but I feel it starting to get worse again and I I’m so scared of going back to that place but it always helps to be reminded just how serious this actually is and that I’m not weak for going through this again. Thanks for the video
nicole, i SO appreciate you opening up about your experience with OCD and the “bad” parts of it. hearing you describe what you’ve went through and what other people do made me feel seen. 💖💖 i always used to think that there was something wrong with me because of my obsessive, compulsive thoughts. i am getting better day by day though!! thank u for using your platform to talk about something that is typically so misrepresented on the internet.
i've been suffering with extreme intrusive thoughts lately that makes me feel like im going CRAZYYY and i have a suspension that i might have OCD because i have a lot of other signs so i might consult a therapist but your notification made laugh it felt like a personal attack lmaooo😭
i also have a mortal fear of pregnancy, and it's just really nice to hear someone else admit that
Thank you for talking about this!! OCD can mean so many things, and the disorder can change so much for an individual throughout the course of their life.
Your description of OCD really hit the nail, and it is nice to know that others feel that way. I actually originally came across what OCD truly was and that I related to it (from years of misrepresentation in the media) through Good Mythical Morning; Rhett and Link’s song called “My OCD” was a spoof of how media portrays OCD and they’re video was a simple explanation of what OCD actually is, and I am forever grateful that I was able to be sent on a path to a better life through a goofy song.
i love you so much for this. i mean if you needed to stay private i’d still love you, but you help me feel so much less alone. i was 3 when i was diagnosed by my pediatrician, 5 by a psychiatrist, and 6 when i started medication. i’ll be 27 in a little over a month and you are by far the most honest and relatable person (or character) i have *ever* had the pleasure of “knowing.” when i was a teenager i read that amanda seyfreid has gruesome intrusive thoughts but up until that point i felt completely alone. i still do most of the time. i also formed an identity around being the most “plagued” mind/person. ocd f*cking sucks!! so many of the things you’ve said i’ve only felt myself. i’ve never heard anyone but psychiatrists or my one friend with moderate-severe ocd mention. p*dophilia, harm, existential, relationship, and scrupulosity/religious ocd are never talked about in any media i’ve ever consumed. if it is it’s on like criminal minds and ocd is the reason us ocd ppl are s3rial k!llers. like wtf. ppl with any type of phobia from ocd whether p*do, harm, or others are *scietifically/statistically* the least likely to act on these fears bc we’re scared out of our f*cking minds that we’re “bad” or “dangerous” people. we’re not! at least not from our ocd.
bc of the intense stigma, especially being a kid in therapy and on meds in the 00’s i have an insurmountable amount of shame. some is from trauma i experienced as a victim of circumstances and other humans but at least 50% of the crippling shame i’m still working through. is from the *trauma that is ocd.* gestalt therapy had helped me a lot the past couple years. i did cbt and exposure on and off from age 5-22ish.
i have so much more to say but i’ll try to wrap it up. thanks again for every time you open up about ocd and mental illness in general: currently healing my skin from a skin picking episode on sunday. my holy grail kb gbr and my main anxiety medication finally getting filled to the rescue.
ANYWAY. ILY. you are so f*cking appreciated. oh and that broken record thing? my whole damn life but with multiple (as i’m sure you’ve unfortunately experienced.) i really believe it can get better for you! the last few years my brain has been (most of the time) the quietest i’ve ever experienced. i truly feel like i didn’t inhabit my brain or my body until my mid-twenties. it’s so overwhelmingly comforting to finally be “home.” 🖤 xoxo
p.s (my ocd is kicking in still after that obsessive/compulsive overstate above. 🙃) i started watching you before you were diagnosed bc you’re legit one of (if not my) favorite creators and individuals i’ve ever come across online or irl tbh.
there are so many of us in your online corner rooting for you. thank you nicky nasty 🖤 though i am sorry you have to experience such an eternal mindf*ck.
@@alienpotatosquid7850 i relate to this so much. i was diagnosed at 15 (now 20) and its been so hard. i have contamination ocd and no one understands like other people w ocd. there is so much stigma and shame around compulsions and ocd in general
Thank you so much for talking about this. As someone who has OCD I hate it when people act like OCD is a minor inconvenience that you only deal with every once in a while when in reality, it's genuinely debilitating and bothers me every waking moment of my life. It's great to see you using your platform to open up a conversation about it and talk about your personal experiences with it.
i really appreciate you making this video!
it seriously wasnt until maybe a year ago that i learned what intrusive thoughts were (through people trying to counter the "let my intrusive thoughts win and bought expensive jeans" tiktoks) and it changed my whole world. like i finally had an explanation for what had been going on in my head since i was a kid, things ive never voiced to anyone out of fear.
i dont have an ocd diagnosis and probably wont bring it up to my doctor anytime soon, but just knowing that it isnt my own beliefs popping up in my head has made it so so much easier to shut them down before i spiral. it does happen still from time to time, but not nearly as much as it did before.
You explain it so good, ocd is such a huge part of my life and it is so intertwined with every single aspect of my life so having people who actually have the disorder be able to share some of their own experiences and make me feel much more human so for that, I thank you
You are the first content creator I have seen that is as scared as pregnancy as I am and it feels really good. Thank you for being so open about it
Same here 💕💕💕💛
As a bipolar girlie, I feel you. The word gets flung around so casually for the slightest little mood swing. So glad that you are getting help. It makes such a difference to quality of living x
You are the first person on here that I have seen openly talk about this and I feel super seen. As someone who also has OCD it was very refreshing and validating to hear you talk about your experiences, especially since I’ve had a lot of the same intrusive thoughts and feelings. Keep up the good work girlie! 😊
Thank you so much for talking about this. As someone who has diagnosed OCD it made living life starting middle school and early high school horrible. But, i had no idea what OCD was or why i was having all of these compulsive actions (body checking, fears, invasive thoughts, etc.)
It was only when my older sister realised sat me down to tell me i might have OCD. I felt so ashamed i cried that day, but I'm so thankful for my sister to let me know what I was going through DID EXIST and that I wasn't the only one.
Now today I have been able to get rid of my more debilitating compulsions, but some still stay and new ones will pop out of no where, but this video made me feel so seen because of the difficulty i have explaining to friends and family. Thanks Nicole for educating me even more about the topic and hopefully more people will be properly informed about how it affects those diagnosed and struggling with symptoms. ❤
(This is about having ADHD, I don’t have OCD but I think it can still relate.) I’ve OFTEN got the “you can’t have ADHD! You have good grades, you don’t lose anything, you’re quiet!” And that’s literally SO fucked up??? Not everyone has the same symptoms and it affects everyone differently? It’s people like that that only spread further information because they’re either painfully misinformed or going off old symptoms and or stereotypes. Gabbie Hanna saying essentially “mental illness doesn’t exist” while simultaneously saying “you can cure mental illness with self care” only sets all of us who are neurodivergent back so much further. So like, TLDR or whatever, thanks Nicole for wanting to talk about the good/bad/and ugly about brain problems while still being candid because if we can’t be our own advocates, who will be??? ❤️
I appreciate this video Nicole. I don’t have OCD but you talked about so many things I experience too as someone with other mental illnesses and it’s so nice to hear it put into words from you. I haven’t gotten help yet but I’ve been meaning to for a while and you’ve helped me feel more comfortable today
oh my gosh, this is one of the best videos I've seen on mental health. I do not have OCD but have similar obsessions and impulsions because of my anxiety. This spiraled into an eating disorder and man when you started talking about how the stigmas affect what doctors say I related so much. Eating disorders (specifically anorexia) are stigmatized as "good" mental illnesses. When I told doctors about my condition, they would often respond with "Oh, so you just don't eat anything" or "It seems like you're just dieting and exercising." Talking about the mental health stigmas and how society thinks about them is necessary and I thoroughly enjoyed this video. Thank you.
As someone who is diagnosed with OCD, and had to go to therapy for months on end, this video feels like a warm hug. It feels comforting to know I’m not the only one out there. I agree with everything you said and I do feel like my brain is a broken record 24/7. I genuinely overthink everything and fear a lot of things to. I’m not sure if everyone has this, but I always have this voice in the background of my head which makes me do things and always makes me feel guilty for doing anything. It also goes to extreme measures like “if you don’t do this, you’re gonna regret it”, and it escalates so quickly. Honestly, I’ve had this issue since a young child, and still do this day and I just feel so lost. I just wish there will be a cure for OCD one day. And to everyone who feels like they have OCD or do have OCD, I love you and I will always love you 💗
UGH you nailed the way ive been feeling about tiktok lately. i think one of the worst things happening right now is how people are misconstruing intrusive thoughts. intrusive thoughts aren’t “lol i just cut my bangs at 2 am”. they’re chronic, out-of-character, and incredibly distressing. it’s all fun and games until someone with OCD admits that they have intrusive thoughts of harming themself or those around them, and then suddenly everyone thinks people with OCD are freaks again.
the terms people use so flippantly have specific meanings for a reason. by characterizing “intrusive thoughts” as a whim people easily give into is gross, and it reaffirms the notion the people with OCD are twisted individuals who actually want to act on their intrusive thoughts.
it’s so frustrating because people gain clout off of this but it has harmful consequences for people who actually have OCD and intrusive thoughts.
this is so affirming to me. especially because even little things make me feel so guilty because i tell myself that there is something wrong with me because i get so upset about something so small. and i can’t clearly explain why it bothers me so much but it does to the point that i’m going to cry and the people around me just say i’m asking for attention or being over dramatic.
It’s amazing how true what you’re saying is, and I’m so glad you’re saying it. I literally hate “self diagnosis” but I see these symptoms in myself now and my childhood and I have so much respect for you for sharing your experience because it educated people about what ocd really is. So many people still think ocd is just being really neat or clean and that’s it. I only ever was diagnosed with anxiety disorder and “ocd tendencies” but I relate so much to everything you’re saying
I haven't even gotten through half the video but i had to comment. Everything you said is SO TRUE. I am currently on my own mental health journey and sometimes it can feel so lonely not having someone to relate to or feeling weird about how my illnesses manifest. I pretty much also have repeated thoughts and feelings like a broken record that are hard to get over. However i do not have to preform any rituals to feel alleviated (i don't have OCD) but the overwhelming feelings and thoughts SUCK. Thank you for talking about it in a super relatable and candid way.
Also something people don't mention enough is how humbling being diagnosed and going to therapy is. I thought i was "fine just a little anxious" but then i was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder, depression, OCPD, and PTSD. I was like d a n g, there was a lot wrong with me and i denied myself for years that anything was wrong. I wish i had seeked help sooner because living in fear and mentally unwell is not living. If y'all suspect you might have something or feel like you need to talk your feelings out, seek help! You are important. You are worthy. You owe it to yourself to live a life on your terms.