I'm 62 years old, I have no friends, I can go weeks without having a conversation - I have my dog and I lose myself in my painting. My faith in The Lord keeps me sane.
Sending LOVE AND HUGZ In a Different situation. But w Faith in Jesus it's the only thing that keeps me going, I'm crying 😢 now. Truly I Pray in Pure Love for You to have JOY , and be Blessed with a Faithful perfect friend. Medical thingz have isolated me "from friends " , I began fearing hurting them unintentionally, for I'd have to cancel. May Your Love BREAK THROUGH any fears. Trauma from past was only healed by forgiving and realizing the past is like this huge muck of gunk , sludge I couldn't get out of. Slowly each Day by God Grace , encouragement to paint, to try, to focus on Pure Love, Peace and Compassion and just keep moving. Thank You for sharing Your trials, tribulations and triumphs. Many Blessings, Peace, Love and Years OF JOY "Hugz"
Jesus: John 14: 21 He who has My commandments and keeps them is the one who loves Me; and he who loves Me will be loved by My Father, and I will love him and will disclose Myself to him.” 22 Judas (not Iscariot) *said to Him, “Lord, what then has happened that You are going to disclose Yourself to us and not to the world?” 23 Jesus answered and said to him, “If anyone loves Me, he will keep My word; and My Father will love him, and We will come to him and make Our abode with him. 24 He who does not love Me does not keep My words; and the word which you hear is not Mine, but the Father’s who sent Me. John 7: 37 Now on the last day, the great day of the feast, Jesus stood and cried out, saying, “If anyone is thirsty, let him come to Me and drink. 38 He who believes in Me, as the Scripture said, ‘From his innermost being will flow rivers of living water.’” 39 But this He spoke of the Spirit, whom those who believed in Him were to receive; for the Spirit was not yet given, because Jesus was not yet glorified. Luke 24: 44 Now He said to them, “These are My words which I spoke to you while I was still with you, that all things which are written about Me in the Law of Moses and the Prophets and the Psalms must be fulfilled.” 45 Then He opened their minds to understand the Scriptures, 46 and He said to them, “Thus it is written, that the Christ would suffer and rise again from the dead the third day, 47 and that repentance for forgiveness of sins would be proclaimed in His name to all the nations, beginning from Jerusalem. 48 You are witnesses of these things. 49 And behold, I am sending forth the promise of My Father upon you; but you are to stay in the city until you are clothed with power from on high.” "that all things which are written about Me in the Law of Moses and the Prophets and the Psalms must be fulfilled.” The jews that not believe in Jesus do also have these Scriptures, so it cannot been corrupted for Jesus. Is Jesus falsely made up so that He fits into it? No, it makes more sense that Scriptures were prepared for Jesus and that God prepared the coming of Jesus.
I quit my social life after being used and betrayed by so-called friends. My life has never been better and much peaceful. Sometimes I wonder why I wasted 10 good years being surrounded by fake people just because I feel lonely. Don't forget there are people that remain supportive of you even if it's online interaction. :) Keep on creating good stuff.
Personally I think our soul needs human interaction but I agree about fake people. I only have a handful of friends that I consider true friends. What I notice is that there are a lot of people who may be surrounded by "friends" but they are not people who can tell your hurt to.
This is very true, I commend you for speaking out, the real truth is most humans feel inferior to a great artist and will always hate instead of just being happy with what they have. Instead most will be jealous and take out their own shitty life on others
Your authenticity and vulnerability is so beautiful. Thank you for sharing your story. I'm sorry you went through a very traumatic time. The new world we're living in makes it very difficult to connect with another as their intentions are not always pure. I spend a lot if time on my own too as like you said it's best to be on your than in a toxic environment. When your living your true purpose, thriving and loving life this unfortunately triggers a lot of people. Sending plenty of warm love bombs and your never alone.🙏❤
That's why i got a dog. The most loving, loyal and funny friend i have ever had. He also makes me go out 3 times a day and meet new people (and pick up his poo as well).
A friend of mine just took a dog and was telling me that nowadays having a dog and going out with him everyday is almost the only way to socialize with people!!!
Actually really glad you took the time to open up about your struggles. I followed you initially for the social media tips but staying for your authenticity. I struggle the same as I’m growing my brand and page and I find that it’s a lonely road at times. We’re all here for you brother
I just want to say thank you for the courage to tell us such experiences, and for the power of honesty of your words. I discovered you last year, here on youtube, and I learn very much from you, as an artist and as a character. Take care are create unforgetable art!
'You shouldn't drink poison just because you are thirsty'. Spot on 👍 You are a precious soul, and those who appreciate you will support you - online and offline. Yes, being an artist is one of the loneliest professions out there but I learn to be appreciative and develop the art of living by myself. I resort to prayer and meditation to find inner peace, when in between work. Love the originality in your work. Keep creating with your talent!
You are not alone, I come to see you as often as I can. I absolutely enjoy our time together. I guess I never thought to give back. You have given me so much. I am working on a series of paintings again. I am almost ready to start posting. You have provided me them the strength to try again. Your advice is easy to understand and real. Thank you.
The algorithm had nothing to do with it. You're just awesome. Friends, lovers, even family, it is hard to find any human being that will evolve along with you. Enjoy those who touch you as much as you can for as long as they last. I didn't understand that at 28 either.
Dries, it takes courage to talk about your life. I am an artist too, I am older now and have a few friends. Like many others here, it can be days without seeing or talking to someone, but I like being on my own. The best thing is that I am still creating my artwork.
Thank you for taking time to share your story. We usually only want to share happy things with each other, but sharing difficulties and challenges are the things that help us connect the most. IMO
I love solitude, but it is also nice to have company every now and then. I look at solitude as an invitation to truly hear myself over the chaos of life. Great video🍀
And here you are again with a beautiful way of saying something. I look at solitude as an invitation to truly hear myself over the chaos of life... I was wondering. Do you have a blog or something?
@@driesketels Thanks....I don't have a blog, not yet....I was on Instagram for a little over a year, 3 years ago...writing poetry mostly and then someone got sticky fingers with a poem of mine and I left...been thinking of getting back out there but I'm unsure of the best outlet...I love to write and share but I think I could ALWAYS do without the predatory, psychotic behaviors 😳 Who needs that walking around upstairs in their head?😅
Thank you for taking time to share your story. We usually only want to share happy things with each other, but sharing difficulties and challenges are the things that help us connect the most. IMO It’s good to be understood
Whoa. Wow. Just so you know, maybe it matters, maybe not, but my impression of you after watching 30? 50? of your videos is that you REALLY had your shi* together in life. I couldn't have imagined what happened in the past. But, it's the past. You've somehow pulled yourself together and you're producing amazing art. You've somehow got 33,000+ followers here. Your videos make me smile and laugh out loud almost every day and I still have dozens more I can watch anytime. Unfortunately you've had some experiences that could have wrecked your life. They haven't though. You're still here cranking it out. Don't stop man, this is your calling. This is what you're great at. Your monologues are honestly the best I've ever heard on the topic of art. You have a unique style that appeals to so many of us. Keep going bro. Keep cranking it out. Keep your faith in humanity. You've connected with a number of as*holes over the years. The thing is, you're free to find new friends. New people worth trusting. People who like your personality. People who like your intelligence. People who like what you have to say and who FOLLOW YOU. I've only been watching you for a few months, but I can't look away. I have to watch every new video you put out, and even crave an old one every now and then. I'm not even an artist AT ALL. I'd love to, but just don't have the time. I make money online but have no talent in art. I live vicariously through my daughter - who has some talent, and YOU. You have real talent too. It persevered through some real dark days. You're past all that. You have an incredible future ahead. I see it clearly. Just go there... follow your heart and this dream of a very successful art career and you'll get there. It's where you're supposed to be. It's so obvious to me. Cheers man!!!!!!
As i grow older i find that most people are just acquaintances...friends are very few. You will be lucky to have a couple late in life. I hope you get through the bad times...i love watching your vids !!
I found this really true after college...1 friend i still talk to...and 30 years working...i find after you leave work, nobody will stay in touch with you, unless you make the effort. Just stop talking to everyone for a month...see who asks if you are OK.
Just stop talking to everyone for a month... see who asks if you are OK. That's a powerful one from both sides. I'm not sure if I'm the person that asks people if they are OK after a month either so I guess that sais something about myself first and foremost.
very accurate comments and never thought I'd feel like that as years ago was so different but indeed how it turns out, bit isolated at times but disappointed with fake people too over the years.
Sorry to hear youve gone through a lot. Many of us can relate. Such a fallen world. You have survived and thats great. You also stepped out into yt and are helping so many people you likely will never know. So thank you for that. Also remember many are lonely in dead end marriages too, and some live in places where dogs are allowed and affordable. Theyre best buddies. I hope to have one some day 😊
At first I thought you were doing a skit! I was laughing since I thought it was made up. I then started to realize it was real. ...then I started to relate...then I totally understood all the phases of going through "friends". I find the most peace and happiness, fun, learning, being enthralled etc etc in my studio that is a closet with all my most loved items in it and hardly any clothes (in the closet lol). I like to go out and be amount people sometimes..but then leave them all behind and come back to my heart and home studio. I'm sorry you had to go through the horrible friends. I get annoyed that you have to be so aware and listening to your voice and guides every second and NEVER drop the ball OR ELSE. It's also how we are guided like tough love to where we feel at one with the universe. I am writing a book so Ill stop there before I have a wall of text.
oh my gosh so am I. I don’t have friends. and that’s okay🤗 I’m currently focusing on investing in myself. I’m an introvert. Just do the things you love. who needs friends when you have your family and God. stay safe man!
Just know you are not alone and there are people out there that love you and support you that don't even Know you but we are all one Love and light precious soul!!!
Dries, good for you, for being soo candid & brave to speak about your painful past. We all go through pain in life, & sometimes become stronger within. I often read “ Letters to Theodore” from Van Gogh. A must read for those struggling in life! Take care & Thankyou for all your great videos! R
I have read a couple of those letters. It's funny that you say that because I was planning to make a video about Van Gogh and already started to read some of those letters again. Thanks for your encouraging words.
Sometimes I wonder how much time others spend alone...I watch videos like this to give me perspective...you are right... don't fear having no friends...fear having toxic ones/ones who don't wish you the best
There are many things I want to say to you Dries...just say, as I call myself a true Artist after 44 years...i never really knew for myself...it took me some detours...I just discovered you 2 weeks ago and I follow cool souls on this planet and you are a great gift in the ART world.I take every word in like medicine, what you say...it all feels so good and true..thank the angels for sending you.🌟🌠😇🌌❤
You are way too kind Agnes. Thanks for taking the time to write such a lovely message. I'm sure the Angels did a great job by sending you into this world as well. See you around.
Hello Dries. The title of your video caught my eye. Being an artist myself, I can relate to the isolation that being an artist can entail. It is a very solitary profession. For some reason, bullies feel empowered to make someone else’s life miserable. Yes…it is better to have no friends than to have bad friends. Be selective of who you surround yourself with. You are a good guy and a kind soul. Find people who are worthy of you. You were right when you said, “Learn from the bad moments in your life.” It will make you a stronger person and wiser to recognize creepy people before you let anyone like that into your life again. It is so sweet of you to share your story so that others who are feeling the same feelings as you are will feel encouraged, rather than feeling saddened. It was so nice of you and it took a lot of courage to post that on here. Thank you. After viewing this video, I checked out a few of your other videos and find you to be very wise. I did a google search to check out some of your artwork. The colors you work with are beautiful. I especially enjoyed your self portrait and artwork of people. Great job! I wish you continued success with your artwork. God bless.
Your hair is absolutely gorgeous, volume , texture and length . You are very lucky. we are out here clinging on ours. I can't eff with my hair otherwise its gone.
I have been working as a teacher for outcast / violent and misguided students for 20 years. I always have to keep in the back of my mind about my judgements of others. Everyone has their path to take one should remember before passing harsh judgement upon others-what they might have gone through. I can feel your story because I taught student who have had similar situations, not all did well coming out and some are very hard to even talk to. Your art is your savior your personality shines through your story. I wish you the best and I love your light hearted yet helpful video posts. Keep up the good work. Your virtual friend----Billy Brandenburg
That school year sounds so traumatic. I didn't know that such an education system exists. I'm so sorry to hear you had to go through all this bullying...and the situation with those bad people sounds even more traumatic. Those are some extremely hard experiences and the fact that you have survived them means you're a strong person. Surviving 'art' also takes strength.
However, I don't think giving up on friendship is the right thing to do. True enough, true friendship sorts of happens on its own. It cannot be forced. But one should still be open to the possibility of it. Yes, sometimes we need time on our own. Yes, it is better to be alone than surrounded with wrong people. Yes, an artist lifestyle doesn't make meeting people easy...but where there is a will, there is a way. There is no reason for you not to have a true friend or friends. You're a lovely person, intelligent and mature.
Where there is a will there is a way, I like that. I'm not planning on giving up on friendship just yet. But I have been close. Thanks for the encouraging words Ivana!
I appreciate all of your videos. This one included. It’s very heart opening to be able to get a tiny glimpse into what your life has been like for you and your story. I wish I could wrap you up in a very big long hug, and get you to have coffee (or tea or whatever) with me every now and then. I hope you feel a sweet long and loving energetic hug coming your way as you read this. I hope this sharing and grace brings into your life really high quality beautiful souls for you to experience real connection with. And for you to in turn bless them with by means of knowing you, for I am sure you are a blessing in all that you are, wounds and all. Sending you love.
Hi Dries. Thank you very much for sharing your story. It speaks to me because I am an artist too and a very sensitive person. I gradually got rid of all friends because I realized that I am not getting anything from these relationships. Small example: these people were not even remember when my birthday is, while I always prepared the gifts for their birthdays just to show that I care about them. When I decided to become and artist and changed my occupation, start painting and showed them my first works, most of them had a negative feedback about my art. It is ok to not liking smth but I expected them to be more gentle and not hurt me with their opinions. This is the minimum I expected from them. In fact, a good friend should support, like a loving parent, say that you are doing well, keep going! This is my perception of a good friendship. So I felt that it it enough and one day I decided that I would rather be alone and stopped all communication with these people. I feel much better now, only stick with some of my family members that care about me. I am 35 and have no friends and avoid having deep connections outside of my circle. I still think it is important to have at least someone that I could be very close to. For me this person is my husband. He supports and inspires me. I am wishing you all the best with your work. You are very talented artist. Also, thank you very much for sharing your experience with us, artists.
Brave video and kudos to you Dries for posting. Loneliness and bullying are huge issues. One of my adult children is your age Dries and still suffers PTS from bullying at school. I have been fortunate to have three people in my life I know are true friends - no judgements, no put-downs from them and always there for me through everything. Yet those who claimed to be friends for decades - and who I was not always comfortable around due to their smartarse and demeaning comments - proved to be no friends at all and betrayed me in the worst way possible. Better to have no friends or just one close friend than people who only care about themselves. I feel your pain. I do not mind being alone but I do mind being lonely now and then.
Thank you for sharing your personal experience with such honesty and openness. It's incredibly important to bring light to these issues of loneliness and bullying, and your words contribute to this conversation. I'm sorry to hear about your child's struggle with post-traumatic stress from bullying. It's heartbreaking when those we love are affected by such deep emotional pain. You're absolutely right about the value of true friends. Genuine friendships, even if they are few, far outweigh superficial ones. They're the ones who accept us as we are, uplift us, and are by our side through thick and thin. It's regrettable that some people you believed were friends turned out to be otherwise, but it sounds like you've gained valuable insight from these experiences. Loneliness can be a challenging feeling to navigate, even for those of us who generally appreciate solitude. Remember, it's okay to feel lonely sometimes, and it's perfectly alright to seek help when these feelings become overwhelming. You're not alone in this. Thank you again for your bravery in sharing your story.
Thank you for this sincere video Dris. I am 25 and I am currently dealing with loneliness myself… and sometimes it is hard. But I also feel like, it is an essential part of the creative process I cant wait to see what art piece will come out out of your story🙏🏾🤍
I have been thinking about one for the last couple of days while I was busy with the video... At least we know we are not the only ones now. Thanks for your comment Jessie, that's really kind.
Thanks for watching! I'm still not comfortable with this amount of honesty online tbh... I'm kind of waiting in agony to see the reactions of people at this moment.
@@driesketels no worries at all. Let them come. I used to struggle with my loneliness when I lived in the city but since I moved to the woods to enjoy the company of my dogs, I switched the sad feelings to joy. You are doing 👍
@@driesketels how it went? hope everything is cool. You should have a pet. They are awesome. Let me tell you, my life changed 180 degrees since I have their company. I was so depressed feeling lonely and constantly comparing myself to others until BY CHANCE I end up living in the woods surrounded by selfishness animals. They are so inspiring and awesome as they are great teachers of what is really important in life. Now I can focus myself and I've never been more creative and productive. Trust me man, you will feel great.
Omg, my heart goes out to you. That's horrible how people can treat other human beings like that. I'm so sorry you went through all that, but its very courageous of you to talk about your experiences and still staying positive. You're not alone feeling lonely. Loneliness is a pandemic these days. I have no friends, no family, no social life. I try, but I always still end up alone. But yes, I'd rather have no friends than bad/fake friends. Stay beautiful, stay positive, and I hope everything turns around for you! You're an amazing artist btw! 💚🎨🖌
Once I became a Christian I found I was never alone. I'm married with 4 children. My 5 favorite human beings! Seek for relationships if you are lonely. Carve out the time. You're a super empathic and loving person. Friends and relationships are out there! You got this. :-)
I do have friends but I sometimes question if there is an authentic, REAL connection there at all. Thank you for sharing your story as I saw bits of my own story in yours and it was a thought-starter; a reminder. It is important to put yourself first and we learn it the hard way sometimes but it's just the way life works I guess. We're all connected yet lonely in our own ways and all we can do is create value for ourselves through our work, through our actions..and hope it brings us peace, feelings of contentment and happiness in the later years of life. It is not impossible to find joy in life in the absence of a close-knit circle of friends; challenging but never impossible. It just takes more time to detach yourself from past experiences sometimes. I always remember what my mom told me "Always keep the door half-open. Don't keep it completely shut and keep people away from surprising you someday but at the same time don't just leave it open and let anyone enter either." Wishing you only the best, Dries. You're not alone. Sending love all the way from India 🇮🇳to choose your friends wisel
I am so greatful to have found this UA-cam channel. It's very real and honest and realistic. I'm so sorry all these horrible things happened to you I can relate because after 3 years of Jr. Reserve officer training core in highschool I realized it was not for me. I don't have it in me to hurt people and that's what these military settings mainly bring out in young people, the skills to be successful at, ultimately, military life. So when I heard your experience I despised the things these people did. Also the kind of friends that you ended up meeting early in life. I'm glad to see you are healed but the internal scars are hard to fade , it does make you reserved and cautious. And your mom having cancer is a totally different nightmare. I hope the best for you and your family.I thank you for sharing your story it only inspires others to fight through difficult situations and that you can survive them. Fear having bad friends, so true, but if your more the wiser to know when to walk away from that. But never give up, there are true friends out there. What you're doing engenders so much good will, you will be rewarded for being a person who shares your knowledge especially when you're helping others. Thank you.
I'm a writer, which in itself is very isolating, and I understand exactly what you mean about how your profession, accentuates the loneliness. What I can't relate to, is the degree of pain people have caused you, and I'm so, so sorry you went through that. I can't begin to described how heart wrenching I found your story. All it does is just reinforce to me how disgusting human beings can be. With all that said, I would love to be your friend! Not only are you beautiful on the outside, but you come across just as beautiful on the inside - and pure, which is a plus! But with everything that has happened to you, I could understand why you wouldn't want to be lol. Much love to you and I hope you find great success with your amazing art! ❤️❤️
Thank you for your honest video. I am watching your videos some time now and they are like diamonds for me in the vast UA-cam ocean. I have never commented on a UA-cam video before. But i have to say you are a really nice guy and so deep in your thoughts, i really like that. I also had my encounters with rejections from friends, but i was lucky to find some trustworthy friends after that. I wish you the same!
Dries, I am the opposite. I have been very blessed to have amazingly supportive friends but lacked the love in the family life. This lead me to partying through my 20's and not focusing on my craft. I used to regret it, I thought my friends were holding back my art. But I realize now that they are what helped me to keep going, and that it is entirely on me to focus for my art career to be a success. Thank you for the insight. Your videos give me the courage to share my story. Thank you!
Taking responsibility for your own art career is the only path forward. Glad to see that you understand that Ryan. And don't regret anything... if you're in your 30ies you still have 50 years that's more then enough to create an amazing art career!
The same thing happened to me! Grew up in an abusive family and ran away from home. I hope you're doing OK now - Sending you good vibes & wish you all the best and success in your art.
I'm really sorry ,what you went through ,you are intelligent,person ,people can be cruel ,sometimes friends can hurt you ,there's nothing worse than being only ,you are to strong ,things will get easier for you.
Dont ever hate yourself! You are so young, full of life. You have a lot left to live on. This world has turned horrible, now more than ever. Just be careful. Observe and approach people, spend little time with people withoit knowing your address, your fortune, your personal life. Sad you went through the bad surprise. With people we have to be selective, it is a hi and a bye. We are born alone. We die alone. Good luck. Best wishes. Power to you.
Thank you Dries, I love your honesty. I too have had no friends for about 12 years now. Sometimes i feel sad about it but I think its better for me, no one to dissapoint.lol. Your a very lovely person. Keep making videos and I will keep watching them.
Dude!?! Jesus, well I hope you’re talking to someone about this. I’m not a therapist but that’s a lot of stuff to work out on your own. It took about four years for me to convince my wife to see a therapist. Her depression was severe, at times suicidal, but she did get better with therapy. The thoughts were there but manageable. I’m not sure what her progress would have been because she passed away from brain cancer two years ago. Take care of yourself. Talking it out does help.
i'd love to have some artiy friend, as given up with past friends in my life, I know no one creative or in same field.. always wishing I knew someone really artistic who I could chat and hang out with and go to arty things with, gets me down too..
This is the start of your journey, man. Addressing is head on is the hardest initial step, but you've done it. Thank you for being so transparent and sharing your story. Cheers
I'm going to turn 25 this year, single, and fresh out of college. I did not grow with that many friends, or have any idea if I'm ever going to have a serious social life since I will dedicate myself on working in my studio. I've always feared on ending up all alone, despite having a family that supports me, I constantly sought the approval of other people. Always too focused on impressing others, but those others ended up harming me or just not caring at all. I did not know anything about myself most of that time, I just wanted to feel like I belonged somewhere. A few years ago I spoke again with one of my bullies at a bar, offered me to become my art agent, hell no, turned down the offer lol. After watching your newest video about social media, I might consider deleting my Facebook. I never received messages from anyone, yet alone a happy birthday. I see how liberating it might feel just letting go of some people. Thank you for your videos Dries. :)
hahaha, "he offered me to become my art agent"... Sometimes these bullies don't even realize what trauma they caused... Thanks for your lovely comment David and success with your art career! See you around
Thanks for sharing Dries, you are amazing and greatly talented. There is nothing wrong with you, but definitely with the people that you've unfortunately crossed paths with. Take care now.
I can relate to a lot of this. Am 51 now - still growing up - still learning:). I live in the alps - made a bad friend who helped mess my life up here for me - indirectly - my fault - he was an alcoholic - and so was I - drinkers stick together - I messed up here with alcohol (had a run-in with a nasty local who I really shouldn't have messed with - now me and my fam under attack by bullies for last 5 yrs) - so feel pretty isolated (not a native of this country - can't even speak the language properly). The alg bit at the end made me laugh - don't know if that was intentional - you seem quite an ernest guy.
You've learned a lot about how (not) to choose friends. Or rather, about even more than that. About not being drawn in. It's a path and you're in a better place now with 'plenty' of room for real relationship-s. Big warm hug. We'll be fine. PS I didn't scroll comments while listening attentively, but I did strech the last of a canvas 💪
@@driesketels we hermits stick together ❤️ it is what it is because obviously it needs to be. The moment is all there is, and each is new. I have no idea how when or who, but I'm looking forward to that company still unknown. Meanwhile - authentic beyond compromise. We've got this ❤️
I'm sorry u had such terrible experiences in your life.. You look so sweet and sensitive.. I was struck by what u said that just because u are thirsty u shouldn't drink poison.. I liked this expression.. even though I feel sometimes as well that loneliness is like a poison.. I am afraid sometimes I am becoming crazy because of it...I don't understand those who claim they are fine on their own.. people need friends.. we need to feel somebody loves and cares.. even just chatting and sharing day to day life...support each other, wasting time together .. its like food and water.. its a basic need to me.. and yes in our times we are all connected and at the same time isolated more than ever...
Thank you for your honesty and vulnerability, it takes a lot of strength to show something like this. What I've learned through-out life and having people come into my life that hurted me badly, is that I choose how to deal with these situations. Do I let my heart get harden and sour, so I'm not able to get vulnerable with someone who's worth my trust, love and energy... or do I decide each time to protect my heart, that it may stay soft and beautiful for that person whose gonna treat me with worth? I always decide for the last option, because I don't want my character to go to waist, to harden towards others and to change in a negative way. It's a scary chose and it's a whole lot of scarer to trust someone again. But because of this I was able to find my partner in crime (which also made me lose 2 friends haha). I hope you stay like this, it's beautiful.
Thanks for the encouraging words Aimee! It took a lot of strength indeed. I wrote the script out in January but it took me a couple of months to finally get enough courage to make it. Nice to read your story and thanks for sharing it. Hope to see you around. Good luck.
I'm 23, no friends my friends all left me because I'm Christian. I've been alone all my life grew up in a broken home now I'm so use to this aloneness that I'm pretty much terrified of people. I wont expose to much as this is public but i know how it feels and my heart goes out to you as well.
Dries, I loved your video, I must confess that I am not an artist but do love art. I am a retired teacher, taught for 45 years at the college level and the senior high school level. I love alone and my Labradoodle is my best friend. I love your accent and you are a very handsome young man. I could listen to you for hours, you speak in a very visual way. I also loved your quote, "a good friend is like a four leaf clover, they are hard to find and lucky to have." Hopefully you will consider me a friend.
You are so welcome! Yes Kenneth I would love to be your friend, let's be e-friends. A lot of people seem to handle their loneliness with a dog, perhaps I should try that once.
Oh man Dries. That experimental school you went to was absolute bs. I am sorry to hear you endured such bullying and pain. Then walking into a relation"shit" with a psycho and it snowballing into even more chaos and confusion. However, even through all of that, you hold this light inside and refuse to let others dim it. That takes great courage and determination, I applaud you! I know trauma responses can rule your body and world for a while, but we can work through it and on to better things. Please continue to make and share your art and giving us other artists some tips and advice. We could all use more kindness, help and healthy friendship. You keep being you and evolving and growing!
That school system was, I hope was and no more, A DISGRACE!! Everything that happened to you made you the special sharing , straight forward artist and youtube. Thank you for sharing.
Dries, A most interesting video and I am happy you weathered the stories of life. You are a stronger person tested by life’s difficulties. Needed people seek out strong people....take it from a 76 year old who has put up with weak people that can’t let you alone. I have had two such persons for many years and kindness to them just does not work. I stopped answering their phone calls and still they call.because they have no one else....sad. Your output of information about art and your up beat approach is inspiring. The best friend you will ever have is yourself. We viewers to your site think you are great. Signed....a friend from the USA who lives Belgium with many friends there.
This time it's around 3 am in India I was so depressed scrolling through UA-cam and watching some random stuff and I was feeling lonely even though I have people who call themselves my friends and family but they never filled that blank space I'm at the point of my life where there is nothing that i can do for my self to feel better except doing art and to be honest you made me realise that it's ok to be alone, it's essential ,you made me feel better, thank you 🙏 (don't mind my English)
Oh your English is just fine. I understood everything perfectly. I'm glad I could help. And it was nice to read you comment so I'm also glad you could help me. See you around.
Buddy I love that painting you're working on. I just learned about prussian blue and how it's an antidote to thallium and radiation poisoning like the color in Monet's starry night...I am studying to get my master's in chemical cosmetology so I can create new makeup shades and colors..you have a friend in me love :)
Prussian blue is one of my favorite colors, copper with some cyanide shizzles around it. Both dangerous and beautiful at the same time. Sounds like an interesting field that you're in. Good luck with your studies.
It's one of my favorite colors as well..i had no clue about the chemical properties and how it captures the cyanide in the intestinal tract was also extremely interesting....but then again i am a bit of a dork :)
Thank you ❤️ Horrible to say but it feels lil less sucky knowing you’re not alone in feeling this way. Love and blessings to any loner reading this 🙏🏼✨
Ohh sunshine ☀️ So sorry to hear that, I love to be alone and have just some fiends But I can be your friend Focus 🧘♀️ on positive energy, and if you give up , sometimes you get those things that you wish 🤍🤍🤍🤍
I have never been a popular person, but I really have not made an effort to be one. It can be hard to be someone who is perceived to be out of step with what society thinks as the norm. There can be a lot of negative stigmas to deal with. I eventually just accepted that I don't really fit any of the molds and I am okay with that. It looks like you have a lot of support reading through the comments. I hope find peace and meaning my friend. Life can be a very strange journey.
Oh, you're totally right. The comment section is just an amazing place at the moment. Very powerful! Thanks for leaving your thoughts as well. See you around.
Being your own best friend first is the greatest gift to your self ..it's the year of self love I have decided...and are spreading the message to LOVE YOUR UGLYS...very raw and honest post ...the greatest revenge is success...your brave and holding up other scared artists with your great videos and beautiful art 👊😎💪🦍⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Well said! The greatest revenge is success indeed. There is a particular type of beauty in taking the dark moments in your life and transforming them into something successful, something beneficial for others. Thanks for taking the time to write such a lovely comment Rebecca. Always appreciate your comments. Have a great day.
I honestly prefer to be alone most of the time. I find nothing wrong with it, only other people think it’s strange. I rather be in my little art studio creating my own little world that makes me happy then out and about with strangers acting like they care about my day or having those horrific awkward conversations with people that lead to nothing but uncomfortableness. I have a close group of friends that i love dearly but i honestly don’t feel the need to meet up at a bar to catch up on life all the time. They understand that and that’s why I love them. I think the older we get we realize a lot of truth within ourselves and no matter what it is, you follow your intuition and your heart. Seems like you have been through dark times and I can tell you one thing for sure, there is ALWAYS A RAINBOW at the end of that storm and everything that has happened will lead you in the direction in life you need to go. Even if it doesn’t feel like it at the moment ❤
Hello Dries from Stockholm. I think its very brave of you to open up about your trauma. You have created and been generous with your knowledge for a long time now. Always feel welcome to contact me if you are feeling low. Take good care and understand you are not alone : ) Ciao! Nick.
Hello. I also have no friends. I’ve always been this way. I am also a painter. You have my understanding and empathy. You really do. You are not alone in your loneliness
That's a painful story. Sorry to hear your life unfolded like this. Here's one very important advice for anyone without friends: If you haven't done that yet, find yourself a therapist! Not just the first you come across. Search until you find a therapist that you like and deeply trust. There are multiple good reasons for doing so. For one, they'll help you figure out things about yourself that may have continually gone in the way of finding friends. Often it's obstacles that we only create in our minds, for example when we "believe" we know what others think about us. Therapy can also help us unveil and process traumatic events from our early childhoods. Often, those are responsible for our false beliefs and delusions. Lastly, a therapist will patiently listen to whatever burdens or hurts you, whether it is thoughts that you feel ashamed to tell anyone or simply something you wish to share. For those who are worried about the false stigma that is still attached to therapy: The primary task of a therapist isn't to cure crazy people. It's to help people stay mentally healthy and understand their psyches. Societies would be far advanced, if we taught some of those things at school.
@@driesketels I understand that. I waited 10 years before putting in the time and effort. 10 years that I now wish I could get back. Be wiser than I was. Best wishes!
I want to make comment to support you. You have good people like us on the internet. First of all you are not alone I would view it as a grow-up pain. As I didn't realize that till 3 years ago I learned to say "No" more than " Yes" so I can spend alone time vs meanless social time. Secondly, in order for us to grow we need time to think and grow especially as artists we are born with nature to have an independent and free mind. Lastly, It is okay to be alone and feel lonely sometimes or just doing nothing so our brain can enjoy the loneliness like listen to music or making art just for ourselves not for youtube or any commercial purpose. Balance is the key. It's a long-term game we cannot sacrifice our valuable asset which is our happy brain and body. Each time I want to give up, there are always strangers I met in local they somehow saw me in local media or recently other art non-profit leader told me they appreciate my post. Those are the people who give us smiles and motivation. The real people who care and follow us! You will be successful as you are brave to show your true feeling!
Seeing it as grow-up pain is a nice thought. I totally agree with you, in order to grow we need time to think and grow. That lonely time might just be necessary. Thanks for your thoughtful comment and thanks for your support. That's truly appreciated.
Most of the things u said feels like my life. Till date, I still have no friends, and I don't feel comfortable around people but, I really want to make friends because I hate loneliness
Absolutely understand you... Have been reading a lot of books on loneliness lately and I'm about to make another video adressing the issue. Thanks for the feedback Ugo...
Thank you Dries for being so honest. I really think most decent people who are true and honest would agree with you that it is "better to have no friends than bad ones" . . . I have had many experiences of losing female friends (particularly) and wondering, over many years, what I did wrong, only to realise that I did nothing wrong. I've lived in London for many years (am originally from the north west) and this city is full of toxic phoney people who will stand on your head to raise themselves up. We have to live by our own high standards and not allow parasites to nibble away at us and fracture our (sometimes fragile) self-worth. Best wishes to you 🌻
It all lays on having traumas that had been compartmentalized by the mind. To resolve them is to resolve loneliness and to END the cycle of effects across many different situations like mentioned by you Dries to go back in your memory and enrich those memories acknowledging your participation on it REALISING THAT now you know better and because you know better you wont put yourself in the same situation again, keeping the new perspective that you know better therefore there is no chance you will let yourself be in those positions again, THAT! reliving those traumas from a safe place of self power is not only healing but empowering. Our hearts build walls of protection and we go lonely out of subconscious self sabotaging driven by those overly protective walls So remember, relieve, acknowledge you didn't know any better back then SO THAT YOU CAN FORGIVE YOURSELF and do it from this place of experiential power and you will have this barrier taken down. Those traumas become a pillar that sustains all mental processes affecting every single decision across the board of your mental cognition, to resolve them is to free your spirit to a NEW life which is a direct result of repairing the heart. The forgiveness process is very important too and it is achieved through rationalization and logic thought, there must be reasoning in order to genuinely forgive (the reasoning is we are all learning and what we don't know we don't know therefore in the past we have no fault as we didn't know any better, the power comes from knowing that now we know better therefore we are safe. Pin this comment to help others. More information that pertains to this can be found on my channel description. Take this journey, it is a life changing one, I am available if anyone has any questions about it. This teaches self love and self love is POWERFUL.
Loneliness and Solitude are two different things. I am an artist, I go to a therapy group and we talk about loneliness a lot. The psychology behind it is complex but one thing is certain: Loneliness has a corrosive effect on the mind and changes you even if in your thoughts (your conscious mind) you feel like your life has a goal, you work towards it and have success. Loneliness is still at work underneath it all and in my (and at least 3 other people) experience, it takes about 2-3 years before you notice how you have changed in ways which are only "explainable" by effects and avoiding loneliness.
Dries, We’ve communicated a few times. You are a great artist, very intelligent, young, good looking and you can even play tennis! Christ- I couldn’t play tennis if my life depended on it! I imagine that you are probably good fun to be with and have a lot of insight. Your videos are really helpful. We all know what Andy Warhol said “Life’s a b.... and then.....” Even though this is true in many ways, particularly for Andy, there can always be good times. I’ve had lots of bad experiences. I’m over 60 and that alone is one of life’s surprises - how did that happen? Wasn’t I 20 a few weeks ago? Where am I? Who are these people? But you are still young and just go for it man. In fact I’ve finally found my soulmate- a black cat. Yes I know - an old cat lady. People will always be disappointing and even destroying but there have been really amazing times in the past. I now have 2 good friends who are equally mad. Madness helps as one can live in denial or many other florid states. I find alcohol helps..... There are people who can help. Anyway I’m painting again and the solitude in the studio is good because it keeps the psychopaths away. And very few are really able to make art. I admire you and so do all the others who have commented here. X.
Those are really kind words, always like to read your comments. I have thought about a cat myself. Perhaps I'll take you up on that advice in the future.
@@driesketels I’ve just realised that it was probably inappropriate to suggest a cat when you are having a difficult time. Fine someone that you can talk to face-to-face. I hope that this will be resolved soon X
Very few people I know had an idyllic childhood, I sure didn't. It's been said you are the sum total of your experiences in life. Perhaps that's what drives your Art. That may be the fuel that helps you in your work. Either way you seem a caring sensitive person and I would be happy to call you a friend. The best I can do is follow you on Instagram. Regards Gordon
This video was so honest and it made me so sad. Thank you for sharing. I'm so sorry you had to go through all this. You deserve very good friends who love you and support you. What are your other interests? I'm sure you would meet some good like minded friends at group meet ups. Maybe you can invest more in spending some time on your other interests such as at hiking, running, reading, or different church groups? I know online friends are not the same but please reach out if you need someone to talk to!
Oh that is super kind of you to say Lucie, thanks for that offer and your suggestions. Kindly appreciated. It's nice to see so much friendliness in the comment section.
Hey Dries - very courageous of you to make this video. I was horrified by the abuse and bullying you went through. I can relate to that, as I have been bullied and outcasted since kindergarten up to this day. I am 52 and have been alone almost my entire life. So I know how this feels. Would you be able to benefit from some support from a therapist to work through some of the bad things you worked through? Look after yourself well Dries, and keep up hope. Kind regards, Ramon
I'm 62 years old, I have no friends, I can go weeks without having a conversation - I have my dog and I lose myself in my painting. My faith in The Lord keeps me sane.
I'm glad you found a way through faith. Thanks for your comment Patricia. See you around
Sir! I want to tell you , i love you. And i want to see your painting.l love painting.🙋😉♥️🌠
Oh that's very kind of you
Sending LOVE AND HUGZ
In a Different situation. But w Faith in Jesus it's the only thing that keeps me going, I'm crying 😢 now.
Truly I Pray in Pure Love for You to have JOY , and be Blessed with a Faithful perfect friend.
Medical thingz have isolated me "from friends " , I began fearing hurting them unintentionally, for I'd have to cancel.
May Your Love BREAK THROUGH any fears. Trauma from past was only healed by forgiving and realizing the past is like this huge muck of gunk , sludge I couldn't get out of.
Slowly each Day by God Grace , encouragement to paint, to try, to focus on Pure Love, Peace and Compassion and just keep moving.
Thank You for sharing Your trials, tribulations and triumphs.
Many Blessings, Peace, Love and Years OF JOY "Hugz"
Jesus: John 14: 21 He who has My commandments and keeps them is the one who loves Me; and he who loves Me will be loved by My Father, and I will love him and will disclose Myself to him.” 22 Judas (not Iscariot) *said to Him, “Lord, what then has happened that You are going to disclose Yourself to us and not to the world?” 23 Jesus answered and said to him, “If anyone loves Me, he will keep My word; and My Father will love him, and We will come to him and make Our abode with him. 24 He who does not love Me does not keep My words; and the word which you hear is not Mine, but the Father’s who sent Me.
John 7: 37 Now on the last day, the great day of the feast, Jesus stood and cried out, saying, “If anyone is thirsty, let him come to Me and drink. 38 He who believes in Me, as the Scripture said, ‘From his innermost being will flow rivers of living water.’” 39 But this He spoke of the Spirit, whom those who believed in Him were to receive; for the Spirit was not yet given, because Jesus was not yet glorified.
Luke 24: 44 Now He said to them, “These are My words which I spoke to you while I was still with you, that all things which are written about Me in the Law of Moses and the Prophets and the Psalms must be fulfilled.” 45 Then He opened their minds to understand the Scriptures, 46 and He said to them, “Thus it is written, that the Christ would suffer and rise again from the dead the third day, 47 and that repentance for forgiveness of sins would be proclaimed in His name to all the nations, beginning from Jerusalem. 48 You are witnesses of these things. 49 And behold, I am sending forth the promise of My Father upon you; but you are to stay in the city until you are clothed with power from on high.”
"that all things which are written about Me in the Law of Moses and the Prophets and the Psalms must be fulfilled.” The jews that not believe in Jesus do also have these Scriptures, so it cannot been corrupted for Jesus. Is Jesus falsely made up so that He fits into it? No, it makes more sense that Scriptures were prepared for Jesus and that God prepared the coming of Jesus.
Sensitive people attract narcissists, psychopaths, etc. If you are sensitive person, you have to protect yourself.
there's two things about having friends that I've always gone by: Better to have no friends than bad friends. And that they come and go.
Friends come and go, that's most certainly true. Wise words Victoria.
I quit my social life after being used and betrayed by so-called friends. My life has never been better and much peaceful. Sometimes I wonder why I wasted 10 good years being surrounded by fake people just because I feel lonely. Don't forget there are people that remain supportive of you even if it's online interaction. :) Keep on creating good stuff.
Fake people are worse then no people at all! Thanks for your support Miska!
Good point Frank
Personally I think our soul needs human interaction but I agree about fake people. I only have a handful of friends that I consider true friends. What I notice is that there are a lot of people who may be surrounded by "friends" but they are not people who can tell your hurt to.
"YOur soul needs human interaction" I like that and definitely agree with you. That's part of the reason why loneliness can be very painful.
This resonated!
A good friend is like a four-leave clover. Hard to find and lucky to have.
This is very true, I commend you for speaking out, the real truth is most humans feel inferior to a great artist and will always hate instead of just being happy with what they have. Instead most will be jealous and take out their own shitty life on others
Jealousy is a dangerous trait in humans. Thanks for your support
Your authenticity and vulnerability is so beautiful. Thank you for sharing your story. I'm sorry you went through a very traumatic time. The new world we're living in makes it very difficult to connect with another as their intentions are not always pure. I spend a lot if time on my own too as like you said it's best to be on your than in a toxic environment. When your living your true purpose, thriving and loving life this unfortunately triggers a lot of people. Sending plenty of warm love bombs and your never alone.🙏❤
Thanks for your kind words Panna. We are never truly alone indeed.
That's why i got a dog. The most loving, loyal and funny friend i have ever had. He also makes me go out 3 times a day and meet new people (and pick up his poo as well).
Makes you go out 3 times/day... That sounds great! Most days I don't get to that number I think. Perhaps I should take a dog
Yes! I want one 😻 dogs are best friends
Yeah perhaps you're right
better than humans haha... Perhaps I should take a dog
A friend of mine just took a dog and was telling me that nowadays having a dog and going out with him everyday is almost the only way to socialize with people!!!
Actually really glad you took the time to open up about your struggles. I followed you initially for the social media tips but staying for your authenticity. I struggle the same as I’m growing my brand and page and I find that it’s a lonely road at times. We’re all here for you brother
That's very much appreciated James. It's a lonely road at times indeed.
This could have been my exact comment :) :)
I just want to say thank you for the courage to tell us such experiences, and for the power of honesty of your words. I discovered you last year, here on youtube, and I learn very much from you, as an artist and as a character. Take care are create unforgetable art!
Wow, thank you Lidia. That's really nice to hear. See you around.
'You shouldn't drink poison just because you are thirsty'. Spot on 👍 You are a precious soul, and those who appreciate you will support you - online and offline. Yes, being an artist is one of the loneliest professions out there but I learn to be appreciative and develop the art of living by myself. I resort to prayer and meditation to find inner peace, when in between work. Love the originality in your work. Keep creating with your talent!
Meditation does help a lot indeed. Thanks for your beautiful words Sarawak. See you around.
How dare you scroll down while I'm still talking... You're such a bad listener!
Can't you see this is sensitive information...
I just want to hug you after watching this. I'm sorry that some of your life experiences have brought you so much pain.
You are not alone, I come to see you as often as I can. I absolutely enjoy our time together. I guess I never thought to give back. You have given me so much. I am working on a series of paintings again. I am almost ready to start posting. You have provided me them the strength to try again. Your advice is easy to understand and real. Thank you.
Oh George that makes me so happy to hear. I hope you enjoyed the process of painting because that would already be a win to start.
I am mostly a potter and sculptor, but I work on painting every week.
The algorithm had nothing to do with it. You're just awesome. Friends, lovers, even family, it is hard to find any human being that will evolve along with you. Enjoy those who touch you as much as you can for as long as they last. I didn't understand that at 28 either.
Enjoy those who touch you as much as you can for as long as they last. That's beautifully said Antoine. Thanks for your kind words, see you around.
Dries, it takes courage to talk about your life. I am an artist too, I am older now and have a few friends. Like many others here, it can be days without seeing or talking to someone, but I like being on my own. The best thing is that I am still creating my artwork.
Nice to hear that you are still creating your artwork Barbara. Keep it up and thanks for your encouraging words.
You're a fascinating young man. I'm very proud of you. Thank you for sharing your insights and information. All the best to you.
Thank you for taking time to share your story. We usually only want to share happy things with each other, but sharing difficulties and challenges are the things that help us connect the most. IMO
Painting in the background is pleasing. Also I like the way you talk. It’s calming.
Sorry since it’s off-topic.
Oh you can be as much off topic as you want. Thanks thanks thanks
I love solitude, but it is also nice to have company every now and then. I look at solitude as an invitation to truly hear myself over the chaos of life.
Great video🍀
And here you are again with a beautiful way of saying something. I look at solitude as an invitation to truly hear myself over the chaos of life...
I was wondering. Do you have a blog or something?
@@driesketels Thanks....I don't have a blog, not yet....I was on Instagram for a little over a year, 3 years ago...writing poetry mostly and then someone got sticky fingers with a poem of mine and I left...been thinking of getting back out there but I'm unsure of the best outlet...I love to write and share but I think I could ALWAYS do without the predatory, psychotic behaviors 😳 Who needs that walking around upstairs in their head?😅
Thank you for taking time to share your story. We usually only want to share happy things with each other, but sharing difficulties and challenges are the things that help us connect the most. IMO
It’s good to be understood
Whoa. Wow. Just so you know, maybe it matters, maybe not, but my impression of you after watching 30? 50? of your videos is that you REALLY had your shi* together in life. I couldn't have imagined what happened in the past. But, it's the past. You've somehow pulled yourself together and you're producing amazing art. You've somehow got 33,000+ followers here. Your videos make me smile and laugh out loud almost every day and I still have dozens more I can watch anytime. Unfortunately you've had some experiences that could have wrecked your life. They haven't though. You're still here cranking it out. Don't stop man, this is your calling. This is what you're great at. Your monologues are honestly the best I've ever heard on the topic of art. You have a unique style that appeals to so many of us. Keep going bro. Keep cranking it out. Keep your faith in humanity. You've connected with a number of as*holes over the years. The thing is, you're free to find new friends. New people worth trusting. People who like your personality. People who like your intelligence. People who like what you have to say and who FOLLOW YOU. I've only been watching you for a few months, but I can't look away. I have to watch every new video you put out, and even crave an old one every now and then. I'm not even an artist AT ALL. I'd love to, but just don't have the time. I make money online but have no talent in art. I live vicariously through my daughter - who has some talent, and YOU.
You have real talent too. It persevered through some real dark days. You're past all that. You have an incredible future ahead. I see it clearly. Just go there... follow your heart and this dream of a very successful art career and you'll get there. It's where you're supposed to be. It's so obvious to me. Cheers man!!!!!!
God bless you Dries!!!
God bless you too sungtaewoon
As i grow older i find that most people are just acquaintances...friends are very few. You will be lucky to have a couple late in life. I hope you get through the bad times...i love watching your vids !!
Thanks for the comment Okie. Interesting thoughts. Most people are merely acquaintances.
I found this really true after college...1 friend i still talk to...and 30 years working...i find after you leave work, nobody will stay in touch with you, unless you make the effort. Just stop talking to everyone for a month...see who asks if you are OK.
Just stop talking to everyone for a month... see who asks if you are OK. That's a powerful one from both sides. I'm not sure if I'm the person that asks people if they are OK after a month either so I guess that sais something about myself first and foremost.
People are energy vampire. I am 100% better with no friends at all and dont need them
very accurate comments and never thought I'd feel like that as years ago was so different but indeed how it turns out, bit isolated at times but disappointed with fake people too over the years.
Sorry to hear youve gone through a lot. Many of us can relate. Such a fallen world. You have survived and thats great. You also stepped out into yt and are helping so many people you likely will never know. So thank you for that.
Also remember many are lonely in dead end marriages too, and some live in places where dogs are allowed and affordable. Theyre best buddies. I hope to have one some day 😊
At first I thought you were doing a skit! I was laughing since I thought it was made up. I then started to realize it was real. ...then I started to relate...then I totally understood all the phases of going through "friends". I find the most peace and happiness, fun, learning, being enthralled etc etc in my studio that is a closet with all my most loved items in it and hardly any clothes (in the closet lol). I like to go out and be amount people sometimes..but then leave them all behind and come back to my heart and home studio. I'm sorry you had to go through the horrible friends. I get annoyed that you have to be so aware and listening to your voice and guides every second and NEVER drop the ball OR ELSE. It's also how we are guided like tough love to where we feel at one with the universe. I am writing a book so Ill stop there before I have a wall of text.
oh my gosh so am I. I don’t have friends. and that’s okay🤗 I’m currently focusing on investing in myself. I’m an introvert. Just do the things you love. who needs friends when you have your family and God. stay safe man!
You got this! Focusing on personal growth is always a good idea
Just know you are not alone and there are people out there that love you and support you that don't even
Know you but we are all one
Love and light precious soul!!!
Dries, good for you, for being soo candid & brave to speak about your painful past. We all go through pain in life, & sometimes become stronger within. I often read “ Letters to Theodore” from Van Gogh. A must read for those struggling in life! Take care & Thankyou for all your great videos! R
I have read a couple of those letters. It's funny that you say that because I was planning to make a video about Van Gogh and already started to read some of those letters again. Thanks for your encouraging words.
I'm 28 as u , have no friends, it was just good , but now I feel so bad , alone and trying all the ways to have one but all just disappointment 😔
Sometimes I wonder how much time others spend alone...I watch videos like this to give me perspective...you are right... don't fear having no friends...fear having toxic ones/ones who don't wish you the best
There are many things I want to say to you Dries...just say, as I call myself a true Artist after 44 years...i never really knew for myself...it took me some detours...I just discovered you 2 weeks ago and I follow cool souls on this planet and you are a great gift in the ART world.I take every word in like medicine, what you say...it all feels so good and true..thank the angels for sending you.🌟🌠😇🌌❤
You are way too kind Agnes. Thanks for taking the time to write such a lovely message. I'm sure the Angels did a great job by sending you into this world as well. See you around.
Hello Dries. The title of your video caught my eye. Being an artist myself, I can relate to the isolation that being an artist can entail. It is a very solitary profession. For some reason, bullies feel empowered to make someone else’s life miserable. Yes…it is better to have no friends than to have bad friends. Be selective of who you surround yourself with. You are a good guy and a kind soul. Find people who are worthy of you. You were right when you said, “Learn from the bad moments in your life.” It will make you a stronger person and wiser to recognize creepy people before you let anyone like that into your life again. It is so sweet of you to share your story so that others who are feeling the same feelings as you are will feel
encouraged, rather than feeling saddened. It was so nice of you and it took a lot of courage to post that on here. Thank you. After viewing this video, I checked out a few of your other videos and find you to be very wise. I did a google search to check out some of your artwork. The colors you work with are beautiful. I especially enjoyed your self portrait and artwork of people. Great job! I wish you continued success with your artwork. God bless.
That is such a wonderful comment. Thanks for your encouragement and kind words. See you around.
@@driesketels You are VERY welcome.
Your hair is absolutely gorgeous, volume , texture and length . You are very lucky. we are out here clinging on ours. I can't eff with my hair otherwise its gone.
Oh wow! I'm glad the hair is appreciated. Thanks for your lovely comment.
I have been working as a teacher for outcast / violent and misguided students for 20 years. I always have to keep in the back of my mind about my judgements of others. Everyone has their path to take one should remember before passing harsh judgement upon others-what they might have gone through. I can feel your story because I taught student who have had similar situations, not all did well coming out and some are very hard to even talk to. Your art is your savior your personality shines through your story. I wish you the best and I love your light hearted yet helpful video posts. Keep up the good work. Your virtual friend----Billy Brandenburg
Sounds like you're doing a great job for those children. Thanks for your encouragement, Billy. See you around.
That school year sounds so traumatic. I didn't know that such an education system exists. I'm so sorry to hear you had to go through all this bullying...and the situation with those bad people sounds even more traumatic. Those are some extremely hard experiences and the fact that you have survived them means you're a strong person. Surviving 'art' also takes strength.
However, I don't think giving up on friendship is the right thing to do. True enough, true friendship sorts of happens on its own. It cannot be forced. But one should still be open to the possibility of it. Yes, sometimes we need time on our own. Yes, it is better to be alone than surrounded with wrong people. Yes, an artist lifestyle doesn't make meeting people easy...but where there is a will, there is a way. There is no reason for you not to have a true friend or friends. You're a lovely person, intelligent and mature.
Haha, surviving 'art'... I felt that. Beautifully said. Something only artists understand I think
Where there is a will there is a way, I like that. I'm not planning on giving up on friendship just yet. But I have been close. Thanks for the encouraging words Ivana!
@@driesketels yes, something only artists get. It's not all fun and games.
@@driesketels Thank you for your inspiring videos. Have a nice day.
I appreciate all of your videos. This one included. It’s very heart opening to be able to get a tiny glimpse into what your life has been like for you and your story. I wish I could wrap you up in a very big long hug, and get you to have coffee (or tea or whatever) with me every now and then. I hope you feel a sweet long and loving energetic hug coming your way as you read this. I hope this sharing and grace brings into your life really high quality beautiful souls for you to experience real connection with. And for you to in turn bless them with by means of knowing you, for I am sure you are a blessing in all that you are, wounds and all. Sending you love.
Hi Dries. Thank you very much for sharing your story. It speaks to me because I am an artist too and a very sensitive person. I gradually got rid of all friends because I realized that I am not getting anything from these relationships. Small example: these people were not even remember when my birthday is, while I always prepared the gifts for their birthdays just to show that I care about them.
When I decided to become and artist and changed my occupation, start painting and showed them my first works, most of them had a negative feedback about my art. It is ok to not liking smth but I expected them to be more gentle and not hurt me with their opinions. This is the minimum I expected from them. In fact, a good friend should support, like a loving parent, say that you are doing well, keep going! This is my perception of a good friendship.
So I felt that it it enough and one day I decided that I would rather be alone and stopped all communication with these people.
I feel much better now, only stick with some of my family members that care about me.
I am 35 and have no friends and avoid having deep connections outside of my circle. I still think it is important to have at least someone that I could be very close to. For me this person is my husband. He supports and inspires me.
I am wishing you all the best with your work. You are very talented artist. Also, thank you very much for sharing your experience with us, artists.
Bless your heart Dries …. Bless your heart. God bless you.
Brave video and kudos to you Dries for posting. Loneliness and bullying are huge issues. One of my adult children is your age Dries and still suffers PTS from bullying at school. I have been fortunate to have three people in my life I know are true friends - no judgements, no put-downs from them and always there for me through everything. Yet those who claimed to be friends for decades - and who I was not always comfortable around due to their smartarse and demeaning comments - proved to be no friends at all and betrayed me in the worst way possible. Better to have no friends or just one close friend than people who only care about themselves. I feel your pain. I do not mind being alone but I do mind being lonely now and then.
Thank you for sharing your personal experience with such honesty and openness. It's incredibly important to bring light to these issues of loneliness and bullying, and your words contribute to this conversation.
I'm sorry to hear about your child's struggle with post-traumatic stress from bullying. It's heartbreaking when those we love are affected by such deep emotional pain.
You're absolutely right about the value of true friends. Genuine friendships, even if they are few, far outweigh superficial ones. They're the ones who accept us as we are, uplift us, and are by our side through thick and thin. It's regrettable that some people you believed were friends turned out to be otherwise, but it sounds like you've gained valuable insight from these experiences.
Loneliness can be a challenging feeling to navigate, even for those of us who generally appreciate solitude. Remember, it's okay to feel lonely sometimes, and it's perfectly alright to seek help when these feelings become overwhelming. You're not alone in this. Thank you again for your bravery in sharing your story.
Thank you for this sincere video Dris.
I am 25 and I am currently dealing with loneliness myself… and sometimes it is hard. But I also feel like, it is an essential part of the creative process
I cant wait to see what art piece will come out out of your story🙏🏾🤍
I have been thinking about one for the last couple of days while I was busy with the video...
At least we know we are not the only ones now. Thanks for your comment Jessie, that's really kind.
Great video. I can relate. Thank you for the honest approach
Thanks for watching! I'm still not comfortable with this amount of honesty online tbh... I'm kind of waiting in agony to see the reactions of people at this moment.
@@driesketels no worries at all. Let them come. I used to struggle with my loneliness when I lived in the city but since I moved to the woods to enjoy the company of my dogs, I switched the sad feelings to joy. You are doing 👍
That's interesting! Being surrounded by less people ironically created less loneliness for you. Perhaps I should get some animals.
@@driesketels how it went? hope everything is cool. You should have a pet. They are awesome. Let me tell you, my life changed 180 degrees since I have their company. I was so depressed feeling lonely and constantly comparing myself to others until BY CHANCE I end up living in the woods surrounded by selfishness animals. They are so inspiring and awesome as they are great teachers of what is really important in life. Now I can focus myself and I've never been more creative and productive. Trust me man, you will feel great.
Omg, my heart goes out to you. That's horrible how people can treat other human beings like that. I'm so sorry you went through all that, but its very courageous of you to talk about your experiences and still staying positive. You're not alone feeling lonely. Loneliness is a pandemic these days. I have no friends, no family, no social life. I try, but I always still end up alone. But yes, I'd rather have no friends than bad/fake friends.
Stay beautiful, stay positive, and I hope everything turns around for you! You're an amazing artist btw! 💚🎨🖌
You are the kindest. Thanks for your encouraging words. More people like you please...
Once I became a Christian I found I was never alone. I'm married with 4 children. My 5 favorite human beings! Seek for relationships if you are lonely. Carve out the time. You're a super empathic and loving person. Friends and relationships are out there! You got this. :-)
I do have friends but I sometimes question if there is an authentic, REAL connection there at all. Thank you for sharing your story as I saw bits of my own story in yours and it was a thought-starter; a reminder. It is important to put yourself first and we learn it the hard way sometimes but it's just the way life works I guess. We're all connected yet lonely in our own ways and all we can do is create value for ourselves through our work, through our actions..and hope it brings us peace, feelings of contentment and happiness in the later years of life. It is not impossible to find joy in life in the absence of a close-knit circle of friends; challenging but never impossible. It just takes more time to detach yourself from past experiences sometimes. I always remember what my mom told me "Always keep the door half-open. Don't keep it completely shut and keep people away from surprising you someday but at the same time don't just leave it open and let anyone enter either." Wishing you only the best, Dries. You're not alone. Sending love all the way from India 🇮🇳to choose your friends wisel
I am so greatful to have found this UA-cam channel. It's very real and honest and realistic. I'm so sorry all these horrible things happened to you I can relate because after 3 years of Jr. Reserve officer training core in highschool I realized it was not for me. I don't have it in me to hurt people and that's what these military settings mainly bring out in young people, the skills to be successful at, ultimately, military life. So when I heard your experience I despised the things these people did. Also the kind of friends that you ended up meeting early in life. I'm glad to see you are healed but the internal scars are hard to fade , it does make you reserved and cautious. And your mom having cancer is a totally different nightmare. I hope the best for you and your family.I thank you for sharing your story it only inspires others to fight through difficult situations and that you can survive them. Fear having bad friends, so true, but if your more the wiser to know when to walk away from that. But never give up, there are true friends out there. What you're doing engenders so much good will, you will be rewarded for being a person who shares your knowledge especially when you're helping others. Thank you.
I'm a writer, which in itself is very isolating, and I understand exactly what you mean about how your profession, accentuates the loneliness. What I can't relate to, is the degree of pain people have caused you, and I'm so, so sorry you went through that. I can't begin to described how heart wrenching I found your story. All it does is just reinforce to me how disgusting human beings can be.
With all that said, I would love to be your friend! Not only are you beautiful on the outside, but you come across just as beautiful on the inside - and pure, which is a plus! But with everything that has happened to you, I could understand why you wouldn't want to be lol. Much love to you and I hope you find great success with your amazing art! ❤️❤️
Oh your words are very kind and appreciated. Let's be e-friends indeed.
Oh boy hey! I haven’t had friends in two years! It’s been a rough few years 😂🤍 but I’ve accepted that at the right time the right people will come
At the right time the right people will come, let's hope you are right.
“You shouldn’t drink poison just cuz your thirsty” dang
That hit differently right
It's a quote I got from some guy or girl, don't remember where it comes from
Thank you for your honest video. I am watching your videos some time now and they are like diamonds for me in the vast UA-cam ocean. I have never commented on a UA-cam video before. But i have to say you are a really nice guy and so deep in your thoughts, i really like that. I also had my encounters with rejections from friends, but i was lucky to find some trustworthy friends after that. I wish you the same!
I appreciate that! If this is your first UA-cam comment I'm feeling very honored! Thanks
Dries, I am the opposite. I have been very blessed to have amazingly supportive friends but lacked the love in the family life. This lead me to partying through my 20's and not focusing on my craft. I used to regret it, I thought my friends were holding back my art. But I realize now that they are what helped me to keep going, and that it is entirely on me to focus for my art career to be a success. Thank you for the insight. Your videos give me the courage to share my story. Thank you!
Taking responsibility for your own art career is the only path forward. Glad to see that you understand that Ryan. And don't regret anything... if you're in your 30ies you still have 50 years that's more then enough to create an amazing art career!
The same thing happened to me! Grew up in an abusive family and ran away from home. I hope you're doing OK now - Sending you good vibes & wish you all the best and success in your art.
I'm really sorry ,what you went through ,you are intelligent,person ,people can be cruel ,sometimes friends can hurt you ,there's nothing worse than being only ,you are to strong ,things will get easier for you.
you're very brave to share all of this. may you be happy, love yourself and have much success.
Thanks for your kind words!
@@driesketels you're most welcome
Dont ever hate yourself!
You are so young, full of life.
You have a lot left to live on.
This world has turned horrible, now more than ever. Just be careful.
Observe and approach people, spend little time with people withoit knowing your address, your fortune, your personal life. Sad you went through the bad surprise.
With people we have to be selective, it is a hi and a bye.
We are born alone.
We die alone.
Good luck.
Best wishes.
Power to you.
Hey man you have a friend if your ever in San Diego, California. I can relate to a lot of what you shared with in this video. Praying for you man.
I appreciate that, that's very kind.
Thank you Dries, I love your honesty. I too have had no friends for about 12 years now. Sometimes i feel sad about it but I think its better for me, no one to dissapoint.lol. Your a very lovely person. Keep making videos and I will keep watching them.
Thanks Jenn, it's very nice to read that I'm not alone. See you around
Dude!?! Jesus, well I hope you’re talking to someone about this. I’m not a therapist but that’s a lot of stuff to work out on your own. It took about four years for me to convince my wife to see a therapist. Her depression was severe, at times suicidal, but she did get better with therapy. The thoughts were there but manageable. I’m not sure what her progress would have been because she passed away from brain cancer two years ago.
Take care of yourself. Talking it out does help.
u seem so kind and good person may GOD be with you and help you
i'd love to have some artiy friend, as given up with past friends in my life, I know no one creative or in same field.. always wishing I knew someone really artistic who I could chat and hang out with and go to arty things with, gets me down too..
My life right now. No friends. No family. Just me & my 4 boys. I'm so grateful to have them. We just go one day at a time.
One day at a time. That's the spirit.
This is the start of your journey, man. Addressing is head on is the hardest initial step, but you've done it. Thank you for being so transparent and sharing your story. Cheers
My pleasure! And thanks for your encouraging words
I'm going to turn 25 this year, single, and fresh out of college. I did not grow with that many friends, or have any idea if I'm ever going to have a serious social life since I will dedicate myself on working in my studio.
I've always feared on ending up all alone, despite having a family that supports me, I constantly sought the approval of other people. Always too focused on impressing others, but those others ended up harming me or just not caring at all. I did not know anything about myself most of that time, I just wanted to feel like I belonged somewhere. A few years ago I spoke again with one of my bullies at a bar, offered me to become my art agent, hell no, turned down the offer lol. After watching your newest video about social media, I might consider deleting my Facebook. I never received messages from anyone, yet alone a happy birthday. I see how liberating it might feel just letting go of some people.
Thank you for your videos Dries. :)
hahaha, "he offered me to become my art agent"... Sometimes these bullies don't even realize what trauma they caused... Thanks for your lovely comment David and success with your art career! See you around
Thanks for sharing Dries, you are amazing and greatly talented. There is nothing wrong with you, but definitely with the people that you've unfortunately crossed paths with. Take care now.
I appreciate that, thanks for your kind words Levona!
Having watched this video, I don't feel alone anymore.
Thanks.
I can relate to a lot of this. Am 51 now - still growing up - still learning:). I live in the alps - made a bad friend who helped mess my life up here for me - indirectly - my fault - he was an alcoholic - and so was I - drinkers stick together - I messed up here with alcohol (had a run-in with a nasty local who I really shouldn't have messed with - now me and my fam under attack by bullies for last 5 yrs) - so feel pretty isolated (not a native of this country - can't even speak the language properly). The alg bit at the end made me laugh - don't know if that was intentional - you seem quite an ernest guy.
You've learned a lot about how (not) to choose friends. Or rather, about even more than that. About not being drawn in. It's a path and you're in a better place now with 'plenty' of room for real relationship-s.
Big warm hug. We'll be fine.
PS I didn't scroll comments while listening attentively, but I did strech the last of a canvas 💪
Stretching canvas is allowed! Thanks for your warm words.
@@driesketels we hermits stick together ❤️ it is what it is because obviously it needs to be. The moment is all there is, and each is new. I have no idea how when or who, but I'm looking forward to that company still unknown. Meanwhile - authentic beyond compromise. We've got this ❤️
It is what it is because it needs to be. I like that!
I'm sorry u had such terrible experiences in your life.. You look so sweet and sensitive.. I was struck by what u said that just because u are thirsty u shouldn't drink poison.. I liked this expression.. even though I feel sometimes as well that loneliness is like a poison.. I am afraid sometimes I am becoming crazy because of it...I don't understand those who claim they are fine on their own.. people need friends.. we need to feel somebody loves and cares.. even just chatting and sharing day to day life...support each other, wasting time together .. its like food and water.. its a basic need to me.. and yes in our times we are all connected and at the same time isolated more than ever...
Let's never drink poison just because we are thirsty again... And thanks for your kind and sensitive words. It's a pleasure to read your comment.
Thank you for your honesty and vulnerability, it takes a lot of strength to show something like this.
What I've learned through-out life and having people come into my life that hurted me badly, is that I choose how to deal with these situations. Do I let my heart get harden and sour, so I'm not able to get vulnerable with someone who's worth my trust, love and energy... or do I decide each time to protect my heart, that it may stay soft and beautiful for that person whose gonna treat me with worth?
I always decide for the last option, because I don't want my character to go to waist, to harden towards others and to change in a negative way. It's a scary chose and it's a whole lot of scarer to trust someone again. But because of this I was able to find my partner in crime (which also made me lose 2 friends haha).
I hope you stay like this, it's beautiful.
Thanks for the encouraging words Aimee! It took a lot of strength indeed. I wrote the script out in January but it took me a couple of months to finally get enough courage to make it. Nice to read your story and thanks for sharing it. Hope to see you around. Good luck.
I'm 23, no friends my friends all left me because I'm Christian. I've been alone all my life grew up in a broken home now I'm so use to this aloneness that I'm pretty much terrified of people. I wont expose to much as this is public but i know how it feels and my heart goes out to you as well.
Thanks for your kind words Michaela, my heart goes out to you as well.
Dries, I loved your video, I must confess that I am not an artist but do love art. I am a retired teacher, taught for 45 years at the college level and the senior high school level. I love alone and my Labradoodle is my best friend. I love your accent and you are a very handsome young man. I could listen to you for hours, you speak in a very visual way. I also loved your quote, "a good friend is like a four leaf clover, they are hard to find and lucky to have." Hopefully you will consider me a friend.
You are so welcome! Yes Kenneth I would love to be your friend, let's be e-friends. A lot of people seem to handle their loneliness with a dog, perhaps I should try that once.
I’m sorry to hear that and I wish things would get better for you soon. Sending you hugs.
That's very kind of you Lilach! Thanks
Oh man Dries. That experimental school you went to was absolute bs. I am sorry to hear you endured such bullying and pain. Then walking into a relation"shit" with a psycho and it snowballing into even more chaos and confusion. However, even through all of that, you hold this light inside and refuse to let others dim it. That takes great courage and determination, I applaud you! I know trauma responses can rule your body and world for a while, but we can work through it and on to better things. Please continue to make and share your art and giving us other artists some tips and advice. We could all use more kindness, help and healthy friendship. You keep being you and evolving and growing!
Thanks for your kind words, those are truly appreciated. We can all use more kindness, help and healthy friendships, amen to that!
That school system was, I hope was and no more, A DISGRACE!!
Everything that happened to you made you the special sharing , straight forward artist and youtube. Thank you for sharing.
Im sorry to hear that. I know how it is. Im 40 and have no friends
I'm sorry to hear that. I'm sure we'll find our way.
@@driesketels really hope so 🌹
I just made a video about this. I really get it and I support you on your path 🙏🏻❤️
I will check it ou Amanda!
@@driesketels Thank you so much for your support! I hope to be of service 😄
I admire your courage Dries, I admire it a lot!!
Thanks for your kindness and understanding. Have a great day!
@@driesketels Mate you're a good man and I am so glad I found your youtube channel, stay strong my friend.
Dries, A most interesting video and I am happy you weathered the stories of life. You are a stronger person tested by life’s difficulties. Needed people seek out strong people....take it from a 76 year old who has put up with weak people that can’t let you alone. I have had two such persons for many years and kindness to them just does not work. I stopped answering their phone calls and still they call.because they have no one else....sad.
Your output of information about art and your up beat approach is inspiring. The best friend you will ever have is yourself. We viewers to your site think you are great. Signed....a friend from the USA who lives Belgium with many friends there.
The best friend you will ever have is yourself. I like those thoughts. Thanks for your encouraging words George.
Man, really courageous to share this. Keep it up!
Thanks. Trying to be more open on UA-cam, really glad it's being noticed.
This time it's around 3 am in India I was so depressed scrolling through UA-cam and watching some random stuff and I was feeling lonely even though I have people who call themselves my friends and family but they never filled that blank space I'm at the point of my life where there is nothing that i can do for my self to feel better except doing art and to be honest you made me realise that it's ok to be alone, it's essential ,you made me feel better, thank you 🙏 (don't mind my English)
Oh your English is just fine. I understood everything perfectly. I'm glad I could help. And it was nice to read you comment so I'm also glad you could help me. See you around.
Buddy I love that painting you're working on. I just learned about prussian blue and how it's an antidote to thallium and radiation poisoning like the color in Monet's starry night...I am studying to get my master's in chemical cosmetology so I can create new makeup shades and colors..you have a friend in me love :)
Prussian blue is one of my favorite colors, copper with some cyanide shizzles around it. Both dangerous and beautiful at the same time. Sounds like an interesting field that you're in. Good luck with your studies.
It's one of my favorite colors as well..i had no clue about the chemical properties and how it captures the cyanide in the intestinal tract was also extremely interesting....but then again i am a bit of a dork :)
I hope someday you find people who aren't garbage. That said, you have your head on right here. 👍
Oh thanks for your encouraging words.
Thank you ❤️ Horrible to say but it feels lil less sucky knowing you’re not alone in feeling this way. Love and blessings to any loner reading this 🙏🏼✨
Ohh sunshine ☀️
So sorry to hear that,
I love to be alone and have just some fiends
But I can be your friend
Focus 🧘♀️ on positive energy, and if you give up , sometimes you get those things that you wish 🤍🤍🤍🤍
I have never been a popular person, but I really have not made an effort to be one. It can be hard to be someone who is perceived to be out of step with what society thinks as the norm. There can be a lot of negative stigmas to deal with. I eventually just accepted that I don't really fit any of the molds and I am okay with that. It looks like you have a lot of support reading through the comments. I hope find peace and meaning my friend. Life can be a very strange journey.
Oh, you're totally right. The comment section is just an amazing place at the moment. Very powerful! Thanks for leaving your thoughts as well. See you around.
Being your own best friend first is the greatest gift to your self ..it's the year of self love I have decided...and are spreading the message to LOVE YOUR UGLYS...very raw and honest post ...the greatest revenge is success...your brave and holding up other scared artists with your great videos and beautiful art 👊😎💪🦍⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Well said! The greatest revenge is success indeed. There is a particular type of beauty in taking the dark moments in your life and transforming them into something successful, something beneficial for others. Thanks for taking the time to write such a lovely comment Rebecca. Always appreciate your comments. Have a great day.
I honestly prefer to be alone most of the time. I find nothing wrong with it, only other people think it’s strange. I rather be in my little art studio creating my own little world that makes me happy then out and about with strangers acting like they care about my day or having those horrific awkward conversations with people that lead to nothing but uncomfortableness. I have a close group of friends that i love dearly but i honestly don’t feel the need to meet up at a bar to catch up on life all the time. They understand that and that’s why I love them. I think the older we get we realize a lot of truth within ourselves and no matter what it is, you follow your intuition and your heart. Seems like you have been through dark times and I can tell you one thing for sure, there is ALWAYS A RAINBOW at the end of that storm and everything that has happened will lead you in the direction in life you need to go. Even if it doesn’t feel like it at the moment ❤
Hello Dries from Stockholm. I think its very brave of you to open up about your trauma. You have created and been generous with your knowledge for a long time now. Always feel welcome to contact me if you are feeling low. Take good care and understand you are not alone : ) Ciao! Nick.
Thank you nick. I do try to be as helpful as possible on here. I'm glad that people like you notice Nick. See you around
Hello. I also have no friends. I’ve always been this way. I am also a painter.
You have my understanding and empathy. You really do. You are not alone in your loneliness
That's a painful story. Sorry to hear your life unfolded like this.
Here's one very important advice for anyone without friends: If you haven't done that yet, find yourself a therapist! Not just the first you come across. Search until you find a therapist that you like and deeply trust.
There are multiple good reasons for doing so. For one, they'll help you figure out things about yourself that may have continually gone in the way of finding friends. Often it's obstacles that we only create in our minds, for example when we "believe" we know what others think about us. Therapy can also help us unveil and process traumatic events from our early childhoods. Often, those are responsible for our false beliefs and delusions.
Lastly, a therapist will patiently listen to whatever burdens or hurts you, whether it is thoughts that you feel ashamed to tell anyone or simply something you wish to share.
For those who are worried about the false stigma that is still attached to therapy:
The primary task of a therapist isn't to cure crazy people. It's to help people stay mentally healthy and understand their psyches.
Societies would be far advanced, if we taught some of those things at school.
I couldn't agree more, but as you said it's very important to find a good one. And at this moment I have not put the time and effort into that.
@@driesketels
I understand that. I waited 10 years before putting in the time and effort. 10 years that I now wish I could get back.
Be wiser than I was. Best wishes!
I want to make comment to support you. You have good people like us on the internet. First of all you are not alone I would view it as a grow-up pain. As I didn't realize that till 3 years ago I learned to say "No" more than " Yes" so I can spend alone time vs meanless social time. Secondly, in order for us to grow we need time to think and grow especially as artists we are born with nature to have an independent and free mind. Lastly, It is okay to be alone and feel lonely sometimes or just doing nothing so our brain can enjoy the loneliness like listen to music or making art just for ourselves not for youtube or any commercial purpose. Balance is the key. It's a long-term game we cannot sacrifice our valuable asset which is our happy brain and body. Each time I want to give up, there are always strangers I met in local they somehow saw me in local media or recently other art non-profit leader told me they appreciate my post. Those are the people who give us smiles and motivation. The real people who care and follow us! You will be successful as you are brave to show your true feeling!
Seeing it as grow-up pain is a nice thought. I totally agree with you, in order to grow we need time to think and grow. That lonely time might just be necessary. Thanks for your thoughtful comment and thanks for your support. That's truly appreciated.
Most of the things u said feels like my life. Till date, I still have no friends, and I don't feel comfortable around people but, I really want to make friends because I hate loneliness
Absolutely understand you... Have been reading a lot of books on loneliness lately and I'm about to make another video adressing the issue. Thanks for the feedback Ugo...
Thank you Dries for being so honest. I really think most decent people who are true and honest would agree with you that it is "better to have no friends than bad ones" . . . I have had many experiences of losing female friends (particularly) and wondering, over many years, what I did wrong, only to realise that I did nothing wrong. I've lived in London for many years (am originally from the north west) and this city is full of toxic phoney people who will stand on your head to raise themselves up. We have to live by our own high standards and not allow parasites to nibble away at us and fracture our (sometimes fragile) self-worth. Best wishes to you 🌻
It all lays on having traumas that had been compartmentalized by the mind. To resolve them is to resolve loneliness and to END the cycle of effects across many different situations like mentioned by you Dries to go back in your memory and enrich those memories acknowledging your participation on it REALISING THAT now you know better and because you know better you wont put yourself in the same situation again, keeping the new perspective that you know better therefore there is no chance you will let yourself be in those positions again, THAT! reliving those traumas from a safe place of self power is not only healing but empowering.
Our hearts build walls of protection and we go lonely out of subconscious self sabotaging driven by those overly protective walls
So remember, relieve, acknowledge you didn't know any better back then SO THAT YOU CAN FORGIVE YOURSELF and do it from this place of experiential power and you will have this barrier taken down.
Those traumas become a pillar that sustains all mental processes affecting every single decision across the board of your mental cognition, to resolve them is to free your spirit to a NEW life which is a direct result of repairing the heart.
The forgiveness process is very important too and it is achieved through rationalization and logic thought, there must be reasoning in order to genuinely forgive (the reasoning is we are all learning and what we don't know we don't know therefore in the past we have no fault as we didn't know any better, the power comes from knowing that now we know better therefore we are safe.
Pin this comment to help others.
More information that pertains to this can be found on my channel description.
Take this journey, it is a life changing one, I am available if anyone has any questions about it.
This teaches self love and self love is POWERFUL.
Loneliness and Solitude are two different things. I am an artist, I go to a therapy group and we talk about loneliness a lot. The psychology behind it is complex but one thing is certain: Loneliness has a corrosive effect on the mind and changes you even if in your thoughts (your conscious mind) you feel like your life has a goal, you work towards it and have success. Loneliness is still at work underneath it all and in my (and at least 3 other people) experience, it takes about 2-3 years before you notice how you have changed in ways which are only "explainable" by effects and avoiding loneliness.
Dries, We’ve communicated a few times. You are a great artist, very intelligent, young, good looking and you can even play tennis! Christ- I couldn’t play tennis if my life depended on it! I imagine that you are probably good fun to be with and have a lot of insight. Your videos are really helpful.
We all know what Andy Warhol said “Life’s a b.... and then.....” Even though this is true in many ways, particularly for Andy, there can always be good times. I’ve had lots of bad experiences. I’m over 60 and that alone is one of life’s surprises - how did that happen? Wasn’t I 20 a few weeks ago? Where am I? Who are these people?
But you are still young and just go for it man. In fact I’ve finally found my soulmate- a black cat. Yes I know - an old cat lady.
People will always be disappointing and even destroying but there have been really amazing times in the past. I now have 2 good friends who are equally mad. Madness helps as one can live in denial or many other florid states. I find alcohol helps.....
There are people who can help.
Anyway I’m painting again and the solitude in the studio is good because it keeps the psychopaths away. And very few are really able to make art. I admire you and so do all the others who have commented here. X.
Those are really kind words, always like to read your comments. I have thought about a cat myself. Perhaps I'll take you up on that advice in the future.
@@driesketels I’ve just realised that it was probably inappropriate to suggest a cat when you are having a difficult time. Fine someone that you can talk to face-to-face. I hope that this will be resolved soon X
I also have no friends too. Thank you for this video
you are such a geniune person, thank you for your video!
You're welcome
Very few people I know had an idyllic childhood, I sure didn't. It's been said you are the sum total of your experiences in life. Perhaps that's what drives your Art. That may be the fuel that helps you in your work. Either way you seem a caring sensitive person and I would be happy to call you a friend. The best I can do is follow you on Instagram. Regards Gordon
Thanks for your kind words Gordon. I'll see you on Instagram then.
People may be intimidated by your hair. Great channel! Keep up the good work!
Thank you so much!
This video was so honest and it made me so sad. Thank you for sharing. I'm so sorry you had to go through all this. You deserve very good friends who love you and support you. What are your other interests? I'm sure you would meet some good like minded friends at group meet ups. Maybe you can invest more in spending some time on your other interests such as at hiking, running, reading, or different church groups? I know online friends are not the same but please reach out if you need someone to talk to!
Oh that is super kind of you to say Lucie, thanks for that offer and your suggestions. Kindly appreciated. It's nice to see so much friendliness in the comment section.
@@driesketels sending you a big virtual hug!!! Everyone deserves love and friendship. You will find it! Don’t give up!
Hey Dries - very courageous of you to make this video. I was horrified by the abuse and bullying you went through. I can relate to that, as I have been bullied and outcasted since kindergarten up to this day. I am 52 and have been alone almost my entire life. So I know how this feels. Would you be able to benefit from some support from a therapist to work through some of the bad things you worked through? Look after yourself well Dries, and keep up hope. Kind regards, Ramon