are fandoms ruining your mental health?
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- Опубліковано 11 чер 2023
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hello hello lil cherubs! in today's video i dive in and talk about fandom culture, the mental health benefits, but also the mental health harm it may cause, not only for the fans - for for the artists themselves. also, does society look at fandoms with a misogynistic viewpoint? i hope you all enjoy! xoxo nikki nasty
Sources:
www.webmd.com/mental-health/f...
www.teenvogue.com/story/psych...
www.meredithlpc.com/blog/ment...
www.refinery29.com/en-us/2019...
nordmedianetwork.org/latest/c...
www.psychologytoday.com/us/bl...
www.ntdaily.com/misogyny-with...
feminisminindia.com/2021/10/2...
www.hotpress.com/opinion/sexi...
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didn't click play yet but the answer is...probably
@green mayo man🇺🇦 no bc fr and I can’t find my way out
@mayonnaiseman_Taylor isn’t even my main fandom, but I literally obsess over everything she does looking for easter eggs and clues. It’s a problem
@GreenMayoMan69_MAYO MAN?!
Y'all need to touch grass. Gen z is fricked.
@@aalynnodell9809 *fucked
The commentary about men and sports vs women going to concerts is so true.
🫵🏼🫵🏼🫵🏼
Honestly, sports I feel are inherently more destructive; concerts are art and community-building. Sports are literally screaming over adults simulating violence.
sport is art and community building@@scottbuck1572
be honest, how many horses have you punched?
sports really arent that good
You’re so brave for posting that clip of you talking on the air. Satan himself couldn’t torture that info out of me
I’ve grown up a swiftie and I never realized how misogynistic people were towards me and my interests until around these last few years simply because I was a teenage girl. But whatever the boys were into was okay.
Literally! My brother used to make fun of me for having band posters up on my wall and yet I go to his room and he has framed jerseys on his wall🧍
men are annoying but when women do this, it fvcking hurts ngl
GOD i remember when I was a warrior swiftie during the 2016-2019 era. It was HELL especially as a black swiftie. I was really in the trenches
@@ManicMaidenASMR during the Reputation era, people made Taylor feel like a guilty pleasure more than ever. As a black swiftie, I can only imagine people put you down all the time.
@@changingmind2522 I’ve been told I’m a racist, self hating white supremacist for supporting her. If they don’t bring up race then they say I’m supporting a “fake feminazi” it’s like they try to come up with different ways to discredit her and her fans. That’s why distanced myself from fandoms. I just like my fave’s post and stream their music.
as a kpop fan, im CONSTANTLY reminding myself that “no. i don’t know this person. i know who their stage personality” sometimes it’s harder than you’d think lmao
fr especially as a kpop fan since they have so much content that shows the idols personality and them playing games with each other or joking around so I really get it
same! it's actually hard especially when ur seeing all these fans literally going crazy about the tiniest things that their favs do forgetting that they're real humans not gods
REAL. and why is it so normalized as a "faze" in kpop that when u first start stanning a group you think ur gna marry them like ppl r like. "oh ur in THAT faze"😭 i fell victim🫶
SO DAMN REAL im very glad i went into this knowing that they are strangers and thank god i dont care about like literally falling in love with idols
I definitely used to have a phase where I was like in love with my idols, but I grew out of it and realized “I can love their stage personalities and the things they’ve done for the world, but I don’t know them” which has seriously helped my mental health.
The My Little Pony fandom was my introduction to left leaning, progressive political beliefs. No I will not elaborate.
proud of u
LMAO I-
this is so real
my introduction to roleplay 🫡
I thought the MLP fandom was made out of conservative people.
I’ve had a lot of fun in fandoms over the years but it probably was horrible for my developing brain to always be neck deep in tumblr fandom discourse 🤧
tell me about it
Girl when I get obsessed, I get obsessed and then I am wayyy too much into it, luckily it's only a few so my brain won't explode. But I am a HUGE reader, so I think that is one of the reasons I love fandoms.
Also I just saw that you have a channel as well!! Im going to check it out! Your video on the entertainment industry looks good!!
Same also gonna binge yo channel
@@ZyanoseBiggestFan 🥲
yes, i'm nostalgic about all my past fandoms because it was so fun and i had so much friends and there was always some drama going on. but god was it tiring staying up til 5am and shaking crying arguing with some girl
Kpop fandoms are both the best and worst things to happen to me. I've met so many people who are very welcoming and have a "we're a family and we need to take care of each other" type of attitude which is awesome, but then there are the "if you don't take part in streaming and don't buy physical albums you're not supporting them and are a fake fan" type of people
tell them to buy the kpop albums for you if they care so much
@@kaspersdiary mood 😂😂😂
I love being a K-pop fan when it comes to discussions, watching fun edits and finding new songs/albums, but the fan wars and hostility K-pop fans have for each other and other idols is extremely toxic and annoying, so I definitely agree.
@@TenderNoodle agreed, some people take things so far that they make it unjoyable for other people and drive others away from the community completely
oh my god tell me about it. feeling pressured to constantly stream and like every song that came out even if it wasn’t my taste is what drove me away from kpop eventually. kingdom was my last straw cuz i spent every waking moment stressed that i wasn’t voting often enough 😭
Anytime I think of fandoms, I think of when 1D fans hacked the airport security to see them. And how much that freaked me out
like its ok to love thier music and everything but HACKING AIRPORT SECURITY is not ok like ido love them but cmon now
I took the subway to the Eras tour in Philly and the amount of men that stood on the platforms filming us on the train or looking dumbfounded at the amount of taylor swift fans on public transportation....we were just sitting on the train in sparkly outfits.
Did you have fun???
men filming swifties as if they dont get their fsces painted blue/red/yellow or whatever and go absolutely insane for football etc
that's insane, but i hope you still had fun at the concert!
no bc they act like its such a terrible thing that you have glitter on your outfit like as if we havent seen men go and take a piss in the subway like???
Hi! I'm a psycology major and a huge fangirl for years now.This is actually the theme of my college thesis, will definetely cite this video as reference
Omg I would love to read it when you’re done. Literally would be so so cool to have a look, especially considering I’m also trying to study psychology 🤭
I already know the answer is yes, being a fan online as a 13 year old definitely altered my brain chemistry, nowadays I try not to do the whole ‘this person cannot do wrong in my eyes’, it can get obsessive
I literally refuse to look into any male celebrities too much as a rule because of this, it’s become very easy to obsess over any man I find moderately attractive (not women for some reason, probably because of the misogyny in most fandoms) and it can be very draining. Luckily I’ve successfully set those boundaries and can be a fan of things semi-normally. Being in fandoms very young definitely impacts you lol.
@@TenderNoodle thats me too but i havent been good at it. i see a male celebrity that i fall in love with and then i spend the next months thinking about only him. im doing that right now, hes in my pfp rn actually. how did you stop yourself doing it?? i need tips
@@pomegranate594 don't search his name even once. just distract yourself. that's where you start falling. good luck lol
i started doing this unintentionally - i noticed that the men i found attractive were almost always from the late 90s to early 00s, and i'd feel hurt (??) when i viewed how different they looked due to aging (no interest in older men thankfully). so i don't google their names to see their age and stuff anymore. i just add a few pictures in my pretty people board and move on
@@pomegranate594i personally realised i will never know what they're actually like. And also, they're just men, and ones with a lot of money and influence at that lmao
I have a friend that her daughter is going to be 15 soon and she was saving to send her on a student exchange program (like we did when we were younger) but her daughter decided that since she couldn't get tickets to Taylor's concert here in BR she wanted to spend the money to go see Taylor in US, my friend agreed on taking her on a mother's daughter trip to NY to see Taylor, but I feel bad honestly, like, in a couple of years she will probably regret going to a 5 day trip with her mom instead of a year by herself having new experiences :(
as a severe fan of spiderman, the fandom frightens me.
Yeah I'm a marvel and DC fan both are scary at times
As a scarlet witch stan,,, marvel fanBOYS scare me 😻😻😻
@@Killercannibal oh my god that reminds me of when i was 15 and had the worst takes on scarlet witch (which looking back on it now was completely based off of internalized misogynistic views). now she’s one of my favorites too and i’m obsessed with her lol
honestly the marvel fandom in generall is terrifying. especially fanboys that feel the need to gatekeep
Same with the star wars fandom. I try to distance myself from a good part from it. I just hang out with prequel and sequel enjoyers, they aren't usually bigots.
If I remember correctly, Jenna and Julien said once that some fans showed up at their old house on multiple occasions and that some of them were even driven there by their parents. Full adults who should know better drove their kids to what is essentially a stranger’s house.
Pewdiepie said this too i think when he and Marzia still lived in the UK(?). They legit brought a bus load of kids to his house. Really put things into perspective for me when UA-camrs spoke out about their privacy. It changed my tone perspective of boundaries at the time
I have always been in fandoms, but never for real life people, celebrities or musicians. I've always been a fan of books and shows and movies instead, it felt more comfortable to me because if I hate a character it doesn't hurt anyone because they're not real, and equally I can safely love a character knowing that they're never going to come out and say something problematic one day, seeing as they are you know... A character in a book! If I have a ship then it's not affecting anyone's real life, so it feels much more comfortable to me to obsess over them.
yeah same. When I see shit that goes down in real-people fandoms I'm glad I was into Harry Potter and not like, One direction when I was a teenager lmao
Sadly, I personally feel fandoms even for fictional have never really been a safe space either for me to participate in. I've been in both, I like both on my own time and have few friends in the media spaces but I've had some of the worst, most hurtful things come from media fandom spaces. From voicing opinions on events/characters, different head canons, and even liking 'villainous' characters media fandom spaces are not removed from doxxing, hyper-policing on characters 'identities', and obsession [usually paired with ships/HC] that it creates an interesting overlap between RFP/Idol fandoms and fiction where spaces that are meant for enjoyment no longer are safe. Watching a game come out with a gender neutral MC [for people to project] and having people make their own interpretations only to nearly get harassed out of not even a week old fandom because certain people didn't like the gender they made is wild behavior. Because a big problem in both cases is the self preservations and attachments that form both in parasocialism and identity coping. There is a sense of superiority in knowing the ____ better [person or story] and that whatever interpretations of _____ you formulated is the right [watching a live stream vs backstory of a character]. Or often the amount of harassment creators are able to get for choices in their work that divert from 'fandoms' expectations. This very much isn't to say they are the same and there aren't differences but I just personally find the flaws that both types of fandoms have often do stem from similar places in people lives and are able to hurt others in similar ways with the use of SNS.
Look at the MHA/BNHA fandom and see if you still think fandoms of books, movies & tv shows are a safe place...
@@Unhappytimeaper This is so true! Obviously there are a lot of faults in all fandoms - but in my experience (and perhaps just the niche fandoms I'm in lend themselves to a more open minded and accepting fandom because the source material is darker - for me specifically, hannibal, killing eve, strangers from hell, scum villain's self saving system) it was never AS bad as what i saw from my friends who are kpop stans, for example. There's a lot of critiques to be had about fandom culture as a whole especially when it comes to social media and how fandom users interact with one another whether its IRL people or fictional characters. I have also had people send me hate because they don't like my interpretation of a fictional character, but when the people we're fans of are not real, my response will always be "He's not fucking real! Who cares if I drew him in a pretty dress? HE'S NOT REAL!" and that usually shuts the discussion down. It very much depends on the fandom though!!
@@PickleRicksFATASSCOUSIN sorry i dont have time to watch MHA i have a girlfriend (lighthearted) (joke)
i’m a teenage girl who’s a big fan of the beatles and is in the “beatles fandom.” it’s really nice being part of a community like that which has been filled with other people like me for sixty years. it’s comforting knowing that underneath all the old men trying to gatekeep as you said, there’s still a large number of beatles fans who are teenage girls lol
Professional ex teenage girls
What are your favorite Beatles songs? (i just like to ask people this when someone brings up a favorite musician/band of theirs)
@@ElectroSwingingIt my favorites are i me mine, something, yesterday, while my guitar gently weeps, and in my life
SAMEE and sometimes i feel so like lame for being a fan because people pick on me for it but honestly it’s not too bad because i have original first edition vinyl pressings of the red and blue albums so all the men who are like “name three songs” just shut up when i tell them that
@@hellothere-bo7bnomg girlie, have you seen the live version of my guitar gently weeps that paul did with eric clapton at the concert for george?? PERFECTION! i’m a huge beatles fan, but i don’t think that i’m in the fandom since i don’t have any friends or social media so don’t discuss their music with anyone. my favourites are here comes the sun, maxwell’s silver hammer and the version of octopus’ garden from anthology 3
i was heavilyyyyyy bullied on the hunger games fandom twitter community after writing a story that was loosely based on the premise and it was so bad that it took me over ten years to write anything again lol
I love the "lol" after talking about something traumatic 😭 I'm so sorry
@@AmandaSbarros based on your name i assume we should be both speaking portuguese hi there...
@@juliapachecoguedes KKKKK eu nem prestei atenção no nome
@@AmandaSbarros os br vão dominar o mundo
it’s okay i was in the hunger games fandom for like a year but i was so into it that i had 17 different hunger games dreams and so i did a presentation at school of it in 7th grade and then got bullied for like a full year 😭
It's so unhealthy. I've seen so many unhinged teens and young adults because thought and nuance goes OUT the window when talking about their fandom and then they apply that to everything in life and that's not how life works.
I think the key here though is that they're *teens and young adults*. It takes a long time to develop good critical thinking skills, and it takes a LOT of practice. It might seem unhinged and detrimental from the other side, but these teens are practicing those skills. It's not that thought and nuance go out the window, it's that they're figuring out how to think and how to be nuanced. It's good that they're doing that work together, over things they care about!
@@madwheeze I hope so, but I have to disagree. These fandoms don't teach them how to do that, they fuel the inability to do that. I wonder/fear what side effects it has once they reach a level of adulthood where they need the skills they don't obtain through fandoms. I'm simply referring to the toxic ones, or the incredibly unhealthy. I think staying in something bad for that long does one of two things, teaches you the hard way how to grow up and chill out or makes you into an insufferable human with no ability to take nuance and critical thinking into account. It's only from what I have seen, and I have not delved into a lot of fandoms simply because of what I've seen lol so I hope I'm wrong in other avenues of fandom. I do think internet and fandom culture hold hands to create some wildly inaccurate views on what being a decent human means lol
@@Faeree That's totally fair! Absolutely there are situations where it can be really unhealthy. But that's the case for like, everything? These problems aren't exclusive to fandom: no community is perfectly good, and any part of one can cause a lot of harm. Internet fandom culture isn't necessarily more damaging than any other social culture or community that exists, it's just in the spotlight right now
I have always thought that celebrity culture and the aspect of being 'famous' as a whole is very unnatural and strange.These people have no idea who we are and if you ceased to exist they wouldn't even be aware... but we dedicate so much time to them lmaooo, We would be much better of as a whole investing that time in ourselves and in each other
People need other people to look up to, its literally how we're built
Idk how natural or productive it is to try to fight human nature
But also we need community and sometimes we can't get that in "real life", I think it helps you to get through some stuff
@@susabobus yes I agree, but the medium of trying to find that through people who don’t know you exist is what’s un natural
If lots of people like the same spokesperson there's just no way to know each fan. This has been the case since prophets, gods, oracles, kings, philosophers, bosses in big companies etc.
we love self aware fangirlies
the bravery it must have took to share the crying over fousey tube clip is worthy of a purple heart.
I'm a metalhead & we do all the same things "fangirls" do but since the extreme metal community has been predominantly male for so long it's respected a lot more than predominately female music scenes.
seeing those beatles-era fangirl videos really is so validating like wow fangirls have always been this passionate lmao they looked exactly like me watching one direction perform in 2015
girlies simply keep the world going. no one would be anywhere without them 🤷♀🤷♀🤷♀
The parasocial relationships of fandoms has been on my mind for months now and it’s terrifying like to think how bad I was with it years ago
i remember seeing a tiktok about a taylor swift fan who had a video go viral bc she was crying seeing taylor live and this podcast/radio show used her video and said her FULL NAME and like made fun out of her live on air?? insane to me because like if it was them screaming or crying if their favourite football team won they wouldn't get made fun of
the intensity of sports fandoms you talked abt is so real. a few months ago i was downtown celebrating my birthday with some friends and it happened to be game night. like an hour later we leave the restaurant and there’s literal swarms of fans pouring out of nearby bars and other restaurants celebrating. i go home and the next day it’s all over the news how some of them threw a lightpost into the river💀
Nicole you made SO many good points about women vs men ‘obsessing’ about content… you blew my mind. I put lots of effort into growing out of fandoms when I left high school to appear more mature, but now I fell just stupid for not standing up for what I used to like. I hope other girls find this video early enough to be proud of their interests and not intimidated by men looking down on them because they’re ignorant.
I was really into the 1D, 5sos fandoms when I was a young teenager, and I've found that as I've grown up, I dont tend to think about the individuals that make up the music. I think I've also gotten happier and less aggressive in doing so.
Same here
same
listen, as someone who ran a mildly successful instagram fan page for minecraft youtubers at the age of 14 (and still engages in "fandoms"), fandom culture has been both the best and also the worst thing to ever happen to me
Being terminally online with anything can be pretty bad for your mental health whether it be enthusiastically joining a fandom, politics, controversial topics, chasing trends, or being a stan for celebrities and athletes in extreme cases parasocially yet pretentiously..
My favorite user I follow in regards has to be ColeyDoesThings - there's a genuine excitement and interest to most of the fandoms she approaches, while still having that self-awareness that most who have been in fandoms have of "Yeah this is a wasteland, but this is our wasteland" sort of attitude, but there can absolutely be outliers and situations where the fandom just turned out for the worst for everyone who was involved
i think Pedro Pascal’s huge break into the mainstream has made it not only acceptable but also more preventable on and off line. I’m thinking of that video of him on the red carpet when an interviewer comes up to him and asks him to read “thirst tweets” about himself and his obvious discomfort about it. It’s definitely something that female celebrities have historically talked openly about but i think it’s also being more talked about from male celebrities as well. it’s particularly interesting and difficult when the person/ people are groups of women fawning over a make celebrity. But ever celebrity no matter their gender. sexuality, race, etc deserve privacy and respect. It’s terrible to be hated but it can also be hard to be loved
thinking back to the intense emotional distress i would sometimes experience because of fandom investment is like... girl how and why were you living that way and at TWELVE. Its okay if you miss two hours of one direction day to watch day of the doctor theyre not gonna read your tweet.
I was having a talk with my husband yesterday because we’re going to a concert tomorrow to see my favorite band that I’ve loved since I was 16 for the first time and I kept apologizing for getting so excited and I felt bad that he had to go with me because he could be doing other things or hanging out with friends. He told me “just because they’re your favorite band and not mine doesn’t mean I don’t want to go. You’re allowed to be excited and be your own person with interests. I’m excited to go with you because this is something you love”. That’s just so crazy to hear because growing up as a young girl you are constantly made fun of everything you like. I got into the NFL (go birds) because I thought I’d be more respected as a girl if I liked football. Now I like my my bands and also football so I guess both are wins?
I’m a part of a fandom where lots of fans refer to it as “being in hell” or as the media “ruining their life”. I always thought that was strange because fandoms make me happy! I think as a fan, where you start to feel like media is starting to consume your every waking moment to the point it causes you distress, it’s time to reevaluate whether or not you need a break and space away
Exactly!! I dont know what fandom you are in but i know so many people who have said that liking harry styles has made their life a lot harder. Which is a little funny to think about because it is not like you have to obsess over them or buy all the merch available. Like that it something YOU are interested in so i feel like its a very peaceful and happy place if you have some boundaries over what you like or look into.
lemme guess, supernatural
FINALLY ANOTHER HALF POLISH GIRL WHO LIKES THE STROKES😍
@mayonnaiseman_ IKR
Hey I’m an 1/8 polish girl who likes the strokes 😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀
Interestingly perfect timing, everyone stream You Should Start a Cult by Niall Horan 😂 but honestly, comparing two of the fandoms in apart of based on their fans is wild. One is huge and filled with bullies and harassment. While the other is smaller, more intimate and wholesome.
No
I was deep into fandom culture as a teen and would fixate on certain celebrities. Now I am so far removed from that and overall I’m definitely happy about it but I also feel ‘untethered’ at times without a hyper fixation. It’s weird having free time and not knowing what to think about.
ugh i'm just so glad you brought up the sexism! it pissed me off to no end that men and boys get taken so seriously for sports or manly tv shows or whatever but i would get so derided for liking anything just as much! another great video
i def deal with the hate towards fandoms every day bc surprise surprise, i’m a kpop fan. but like at this point i quite literally just ignore ppl and don’t care what opinions they have to say bc like i love these groups so i don’t need to listen to mean ppl🤭
as a swiftie i can admit we’re insane and some of the fans are like parasocialing WAYYY too hard and forget she’s just a person, but it’s also just amazing how it can bring people together and all the dressing up and trading friendship bracelets and just a lot of the culture at the concert is so cool and amazing. esp bc it’s a woman-dominated fandom i feel so comfortable (most of the time) and when i went to the concert it was just such a cool, uniting experience
Love this topic. I definitely think fans need to be way more discerning about what they’re willing to spend their money on. If you like Taylor Swift, there’s nothing wrong with that. But pleaseeeee, especially if you are a teenager or someone in your 20s still struggling with money, you don’t need to buy every single “Taylor’s Version” vinyl or merch release. And you definitely don’t need to go into debt over a concert. These celebrities are just master business people at the end of the day
I don't think anyone of the Swifties I have seen does that. Most just stick to streaming. Almost all of the time they know where there limits are. But yeah I agree. If you can't afford it then don't break your bank over it for anything regardless of which fandoms that you are in.
THIS!!! I have seen SOOO many people try and buy all the merch available whether or not they like how it looks, if its very expensive, or if they just feel the need to be a Mega fan. Like It seems alot of people lose focus and try to get these things just to flex and say that they are a better fan when they really just cant afford it or there is no reason to have it in the first place. Then they go onto say that being a swiftie or harrie has put them in debt and blaming it on the fandom or celebrities when nobody is forcing them to do so except themselves. So i feel everyone who is in this position just needs space to realize that they can enjoy this interest in a healthy way with other resources like UA-cam or spotify instead of a vinyl they cant afford
I was just telling my friend the other night that as someone who has never been in a fandom or into stan culture i feel like I’m missing out. Obviously not to the unhealthy extent but the fun silly community extent. There’s something about my brain that doesn’t allow for that to happen. Even things that I’m a fan of, I never go beyond just enjoying that thing and moving on. For example, I’ll hear a song I really enjoy and at most I’ll add it to my playlist (often I don’t even do that), but I will never actively seek out the music video or more music from that artist or look up the artist or anything. It does make for a blissfully ignorant life in many ways but I do have some FOMO about getting to be part of a community and all that.
I feel like I’m a good example of a healthy fan, I fell in love with mac millers music and what it stood for/what he stood for and plan on getting my leg fully tattooed with all of his albums as a way to support his message.
That message was he just wanted to be remembered for who he was and what he created and not what happened to him or what he became because it was worst fear; But I would NEVER disrupt his families privacy or ever try to force myself into the families life because that is way too much
I'm also a Mac Miller fan! Most Dope Forever! 💚💚💚
As someone who is a swiftie, the fandom is so inclusive but can be such a toxic place that makes you feel awful
I was a major Markiplier fan as a young teenager, until my parents got scammed by his "zwag box" thing he was promoting. That was my birthday present that I begged for too and my parents were so mad lol. I just try to remember that at the end of the day people are just people. I definitely still fangirl over some stuff, but I try to exercise more caution now 😅
this brought me back to the dark ages of my tween years and the COURAGE you have to tell us about yours is applaudable, i had so much fun watching this and remembering(suffering) the memories
there’s also misogyny from creators themselves to fangirls. i’m convinced that the sherlock creators had that entire episode dedicated to making fun of fans and their theories after the hiatus bc their main audience was teenage girls (not intellectual men) and they were salty about it. like why would you hate on the ppl getting you money, i don’t understand it 😭
I like the comparison with men being really into sport, but men are also really intense about their favourite bands.
A lot of my favourite bands are old and have massive fanbases of middle-aged men who go to concerts to relive their youths and get thrown out by security during the support act because of behaviour that for some reason never gets called "hysteria"
i’d also argue that fandom is a hobby. fanart, fanfic, analysis, edits, gifsets, it’s all very creative and intensive and puts something out into the world for yourself and others to enjoy.
I'm glad you've brought up Julian as an example of artists being affected by their fandoms. I remember seeing photos of fans (most were teens) kissing him on the cheek and think damn that's weird and he probably didn't consent to it 😬
I’ve seen videos where people ask him and he says of course or whatever but that doesn’t mean EVERYBODY asks 😟 but he’s always drunk so it doesn’t seem like he cares
@@qnnikqs I don’t think he’s drunk these days but even if he is, I wouldn’t say that means he’s into getting kissed by strangers. As someone that’s experienced a stranger ask for a hug then proceed to kiss me, I find the situation awkward and kinda gross lol
@@crispyisa I agree with everything you said. I was referring to the videos from the early 2000s. I’ve never seen anything of him with fans recently
You are so brave for posting that clip of you talking to Fousey on the radio😭
I really was waiting for someone to make a video about this, specifically, for kpop fandoms. I was out of that entire mess for about two years and recently got back into it and now I want out again lmao
I've also gone down the "found out too much about a celebrity and now it's not fun anymore" route way too many times. For me it's a type of obsession/compulsion because I did all that research to find out if they're problematic. I don't do it anymore though.
okay, i have never EVER in my life liked something in moderation. i know it's because of my mental conditions, but my fandoms have always been a big part of my identity; i don't remember not being a fan of anything, ever, and so i ended up growing up on the internet after breaking all the social media rules and lying about my birth year everywhere LOL. but still, even if things could've gone wrong, i'm very happy i got to understand the world this way. i'm glad i got to meet all the people i did, and i'm very happy with my "stan pipeline" as well.
i love being a fangirl, man. wouldn't trade it for anything.
As a stray kids ult who has witnessed hell of tiktok and Twitter antis, yes, it is
"im not a mental health professional, im just a professional" this is why i love you
Nicole's scentbird ads are the only ones I watch because I know she be smelling good
I had an interesting experience regarding interacting with fandoms from an outsider standpoint. Just a couple of days ago I wanted to buy a present for my friend, and since I know she is a fan of a particular member of a K-pop group I wanted to see if I could buy her a present relating to the member she liked. Looking around the internet and doing a little research on my own (I know little about K-pop in general, my friend mentioned her idol on occasions but my knowledge stops there) I eventually did find fan-made merch that I thought she would like. Though with how much I've heard about the general negativity revolving around obsessive K-pop fandoms, I was worried that I would be rejected to purchase their item as a complete outsider and even worse could do something that they would consider "offensive" and potentially experience the wrath of fangirls first-handedly. Turns out, all of that worrying was for nothing because the seller whom I asked if I could purchase their merchandise was probably one of the nicest people I've met on the internet, she had so much patience in explaining to me what the exact process was (it's fan-made merch, so the buying process is generally a little complicated) and reassured me that me being almost completely oblivious about K-pop did not affect anything at all, in fact she was happy to learn that I wanted to purchase their item as a clueless outsider as a gift for a friend and was very welcoming overall. It was a surprisingly positive and heart-warming interaction, not something I come by a lot in the storm that is social media nowadays lol. I think it shows that although some fandoms are notoriously known for their toxicity and I know there are extreme cases, I believe that most fans are nowhere near what some media portrays them to be, so take that for all its worth but that experience has definitely changed my bias towards fandoms being abrasive and toxic in general.
I’ve definitely been turned off of movies, shows, video games and artists/bands many times before because of toxic fanbases which sucks cause when that happens no matter how much I like something it’s always tainted I’m my mind. Its straight up ruining stuff like Star Wars, Marvel, Fortnite, Nirvana and Arctic Monkeys for me.
I’ve been in fandoms since 2009 Twitter era. It was fun and exciting. But since like 2018 it’s been sooo toxic ESPECIALLY on twitter. I’m a Doja cat and Ariana Grande fan and to stan singers especially POP singers it’s HARD.
I’ve been through so so many hate trains for these 2 artists and a lot of the hate is undeserved. I relate heavily to these women and not to look “parasocial” but I’ve been fans of them before they became mainstream. I’ve grown up with them so it hurts when people start rumors about them.
I’ve been dragged, insulted, and even doxxed because I defended them and it took a big toll on my mental health to the extent that I had to go off social media for weeks and months to recover.
Now I’m not too hooked on celebrities. I still support them but now I pick my battles.
At the end of the day it’s their life not yours ❤
I've been in fandoms since making Twitter and Tumblr accounts (circa 2013 when I was 13) and it has been both amazing and awful. I have made so many friends and connections and there have been so many good moments when a new album drops or a tv show is coming back. But there were also the moments where the sheer amount of people's opinions and unkind words sent me into anxiety spirals to the point where I would delete my apps for days at a time for some kind of relief. I used fandoms and social media as an escape and it was becoming way too toxic for my mental well-being. Since COVID especially I've distanced myself from being involved with fandoms as much as I was but I would say they're still a part of my life, just in a healthier way.
im a proud swiftie. i tell men simply to spite them how much i love taylor swift. if you show shame in your interests as a girl you just validate men's misogynistic viewpoints!
Also speaking about men and sports. I was at a Phillies game the other day and the fanboy behavior was borderline traumatizing.
It's insane what they can get away with.
I saw men screaming, yes screaming, beer in hand, at Alec Bohm for missing a catch. The anger was nuts...like Alec came into their homes and personally killed their first born child.
I ALSO saw one of the Phillies (idk who) lose it at one of the umpires and the fans ate that shit up. Cheering and yelling and all that. Idk man if a woman got that upset she would be called bitchy and that told she was overreacting
nicole i don't think you know how much i appreciate you and your content so here i am telling you thank you for you. i've been following you for a while but your essay era is your slay era and i am here for it.
thanks for bringing all this up sis,
i think as a community we feel close enough to you. there's no need of going further (privacy, IRL,...) because you always share everything very transparently and i don't think there's more to take ?
take care nicole we love you !!
I’ve been in fandom spaces for a majority of my life, I’m talking middle school and I’m 25 now and still in fandoms. It’s crazy how much things have changed but also hasn’t changed in that time. Things we considered normal then aren’t now but there’s still so much that stays the same. Thank you so much for making this video, will definitely be sharing on my stan twitter account lol
I really appreciated how you delved into this. Not many people talk about it and I completely agree about the men with the sports and the women being fan girls. There needs to be more talk about this and how it can be improved.
I'm so lucky to have not been in any fandoms with real celebrities, tho the fandoms I'm apart of had so many red flags, I tend to stay in the clean artists side
i LOVED this video. it’s so refreshing to hear someone talk about fandom issues with nuance, empathy, and understanding. definitely the best commentary on fandom culture i’ve ever seen. tysm nikki! 🫶🫶🫶
i've been part of A LOT of fandoms, and even though they brought me so many happy memories, such as meeting new people (i found your content beacuse of the strokes:D), enjoying their content and live music; i even learned english (i wanted to get ready for whenever i meet one direction, it never happened), i'd say it was also one of the worst times in my life. I was so dependent on what they were doing, constantly refreshing twitter every second to be one of the first people to know if something happened, I spent a lot of money on merchandise that I don't even look or touch anymore; it was mentally exhausting, and don't even get me started on fanwars. So... i do think fandoms ruin your mental health at some point.
i've learned to enjoy the art of artists without feeling the need to learn everything about them and join a fandom, and it's really peaceful. I think i've just outgrown fandom culture. I don't want to use the word 'maturing,' but growing up was obviously a big part of it.
ugh so much of this is so real!! especially the comparison between men with sports and women with bands. i literally got shamed out of liking 1d in middle school and for what?? also I've been there with the stan accounts and screenshotting when famous ppl followed you back / spamming dms and its so strange looking back. i like to think I'm a lot more repsecful of artists and such that i admire now but definitely not perfect.
also ive never been this early!! just wanted to say thank u for your videos, you're definitely a comfort youtuber for me & seem like the loveliest person ever. hope you're doing well nicole
I loved this video. I’m too deep in a fandom rn and I loved this perspective. Thanks Nicole!
This is the best way I have ever heard someone approach the topic and explain it from both sides and actually argument it, while still being some kind impartial (to some extent)! I really enjoyed what you had to say and it definitely hit home and remindned me of how I was when I was younger. I shared it with my friends who were in the same boat as me too.
I am lowkey scared of fandoms, of ANY fandom. Sure, I've been a fangirl (Dand and Phil were my jam) back in the day and being on twitter and have 'joined' said fandoms, but mostly because of the the artwork of the artist/content creator and what the creator had to say. Being online since I was 13 I have very rarely interacted with a creator or fandom itself, the only thing I did do on twitter was like (when it was still called "favourite") posts and retweet the creator's tweets (idk why I did that). Half a year ago I've tried becoming more involved with the fandom of a creator I like because something has happened to the them and I wanted to show support and find the so called "mutuals", but interacting with others online actually made me feel really weird and uncomfortable, so I have returned to my just being a lurker, like I have been for 10 years.
I saw one tumblr post saying that us, who grew up with the media are today a lot more chill and just keep to ourselves, contrary to what today's teens are doing (and of course there are always exceptions). Like you said, it must be connected to all these movements and the content we are constantly being fed, but some people just feel so entitled to say whatever is on their mind and do as they please, only thinking of how that would benefit themself and actually have no online-manners, if I could call them that.
Anyway, great video!
Edit: I forgot to add something that has been bothering me ever since the many subscriptions have been introduced - I feel like today, if you don't have merch of a creator or to not have payed the subscriptions to even see their content you are not "a real fan", like the whole thing has become like a "pay-to-win fan". A creator I really respect and admire said once in one of their live streams something along the lines of "I'm really glad the people who really care are getting *a limited item that was being sold alongsinde their limited merch*" like, I care about it too and would definitely get the merch because it was cute, but the cost was too great and I cannot afford that. I might have misunderstood what they said, but it just rubbed me the wrong way.
Aww the flashback to middle-school you as a young fan made me emotional. If that was me at 12 talking to my fave I would’ve hyperventilated or burst into to tears 🥲💜💜
i've been a part of a few fandoms and have engaged in them a lot especially circa 2020 when the pandemic started. although i've found some genuinely good people on there, now that i look back on that time i realized that i spent so much of my time hyperfixating on these people i "stan" and it was the unhealthiest thing i've put myself through. it affected my mental health so much that now when i see myself liking an artist or a piece of media a little too much, i try to distance myself from it as much as it gives me joy because i know the price i have to pay if i don't do so.
For me I wouldn’t say that it ruins my mental health, but certain parts of fandoms can definitely be unpleasant to be around. In middle school I was on Tumblr and it used to upset me a lot when some of my favorite characters would get hate, like Snape and Scarlet Witch for example. (Yes, believe it or not, before Wanda became a fan favorite due to WandaVision I remember seeing a lot of bashing for her character.)
What I really don’t like is when people take character bashing to the extreme and thus bring their negative energy into the fandoms. People are allowed to dislike characters, of course. But there are people who attack anyone who enjoys said character, starts attacking the actor/actress of the character, or even trying to cancel and wish death on a character (they’re not real, go outside and touch grass!). It’s honestly the strangest thing I’ve ever seen.
However, especially now, it doesn’t even feel like “Oh, yeah! I enjoy this thing, I’m apart of the fandom” anymore. People are taking their fandoms too seriously and acting as if they can’t separate fiction from reality and it’s weird. TikTok is just full of bullying FICTIONAL characters (again, they’re not real!), attacking actors/actresses, and making weird assumptions about others if you like certain things. It’s a mess. It’s not even just TikTok, but on YT I got accused of being a N@zi sympathizer because I pointed out how Snape was a gray character. 💀
Please note that I am not referring to bands or UA-camrs, but fandoms from franchises like Harry Potter, Marvel, Supernatural, etc.
The oversexualiztion of celebrities is what gets me. Morals go out the window for hardcore fans because they barely see their favs as real human beings. I’m in the [redacted] fandom and the way people talk about the lead singer frustrates me to no end. This man is real and has two teenage kids who are presumably on the internet in some capacity. Imagining them finding what people say about their dad makes me nauseous. It’s okay to love things and people, but it’s not okay to dehumanize them in such a way
Lately I've been thinking so much about fandoms because just like you I've been in some kind of fandom since my early teens. Hearing all my life that I should be interested in more "serious" things and that I'm "immature" just for liking this show or that band or that it's not "normal" made me feel so crazy and obsessed just for enjoying something. Sometimes I rather chose to not to show how much I actually enjoy something. Now I know that if there's a healthy approach, good intentions and a balance to it, there's nothing wrong with it. Your video summed it up all so nicely, thank you for creating it
i think fandom has genuinely been really good for my mental health. within a fandom of a band i have a special intrest in i met my best friend who also had a special intrest in that band. im a guy who doesnt really have many friends and i think the sense of community i found finding another autistic person i could talk to was genuinely very helpful because if we didnt share that special intreat i wouldnt be as well off as i am. also recently unmasking my autism and allowing myself to indulge in all the interests i have more recently has been amazing and the joy i feel from talking about all of my lil facts online makes me feel really good. thats my specific experience within fandoms. great vid ❤️
Didn't watch the video yet but I can say.. the answer is yes. It's so much fun to talk about your fav artists with others and be excited over new content but there is always drama which really made my anxiety worse and put me in a bad mood. Also since I'm happier in my life and don't feel depressed anymore I started to realise it's probably not healthy to be online most of the time and be obsessed over other people. I still stan a few artists and keep myself updated but focusing on my own life and not having notifications on for update accounts feels so good. (And this is just for musicians, fandoms for series e.g can be so exhausting too, I just wanna enjoy something without fighting with someone over what's canon and what isn't etc.) Also now that I'm in my 20s I'm very grateful that I didn't grow up with social media and only started engaging in fandoms very late compared to others and not in my teenage years. I had a more peaceful life than others I think.
This is like. One of the best commentaries on fandom I've ever seen. The only problem with this is that I was literally doing my essay on K-pop fandom and misogyny about two weeks ago and your video showed me so much stuff that I missed talking about, lol! But jokes aside, as a fangirl myself, it's really something to think about how we talk about and engage with the people we idolise online. having recently gotten into some super niche Korean bands, this is a question I've kinda been dealing with. Because they're super niche, it's easier to interact directly with the artist - they often see fans' stories tagging them, like posts by fans and open (and even respond to) direct messages the fans send them. Having come there directly from K-pop, where it's so common to know so much about the artist, have artists be required to share so much about themselves over live video or fan messaging apps with the artists like as part of their JOB (shouldn't be normalised and is kinda sus ngl), I really got to thinking about how I engaged with these new bands. They were probably not used to having people dig into their lives or be obsessive about them. I think I dialed back on some of my interactions or methods of engagement because I realised that even though the relationship had been parasocialed in some ways by the artist and by me, they are *real people* only recently gaining recognition and it's important to think about what that can do to a person. Watching this really put things further into perspective. Super interesting and cool video!
i’ve been the st fandom for about a year and i actively make art and interact with the community but i have deliberately mostly avoided the toxic part of it and i’ve been pretty successful the community i have i’ve never gotten hate or interacted in online arguments on my or any page and i think because of that my whole fandom experience has been the best thing ever and it’s always a positive thing for me in my life even though there are absolutely toxic ppl in the st fandom i think you just have to find the good parts of all fandoms and try to not let yourself go down a bad rabbit hole
For me personally, the best way to enjoy fandom is from afar. Take something you have interest in, share it with your close friends, and interact with fan content of that interest and share those things with your friends, heck even make content about it with your friends, because if there is a safe place in fandom, it's gonna be the place you made with the people you trust. It's why I've been a fan of homestuck for so long, it's why I'm able to enjoy things like project sekai. I don't like putting things on social media a lot, most of my online interaction is with my friends, and it's comfortable and enjoyable to participate in the things I enjoy from a fun and small circle. I like reading fanfiction and screenshotting funny tags to send to my friends, I like sharing fanart I see and memes and dubs I find with my friends, I love to roleplay with my friends and share music with them. I'm like a little bird taking pieces of fandom and carrying them away to my nest and having a good time there. Makes it easy to avoid getting too caught up in it and seeing the more toxic parts of the communities.
I love fandom, it's a whole world of creation and theorizing and groups who love to enjoy something and bond over those things. Fandom introduced me to my friends, and while I don't really jump into big fandom spaces and make my presence known, I still enjoy fandom and appreciate what's been made from it.
I'm commenting this mostly cuz this seems like a chill space, and it probably won't get much attention. Not like I'll see it anyways if it does though, I rarely check youtube notifications :>
love your hair sm, very rockstars-gf who-actually-is-the-rockstar-herself energy
honestly this is so relatable because ive been into poppy for the longest time and ive grown into someone who’s watching her interviews and listening to her music, and i never want to become a level where it effects me to the point i could make them uncomfortable’
nicole how do you make the best videos every damn time. watching that clip of you on the phone with youssef had me DYING laughing and it really drove home your point, but also the comparison of sports fans was SOOOO true and shows so much of what makes fandoms more intense and negative. thank you for acknowledging the spectrum of fans- sticking up for all of them and holding them all accountable. i cannot get over how articulate and just fun this whole video was. i'm your biggest fangirl 🤪
This is a perfect example of why I love your videos so much 🫡🫶🏼
I am emotionally attracted to the way you say "okay". The day I started repeating your 'okay' while talking to myself,.... I have never been the same again ever since, Nicole.
I would love to read the full version of these essays! If you publish that somewhere i would EAT IT UP
THANK YOU for this video everything you said is something that I've noticed after getting older. i love fandoms and i definitely use media to escape from not-so-cool things that i experience, but i also learned how to enjoy them without being completely obsessed. it's like a canon event lol fangirls are always being the bottom of the joke when they build careers, while men are always using their privileges to be crazy ass fans. your essays are amazing!
everytime you post my anxiety goes away a little bit more i am inlove with you neecole
when i was a teen WHOO BOY. thank god we didnt have tiktok and twitter was still not big for fandom so all my past crimes are lost to time and have no attachment to my face/name. although ive never been a fan of real people that much, ive always been into books/games so at least i harassed imaginary characters in my head not a real person online
This is such a great video, a nuanced take with research to back it up and presented in a way that’s easy to understand. Love it!!!
I have been explaining this to people allll my life. Thank you so much for making this video.
nicole, i love ur vids & the version of u you choose to show in them. you're the best
I've been a fangirl of mostly bands since I was literally 5 years old and it kinda stopped at 20 after 3 years of being a kpop stan, which I'm happy about. I made many fun memories and met some of my closest friends because of it but now I'm able to still be excited about my favorite artists without the ''obsession'' part. I don't really get obsesssed with the artists themselves anymore but I do still freak out about the music and I still love concerts. I would personally say that fandoms influenced me a positively a lot more than negatively because it helped me have new expriences, meet people and get over my social anxiety. When I think about how many things in my life happened which only happened because I was in some fandom at some point, it's kinda crazy. I am very happy I always stayed true to my interests even when it might have been a bit too much at some points, I would NEVER change it. People, especially men have made fun of me for it countless of times, for example recently my friend's boyfriend asked me ''so when's your next concert?'' but in a tone where I know he doesn't even want to hear the answer at all, he is literally just saying it to make fun of me. And this guy watches football every day. At this point small comments like this make my blood boil because it just shows men use every chance to put woman down for literally no reason.
Loved this video! I never really thought about this so it gave some perspective an and you made some awesome points.