I'm a 55 yr old married 3 times and has had some experiences that have made me live alone.i prefer being a lone wolf,don't worry young man.your better off dealing with you,and your not alone,other lonewolfs are here for you.
Yeah, but consider that you've actually got to experience things and then decided that you'd prefer to be alone, this young man didn't have a choice. There's a vast difference there.
I had bad acne too and it really inhibited me. I felt like I was a leper. But lucky I guess for me my acne calmed down by the end of high school, and I looked at college as a new starting point. And it worked. I'm 50 years old and I still regularly see friends from college. You need to stop looking at life possibilities as something to be terrified of and rather something to expand your possibilities. As a blessing. Give yourself that credit
Hey man; I just want to spontaneously tell you my genuine thoughts of just those 10 minutes knowing, seeing and listening to you. 1. You are a great communicator, you have a nice voice, you talk smooth and clear, you keep it simple but all you say is interesting 2. You are charismatic 3. You appear smart and emotionally intelligent -in the way you talk and approach things but also that's just the aura about you! 4. You are attractive and good looking (what?! it's true!) 5. You obviously lack confidence and do not realise your strenghts (see above) You do not have a realistic image of yourself? -not sure about number 5, that is just the way it would appear- 6. Based on all the above, challenge yourself to believe in yourself and CHALLENGE yourself to go and get out there. Again: dare to CHALLENGE yourself to do things you may think you cannot do, but you CAN. Yes you can. Talk in front of a group, etc... You only have one life, nothing to lose trying little by little. I imagine you are empathetic, and that you also over analyse too much what others may think of you etc, which can turn toxic. Tell yourself: 'I DON'T CARE'!! I do it for me, life is short and it is never too late to make it worth. Time is never lost, we all learn in different ways, but YOU need to make it happen, no one else will. Be courageous to make it happen in exactly the same courageous way you made this video happen despite your fears. With the above 1 to 4, you are very likeable and most people would naturally want you as a friend (including me based on the 10 minutes video hehe! ;) I hope I didn't sound too cliché. And well if I did, cliché is very often the most simple and best way :) Make it happen, just for you! :)
I don't know if this will help but... In my early twenties, I began college with the same problem. Speaking in front of other people had become very difficult for me. I often had anxiety attacks, with all the symptoms that go with it. I have been looking for a miracle cure for a long time, but the thing that has helped me is to force myself to speak in front of others, again, and again, and again. Several times the other students must have wondered what was happening to me, and I must have been "weird" to them. By repeating this exercise over and over again, I finished my university defending my thesis without trembling and stuttering. Exposing yourself is in my opinion the best way to overcome that and get confidence. It will help you for schools, jobs, and with relationships too! I wish you good luck and I'm sure that everything will work out in the end :)
Best tip ever bro: your must prepare everything beforehand; master it, I mean practice alone at home, then interviews talks etc will be a peace of cake...! Trust me !!
I appreciate what it takes to expose this issue on this medium. I believe I have been silently suffering from this issue for 40 years, Now I can work on repairing myself.
Hey man, we are the same age, 25, and had almost the same experience. I didn’t go to college right away, and I lost my group of friends by the time I was 19-20. It sucks because you feel left behind and like you’re the only person going through this period. Since then I’ve literally had no close friends, just work acquaintances. I went back part time to school at 23 and now plan on going back to campus at 25. Everyone had their own timeline and that’s all that really matters!
Hey thanks for reaching out and sharing a bit of your story! That's exactly how I've felt with being left behind and on my own but it's people like you who make it better and help me realize Im not alone. Thanks again for the positivity!
@@andyheideman5618 No problem! It's good to know that others were feeling the same way about not having friends in general! The one thing that helped me is knowing that everyone has their own timeline. Whether you decide to go back to school or not, I hope you follow your passion!
I am an Air Force veteran and just a little info. In basic, you do not have to speak much nor do you have to read aloud in classes. In fact, keeping your mouth shut and following directions is a plus in basic training. You are in a group but being to yourself and quiet isn't necessarily bad as long as you can work together in your group in a cohesive way - get along with others, cooperate to achieve tasks, follow directions, etc. I am an introvert with social anxiety and basic was easy for me. However, once you get out of basic, it is like most jobs in that you have to communicate with others on a fairly good level. That was harder for me but I actually thrived in the Air Force becasue the military community is a smaller microcosm of our larger society. The military community has a lot of support. I found it easier to handle than out here in society at large. Just sharing my experience as an introvert/anxiety sufferer.
It didn't happen that way for me, but I think it could have. Maybe I just got lucky, real lucky. Found my treasure. But I'm curious, if you were surrounded by people that let you be yourself and did not shun you for who you are. You know, people who are genuinely interested in your best interest. What are you looking for in a friend or sweetheart? Give it a try, I'm all ears. Thanks for your post. Note, I don't think social media is the way, because people are not sincere. Take care.
you’re such a great speaker and seem like a very nice person likable humble sincere you expressing your loneliness to the world is wildly Brave if you can do this you can do all the things your anxious about your very good looking too maybe join a local sports team for friends and community you are young these problems will pass you’ve already proven you’ve got courage now. go have some fun you deserve it we’re pulling for you !
3:25 is me too. I absolutely cannot read in front of people, and it sucks because reading has always been a big strength of mine. I can’t even speak over my breathing, I can tell the few times I’ve had to read in front of my coworkers they looked at me like something was wrong.
Wow, great video Andy. Really enjoy listening to your story. You are not alone out there, we all experience this sense of having no friends. Even if you have friends but see them rarely it makes you think you have none. I myself have experienced this as well. Keep your head up young man, you'll find people like yourself and you'll never be alone.
3:50 Avoidance brings short-term relief but long-term breeds the anxiety - you have to face the fear, slowly but surely. Easier said than done, I know! Maybe start doing some public reading with your parents or siblings, if supportive? Thanks for sharing your experiences 🙂
When I was 20, I stuttered for the first time in my life, and ever since then I've been super self conscious when I talk. I also have social anxiety now because of it.
Thanks Andy, you really seem like a genuine and smart person! About the fear of reading and talking in front of people.. I have had the same problem. It started when I was twelve. When I was sixteen years old, I went to therapy and my wonderful therapist recommended beta blockers to me. At first I was skeptical and did not want to use any medication, but trying them out was the best thing and it saved my life. I don't use the medication regularly. I only take a tablet 30 minutes before I know I have to give a lecture or participate in an official conversation at work. Without the medication I would not be the professional that I am today, 31 years later of my first beta blocker tablet. Most musicians (violinists, pianists, etc.) use this medication when they perform at a concert, so that they don't get nervous and can fully focus on playing the piece. All the best to you from Europe! 😊
Was there ever a time in your life when you had friends or where you were more social? Can you point to a time when you began to struggle socially or to isolate? Any addictions to alcohol, drugs, porn, etc? I think being able to answer these questions will help you to understand where you came from and where you are today. Just from watching this video, it's obvious you have the ability and skills to communicate. Now, how to transfer that from a camera to face to face interaction, right? I hope you'll feel free to talk about this at least here with us. It doesn't have to stay this way.
Hey thanks for watching! I didnt think it was that bad at all, although its a little different than giving a speech in person to 17 thousand people! But thanks again for reaching out!
That happened to me as well. I was very outgoing and Sofia and once I stopped playing sports in sophomore I slowly started to become less secure about my looks and myself. One thing that has helped me is meditation. Meditation isn’t about not thinking about anything. Sure when you meditate you’ll think about nothing here and there but it’s not the goal of meditation. Mindfulness Meditation is about watching your thoughts pass by without judgment. Then coming back to your breath. It’s a cycle. Eventually your thoughts won’t control you as much and you’ll be able to cope with the anxiety better
I can relate to this so much I do have one friend but I do have social anxiety & ocd so I get the pain of feeling lonely daily. Thanks for reaching out by posting the video thanks.
I had this problem going to church, I couldn’t deal with the multiple greetings of random strangers. I saw this type of non-denominational loud sing and the music seemed new. I seemed like a thousand people. I wanted to experience it but was very afraid. I figured that if I came in late and left early thing would work for me. Didn’t want to meet anyone, didn’t want to be touched or hugged by people I didn’t know. About ten churches I found something i liked. The usher as me where I wanted to sit… “Alone”was my answer, “I am very easily distracted” two years later, i had eventually gotten. When i fly i buy the window seat and the seat next to me. That was really closer than I wanted to be. Still working on that, totally freaks me out.
I used to go to church ⛪️ years ago but I stopped because I find it too boring and slow. Since this pandemic has been happening, I don’t have to go nowadays.
Andy, you're a brave guy for speaking out about this. I too have battled this since high school and onwards. To hear your story was to listen to my own. All I can say is there is hope. I never turned to medication for this (and by nou means do I judge those who do)because I know it will just mask the symptoms instead of addressing the root cause. Here is a one liner that got me through some very tough situations. "Do it afraid." Yes, sounds so simple I know. It's not a weakness to feel fear. We just have to push ourselves little by little every time we land in those uncomfortable moments. This is how I still push myself through hard social experiences while feeling that fear. You'll feel it but you don't have to let it rule your life. I promise you, every small step you take is a victory and it will increase your confidence levels. Hang in there man, there is a good plan for your life. You're gonna conquer this! Consider reading Battlefield of the mind by Joyce Meyer. Helped me a great deal.
I'm 20 and just entered Durham University as a new undergraduate the last month and I have no friends here. I found somehow I had a little social anxiety disorder when I was in senior high school. But at least there were fewer students in school than uni and dozens of us were put in one class, having the same timetable, meeting every day，which created a comfort zone for me to socialize. In a nutshell, the social circle at that time was small, so I had several friends and some acquaintances that I could talk with even if in fact they were not so close to me . However, the situation in a uni has changed. My social anxiety is getting much worse cuz there are so many people from different places, doing different courses，hustle and bustle. But I don't know how to have a continuous and interesting conversation with other freshers . Almost all of those conversations between me and them were just old subjects like "what are u studying","where are u from","what's your name",etc, which then was followed by awkward silence or "bye","see u later"… Durham University is collegiate like Oxford and Cambridge, students are allocated to different colleges, providing them with social environment and sense of belonging, which indeed attracted me to apply for it for I used to think perhaps I could make some new friends in this way. Unfortunately the reality is always cruel, I'm too shy and introverted to socialize in front of crowds. And I found most freshers got to know each other very soon then their friendship groups formed. It seems that everyone around me has had companions to hang out with，while I spend most of my spare time in my tiny dorm room doing my own things, hearing laughter and singing from other rooms passing throug my door, or just aimlessly walking around the city alone. I don't belong to any groups. I'm a complete outsider. Besides, I'm also afraid of talking to female, especially those among my peers…This is one of the reasons why I’ve never dated with any girls. Sometimes I regard myself as a pathetically ignored loser and weirdo that even lost the ability to socialize. I'm very confused and worried about my future.
I am reminded of what Diane Nguyen said in an episode of Bojack Horseman: "....the only thing you can do is be good to the people in your life, and to keep your heart open." That can be applied to what you're feeling now in regards to social anxiety. I understand that the trauma won't be easy to overcome, but I have hope that you will find your own tactic to eliminate the issue. Maybe you can try watching some speeches or Ted Talks from different people and studying how they present themselves? Maybe they can inspire you. Just a suggestion. I would also suggest in the meantime to use this solitary time with no friends to cultivate a life rich with experiences. Focus on your health especially. As others have said, you are not alone because there are thousands of others just like you. I wish you well and look forward to your future progress.
Hi there, here are 10 tips that might work to make deeper connections with others 1) Be aware that no one owns you nothing, people give what they are willing to give and thats ok 2) you might not feel special but there is only one of you in this world, so yes, your unique 3) other people feel weird all the time also 4) offering to help others and asking for help can make deeper connections 5) your motivation should be less to have a "Friend" like collecting cards, but more to share your life experience with others, some of these shared experiences can become deeper ones, like friendship. But they don't have to, don't put too much pressure on it 6) know that people come and go and that is normal, people move and also change with time, try not to take it personally 7) try to not have to many expectations, people are always different then what we might want them to be 8) try not to isolate yourself from people (I know, the current world state makes it already that way) but if you can be in activities with a community, your chances of finding deeper connections can increase 9) people might feel that you have a need for friendship, and no one likes to be needed that way, so try to remind yourself that people come and go, and that not every connection will become a friendship and thats also ok 10) to become intimate friends with someone means taking the risk of been hurt, because you need to show yourself in a more vulnerable state, be aware of the risk and be brave that it will be worth it, wenn a real connection is made. You either jump in the water or stay on the shore wondering. Thats your choice, and like that your future friend is also taking a risk with you so it goes bought ways :) Any way I hope this helps (also english is not my mother tong, so sorry for grammar mistakes)
You are a great good looking guy, have faith in yourself. On your video you didn’t stutter or acted nervous, went straight to the point. Good job! My friend.
I have so many similarities...was fine as a kid.. in fact I was usually the loudest in my group. Then in high school social anxieties began to emerge and I became much quieter. One on one, I am great, but in a group of ten people, I become quiet as a mouse. On the public speaking front, you are not alone, many people fear it more than death. It's important to accept yourself as you are but definitely keep trying to better yourself. Thanks for your video.
Andy, experiencing the same “symptoms” as you, all my life, I would encourage you first to seek some professional help. You are not crazy. There are medications that can help and I so wish I had done this years ago. Also, push through those situations that are uncomfortable, the job interviews, regardless the outcome, the self-confidence you get by just making yourself do it. You walk out out feeling better about yourself. It doesn’t happen overnight, it’s a little bit more each time. I recently lost my job of 28 years. I applied for job I really wanted and then learned this company does between 5-8 different interviews and you have to also complete candidate exercises and present them to multiple people. I messed up the first presentation because I was so nervous. Fortunately for me, the senior director of R&D saw something in me and offered me a second chance. I was so nervous the day of the second interview, I almost canceled it. I thought I was going to throw up. But I made made myself present again. I was still nervous the second time but it was better. I was offered the position the next week. Just try to push through, it will get a little easier each time. You have a lot going for you. Everything Esteban Tia said is true. You Got This!
So many of us are in the same situation, grasping at straws, distraction, anything to keep going. (I just for instance, make vids of music and movie and discuss them on my channel to have something to do) That is in the end however, all one can do, keep waiting, keep searching, keep hoping that something will come along. It's VERY difficult, but one day at a time is all you can deal with. Just keep pushing on, refusing to let it do your head in. There are no easy answers, except that difficult one, to keep pushing on day by day. It's all I do, all anyone can do for the most part.
being a lone wolf is great bro. you can experienced life from another perspective. Develop yourself in a way you cannot if you were with others. most of people have to experience the path of the lone wolf and they just can't. Is not an easy path but you can find some interesting stuff for being a lone wolf like knowing yourself and seeking knowledge. When I was a teenager being alone was a traumatize experience. I was on the library all the time reading books. but now I have my own house, my own legacy. I Do wherever I want with my time and seriously i don't feel bad. We make the mistake of associated being alone to be a bad person or not being valuble or being perceived as a valuable individual but this is not true. this is very common nowdays and every person is going to experience the alone path in their lifes. maybe when they get older butit doesn't have to be a painful experience. ofcourse sometimes it can be painful but it doesn't have to be this way. I see life as an opportunity to improve yourself, to learn and to experience. You are a valuable lindividual. And I truly hope you don't feel suffering for being alone. there is nothing wrong with it. I know what it feels like to to feel suffering because you are all alone but like I said I started to value that aspect of myself. ofcourse sometimes I want to have a girlfriend and all that stuff but I realize maybe that is something that is out of my control just like having friends. wish you the best andy and thank you for sharing.
I use to play sports hung out with the Jocks and did a lot of things, like skateboarding and snowboarding. After College, people started going separate ways and started doing their own things, having Family and that's when I stopped hanging out and doing things with my friends. Only friends I have are maybe 1 or 2 People that I now rarely communicate with, who've basically stopped answering or replying to my text messages, who were my friends for over 25 years basically from the time I was 6 Years old. Luckily I do have a Family that I live with and financially support which is what's keeping my sanity from going into deep depression. More people than you think are now socially disconnected dealing with social anxiety and depression.
Oh my, I feel for you Guy, I have a friend like you, You just have to adapt to it and deal with it one day at a time, know your limitations. Be proud of yourself. Don't be so hard on yourself. We all have our talents you just have to develop yours. You will find your niche. Love you
I learned a trick a long time ago. Dress nice & pretend to be rich & you will have more friends than you know what to do with. I used to tell women I was a successful doctor, the results were amazing! I've found people that want to be around you because of your money will work harder at relationships than most "real" friends. It's sad realization of what life is "really" like. But I see it now as the simply "The game of life & how to play it". Put yourself in the driver seat, & call the shots. Never feel bad about doing what you have to in order to get what you want in life ......
Hi Andy! Jack here! How are you feeling! Wanted to extend my personal support and encoragment to you for making these videos! They help me realize that we are not alone in dealing with social anxiety! I am very proud of you and think that you would be a very cool and awesome friend! You understand and empathize with what these issues are like. Parents just don't get it! When you were in high school, what sport(s) did you play? Thank you for this channel? Whenever this crazy world gives you time, feel free to make another update video! Thank you for caring! Peace- Jack
Hey Andy! Nice to see that you've opened up the comment section. I can guess that this decision wasn't easy for you, but now as you can see you are being welcomed by so many people. I do think about you from time to time too. From the last time I've checked your videos you've gained over 300 subscribers, that's incredible. I hope you are doing great so far. I'm looking forward to your next videos!
Quarter life crisis: never heard that before. Take some public speaking courses: they’ll help. Life’s a shit sandwich, and it’s the smart ones that figure this out early. Get back into the sports
Had the same issue. Was prescribed a beta blocker and took it when I had to speak in front of others. After a few successful attempts at public speaking, I got over the fear and can do it now without the beta blocker.
Read everything you can about anxiety, knowledge is empowering I’d do online classes, zoom. And don’t worry about not talking, some people view it as stoic. Just say, “yea I don’t read out loud.” Sometimes you just have to say the hell with it, I am who I am.
As you get older friends move away, start relationships, or as you get older you drift apart finding you have less in common than when you were younger. It is difficult to make new friends if you work on your own or arn't on any courses.
Hey brother I think your awesome and school is a joke that you don’t really need anyways. Educate yourself, relax, and keep doing your thing. Better to sell your self short than to sell yourself out.
I'm a 21 years old university student with social anxiety. From my experience at university, teachers don't even call students to speak or read. They just do their lectures and leave. However in some classes we have to give presentations or speak a little bit(especially if the class is small). But that's only every once in a while. In everyday lessons if you don't want to talk you just don't. And in my opinion that's perfect because we can go to the lectures and just listen to the teacher but at the same time we are given the opportunity to practice our presentation skills every once in a while. I just want you to know that I am also feeling stressed of being around strangers or having to talk in front of others. I am sure you can also attend university, go out of your comfort zone and respect your own boundaries at the same time.
@@mehulchoudhary5136 No not really. I just wondered why I was getting all these type video's all of a sudden. I wondered if UA-cam was sending to everyone with an Account on UA-cam.
The fact that your mum called your school to make you not read out in class is enabling.. the more you expose yourself to public speaking the better your anxiety would be.. or the better you'll find dealing with it..
@@andyheideman5618 yeah bro I mean I used to get panic attacks and walk out of social situations or even meetings at work but the more I forced myself to do repeat these 'awkward' situations... and just embraced the uncomfortable feeling/awkward silent moments the better my threshold was for panic attacks.. weird but it works lol
Please make more videos about your journey. On the next video, please have the video camera at the same level as your own eyes and do not hold the camera--you are moving it back and forth. Thank you for coming forward
Thanks for watching and for reaching out. I also appreciate the feedback with the camera situation, I'm no professional just filming it with my phone trying the best I can!
I think you are making it bigger then it really is.. there is absolutely nothing NOTHING wrong with you..... you did nothing wrong. love yourself enjoy your company, take courses, take group classes , take a trip and talk to everyone you meet. its ok if you dont have many friends you JUST NEED ONE!
The thought of the thing feared is always worse than the thing feared. Maybe because of the acne it appears you withdrew into yourself. You also didn't want to be seen. You wanted to avoid the pain you expected would happen if attention was focused on you. Which is now a full blown anxiety. The first step is to accept what is going on and not try to fight against it. Fighting against it only makes you feel worse. The fear created a "stuck energy" issue which causes anxious feelings if you even think about being seen. Please look into plant based and other remedies available to help you unstick that energy. It will also help you confront the feelings which led to them.
Thanks for reaching out, I appreciate it. That's been my experience for sure about the thought is always worse than the actual thing feared. But things have been better and I appreciate the help!
Hey Andy, this is brave of you. You uploaded a video on a social media platform and was transparent and honest about what's on. Not a lot of people can or are willing to do that. Props to you, it's not easy to do so. If you want to zoom and talk or anything let me know, in case you want to work on talking with more people/reading in front of people or whatever would help you in your journey I would be happy to help. I'm nice and I'm patient. Anyways I hope you keep working at it and therapy would likely help as well. Keep your head up!
Hey man appreciate the transparency and honesty with talking about social anxiety. It totally sucks. Not sure if you mentioned it but have you gotten any therapy or counseling in regards to social anxiety? I had major social anxiety when I was younger and I went to some counseling that really gave me the tools with how to cope with social anxiety. Your experiences with job interviews are understandable..same shit for me I hated group interviews. I think some counseling could really help though..sucks that we got to deal with an extroverted world (especially in the job world) but it is what it is. Best of luck to you man!
Hey thanks for reaching out and sharing a bit of your experience. I appreciate that! I have gone to therapy and it helped for sure. Definitely got me out of a rough place
May I ask why you don’t have any true friends? It’s too depressing and lonely when someone doesn’t have friends. I’ll be your friend if it’s all right with you.
If you were really uncomfortable reading out loud you should encourage yourself to do it more so you get used to it. This goes for pretty much anything else in life, you have to get uncomforable to be comfortable
Hi what do you think was the trigger had you always found hard to read out loud was you ever bullied at school sounds the same as my son he was bullied finds hard the same things you struggle with your not alone do it step by step your get there
Thanks for reaching out and sharing some of your experience. For me I withdrew from things I liked to do like sports and sort of lost my identity. So I didn't have that release and stressed too much about school/reading aloud.
I am planning on starting audio therapy here, (if you want I can put you in the video) using a theory that I have based on languages and the meaning of our ideas that fool ourselves. It will be like a conversation and it will be interesting for the listener, for you to get help and for me to further develop this theory that I've worked on for a decade at least and helped some people in real life. Anyone interested who has any issue, don't hesitate to write me and we get this started!
Bless your ❤. You're so young...handsome too.😉 If you're brave enough to open yourself up to strangers on video, then I bet your brave enough to fight those anxiety demons! Everyday you don't work on your issues is another day wasted, another day older & further from the potential to start college or interview for that job you want. Take online classes. Explain to professors your anxiety issues...people ARE understanding. Just do it. Force yourself. Don't be be one of those people that looks back on their life and wishes they'd have done things differently. Perhaps find a good therapist to work with you. Don't stand in your own way...thats no way to live. Best of luck!
I was laughed at and ridiculed by girls. It wasn’t the guys. They made fun of me and called me names like donkey boy. I have no idea why they would assay such a thing. Thought maybe my teeth although they are pretty straight.
I feel like in certain situations you have social anxiety but in others you do not. I mean you played sports in high school - that’s social. You went to other events with lots of people. I think the question is what is triggering this?
Other people always planning to catch or provoke you of gaurd or something, even if you prepare 99% of the time but they'll suddenly be there to paunch on you for that one percent breather when you wanst alert.
There's so many people including myself going through the same. Your not alone trust me xxx
Thanks for reaching out! There's some comfort in knowing that I'm not alone in this so thank you!
I'm a 55 yr old married 3 times and has had some experiences that have made me live alone.i prefer being a lone wolf,don't worry young man.your better off dealing with you,and your not alone,other lonewolfs are here for you.
Thank you for reaching out and for the encouragement!!
Well said.
LONE WOLVES DUMMY.
Yeah, but consider that you've actually got to experience things and then decided that you'd prefer to be alone, this young man didn't have a choice. There's a vast difference there.
Better off being a loner, focus on your hobbies and improving your skills.
I had bad acne too and it really inhibited me. I felt like I was a leper. But lucky I guess for me my acne calmed down by the end of high school, and I looked at college as a new starting point. And it worked. I'm 50 years old and I still regularly see friends from college. You need to stop looking at life possibilities as something to be terrified of and rather something to expand your possibilities. As a blessing. Give yourself that credit
Let's make a group and where we all can be friends
Do it
The UA-camr "Josh Hitti" has started one through Discord** so that might be a good place to check out ✌️
@rico yungboy 401 I apologize, since that's the exact app I meant to put in 😅
Oh! Can I join this group?! I need some friends
@@devindayley4936 look in the description of this video, there is a link!
ua-cam.com/video/bwVbqFqlB3M/v-deo.html
Hey man; I just want to spontaneously tell you my genuine thoughts of just those 10 minutes knowing, seeing and listening to you.
1. You are a great communicator, you have a nice voice, you talk smooth and clear, you keep it simple but all you say is interesting
2. You are charismatic
3. You appear smart and emotionally intelligent -in the way you talk and approach things but also that's just the aura about you!
4. You are attractive and good looking (what?! it's true!)
5. You obviously lack confidence and do not realise your strenghts (see above) You do not have a realistic image of yourself? -not sure about number 5, that is just the way it would appear-
6. Based on all the above, challenge yourself to believe in yourself and CHALLENGE yourself to go and get out there. Again: dare to CHALLENGE yourself to do things you may think you cannot do, but you CAN. Yes you can. Talk in front of a group, etc... You only have one life, nothing to lose trying little by little. I imagine you are empathetic, and that you also over analyse too much what others may think of you etc, which can turn toxic. Tell yourself: 'I DON'T CARE'!! I do it for me, life is short and it is never too late to make it worth. Time is never lost, we all learn in different ways, but YOU need to make it happen, no one else will. Be courageous to make it happen in exactly the same courageous way you made this video happen despite your fears.
With the above 1 to 4, you are very likeable and most people would naturally want you as a friend (including me based on the 10 minutes video hehe! ;)
I hope I didn't sound too cliché. And well if I did, cliché is very often the most simple and best way :) Make it happen, just for you! :)
Thank you so much for reaching out. Honestly some of the best advice Ive been given and I really appreciate the encouragement!!
I have autism (naturally an introvert and stuttering) and have feel isolated even though i have friends. You are not alone!
I don't know if this will help but... In my early twenties, I began college with the same problem. Speaking in front of other people had become very difficult for me. I often had anxiety attacks, with all the symptoms that go with it.
I have been looking for a miracle cure for a long time, but the thing that has helped me is to force myself to speak in front of others, again, and again, and again. Several times the other students must have wondered what was happening to me, and I must have been "weird" to them. By repeating this exercise over and over again, I finished my university defending my thesis without trembling and stuttering. Exposing yourself is in my opinion the best way to overcome that and get confidence. It will help you for schools, jobs, and with relationships too!
I wish you good luck and I'm sure that everything will work out in the end :)
And i would also recommend physical exercise. Especially aerobics. It helps. It kind mimics what happens during a anxiety situation.
Best tip ever bro: your must prepare everything beforehand; master it, I mean practice alone at home, then interviews talks etc will be a peace of cake...! Trust me !!
I appreciate what it takes to expose this issue on this medium. I believe I have been silently suffering from this issue for 40 years, Now I can work on repairing myself.
Hey man, we are the same age, 25, and had almost the same experience. I didn’t go to college right away, and I lost my group of friends by the time I was 19-20. It sucks because you feel left behind and like you’re the only person going through this period. Since then I’ve literally had no close friends, just work acquaintances. I went back part time to school at 23 and now plan on going back to campus at 25. Everyone had their own timeline and that’s all that really matters!
Hey thanks for reaching out and sharing a bit of your story! That's exactly how I've felt with being left behind and on my own but it's people like you who make it better and help me realize Im not alone. Thanks again for the positivity!
@@andyheideman5618 No problem! It's good to know that others were feeling the same way about not having friends in general! The one thing that helped me is knowing that everyone has their own timeline. Whether you decide to go back to school or not, I hope you follow your passion!
I am an Air Force veteran and just a little info. In basic, you do not have to speak much nor do you have to read aloud in classes. In fact, keeping your mouth shut and following directions is a plus in basic training. You are in a group but being to yourself and quiet isn't necessarily bad as long as you can work together in your group in a cohesive way - get along with others, cooperate to achieve tasks, follow directions, etc. I am an introvert with social anxiety and basic was easy for me. However, once you get out of basic, it is like most jobs in that you have to communicate with others on a fairly good level. That was harder for me but I actually thrived in the Air Force becasue the military community is a smaller microcosm of our larger society. The military community has a lot of support. I found it easier to handle than out here in society at large. Just sharing my experience as an introvert/anxiety sufferer.
Thank you for reaching out and for sharing some of your experience, that means a lot to me and I appreciate it!
It didn't happen that way for me, but I think it could have. Maybe I just got lucky, real lucky. Found my treasure. But I'm curious, if you were surrounded by people that let you be yourself and did not shun you for who you are. You know, people who are genuinely interested in your best interest. What are you looking for in a friend or sweetheart? Give it a try, I'm all ears. Thanks for your post. Note, I don't think social media is the way, because people are not sincere. Take care.
you’re such a great speaker and seem like a very nice person likable humble sincere you expressing your loneliness to the world is wildly Brave
if you can do this you can do all the things your anxious about
your very good looking too
maybe join a local sports team for friends and community
you are young these problems will pass
you’ve already proven you’ve got courage now. go have some fun you deserve it
we’re pulling for you !
3:25 is me too. I absolutely cannot read in front of people, and it sucks because reading has always been a big strength of mine. I can’t even speak over my breathing, I can tell the few times I’ve had to read in front of my coworkers they looked at me like something was wrong.
I used to be so nervous reading in front of people when I was in school 🏫.
unfortunely we are all living this lonely world, I'm 23 I have no friends i hope things get better for you.
Wow, great video Andy. Really enjoy listening to your story. You are not alone out there, we all experience this sense of having no friends. Even if you have friends but see them rarely it makes you think you have none. I myself have experienced this as well. Keep your head up young man, you'll find people like yourself and you'll never be alone.
3:50 Avoidance brings short-term relief but long-term breeds the anxiety - you have to face the fear, slowly but surely. Easier said than done, I know! Maybe start doing some public reading with your parents or siblings, if supportive? Thanks for sharing your experiences 🙂
Thank you for making this if i was talking about this i’d be so damn anxios about it everyone would bully me if they’d see it so Ty so i didnt have to
Thanks for the support, you too can overcome this!
When I was 20, I stuttered for the first time in my life, and ever since then I've been super self conscious when I talk. I also have social anxiety now because of it.
Thanks Andy, you really seem like a genuine and smart person! About the fear of reading and talking in front of people.. I have had the same problem. It started when I was twelve. When I was sixteen years old, I went to therapy and my wonderful therapist recommended beta blockers to me. At first I was skeptical and did not want to use any medication, but trying them out was the best thing and it saved my life. I don't use the medication regularly. I only take a tablet 30 minutes before I know I have to give a lecture or participate in an official conversation at work. Without the medication I would not be the professional that I am today, 31 years later of my first beta blocker tablet. Most musicians (violinists, pianists, etc.) use this medication when they perform at a concert, so that they don't get nervous and can fully focus on playing the piece. All the best to you from Europe! 😊
Was there ever a time in your life when you had friends or where you were more social? Can you point to a time when you began to struggle socially or to isolate? Any addictions to alcohol, drugs, porn, etc? I think being able to answer these questions will help you to understand where you came from and where you are today. Just from watching this video, it's obvious you have the ability and skills to communicate. Now, how to transfer that from a camera to face to face interaction, right? I hope you'll feel free to talk about this at least here with us. It doesn't have to stay this way.
You are not alone.... I'm with you..... can't find any job, that's a big problem...just feel the end of the world....😔😔😔 struggling social anxiety.
God bless you Andy!!!!
Sameeee. Hope things get easier for you. Daily life is so much harder with anxiety. Keep fighting!
Soc anxiety sucks :/
I hope everything works out for you man! We all have our struggles. Thank you for not being afraid to be vulnerable
Thanks for watching and for reaching out, I appreciate it!
❤️❤️ So much love to you. You’re my friend mate. 🙏 You’re truly not alone. Praying for you, we got this!
Thanks for watching and I appreciate the positivity! 👍
I’m 20. I literally feel like I’m talking here. I know exactly what you are going through. I’m in the exact same situation.
Hey, I can identify with your plight. You are not alone. I hope you find your way.
You're not alone, believe that. I have no real friends either and get so anxious when dealing with other people. I'd be friends with you for sure 🙂✌
You just did a 10 minute video and 17 thousand people watched you give a great speech. That's pretty damn good.
Hey thanks for watching! I didnt think it was that bad at all, although its a little different than giving a speech in person to 17 thousand people! But thanks again for reaching out!
Apply for community college and take it step by step. Everybody has some degree is social anxiety. You’ll be fine
That happened to me as well. I was very outgoing and Sofia and once I stopped playing sports in sophomore I slowly started to become less secure about my looks and myself. One thing that has helped me is meditation. Meditation isn’t about not thinking about anything. Sure when you meditate you’ll think about nothing here and there but it’s not the goal of meditation. Mindfulness Meditation is about watching your thoughts pass by without judgment. Then coming back to your breath. It’s a cycle. Eventually your thoughts won’t control you as much and you’ll be able to cope with the anxiety better
You are in this together. It's feel encouraging to hear your story
Thanks for sharing your battle! I hope you’ve been experiencing victories more and more each day
I can relate to this so much I do have one friend but I do have social anxiety & ocd so I get the pain of feeling lonely daily. Thanks for reaching out by posting the video thanks.
Thanks for the support, hope all is well for you!
I had this problem going to church, I couldn’t deal with the multiple greetings of random strangers. I saw this type of non-denominational loud sing and the music seemed new. I seemed like a thousand people. I wanted to experience it but was very afraid. I figured that if I came in late and left early thing would work for me. Didn’t want to meet anyone, didn’t want to be touched or hugged by people I didn’t know. About ten churches I found something i liked. The usher as me where I wanted to sit… “Alone”was my answer, “I am very easily distracted” two years later, i had eventually gotten. When i fly i buy the window seat and the seat next to me. That was really closer than I wanted to be. Still working on that, totally freaks me out.
I used to go to church ⛪️ years ago but I stopped because I find it too boring and slow. Since this pandemic has been happening, I don’t have to go nowadays.
Andy, you're a brave guy for speaking out about this. I too have battled this since high school and onwards. To hear your story was to listen to my own. All I can say is there is hope. I never turned to medication for this (and by nou means do I judge those who do)because I know it will just mask the symptoms instead of addressing the root cause. Here is a one liner that got me through some very tough situations. "Do it afraid." Yes, sounds so simple I know. It's not a weakness to feel fear. We just have to push ourselves little by little every time we land in those uncomfortable moments. This is how I still push myself through hard social experiences while feeling that fear. You'll feel it but you don't have to let it rule your life. I promise you, every small step you take is a victory and it will increase your confidence levels. Hang in there man, there is a good plan for your life. You're gonna conquer this! Consider reading Battlefield of the mind by Joyce Meyer. Helped me a great deal.
Hey thanks for reaching out! And thank you so much for the advice and encouragement, it means a lot to me!
I'm 20 and just entered Durham University as a new undergraduate the last month and I have no friends here. I found somehow I had a little social anxiety disorder when I was in senior high school. But at least there were fewer students in school than uni and dozens of us were put in one class, having the same timetable, meeting every day，which created a comfort zone for me to socialize. In a nutshell, the social circle at that time was small, so I had several friends and some acquaintances that I could talk with even if in fact they were not so close to me . However, the situation in a uni has changed. My social anxiety is getting much worse cuz there are so many people from different places, doing different courses，hustle and bustle. But I don't know how to have a continuous and interesting conversation with other freshers . Almost all of those conversations between me and them were just old subjects like "what are u studying","where are u from","what's your name",etc, which then was followed by awkward silence or "bye","see u later"…
Durham University is collegiate like Oxford and Cambridge, students are allocated to different colleges, providing them with social environment and sense of belonging, which indeed attracted me to apply for it for I used to think perhaps I could make some new friends in this way. Unfortunately the reality is always cruel, I'm too shy and introverted to socialize in front of crowds. And I found most freshers got to know each other very soon then their friendship groups formed. It seems that everyone around me has had companions to hang out with，while I spend most of my spare time in my tiny dorm room doing my own things, hearing laughter and singing from other rooms passing throug my door, or just aimlessly walking around the city alone. I don't belong to any groups. I'm a complete outsider. Besides, I'm also afraid of talking to female, especially those among my peers…This is one of the reasons why I’ve never dated with any girls. Sometimes I regard myself as a pathetically ignored loser and weirdo that even lost the ability to socialize. I'm very confused and worried about my future.
You should try therapy 🫂🫂🫂🤗🤗🤗 mate.
I am reminded of what Diane Nguyen said in an episode of Bojack Horseman: "....the only thing you can do is be good to the people in your life, and to keep your heart open." That can be applied to what you're feeling now in regards to social anxiety.
I understand that the trauma won't be easy to overcome, but I have hope that you will find your own tactic to eliminate the issue. Maybe you can try watching some speeches or Ted Talks from different people and studying how they present themselves? Maybe they can inspire you. Just a suggestion.
I would also suggest in the meantime to use this solitary time with no friends to cultivate a life rich with experiences. Focus on your health especially. As others have said, you are not alone because there are thousands of others just like you.
I wish you well and look forward to your future progress.
Hi there, here are 10 tips that might work to make deeper connections with others
1) Be aware that no one owns you nothing, people give what they are willing to give and thats ok
2) you might not feel special but there is only one of you in this world, so yes, your unique
3) other people feel weird all the time also
4) offering to help others and asking for help can make deeper connections
5) your motivation should be less to have a "Friend" like collecting cards, but more to share your life experience with others, some of these shared experiences can become deeper ones, like friendship. But they don't have to, don't put too much pressure on it
6) know that people come and go and that is normal, people move and also change with time, try not to take it personally
7) try to not have to many expectations, people are always different then what we might want them to be
8) try not to isolate yourself from people (I know, the current world state makes it already that way) but if you can be in activities with a community, your chances of finding deeper connections can increase
9) people might feel that you have a need for friendship, and no one likes to be needed that way, so try to remind yourself that people come and go, and that not every connection will become a friendship and thats also ok
10) to become intimate friends with someone means taking the risk of been hurt, because you need to show yourself in a more vulnerable state, be aware of the risk and be brave that it will be worth it, wenn a real connection is made. You either jump in the water or stay on the shore wondering. Thats your choice, and like that your future friend is also taking a risk with you so it goes bought ways :)
Any way I hope this helps (also english is not my mother tong, so sorry for grammar mistakes)
This is some solid advice!
You are a great good looking guy, have faith in yourself. On your video you didn’t stutter or acted nervous, went straight to the point. Good job! My friend.
Thanks for your honesty, this will help so many
It good to know we’re not alone !!! Thanks
Hi man, just wanted to say that I wish you're doing well now and that you're on your way to keep self improving.
Hey thanks for reaching out, I appreciate it. Things have been better but still struggle here and there.
I have so many similarities...was fine as a kid.. in fact I was usually the loudest in my group. Then in high school social anxieties began to emerge and I became much quieter. One on one, I am great, but in a group of ten people, I become quiet as a mouse. On the public speaking front, you are not alone, many people fear it more than death. It's important to accept yourself as you are but definitely keep trying to better yourself. Thanks for your video.
Hey thanks for reaching out, it's comforting to know that Im not alone!
Andy, experiencing the same “symptoms” as you, all my life, I would encourage you first to seek some professional help. You are not crazy. There are medications that can help and I so wish I had done this years ago. Also, push through those situations that are uncomfortable, the job interviews, regardless the outcome, the self-confidence you get by just making yourself do it. You walk out out feeling better about yourself. It doesn’t happen overnight, it’s a little bit more each time.
I recently lost my job of 28 years. I applied for job I really wanted and then learned this company does between 5-8 different interviews and you have to also complete candidate exercises and present them to multiple people. I messed up the first presentation because I was so nervous. Fortunately for me, the senior director of R&D saw something in me and offered me a second chance. I was so nervous the day of the second interview, I almost canceled it. I thought I was going to throw up. But I made made myself present again. I was still nervous the second time but it was better. I was offered the position the next week.
Just try to push through, it will get a little easier each time. You have a lot going for you. Everything Esteban Tia said is true.
You Got This!
You express yourself much better than you think. Many people experience social anxiety, be kind to yourself.
Thanks for reaching out and I appreciate the kind words!
So many of us are in the same situation, grasping at straws, distraction, anything to keep going. (I just for instance, make vids of music and movie and discuss them on my channel to have something to do) That is in the end however, all one can do, keep waiting, keep searching, keep hoping that something will come along. It's VERY difficult, but one day at a time is all you can deal with. Just keep pushing on, refusing to let it do your head in. There are no easy answers, except that difficult one, to keep pushing on day by day. It's all I do, all anyone can do for the most part.
@GODLY GAME lol, don't need that kind of game..lol
Thank you for reaching out and for sharing some of your experience, I really appreciate that! Stay strong!
Lets make more videos about this suspect so we dont feel alone anymore! ❤️ This kind of videos helps me to accept my social anxiety.
You're not alone and not the only one dealing with social anxiety, hang in there! Don't let it define you!
@@andyheideman5618 im crying reading this. Because i feel anxiety so bad right now
You're doing awesome man !! It's a major issue and you are brave sharing this with the public.
You'll be fine too 😉
I love you and you've got plenty friends and help on here..
Thanks for reaching out and for the words of encouragement. I really appreciate that!!
being a lone wolf is great bro. you can experienced life from another perspective. Develop yourself in a way you cannot if you were with others. most of people have to experience the path of the lone wolf and they just can't. Is not an easy path but you can find some interesting stuff for being a lone wolf like knowing yourself and seeking knowledge. When I was a teenager being alone was a traumatize experience. I was on the library all the time reading books. but now I have my own house, my own legacy. I Do wherever I want with my time and seriously i don't feel bad. We make the mistake of associated being alone to be a bad person or not being valuble or being perceived as a valuable individual but this is not true. this is very common nowdays and every person is going to experience the alone path in their lifes. maybe when they get older butit doesn't have to be a painful experience. ofcourse sometimes it can be painful but it doesn't have to be this way. I see life as an opportunity to improve yourself, to learn and to experience. You are a valuable lindividual. And I truly hope you don't feel suffering for being alone. there is nothing wrong with it. I know what it feels like to to feel suffering because you are all alone but like I said I started to value that aspect of myself. ofcourse sometimes I want to have a girlfriend and all that stuff but I realize maybe that is something that is out of my control just like having friends. wish you the best andy and thank you for sharing.
I use to play sports hung out with the Jocks and did a lot of things, like skateboarding and snowboarding. After College, people started going separate ways and started doing their own things, having Family and that's when I stopped hanging out and doing things with my friends. Only friends I have are maybe 1 or 2 People that I now rarely communicate with, who've basically stopped answering or replying to my text messages, who were my friends for over 25 years basically from the time I was 6 Years old. Luckily I do have a Family that I live with and financially support which is what's keeping my sanity from going into deep depression. More people than you think are now socially disconnected dealing with social anxiety and depression.
Thanks for reaching out and sharing a bit of your story and glad you have a family around you!
Andy am pulling for you... you've already reached so many people.... hope you speaking to us helps 👍🏼
One word: therapy.
It's going to help you.
You don't have to do this alone.
Thanks for watching and sharing your advice, I appreciate it!
Therapy doesn't help most people if you look at stats. But this guy it could help/
Yes therapy is a great opportunity to heal.
I'm in the same boat as you Andy, social anxiety sucks.
Thanks for reaching out! Remember, you're not alone. Stay strong!
6:05 and 6:47 you nailed it for me, the one thing that killed my mech eng dream is the presentations
Tengo 40, y también lo mío era el deporte, pero en la secundaria me empezó a pasar lo mismo que este pibe
Oh my, I feel for you Guy, I have a friend like you, You just have to adapt to it and deal with it one day at a time, know your limitations. Be proud of yourself. Don't be so hard on yourself. We all have our talents you just have to develop yours. You will find your niche. Love you
Thanks for the help, I appreciate it!
I learned a trick a long time ago. Dress nice & pretend to be rich & you will have more friends than you know what to do with. I used to tell women I was a successful doctor, the results were amazing! I've found people that want to be around you because of your money will work harder at relationships than most "real" friends. It's sad realization of what life is "really" like. But I see it now as the simply "The game of life & how to play it". Put yourself in the driver seat, & call the shots. Never feel bad about doing what you have to in order to get what you want in life ......
fair enough but I'll personally never lie to impress social darwinistic cattle
Hi Andy!
Jack here! How are you feeling! Wanted to extend my personal support and encoragment to you for making these videos! They help me realize that we are not alone in dealing with social anxiety! I am very proud of you and think that you would be a very cool and awesome friend! You understand and empathize with what these issues are like. Parents just don't get it! When you were in high school, what sport(s) did you play? Thank you for this channel? Whenever this crazy world gives you time, feel free to make another update video! Thank you for caring! Peace- Jack
Life is brutal, man. It's all about looks.
Hey Andy! Nice to see that you've opened up the comment section. I can guess that this decision wasn't easy for you, but now as you can see you are being welcomed by so many people. I do think about you from time to time too. From the last time I've checked your videos you've gained over 300 subscribers, that's incredible. I hope you are doing great so far. I'm looking forward to your next videos!
Quarter life crisis: never heard that before. Take some public speaking courses: they’ll help. Life’s a shit sandwich, and it’s the smart ones that figure this out early. Get back into the sports
Had the same issue. Was prescribed a beta blocker and took it when I had to speak in front of others. After a few successful attempts at public speaking, I got over the fear and can do it now without the beta blocker.
Thanks for reaching out and sharing your story, I appreciate it!
I'm also 25 dealing with S.A from another side of the globe. Hello
Hey thanks for watching! Just remember no matter where you are, you're not alone!
Read everything you can about anxiety, knowledge is empowering
I’d do online classes, zoom.
And don’t worry about not talking, some people view it as stoic.
Just say, “yea I don’t read out loud.”
Sometimes you just have to say the hell with it, I am who I am.
I am 27 i also don't have any friends. Have one guy on social media we don't talk we just share memes to each other and give haha reactions.
As you get older friends move away, start relationships, or as you get older you drift apart finding you have less in common than when you were younger. It is difficult to make new friends if you work on your own or arn't on any courses.
Indie Lab 😄 i love that, bless ya. Ask him how his day was.. just something simple like that. 👍🙂.
Join this discord server! Another youruber called James Hitti made it. He makes videos like this one :) ua-cam.com/video/bwVbqFqlB3M/v-deo.html
I am lucky enough to do homeschooling going into my senior year. Don’t have to deal with this shit show anymore.
I do that same thing with the reading or speaking publicly.
Nothing wrong with it, don't let it define you! You're not alone!
Hey brother I think your awesome and school is a joke that you don’t really need anyways. Educate yourself, relax, and keep doing your thing. Better to sell your self short than to sell yourself out.
Thank you❤
In college they don’t pick on people to read out loud really, mostly everything is independent reading outside of class
I'm a 21 years old university student with social anxiety.
From my experience at university, teachers don't even call students to speak or read. They just do their lectures and leave. However in some classes we have to give presentations or speak a little bit(especially if the class is small). But that's only every once in a while. In everyday lessons if you don't want to talk you just don't.
And in my opinion that's perfect because we can go to the lectures and just listen to the teacher but at the same time we are given the opportunity to practice our presentation skills every once in a while.
I just want you to know that I am also feeling stressed of being around strangers or having to talk in front of others. I am sure you can also attend university, go out of your comfort zone and respect your own boundaries at the same time.
Reading in class would make me panic too.
Don't let it define who you are, things get better! You got this!
Why are all these no friends videos suddenly showing up . Is everyone getting them on their home page?
@@mehulchoudhary5136 I agree. No friends must be the new Pandemic
@@mehulchoudhary5136 No not really. I just wondered why I was getting all these type video's all of a sudden. I wondered if UA-cam was sending to everyone with an Account on UA-cam.
The fact that your mum called your school to make you not read out in class is enabling.. the more you expose yourself to public speaking the better your anxiety would be.. or the better you'll find dealing with it..
Thanks for reaching out. That's what I find helps.me the most is exposing myself to it and just getting comfortable in those types of situations.
@@andyheideman5618 yeah bro I mean I used to get panic attacks and walk out of social situations or even meetings at work but the more I forced myself to do repeat these 'awkward' situations... and just embraced the uncomfortable feeling/awkward silent moments the better my threshold was for panic attacks.. weird but it works lol
I'm 27 now. I feel you bro. ♥️
Thanks man! 👍We're not alone!
This video is all about me ! thanks for posting it! feel embraced
Thanks for watching!
Man hang in there...there are people who feel just like you do love...youre not alone...:)
Thanks for reaching out and for the encouragement!!
Please make more videos about your journey. On the next video, please have the video camera at the same level as your own eyes and do not hold the camera--you are moving it back and forth. Thank you for coming forward
Thanks for watching and for reaching out. I also appreciate the feedback with the camera situation, I'm no professional just filming it with my phone trying the best I can!
I think you are making it bigger then it really is.. there is absolutely nothing NOTHING wrong with you..... you did nothing wrong. love yourself enjoy your company, take courses, take group classes , take a trip and talk to everyone you meet. its ok if you dont have many friends you JUST NEED ONE!
Thanks so much for the support and the advice, I appreciate it so much!
The thought of the thing feared is always worse than the thing feared. Maybe because of the acne it appears you withdrew into yourself. You also didn't want to be seen. You wanted to avoid the pain you expected would happen if attention was focused on you. Which is now a full blown anxiety. The first step is to accept what is going on and not try to fight against it. Fighting against it only makes you feel worse. The fear created a "stuck energy" issue which causes anxious feelings if you even think about being seen. Please look into plant based and other remedies available to help you unstick that energy. It will also help you confront the feelings which led to them.
Thanks for reaching out, I appreciate it. That's been my experience for sure about the thought is always worse than the actual thing feared. But things have been better and I appreciate the help!
Thank u
U r helping
Thanks for reaching out, I appreciate it!
@@andyheideman5618 I appreciate you man
👋👍🌼
Hey Andy, this is brave of you. You uploaded a video on a social media platform and was transparent and honest about what's on. Not a lot of people can or are willing to do that. Props to you, it's not easy to do so. If you want to zoom and talk or anything let me know, in case you want to work on talking with more people/reading in front of people or whatever would help you in your journey I would be happy to help. I'm nice and I'm patient. Anyways I hope you keep working at it and therapy would likely help as well. Keep your head up!
Hey man appreciate the transparency and honesty with talking about social anxiety. It totally sucks. Not sure if you mentioned it but have you gotten any therapy or counseling in regards to social anxiety? I had major social anxiety when I was younger and I went to some counseling that really gave me the tools with how to cope with social anxiety. Your experiences with job interviews are understandable..same shit for me I hated group interviews. I think some counseling could really help though..sucks that we got to deal with an extroverted world (especially in the job world) but it is what it is. Best of luck to you man!
Hey thanks for reaching out and sharing a bit of your experience. I appreciate that! I have gone to therapy and it helped for sure. Definitely got me out of a rough place
Look up Wim Hof. Do his breathing exercises and cold exposure every day. This will change your chemistry and you will become less anxious.
Thanks for reaching out and for the advice!
I don't have friends but people sometimes do talk to me
May I ask why you don’t have any true friends? It’s too depressing and lonely when someone doesn’t have friends. I’ll be your friend if it’s all right with you.
Got no one to talk maybe I’ll be okay
Cuz nobody understand me speaking
I’m off to everybody and fam are down to me too.
Don't lose hope, you're not alone! Just be yourself and the right people will come into your life. Stay strong!
@@andyheideman5618 awww yess thank you 😊
🫂🫂🫂🤗🤗🤗.
If you were really uncomfortable reading out loud you should encourage yourself to do it more so you get used to it. This goes for pretty much anything else in life, you have to get uncomforable to be comfortable
Thank you for the advice, I appreciate it!!
SAME BRO❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤ BUT WE’LL MAKE IT
Become a developer. You can work from home, make 125k a year easy, and talk to people for maybe 15minutes a day at most…all from your couch .
Thanks for advice, I appreciate it!
how can I become a developer?
Hi what do you think was the trigger had you always found hard to read out loud was you ever bullied at school sounds the same as my son he was bullied finds hard the same things you struggle with your not alone do it step by step your get there
Thanks for reaching out and sharing some of your experience. For me I withdrew from things I liked to do like sports and sort of lost my identity. So I didn't have that release and stressed too much about school/reading aloud.
I'd definitely be your friend Andy! It's very sweet you're a baseball fan like I am too!
Thanks for reaching out I appreciate it! Go Brewers right?! 😂⚾️
@@andyheideman5618 You're very welcome! 👍🏻🤗It's true too! Yessssir!! ⚾️ Let's Go Brewers!
I am planning on starting audio therapy here, (if you want I can put you in the video) using a theory that I have based on languages and the meaning of our ideas that fool ourselves. It will be like a conversation and it will be interesting for the listener, for you to get help and for me to further develop this theory that I've worked on for a decade at least and helped some people in real life. Anyone interested who has any issue, don't hesitate to write me and we get this started!
Bless your ❤. You're so young...handsome too.😉 If you're brave enough to open yourself up to strangers on video, then I bet your brave enough to fight those anxiety demons! Everyday you don't work on your issues is another day wasted, another day older & further from the potential to start college or interview for that job you want. Take online classes. Explain to professors your anxiety issues...people ARE understanding. Just do it. Force yourself. Don't be be one of those people that looks back on their life and wishes they'd have done things differently. Perhaps find a good therapist to work with you. Don't stand in your own way...thats no way to live. Best of luck!
Thank you for reaching out and for the encouragement and advice! I really appreciate it!
You have friends but not visible, and try listening to hillsong united it can help you a little
Thanks for reaching out, I appreciate the positivity!
I was laughed at and ridiculed by girls. It wasn’t the guys. They made fun of me and called me names like donkey boy. I have no idea why they would assay such a thing. Thought maybe my teeth although they are pretty straight.
Hey ask people and if you can get better straighten teeth and can afford it, it might be a good investment. At least guys like you.
Hey donkey Boy is a cool Name! They used To call me elephant Boy
Pray to God he will help you and stay consistent with it.
No.
I feel like in certain situations you have social anxiety but in others you do not. I mean you played sports in high school - that’s social. You went to other events with lots of people. I think the question is what is triggering this?
Other people always planning to catch or provoke you of gaurd or something, even if you prepare 99% of the time but they'll suddenly be there to paunch on you for that one percent breather when you wanst alert.
@Matt Moore Got you here!😂What a coincidence!!!Your fan here, Alien 👽
Struggling social anxiety too.....😔
Stay awesome bro
Hey thanks man, I appreciate it! 👍