I love how you frequently talk about being a happy child-free couple. I'm 38 and my husband and I have been married for 12 years. We always knew that never wanted children and we haven't regretted our decision for one second. We're able to travel several times a year, we have plenty of time for each other and our friends, and we're financially stable without having to worry about the costs of raising children. Contrary to popular belief, kids are not the only way to a happy life. Nor are they a guarantee that you will have someone to care for you in old age.
Ugh I feel you so hard on the childfree conversation, I'm completely on the same page! Let's start asking "why do you want children "instead of "why don't you want children" because the reason to bring a whole human into the world should be stronger than "that's just what you do".
Even though I personally do want children, that's a great way to approach. I want to keep that in mind when navigating "do / don't want children" convos.
I’m 62. No kids. No regrets. I do have a niece who I’m close to I must admit. As I age she has expressed she feels responsible for my aging care, even tho I continually tell her it’s not on her. She and her husband are trying to get pregnant so I do look forward to a Grammy role!
You can say that, but she is family. Especially if you come from a family oriented society it will definitely be on her to take care of you. All I can say is appreciate her help. You are lucky to have her there for you and vice versa.
Thank you thank you thank you…I’m 50 years old and for as long as I can remember I’ve never wanted kids and am happily married without them. Your explanation about ‘regret’ going both ways on the Kids topic was spot on. By far the best response I’ve ever heard. I still to this day get asked If I “regret “ not having children…it never stops. In the future I will recite your words and have a frank discussion on the topic instead of feeling so pissed off with the question.
when kyuho was hit by the sudden realisation of the kilometres of subtitles he was going to have to make, his "let's not make this video longer" sent me laughing out of this planet! you both have a sense of humour that resonates a lot with me haha sarah, i agree with you 200%. people have asked me if i'll freeze my eggs in case i regret not having children. people feel entitled to answers to all of these invasive questions about reproduction choices because just as much as societies are heteronormative, they're also "parentnormative"... there's also this prejudice that people who don't want children it's because they're selfish or irresponsible or hate kids and humankind... and no. it's just that i understand parenthood as a CHOICE, not an obligation, and that after realizing that it was a choice i made a careful exploration of myself and arrived to the conclusion that my standard of happiness is not defined by motherhood nor is inclusive of it.
Hahah, when that moment of ‘subtitle panic’ hits Kyuho, he shuts things down pretty quick 😂 And SO well put! I would never think it’s acceptable to ask someone who had/wanted kids “Don’t you think you’ll regret it?”…though I’ll likely say it back TO them if they asked me 👀 The “Parentnormative” thing is so dead on. To us, having kids isn’t something you opt OUT of, it’s a choice you opt IN to or not.
Also, there are so many abandoned kids and animals in the world. Why not raising one of them, instead of selfishly insisting on reproducing just to preserve your genes in this world, dragging one more soul to this problematic planet, when your genes would eventually disappear in a few generations anyways? Raising other's kids, including animals, is much more generous than your own.
Trust me, although I am a mom myself, raising kids is a lot of work and I just tell my single younger friends to just stay single or childless. It’s a huge commitment and if you’re not sure, it’s better to not have kids. I wish like someone else said, we could normalize this a lot more and that someone would’ve told me. 😅 The only warning I got from older women was to enjoy my sleep now while I can, and that was it! But I also know that my kids are my whole world and I wouldn’t change that. It’s also equally important to find a helpful partner and a strong support system. If you’re stuck with a bad partner and you have to do all the work, it’s ten times worse, but even if you have somewhat of a helpful partner, it’s still going to be difficult. So it’s what you make of it, and it does get easier, but no woman should feel pressured to have kids when they will have to take on a majority of the childcare AND household chores, while simultaneously working on top of that. It’s just not all it’s cracked up to be. 🤷♀️ (And excuse me if I seem to be ranting, but this is for the younger women out there who are still on the fence or think that they are supposed to marry and pop out kids, to really think carefully and more importantly, rethink your choices in a man/partner because that’s one mistake that’s going to be hard to undo once you have kids together, just speaking from experience).😳
We’ve had friends and relatives say the exact same to us 😅 For such a HUGE commitment that changes every facet of your life, it should be something you think about very, very carefully. Thanks for being so open about your own experience! :)
"Panicked laugh". It is one of the best moments. I appreciate you both and your authenticity so much. Thank you for being honest and I know we only get a snippet of your lives but thank you for inviting us in!!!
you guys are like my friends that i keep in touch with. I do hope you guys dont stop making videos due to hate comments but for your own reasonings. I hope to keep you for a long time.
It may sound a bit silly but I have been seeing you guys 7 years ago since I was in my country and now that I live in Seoul, I sometimes imagine how happy I would be to meet you guys by chance on the street. It would be sad if you leave youtube because your information motivated me a lot and helped me to adapt. It is difficult to find youtubers that show the country in a realistic and mature way.
This video was so sweet 💙 it's so comforting to have people be so real about their perspectives within relationships and from their respective cultures. We need a marriage advice video for sure!
as someone, who used to translate and make subtitles to anime, I appreciate Kyuho putting subtitles in Korean! I know how hard it is to choose the correct words, time, check spelling... and as someone, who is studying Korean, I appreciate it even more!
I would say I'm right on the edge of regretting having our little peanut. She's great, but OMG, so much work. And your life drastically changes. I think once she's a little bit older and is a little more independent, I'll feel a lot better not having to do absolutely everything for her. But I am looking forward to see her grow up and become an accomplished adult one day. I don't blame you guys at all for not wanting kids. Kids are just wild in more ways than one. But yes, that is definitely a topic every couple needs to talk about before getting married. Kids and finances definitely need to be hashed out before tying the knot or it's going to be a bad time.
It’s honestly sooo refreshing how more parents these days are much more open and willing to admit if they feel this way 👏 Becoming a parent basically changes every facet of you life, and some people are just not cut out for that.
waaah you thought quitting 8 times! didn't expect that, I always thought "wow this couple is so strong" even though the channel is still not so big like i was hoping too but I am amazed that your were still here, that you were able to sustain your daily living by being youtubers. I hope someday, something big will come and I am hoping that I can still watch you til you grow old.
Really glad u guys didnt quit youtube! And the work / hours u spend on your videos definitely shows, especially when watching vlogs from other channels. :))
@@2hearts1seoul Just never had many thoughts about it. Could Kyuho do a video about how that condition affects his life? I know he covered some of it here, but it would be a good thing for the public to be aware of. I just never thought of it as a disability until he said it here. Thx in advance.
My son is colorblind, and he was told by a long-time electrician never to go into that field because knowing wire colors is important if you don't want to blow out the equipment / light fixtures, etc or get electrocuted. He was also told being colorblind would not allow him to go into certain other fields, such as becoming a pilot. So the condition can limit a person in a lot of ways.
Hi Sarah! Hi Kyuho! Great great Q&A! It’s been awesome watching you both grow throughout the years. As you’re sitting there answering questions, I’m listening, but I’m also looking at your decor surrounding you both. You have both successfully grown, not only on your YT channel, but also in your beautiful relationship as a married couple, and your home! What you have done to create a comfortable and beautifully decorated home environment for the three of you is beyond amazing. You should be so proud of yourselves! You’ve truly come a long way throughout the years. Thank you for always being upfront and honest with us! Oh, by the way….. you do have a child. Having fur babies is like having children. They just can’t talk back to you. 😂 Seriously, the care and love that you both give to Beemo and your adopted ‘children,’ is awesome to see. Take care! ❤❤
Awww, thank you 🥹❤️ We love our little home-after living in a one-room for 5 years, we still appreciate our current place every day. And yes! Hahah, Beemo is MORE than enough for us, thank you very much 😅
Hello, great AMA. I appreciate your desire for childfree-ness and navigating adulthood. I am childfree, married and cat mum. I had more stories from that choices when I was in my youth as well and they all revolve around society I think you are showing other young people that they can make life choices that allows them to have a life without regret. cheers.
I really respect you for knowing that you may not be fit to be parents and just want to be child free . From where I’m it’s mandatory for couples to have kids people marry just to have kids even if these people mentally and financially are not fit to have kids. It’s frustrating to see so many unloved kids who don’t feel safe just because they were born to unfit parents. Personally I’m 27 and can’t wait to be a mother it’s something that I know I wanted since I can remember however I know how difficult it is and that when I’m choosing my partner I’m not just choosing a partner for me I’m also choosing a father for my kids.
A situation like that is so unfortunate for everyone involved 😔 And fully respect you as well for knowing exactly what you want, and how you’re already thinking of your future kids’ well-being ☺️
Yes~ apparently this is quite new? www.koreatimes.co.kr/www/nation/2023/02/113_307886.html Still, the majority of married couple’s children take the father’s last name in Korea. But it’s really nice there are now more options :)
I'm glad you guys didn't give up on your channel. I'm sorry you guys got a lot of hate starting out. You two are awesome together. Love that Beemo is doing so much better.
Really great (and refreshing) to hear your thoughts on all these questions. You guys seem like very solid, grounded folks! Also, I 100% agree - the "never go to bed angry" rule is the way to go! 😅... 잘 봤습니다 🙏
@2hearts1seoul We mostly have managed that too. Once in awhile there's an issue if someone (me) hogs the best banchan at the dinner table, but that's a very specific situation 🤣
My husband and I had that rule for many years until we realized that sometimes we (I) would be able to be more rational with a good night’s sleep under my belt. SO, we will agree to pick it up the next day, try to decompress on our own and get some sleep, and then talk it out the next day. Often we find it just isn’t as important, and we’re able to make up and just move past it. But then the rule is you both must agree 1) to put it aside for the night, and 2) to definitely resolve it the next day.
Talking about regret of not having or having kids, someone said in the line of: not having a kid and regret, it only affects you and maybe your family (husband and your parents if they expect grandchildren). Having a kid and regretting affects you, the KIDS!!! and husband; even maybe other people because you might start resenting for whatever reasons. Also, you will not be regretting 24/7 all the time so compared to the time span between the two outcomes, I think not having kids will be less time because you won’t be counting the days until your kids turn 18 (assuming western cultures). Nowadays, even in western countries, kids move back home or do not leave. So, my opinion is “you do you” but some people act like not having kids is a foreign concept to them and ask me “what about when you get older?” Okay, my kids are NOT my retirement plan.
Easy to think this way when you are young, wait till the loneliness and regret hit you in your 50’s and older when you are truely alone. What was your life for? Just yourself? As someone who NEVER had the need or urge to have kids but did so when older, I regret not having more children earlier. Also when you look at society in general, how do you think society will be able to give you all the comforts you have when there are no young people to fill the financial needs (via tax and services) to an aging population? People don’t get that a low birth rate will have serious implications for all societies especially western. You don’t know real love until you have children, you only know a selfish version which is about what makes you happy, never the joy of helping someone else grow and find happiness.
@@maemae1752 See, this argument has never made sense to me. Reproducing just so you ‘won’t be lonely’ seems like a pretty selfish and silly reason to have kids. People have their partners, other family members and friends who they can have strong, lifelong bonds with. You don’t need to reproduce to ‘not be lonely’. It’s not even guaranteed that you’ll have a good relationship with your kids. And who says you’re only ‘living for yourself’ if you don’t choose to have kids? Who says you don’t have any other value, or bring value to others? And the ‘you only know the selfish version of love if you don’t have children’ is also such a weird and hostile argument. Everyone experiences love differently-it’s not measurable or quantifiable and is totally subjective. Also, each person has their own definition of what happiness and fulfillment is to them. To you, perhaps it’s your children. To another, perhaps it’s a holiday with their partner, or volunteering at an animal shelter. I find it so weird how some people completely belittle the life choices of others just because their values may differ.
@@2hearts1seoul I’ve lived both versions of life, happy and fulfilled with life in every way and then unexpectedly as a parent. I’d say it’s about fulfilment not ever through what your child gives you or does for your life (children don’t give you fulfilment by doing anything for you 😂) parenthood is the most demanding thing I’ve ever done! So it’s more about the state of selflessness that is required and finding a new level of fulfilment in that state that I never dreamed I could could (or would) chose or even appreciate. Then another level of the same appears as your own parents get older and you see how much they need others and you are glad you can be there for them, more selflessness, the circle of life. Of course we are not all here to live the same lives or experience the same things, there is no right way to do life. I’m just a few decades ahead of you and I can see myself so clearly in you and you would laugh if you knew how similar our lives, which is I guess why I stopped to comment. I wish you every success and joy in your life together, make it a great adventure.
Love the Q&A videos! I to have decided that I do not want kids and I always get the “aren’t you worried you’re going to change your mind and it will be to late?” Maybe, maybe not but I don’t have that urge to become a mom and I’m ok with that 😊
Loved the video. And thank you for answering the question about Beemo... LOL. I'm not sure if that was my wording or not, but I'm sure I asked about him. You two are the best!! (ok, you three... can't forget Beemo)
@@2hearts1seoul How could I not? I recently returned to volunteering with a cat rescue (we lost our lease 5 years ago and it took that long to find a new building [partly thanks to covid] and renovate it... but the new building is beautiful...so much nicer).
I love these little sit down chats~ I could see a few of those points resonating with me also lol. Also happy to hear Beemo is doing much better~ always like getting those updates too ㅋ
Loved the Q&A and update on Beemo, glad you have found a great vet to help him. On the children side of things its good youre honest and can talk about the why's for not having children, and a good point on the regret can be two ways, although Ive never met anyone who has regretted having children and equally never met anyone who regretted not having any. My mum had 4, my brothers 2 each and I have 4 children, on the flip side none of my parents siblings had any children. My eldest daughter is 25 and she is adamant she doesnt want any children for a number of reasons and she is more than happy with her 2 cats lol.
Kyuho the hair cut looks bombass and jawline 🔥 Weird observation but...Your videos are so relaxing to watch compared to other korean sourced videos, cause most people have white light in their houses, but yours is always pleasant and warm.
Completely unrelated but, Tim Horton's just opened up where I live and...oh my god. It's so good. I'm addicted already, wouldn't have tried it without seeing how much you love it from your videos! :D
Your comment about teaching brought up a memory for me. When I was in my twenties, I taught English and SAT prep at a Korean-American academy here in the States. The kids would attend the academies on Saturdays and during the summer. I remember thinking that was a lot of school to attend, but the kids I worked with didn't seem particularly stressed (and they all seemed happy). I liked working with them.
Likely the the U.S they don’t have near the amount of academies available that Korea has. The bare minimum the kids I taught attended was 3. I’ve heard a lot of Korean American kids attend weekend academies-specifically Korean class~
The topic of education in Korean is the same in china too, I’m a foreign but I’m Asian background. I noticed that lots of parents send their children to study other extra curriculum when they finish school and no time to rest at home just straight to study other subjects. I fell bad for my cousin at that time cuz he just 10 years old. He always wish to be back as a baby so he doesn’t need to worry about studies.
I enjoy the time you spent w/ us sharing your thoughts, choices, and life! You both are so natural in your videos that we experience watching, as if you just casually sat down to chat w/ us. I didn’t know it took so much time and work. I love how you make your own preferred lifestyle choices regardless of what society is telling us what we should do. I have always struggled w/ making good decisions for myself hearing what everyone else is telling me to do. I had 1 child b/c that was what I felt I should do. Now I’m taking care of two little grandkids. I care about the kids a lot so I put priority on caring for them. I struggle w/ not being to care for myself and our own life responsibilities throughout the yrs. My husband & I grew up w/ many siblings amongst large extended family. We saw how difficult life is for a family w/ children. If I were to do it again, I would choose not to have a child.
I really don't know how I missed this video. After watching it though, I have so many other questions. How often do you do Q&A's and when is your next one?
3:25 the fact that I knew about all of this after having done plenty of research in the past as a fan of kpop male idols 😅🙈 And that was a nice insight, about the health care system! I've always been really curious about it!! I'd love to hear talk more about it in the future! ^^ As for the family doctor topic: we have that in Italy too. The idea behind it should be to better use resources? 🤔 And that's important for both Italy and Canada because we have universal healthcare, I believe. Though admittedly it doesn't always work as it should. Sometimes I wish we could just go to a specialist without the additional step, but other times the family doctor might be enough to solve your issue. Also they might have a better insight on what kind of specialist a patient needs. This all in theory of course ~
Thanks for talking about regrets of not having children. It’s comforting to know I’m not alone when it comes to this topic. I don’t think my husband and I are going to have kids. I occasionally get the feeling I may regret it, but I’m similar to Sara, where I know my personality. I don’t think I am cut out for it.
I wanted to thank you, once again (lol), for speaking about and helping normalize being childfree by choice in Korea, and in general. Back in 2015 I was living in Seoul for a short time and was dating a Korean man who I cared about a lot. I was told by him that one (of a few) reasons we could never be a serious, long-term couple was because I didn't want to have children and it was his "duty as a Korean" to have children to continue to stimulate the economy. Just my personal experience but it sounded like, at least at that time, it would be nearly impossible for me to considered a serious partner by most Korean men because of my choice to be childfree. I know that in 2020 the Korean government created incentives for people to have children. The low birthrate in the US will probably result in the same thing here eventually. So thanks for continuing to speak about it.
I’m still trying to figure out whether I want children or not. All I know is that when I think about having one in 5 years time I hate it and I get stressed haha 😅 (I’m 26). I also think that it would be financially very hard, and that the future world will only get more stressful and more expensive, etc. don’t know if that’s a world I’d like to raise a kid in. But for some reason, adopting a child sounds less stressful to me, IF I ever want kids. Either way, watching your video was very fun and helpful! Thank you! :)
For me, I always worry about genetics. My close friend has 2 boys. Her 16 year old has ADD, depression, suicidal thoughts and even displays sociopathic behavior. Her 10 year old has Tourette’s syndrome and something weird called obedience defiance disorder (another thing pharma and medical doctors made up to capitalize on). She and her husband look exhausted! I feel like mental illness is something passed down and feel bad for children that have to deal with it. I am 47 and my husband and I decided a long time ago that we didn’t want children. After watching close friends and family raise kids, feel I don’t have it in me to parent and have never had the itch to be a mother. No regrets here. ……great video!
Goshhh, I can’t even imagine how stressful their day to day life must be 😔 That’s the thing-you just never know. At the end of the day, it’s a generic lottery. We feel the exact same way-we just don’t have it in us to be a parent! Glad you hear you and your husband are happy with no regrets 😊
Always love a good QnA. It's been the same for me as for Kyuho's. My life already wasn't shaping up to be that of a parent, but seeing my older sister get 3 kids, it definitely cemented that this wasn't my path. I'm glad my parents could still become grandparents and that I don't have any pressure from anyone. Thanks sista! lol You know what I feel we didn't get for a while? Kyuho's Ugly Kitchen :D
Another great video of you guys! Thank you for the update on Beemo. Also, I love your opinion on rather regretting NOT having kids then the other way around. It's the same for. Personally, the book "Regretting Motherhood" by Orna Donath was very eye-opening to me. I wish more people would be more accepting of some people not wanting kids (not just in Korea).
Yes. In Korea, men who have undergone brain tumor surgery also go to the military. (level 4) As long as he can shoot, he almost has to go to the army. Currently, nearly 90% of men go to the military. Since the birth rate is low, the proportion of men who go to the military will be higher.
That’s so ridiculous. With the birth rate continuing to plummet in Korea, I’m not sure how they can keep this up. Making mandatory service for women could be an option, but then the costs to build the necessary facilities/barracks etc. would be astronomical. There’s no easy fix, that’s for sure.
@@2hearts1seoul A woman will never go to the army. (It can still do it as a professional soldier, but..) It would be a bomb in political. Paradoxically, Korea has the highest absolute women's rights in Asia. (11th in the world undp gii 2020) and one of the countries with the largest number of women's organizations in terms of population. But they are all against conscription for women. Currently, Korea has the worst birth rate and marriage rate. Everyone is talking about women's problem (I mean, it's not bad, but..) Korea is actually a country that seriously exploits men. This problem is impossible to solve. Korea will pay the price. in any way
@@acatinthesnow2294 As a foreign resident, I think if there is going to be a mandatory military service, both men and women should serve, but I know that’s not likely to happen. I think the gender roles placed on both men and women are incredibly unfair. Korea has the worst gender pay gap of all OECD countries, unfortunately. Pregnant women are often viewed as a huge nuisance in the workplace, and despite the laws in place, pregnant women are often pressured to quit their jobs. Basically, women have to choose between having a child, or keeping their career/being financially independent. They’re also expected to take on the vast majority of childcare and domestic work, even if they do continue to work full time. This…doesn’t exactly make giving birth to a child an appealing idea for a woman. I understand why many Korean women are choosing not to give birth.
@@2hearts1seoul I agree with all of your feminist opinions. But what I always find odd is that this topic is always discussed only from a woman's point of view. For example, in Korea, men have higher suicide rates, disaster rates, and working hours than women. The key to the gender pay gap is working hours and job choices. Uber's experiment is also proving this. Also, the wage gap in Korea is largely distorted. If you look closely at their statistics, detailed data on working hours, jobs, work, etc. are insufficient. And as you know, in Korea, night shifts and extra work are done by men with a high probability. The high-income science and engineering sector also has many men. Most dangerous and difficult jobs are done by men. so, men have higher incomes. This has already been confirmed by many media outlets. And there is a male gender role in the cause. Korea's low birth rate also depends on men's economic power. In other words, women decide to marry and give birth by men's economic power. After all, in Korea, both men and women are forced to play gender roles. Most Korean men are discriminated against and oppressed as much as women. However, there are few cases of talking about men's problems.
@@acatinthesnow2294 This topic is usually discussed from a woman’s point of view, likely because women are the ones who give birth. The definition of ‘fertility rate’ is literally: ‘the average number of children that would be born to a woman over her lifetime’. Working hours, types of jobs, and money aside, there are a host of other reasons why Korean women are choosing not to have children at higher rates than men. 48% of Korean men don’t want children, compared to 65% of Korean women. This is a pretty huge difference, yet it’s not surprising. When it comes to having children or not, the concern that comes to men’s mind is ‘money’ and ‘can we afford this?’. For women, there’s that worry as well, but also the burden (and dangers) of pregnancy and childbirth, possible long-term physical injuries from childbirth, being pushed out of their careers, losing their financial independence, being responsible for the vast majority of child rearing and domestic work, loss of social connections, dealing with overbearing in-laws, loss of autonomy, etc. Choosing to have a child or not affects a woman’s life on more levels, and they have more to lose, which is likely why they’re more reluctant than men to want to have a child. I guess Korea should be asking itself “What can we do to create a society where both men and women feel valued, and where both would want to bring a child into the world?” Frankly, I feel like a lot of other countries with low birth rates are also asking themselves this very question.
I always wanted kids but have grown to realize I cannot mentally, or financially support that. More importantly I’ve always had health issues and have accumulated a chronic pain condition that greatly effects my daily life - it would be almost impossible for me to be an effective parent. This is a huge blow to me but also a reality check and even a relief because deep down I should have known I cannot handle the responsibilities.
I've never been to Korea, but I'm a big fan of Korean shows and movies, as well as K-Pop groups. From that exposure, I have heard / seen the honorifics / age hierarchy terminology (i.e. hyung, maknae, noona, -ssi, -nim, oppa, etc.) being used quite often. I think, out of everything I would have to learn if I ever learned the language and/or lived in KOR, that would be the most difficult part to ingrain in my brain and get used to.
Who in the world could ever have hateful thoughts about y’all? I love your channel. I’m an elderly woman who has never regretted being childless. In my thirties, I divorced my husband (who didn’t want them either) and later I married a woman who has kids and it’s sometimes a bit overwhelming. LOVE Y’ALL! ❤️❤️❤️💋
Being a parent means sacrifices and unconditional love. Yes you sacrifice your good night sleep, free time, your whole life revolves around your children and their needs comes first not yours. It’s a beautiful bond between a parent and a child. You receives so much back with happiness, love, fun and laughter. But it is hard work and 24/7 hours. You always worry about your child, even when they’re adults, you want nothing but the best for them. It’s selfless and I agree that it’s not for everyone. It’s unnecessary to look down upon those who chooses to be parents or those who chooses to not be. Respect and understanding goes a long way. I have 3 kids and I love and die for them. I have always wanted to have kids, because I love kids. They’re precious angels bringing light into the home. Anywhere I see a kid my face lifts up because they’re light in this chaotic world. And if I see a kid that’s misbehaving I have so much sympathy and understanding because I have myself kids and know so well how kids can be like for their different ages. It’s fascinating watching your kid growing into an adult. That’s my experience anyway 😊
I’m in Halifax and I got put on a wait list for an allergist in Nov, 2020 after being treated at the hospital for anaphylaxis. I just got the letter with my appointment in April. 2 1/2 years later! Also, the list for people in Nova Scotia waiting for a family doctor is now at 130,000
Watching you every Sunday in 2022, if my memory serves me right I don't remember any vlog like this haha.. Or maybe one? 🤔 I appreciate you more way way better today coz of this vlog, I had fun watching your answers😊😁 thanks so much guysss happy days ahead! Would love to watch you walking around Seoul again.. 😊❤️❤️
Really admire you and wish more people would stand up to society and not have children if that is truly what they want. Not everyone is meant to be a parent. The world would be a much better place if children didn’t grow up neglected or unwanted.
47y/o here. My wife and I chose to not have kids. We had an unplanned pregnancy at 39. We seriously thought about changing plans and becoming parents last minute, but ultimately decided not to. I kept waiting to "regret it" as we get older but our life has never been happier. Things just get better as we age. Its honestly bliss, and 0 regrets. Thanks for being honest about the childfree life and normalizing that choice.
Thank you for watching and for sharing your own story. So glad to hear you and your wife are loving your lives together and living it on your own terms :)
I think the age thing and the respect to be given (even just one year older!) is only specific to koreans among east asians. It might have been important long time ago among Chinese but less so now. I'm an ethnic Chinese I can either call my older sister "sister" in chinese (姐姐）or by her english name since we also have english names.
i was watching a TEDTalk a coup[le years ago about a woman that is childfree and the one statement she said that stuck with me, a person who wants to remain childfree, is "I would rather regret NOT having children, than having them" because so much more emotional hurt can enter relationships when you regret having a living person, but there are always ways to make up for not having children later in life, taking care of nieces/nephews, fostering children, adopting children, even having pets can be similar for some people. I really love when you guys talk about not having children because everyone that im surrounded by wants to have children, so I feel very confident and supported in my decision when i watch your videos
@@2hearts1seoul thank god I never saw the comment section 😮😮😮😮😮
Рік тому
Afortunadamente hay poca gente que se haya arrepentido o por lo menos no se dice, lo que si senti cuando fui madre es como podia haber vivido sin esa experiencia tan hermosa llena de amor y ternura, es la experiencia mas bonita que existe. Aun ahora entiendo más a quien no quiere traer niños al mundo, si es una gran responsabilidad, y pienso que no son la garantia para que te cuiden en la vejez ellos tienen su propia vida. Es la decisión mas importante que existe hay que respetar todas las decisiones.
Lots of annoying red tape in Panama as a foreigner too. And I know it will be the same for foreigners in America so want to acknowledge that. My favorite is the residency card starts with the letter E. While everyone elses starts with a number. Always fun entering my id number when letters are not accepted 🙃🙃.
Our family lived for a few years in a European country and our two boys went to an international school. They both had Korean friends, so we found out then about the stresses that they are under. One friend's mum once threw his cell phone out of the window (of a high-rise!) when he was spending too much time on it instead of studying! (I must admit, I had quite a bit of respect for her after that!!😊)
Sarah, your skin looks so glowing. Very pretty. I miss Kyuho’s Ugly Kitchen. We need more 😁 One thing I dont see in Asian Countries are large families. I know China had a one child minimum for a long time, but is there such a thing in Korea?
Thank youuu 🥹 Korean skincare products, haha. There was never a one child policy in Korea. We can’t speak for any other provinces, but families in Seoul are definitely not a thing. These days IF people have kids at all, it’s usually one. But definitely no more than two.
Enjoyable😀. Thanks for sharing. Hope you three have a very good week. P.S. How are “Monkey” and the recent find of “Pretty Cat” ( don’t remember id you named it😄)
you both have a great relationship. my bf and i aslo don't want kids and have talked about it early on in our relationship. i personally really dislike kids and everything about pregnancy sounds awful.
YAY another Q&A!!! I love your Q&As, always really entertaining and soothing to listen to you guys talk 🥰 also, isnt it easier to solve the regret of not having a kid? you can just try to get pregnant or adopt a child when you’re older and realise you want children. but once you have a child and if you regret it, you cant just throw the child away or get a refund 🤣🤣🤣
Thank you! ☺️ And yeah, there’s always the possibility of fostering, adopting etc. done the road if you ever did regret it. The other way around…there’s kind of a no return policy there 😬
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I love how you frequently talk about being a happy child-free couple. I'm 38 and my husband and I have been married for 12 years. We always knew that never wanted children and we haven't regretted our decision for one second. We're able to travel several times a year, we have plenty of time for each other and our friends, and we're financially stable without having to worry about the costs of raising children. Contrary to popular belief, kids are not the only way to a happy life. Nor are they a guarantee that you will have someone to care for you in old age.
Ugh I feel you so hard on the childfree conversation, I'm completely on the same page! Let's start asking "why do you want children "instead of "why don't you want children" because the reason to bring a whole human into the world should be stronger than "that's just what you do".
YUP 👏
Even though I personally do want children, that's a great way to approach. I want to keep that in mind when navigating "do / don't want children" convos.
규호! 한글 자막 포기하지 않고 계속 넣어주셔서 너무 감사해요ㅠ 덕분에 잘 보고 있고 영어공부도 하고 있답니다
늘 감사했지만 오늘은 표현하고 싶었어요 감사해요♡
I’m 62. No kids. No regrets. I do have a niece who I’m close to I must admit. As I age she has expressed she feels responsible for my aging care, even tho I continually tell her it’s not on her. She and her husband are trying to get pregnant so I do look forward to a Grammy role!
You can say that, but she is family. Especially if you come from a family oriented society it will definitely be on her to take care of you. All I can say is appreciate her help. You are lucky to have her there for you and vice versa.
I’m 42 and child free. No regrets!
Thank you thank you thank you…I’m 50 years old and for as long as I can remember I’ve never wanted kids and am happily married without them. Your explanation about ‘regret’ going both ways on the Kids topic was spot on. By far the best response I’ve ever heard. I still to this day get asked If I “regret “ not having children…it never stops. In the future I will recite your words and have a frank discussion on the topic instead of feeling so pissed off with the question.
I guess it never stops…especially if you’re a woman, I’m guessing 🙃 You do you!
when kyuho was hit by the sudden realisation of the kilometres of subtitles he was going to have to make, his "let's not make this video longer" sent me laughing out of this planet! you both have a sense of humour that resonates a lot with me haha
sarah, i agree with you 200%. people have asked me if i'll freeze my eggs in case i regret not having children. people feel entitled to answers to all of these invasive questions about reproduction choices because just as much as societies are heteronormative, they're also "parentnormative"... there's also this prejudice that people who don't want children it's because they're selfish or irresponsible or hate kids and humankind... and no. it's just that i understand parenthood as a CHOICE, not an obligation, and that after realizing that it was a choice i made a careful exploration of myself and arrived to the conclusion that my standard of happiness is not defined by motherhood nor is inclusive of it.
Hahah, when that moment of ‘subtitle panic’ hits Kyuho, he shuts things down pretty quick 😂
And SO well put! I would never think it’s acceptable to ask someone who had/wanted kids “Don’t you think you’ll regret it?”…though I’ll likely say it back TO them if they asked me 👀 The “Parentnormative” thing is so dead on. To us, having kids isn’t something you opt OUT of, it’s a choice you opt IN to or not.
Also, there are so many abandoned kids and animals in the world. Why not raising one of them, instead of selfishly insisting on reproducing just to preserve your genes in this world, dragging one more soul to this problematic planet, when your genes would eventually disappear in a few generations anyways? Raising other's kids, including animals, is much more generous than your own.
Trust me, although I am a mom myself, raising kids is a lot of work and I just tell my single younger friends to just stay single or childless. It’s a huge commitment and if you’re not sure, it’s better to not have kids. I wish like someone else said, we could normalize this a lot more and that someone would’ve told me. 😅 The only warning I got from older women was to enjoy my sleep now while I can, and that was it! But I also know that my kids are my whole world and I wouldn’t change that. It’s also equally important to find a helpful partner and a strong support system. If you’re stuck with a bad partner and you have to do all the work, it’s ten times worse, but even if you have somewhat of a helpful partner, it’s still going to be difficult. So it’s what you make of it, and it does get easier, but no woman should feel pressured to have kids when they will have to take on a majority of the childcare AND household chores, while simultaneously working on top of that. It’s just not all it’s cracked up to be. 🤷♀️
(And excuse me if I seem to be ranting, but this is for the younger women out there who are still on the fence or think that they are supposed to marry and pop out kids, to really think carefully and more importantly, rethink your choices in a man/partner because that’s one mistake that’s going to be hard to undo once you have kids together, just speaking from experience).😳
We’ve had friends and relatives say the exact same to us 😅 For such a HUGE commitment that changes every facet of your life, it should be something you think about very, very carefully. Thanks for being so open about your own experience! :)
I love how both of you are so clear and certain about things you wnat and that you are on the same page. Love it!
We don't want to be a Hodor 😆😆😆😆, this killed me 😆. But I love how much Kyuho laughs at himself, that's my fav part. Lovely video 💛
Another one of my favorite things about Kyuho is that laugh, hahah
Greetings from Budapest :) Love you guys!
Thanks for watching~ 🥰
"Panicked laugh". It is one of the best moments. I appreciate you both and your authenticity so much. Thank you for being honest and I know we only get a snippet of your lives but thank you for inviting us in!!!
you guys are like my friends that i keep in touch with. I do hope you guys dont stop making videos due to hate comments but for your own reasonings. I hope to keep you for a long time.
It may sound a bit silly but I have been seeing you guys 7 years ago since I was in my country and now that I live in Seoul, I sometimes imagine how happy I would be to meet you guys by chance on the street. It would be sad if you leave youtube because your information motivated me a lot and helped me to adapt. It is difficult to find youtubers that show the country in a realistic and mature way.
Oh wowww, thanks so much for the kind words and for sticking around for all these years 🥹❤️
This video was so sweet 💙 it's so comforting to have people be so real about their perspectives within relationships and from their respective cultures. We need a marriage advice video for sure!
as someone, who used to translate and make subtitles to anime, I appreciate Kyuho putting subtitles in Korean! I know how hard it is to choose the correct words, time, check spelling... and as someone, who is studying Korean, I appreciate it even more!
I would say I'm right on the edge of regretting having our little peanut. She's great, but OMG, so much work. And your life drastically changes. I think once she's a little bit older and is a little more independent, I'll feel a lot better not having to do absolutely everything for her. But I am looking forward to see her grow up and become an accomplished adult one day.
I don't blame you guys at all for not wanting kids. Kids are just wild in more ways than one. But yes, that is definitely a topic every couple needs to talk about before getting married. Kids and finances definitely need to be hashed out before tying the knot or it's going to be a bad time.
It’s honestly sooo refreshing how more parents these days are much more open and willing to admit if they feel this way 👏
Becoming a parent basically changes every facet of you life, and some people are just not cut out for that.
waaah you thought quitting 8 times! didn't expect that, I always thought "wow this couple is so strong" even though the channel is still not so big like i was hoping too but I am amazed that your were still here, that you were able to sustain your daily living by being youtubers. I hope someday, something big will come and I am hoping that I can still watch you til you grow old.
Really glad u guys didnt quit youtube! And the work / hours u spend on your videos definitely shows, especially when watching vlogs from other channels. :))
You both are a dear couple! Love watching your videos! I also decided not to have children and now that I'm 72 years old..I have no regrets!
Awww, thank you so much for the kind words! 🥰
Congrats 100K 🎉
Omg. Color blindness is a bigger issue than just mismatching socks and clothes. That is something new. Thank you for this information.
Ohhh yeah-it can affect quite a bit of your daily life~
@@2hearts1seoul Just never had many thoughts about it. Could Kyuho do a video about how that condition affects his life? I know he covered some of it here, but it would be a good thing for the public to be aware of. I just never thought of it as a disability until he said it here. Thx in advance.
My son is colorblind, and he was told by a long-time electrician never to go into that field because knowing wire colors is important if you don't want to blow out the equipment / light fixtures, etc or get electrocuted. He was also told being colorblind would not allow him to go into certain other fields, such as becoming a pilot.
So the condition can limit a person in a lot of ways.
I love these Q&A videos. You both are so awesome ❤
Hi Sarah! Hi Kyuho! Great great Q&A! It’s been awesome watching you both grow throughout the years. As you’re sitting there answering questions, I’m listening, but I’m also looking at your decor surrounding you both. You have both successfully grown, not only on your YT channel, but also in your beautiful relationship as a married couple, and your home! What you have done to create a comfortable and beautifully decorated home environment for the three of you is beyond amazing. You should be so proud of yourselves! You’ve truly come a long way throughout the years. Thank you for always being upfront and honest with us! Oh, by the way….. you do have a child. Having fur babies is like having children. They just can’t talk back to you. 😂 Seriously, the care and love that you both give to Beemo and your adopted ‘children,’ is awesome to see. Take care! ❤❤
Happy Sunday Mindys, That’s so thoughtful of you, Thanks for your positive review, How are you and how’s the weather over there?
Awww, thank you 🥹❤️ We love our little home-after living in a one-room for 5 years, we still appreciate our current place every day.
And yes! Hahah, Beemo is MORE than enough for us, thank you very much 😅
@@2hearts1seoul It seems to me that Beemo talks back plenty! I know my daughter’s cat sure does!
@@julieobrien4056 He certainly does 😂
@@julieobrien4056 …..🥰❤️🥰
I can tell that you two are soulmates. ❤
you are by far the most in sync loving soulmate couple that I have come across. you are so blessed !
Hi guys, I love your channel! Lovely couple and seem like best friends. Its beautiful.
I cannot watch Kyuho laugh and not laugh myself! I love his laughter its so contagious
Hello, great AMA. I appreciate your desire for childfree-ness and navigating adulthood. I am childfree, married and cat mum. I had more stories from that choices when I was in my youth as well and they all revolve around society I think you are showing other young people that they can make life choices that allows them to have a life without regret. cheers.
I really respect you for knowing that you may not be fit to be parents and just want to be child free . From where I’m it’s mandatory for couples to have kids people marry just to have kids even if these people mentally and financially are not fit to have kids. It’s frustrating to see so many unloved kids who don’t feel safe just because they were born to unfit parents. Personally I’m 27 and can’t wait to be a mother it’s something that I know I wanted since I can remember however I know how difficult it is and that when I’m choosing my partner I’m not just choosing a partner for me I’m also choosing a father for my kids.
A situation like that is so unfortunate for everyone involved 😔
And fully respect you as well for knowing exactly what you want, and how you’re already thinking of your future kids’ well-being ☺️
You can choose to use mother’s family name for the kids in Korea.
Yes~ apparently this is quite new? www.koreatimes.co.kr/www/nation/2023/02/113_307886.html
Still, the majority of married couple’s children take the father’s last name in Korea. But it’s really nice there are now more options :)
I'm glad you guys didn't give up on your channel. I'm sorry you guys got a lot of hate starting out. You two are awesome together. Love that Beemo is doing so much better.
Vitamin Kyuho/Sarah-just what my Sunday mornings require. Thank You!
Awww ☺️
저도 딩크인데 공감하면서 봤어요
정성스런 영상 잘봤습니다🫶🏻
Same for us about not having kids. We enjoy our peace and quiet. Our home is full of valuables and breakable items. Not childproof or child friendly.
Making our place cat friendly is enough for us 😅
Love you guys! Greetings from România
Really great (and refreshing) to hear your thoughts on all these questions. You guys seem like very solid, grounded folks! Also, I 100% agree - the "never go to bed angry" rule is the way to go! 😅... 잘 봤습니다 🙏
Thank you~! Yeah, that’s been a rule for us pretty much since day 1! 😂
@2hearts1seoul We mostly have managed that too. Once in awhile there's an issue if someone (me) hogs the best banchan at the dinner table, but that's a very specific situation 🤣
My husband and I had that rule for many years until we realized that sometimes we (I) would be able to be more rational with a good night’s sleep under my belt. SO, we will agree to pick it up the next day, try to decompress on our own and get some sleep, and then talk it out the next day. Often we find it just isn’t as important, and we’re able to make up and just move past it. But then the rule is you both must agree 1) to put it aside for the night, and 2) to definitely resolve it the next day.
Enjoy it a loooooot.
Lol you guys are so funny, the twist tie and hodor had me cracking uppppp
Talking about regret of not having or having kids, someone said in the line of: not having a kid and regret, it only affects you and maybe your family (husband and your parents if they expect grandchildren). Having a kid and regretting affects you, the KIDS!!! and husband; even maybe other people because you might start resenting for whatever reasons. Also, you will not be regretting 24/7 all the time so compared to the time span between the two outcomes, I think not having kids will be less time because you won’t be counting the days until your kids turn 18 (assuming western cultures). Nowadays, even in western countries, kids move back home or do not leave. So, my opinion is “you do you” but some people act like not having kids is a foreign concept to them and ask me “what about when you get older?” Okay, my kids are NOT my retirement plan.
The “what about when you get older?” question always baffles me 😶 I would never have kids for a retirement plan, yikes.
Absolutely agree! We'll said.. you do you!
Easy to think this way when you are young, wait till the loneliness and regret hit you in your 50’s and older when you are truely alone. What was your life for? Just yourself? As someone who NEVER had the need or urge to have kids but did so when older, I regret not having more children earlier.
Also when you look at society in general, how do you think society will be able to give you all the comforts you have when there are no young people to fill the financial needs (via tax and services) to an aging population? People don’t get that a low birth rate will have serious implications for all societies especially western. You don’t know real love until you have children, you only know a selfish version which is about what makes you happy, never the joy of helping someone else grow and find happiness.
@@maemae1752 See, this argument has never made sense to me. Reproducing just so you ‘won’t be lonely’ seems like a pretty selfish and silly reason to have kids. People have their partners, other family members and friends who they can have strong, lifelong bonds with. You don’t need to reproduce to ‘not be lonely’. It’s not even guaranteed that you’ll have a good relationship with your kids. And who says you’re only ‘living for yourself’ if you don’t choose to have kids? Who says you don’t have any other value, or bring value to others?
And the ‘you only know the selfish version of love if you don’t have children’ is also such a weird and hostile argument. Everyone experiences love differently-it’s not measurable or quantifiable and is totally subjective. Also, each person has their own definition of what happiness and fulfillment is to them. To you, perhaps it’s your children. To another, perhaps it’s a holiday with their partner, or volunteering at an animal shelter. I find it so weird how some people completely belittle the life choices of others just because their values may differ.
@@2hearts1seoul I’ve lived both versions of life, happy and fulfilled with life in every way and then unexpectedly as a parent. I’d say it’s about fulfilment not ever through what your child gives you or does for your life (children don’t give you fulfilment by doing anything for you 😂) parenthood is the most demanding thing I’ve ever done! So it’s more about the state of selflessness that is required and finding a new level of fulfilment in that state that I never dreamed I could could (or would) chose or even appreciate.
Then another level of the same appears as your own parents get older and you see how much they need others and you are glad you can be there for them, more selflessness, the circle of life.
Of course we are not all here to live the same lives or experience the same things, there is no right way to do life. I’m just a few decades ahead of you and I can see myself so clearly in you and you would laugh if you knew how similar our lives, which is I guess why I stopped to comment.
I wish you every success and joy in your life together, make it a great adventure.
Love the Q&A videos! I to have decided that I do not want kids and I always get the “aren’t you worried you’re going to change your mind and it will be to late?” Maybe, maybe not but I don’t have that urge to become a mom and I’m ok with that 😊
Yuppp 😄 Next time I’m going to start saying ‘Aren’t YOU worried you’re going to change YOUR mind?’ back 😂
Loved the video. And thank you for answering the question about Beemo... LOL. I'm not sure if that was my wording or not, but I'm sure I asked about him. You two are the best!! (ok, you three... can't forget Beemo)
Awww, so many people asked about him-thanks for worrying about our little dude ☺️
@@2hearts1seoul How could I not? I recently returned to volunteering with a cat rescue (we lost our lease 5 years ago and it took that long to find a new building [partly thanks to covid] and renovate it... but the new building is beautiful...so much nicer).
I love these little sit down chats~ I could see a few of those points resonating with me also lol. Also happy to hear Beemo is doing much better~ always like getting those updates too ㅋ
넘 재밌게 봤어요….✨✨✨✨✨✨❤
Loved the Q&A and update on Beemo, glad you have found a great vet to help him. On the children side of things its good youre honest and can talk about the why's for not having children, and a good point on the regret can be two ways, although Ive never met anyone who has regretted having children and equally never met anyone who regretted not having any. My mum had 4, my brothers 2 each and I have 4 children, on the flip side none of my parents siblings had any children. My eldest daughter is 25 and she is adamant she doesnt want any children for a number of reasons and she is more than happy with her 2 cats lol.
Kyuho the hair cut looks bombass and jawline 🔥
Weird observation but...Your videos are so relaxing to watch compared to other korean sourced videos, cause most people have white light in their houses, but yours is always pleasant and warm.
소박한 경제적 개념을 가지고 있는 커플이네요. 항상 잘 되기를 바라는 커플입니다.
I love being childfree, I d not change it and no regrets!!
Completely unrelated but, Tim Horton's just opened up where I live and...oh my god. It's so good. I'm addicted already, wouldn't have tried it without seeing how much you love it from your videos! :D
SO jealousssss! I want one of their blueberry muffins right now so damn bad 🥲
Awesome Q&A!! 😁
Your comment about teaching brought up a memory for me. When I was in my twenties, I taught English and SAT prep at a Korean-American academy here in the States. The kids would attend the academies on Saturdays and during the summer. I remember thinking that was a lot of school to attend, but the kids I worked with didn't seem particularly stressed (and they all seemed happy). I liked working with them.
Likely the the U.S they don’t have near the amount of academies available that Korea has. The bare minimum the kids I taught attended was 3. I’ve heard a lot of Korean American kids attend weekend academies-specifically Korean class~
I am with you on having no kids of my own. I made sure that my husband (was my bf then) is on the same page before we continue to date. 😀
Kyuho's face when he realized that he has to make the subtitles for the video cracked me up!!! Could feel his pain through the screen...😂🤣
The topic of education in Korean is the same in china too, I’m a foreign but I’m Asian background. I noticed that lots of parents send their children to study other extra curriculum when they finish school and no time to rest at home just straight to study other subjects. I fell bad for my cousin at that time cuz he just 10 years old. He always wish to be back as a baby so he doesn’t need to worry about studies.
I enjoy the time you spent w/ us sharing your thoughts, choices, and life! You both are so natural in your videos that we experience watching, as if you just casually sat down to chat w/ us. I didn’t know it took so much time and work. I love how you make your own preferred lifestyle choices regardless of what society is telling us what we should do. I have always struggled w/ making good decisions for myself hearing what everyone else is telling me to do. I had 1 child b/c that was what I felt I should do. Now I’m taking care of two little grandkids. I care about the kids a lot so I put priority on caring for them. I struggle w/ not being to care for myself and our own life responsibilities throughout the yrs. My husband & I grew up w/ many siblings amongst large extended family. We saw how difficult life is for a family w/ children. If I were to do it again, I would choose not to have a child.
I really don't know how I missed this video. After watching it though, I have so many other questions. How often do you do Q&A's and when is your next one?
3:25 the fact that I knew about all of this after having done plenty of research in the past as a fan of kpop male idols 😅🙈
And that was a nice insight, about the health care system! I've always been really curious about it!!
I'd love to hear talk more about it in the future! ^^
As for the family doctor topic: we have that in Italy too. The idea behind it should be to better use resources? 🤔
And that's important for both Italy and Canada because we have universal healthcare, I believe.
Though admittedly it doesn't always work as it should.
Sometimes I wish we could just go to a specialist without the additional step, but other times the family doctor might be enough to solve your issue.
Also they might have a better insight on what kind of specialist a patient needs.
This all in theory of course ~
Thanks for talking about regrets of not having children. It’s comforting to know I’m not alone when it comes to this topic. I don’t think my husband and I are going to have kids. I occasionally get the feeling I may regret it, but I’m similar to Sara, where I know my personality. I don’t think I am cut out for it.
I wanted to thank you, once again (lol), for speaking about and helping normalize being childfree by choice in Korea, and in general. Back in 2015 I was living in Seoul for a short time and was dating a Korean man who I cared about a lot. I was told by him that one (of a few) reasons we could never be a serious, long-term couple was because I didn't want to have children and it was his "duty as a Korean" to have children to continue to stimulate the economy. Just my personal experience but it sounded like, at least at that time, it would be nearly impossible for me to considered a serious partner by most Korean men because of my choice to be childfree. I know that in 2020 the Korean government created incentives for people to have children. The low birthrate in the US will probably result in the same thing here eventually. So thanks for continuing to speak about it.
“His duty as a Korean to have children to stimulate the economy.” Yikes 🚩🚩🚩 Glad you dodged that bullet 😳
I’m still trying to figure out whether I want children or not. All I know is that when I think about having one in 5 years time I hate it and I get stressed haha 😅 (I’m 26). I also think that it would be financially very hard, and that the future world will only get more stressful and more expensive, etc. don’t know if that’s a world I’d like to raise a kid in. But for some reason, adopting a child sounds less stressful to me, IF I ever want kids.
Either way, watching your video was very fun and helpful! Thank you! :)
Greetings from Mexico City ❤
For me, I always worry about genetics. My close friend has 2 boys. Her 16 year old has ADD, depression, suicidal thoughts and even displays sociopathic behavior. Her 10 year old has Tourette’s syndrome and something weird called obedience defiance disorder (another thing pharma and medical doctors made up to capitalize on). She and her husband look exhausted! I feel like mental illness is something passed down and feel bad for children that have to deal with it.
I am 47 and my husband and I decided a long time ago that we didn’t want children. After watching close friends and family raise kids, feel I don’t have it in me to parent and have never had the itch to be a mother. No regrets here. ……great video!
Goshhh, I can’t even imagine how stressful their day to day life must be 😔 That’s the thing-you just never know. At the end of the day, it’s a generic lottery.
We feel the exact same way-we just don’t have it in us to be a parent! Glad you hear you and your husband are happy with no regrets 😊
Amazing video. Love the Q & A .
Always love a good QnA.
It's been the same for me as for Kyuho's. My life already wasn't shaping up to be that of a parent, but seeing my older sister get 3 kids, it definitely cemented that this wasn't my path. I'm glad my parents could still become grandparents and that I don't have any pressure from anyone. Thanks sista! lol
You know what I feel we didn't get for a while? Kyuho's Ugly Kitchen :D
Hahaha, we feel the same way-we’re grateful to Kyuho’s sister 😂
There was a big article in the newspaper in my town about people that regretted having kids.
Yup. Been seeing a lot more of those lately~
Another great video of you guys! Thank you for the update on Beemo. Also, I love your opinion on rather regretting NOT having kids then the other way around. It's the same for. Personally, the book "Regretting Motherhood" by Orna Donath was very eye-opening to me. I wish more people would be more accepting of some people not wanting kids (not just in Korea).
I keep hearing about this book everywhere but haven’t read it 📚👀
Thank you for another Q&A! It is so enjoyable 🙂
Yes. In Korea, men who have undergone brain tumor surgery also go to the military. (level 4) As long as he can shoot, he almost has to go to the army. Currently, nearly 90% of men go to the military. Since the birth rate is low, the proportion of men who go to the military will be higher.
That’s so ridiculous. With the birth rate continuing to plummet in Korea, I’m not sure how they can keep this up. Making mandatory service for women could be an option, but then the costs to build the necessary facilities/barracks etc. would be astronomical. There’s no easy fix, that’s for sure.
@@2hearts1seoul A woman will never go to the army. (It can still do it as a professional soldier, but..) It would be a bomb in political. Paradoxically, Korea has the highest absolute women's rights in Asia. (11th in the world undp gii 2020) and one of the countries with the largest number of women's organizations in terms of population. But they are all against conscription for women.
Currently, Korea has the worst birth rate and marriage rate. Everyone is talking about women's problem (I mean, it's not bad, but..) Korea is actually a country that seriously exploits men. This problem is impossible to solve. Korea will pay the price. in any way
@@acatinthesnow2294 As a foreign resident, I think if there is going to be a mandatory military service, both men and women should serve, but I know that’s not likely to happen.
I think the gender roles placed on both men and women are incredibly unfair.
Korea has the worst gender pay gap of all OECD countries, unfortunately. Pregnant women are often viewed as a huge nuisance in the workplace, and despite the laws in place, pregnant women are often pressured to quit their jobs. Basically, women have to choose between having a child, or keeping their career/being financially independent. They’re also expected to take on the vast majority of childcare and domestic work, even if they do continue to work full time. This…doesn’t exactly make giving birth to a child an appealing idea for a woman. I understand why many Korean women are choosing not to give birth.
@@2hearts1seoul I agree with all of your feminist opinions. But what I always find odd is that this topic is always discussed only from a woman's point of view. For example, in Korea, men have higher suicide rates, disaster rates, and working hours than women. The key to the gender pay gap is working hours and job choices. Uber's experiment is also proving this. Also, the wage gap in Korea is largely distorted. If you look closely at their statistics, detailed data on working hours, jobs, work, etc. are insufficient. And as you know, in Korea, night shifts and extra work are done by men with a high probability. The high-income science and engineering sector also has many men. Most dangerous and difficult jobs are done by men. so, men have higher incomes. This has already been confirmed by many media outlets.
And there is a male gender role in the cause. Korea's low birth rate also depends on men's economic power. In other words, women decide to marry and give birth by men's economic power. After all, in Korea, both men and women are forced to play gender roles. Most Korean men are discriminated against and oppressed as much as women. However, there are few cases of talking about men's problems.
@@acatinthesnow2294 This topic is usually discussed from a woman’s point of view, likely because women are the ones who give birth. The definition of ‘fertility rate’ is literally: ‘the average number of children that would be born to a woman over her lifetime’.
Working hours, types of jobs, and money aside, there are a host of other reasons why Korean women are choosing not to have children at higher rates than men. 48% of Korean men don’t want children, compared to 65% of Korean women. This is a pretty huge difference, yet it’s not surprising. When it comes to having children or not, the concern that comes to men’s mind is ‘money’ and ‘can we afford this?’. For women, there’s that worry as well, but also the burden (and dangers) of pregnancy and childbirth, possible long-term physical injuries from childbirth, being pushed out of their careers, losing their financial independence, being responsible for the vast majority of child rearing and domestic work, loss of social connections, dealing with overbearing in-laws, loss of autonomy, etc. Choosing to have a child or not affects a woman’s life on more levels, and they have more to lose, which is likely why they’re more reluctant than men to want to have a child.
I guess Korea should be asking itself “What can we do to create a society where both men and women feel valued, and where both would want to bring a child into the world?” Frankly, I feel like a lot of other countries with low birth rates are also asking themselves this very question.
You two are such a lovely couple. Love your vlogs❤.
Toothbrush 👅funny one!!!!
Interesting these vids!!!👍🏻
I always wanted kids but have grown to realize I cannot mentally, or financially support that. More importantly I’ve always had health issues and have accumulated a chronic pain condition that greatly effects my daily life - it would be almost impossible for me to be an effective parent. This is a huge blow to me but also a reality check and even a relief because deep down I should have known I cannot handle the responsibilities.
So informative ❤ i definitely had a blast 😂🎉 thank you for taking the time and always produce content for us.
I've never been to Korea, but I'm a big fan of Korean shows and movies, as well as K-Pop groups. From that exposure, I have heard / seen the honorifics / age hierarchy terminology (i.e. hyung, maknae, noona, -ssi, -nim, oppa, etc.) being used quite often.
I think, out of everything I would have to learn if I ever learned the language and/or lived in KOR, that would be the most difficult part to ingrain in my brain and get used to.
Who in the world could ever have hateful thoughts about y’all? I love your channel. I’m an elderly woman who has never regretted being childless. In my thirties, I divorced my husband (who didn’t want them either) and later I married a woman who has kids and it’s sometimes a bit overwhelming. LOVE Y’ALL! ❤️❤️❤️💋
Being a parent means sacrifices and unconditional love. Yes you sacrifice your good night sleep, free time, your whole life revolves around your children and their needs comes first not yours. It’s a beautiful bond between a parent and a child. You receives so much back with happiness, love, fun and laughter. But it is hard work and 24/7 hours. You always worry about your child, even when they’re adults, you want nothing but the best for them. It’s selfless and I agree that it’s not for everyone. It’s unnecessary to look down upon those who chooses to be parents or those who chooses to not be. Respect and understanding goes a long way. I have 3 kids and I love and die for them. I have always wanted to have kids, because I love kids. They’re precious angels bringing light into the home. Anywhere I see a kid my face lifts up because they’re light in this chaotic world. And if I see a kid that’s misbehaving I have so much sympathy and understanding because I have myself kids and know so well how kids can be like for their different ages. It’s fascinating watching your kid growing into an adult. That’s my experience anyway 😊
Hi guys! Love the video. ❤
Thank you~!
I’m in Halifax and I got put on a wait list for an allergist in Nov, 2020 after being treated at the hospital for anaphylaxis. I just got the letter with my appointment in April. 2 1/2 years later!
Also, the list for people in Nova Scotia waiting for a family doctor is now at 130,000
INSANE. My family and friends keep me updated with how ridiculous the health care system is there now 😔
Watching you every Sunday in 2022, if my memory serves me right I don't remember any vlog like this haha.. Or maybe one? 🤔 I appreciate you more way way better today coz of this vlog, I had fun watching your answers😊😁 thanks so much guysss happy days ahead! Would love to watch you walking around Seoul again.. 😊❤️❤️
Awww, thank you! We usually do a Q&A video once a year-we have several older ones we’ve done 😊
Sarah Lee reminds me of the Sara Lee dessert company in the US! You could start a competitor brand in Korea! lol
한글자막 항상 감사합니다! 오늘도 재밌게 봤어요
❤ 선댓글좋아요😊
😍
Really admire you and wish more people would stand up to society and not have children if that is truly what they want. Not everyone is meant to be a parent. The world would be a much better place if children didn’t grow up neglected or unwanted.
Hey ! I'm in love with your cups ! Do you mind telling where you bought it please ? Thanks for this week's video :)
At Winners a few years ago when we were in Canada for the summer! 🐈
@@2hearts1seoul Oh that's a shame :( They were the perfect size to drink tea... Thank you for your answer !
@@camillearnoux8961 Yeah, they were such a random find! 🐈
47y/o here. My wife and I chose to not have kids.
We had an unplanned pregnancy at 39. We seriously thought about changing plans and becoming parents last minute, but ultimately decided not to.
I kept waiting to "regret it" as we get older but our life has never been happier. Things just get better as we age. Its honestly bliss, and 0 regrets.
Thanks for being honest about the childfree life and normalizing that choice.
Thank you for watching and for sharing your own story. So glad to hear you and your wife are loving your lives together and living it on your own terms :)
I think the age thing and the respect to be given (even just one year older!) is only specific to koreans among east asians. It might have been important long time ago among Chinese but less so now. I'm an ethnic Chinese I can either call my older sister "sister" in chinese (姐姐）or by her english name since we also have english names.
It’s kinnnnd of in Japan too, but not as ‘strong’ as Korea, imo.
ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ귀여운커플이에요
i was watching a TEDTalk a coup[le years ago about a woman that is childfree and the one statement she said that stuck with me, a person who wants to remain childfree, is "I would rather regret NOT having children, than having them" because so much more emotional hurt can enter relationships when you regret having a living person, but there are always ways to make up for not having children later in life, taking care of nieces/nephews, fostering children, adopting children, even having pets can be similar for some people. I really love when you guys talk about not having children because everyone that im surrounded by wants to have children, so I feel very confident and supported in my decision when i watch your videos
haha i typed this out before sarah finished her sentence to say the exact same thing 😅😅😅😅😅
Ohhh! I think I may have seen this TedTalk a long time ago! Such an important topic. But sadly, the comment section disgusted me :(
@@2hearts1seoul thank god I never saw the comment section 😮😮😮😮😮
Afortunadamente hay poca gente que se haya arrepentido o por lo menos no se dice, lo que si senti cuando fui madre es como podia haber vivido sin esa experiencia tan hermosa llena de amor y ternura, es la experiencia mas bonita que existe. Aun ahora entiendo más a quien no quiere traer niños al mundo, si es una gran responsabilidad, y pienso que no son la garantia para que te cuiden en la vejez ellos tienen su propia vida. Es la decisión mas importante que existe hay que respetar todas las decisiones.
Lots of annoying red tape in Panama as a foreigner too. And I know it will be the same for foreigners in America so want to acknowledge that. My favorite is the residency card starts with the letter E. While everyone elses starts with a number. Always fun entering my id number when letters are not accepted 🙃🙃.
😂😂the tooth brush thing is hilarious
Where did you get your calendar? I really love it!
The artist @seoiforest on Instagram! ☺️
Our family lived for a few years in a European country and our two boys went to an international school. They both had Korean friends, so we found out then about the stresses that they are under. One friend's mum once threw his cell phone out of the window (of a high-rise!) when he was spending too much time on it instead of studying! (I must admit, I had quite a bit of respect for her after that!!😊)
Yikessss 😳
Sarah, your skin looks so glowing. Very pretty. I miss Kyuho’s Ugly Kitchen. We need more 😁 One thing I dont see in Asian Countries are large families. I know China had a one child minimum for a long time, but is there such a thing in Korea?
Thank youuu 🥹 Korean skincare products, haha.
There was never a one child policy in Korea.
We can’t speak for any other provinces, but families in Seoul are definitely not a thing. These days IF people have kids at all, it’s usually one. But definitely no more than two.
Enjoyable😀. Thanks for sharing. Hope you three have a very good week. P.S. How are “Monkey” and the recent find of “Pretty Cat” ( don’t remember id you named it😄)
They’re all doing well ☺️
Could be due to the shortages of specialists doctors in North America. There would be months long waits to see a specialist.
I'm so surprised that you guys got hate comments
Children best part of life, children bring life and happiness in families and world.
*for you
you both have a great relationship. my bf and i aslo don't want kids and have talked about it early on in our relationship. i personally really dislike kids and everything about pregnancy sounds awful.
I always look forward to your weekly videos! 🥰really wish you guys get loads more subscribers 🥺 manifesting a 1 million subs party 🥺✊💕🎉
Awww, thank you 🥹❤️
YAY another Q&A!!! I love your Q&As, always really entertaining and soothing to listen to you guys talk 🥰
also, isnt it easier to solve the regret of not having a kid? you can just try to get pregnant or adopt a child when you’re older and realise you want children. but once you have a child and if you regret it, you cant just throw the child away or get a refund 🤣🤣🤣
Thank you! ☺️
And yeah, there’s always the possibility of fostering, adopting etc. done the road if you ever did regret it. The other way around…there’s kind of a no return policy there 😬