The #1 Thing Keeping You Broke (It's Not What You Think)

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  • Опубліковано 23 бер 2024
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 523

  • @busterbluesun
    @busterbluesun 2 місяці тому +81

    I can be happy just sitting in my living room looking out into the backyard with a cat in my lap. No tv. Just sitting.

  • @recynd77
    @recynd77 2 місяці тому +99

    Three things my 92-yo father taught us along the way: (1) Motor vehicles are almost never “investments”; (2) a short commute is worth far more than money; and (3) everything you own requires effort to maintain and/or store.

    • @sherryvaldes2393
      @sherryvaldes2393 2 місяці тому +13

      That "effort to maintain" 😑 ugh when you own a house. I tell you I just never dreamed of getting hit with so many bills at once.

    • @RobertJohnson-bj5lk
      @RobertJohnson-bj5lk 2 місяці тому +9

      One of the many Tyler Durden quotes I remember from “Fight Club”: “The stuff you own, ends up owning you.”

    • @dainasworldnumbers88
      @dainasworldnumbers88 Місяць тому +3

      Great comments!

    • @peacelovejoyandhappiness
      @peacelovejoyandhappiness Місяць тому

      @@dainasworldnumbers88amen🎉❤🎉❤excellent comments!!!

  • @clarkwestfield7818
    @clarkwestfield7818 2 місяці тому +248

    If you're happy or, god forbid, content, they can't sell you more. Their profits depend on our unhappiness and discontent, and so this system is unsustainable.

    • @MrRezillo
      @MrRezillo 2 місяці тому +8

      LOL, actually this system is perfectly sustainable; otherwise it wouldn't have been going on since the dawn of time. "If I buy that clamshell necklass from my tribe mate next door, THEN I'll really be happy. It's not fair that he has a necklass like that and I don't have one".

    • @clarkwestfield7818
      @clarkwestfield7818 2 місяці тому +13

      @@MrRezillo Being able to sell your labor or intellectual property is not the same as the corporate control of our lives, politics, and culture. Corporatism is only about 250 years old.

    • @Narangarath
      @Narangarath 2 місяці тому +2

      ​@@MrRezillo Possibly since the invention of money (I'd argue it's still a stretch), but the dawn of humanity is quite a bit further back than money and "dawn of time", as vague as it is, must be well before that.

    • @MrRezillo
      @MrRezillo 2 місяці тому

      @@clarkwestfield7818 You have choices. Viz: Nicole here.

    • @MrRezillo
      @MrRezillo 2 місяці тому +1

      @@Narangarath Your point?

  • @vernshird711
    @vernshird711 2 місяці тому +23

    I'm a fellow minimalist, my wife is working on it, but she is smart with her finances. Debt-free and our home was paid off right before COVID hit. We live below our means and contribute to our retirement accounts. My vehicle is over 10 years old, hers is around 15 years old. The big revelation I've found is that owning a home is a lie. There's the thing called property taxes. They keep going up each year - fail to pay them and you'll find out who really owns your home. I've come to the conclusion that life is one giant scam. Just when you think you have figured things out, they change the rules...on purpose.

  • @maxlown363
    @maxlown363 2 місяці тому +43

    I have realised that many of my eating habbits, weight issues, and purchases are driven by an unconsicious search for dopamine, just like what you are talking about

  • @michaelxz85
    @michaelxz85 2 місяці тому +100

    I heard a saying that the things you own end up owning you. I am finding this to be very true.

    • @Insightfill
      @Insightfill 2 місяці тому +4

      "Homeownership: the home owns you."

    • @steelearmstrong9616
      @steelearmstrong9616 2 місяці тому +4

      @@Insightfill Renting: The landlord owns you

    • @Insightfill
      @Insightfill 2 місяці тому +4

      ​@@steelearmstrong9616LOL. Back when The Onion was in print form, I remember an article where they had taken an interview with a homeowner and added in references to the "bank." Things like "Mike Nelson, recent (bank-owned) home purchaser, looked out over his (bank's) back yard, and said 'I may in the future extend the (bank's) garage in order to store a boat that I may get (for the bank)." It was both hilarious and depressing.

  • @pietrikapoulin2891
    @pietrikapoulin2891 2 місяці тому +17

    My best friend gave me a great piece of advice years ago. He said that whenever you're thinking of buying something ask yourself whether or not you're imagining yourself showing it to a friend or acquaintance. If so, then you're most likely not in need of the thing, you're either wanting something to intrigue them with or you're simply in need of some companionship, so don't buy it, just go and see your friend instead.

  • @oneisnone7350
    @oneisnone7350 2 місяці тому +14

    I heard a good quote, If you don't enjoy what you have, how could you be happier with more?

  • @ffr0ggy5
    @ffr0ggy5 2 місяці тому +83

    having pets is one expense that actually did make me happier. also expenses that lead to greater health, like buying produce over cheap ultraprocessed food. but the vast majority of money that i spend is wasted

  • @SmilingBeaver-ou7nc
    @SmilingBeaver-ou7nc 2 місяці тому +145

    Our car is 11 year's old, and it's paid off. We will keep driving it till it's unfixable. We have never had mechanical problems, because of keeping up on general maintenance.

    • @alariccatlett
      @alariccatlett 2 місяці тому +9

      Also helps to look for known problems of the vehicle you plan to purchase. Problems can also vary depending on the year and different engines as well. Nothing worse than spending money on something newer just to have a 7000 dollar repair bill sneak up on you.

    • @cathydiamond6573
      @cathydiamond6573 2 місяці тому +4

      Same

    • @tonyp9313
      @tonyp9313 2 місяці тому +1

      What car do you own?

    • @SmilingBeaver-ou7nc
      @SmilingBeaver-ou7nc 2 місяці тому

      ​@@tonyp9313We own a Hyundai sonata 2013. Have an Awesome Week✌️

    • @daisyglaze1817
      @daisyglaze1817 2 місяці тому +7

      My Toyota Corolla just turned 18 and the only repair it has needed was a cracked motor mount when it was 16. A few months ago I took it into Toyota for an oil change and they do an inspection as part of the service. The mechanic got back to me and said, "Everything looks good. I couldn't find anything wrong or to recommend. It's in great shape. I guess if I really had to recommend something it'd be to change out the air filter, but honestly it still has some use." I'm proud of my little Corolla. My husband's Ford van is a different story. It's the same year as my car but we just bought his a few yrs ago and it's cost over $7000 in repairs (most of that was in the first 3 months after purchasing it!). We bought it for $6000 and, with repairs, the stupid thing has ended up costing almost $14,000.

  • @jahart5556
    @jahart5556 2 місяці тому +91

    My Dodge Durango is 22 yr old. I bought it 10 yrs ago from an older private owner who bought it new an only used for vacations over the summer. Paid $5200 cash. I haven't had a car payment since 1998. No matter what the repairs could ever be imagined is still cheaper than buying a car on payments.

    • @proto2580
      @proto2580 2 місяці тому +2

      My Durango IS from 1998. Bought in 2004 or 2005 with 27K miles. Has 130K miles on it now, though I would not say its a reliable car. Decided to switch to Toyota because I keep cars a long time. For now, I will keep the Durango, but I have to tear the dash apart to replace the AC evap core. Big job.

    • @jahart5556
      @jahart5556 2 місяці тому +4

      @@proto2580 I just hit 173,000 last month. My repairs are just normal things that need replaced over time. Run beautiful, but I only use full synthetic oil and high quality filters and always change the oil about every 2800-3000 miles. A clean engine is key as my father always said. Oil is cheap, but engines are expensive, lol. I do believe foreign vehicles are made so much better the past 20-30 years. If I were rich, lol, I would probably have a 10 car garage loaded with cars from the late 60's- early 70's.... stunning 🔥

    • @mikemckenzie4782
      @mikemckenzie4782 2 місяці тому +2

      Similar here. I drive a 1992 Honda Accord. I'm the 2nd owner. And since ownership repairs are still cheaper than payments.

    • @RockymountainRobert
      @RockymountainRobert 2 місяці тому +1

      ​@jahart5556 , you should also use lucas oil stabilizer with your oil changes and use prolong oil additive every few months, trust me, those two additives used together will make your engine last for along time with many miles .

  • @amiek9226
    @amiek9226 2 місяці тому +52

    This video hit hard. During the pandemic lockdown I developed a shopping addiction. I was grappling with grief over the death of my oldest son. I had lost weight and shopping online for new clothes was a distraction. I knew even as I was doing it that spending all that money didn’t make sense. I’d get a brief hit of dopamine when the package arrived but it didn’t last. Soon I’d be online scrolling and looking for the next thing. For the past 2 years, I’ve been working on changing my behaviour. Videos like yours really help inspire and motivate me. Thank you.

    • @pan2aja
      @pan2aja 2 місяці тому +2

      Sorry for your lost

    • @Jacquie_Kirk_111
      @Jacquie_Kirk_111 2 місяці тому +1

      When my husband died, I did the same thing as you, except I gained tons of weight. I did not realize the shopping was dopamine hits until now.

  • @dianemayberry1291
    @dianemayberry1291 2 місяці тому +59

    It's actually very comforting to me to not worry about the latest fashion. I love wearing jeans and tee shirts! I also feel very good that I have been driving the same car, a 1997 Toyota, for the last 16 years and avoiding stressful car payments.

    • @seltzermint5
      @seltzermint5 2 місяці тому +4

      While "the latest fashion" is a big stretch for a 40 something Midwesterner like myself, I find it pretty easy to keep up with trends even shopping secondhand with just the occasional new/higher quality piece thrown into the mix. And jeans and t-shirts are great on almost everyone and can be very stylish indeed.

    • @steelearmstrong9616
      @steelearmstrong9616 2 місяці тому

      @@seltzermint5 I use to dress that way, but now I dress for comfort and don’t care what anyone thinks. I’m not living everyday to impress anyone, that’s not freedom, that’s not happiness and no way to live

    • @seltzermint5
      @seltzermint5 2 місяці тому

      @@steelearmstrong9616 I'm not talking about anything crazy, believe. Just like upgrading to new styles and the odd dress or stylish hiking boots and sneakers. Thrift store chic. It makes me very happy to play with my wardrobe and be creative.

    • @steelearmstrong9616
      @steelearmstrong9616 2 місяці тому +1

      @@seltzermint5 Yes I understand that. I like to cover up including wearing a hat as I don’t want to be noticed but Apparently I do standout with what I wear accordingly to couple of close friends. I done this due the attention I’ve always gotten. End of the day, we only have one life, so I’d say to anyone, do what makes you happy and comfortable. It’s all good

  • @4940markhutchins
    @4940markhutchins 2 місяці тому +73

    I am retired, debt free and content riding down a remote highway on my Honda Goldwing motorcycle.

    • @recynd77
      @recynd77 2 місяці тому

      My husband’s all-time-favorite vehicle was his beautiful, loaded Goldwing (1990, I think). He still misses it!

  • @elizabethhamilton1166
    @elizabethhamilton1166 2 місяці тому +52

    Great video, Nicole! Another expensive item for people is major appliances. My rule of thumb is buy the simplest washer, fridge etc, you can find that has good reviews. The fewer bells and whistles the better.😊

    • @seltzermint5
      @seltzermint5 2 місяці тому +7

      I agree! I know people who don't have a lot of extra cash but replaced a working dishwasher with a $1400 Samsung one with "smart" features they don't even know how to use. We got our Frigidaire dishwasher for $310 new from an outlet store in 2022 and it works great with no bells and whistles. It even has a stainless steel finish we didn't even necessarily care about.

    • @busterbluesun
      @busterbluesun 2 місяці тому +5

      My washer and dryer are 30 years old, plain old Kenmore but they still do the job. Same with my microwave, bought them all at the same time.

    • @seltzermint5
      @seltzermint5 2 місяці тому +3

      @@busterbluesunit's cool they have lasted so long. I have a hand me down dryer purchased in 2004, a relative could NOT have an unmatched set lol, so I've benefited from that since 2012 and still going strong. I did buy a new washer. Our house was built in 1980 and we just had to replace a lot of the original (ugly) kitchen appliances since 2020 which I felt was fine considering they were 40 years old at that time. But I wouldn't have done it just for aesthetics, I would have used ugly almond colored stuff with wood accents for another 20 years or so.

    • @fakeologist1
      @fakeologist1 2 місяці тому +2

      Scratch and debts

  • @SteviePaints
    @SteviePaints Місяць тому +4

    I worked in the banking and credit card industry for 40 years. I used to teach classes about money management on a volunteer basis to many different types of groups, from drug rehab centers to the local university. The one thing I noticed about most of the people I taught is that they just don't care to learn about budgeting. I once proposed a class in money management to the local community college, and I was told it would be a great class, but no one would pay to attend it. The easiest way to manage your money is to pay attention to it -- every day.

  • @user-mp7jo1qn3l
    @user-mp7jo1qn3l 2 місяці тому +6

    Agree. Discontent underlies so much consumerism and if you don’t play along by buying the newest, biggest, and trendiest, then you’re the weirdo. And, yeah, it’s an addiction.

  • @FlamingRobzilla
    @FlamingRobzilla 2 місяці тому +5

    A lot of wealthy people believe that money can buy happiness, but the truth is, as Nicole said, it is merely a distraction from how miserable you truly are. I would add that it may also explain some of the extravagantly odd behaviors of a few wealthy celebrates of late. There is more to be said about the nature of happiness, but that goes beyond the scope of this video and my desire to write.

  • @hammer48ful
    @hammer48ful 2 місяці тому +8

    Money and things don't buy you happiness. I used to build things for the super rich. I'd work on 10 - 20 mil. houses. Most of the time I felt richer in my 100 k house because I had a good family, a job that I loved and minimal expenses. A lot of the time all the rich had was things.

  • @MiaBonita-lx8ez
    @MiaBonita-lx8ez 2 місяці тому +5

    My last dopamine hit was when I paid off my car!

  • @marcdc6809
    @marcdc6809 2 місяці тому +73

    my grandfather worked a fulltime factory job, then still had a small farm, chickens, cows, pigs, a vegetable plot, small tractor, ... family with 7 children. I think they were happy people, they had each other, when I speak to my aunt about my grandfather she has this smile when remembering him. The man knew how to fix stuff.

    • @colleenmarin8907
      @colleenmarin8907 2 місяці тому +15

      Did he teach his children how to fix things? If so, did his children teach their children how to fix things? My mother never allowed my father to teach me how to fix things, and now he's gone, so all that knowledge is lost for literally selfish reasons

    • @marcdc6809
      @marcdc6809 2 місяці тому +7

      @@colleenmarin8907 Makes me sad to hear that. I do think they had a sexist approach, my mom didn't learn how to build a chicken coop and my uncle didn't learn how to sew or knit... I have a son and a daughter, daughter helped me with the electricity in her appartment, with changing the wheels of the car... but still I bought my son a starter set of tools, wrenches, screwdrivers, ... but not for my daughter, she pointed that out... I told her I trust her with my own tools and not him...

    • @stevethomas5209
      @stevethomas5209 2 місяці тому +2

      W UA-cam you can learn how to fix stuff.

    • @marcdc6809
      @marcdc6809 2 місяці тому +3

      @@stevethomas5209 true, I learned with a youtube video how to properly maintain and use a scythe for instance, seeing somebody actually do it is a lot easier than learning it from an explanation in a book.

  • @paul_domici
    @paul_domici 2 місяці тому +58

    A coworker just told me how he's upset that borrowing money from his 401k to redo his kitchen which is perfectly fine, has very high interest! He's a very unhappy person! And bored!

    • @autonomouscollective2599
      @autonomouscollective2599 2 місяці тому +5

      When you take a loan out of your 401k, the interest you pay goes back to you. If the interest is high, that’s just more money you’re paying yourself. That said, most financial advisors will tell you to never take a loan out on your 401k. It’s for your retirement; it’s not a piggy bank.

    • @dmbfannh
      @dmbfannh 2 місяці тому +3

      @@autonomouscollective2599 i can't see what's wrong with that so long as you pay your 401k back. I still would not do it hell I don't even have a kitchen of my own and I'm 47 and single. I rent A Cheap room in a house with a shared kitchen and bathrooms. Gotta do what I can do to keep expenses low so I can save to retire someday.

    • @autonomouscollective2599
      @autonomouscollective2599 2 місяці тому

      @@dmbfannh
      There are some advantages to taking out a loan on your 401k. As mentioned, you pay yourself back, including the interest. There are no taxes to pay, unless you stop making payments (such as leaving your job or defaulting on the loan.) Then you will need to pay taxes on the remaining balance.
      These next points may be an advantages or disadvantages, depending on how you look at them. With a few exceptions, you must pay back your loan within 5 years. And the maximum loan amount is $50,000.
      Disadvantages are that your take home pay will be less. And despite the interest you pay yourself, taking money out of your 401k slows its ability to grow. The interest does mitigate that problem a bit, but most financial advisors will say you’re harming the account’s growth more than helping it.

    • @KiwiCatherineJemma
      @KiwiCatherineJemma 2 місяці тому +3

      I am guessing that the person's kitchen is still 100% functional. Does the water no longer flow from the tap/faucet ? Does the sink no longer hold water ? Does the kitchen bench no longer hold up the weight of food and plates being prepared on it ? Do the cupboards and cabinets no longer hold food and plates ?
      They can probably save almost all the cost. How much is their new kitchen ? $25,000 or $50,000 or more ?
      Here where I am, (I live in a 41 year old rental unit) kitchen stove was replaced with a newer, but still used unit, about 20 years ago. The kitchen taps/faucets got replaced here about 4 years ago The lino/vinyl on the floor, kitchen sink, benches, and cupboards are all completely original. Does it look like brand new and fit for the Queen at Buckingham Palace ? No. But Queen Lizzie never visited me here and I don't think her son the new King is planning on visiting me anytime soon either.

    • @paul_domici
      @paul_domici 2 місяці тому

      Exactly! It's not a savings account!@@autonomouscollective2599

  • @charlesmagliocco8932
    @charlesmagliocco8932 2 місяці тому +9

    The key to happiness is gratitude. Love your videos.

  • @user-my4nz2yc2n
    @user-my4nz2yc2n 2 місяці тому +9

    I feel attacked, lol😂
    I relate to too many things in this video.
    I've been lonely for years now, and the worst part is its self-imposed loneliness . I want friends. I want a girlfriend. Until it happens, then I pull away . I buy tools to cheer me up. I should probably do the work and get past the whole not trusting people part

  • @NexxuSix
    @NexxuSix 2 місяці тому +4

    2:25 No theory. That *is* the reason why most of us are in debt. Forever trying to fill a bottomless pit with material wealth will only result in an exercise in futility.

  • @chessmaster1115
    @chessmaster1115 2 місяці тому +3

    I put a lot of thought into my biggest purchases and have not regretted any of them.

  • @freddyhollingsworth5945
    @freddyhollingsworth5945 2 місяці тому +4

    I drive a very reliable 21 yr old car that I've owned for 14 years and I just switched to mint mobile to save $396/yr....

  • @JakoWako
    @JakoWako 2 місяці тому +6

    My last luxury purchase was paying for dinner with my parents last night. Food was good, but very overpriced when compared to cooking. Pretty sure I’m picking up the bill just to impress them and not seem cheap.

  • @thecomet9999
    @thecomet9999 2 місяці тому +6

    Being self aware is the enemy of commercialism. After loosing loved ones and having to deal with the things they left behind, I understand that the things I have are not wanted by anyone but me, I keep this in mind with every purchase I make. Thank you lovely for your down to earth, insightful view of the human condition. ❤️✌️

    • @Feribrat99
      @Feribrat99 7 днів тому

      Ah the Swedish Death Cleaning follow up for living without clutter.

  • @antant6217
    @antant6217 2 місяці тому +27

    my father gaslights me whenever i prefer to save over spend. for example, i turned down expensive bedding sheets to go with new bed (old bed was awful, so necessary) because i like my pillows and blankets. he basically gaslights me into thinking i'm not happy with my current situation and that i should spend more on things to make me happy
    saving money makes me happy. being healthy and saving money on food makes me feel better about myself. pretty much my only "miscellaneous" expenses are my gym membership (i have cerebral palsy and value specific machines) and a more expensive internet bill.
    i have a lot of internalized ableism and i do get depressed, but i don't spend money on instant gratification because i will feel WORSE for wasting money. saving feels good and it's not like I deprive myself on food. If anything, ordering out less often makes me savor my treats and makes them feel rewarding

    • @yeetmeng7258
      @yeetmeng7258 2 місяці тому +3

      Just know that you are in the right mindset to overcome your depressive times. The fact you are aware of how you spend and the rate at which you consume affects your mental state is the most important factor to understand and sustain your problems. You should be proud of yourself, I know I am and I wish you a good day.

    • @mgtowski395
      @mgtowski395 2 місяці тому

      Sleep is important.

    • @knrdvmmlbkkn
      @knrdvmmlbkkn 2 місяці тому

      "my father gaslights (...) save over spend."
      I think I know the feeling. A lot of people try to get me to purchase a "smartphone". I don't want it, I don't need it but yet - somehow - I "have to".

    • @seltzermint5
      @seltzermint5 2 місяці тому +3

      My mom fully believes me and my husband should be deep in debt, in a huge house with 2 expensive brand new cars. We would be living paycheck to paycheck if we did that and would not be happy! As it stands, we live beneath our means debt free and still have everything we need. Our wants are not brand new cars and a flashy house like hers were.

  • @Christian-qu9ml
    @Christian-qu9ml 2 місяці тому +26

    My car is 27 years old. Runs very well. I have owned it since 1999. It is a Ford Falcon. A mechanic told me that these cars run forever. He said any car post 2000 doesn't last. He said that Falcons are the best cars ever made.

    • @seltzermint5
      @seltzermint5 2 місяці тому +2

      My Kia hatchback is a 2006 I bought new and still running beautifully at 18 years old. I admit I've recently started looking for a newer car (not brand new, something maybe 4-6 yrs old I will pay cash) but it's mainly a cosmetic thing, I admit I'd like something "prettier", a different color, with a few more features like a navigation screen and cruise control. But I love having no car payment for the past 14+ years and would never have another car payment now that I'm older and more stable financially.

    • @johannewyatt3336
      @johannewyatt3336 2 місяці тому +3

      My 2002 Hyundai Accent is still going strong. I'm the original owner and it just keeps on ticking.

    • @thomaschew2191
      @thomaschew2191 2 місяці тому +2

      Our daily driver is a 2012 Ford Escape. It turned 200K miles on the clock this week. We drive 500/miles per week commute. Very few mechanical problems but the car does look like heck from the salt they put on the roads.

    • @recynd77
      @recynd77 2 місяці тому +2

      We have a 1993 Ford Ranger with no frills. But it’s reliable!

    • @1dameister1
      @1dameister1 2 місяці тому

      I don't know where you live, but if the climate is cold in the winter and has rainfall through some of the year, the underbody of the car would worry me a quite a bit and rust on those old cars is big problem.

  • @doyeworrell1680
    @doyeworrell1680 2 місяці тому +9

    I’m 65 years old so I can remember back in the 1980s everyone had to wear the designer jeans, have the designer purse, the desire to just fit in with this trend at my job was so real for me. I never went really crazy with thousands of dollars in credit card debt like some of my friends but I finally realized I could never keep up the lifestyle on my meager wage, I had to change my mindset or I was heading into real financial trouble.

  • @lynnoorman2144
    @lynnoorman2144 2 місяці тому +6

    So many things folk do are to prevent themselves stopping and looking at themselves. Some go shopping or do loads of voluntary work or go manically to the gym/running/ other work out or overeat or browse Amazon etc. It takes really courage to stop and look within.

  • @jennie7
    @jennie7 2 місяці тому +14

    Contentment. Very true. I find myself there these days. I’m content with the things I have. I’m not rich, not poor, just grateful for the health I do have, the small things like my garden, and bare minimum “things” in my home. Definitely don’t want to keep up with the Jones. An old gentleman said he was an “essentialist” on a video I watched. I resonated with that. I buy the essentials, and sometimes do get myself a treat here and there. I get my dopamine hit from my hobby, rather than from shopping, and it’s been helping this year with the depression I had. Great topic!

    • @AccordingtoNicole
      @AccordingtoNicole  2 місяці тому +12

      Being content with what you have and wanting nothing more makes you society’s biggest threat. And that’s a good thing.

    • @LynsAlteredArts
      @LynsAlteredArts 2 місяці тому +2

      You watch Tim also. Ever hit since he said that in a video I like to say I’m an essentialist. Most of the friends that I have are hoarders or just clutter bugs, but two people I know are actual hoarders, diagnosable. They all think I’m a minimalist, and it looks like no one lives here, or like a model home, but, I’m just in essentialist, I do have decorations and things that aren’t essential but my rule of thumb is have nothing on the floor except furniture legs.

    • @YeshuaKingMessiah
      @YeshuaKingMessiah 2 місяці тому

      What’s ur hobby?

    • @YeshuaKingMessiah
      @YeshuaKingMessiah 2 місяці тому

      @@LynsAlteredArtsno rugs or floor pillows? Maybe if I had no kids…

    • @LynsAlteredArts
      @LynsAlteredArts 2 місяці тому +1

      @@YeshuaKingMessiah I do have an area rug in the living room and I have trash cans on the floor but basically no junk laying around on the floor makes it so much easier to clean.

  • @RiteOn
    @RiteOn 2 місяці тому +13

    In reality, society is the killer of moral. Every message trying to get you to buy something stresses your deficit. From religion to shopping, every message demonstrates your imperfection. We are literally being killed by the need to sell something. Food, drugs, healthcare, all marketed for the market not our wellbeing. It's impossible to stay positive with all the crap we are sold.

    • @deb1130
      @deb1130 2 місяці тому +2

      I had this realization a few days ago, looking at my 70 year old face in the mirror. “Why do your wrinkles worry you?” “Why do your hooded eyes worry you?” “Why does your thin hair worry you?” And each time, the answer was “Because SOCIETY TOLD ME this is an issue.” Pffft, that’s not a good reason.

  • @mikem3695
    @mikem3695 2 місяці тому +19

    You're not mentioning the other totally useless addictions or crutches that are wasteful and actually harmful in most cases:
    Drugs, booze, weed, gambling, cigs, tats, piercings, makeup, hairstyles, etc.

    • @markbajek2541
      @markbajek2541 2 місяці тому

      I can see a decent haircut as a confidence booster,. but yeah the first 6 or so on your list are just like flushing money down the toilet

  • @ivanpadilla4479
    @ivanpadilla4479 2 місяці тому +7

    If you know what enough is for yourself, it’s really hard for “them” to sell you stuff.

  • @georgeandrews2839
    @georgeandrews2839 2 місяці тому +2

    Buying stuff you don't need is a dopamine rush. It's a hard monkey to get off your back, just like any other addiction.

  • @johnyang1420
    @johnyang1420 2 місяці тому +3

    If you cant pay for a car with cash, you cant afford it. I have never had car payments and I never will.

  • @learningisfun2108
    @learningisfun2108 2 місяці тому +25

    Good video, Nicole. Not flashy, no ranting; rather rock solid advice. Thx. As an aside, I believe that the more we chase happiness or contentment, the less we have. I find it best just to throw myself into activities and hobbies, relationships and exercise, then the contentment just settles in. Like a butterfly: chase it and you’ll never catch it. Ignore it and it may land on your nose. Keep up the good work.

    • @mettamorph4523
      @mettamorph4523 2 місяці тому

      Excellent advice. You taught me something. Thank you.
      I've never had connection in the way that I think I want. I spend money to fill a longstanding void.

  • @Roobs222
    @Roobs222 2 місяці тому +27

    This women is so wise 🙌 I appreciate you thank you for making us understand 🙏

  • @kens805
    @kens805 2 місяці тому +15

    I'm 76 years old, have absolutely no debt what so ever and have a sweet kind wife. I believe happiness is ALWAYS HAVE SOMETHING to look forward to!! When faced with a decision, three things talk to you: Your head,your heart, and your guts. ALWAYS go with your gut!!

    • @recynd77
      @recynd77 2 місяці тому

      My dad (92) says the same as you: “The key to happiness is to learn, earn, and yearn.”

    • @kens805
      @kens805 2 місяці тому

      Smart man!! LOL@@recynd77

  • @nancyknott3389
    @nancyknott3389 2 місяці тому +1

    I’ll tell you something which I recently purchased, which I never thought I would ever spend that much money on such an item. It was a Kate Spade purse, which I hadn’t made a conscious decision to buy. I don’t regret it, I still feel good about it.
    I recently lost my younger brother unexpectedly. This has had a profound effect on me, of course. In one way I realize how little time I may have, and I have begun to make small changes in my life, to enjoy the here and now. I hope to add travel to those changes.
    Thank you Nicole for the insightful video.

  • @therationalistparty9742
    @therationalistparty9742 2 місяці тому +2

    Nichole Ive noticed that you and I think very similarly. Often I feel so different from the rest of society for being so simple and blunt and having the ability to be good eith money. The only thing missing is somebody to share it all with.

  • @SheilainFlorida
    @SheilainFlorida 2 місяці тому +20

    I think it’s because tomorrow isn’t guaranteed. It’s about balance between sacrificing today for a better future and living as full a life as possible at the same time. Develop a realistic plan within your priorities and stick with it, rewards will follow. 👍

    • @soundcasts2udios
      @soundcasts2udios 2 місяці тому +2

      I have a mentality of believing tomorrow is guaranteed and well, I'm still here

    • @ChelleJohn
      @ChelleJohn 2 місяці тому

      I agree. I have a friend who does everything, and I mean everything, on the cheap, almost to the point of appearing greedy. It works for her but I would hate to live like that because you’re right, tomorrow isn’t guaranteed and you can’t take your money with you when you’re gone. I think there’s a happy medium.

    • @restlesscow2137
      @restlesscow2137 2 місяці тому

      ​@@soundcasts2udios Well, one day you may just get a diagnosis you were not expected or want. Happened to me a couple weeks ago. Balance is always best I feel

  • @elijaprice
    @elijaprice День тому

    Funnily enough, I say this all the time to my wife - Happiness is fleeting, and impossible in the long-term. What's important is contentment. Being comfortable. Having good experiences. Putting more good into the world than you take out.

  • @tomhancock8184
    @tomhancock8184 2 місяці тому +4

    Of all the great advice you have given, this is possibly the most universally useful. Things, objects, and stuff are external and can not create lasting happiness. You have to find it in yourself. Please keep up.the good work.

  • @paulnorberg3869
    @paulnorberg3869 2 місяці тому +5

    I’m enjoying the echoes of a previous life that I’m hearing reflected here. In a sort of oblique way you’re getting after the meaning of life. To fully live in this life, body, and time that we have without regrets or shame, to seek learning and time instead of flashy things and flashy people. You’re a source of validation for the me that’s using some stoicism to look through the shine and curb appeal of stuff I can now afford but don’t really need.
    Thank you for putting this work out here.

  • @TheDowntownHermit-xj6rq
    @TheDowntownHermit-xj6rq 2 місяці тому +8

    Diogenes the dog was not just a Stoic, But a minimalist.
    It's not the one who has the most that is wealthiest, But the one who wants the least.

  • @Soxandnicole
    @Soxandnicole 2 місяці тому +2

    You hit the nail right on the head.
    One Monday morning I woke up and went to work. I had no intention to buy a car. At lunch, out of total unhappiness, I bought a Nissan 300ZX turbo, candy apple red. This was in 1985 and I paid 25K. I had no down payment and $800.00 monthly payment.

  • @jamesmcbride7621
    @jamesmcbride7621 2 місяці тому +2

    Congratulations on 50k. 51k is better than a 49k. A 52k is better than a 48k. Exceeding 50k views is a hell of an accomplishment and I would like to personally congratulate you

  • @tnmcru2153
    @tnmcru2153 2 місяці тому +10

    A good human companion is KEY !!!

  • @ypey1
    @ypey1 2 місяці тому +4

    owning shit is overrated, bigly

  • @Factory400
    @Factory400 2 місяці тому +6

    My cats and dogs are keeping me broke 😅😅😅.
    Totally worth it.

  • @norwegianblue2017
    @norwegianblue2017 2 місяці тому +6

    People think it is odd that I own a house worth over one million US dollars, but drive a 13 year old car. I do plan on getting a newer car, but only when used car prices come down along with interest rates. I refuse to dump tens of thousands of dollars into a massively depreciating asset and interest. Plus, my current car never gives me any problems.

    • @nikij.6058
      @nikij.6058 2 місяці тому

      Me too. I have two old cars and one newer 2017 car. They all run fine and are paid for. I think of getting newer ones but then think twice when I see the prices!

  • @Tivi1770
    @Tivi1770 2 місяці тому +7

    Everything is paid off but my house. I don't buy a new car, don't go out to eat, canceled most subscription plans or lowered it, planted my veggies and herbs, and I don't do impulse buys . I dont have a cc. I don't compare myself with others, but it took me some time to work on myself, etc. I'm happy the way it is. I've had to make some adjustments, but I'm in a better place.

  • @MovingToEcuador
    @MovingToEcuador 2 місяці тому +9

    I think this is your best video ever. It's going to be an eye-opened for lots of folks.

  • @Deets-Does-Stuff
    @Deets-Does-Stuff 2 місяці тому +8

    Thank you. There are times that I’m just too tired to respond to people that say things to me like “I know you aren’t paid enough but I can’t afford to tip you when I order food delivery.” I want to say - hang on - reflect on your choice to begin with. Food delivery is in fact a luxury service - and do I think it’s unfair how little these companies pay their drivers? Yes. Do I hate how these corporations make the driver look like the bad guy? Absolutely. Do I think their fees are too high? Sure do. But at the end of the day, it’s still a luxury to have your food delivered. And you should be able to afford to pay everyone involved in it if you’re going to use the service. Especially if you know the drivers aren’t getting any of those fees. I do hope the fees go down and it becomes more affordable to order food again, and that they start paying drivers enough to begin with. But until then, maybe don’t use the service if you can’t actually afford it? (And now I’ll wait for the barrage of hate telling me how I should get a “real job” and that I’m just whining, when in fact I’m just trying to discuss the reality of the situation. Go ahead, I don’t think I have it in me to fight back this time around…but at least the thread might help the algorithm for Nicole!)

    • @myaccount9498
      @myaccount9498 2 місяці тому +3

      All valid points except u do have a real job! Gig work is a tough grind & yes if tipping is normal where u live, customers should definitely pay up! I'm in Australia. Take care mate 👍 💙

    • @nikij.6058
      @nikij.6058 2 місяці тому +3

      Never get food delivered. Cost way too much and is a waste of money. And one of the reasons is knowing I should tip. The actual cost of the tip is much more than the gas to go get the food myself. It’s a convenience people just don’t need. Your job is filling a need that has been created by convenience and is a real job none the less.

    • @lynnoorman2144
      @lynnoorman2144 2 місяці тому +2

      I agree with you. Employers, in so many fields of work should be paying a proper wage that folks can live off. It should also be law that every CEO and the managers should have to, one week a year do a frontline/workshop floor job within their company- then they might learn that people are worth getting paid correctly and honorably.

  • @cheriesvansson5117
    @cheriesvansson5117 2 місяці тому +2

    This is a great video. Unfortunately this is the norm for so many people who aren't content with what they have. It is all too easy to spend money we either do or don't have needlessly. Doing so just breeds more discontentment and leads to vicious cycles of money addiction and general unhappiness. A big part of it I think is taking the time to look more inward and seeing that money is simply a tool to get the things we need and that the best things in life cost us nothing.

  • @soundcasts2udios
    @soundcasts2udios 2 місяці тому +4

    short term gratification is a lot easier to achieve than long term gratification

  • @thebudgetingbaker2023
    @thebudgetingbaker2023 2 місяці тому +1

    I now look at my budget as a business. My emotions where so wrapped up in my finances that put me in debt. Now when the emotions start I have to stay away from money!

  • @busterbluesun
    @busterbluesun 2 місяці тому +2

    I would add pet expenses to those top three, we will do anything for our pets. Keeping them healthy and happy is not a luxury but a necessity imo. My cats are my kids❤️

  • @CupcakeCottage
    @CupcakeCottage 2 місяці тому +3

    A hobby is definitely a source of happiness if you love doing it. You just chose the wrong hobby. It takes a lot of trial and error to find the right one.

  • @timisaac8121
    @timisaac8121 2 місяці тому +1

    Hey Nicole: First time visitor to your channel: I purchased my home in 2004 and paid it completely. My car is paid completely. I grow so much food and my chicken give me eggs. Yet, I remain a super saver. Why? Bc I want to relocate further south and build a renewal source of electricity to provide for "anyone" who wants to live nearby. Why is pretty important. A strong why makes everything "okay". So the number 1 thing is "buying sh*t randonly". I really like your hair. On one vid, it appears it could be a wig. Either way, wig or natural, I love your look. You seem very bold and assertive in a good way. Thanks!

  • @gingerstrait836
    @gingerstrait836 2 місяці тому +17

    I agree so much! When you are content, you can honestly say, “Life is good!” Thank you!

  • @bree8150
    @bree8150 2 місяці тому +3

    This was so SPOT ON. Enjoyment and happiness are not the same thing. 👏🏼

  • @crazysquirrel9425
    @crazysquirrel9425 2 місяці тому +1

    People forget the HIGH INSURANCE costs associated with buying a new car too.
    And in some States, they tax you annually on that car just to get your tags.
    Want to save an easy $500-$600 per year?
    Ditch the cell phone.
    Family of 4 can save thousands by tossing cell phones.
    Oh and everything you spend money on is AFTER you already paid taxes on that money.
    Amazing what people squander their money on....

  • @valerieewing4023
    @valerieewing4023 2 місяці тому +12

    I would say that I'm pretty content with most things in my life. I have a modest house that is keeping my growing family safe and comfortable, my job provides enough for me to maintain said home and family even without input from my boyfriend (though it helps for the extras). Our cars are reliable and we have enough to put towards retirement. The only thing I'm not really content about is the few major problems with the house that are very costly that need to be addressed in the next few years. We are slowly taking care of those things and I'll be even more content when those things are taken care of!

  • @jimscharfenberger2
    @jimscharfenberger2 2 місяці тому +3

    This video underscores the value of looking within for happiness. Thanks, Nicole, for your refreshing observations on achieving a less stressful life!😊

  • @wilrohan2985
    @wilrohan2985 2 місяці тому +1

    I used to work as a contract engineer for short gigs all over the country. The money was great, but I was always lonely and usually bored. So the first thing I did when I arrived in a new town and rented a room was to apply for a library card. I would learn about the local sites and culture.

  • @thehomeeclady
    @thehomeeclady 2 місяці тому +1

    My last purchase was a salad spinner that I got at the thrift store for $1 because I just planted my garden seeds. I have a feeling it will bring me lots of happiness over the summer as I eat my free salads.

  • @jonscrivner9087
    @jonscrivner9087 2 місяці тому +1

    She's talking about her experience of self-awareness discovery
    This is the key to happiness.

  • @dainasworldnumbers88
    @dainasworldnumbers88 Місяць тому +1

    Always love your content.

  • @jeanieolahful
    @jeanieolahful 2 місяці тому +1

    You’re so right, Nicole. People need to learn to be more happy in the present, and to find ways to appreciate the things they have, and find ways to enjoy life more. Most things that make us happy are usually free.

  • @johnepperson8867
    @johnepperson8867 2 місяці тому

    I sure NEEDED this video today, Thanks Nicole.

  • @sackwhack
    @sackwhack 2 місяці тому +1

    It took me until I hit 30 to realize that much of the crap I was buying wasn't fulfilling me and was really driven by a sense of boredom, sadness, and sometimes loneliness. Even though I was well paid for my age, I just spent all my income on frivolous stuff, having only a couple thousand dollars in the bank to my name. The weird thing is that even then, on a conscious level, I acknowledged the old saying "buying stuff doesn't bring us happiness". However it is one thing to understand something and another to embrace it. I think what finally clicked for me was when I realized how money can afford us freedom, flexibility and time and I was throwing all that away in exchange for some stuff to dust away in the storage...

  • @emc6511
    @emc6511 2 місяці тому +1

    Excellent again, Nicole !! Reminded me of something I read somewhere (?) that: A common theme running thru each bad decision that compromises future $ecurity & happine$$ is that the person wasn't dealing from a position of power. Because: Impaired by stress or DEPRESSION. Because: Weak due to recent loss or other roadblock. Because: Lacked sufficient knowledge to properly evaluate & anticipate consequences of actions.

  • @r.l.howard8459
    @r.l.howard8459 2 місяці тому +4

    Nicole.... your videos have helped me with my money stories so much. I appreciate your wisdom so much, so grateful you made a youtube channel to share these insights. Thank you!!

  • @rigbino
    @rigbino 2 місяці тому

    congats on 50k subscribers! thank you for being one of my mentors

  • @robertflores8789
    @robertflores8789 2 місяці тому +1

    I love myself for finding your channel!! I hear your words and know that not only am I not the only one who’s made sooo many questionable financial decisions but that I can come back from them and will.
    I love your channel. You are the friend I’ve been looking for. We will never meet and your words will continue to resonate, challenge and inspire me.

  • @kerryf9796
    @kerryf9796 2 місяці тому +2

    We chose to buy our new home in the town we did because this house just 2 miles north would cost up to 4k more per year in property taxes. Crazy, but true!
    A good friend of mine is my total opposite. She will spend money she doesn't have for things she wants. Her house is absolutely gorgeous, and they just put in a beautiful pool. It's hard not to be a little envious. The truth is we COULD upgrade and we COULD put in a pool, but the idea of paying off our mortgage is a lot more appealing to me. Honestly the thought of knowing how much extra we'd owe for those things would make me enjoy them a whole lot less.
    My husband and I both purchased pre-owned cars. I kept my last car for 10 years, until it started to become too expensive to repair and I'll do the same with the car I have now. They are both long fully paid for, and we also have a designated bank account for when it's time to buy new ones.
    No amount of new shiny things could make me happier than the feeling of having money saved.

  • @paulabeattie8565
    @paulabeattie8565 7 днів тому +1

    excellent points, wise beyond your years.

  • @keitha.9788
    @keitha.9788 2 місяці тому +1

    Things you own end up owning you.... Get rid of stuff that you don't use or don't need. When you go shopping and you see something you like, ask yourself if you really need it. If the answer is no, then walk away.... It gets easier the more you practice this behavior.....

  • @ogvelociraptor205
    @ogvelociraptor205 2 місяці тому +1

    Nicole You are an amazing person with advice that is educational and helpful.
    I also like how There's more people discovering the joys of living a minimalist/frugal lifestyle.
    I've made big changes in how I eat along with what I purchase too getting rid of clutter that no longer holds any value to Me.
    ❤😊❤

  • @thechosenwon2207
    @thechosenwon2207 2 місяці тому +1

    Love your content. The way I got over my amazon addiction of late night shopping is - I’d place all those items in the cart and click “save for later”. I’d take another look the following day at those saved items and as I was deleting them I was laughing at the stuff I almost convinced myself I couldn’t live without 😂. It wasn’t easy, I see why Bezos has a $500M yacht.

  • @raymondsimmons1617
    @raymondsimmons1617 2 місяці тому +1

    I agree that housing, transportation and food are generally the biggest expenses in a budget. I have been able to cut 1 out and it has made a huge difference.
    I enjoy saving, doing a budget, and investing the leftover money that I have each month. By saving the most that I can in the present, I am sacrificing some joy today to have a more abundant future. I am on a 10 year "save the most that I can" plan.
    I enjoy your videos because they will help me with my goals.

  • @BathtubMary
    @BathtubMary 2 місяці тому +10

    We need more voices like yours because this thought process will also lead one to being a better person who leads a better life and makes other peoples lives better in other ways that people don’t think of immediately. You hit another homer out of the park on this one, Nicole. Keep going!!! 🎉

    • @jennie7
      @jennie7 2 місяці тому +4

      I wish I could give this more likes. Completely agree. My thoughts as well when I was listening along

  • @smartypants1980
    @smartypants1980 2 місяці тому +4

    The new thing keeping me broke is my imposiveness and my new credit limit. But I have a good plan to get back on track.
    How is Levi's belly this week?

    • @crocadoodle7101
      @crocadoodle7101 2 місяці тому +1

      Do you mean ‘impulsiveness’ and new credit limit?
      The best plan is to work on your impulsiveness and saying I don’t need to buy this today. Maybe I will buy it next week. Step back, take a breath and refocus on the plan of saving money.

  • @LindaDooWop
    @LindaDooWop 2 місяці тому +3

    You're so much fun that all I have to do is see one of your videos available to change my mood way for the better!

  • @annettetoohey8934
    @annettetoohey8934 2 місяці тому

    Congratulations on your vlogs. ❤

  • @8aemi
    @8aemi 2 місяці тому +1

    This is my favorite of all your videos so far ❤ .. thank you so much for reminding me on the important things in life 😊

  • @xlerb2286
    @xlerb2286 2 місяці тому +4

    You're spot on. We're so good at sabotaging ourselves and the worst culprit is "just this once", as in, I'll buy this thing, but then I'll start being responsible. You can just this once yourself into the poor house. I'm fortunate I've never been a spender. I grew up pretty short on pocket money and I got in the habit of saving the bit of money I had for things that were really important to me, not just some shiny toy.

  • @terryjohnson3929
    @terryjohnson3929 2 місяці тому +1

    You are amazing . You speak the truth on so many levels. Thank you for your wisdom.

  • @BacktoFrugal
    @BacktoFrugal Місяць тому

    Being CONTENT and Frugal helps a lot, less stuff, less cleaning, less debt, etc. I dedicated a whole channel to it, along with a book. I know a few frugal content millionaires and I know a few people who appear to be wealthy and happy on the outside, but drowning in debt behind closed doors. True story.

  • @d.k.barker9465
    @d.k.barker9465 2 місяці тому

    Excellent Analysis! Thanks!

  • @katietaylor5544
    @katietaylor5544 2 місяці тому +1

    Your videos have really helped me change my mindset around money - thank you! 😊

  • @cr-iv1el
    @cr-iv1el 2 місяці тому +1

    Good info! Thank you for being vulnerable for us.

  • @shirleydenton4747
    @shirleydenton4747 2 місяці тому

    Oh my, it was meant for me to see this today on Easter Sunday.Yes, hobbies have been my downfall lol. Will follow, because I can learn more than frugality from you,

  • @anneeastaway2311
    @anneeastaway2311 2 місяці тому +2

    You are providing a great service with this very practical and important advice I love your channel and I hope you get many more subscribers so that you can reach many more people.

  • @CyndyTangerineyyyy
    @CyndyTangerineyyyy 2 місяці тому

    Congrats on 50K, Nicole! You deserve it!! Hope you get 100K soon~
    I agree that unhappiness is the #1 thing keeping us broke. Your intro was very well made with you explaining the cost of housing, transportation, and food. [: