@@Jackdman25 If she's doing it around you she isn't respecting your time. She cares more about what is going on online than being where she is currently. If she's always on her phone around you but taking forever to respond to you, run
@@haggs2014 I live with her, and she’s always on social media while watching movies, or other activities where we should avoid being distracted while together. Pretty annoying
OMG people, I am a 62 year old man who is married for 30 years , was married before that and had several live ins because I was always looking for that forever relationship as a young man, THIS WOMEN IS SPOT ON !!! I just jumped on to see if she knew what she was talking about , and she nailed it !!!!! Bam ! Take her advice its all true ! PEACE Oh and I'm so glad I'm not dating now in the age of social media , you all have my sympathy .
Red Flag 11- when she only ever wants to talk about herself and her life, then when its your turn to talk she either doesn't listen or cuts you off to talk about herself again.
Fight club: "When you're dying people will really listen to you instead of just waiting for their turn to speak", and even then these types don't even wait because whatever mid-sentence thought you had - not important.
13. When she shares details about your relationship with her gossipy friends. 14. When she shows no interest in getting to know your friends. 15. When she avoids meeting your parents or siblings. 16. When she never asks how you are doing or never checks-in on your mental state. 17. When she shows no interest in your career or professional pursuits.
Interest in meeting your friends can be a double-edged sword, my friend. My old man said, keep your friends and your woman separate. I've seen when she does have an interest in your friends and comes back to bite you in the ass.
1. Possessive or Needy 2. How they treat people 3. Excessive Jealousy 4. Doesn't Say thank you 5. No goals or Hobbies 6. Unrealistic communication Expectations 7. She brings up past relationship too much 8. Fresh out of relationship 9. Has no girl friends 10. She has Cheated
I been single since 2013 because I want to focus on myself and also I knew I could do better so I look every hard on myself to see what I really want just like all my relationships fall into place but good thing is learning about red flags and green flags helps alot more
I was married to a woman who had most of these red flags. Super jealous and possessive, cheated, no hobbies, no friends. It fell apart when I started RN school because I was "constantly surrounded by women" and she has spent the last 5 years trying her best to make my life a living hell. I would give anything to go back to before I met her and watch this video 10 times.
Be wary dude..if she cheated, this makes her a liar and manipulator...which means she will lie to others about you...because YOU divorced her. By doing that, the touchpaper of destruction will have just begun..she will therefore lie about you. Be ready for a continuous stream of manipulation and lies. She will no doubt begin with her ex. Read up on narcissism...NARCOLOGY UNSCRIPTED is 100% accurate. Dr.Carmen Bryant is worth watching...your world is about to change...ISOLATION is recommended...it was the first place i headed for...like an island in the sea of heavy waves. Good luck..stay strong.
Here's one. Too many guy friends that contact her way too often. They are basically waiting for you to argue with her to make you look bad and make themselves look better to either escape the friend zone or even worse take what you got. I've seen this happen to other people as well.
If that's the mentality you have, you have a lot of work to do, my friend. There's nothing noble about being a "nice guy". Learn what women respond to, what they look for in a man, but beyond all of that, commit to being the best man that YOU can be and accept 100% full responsibility for the outcomes of your actions and life's decisions. Once you learn to be true to yourself, your path, and your mission in life with unwavering determination, and once you are a strong and imperturbable man, then the women will come and your biggest problem will be choosing which ones to spend your time with. Good luck and Godspeed!
thats only if you know how to identify a crappy relationship. I learn by doing, so im kinda thankful i got into a crappy relationship because now i have the experience to not get into that
This actually helps… Cause I am with a girl that is showing none of the red flags here; but I have a voice in back of my mind that says…. Get out, pull the eject button
Great list, Courtney 😊. One item I’d add...If you keep catching her in little lies. If she regularly lies to avoid any confrontation, to manipulate you, or to get her way. You’ll catch her lying to other people for the same reasons, and if you mention it, she just blows it off. If you call her out for lying to you, she gaslights or gets angry. A lack of integrity in little things will lead to a lack of integrity in big things. It also demonstrates a level of cowardice that will make her hard to respect. Don’t tolerate lying and manipulation.
This was a very good list. I have found men learn these things the hard way and end up emotionally wounded by these red flag women and then miss opportunities with high value women because they’re hurt, bitter and unaware another type exists. Hopefully many will watch this early enough. I would add a red flag is this. If all she brings to the table are attractive looks while having eye candy is good, it doesn’t last. Another would be if she is financially dependent and believes she’s entitled to being taken care of. And maybe also a female that dumbs down to flatter-use a man and others manipulatively. Run from the eternal damsel in distress. She’s using you big time. Everyone has needs and unexpected misfortune but not every month or week right when bills are due.
About that financial dependence point, I actually do NOT mind that as long as I get something in the bargain-which is: not being sexually stingy, being appreciative and attentive, and keeping herself physically attractive; 'Do you think she'd look at you if you were poor?' 'Do you think I'd look at her if she were ugly? Fair's fair, exchange rates and so forth. Well I know she's had her this and her that... but if a man can tolerate his own past... why not a past in his wife?' -Oscar Wilde (from 'Lady Windermere's Fan') Otherwise, I agree with everything else you said.
@@marlonmoncrieffe0728 It is sad you view women as possessions you can control via money. It's sad that you apparently think money makes up for intimacy, connection, and love because if you could produce those things, your list of requirements would be different. It's sad that you think contributing financially entitles you to these ridiculous demands. It's sad that you project your own lack of value onto women. That's disgusting. Actually, you're disgusting. There needs to be video on "10 red flags in Marlon Moncrieffe" but I'm sure there are many more. Thanks for making this red flag public. Hopefully if anyone googles your name, they'll find out immediately how disgusting you are. FYI: Humans are not possessions; otherwise, its slavery. -You're exactly the representation of a reason for why feminism exists and why women are choosing to remain single. And this is why more and more women prefer to finance their own lives because if that's all your disgusting mind can bring to the table, you sir are a failure. It means men like you are weeded out and fall to the bottom where you deserve to feed. Yes, I know many women who don't care if a man is poor. They are all for building with a real respectful partner. The real issue is you think it's okay to reject a woman or discard her if she were overweight or merely aged. Please do all women a favor and leave them all alone. Just yuck.
@@suzstjohn_Z 😕 Control??? I am offering a FAIR and EQUAL trade of which NO ONE is being FORCED into ANYTHING. And when did I EVER say that I would so discard ANYONE that merely aged (as we ALL will do)? P.S. By the way, I would NOT mind a loyal woman who sticks by my side as we build an affluent life together though.
@@marlonmoncrieffe0728 human bartering (trade) or purchasing (using money to trade) is the same as human slavery. People are not for sale. You're not talking about an even remotely equal trade of intangible items. $ for human life is okay to you? Really, take that money and hire a counselor and investigate why you think it's okay to buy people and then check off qualities like she's custom ordered.
@@suzstjohn_Z 😆 Slavery?! We are CONSENTING ADULTS! She wants a stable home life and I want an attractive life partner to share it with and we BOTH have something to offer EACH OTHER. What ARE we doing that is exactly WRONG?
I agree with everything you said in this video, and have witnessed many of them in my brothers fiancée which unsurprisingly ended just recently. Not only did she show many of the red flags you mentioned but she would post provocative videos and photos on social media which isn't appropriate behaviour of anyone who would be in a committed relationship. He is young and somewhat naïve, but none the less a valuable life lesson has been learned, one of which I learned many years ago. The best bit of advice I can give to anyone starting a relationship is remain objective and don't let emotion and feelings cloud your better judgement. There is a reason and wisdom behind the adage of "love is blind".
It is also important to identify your own areas to improve. I noticed my girlfriend has a lot of these and I am a very optimistic type. Someone who loves you would not do things that knowingly hurt you. Yes, they may not have known at first but if they are aware and choose to continue, its no good. We are only in control over ourselves, our own healing and our own lives.
Courtney, this is the best video of its type that I have ever seen. To all the men out there, pay particular attention to Number 4 (Doesn't say thank you). You don't want to be with an unappreciative girl. Also, Number 5 (No goals or hobbies) probably means that she has nothing to offer and all she does is consume. She will finally consume you. Thank you Courtney!
My wife has a couple of those red flags, but she always shows her gratitude even for the little things. Nobody is perfect, but her heart felt appreciation motivated me to stay with her during the bad times.
Wondering where the summary guy is... 1. Possessivness & control 2. How they treat other people 3. Excessive jealousy 4. Isn't appreciative (doesn't say thank you) 5. No goals or hobbies(shopping isn't a hobby) 6. Unrealistic communication expectations 7. She brings up passed relationships TOO much 8. She just got out of a relationship 9. She has no girl friends 10. She has cheated (once a cheater, always a cheater)
Avoid anyone who criticizes or complains about family and/or friends. Someone with bad credit is also a very bad choice. This video hits on some good warning signs.
Great video and advice. My motto has always been, never depend on anyone for your happiness. Make sure you are happy with yourself first and that the other person is only there to enhance that happiness.
Courtney's red flags... 1.) Needy/Possessive 2.) How she treats people (especially family or service industry personnel.) 3.) Excessive Jealousy 4.) Doesn't say thank you 5.) No Goals/Hobbies 6.) Unrealistic expectations with regard to communication (i.e. wanting you to text her while you're at work.) 7.) Brings up past relationships too much 8.) Just got out of a relationship and needs to get into another ASAP. (Don't be a rebound.) 9.) Has no female friends 10.) She cheats on you My Red Flags as an addendum... 1.) Single motherhood (Widows and women divorcing abusive husbands probably get a pass. Situation dictates if this becomes red flag or not.) 2.) Smokers 3.) Alcoholics 4.) Drug users 5.) Narcissists 6.) Know-It-Alls 7.) Tries to keep me from enjoying my hobbies/interests 8.) Women that have not gotten over an ex, especially an ex-husband 9.) Excessive body count 10.) Excessive/poorly placed tattoos
Thank you for this Courtney - I have mad respect that you take time to create such videos that will better relationships all over the world. I would add to this list (though it's somehow partially covered) SELFISHNESS. This simply means when your partner always focuses on themselves, what is convenient for them and what they like. Such partners get mad when you decline to do things they want and would seldom do anything you like if they do not like it. Sometimes this is hard to detect because such people often appear 'good' and 'caring' but they do so only in order to get something from you, e.g. they may want you to go on an outing but (e.g) you're sick, they would then check whether you are better not because they care but because they want you to get better in order to do what they want. Selfishness also comes off in how someone takes interest in what you do and like in life: if your partner never cares about your interests, work or just general aspirations in life, then that is definitely not good. While we can't all like the same things we can always show interest in what our partners do and support them even though we do not do it ourselves.
Recommend not looking for something serious these days. Keep it simple and non committed. Women on onlyfans, tikthot, snatchchat, seeking arraignments, etc.
There are certainly those who are nuts to be sure. But a lot of them who men say are nuts, it's often the man who's the problem. The fem ideology has conditioned men to believe and act as if women and men are equal to the point of interchangeable. This couldn't be further from the truth. When a man expects a woman to think and understand the world the same as men, 10/10 of them will seem nuts. They're not men, they're women. They have different hormone levels. They have different levels of biological and emotional requirements. I have a mother, stepmother, 5 sisters, 4 nieces, a wife and a daughter. I've had so much estrogen around me in my early life that I fled for the military to ensure my sanity and masculinity. Men and women are different. When men and women accept this and accept each other for what, thus who they actually are, not what thus who they believe they should be, both are much happier. Women who act as if men and women are equal to the point of interchangeability are the crazy ones. There are no better women than those who know they're women and have no desire to encroach on the territory of men The same is the case for men. Do not encroach on her femininity. Respect her femininity, revere her for her femininity by understanding there's aspects of her that as a man, you will never understand on an emotional or intellectual level and that's ok. That doesn't mean she's crazy. That means she's a woman and you are not. We don't need to understand. We need to be her rock to crash on without judgment, anger or belief that we can solve the problem if we can just drill down into the logic of the situation. Because it's not about logic when they need us to be the rock to crash on and to try and force it to be, is to treat her like a man, not the feminine woman she is in fact. Women will tell us when they want a problem solved. If they don't, it's our job to shut up and let her get it out.
@@robertlackey7212 Holy shit! Now THAT is a bad sign!! I had a girlfriend who got so pissed that a couple times when she was driving her Corvette...got on the freeway and started driving and weaving through traffic as high speed. I just shut up to let her calm down...arguing/reasoning only amped her UP.
I now 100% believe in the saying "Once a cheater always a cheater!" It doesn't matter if it was only once. My recent ex told me that she cheated "only once before" but that the guy she was seeing was "abusive." I was like, "Ok, that makes some sense and is semi-justified." Well, fast forward to our relationship. I treated her like an absolute queen and she still cheated on me and lied to me for months about it. I have no doubt at some point she'll mention me to the next guy she's trying to lure into her web and she'll say that I was "abusive" or something else to justify her complete lack of ethics. A snake that bites once will bite again.
Not true. I cheated on my abusive husband. Have gone on to have a couple relationships since then, have really grown as a person, and never made that decision again. Even though he was abusive, it was against my value system and I shouldn’t have done it, so I never repeated that mistake and never will. I was 22 and in a world of pain. That isn’t me anymore.
I knew a girl that cheated on her husband. He gave her the choice of either a divorce or he would spank her with a belt. She said he showed no mercy and she couldn't sit for over a month, but whenever she thinks of cheating on him, her bottom starts aching again. They do seem to be very happy together, so I guess it worked out.
This recently happened to me with my husband … he accused me of being abusive (he was the abusive one) and as a punishment for not being intimate and for having multiple miscarriages he had me arrested for something I didn’t do … I was released without charge. It was really traumatic though. It seems he was plotting a domestic abuse scenario to get permanent UK residency. He was “moving on” way before he left me and basically cheated. I remember him telling me about his “abusive” ex when I met him - he told me she hit him and threw things at him. Now I realise that he was probably lying. He also justified cheating under certain circumstances and I was shocked by this. As far as I’m concerned there is no justification for cheating. If someone’s being abused their priority should be their own safety and well-being, not jumping into bed with someone else.
I agree 100% 👍 cause I was the girl with these red flags 😅 But I worked on myself and with ages I've trying to be more normal, mature and reasonable. Nothing good can come of being toxic.
What if he's unattractive, she's attractive (we know women won't sleep down unless serious mental issues) and they've been 'platonic' for years? Sure, he's probably attracted to her and she's hit him with the friendzone but I'm not sure whether that's a serious red flag.
...if she drops that line, she already dropped YOU like a bad habit, but is hoping to still cash in on some of your resources and attention for as long as you're willing to play the fool.
I remember one time i rejected the girl i liked because she was too drunk and she instantly told me i was like her brother. Not in a bad way she didnt got angry or anything she just dropped it as if it was normal
There is a difference between feeling jealous, and expressing jealousy in toxic ways. I feel jealousy from time to time, but I wait until it calms down and then talk about it later, to reveal myself, and to find out more about my partner. It’s how you create intimacy. Great advice, awesome video, you look amazing, you and Teddy the cutest couple ever, hope it works out for you two!
My ex has a few of these red flags, but I was constantly putting up with her craps without any realization. I even blamed myself for not providing "enough" care and attention during the relationship (she would call me at midnight and said she had panic attack). It's important to learn to love ourselves. Stay strong, brothers.
Ive recently just got out of a relationship and realized I was a rebound 😂 after 3 weeks of breaking up she’s with someone else. Wish her the best though and I hope she learns.
Probably not a rebound. Some chicks are just genuinely incapable of being alone. Its kinda sad to witness and even sadder to be on the receiving end of but trust me youre better off for getting her out of your life.
Men, do not hesitate for one moment to put a restraining order against your female partner if you feel your safety and health is in jeopardy. Placing a permanent restraining order on my female partner was absolutely the wisest protective move of my adult lifetime. My only regret is not doing it years earlier. Men, be safe!
Your voice is so soft, it's almost relaxing. Also there might be a ton of videos on this exact topics but you sound very genuine and convincing. Subscribed.
I usually agree. I find that she is a little less "in your face" about all of it. Not to say the male youtubers that talk about this are bad, but theyre just not as good.
So much of this rings true. The difference is that most of these red flags were concealed from me. Like what she said about not having any committed relationships or friends. I didn't notice until later that my ex was leaving all her "friends" behind and never stayed constant with anyone but her immediate family. You have to be so careful nowadays.
"Once a cheater, always a cheater." No, that's not true. Maybe for many. But I did cheat when I was young, I am NOT a cheater today and am in a 12 year long relationship without any mistakes. I handle things completly differently from what I did in that part of my life. I have no idea how common it is but there are people who change.
Hi thank you for commenting! I just left a massive comment explaining my thoughts on cheating…I’ll save you a long story but from 18-23 I dated my only ever girlfriend so far, I cheated on her at the very very tail end of our relationship, we broke up and it’s been like maybe 8 months since we broke up. I never ever thought I would’ve become a cheater and I certainly don’t want to be pinned down as one…but I’ve never dated in the adult world before, I met my ex in high school and we were great friends prior to dating. Now here I am with a new girl before me and we’re reaching a point where I either tell her I’m not ready or I am ready for a relationship. And I think I am. But I need advice on if I recreate my own new reality and do so by saying “I never cheated” and then living my life with her faithfully and honest through and through as if I never was one, or if I should be honest with her and tell her about my past mistake and how it hurt me and my ex so bad, I wouldn’t ever want to do that to another person again. Were you honest with your new partner about cheating? How do you really even go about discussing that if you do? Is it not self-sabotaging to bring that up, when they can be under the impression you are faithful and then they see that through your actions?
This is awesome. I sent one packing 3 months ago. She had 7 of the "red flags" you mentioned. You should add an 11th red flag, social media addiction and the addiction to soliciting attention on social media by the way of using selfies !!! This girl would sometimes post up to 100 pictures per week of herself on twitter, facebook, instagram, and snapchat, just to see how many guys would click on the like button, most of which could not carry a bucket of water if I gave them the pail !!! Great video !!!
I'll chime in here (in no particular order): 1. Gossip 2. Playing head games (ignoring, hot and cold) 3. Gaslighting 4. Lying 5. Fishing for male attention and validation, especially while in a relationship 6. Victim mindset 7. Extreme political stances 8. Her friends know all about your relationship, especially if you move in the same circles 9. Severe character defects (self-righteous, lack of accountability, inability to mend damaged relationships). I could go on, but these are just a few of the things that have turned me off.
Gonna need this since my fiance decided she was done with us today after 4 years of being together. RIP. Fellas make sure you talk to your significant other about any type of problem you two have, communication is key. She slowly started to cut me out to eventually barely talking to me to now she decided she's moving on. If you fallout of a relationship take time to focus on yourself. And guys please think long and hard about proposing, I was so happy when she said yes I felt like I was on top of the world but nothing is set in stone, theres always a chance she could back out on you and believe me it ruins you. I dont know if I'll ever get married after experiencing this but I hope that all the guys that do propose have a long, happy and healthy marriage.
@@GodWorksOut nope, just said she fell out of love with me. I'm working on myself, gonna try to save this ship, and reflect on what went wrong I believe maybe its because I got complacent in the relationship but hopefully it works out. Its been almost a month now so I'm hoping the stars align and Gods on my side in trying to turn this ship around.
@@Wevaah "I fell out of love" means the thrill of the newness of the relationship is gone. Like most women these days, she's a "tingles" addict. Move on. And never take her back.
I was dating a woman. She kept telling me not to talk or follow any women on Instagram, though she was following 500 guys. I only was following 8, who are all UA-cam creators. I said ok, and unfollowed all. I didn't have a problem with it. Still she kept bringing it up many times, I called it quits and left.
I'm bisexual. I mostly have guy friends and have never slept with any of them. If you have trust issues, that's your problem to solve. I would never have problem with my boyfriend having many female friends.
There's still many left. I see guys make the mistake of where they look and what they look for. Unfortunately how she looks pushes everything else out the window.
Thank you Courtney. Wish I knew this when I was helpless and blinded by emotion, being the ridiculous empath that I am... not bad enough, I also projected everything that I wanted our relationship to be as well as all that I wanted her to be, despite a year’s worth of red flags and multiple instances of her walking away from me :(
You just described my ex with every point on this list. I was 16 when we met and she cheated on her boyfriend with me. After that, everything you said happened in my relationship with her... so anyone reading this comment. Everything courtney has said is 100% true👏👏
This is incredibly wise & incredibly empathetic of you, beauty! 💎 I second this all ✨ We all deserve healthy, wholesome lovin’ as equally & plentifully much.
I met my EX while she was still married and we ended up hooking up. Shortly there after she made her divorce official a few years later, we had a kid together. My first, her 5th... SHOCKER, it didn't work out in the end... She left me and got married for the third time with a man she claims to have only been on 2 dates with...She was a born again Christian and God told her she needed to marry this man. God told him the same... The only thing I know about this guy is that he has been divorced and signed his rights away to his 2 kids that he doesn't see anymore...Sounds like she picked a winner to me. Apparently he is also a born again Christian. It's my own fault, I know I got with a cheater and I ignored so many red flags, lesson learned
To her credit, rare to see someone who can see beyond their own gender and recognize good and bad goes both ways. I'm sure many women will also benefit when good guys are available because they can avoid negative relationships with a little key awareness.
These red flags are for guys too, friendships both intimate or plutonic. Thanks for that Courtney, and for having such a great voice! I can listen to you talk for hours.
I've got no guy friends and I don't have girlfriends. You know why? It's because everybody wants something besides my company and to me that is the ultimate red flag.
That's a very valid reason for not having many relationships in your life. It's good to have people that are there for you and not to be with you just to benefit themselves. I think she wasn't trying to say anything against individuals that have good reasons like you but the people that don't put any effort in maintaining any good relationships. You can't easily maintain a relationship with someone that won't also put any effort into the relationship. There's only so much you can do alone until it falls apart entirely. I think that is the point she is trying to make.
A red flag that I’ve noticed about dating woman is that I noticed she never wanted to meet any of my family and doesn’t wanna have anything to do with my family. That’s why the woman I’m dating for now it’s just for fun and just for now.
All on point, the cheating one however I believe people can change, because me.. I changed after I cheated on a long term boyfriend when I was 18, faced the music, learned and moved on to be a better and more honest woman!
Never date women who have radical ideologies like feminism, communism, religious fanaticism, etc. If she cannot respect that you have your own opinion and criteria then that relationship is not worth it Edit: If you are in a relationship and you are afraid to give your opinion for fear that she will get angry then there is nothing more to say, that relationship will not work
I personally would like to get into a relatuonship with someone woth different opinions, i like having discutions about important subjects, of course only if they respect your position and dont get disrespectfull, and that can tell you when they feel you are disrespectong them. Basically a healthy discution
well said. this is why i swipe left on communists/feminists on dating apps. heck, even the more moderate liberals can be annoying. I swipe left on anyone with any politics in their dating profiles but I find feminism and anti-capitalism to be the more popular on women's profiles!
I've dated once since becoming a widower after being happily married for 30 yrs. After meeting in person and seeing each other when she decided she wanted to, talking when she decided wanted to. I learned that she'd been divorced 4 times with 4 kids by the time she was 48 ( just turned 49) had zero friends and couldn't treat anyone with respect. She has zero plans for the future and can't keep a promise to save her life. I broke up with her and she labeled me a woman hating narcissist. I miss her but there's no way on God's green earth that I would even think of taking her back.
"So what do you like to do in your free time?" "I like to have fun." - almost every woman I've been on a date with. How do you even respond to that? :D
For me when a guy asks me what do i like to do in my free time , i feel so disturbed because I almost never have free time. And when i go on that date is a real time investment for me but guys don’t understand. It looks to me more like for them is another afternoon staying around on their free time. No wonder all this broke guys because they have no goals and ambitions. If you work 8 hours a day and the rest call it free time meanwhile you are broke , i think you should consider doing something more productive
@@sidorelasheqeri8116 I learned fairly early in life that being busy 24/7 is not a goal or an ambition... it is a sentence. I also learned the hard way that nobody will ever thank you for working yourself to death. As soon as you are used up you will be ditched like old underwear, with less care. I was fortunate enough to learn this before it was to late, but it did teach me a lesson about what is important and what is not important in life. I am in no position to judge you or your life. I do hope you are happy with your life, but to me what you describe sounds absolutely horrible.
I would like to add: If her words do not match her actions - Run! People spout untruths all the time. Only their actions show you who they truly are. Cheers!
Excellent video Sister. Adding to the list: 1. she's easily angered. 2. She doesn't respect her family or yours. 3. She only comes around when she needs money...not wanting you.
When you first start looking into red flags in relationships, you may become too obsessed with them and try to find one around every corner, especially if you are experiencing difficulties in your life that may be relevant to your own self-image, your prospects, and other issues that may influence the way you view your surroundings. On my opinion, here are also important relationship red flags you should never ignore: - Communication issues- Possessiveness- Different goals for the future- A short temper- Little white liesFor the health of both you and your partner, being in a clear space when looking for red flags is the best way to go!
#11 - Has unsavory friends #12 - Endorses the consumption of controlled substances #13 - Drinks often #14 - Too big of a social butterfly ( Now i get that being social is okay, but, isn't it about quality over quantity? Where are those folks with like 3 REALLY dependable people in their life and the rest are either strangers they don't care for or just an acquaintance they sort of respect. AKA The attention w***e, goes for both men and women )
This is an accurate video. Good job Courtney. I've experienced almost all of these " red flags". One I believe is very important that I've experienced is a woman that focuses on the negative in every situation. These women self sabotage a good situation. I've heard " This cant be this good. There has to be something wrong ". Another one is pressuring a relationship too early in dating. I notice this problem is all about her and how she is perceived in front of her friends. It's never about how I feel in the situation.
I checked this video out bc I was feeling insecure about my recent marriage from this past May 2020... and I'm relieved that my wife holds literally NONE of these traits. She's got her flaws, and I wish she would take bigger steps to watch her health and general cleanliness around our apartment, but besides that I haven't dated many women in the past (literally 1 ex and then 1 very short term gf before my wife), so I think I need to start counting my blessings.
I think you're looking at the situation in a mature way. The reason why Count Our Blessings became a saying is because many people tend to forget to do that.
One big one is when they can't admit to making mistakes ever, and can never apologize for anything ever.
Definitely
I thought that was standard programming.
@@petereinert7581 It's a narcissistic and/or sociopathic trait that is far too common in both men and women.
That's all of them.
Jaja my mom is like that, she only admits it when it affexta her. Honestly we learned to just give our point of view and end the conversation there.
Red flag #11. She's constantly on her phone/social media.
In your opinion, what does that lead to?
@@Jackdman25 If she's doing it around you she isn't respecting your time. She cares more about what is going on online than being where she is currently. If she's always on her phone around you but taking forever to respond to you, run
@@haggs2014 I live with her, and she’s always on social media while watching movies, or other activities where we should avoid being distracted while together. Pretty annoying
@@Jackdman25 I'd say something. Letting the animosity build up over something simple is a terrible idea
@@Jackdman25 Also go check out "The Roommates" on UA-cam
OMG people, I am a 62 year old man who is married for 30 years , was married before that and had several live ins because I was always looking for that forever relationship as a young man, THIS WOMEN IS SPOT ON !!! I just jumped on to see if she knew what she was talking about , and she nailed it !!!!! Bam ! Take her advice its all true ! PEACE Oh and I'm so glad I'm not dating now in the age of social media , you all have my sympathy .
Don’t use God name vein youre very bad mannered
@@nestorgonzalez6477 😐
@@nestorgonzalez6477 he didn’t, he said “omg” ... omg can mean oh my gosh, not just oh my god... 😐
@@nestorgonzalez6477 lol really..
Thank old man
"If she cheats, she belongs in the streets" - truer words were never spoken 🙌
for the streets, they say
"to" the streets, not "in" the streets. its more of an analogy than location here.
It means she's a public utility and your turn is over and it's someone else's turn
Too many failed relationships/break ups is the ultimate red flag for me.
Red Flag 11- when she only ever wants to talk about herself and her life, then when its your turn to talk she either doesn't listen or cuts you off to talk about herself again.
Bruh, been there before, it's not fun
Narcissistic behavior 👀
Narcissism
Fight club: "When you're dying people will really listen to you instead of just waiting for their turn to speak", and even then these types don't even wait because whatever mid-sentence thought you had - not important.
And then treats you as if you're selfish -_-
13. When she shares details about your relationship with her gossipy friends.
14. When she shows no interest in getting to know your friends.
15. When she avoids meeting your parents or siblings.
16. When she never asks how you are doing or never checks-in on your mental state.
17. When she shows no interest in your career or professional pursuits.
Unless it how much money you have, that she can go piss off
Hmm...my ex wife on all of those. Haha
Lol your list seems like the better red flag list than the ones in this video
Interest in meeting your friends can be a double-edged sword, my friend. My old man said, keep your friends and your woman separate. I've seen when she does have an interest in your friends and comes back to bite you in the ass.
And more: How to know if a woman is good marriage material (Christian version) loydwalker.com/rmv-checklist/
1. Possessive or Needy
2. How they treat people
3. Excessive Jealousy
4. Doesn't Say thank you
5. No goals or Hobbies
6. Unrealistic communication Expectations
7. She brings up past relationship too much
8. Fresh out of relationship
9. Has no girl friends
10. She has Cheated
thank you! you are a sweetheart..
@@beatyea5711Awee 🙈🙈❤️❤️❤️
Fucking thank you - no one has got ten minutes.
Thanks
My ex had 5/10
Being single after my last relationship is so refreshing.
In a mystery novel I read this sentence: Being single is like being rich - you can do what you want.
No inlaws & no argument;;
I been single since 2013 because I want to focus on myself and also I knew I could do better so I look every hard on myself to see what I really want just like all my relationships fall into place but good thing is learning about red flags and green flags helps alot more
I was married to a woman who had most of these red flags. Super jealous and possessive, cheated, no hobbies, no friends. It fell apart when I started RN school because I was "constantly surrounded by women" and she has spent the last 5 years trying her best to make my life a living hell. I would give anything to go back to before I met her and watch this video 10 times.
Good thing for us guys is times never lost for us 🫂🤗
@@j3ffy1000That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard.
So why did you ignore the warning signs?
Because I'm an idiot and run head first into more red flags than your average bull
I just divorced my wife. She was cheating. Afterwards my stepdaughter told me that's why her last husband divorced her. I missed that red flag.
Life story of so many men. It should come in a manual as compulsory reading before marriage.
So sorry to hear that.
Be wary dude..if she cheated, this makes her a liar and manipulator...which means she will lie to others about you...because YOU divorced her. By doing that, the touchpaper of destruction will have just begun..she will therefore lie about you. Be ready for a continuous stream of manipulation and lies.
She will no doubt begin with her ex.
Read up on narcissism...NARCOLOGY UNSCRIPTED is 100% accurate.
Dr.Carmen Bryant is worth watching...your world is about to change...ISOLATION is recommended...it was the first place i headed for...like an island in the sea of heavy waves.
Good luck..stay strong.
@@BLITZY261 Thanks for the advice.
@@Gregsgreatfood Welcome...might help with quicker recovery...i refer to it now as THE KNOWING.
Changes perception...once learned..mind-blowing stuff.
"If she cheats, she belongs in the streets" This is great! lmao Subscribed! lol
She's a woman with real vision of this life 🤣🤣🤣✌🏻
@@rompemotores1 simp
Jk , its respect
Same here😂😂
This saying has been around for while dude lol stop putting her on a pedestal
Damn. What street she on and will she take 20$ in doge coin.
My ex gf had basically all of these red flags. My only regret is that I didn't break up with her sooner.
you are not watching joker aka better bachelor, there is more red flags then she is presenting, she is fishing.
Got the same, man
Better late than never ! I know it's old and corny, like me lol
I feel you brother,better late than never anyway
Your still alive.... live life learn and don't look back
Here's one. Too many guy friends that contact her way too often. They are basically waiting for you to argue with her to make you look bad and make themselves look better to either escape the friend zone or even worse take what you got. I've seen this happen to other people as well.
Women: Why don't nice guys want to date me? Nice guys: Because we're tired of being treated like crap.
Women do like nice guys: they don’t like self proclaimed “nice guys”
If that's the mentality you have, you have a lot of work to do, my friend. There's nothing noble about being a "nice guy". Learn what women respond to, what they look for in a man, but beyond all of that, commit to being the best man that YOU can be and accept 100% full responsibility for the outcomes of your actions and life's decisions. Once you learn to be true to yourself, your path, and your mission in life with unwavering determination, and once you are a strong and imperturbable man, then the women will come and your biggest problem will be choosing which ones to spend your time with. Good luck and Godspeed!
@@tedhumphreys1473 boom fax
Good men do get treated like garbage tho.
@@tedhumphreys1473 thanks for the laugh. I needed that
Trust me, it is most important for us single guys... It's better to not get into a relationship than get into a crappy relationship.
Are crappy relationships based on money?
thats only if you know how to identify a crappy relationship. I learn by doing, so im kinda thankful i got into a crappy relationship because now i have the experience to not get into that
The same could be said for single gals...
@@e.kupfer8631 True. The video title makes it clear it's for men, so I only mentioned men in my comment.
As a guy in my early 50s I ignored more than a few of these in a recent relationship. You are wise beyond your years. Men PAY ATTENTION!
Heres the #1 Red flag : You dont feel comfortable being with her.
why to start a relationship with someone you dont feel confortable with?
@@frankrodriguez6851 some girls change as soon as your in BOYFRIEND mode,not before hand.
@@dwade6322 touché
👍
This actually helps…
Cause I am with a girl that is showing none of the red flags here; but I have a voice in back of my mind that says…. Get out, pull the eject button
“If she cheats, she belongs in the streets” that was great Courtney 😂
You mispelt Cory ☹️
I concur with this 100 percent, I'm so much happier now after moving on from such a toxic relationship. All the red flags.
"Shopping is not a hobby.." been saying that FORVER. Subbed on the spot. So many fantastic points in this vid altogether.
I think most women view shopping as a sport rather than a hobby and unfortunately, they strive for perfection every single day.
@@markdouglas5310 Shopping olympics xD
Dr
Great list, Courtney 😊. One item I’d add...If you keep catching her in little lies. If she regularly lies to avoid any confrontation, to manipulate you, or to get her way. You’ll catch her lying to other people for the same reasons, and if you mention it, she just blows it off. If you call her out for lying to you, she gaslights or gets angry. A lack of integrity in little things will lead to a lack of integrity in big things. It also demonstrates a level of cowardice that will make her hard to respect. Don’t tolerate lying and manipulation.
This was a very good list. I have found men learn these things the hard way and end up emotionally wounded by these red flag women and then miss opportunities with high value women because they’re hurt, bitter and unaware another type exists. Hopefully many will watch this early enough.
I would add a red flag is this. If all she brings to the table are attractive looks while having eye candy is good, it doesn’t last.
Another would be if she is financially dependent and believes she’s entitled to being taken care of.
And maybe also a female that dumbs down to flatter-use a man and others manipulatively.
Run from the eternal damsel in distress. She’s using you big time. Everyone has needs and unexpected misfortune but not every month or week right when bills are due.
About that financial dependence point, I actually do NOT mind that as long as I get something in the bargain-which is: not being sexually stingy, being appreciative and attentive, and keeping herself physically attractive;
'Do you think she'd look at you if you were poor?'
'Do you think I'd look at her if she were ugly? Fair's fair, exchange rates and so forth. Well I know she's had her this and her that... but if a man can tolerate his own past... why not a past in his wife?'
-Oscar Wilde (from 'Lady Windermere's Fan')
Otherwise, I agree with everything else you said.
@@marlonmoncrieffe0728 It is sad you view women as possessions you can control via money. It's sad that you apparently think money makes up for intimacy, connection, and love because if you could produce those things, your list of requirements would be different. It's sad that you think contributing financially entitles you to these ridiculous demands. It's sad that you project your own lack of value onto women. That's disgusting. Actually, you're disgusting. There needs to be video on "10 red flags in Marlon Moncrieffe" but I'm sure there are many more. Thanks for making this red flag public. Hopefully if anyone googles your name, they'll find out immediately how disgusting you are. FYI: Humans are not possessions; otherwise, its slavery. -You're exactly the representation of a reason for why feminism exists and why women are choosing to remain single. And this is why more and more women prefer to finance their own lives because if that's all your disgusting mind can bring to the table, you sir are a failure. It means men like you are weeded out and fall to the bottom where you deserve to feed. Yes, I know many women who don't care if a man is poor. They are all for building with a real respectful partner. The real issue is you think it's okay to reject a woman or discard her if she were overweight or merely aged. Please do all women a favor and leave them all alone. Just yuck.
@@suzstjohn_Z 😕 Control???
I am offering a FAIR and EQUAL trade of which NO ONE is being FORCED into ANYTHING.
And when did I EVER say that I would so discard ANYONE that merely aged (as we ALL will do)?
P.S. By the way, I would NOT mind a loyal woman who sticks by my side as we build an affluent life together though.
@@marlonmoncrieffe0728 human bartering (trade) or purchasing (using money to trade) is the same as human slavery. People are not for sale. You're not talking about an even remotely equal trade of intangible items. $ for human life is okay to you? Really, take that money and hire a counselor and investigate why you think it's okay to buy people and then check off qualities like she's custom ordered.
@@suzstjohn_Z 😆 Slavery?!
We are CONSENTING ADULTS!
She wants a stable home life and I want an attractive life partner to share it with and we BOTH have something to offer EACH OTHER.
What ARE we doing that is exactly WRONG?
I agree with everything you said in this video, and have witnessed many of them in my brothers fiancée which unsurprisingly ended just recently. Not only did she show many of the red flags you mentioned but she would post provocative videos and photos on social media which isn't appropriate behaviour of anyone who would be in a committed relationship. He is young and somewhat naïve, but none the less a valuable life lesson has been learned, one of which I learned many years ago.
The best bit of advice I can give to anyone starting a relationship is remain objective and don't let emotion and feelings cloud your better judgement. There is a reason and wisdom behind the adage of "love is blind".
It is also important to identify your own areas to improve. I noticed my girlfriend has a lot of these and I am a very optimistic type. Someone who loves you would not do things that knowingly hurt you. Yes, they may not have known at first but if they are aware and choose to continue, its no good. We are only in control over ourselves, our own healing and our own lives.
Courtney, this is the best video of its type that I have ever seen. To all the men out there, pay particular attention to Number 4 (Doesn't say thank you). You don't want to be with an unappreciative girl. Also, Number 5 (No goals or hobbies) probably means that she has nothing to offer and all she does is consume. She will finally consume you. Thank you Courtney!
My wife has a couple of those red flags, but she always shows her gratitude even for the little things. Nobody is perfect, but her heart felt appreciation motivated me to stay with her during the bad times.
Wondering where the summary guy is...
1. Possessivness & control
2. How they treat other people
3. Excessive jealousy
4. Isn't appreciative (doesn't say thank you)
5. No goals or hobbies(shopping isn't a hobby)
6. Unrealistic communication expectations
7. She brings up passed relationships TOO much
8. She just got out of a relationship
9. She has no girl friends
10. She has cheated (once a cheater, always a cheater)
Thanks!
Avoid anyone who criticizes or complains about family and/or friends. Someone with bad credit is also a very bad choice. This video hits on some good warning signs.
Great video and advice. My motto has always been, never depend on anyone for your happiness. Make sure you are happy with yourself first and that the other person is only there to enhance that happiness.
Courtney's red flags...
1.) Needy/Possessive
2.) How she treats people (especially family or service industry personnel.)
3.) Excessive Jealousy
4.) Doesn't say thank you
5.) No Goals/Hobbies
6.) Unrealistic expectations with regard to communication (i.e. wanting you to text her while you're at work.)
7.) Brings up past relationships too much
8.) Just got out of a relationship and needs to get into another ASAP. (Don't be a rebound.)
9.) Has no female friends
10.) She cheats on you
My Red Flags as an addendum...
1.) Single motherhood (Widows and women divorcing abusive husbands probably get a pass. Situation dictates if this becomes red flag or not.)
2.) Smokers
3.) Alcoholics
4.) Drug users
5.) Narcissists
6.) Know-It-Alls
7.) Tries to keep me from enjoying my hobbies/interests
8.) Women that have not gotten over an ex, especially an ex-husband
9.) Excessive body count
10.) Excessive/poorly placed tattoos
Your list is excellent. But that excludes 95% of what's out there.
Don't forget the demon chest tattoos
When she said "shopping is not a hobby " I burst out laughing 😂 😂
I don’t get what’s so funny about it, I think everyone knows that.
@@berlindha2626 it's the way she said it
Many girls do write that on their CVs 😁
@@ayushpandey6568 oh alright 😅
@@Emkei2010 xD
My ex always talked down to her mother in a very rude way. I saw that red flag.
Thanks for the tips!
Admit it men, we all needed this. Thanks for the heads up Courtney!!!
It’s my pleasure! ❤️
You need money not Courtney,fool💲
@@CourtneyRyan 10 minutes 27 seconds of absolute bullshit
Thank you for this Courtney - I have mad respect that you take time to create such videos that will better relationships all over the world. I would add to this list (though it's somehow partially covered) SELFISHNESS. This simply means when your partner always focuses on themselves, what is convenient for them and what they like. Such partners get mad when you decline to do things they want and would seldom do anything you like if they do not like it. Sometimes this is hard to detect because such people often appear 'good' and 'caring' but they do so only in order to get something from you, e.g. they may want you to go on an outing but (e.g) you're sick, they would then check whether you are better not because they care but because they want you to get better in order to do what they want. Selfishness also comes off in how someone takes interest in what you do and like in life: if your partner never cares about your interests, work or just general aspirations in life, then that is definitely not good. While we can't all like the same things we can always show interest in what our partners do and support them even though we do not do it ourselves.
Women like you are precious. Thanks for all the advices and your work :)
The problem is that 99% of women i meet have at least 6-7 of those red flags. I feel like it's impossible to be with someone totally sane nowadays
I agree, these red flags seem to be pretty common
Recommend not looking for something serious these days. Keep it simple and non committed. Women on onlyfans, tikthot, snatchchat, seeking arraignments, etc.
Depends on your area. Just maintain the standards. Billions of women and you just need to find one
agreed :/
There are certainly those who are nuts to be sure. But a lot of them who men say are nuts, it's often the man who's the problem. The fem ideology has conditioned men to believe and act as if women and men are equal to the point of interchangeable. This couldn't be further from the truth.
When a man expects a woman to think and understand the world the same as men, 10/10 of them will seem nuts. They're not men, they're women. They have different hormone levels. They have different levels of biological and emotional requirements.
I have a mother, stepmother, 5 sisters, 4 nieces, a wife and a daughter. I've had so much estrogen around me in my early life that I fled for the military to ensure my sanity and masculinity.
Men and women are different. When men and women accept this and accept each other for what, thus who they actually are, not what thus who they believe they should be, both are much happier.
Women who act as if men and women are equal to the point of interchangeability are the crazy ones. There are no better women than those who know they're women and have no desire to encroach on the territory of men
The same is the case for men. Do not encroach on her femininity. Respect her femininity, revere her for her femininity by understanding there's aspects of her that as a man, you will never understand on an emotional or intellectual level and that's ok. That doesn't mean she's crazy. That means she's a woman and you are not.
We don't need to understand. We need to be her rock to crash on without judgment, anger or belief that we can solve the problem if we can just drill down into the logic of the situation.
Because it's not about logic when they need us to be the rock to crash on and to try and force it to be, is to treat her like a man, not the feminine woman she is in fact. Women will tell us when they want a problem solved. If they don't, it's our job to shut up and let her get it out.
86) She tries to run you over in a parking lot, 3 or more times. You got to take that seriously. It could be a sign.
Wait, I heard about that of documentary about a women run over her husband 3 times in her car, she caught him cheating
I had a women push me in front of a truck , the driver barely got it stopped before hitting me.
@@robertlackey7212 Holy shit! Now THAT is a bad sign!! I had a girlfriend who got so pissed that a couple times when she was driving her Corvette...got on the freeway and started driving and weaving through traffic as high speed. I just shut up to let her calm down...arguing/reasoning only amped her UP.
@@robertlackey7212 yo, that's not a red flag. That's attempted murder
@@polystictus did you call the cops on her crazy ass after that? That's a menace to society
Gotta appreciate the calm mid-western demeanor of Courtney! She’s a gem!
don’t mention the Midwest
I now 100% believe in the saying "Once a cheater always a cheater!" It doesn't matter if it was only once. My recent ex told me that she cheated "only once before" but that the guy she was seeing was "abusive." I was like, "Ok, that makes some sense and is semi-justified." Well, fast forward to our relationship. I treated her like an absolute queen and she still cheated on me and lied to me for months about it. I have no doubt at some point she'll mention me to the next guy she's trying to lure into her web and she'll say that I was "abusive" or something else to justify her complete lack of ethics.
A snake that bites once will bite again.
Spot on
Damn this is actually exactly what my girl told me
Not true. I cheated on my abusive husband. Have gone on to have a couple relationships since then, have really grown as a person, and never made that decision again. Even though he was abusive, it was against my value system and I shouldn’t have done it, so I never repeated that mistake and never will. I was 22 and in a world of pain. That isn’t me anymore.
I knew a girl that cheated on her husband. He gave her the choice of either a divorce or he would spank her with a belt. She said he showed no mercy and she couldn't sit for over a month, but whenever she thinks of cheating on him, her bottom starts aching again. They do seem to be very happy together, so I guess it worked out.
This recently happened to me with my husband … he accused me of being abusive (he was the abusive one) and as a punishment for not being intimate and for having multiple miscarriages he had me arrested for something I didn’t do … I was released without charge. It was really traumatic though. It seems he was plotting a domestic abuse scenario to get permanent UK residency. He was “moving on” way before he left me and basically cheated. I remember him telling me about his “abusive” ex when I met him - he told me she hit him and threw things at him. Now I realise that he was probably lying. He also justified cheating under certain circumstances and I was shocked by this. As far as I’m concerned there is no justification for cheating. If someone’s being abused their priority should be their own safety and well-being, not jumping into bed with someone else.
I agree 100% 👍 cause I was the girl with these red flags 😅 But I worked on myself and with ages I've trying to be more normal, mature and reasonable. Nothing good can come of being toxic.
Same❤
11. The moment she drops the "just friends" line, drop her like a bad habit.
What if he's unattractive, she's attractive (we know women won't sleep down unless serious mental issues) and they've been 'platonic' for years? Sure, he's probably attracted to her and she's hit him with the friendzone but I'm not sure whether that's a serious red flag.
That being said, I'd make a case for a newly established friendship and he's moderately attractive. Drop her.
...if she drops that line, she already dropped YOU like a bad habit, but is hoping to still cash in on some of your resources and attention for as long as you're willing to play the fool.
Drama 🎭 queens 👸
I remember one time i rejected the girl i liked because she was too drunk and she instantly told me i was like her brother. Not in a bad way she didnt got angry or anything she just dropped it as if it was normal
There is a difference between feeling jealous, and expressing jealousy in toxic ways. I feel jealousy from time to time, but I wait until it calms down and then talk about it later, to reveal myself, and to find out more about my partner. It’s how you create intimacy. Great advice, awesome video, you look amazing, you and Teddy the cutest couple ever, hope it works out for you two!
#11 -- Avoid anyone who is: often angry, depressed, or moody
right
Dont forget the religious types who tell you theyve heard from God, and you the husband to be that she want to have children with....
Anger management issues should be a red flag💥🚩
It's nice if you're a girl, to watch this video in order to realize whether you're doing some of the toxic stuff. Thank you for the content ^^
If that’s the case, then ALL females on the planet need to watch this video
RED Flag #12...When your ex constantly talks over you or tries to discredit everything you do.....if this happens get out!!!
It is great to hear a woman’s viewpoint on topics like this. The content is much appreciated, keep up the great work! 👍🏻
My ex has a few of these red flags, but I was constantly putting up with her craps without any realization. I even blamed myself for not providing "enough" care and attention during the relationship (she would call me at midnight and said she had panic attack). It's important to learn to love ourselves. Stay strong, brothers.
dang bro thanks for sharing
Went through the same thing brother, I know how it feels
Just went threw this with my first gf, broke up with me and cheated
You seem so calm when you speak.
Haha I think it’s my voice 😂 thank you!
Simpppppppp
@@anirbanghosh504 Lol.
@@anirbanghosh504 grow up
I think she is a calm preson
Ive recently just got out of a relationship and realized I was a rebound 😂 after 3 weeks of breaking up she’s with someone else. Wish her the best though and I hope she learns.
sounds like she's on the rebound again. Hope you had fun at least.
Cheers!
Probably not a rebound. Some chicks are just genuinely incapable of being alone. Its kinda sad to witness and even sadder to be on the receiving end of but trust me youre better off for getting her out of your life.
Men, do not hesitate for one moment to put a restraining order against your female partner if you feel your safety and health is in jeopardy. Placing a permanent restraining order on my female partner was absolutely the wisest protective move of my adult lifetime. My only regret is not doing it years earlier. Men, be safe!
I swear I'm going to have a notebook full of tips soon. Thank you Courtney!
That’s what I like to hear! My pleasure 😊
Your voice is so soft, it's almost relaxing. Also there might be a ton of videos on this exact topics but you sound very genuine and convincing. Subscribed.
I really like a woman’s perspective on all these subjects as opposed to all the male UA-camrs speaking about these topics. Seems more valid. Lol
Haha I like to think so 😂 thank you, I appreciate comments like this!
I usually agree. I find that she is a little less "in your face" about all of it. Not to say the male youtubers that talk about this are bad, but theyre just not as good.
You don't ask a fish how to fish, you ask the fisherman how to catch them.
@@user-hd8ej8yx9p Patrice oneal the godfather of redpill knowlegde
@@user-hd8ej8yx9p yeah, but I see no signs of deception.
So much of this rings true. The difference is that most of these red flags were concealed from me. Like what she said about not having any committed relationships or friends. I didn't notice until later that my ex was leaving all her "friends" behind and never stayed constant with anyone but her immediate family. You have to be so careful nowadays.
"Once a cheater, always a cheater." No, that's not true. Maybe for many. But I did cheat when I was young, I am NOT a cheater today and am in a 12 year long relationship without any mistakes. I handle things completly differently from what I did in that part of my life. I have no idea how common it is but there are people who change.
Hi thank you for commenting! I just left a massive comment explaining my thoughts on cheating…I’ll save you a long story but from 18-23 I dated my only ever girlfriend so far, I cheated on her at the very very tail end of our relationship, we broke up and it’s been like maybe 8 months since we broke up. I never ever thought I would’ve become a cheater and I certainly don’t want to be pinned down as one…but I’ve never dated in the adult world before, I met my ex in high school and we were great friends prior to dating. Now here I am with a new girl before me and we’re reaching a point where I either tell her I’m not ready or I am ready for a relationship. And I think I am. But I need advice on if I recreate my own new reality and do so by saying “I never cheated” and then living my life with her faithfully and honest through and through as if I never was one, or if I should be honest with her and tell her about my past mistake and how it hurt me and my ex so bad, I wouldn’t ever want to do that to another person again.
Were you honest with your new partner about cheating? How do you really even go about discussing that if you do? Is it not self-sabotaging to bring that up, when they can be under the impression you are faithful and then they see that through your actions?
11: No sense of humor 😀 and that is a huuuuge red flag.
Maybe you're super funny and she doesn't stack up with you? 🤔
That's 99 percent
@Andrew Roman Haha
Or she has sense of humor - only it is not yours! Eve worse.
I don't think not having a sense of humor is a red flag. So people just don't.
11. When she mentions she has a lot of male friends.
12. When she talks about her crush or ideal man whenever you guys are dating.
13. She tells you she lesbian (after giving you her number)
14. You sum 11,12,13 and plus she might be interested in bisexual experiences. Gosh wish I learn this red flags years before 😑
15. She calls her Ex when you are on a date (speaking from personal experience😕)
@@bungeespeaks6081 so true or mention him as well that sucks bro I felt it too :(
@@bungeespeaks6081 😀
This is awesome. I sent one packing 3 months ago. She had 7 of the "red flags" you mentioned. You should add an 11th red flag, social media addiction and the addiction to soliciting attention on social media by the way of using selfies !!! This girl would sometimes post up to 100 pictures per week of herself on twitter, facebook, instagram, and snapchat, just to see how many guys would click on the like button, most of which could not carry a bucket of water if I gave them the pail !!! Great video !!!
Run bro .
I'll chime in here (in no particular order):
1. Gossip
2. Playing head games (ignoring, hot and cold)
3. Gaslighting
4. Lying
5. Fishing for male attention and validation, especially while in a relationship
6. Victim mindset
7. Extreme political stances
8. Her friends know all about your relationship, especially if you move in the same circles
9. Severe character defects (self-righteous, lack of accountability, inability to mend damaged relationships).
I could go on, but these are just a few of the things that have turned me off.
There is hope in this world, because of videos like this.
Gonna need this since my fiance decided she was done with us today after 4 years of being together. RIP. Fellas make sure you talk to your significant other about any type of problem you two have, communication is key. She slowly started to cut me out to eventually barely talking to me to now she decided she's moving on. If you fallout of a relationship take time to focus on yourself. And guys please think long and hard about proposing, I was so happy when she said yes I felt like I was on top of the world but nothing is set in stone, theres always a chance she could back out on you and believe me it ruins you. I dont know if I'll ever get married after experiencing this but I hope that all the guys that do propose have a long, happy and healthy marriage.
Just out of curiosity, what made her flip the switch on you?
She started seeing someone else obviously.
@@GodWorksOut nope, just said she fell out of love with me. I'm working on myself, gonna try to save this ship, and reflect on what went wrong I believe maybe its because I got complacent in the relationship but hopefully it works out. Its been almost a month now so I'm hoping the stars align and Gods on my side in trying to turn this ship around.
@@Wevaah Never take what a women says at face value “I fell out of love” could mean a multitude of other things.
@@Wevaah "I fell out of love" means the thrill of the newness of the relationship is gone. Like most women these days, she's a "tingles" addict. Move on. And never take her back.
I don't have a girlfriend and don't see myself having one in the near future but still watching this video
Stud service guy
When she says “it's not you, it's me” 😂 Floor it, Need For Speed 🏁🏁🏁 SKERT
Lol, It happens in all languages i think kkkkk
I was dating a woman. She kept telling me not to talk or follow any women on Instagram, though she was following 500 guys. I only was following 8, who are all UA-cam creators. I said ok, and unfollowed all. I didn't have a problem with it. Still she kept bringing it up many times, I called it quits and left.
If she has guy friends she's slept with atleast one or will.
This is one red flag in men if they say what you just said.
I'm bisexual. I mostly have guy friends and have never slept with any of them. If you have trust issues, that's your problem to solve. I would never have problem with my boyfriend having many female friends.
Thanks to GirlPower, about 95% of modern women check off all the boxes.
There's still many left. I see guys make the mistake of where they look and what they look for. Unfortunately how she looks pushes everything else out the window.
There not at the bar jk
😆😆😆
Thank you Courtney. Wish I knew this when I was helpless and blinded by emotion, being the ridiculous empath that I am... not bad enough, I also projected everything that I wanted our relationship to be as well as all that I wanted her to be, despite a year’s worth of red flags and multiple instances of her walking away from me :(
You just described my ex with every point on this list. I was 16 when we met and she cheated on her boyfriend with me. After that, everything you said happened in my relationship with her... so anyone reading this comment. Everything courtney has said is 100% true👏👏
This is incredibly wise & incredibly empathetic of you, beauty! 💎 I second this all ✨
We all deserve healthy, wholesome lovin’ as equally & plentifully much.
Single me is watching this, knowing that I will never get far enough to need this information...
Same, its sad too
not with that attitude mate. remember whether you can or you cant you're probably right
Stop caring so much about it, and that will change. Desperation is palpable.
Best line: "If she cheats, she belongs in the streets!"
if she cheat's she belong in another chumps sheets.
Where does cheating guy belong then?
To the streets as well❤️
@@lashaydeloach3334 so there’s a big party going on in the streets
@@theoduval1408 Yes, for sure! LOL
That thumbnail tho 😂 you’re starting to get comfortable “ditch her” hilarious
I met my EX while she was still married and we ended up hooking up. Shortly there after she made her divorce official a few years later, we had a kid together. My first, her 5th...
SHOCKER, it didn't work out in the end... She left me and got married for the third time with a man she claims to have only been on 2 dates with...She was a born again Christian and God told her she needed to marry this man. God told him the same... The only thing I know about this guy is that he has been divorced and signed his rights away to his 2 kids that he doesn't see anymore...Sounds like she picked a winner to me. Apparently he is also a born again Christian. It's my own fault, I know I got with a cheater and I ignored so many red flags, lesson learned
To her credit, rare to see someone who can see beyond their own gender and recognize good and bad goes both ways. I'm sure many women will also benefit when good guys are available because they can avoid negative relationships with a little key awareness.
These red flags are for guys too, friendships both intimate or plutonic. Thanks for that Courtney, and for having such a great voice! I can listen to you talk for hours.
Wish I knew this before I got married and now going through divorce.
Similar boat man, my fiance just left me today. I hope that everything works out for you and that you find the girl that's right for you.
@@Wevaah Thanks for the support. There's plenty of fish in the sea:)
@ben s not for a long time. I want to enjoy my freedom.
@ben s never say never. or maybe I'm just a glutton for pain.
I have said this to a few of my mates, And now they are all divorced
I've got no guy friends and I don't have girlfriends.
You know why?
It's because everybody wants something besides my company and to me that is the ultimate red flag.
Yes!
That's a very valid reason for not having many relationships in your life. It's good to have people that are there for you and not to be with you just to benefit themselves.
I think she wasn't trying to say anything against individuals that have good reasons like you but the people that don't put any effort in maintaining any good relationships.
You can't easily maintain a relationship with someone that won't also put any effort into the relationship. There's only so much you can do alone until it falls apart entirely. I think that is the point she is trying to make.
A red flag that I’ve noticed about dating woman is that I noticed she never wanted to meet any of my family and doesn’t wanna have anything to do with my family. That’s why the woman I’m dating for now it’s just for fun and just for now.
All on point, the cheating one however I believe people can change, because me.. I changed after I cheated on a long term boyfriend when I was 18, faced the music, learned and moved on to be a better and more honest woman!
Never date women who have radical ideologies like feminism, communism, religious fanaticism, etc. If she cannot respect that you have your own opinion and criteria then that relationship is not worth it
Edit: If you are in a relationship and you are afraid to give your opinion for fear that she will get angry then there is nothing more to say, that relationship will not work
I personally would like to get into a relatuonship with someone woth different opinions, i like having discutions about important subjects, of course only if they respect your position and dont get disrespectfull, and that can tell you when they feel you are disrespectong them. Basically a healthy discution
well said. this is why i swipe left on communists/feminists on dating apps. heck, even the more moderate liberals can be annoying. I swipe left on anyone with any politics in their dating profiles but I find feminism and anti-capitalism to be the more popular on women's profiles!
@@jmpm-tz1so meh. if i wanted to debate, I'd join a political discussion group. Wouldnt want that stress in my relationship.
She doesn't offer to pay for anything!
not even your trips to the brothel so annoying
Yelp I had one like that, not even the tip. I picked up on it and knew we were going nowhere.
Hi Courtney! I’m from Paris 🇫🇷 ! It’s the third videos I’ve been watchinhg and I found your advices really wised and down-to earth! Bravo 👏🏽👏🏽
I've dated once since becoming a widower after being happily married for 30 yrs.
After meeting in person and seeing each other when she decided she wanted to, talking when she decided wanted to. I learned that she'd been divorced 4 times with 4 kids by the time she was 48 ( just turned 49) had zero friends and couldn't treat anyone with respect. She has zero plans for the future and can't keep a promise to save her life.
I broke up with her and she labeled me a woman hating narcissist. I miss her but there's no way on God's green earth that I would even think of taking her back.
i think "not being accountable and responsible" is a huge and common red flag and worth mentioning.
"So what do you like to do in your free time?" "I like to have fun." - almost every woman I've been on a date with. How do you even respond to that? :D
For me when a guy asks me what do i like to do in my free time , i feel so disturbed because I almost never have free time. And when i go on that date is a real time investment for me but guys don’t understand. It looks to me more like for them is another afternoon staying around on their free time. No wonder all this broke guys because they have no goals and ambitions. If you work 8 hours a day and the rest call it free time meanwhile you are broke , i think you should consider doing something more productive
@@sidorelasheqeri8116 I am not broke. But I also do not date anymore :D
"How do you even respond to that?"
Well, how about by saying "What is it that you consider 'fun'?"
@@sidorelasheqeri8116 I learned fairly early in life that being busy 24/7 is not a goal or an ambition... it is a sentence.
I also learned the hard way that nobody will ever thank you for working yourself to death. As soon as you are used up you will be ditched like old underwear, with less care. I was fortunate enough to learn this before it was to late, but it did teach me a lesson about what is important and what is not important in life.
I am in no position to judge you or your life. I do hope you are happy with your life, but to me what you describe sounds absolutely horrible.
@@sidorelasheqeri8116 Ha ha ha...you're so "ambitious" and "productive" but you don't have free/down time? Sounds like Missy is doing something wrong.
All or most of these tips apply to men too. If you want your dream girl you need to be her dream man.
Definitely 👏🏼
Thank you the wingwoman we all need
That’s right 👏🏼❤️
I ran old failed relationships through the red flag matrix. Wow . Most were flag factories . Some could carry a lot of flags at once. Good stuff ☺️
I would like to add: If her words do not match her actions - Run! People spout untruths all the time. Only their actions show you who they truly are.
Cheers!
Woman- whoever wins your heart, is one of the luckiest men, in this time.
Mostly because of social distancing I hope💥
"if she cheats , she belongs in the streets" lmaoo
😂😂
I worked with lots of women coworkers who ❤ male stud service with males coworkers ;;
Where the heck was this video 30 years ago when I got married?!!! Its a checklist for my life! Lol
It's why I'm constantly teaching my kids about shit like this - including my daughter
It's Not Too Late
Excellent video Sister. Adding to the list: 1. she's easily angered. 2. She doesn't respect her family or yours. 3. She only comes around when she needs money...not wanting you.
When you first start looking into red flags in relationships, you may become too obsessed with them and try to find one around every corner, especially if you are experiencing difficulties in your life that may be relevant to your own self-image, your prospects, and other issues that may influence the way you view your surroundings. On my opinion, here are also important relationship red flags you should never ignore:
- Communication issues- Possessiveness- Different goals for the future- A short temper- Little white liesFor the health of both you and your partner, being in a clear space when looking for red flags is the best way to go!
love to see the genuine pov of a woman! keep them coming
👏🏼👏🏼 thank you! Happy to do it!!
I feel like every girl has at least one of these qualities. So you have no choice but to pick which one you can deal with
So far I haven't seen any red flags with Courtney Ryan.. She's the best and we have to help her get to 100k soon! Lol
Courtney has the biggest red flag: she's taken. My life sucks.
@@Criner05 i was gonna ask her is she’s taken or not lmao. You have saved me mate.
#11 - Has unsavory friends
#12 - Endorses the consumption of controlled substances
#13 - Drinks often
#14 - Too big of a social butterfly ( Now i get that being social is okay, but, isn't it about quality over quantity? Where are those folks with like 3 REALLY dependable people in their life and the rest are either strangers they don't care for or just an acquaintance they sort of respect. AKA The attention w***e, goes for both men and women )
This is an accurate video. Good job Courtney. I've experienced almost all of these " red flags". One I believe is very important that I've experienced is a woman that focuses on the negative in every situation. These women self sabotage a good situation. I've heard " This cant be this good. There has to be something wrong ". Another one is pressuring a relationship too early in dating. I notice this problem is all about her and how she is perceived in front of her friends. It's never about how I feel in the situation.
I checked this video out bc I was feeling insecure about my recent marriage from this past May 2020... and I'm relieved that my wife holds literally NONE of these traits. She's got her flaws, and I wish she would take bigger steps to watch her health and general cleanliness around our apartment, but besides that I haven't dated many women in the past (literally 1 ex and then 1 very short term gf before my wife), so I think I need to start counting my blessings.
I think you're looking at the situation in a mature way.
The reason why Count Our Blessings became a saying is because many people tend to forget to do that.