@@peghilliard4244i Agree. We are a small band of ukulele players. We visit care homes and day centres here in the Uk. We play and sing the old songs and the residents love it. You see the twinkle in their eyes and the smiles reach from ear to ear. Its wonderful. ❤
It sure is!! Sometimes it can be an agitated reaction or lots of anger and that can be especially hard. You give such good reactions for others to learn from ❤️
It’s tough and I can’t imagine how frustrated and confused he is. You are doing a great job. Imagine being 92 and thinking your parents are alive. This is a cruel disease.
My mom took care of her 90 year old aunt. She never was married or had children. And at 91 she started calling out to her mommy. And crying. It was so sad. And my mom was a nurse and she did so well with her
I’m a Nurse & Caregiver for over 35yrs to patients with Dementia & Alzheimer’s & it’s very important to just redirect when you’re dealing with an issue like this. There’s NO WAY to “reason” with this disease. Their mind is compromised & they PHYSICALLY CANNOT UNDERSTAND the words that you’re saying to them. I’ve had to do things that don’t make sense to the normal mind to redirect them to get over their obstinance, like when they start wanting to go “home”, in THEIR mind, they are back when they were younger. I’ve had to get them in the car & drive around for usually 30 minutes or so & then drive back “home” & they are SO GRATEFUL that you’ve “helped” them. They don’t comprehend that their parents & other family members are passed on. You have to just reassure them that they’re ok & not home right now. Nothing makes sense to OUR NORMAL mind. Keep doing a great job, Dan!
EXACTLY! CNA here reality orientation has been proven in the 80s to not work. You’re agitating him more. You need to go to his world. Make things up, redirect. Engage him in past interests such as music from his era, tinkering with cars etc. tell him his parents are at work and he can visit them when they get home. Or they are on vacation etc.
Been through this with my husband. He is gone now. Very difficult to relive this through your video. I took care of him for 6 years. His last year he was in assisted living and life care. Luckily, he remembered me to the end. However the confusion they have is hard for them to deal with. He is free from his sickness now. I miss him daily. It's almost 2 years since his passing. Bless you for all you do for your dad.
Hello Dan, I've been watching your channel for a good while now and I've never commented here before. Today I felt compelled to leave a comment. Dan, I was in the healthcare field for about 11 years as an army medic and clinical technician. I have dealt with, interacted with and cared for many patients in one aspect or another. In all that time I've never come across a caretaker as devoted and effectual as you are. Your situational awareness and ability to remain calm under that kind of emotional strain is truly something to behold. What you demonstrated here with your father by tracking where your fathers triggers are, staying on point and talking him through the bind by offering a timeline is nothing short of spectacular. Your interaction with Ed is so fluid it reads like a screenplay. You know where to stand, when to take cues what triggers to look for and how to avoid them. You gracefully guided Ed from a scary place to a more comfortable one. I can feel the love you have for your Dad through the screen on my phone. Well done my friend because that is what it means to be human and we all should take notice to better our lives and the people we interact with.
You did a better job of expressing praise than I could have. I had similar conversations with my dad and it's not easy. They need to have a point of memory that they can identify with so that they can get a handle on where they are today. Making sure they know they are safe and well taken care of is very important for them. Great job!
That "Thank you, Dan" at the end is all I need to hear to know you did your job. You calmed him down and eased his mind, and he is expressing that. You did as good as you could've Dan ❤
❤❤❤ Yes 🖐🏻 💯 I agree 👍🏻😍 I ❤ seeing Pops n Dan 😀😊😅, although 💔 to 👀 Pops 😔 worried about his parents n Feeling Lost 😭❣️... Dan Does take Good 👍🏻 Care of Him, I cared for a Lady in her 60"s n Cried 😢 for her Daddy Every evening after her husband went home 🏡 to eat dinner 🍽️ After feeding her, n get some sleep 🥱😴 ❣️ It hurts My ❤💔 to sit with Her Till she went to 😴 herself 😭 n he'd be 🔙 in the morning 🌞 this was Every Day 👍🏻💯❣️... My Dad had 😢 spells at night 😉💭 when he'd get tired 😩 🥱❣️... It's So 💔😞😢 Sad 💯😭, I wish I could help them ln have time with my dad n my Mom But, It Be Greedy 😔 to want to keep them Here 😩😢❣️.,..
I’ve been home health aide a CNA for over 40 yrs. You handled that better than a lot of people I know keep up the good work and thank you for keeping your father home with you as long as possible
@cmaldonado3389 thank you for the job you do! People like you are far under-appreciated. I take care of my momma 24/7. So I get what you do, and it’s not easy. 🙏❤️🤗🙏
@@RoniShawnme, too 😞😔🙏🏼💖 and God bless you, too ❤ I have been doing the same for mumma off and on for 12-13 years now, and we just unexpectedly painfully lost my daddy & it’s all I can do to keep living for my mom…..
@@ChalNjurshEp oh my goodness darling. I’m so sorry! Sending you prayers, love, hugs and condolences 🙏🤗❤️💐🙏. Yes it’s very tough. And you’ve been at this nearly 13 years! A long time! I’ve been at it 5 in November.
When he starts Saying he has "seen" his mom and dad and any other siblings that have passed. This could be the time they are coming to help Ed back home.
@@I-AM-Awsome-Toothat is what I was thinking. I have heard it is common they speak of going home or need to go somewhere. My mother-in-law kept circling the kitchen island in her wheelchair because she said she needed to go somewhere but wasn't sure how to get there. She didn't want to go to the bathroom, food, or bed. The next day she was bedridden and died a week later. My grandfather kept saying his brother that had died decades earlier was there to get him and take him home.
❤❤❤ Yes 👍🏻 Agree 💯❣️... So Sad 😢 to 🚫 know 1 Minute to the Next, n miss his parents n 🚫 understand you've lived n married n had children n Retired from being in podiatry for all Those years n 🚫 remember anything but names n your parents 😢😮💔😭❣️
Please don't doubt yourself, Daniel. You brought your dad's emotions from frantic to "when is dinner?" in about five minutes. It was a masterclass in dealing with sundowning. Ed is in excellent hands with yourself, Danielle, and Mark.
Dan, thanks for taking such good care of your Dad. My neighbor had dementia and sometimes he would get out of the house without his wife knowing. I would see him walking down the street “to go home to Texas.” I would get my car and ask him if he needed a ride. He would get in and we would drive around the block and then go “home.” He was always so happy to be home. You and your wife are such a blessing to your dad. God bless you! 🙏🏻
Hi, D., I've been away from ur channel for a while...you and ur wife are amazing, caring, loving, caregivers for ur dad...everybody isn't meant to be a care-giver...❤
@@rebeccayoung-xz8qf He has every right to film and post him. He’s an inspiration to all of us. I once was in a similar situation. Watching the video brings me comfort, as to other people as well. If you don’t like it, you don’t have to watch it. Also, when did you become God?
@@dsalnorcal1434have you tried giving your dad. more meat, eggs and all keto diet? Or mushrooms to help brain regrow his cells? Lionmane is top supplement for dementia
@@AlexOmelyayunkNo disrespect meant here but looking at the protest obsessed young who are all victims of 1 thing or another, with the sidewalk tent cities and open dru g markets etc etc I sometimes think hes got the best of both worlds , in his mind hes reliving his younger years wuth long passed loved ones whilst in reality hes being cared for by those that obviously love him so much .
he's thinking about his parents and how they're old (in his mind) and how he wants to take care of them 😢 Grandpa has such a kind soul and heart. God please have mercy on these good people ❤
I have experience working with people with Alzheimer's and the Best way to deal with them is to go with their reality at first and as they calm down then do the explaining!! You did great!! God Bless you for your Love and Kindness to your Dad!❤
I think you did a great job! He didn't seem scared at all once you started speaking to him. I couldn't imagine having to watch my Dad struggle like this. You did an outstanding job. Your pop raised a good man!!
That was my favorite part ❤ He felt relieved. I believe Dan’s way of repetitious daily conversations brings familiarity to grandpas mind, and therefore brings him peace.
You did a great job, don't let anyone tell you differently. At least you know about your dad's life and the history behind it so you could talk him back. Some people don't have that. But you did great. My mom is 83 and my brother and I worry about this with her. But when the time comes and I get that call, I'll be there for her. Praying for your dad, you and family.
Amazing how you informed him that his parents are gone - without saying it bluntly - you let him figure it out…Your dad is one of the few lucky ones who are with family at this stage and this age - not alone in a “facility care”… Blessings and strength to you -אמן 🙌
The best approach I found when dealing with my Dad"s dementia was to pretty much agree to what he said and tell him his relatives would be coming soon to visit or we would visit them. These thoughts are only retained for seconds anyway so pretty much forgotten as they are spoken. I became quite adept at dodging his questions but in the moment it calmed him down. I found it best not to overload with reality and information - it was overwhelming to him but "playing the game" worked the best.
@@AzDesertFoxx I too experienced this way of coping with my dad ,he was in another country but I managed to see him once a month and he would ask me about things that happened years ago but to him they were in his reality now , eventually he stopped asking questions ❤️
Please stop trying to reality orient him! Stop !!!!! When he says he can't find his keys tell him they are in his room. HE Won't remember!!!!!!!!!!! Read about his disease, talk to people who work with these patients! You are wearing yourself out!!!!!!!!!!!!
I totally agree with you. Trying to more or less force a person with dementia to accept reality is not the best approach. Go with the flow as much as possible , because most of the time the person won’t remember any of it anyway. Gentle distractions sometimes work as well, or better, than long explanations. All you can do is try. Dan has used this strategy to help his Dad many times and it seems to work. I know Dan would do whatever he can to help.
Your an amazing son! The patience you showed while listening and giving him reassurance, security, confirmation and love was very respectful and sweet. Don’t forget to take care of yourself as well. It’s heartbreaking to watch a parent especially a dad of strength be so vulnerable. He is very blessed to have you. You did a GREAT job!!!
God bless you my brother, you & your wife are so Awesome for “watching” over your Great Dad. He is such a kind soul, he raised you perfectly. 👏🏼❤️✌️🌎👏🏼🤗⭐️😎
Hi Dan, I work in a Nursing Home and I see and engage with this on a daily basis as well as personally. You managed to diffuse what could've been a negative situation. Keep doing what you are doing!❤
I love your compassion and courage to create a dialogue with your dad. My husband went thru the same condition and I too kept him home. I told him some truths and some fictions. Im proud of you and your approach to communicate . What ever youre doing , its definitely working for both of you. Youre both very brave men. God be with you
Awww.... Grandpa made me 😢 at the end when he so lovingly said "Thank you Dan" ❤ Dan, I really appreciate you shaing these videos...both the good and not so good. You are an Awesome son! 💯🙏
No one should judge you for how you take care of your father, until someone walks in your shoes for one day and see what you the son goes through on a daily basic there should be only positive comments , there is days that will be great but in those few seconds they go back to their childhood and get confused , you and your family are doing amazing taking care of your dad , he reminds me of my grandpa , he has moments where he has me laughing and then there's times where I cry, . Your father is blessed to have a son as loving as you are . May God give you strength to continue to be strong for your father .
That, “thank you, Dan” was so beautiful to hear. You could hear the ease take over as the conversation progressed. If I am ever dealt that deck of cards in life I could only hope and pray that my children would as loving and caring!❤️
I am 80 yrs. old now & live with my youngest daughter, and am so blessed to have my family who cares about me. I watch everything you post and see that Ed is so blessed , too, and just wanted to tell you that you and your family do such a good job taking care of Ed. There are good people out there in this world that take wonderful care of family. And I applaud you for it. Great fun watching you all, Ed makes me smile ! Big hugs !
I think this is why it is important to take care of your loved ones if you are able. Strangers cannot bring up memories to help remind them,and calm them down. It is so very difficult and frustrating for you at times and everyone should appreciate your patience. Hang in there as long as you can❤
Yes, it’s the best option but it’s extremely difficult with Alzheimer’s. I know my grandma got packed up every morning for six months in her Alzheimer’s unit, ready to go home because she didn’t know what she was doing there. Then she latched on to a man who resembled Grandpa, and I had never seen her smile so big in her life, it was so girl-like. She hadn’t been a particularly happy wife and mother, she apparently had bigger ambitions, so I hope she had some kind of happiness at that time.
Me to ,even though I have siblings who I'm still close to.But I fly solo and have been since 2005. Into the home straight on the pension ladder 3,4 year's away. Presently I'm trying to think of something to do so I don't wither on the Vine. I'm in fairly good nic for my age and past life decisions. One of the enemies, procrastination. Trying to feel enthusiastic about what's ahead is difficult. The mind barriers get overblown and we get stuck in the negativity. Have a good day everyone ✌️☘️
Well it's a bit different for him you guys, he literally has timelines missing in his head that's scary. & To have to relive the fact you're learning all over again that your parents passed away. Got to be tougher than just being a caring person. I see your point, but I don't think we ourselves know how it feels unless we're in his shoes.
I thank you so much for sharing , Im also caring for my uncle, who is going through the same thing, sometimes the exact same situations and conversations .God Bless you for the Love you have for your dad.
Hello from New Zealand guys. Every time I watch Ed he gives me a smile. His good-natured acceptance of circumstances shows he's one in a million. All the best!
Such a cruel disease long story short I was employed as a cook for an elderly priest ( I am not religious) but needed a job , I accepted the job only to find out that he had Alzheimer’s. Again long story short I soon realised that the job entailed much more than just cooking 😅. I ended up staying for 4 years . I became extremely close to Father Dan and was with him until the end . I also ended up as his caregiver ( not just a cook ) I see so many similarities with your dad like the rubbing of his eyebrows, they are trying to make sense of a very confused state of mind . The dipping in and out of reality and of course the constant reminding. I was with him the day he passed and even though those 4 years were tough I consider it a privilege to have looked after him . He called me his atheist Angel , and I get that in his lucid moments he would confide in me , in his non lucid moments it was a struggle. There are many funny and strange stories I could tell ( most I wouldn’t) but one was he had a very old and very smelly dog called Heinze , Father Dan had to attend Mass at our local nunnery every day , this one particular day Heinze had escaped and I know had to deal with a very distraught Priest and an escaped dog , we found the dog on his way to very busy road . Couldn’t take the dog home because that would have made Father Dan late for Mass ( huge conundrum) . Father Dans Angel came up with the only solution and that was to use Father Dans belt of his rain mack and use it as a lead for the dog and that my friends is how the Priest , the dog and the atheist arrived at church that morning 😂
Dan, I love how you LOVE your dad!! You owe no explanation about how you take care of him! You are amazing and a wonderful loving son. Keep going and thank you so much for sharing with us all❤
Pops you are safe, you are loved, you are blessed. Thank you Dan for sharing your Dad's story with us. You and Danielle are beautiful people. You did a great job explaining everything to your dad 💜
My father went thru this. It ALWAYS helped, when he went thru this, to ask him to tell me stories of the distant past (ones hes told a 1000 times) it soothed him and got his mind off things. Another very powerful thing that help was music from his time. He loved it!! NEVER, NEVER, NEVER underestimate how horrible they are feeling during anxiety attacks, which are different than this. They CANNOT control them, they arent the cause of them and they should always be treated quickly with whatever the doctor has perscribed for them. These attacks are the most dibilitating things on planet earth. (In my opinion)Treat them as such, PLEASE!!
you done a great job reminding him of familiar times and places to ground him during a confusing moment for him. Pay no attention to the know it all's Dan.
I am utterly terrified that I may suffer this when I reach such an age, and if I do, I hope I will have such a loving and caring family to keep me safe and reassure me.
My grandfather had dementia, he lived right next door to me. One time I had to go through this exact same thing. He was trying to leave and said “he was going home” and that his parents would be worried about him. He had lived in the same home for over 60 years, and his parents had been dead for many many years. I was able to calm him and he came back to reality. You did great IMO
No one should be judging how you take care of YOUR dad. Unless you have lived through the heartbreak of your mom or dad having Alzheimer's, no one is qualified to tell you what works with your parent. It's hell and heartache sometimes for days and nights at a time. But, there is also moments of joy that you hang on to that gives you strength to keep them happy and comfortable and feeling safe. We were lucky with mom, the last two years of her life she was happy and peaceful and well, mom. I miss her so much. I'd do it all again if I could. 😢❤ May your life be blessed for taking such good care of your dad.
I cared for my father for five year's until he passes away from complications of Dementia. I would never judge you Dan or anybody eles who cares for their loved one's. I would like to tell you that the Constant Reaaurance you give to your Dad is exactly what he needs. I admire you for all you do for your Dad and for bringing awareness to this disease on a daily basis. God bless.🙏❤
My mom goes through this with my grandma every day. God bless you for having your dad in your home still. That is a very difficult thing. Much love to you all.
He always remembers mealtime! You remained very calm and reassuring, and you kept him calm. This is normal even with no dementia. We remember things from years ago, but forget where we left our reading glasses 15 minutes ago. I know it is hard not to get frustrated, but you both do such a great job remaining calm and reassuring him 😊
“What time is dinner?” That’s the perfect sign you’ve done a great job right there 😀 - Ed’s such a brave and caring man. I can see exactly where you get it from Dan. Bless you all!
What a hard conversation to have with pop.i was a hairdresser in a retirement community. I witnessed a lot of changes in people . The onset of living away from loved ones. They always are going home. After13 years of this at the end they usually are bedridden and I saw with my own 👀 eyes, them go to a fetal position before they pass. God willing they are calling home sooner than that. Dan you are amazing son to go through this day in and day out.. remember to take your wife and get away some weekends. For your rest and sanity. God bless 😇😇😇
No judgement my friend! The best statement I heard right off the start....your dad knew that you were his son.... wow, what a gift! It's precious moments no matter how much makes "sense". ❤
Fantastic job, Dan. Never once did I hear anything but kindness and patience in your voice, even though he talked about the same thing over and over again. I'm sorry Dan this cannot be easy.
You’re a Great son. You calmly explain things to him over and over understandably. Wish I had a daughter or son to help me out when I need it! Thanks for being there for pops
I miss my dad. He used to go through these sundowning moments too until he became non verbal. By which I mean he had the ability to talk he just didn't anymore and that was closer to the end of his life. I appreciate you and your wife making these videos because they are of service to those that are experiencing the same issues with their loved ones as well as opening the eyes of those that don't have to deal with these health issues. You are all very blessed. Thank you for doing these videos.
Dan it is okay to allow him to think he is going home tomorrow. It will quite him down, you are wearing yourself out. Allow him remember. He is not going to remember what you are saying. Allow him to think then you can divert him to a different subject. You are a wonderful son. God bless you.
I disagree but only because Dan is able to calm him down by telling him the truth. I think everyone should be given the dignity of being told the truth until the point that lying is the only thing that calms him down. I would do the extra bit of work to tell him the truth
@@christopherwilliams7905 it’s called compassionate lying- no need for the person who is suffering from dementia to re-live the experience of being told a loved one is deceased over & over because they are experiencing hearing that information as if it were the first time being told that, only they are grieving again over & over, each & every time.
It,s like playing a game did so with my mom , it really helped her to know I was there and would go talk to those who were harming animals . Of course there wasn’t any thing going on but in her mind it was .
Good job, Ed. I could hear a little frustration in your voice when you talk to your Dad (totally understandable) but it wasn't bad. What a super good idea to take him through the timeline of his life and to repeat that he was home and safe. Repetition is a necessity. It must be awful for people with dementia; so scary for them because they can't hold onto normal information that would allay worry and fear. You are a very good son.
This made me cry. I’m 90 & fortunate to not have dementia. Getting old is difficult tho. Thankfully Ed has family to help him. You do a good job. ❤
90 wow God bless you. ❤🙏
This made me cry too.
Take care❤
Well bless the Lord ❤❤❤
I read a saying somewhere that said, “getting old is not for the weak”
@@elizadawne3896 Some of us may be weak though.
“I’m your son, I love you, you’re safe”. 😭😭😭. What a wonderful family!🩷❤️🧡💛💚🩵💙💜
Good job. Playing music from his favorite time can also be calming to his nervous system. ❤
What a Love Bug! 🪲
@@peghilliard4244i Agree. We are a small band of ukulele players. We visit care homes and day centres here in the Uk. We play and sing the old songs and the residents love it. You see the twinkle in their eyes and the smiles reach from ear to ear. Its wonderful. ❤
Such beautiful words from Dan
He's very gentle even though he gets confused. That is a blessing in itself.
It sure is!! Sometimes it can be an agitated reaction or lots of anger and that can be especially hard. You give such good reactions for others to learn from ❤️
Truly ❤
YES. MY GRANDFATHER WOULD GET VERY ANGRY
@@bigbongo1736 caps lock button is sticking, huh
This old gentleman is so lucky to have such good children. God bless!
I love the way you handle your dad.Everytime I see your Dad...I feel so much warmth .He is such a great Dad.
I know what you're going through I'm going through the same thing with my ex-husband of 50 years
It’s tough and I can’t imagine how frustrated and confused he is. You are doing a great job. Imagine being 92 and thinking your parents are alive. This is a cruel disease.
The cruelest 💯💯💯
Good job Dan ❤
My mom took care of her 90 year old aunt. She never was married or had children. And at 91 she started calling out to her mommy. And crying. It was so sad. And my mom was a nurse and she did so well with her
It's even sadder that Dan has to repeatedly inform him that his younger brother is deceased.
@@cjhoward409😢
I’m a Nurse & Caregiver for over 35yrs to patients with Dementia & Alzheimer’s & it’s very important to just redirect when you’re dealing with an issue like this. There’s NO WAY to “reason” with this disease. Their mind is compromised & they PHYSICALLY CANNOT UNDERSTAND the words that you’re saying to them. I’ve had to do things that don’t make sense to the normal mind to redirect them to get over their obstinance, like when they start wanting to go “home”, in THEIR mind, they are back when they were younger. I’ve had to get them in the car & drive around for usually 30 minutes or so & then drive back “home” & they are SO GRATEFUL that you’ve “helped” them. They don’t comprehend that their parents & other family members are passed on. You have to just reassure them that they’re ok & not home right now. Nothing makes sense to OUR NORMAL mind. Keep doing a great job, Dan!
Poor Dad is going to fizzle out. No need to reorient in these moments.
EXACTLY! CNA here reality orientation has been proven in the 80s to not work. You’re agitating him more. You need to go to his world. Make things up, redirect. Engage him in past interests such as music from his era, tinkering with cars etc. tell him his parents are at work and he can visit them when they get home. Or they are on vacation etc.
@@Loriburnettoh. I need to learn more about this. Can this help for Delirium?
@@Freshpraise777 this really sucks yeah! 👍
@@Loriburnettand is that proven to work or be ok were they are not more confused ?
"Do you have any more questions?" "What time is dinner." Hilarious.
😅😂❤
Ed never forgets his grumbling tummy.
That made me chuckle - back to normality!
God bless this sweet man. You have been a very dutyful son to your dad., Dan❤
@@mysteriousplankton exactly, it made me laugh so loud. I love him so much
Been through this with my husband. He is gone now. Very difficult to relive this through your video. I took care of him for 6 years. His last year he was in assisted living and life care. Luckily, he remembered me to the end. However the confusion they have is hard for them to deal with. He is free from his sickness now. I miss him daily. It's almost 2 years since his passing. Bless you for all you do for your dad.
Bless you too, your husband was lucky to have you to care for him.❤
8:00 Dan you could see Ed’s breathing slow as you talked …Extremely well done💜💜💜💜
He’s so polite no matter what happens, what a great guy.
"Thank you, Dan."😢 I think you really comforted him.
I agree. I know this has to be difficult for him and you, but I really take comfort from your tone and patience.
And he did not forget his name 😢 “Thank you Dan”❤
Your Dad is an angel. My mom is 81 and now she is our baby. She is like a little child. We enjoy her as You enjoy your Dad.
Hello Dan,
I've been watching your channel for a good while now and I've never commented here before. Today I felt compelled to leave a comment. Dan, I was in the healthcare field for about 11 years as an army medic and clinical technician. I have dealt with, interacted with and cared for many patients in one aspect or another. In all that time I've never come across a caretaker as devoted and effectual as you are. Your situational awareness and ability to remain calm under that kind of emotional strain is truly something to behold. What you demonstrated here with your father by tracking where your fathers triggers are, staying on point and talking him through the bind by offering a timeline is nothing short of spectacular. Your interaction with Ed is so fluid it reads like a screenplay. You know where to stand, when to take cues what triggers to look for and how to avoid them. You gracefully guided Ed from a scary place to a more comfortable one. I can feel the love you have for your Dad through the screen on my phone. Well done my friend because that is what it means to be human and we all should take notice to better our lives and the people we interact with.
THIS!! Spot on. Good job, Dan. You're a pro at this. Big hugs via the ethers to you, Pops & Danielle🍷🍹🍸 cheers
I don't think what you said could be said any better. WOW!!! 🙏 Blessings!
And Danielle... she gets stuck with doing lots for her father in law too. They need to make sure their marriage doesn't suffer.
You did a better job of expressing praise than I could have. I had similar conversations with my dad and it's not easy. They need to have a point of memory that they can identify with so that they can get a handle on where they are today. Making sure they know they are safe and well taken care of is very important for them. Great job!
👆 YES
That "Thank you, Dan" at the end is all I need to hear to know you did your job. You calmed him down and eased his mind, and he is expressing that. You did as good as you could've Dan ❤
❤❤❤❤ Yes 🙌🏻❤️🙌🏻❣️., This is my words of Comfort n Peace knowing Dan is doing a Awesome 👍🏻 job 😁 taking Care of Pops 🏡❤❤❤💯❣️
🙏
That part.
just typing the same thing. He is so lucky to have his family!
❤️⭐️🙏🏼
Growing old isn’t easy for anyone. This is pure ❤! Your Dad is blessed.
That's for certain. It's not for sissies.
Whoever said it is a cruel disease, said a mouth full! I hate it. My mother had it
Dan and Danielle, you both take wonderful care of Grandpa, and may God bless you both for everything you do. You are wonderful folks!
Love you 2!! Very difficult but you are so patient! He is good 😊...love yous so much! Thanks 😊
❤❤❤ Yes 🖐🏻 💯 I agree 👍🏻😍 I ❤ seeing Pops n Dan 😀😊😅, although 💔 to 👀 Pops 😔 worried about his parents n Feeling Lost 😭❣️... Dan Does take Good 👍🏻 Care of Him, I cared for a Lady in her 60"s n Cried 😢 for her Daddy Every evening after her husband went home 🏡 to eat dinner 🍽️ After feeding her, n get some sleep 🥱😴 ❣️ It hurts My ❤💔 to sit with Her Till she went to 😴 herself 😭 n he'd be 🔙 in the morning 🌞 this was Every Day 👍🏻💯❣️... My Dad had 😢 spells at night 😉💭 when he'd get tired 😩 🥱❣️... It's So 💔😞😢 Sad 💯😭, I wish I could help them ln have time with my dad n my Mom But, It Be Greedy 😔 to want to keep them Here 😩😢❣️.,..
May God bless them richly 🙏🏼
They are sweet angels 😇 here on earth!!
@@Lola-ip6yi Hi Lola
I’ve been home health aide a CNA for over 40 yrs. You handled that better than a lot of people I know keep up the good work and thank you for keeping your father home with you as long as possible
@cmaldonado3389 thank you for the job you do! People like you are far under-appreciated. I take care of my momma 24/7. So I get what you do, and it’s not easy. 🙏❤️🤗🙏
@@RoniShawnme, too 😞😔🙏🏼💖 and God bless you, too ❤ I have been doing the same for mumma off and on for 12-13 years now, and we just unexpectedly painfully lost my daddy & it’s all I can do to keep living for my mom…..
@@ChalNjurshEp oh my goodness darling. I’m so sorry! Sending you prayers, love, hugs and condolences 🙏🤗❤️💐🙏. Yes it’s very tough. And you’ve been at this nearly 13 years! A long time! I’ve been at it 5 in November.
That’s why they have such a bad reputation.
A lot of dementia or alzheimer patients talk about "going home." It breaks my heart! You are amazing Dan!
When he starts Saying he has "seen" his mom and dad and any other siblings that have passed. This could be the time they are coming to help Ed back home.
Yes , my thoughts exactly
I think "going home" could be their childhood home or their heavenly home, either one being a good thing in their mind. ❤
@@I-AM-Awsome-Toothat is what I was thinking. I have heard it is common they speak of going home or need to go somewhere. My mother-in-law kept circling the kitchen island in her wheelchair because she said she needed to go somewhere but wasn't sure how to get there. She didn't want to go to the bathroom, food, or bed. The next day she was bedridden and died a week later. My grandfather kept saying his brother that had died decades earlier was there to get him and take him home.
You are so right-I’ve seen that so many times ❤
You're doing an awesome job with your Dad, Dan. Keep doing what you're doing. God bless you and your Dad.
You did a great job Dan bringing your father back around to a state of calm and reason.
Bless his kind heart ❤️ wanted to see his parents. I am sure he was the kindest person and still is……😀😍
❤❤❤ Yes 👍🏻 Agree 💯❣️... So Sad 😢 to 🚫 know 1 Minute to the Next, n miss his parents n 🚫 understand you've lived n married n had children n Retired from being in podiatry for all Those years n 🚫 remember anything but names n your parents 😢😮💔😭❣️
@@KenIvywood❤❤❤ yes 💯 agree 👍🏻 it 💔😢❣️
Dan, you did an EXCELLENT job calming down your father. Peace and blessing to you and your family!
Please don't doubt yourself, Daniel. You brought your dad's emotions from frantic to "when is dinner?" in about five minutes. It was a masterclass in dealing with sundowning. Ed is in excellent hands with yourself, Danielle, and Mark.
Awe the “thank you Dan” brought tear to my eye ❤
Dan, thanks for taking such good care of your Dad. My neighbor had dementia and sometimes he would get out of the house without his wife knowing. I would see him walking down the street “to go home to Texas.” I would get my car and ask him if he needed a ride. He would get in and we would drive around the block and then go “home.” He was always so happy to be home. You and your wife are such a blessing to your dad. God bless you! 🙏🏻
That was so kind of you to go the extra mile for your neighbor!!
Hi, D., I've been away from ur channel for a while...you and ur wife are amazing, caring, loving, caregivers for ur dad...everybody isn't meant to be a care-giver...❤
He has NO right to film and post him. Ridiculous
@@rebeccayoung-xz8qf
He has every right to film and post him. He’s an inspiration to all of us. I once was in a similar situation. Watching the video brings me comfort, as to other people as well. If you don’t like it, you don’t have to watch it. Also, when did you become God?
@MsBoEagle I don't have to be God to know that this is wrong. These people are not qualified teachers. The man's dignity is worth more than that.
You are a good son to your Father. We should all be so lucky to have Family like yours.❤
Dan, you did amazing , poor Pop was having a bad spell , but we can tell he felt calmer after you talked to him x Hugs you all xxx
Dan, you’re doing amazing with Ed . The explanation and words of comfort are everything for him ! God Bless
As a daughter who took care of both parents and a nurse you did a great job 👍🏾💯
Dan, you handled your Dads confusion with love ❤️ and understanding. Your Dad is so blessed to have you and Danielle.
❤️💜 thanks for the words
He's a rare gem😊
@@dsalnorcal1434have you tried giving your dad. more meat, eggs and all keto diet? Or mushrooms to help brain regrow his cells? Lionmane is top supplement for dementia
@@dsalnorcal1434read this study on keto diet pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/31996078/
@@AlexOmelyayunkNo disrespect meant here but looking at the protest obsessed young who are all victims of 1 thing or another, with the sidewalk tent cities and open dru g markets etc etc I sometimes think hes got the best of both worlds , in his mind hes reliving his younger years wuth long passed loved ones whilst in reality hes being cared for by those that obviously love him so much .
he's thinking about his parents and how they're old (in his mind) and how he wants to take care of them 😢
Grandpa has such a kind soul and heart.
God please have mercy on these good people ❤
I have experience working with people with Alzheimer's and the Best way to deal with them is to go with their reality at first and as they calm down then do the explaining!! You did great!! God Bless you for your Love and Kindness to your Dad!❤
I think you did a great job! He didn't seem scared at all once you started speaking to him. I couldn't imagine having to watch my Dad struggle like this. You did an outstanding job. Your pop raised a good man!!
What a tender moment, “ Thank you Dan” , it brings tears to see when a parent truly appreciates their child
your Dad loves his family so much❤️🌞
That was my favorite part ❤ He felt relieved. I believe Dan’s way of repetitious daily conversations brings familiarity to grandpas mind, and therefore brings him peace.
You are such a kind Son! You're Father taught you well!❤
Amazing conversation, excellent job of explaining every detail to him. Nobody knows until they walk a mile in your shoes.
You did a great job, don't let anyone tell you differently. At least you know about your dad's life and the history behind it so you could talk him back. Some people don't have that. But you did great. My mom is 83 and my brother and I worry about this with her. But when the time comes and I get that call, I'll be there for her. Praying for your dad, you and family.
You do so well at redirecting and ensuring safety. I wish half of my patients' families on the memory care unit did as well.
Show them Dan’s videos. It’s a master class in comforting the Alzheimer’s patient.
He should have be place under your care nurse! 😊
@@MetsterAnn😊
I literally laughed out loud in delight feeling so peaceful that grandpa Ed is back when he asked 'what time is dinner?' . It made me soo happy
His favorite question! ❤
Same here lol
Amazing how you informed him that his parents are gone - without saying it bluntly - you let him figure it out…Your dad is one of the few lucky ones who are with family at this stage and this age - not alone in a “facility care”… Blessings and strength to you -אמן 🙌
Good job Dan. I’m a nurse and was told to not negate anything and go along with what they are saying so as not to argue. You are doing great!!
The best approach I found when dealing with my Dad"s dementia was to pretty much agree to what he said and tell him his relatives would be coming soon to visit or we would visit them. These thoughts are only retained for seconds anyway so pretty much forgotten as they are spoken. I became quite adept at dodging his questions but in the moment it calmed him down. I found it best not to overload with reality and information - it was overwhelming to him but "playing the game" worked the best.
Agreed. That's the best way. Trying to MAKE them live in reality isn't good for any of them. Go with their flow is the best policy.
@@AzDesertFoxx I too experienced this way of coping with my dad ,he was in another country but I managed to see him once a month and he would ask me about things that happened years ago but to him they were in his reality now , eventually he stopped asking questions ❤️
Going to try that. Thank you!
Please stop trying to reality orient him! Stop !!!!! When he says he can't find his keys tell him they are in his room. HE Won't remember!!!!!!!!!!! Read about his disease, talk to people who work with these patients! You are wearing yourself out!!!!!!!!!!!!
I totally agree with you. Trying to more or less force a person with dementia to accept reality is not the best approach. Go with the flow as much as possible , because most of the time the person won’t remember any of it anyway. Gentle distractions sometimes work as well, or better, than long explanations. All you can do is try. Dan has used this strategy to help his Dad many times and it seems to work. I know Dan would do whatever he can to help.
Your an amazing son! The patience you showed while listening and giving him reassurance, security, confirmation and love was very respectful and sweet. Don’t forget to take care of yourself as well. It’s heartbreaking to watch a parent especially a dad of strength be so vulnerable. He is very blessed to have you. You did a GREAT job!!!
God bless you my brother, you & your wife are so Awesome for “watching” over your Great Dad. He is such a kind soul, he raised you perfectly. 👏🏼❤️✌️🌎👏🏼🤗⭐️😎
What wonderful men you both are. So uplifting watching these videos of love crossing through several generations in your family. Keep the faith!
Hi Dan,
I work in a Nursing Home and I see and engage with this on a daily basis as well as personally.
You managed to diffuse what could've been a negative situation. Keep doing what you are doing!❤
Those golden years aren’t always golden:-(. You do an exceptional job taking care of your Dad♥️.
@@marlenemanion9776 I don’t think they should be called Golden Years! They’re more like lead!
TRUE STORY 😢💔❣️
The last thing Ed said in this video was "Thank you, Dan". That shows how well Dan does to sooth him and take away his anxieties, etc.
Ed is so clueless 😂😂😂
I love your compassion and courage to create a dialogue with your dad. My husband went thru the same condition and I too kept him home. I told him some truths and some fictions. Im proud of you and your approach to communicate . What ever youre doing , its definitely working for both of you. Youre both very brave men. God be with you
The challenges you both share on this difficult journey together, will turn into eternal rewards and you both win
Keep on loving.
Awww.... Grandpa made me 😢 at the end when he so lovingly said "Thank you Dan" ❤
Dan, I really appreciate you shaing these videos...both the good and not so good. You are an Awesome son! 💯🙏
No one should judge you for how you take care of your father, until someone walks in your shoes for one day and see what you the son goes through on a daily basic there should be only positive comments , there is days that will be great but in those few seconds they go back to their childhood and get confused , you and your family are doing amazing taking care of your dad , he reminds me of my grandpa , he has moments where he has me laughing and then there's times where I cry, . Your father is blessed to have a son as loving as you are . May God give you strength to continue to be strong for your father .
👍👏👏👏👏👏
That, “thank you, Dan” was so beautiful to hear. You could hear the ease take over as the conversation progressed. If I am ever dealt that deck of cards in life I could only hope and pray that my children would as loving and caring!❤️
you are amazing Dan - you make this situation very easy and not so scary for others who are facing this and will be facing this one day. thank you
I am 80 yrs. old now & live with my youngest daughter, and am so blessed to have my family who cares about me. I watch everything you post and see that Ed is so blessed , too, and just wanted to tell you that you and your family do such a good job taking care of Ed. There are good people out there in this world that take wonderful care of family. And I applaud you for it. Great fun watching you all, Ed makes me smile ! Big hugs !
Thanks for sharing. This comment made my night. Solidarity bump with your daughter 🤛. ❤️❤️❤️
You’re his rock. It’s good he has access to you in times like this. To just help him settle and remain calm.
I love Dad! And Dan you did fantastic! Love how he doesn't forget to Thank you Dan❤❤
U did a great job. Thank you for sharing your families journey 😊
I think this is why it is important to take care of your loved ones if you are able. Strangers cannot bring up memories to help remind them,and calm them down. It is so very difficult and frustrating for you at times and everyone should appreciate your patience. Hang in there as long as you can❤
🙏
So true Sherry. Bless you.❤
Yes, it’s the best option but it’s extremely difficult with Alzheimer’s. I know my grandma got packed up every morning for six months in her Alzheimer’s unit, ready to go home because she didn’t know what she was doing there. Then she latched on to a man who resembled Grandpa, and I had never seen her smile so big in her life, it was so girl-like. She hadn’t been a particularly happy wife and mother, she apparently had bigger ambitions, so I hope she had some kind of happiness at that time.
🎯💯
Grandpa is and always has been a very responsible man and I can understand how he feels because I don't depend on anyone but myself.
Me to ,even though I have siblings who I'm still close to.But I fly solo and have been since 2005. Into the home straight on the pension ladder 3,4 year's away. Presently I'm trying to think of something to do so I don't wither on the Vine. I'm in fairly good nic for my age and past life decisions. One of the enemies, procrastination. Trying to feel enthusiastic about what's ahead is difficult. The mind barriers get overblown and we get stuck in the negativity. Have a good day everyone ✌️☘️
Well it's a bit different for him you guys, he literally has timelines missing in his head that's scary. & To have to relive the fact you're learning all over again that your parents passed away. Got to be tougher than just being a caring person. I see your point, but I don't think we ourselves know how it feels unless we're in his shoes.
@@mytruthmylife8725🩶🩷🩵
@@mytruthmylife8725🩵🩶🩷 re-living that horror that your parents passed on
I look after my 90 year old step dad. It’s hard but rewarding. You’re doing a great job Dan and Danielle.
You and your 90 year old -step- dad are blessed.
I thank you so much for sharing , Im also caring for my uncle, who is going through the same thing, sometimes the exact same situations and conversations .God Bless you for the Love you have for your dad.
Hello from New Zealand guys. Every time I watch Ed he gives me a smile. His good-natured acceptance of circumstances shows he's one in a million. All the best!
Such a cruel disease long story short I was employed as a cook for an elderly priest ( I am not religious) but needed a job , I accepted the job only to find out that he had Alzheimer’s. Again long story short I soon realised that the job entailed much more than just cooking 😅. I ended up staying for 4 years . I became extremely close to Father Dan and was with him until the end . I also ended up as his caregiver ( not just a cook )
I see so many similarities with your dad like the rubbing of his eyebrows, they are trying to make sense of a very confused state of mind .
The dipping in and out of reality and of course the constant reminding.
I was with him the day he passed and even though those 4 years were tough I consider it a privilege to have looked after him . He called me his atheist Angel , and I get that in his lucid moments he would confide in me , in his non lucid moments it was a struggle.
There are many funny and strange stories I could tell ( most I wouldn’t) but one was he had a very old and very smelly dog called Heinze , Father Dan had to attend Mass at our local nunnery every day , this one particular day Heinze had escaped and I know had to deal with a very distraught Priest and an escaped dog , we found the dog on his way to very busy road . Couldn’t take the dog home because that would have made Father Dan late for Mass ( huge conundrum) . Father Dans Angel came up with the only solution and that was to use Father Dans belt of his rain mack and use it as a lead for the dog and that my friends is how the Priest , the dog and the atheist arrived at church that morning 😂
Hahahaha yes. I understand this so well. I do this for a living for 20yrs now,and oooo the stories, some very funny and most quite sad.
My father would cry because he wanted his mother it was heartbreaking to watch 😢
😭😭😭😭😭
@@sos9020try keto pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/31996078/
I could just hug him!! And you for your love and patience!
Thank you so much.
You’re doing a wonderful job Dan! Thank you Dan for educating us on this terrible disease that Grandpa Ed is living with. Bless you and your family ❤
Dan, I love how you LOVE your dad!! You owe no explanation about how you take care of him! You are amazing and a wonderful loving son. Keep going and thank you so much for sharing with us all❤
Pops you are safe, you are loved, you are blessed. Thank you Dan for sharing your Dad's story with us. You and Danielle are beautiful people. You did a great job explaining everything to your dad 💜
💜💜💜
Dan u did great w/ helping grandpa Ed…..u made it clear to him he is safe & he seems to truly feel that❤
My father went thru this. It ALWAYS helped, when he went thru this, to ask him to tell me stories of the distant past (ones hes told a 1000 times) it soothed him and got his mind off things. Another very powerful thing that help was music from his time. He loved it!! NEVER, NEVER, NEVER underestimate how horrible they are feeling during anxiety attacks, which are different than this. They CANNOT control them, they arent the cause of them and they should always be treated quickly with whatever the doctor has perscribed for them. These attacks are the most dibilitating things on planet earth. (In my opinion)Treat them as such, PLEASE!!
I'm so sorry. It's a cruel disease, but you did a great job with your Dad. I can't imagine a more difficult task emotionally.
Pop is precious. You can tell Pop was always a kind and caring man. Bless his heart. Always thankful for any kindness shown to him.
How special it is seeing the love of a son!! Thanks Dan and Daniel!
Fantastic job. You redirected his thoughts and got him to focus, and finally his only concern was when dinner was going to be served. Kudos!
Tough but mostly beautiful to watch. He's such a kind soul to care about his own parents getting older (in his mind.)
Awww, great job comforting your dad Dan ❤️
you done a great job reminding him of familiar times and places to ground him during a confusing moment for him. Pay no attention to the know it all's Dan.
I am utterly terrified that I may suffer this when I reach such an age, and if I do, I hope I will have such a loving and caring family to keep me safe and reassure me.
Dan you are a saint. ❤ nothing but love for you and Danielle
I love how he is relieved and looks better, sending my kudos for how well it turned out.
My grandfather had dementia, he lived right next door to me. One time I had to go through this exact same thing. He was trying to leave and said “he was going home” and that his parents would be worried about him. He had lived in the same home for over 60 years, and his parents had been dead for many many years. I was able to calm him and he came back to reality. You did great IMO
No one should be judging how you take care of YOUR dad. Unless you have lived through the heartbreak of your mom or dad having Alzheimer's, no one is qualified to tell you what works with your parent. It's hell and heartache sometimes for days and nights at a time. But, there is also moments of joy that you hang on to that gives you strength to keep them happy and comfortable and feeling safe. We were lucky with mom, the last two years of her life she was happy and peaceful and well, mom. I miss her so much. I'd do it all again if I could. 😢❤
May your life be blessed for taking such good care of your dad.
Dan you are doing a wonderful job … can’t be a better son ! Your Dad is blessed !
His type is out of this world 😊
Pop: "Thank you Dan".
Dan: " You're welcome Dad".
❤ 👍
❤
😢
I cared for my father for five year's until he passes away from complications of Dementia. I would never judge you Dan or anybody eles who cares for their loved one's. I would like to tell you that the Constant Reaaurance you give to your Dad is exactly what he needs. I admire you for all you do for your Dad and for bringing awareness to this disease on a daily basis. God bless.🙏❤
My mom goes through this with my grandma every day. God bless you for having your dad in your home still. That is a very difficult thing. Much love to you all.
He always remembers mealtime! You remained very calm and reassuring, and you kept him calm. This is normal even with no dementia. We remember things from years ago, but forget where we left our reading glasses 15 minutes ago. I know it is hard not to get frustrated, but you both do such a great job remaining calm and reassuring him 😊
“What time is dinner?”
That’s the perfect sign you’ve done a great job right there 😀
-
Ed’s such a brave and caring man.
I can see exactly where you get it from Dan.
Bless you all!
I want to live with someone like you when I’m old and scared. You are so good at reassuring him! Bless you, Dan.
Absolutely 😊
I love that he is such a caring person! Still thinks about feeding his kids and providing for them! He's an amazing man!
What a hard conversation to have with pop.i was a hairdresser in a retirement community. I witnessed a lot of changes in people . The onset of living away from loved ones. They always are going home. After13 years of this at the end they usually are bedridden and I saw with my own 👀 eyes, them go to a fetal position before they pass. God willing they are calling home sooner than that. Dan you are amazing son to go through this day in and day out.. remember to take your wife and get away some weekends. For your rest and sanity. God bless 😇😇😇
No judgement my friend! The best statement I heard right off the start....your dad knew that you were his son.... wow, what a gift! It's precious moments no matter how much makes "sense". ❤
You were/are blessed to have him as your Dad.
He is blessed to have you as his son.❤
~When he said his parents are getting older & he doesn't want to leave them alone made me cry a few tears. You are a great son. Godspeed.
"Thank you Dan" When Grandpa Ed said that at the end, ooo that tugged at my heart ❤
❤❤❤ 😢 Yes 👍🏻🤚🏻 Agree 💯😉💭❣️
There’s no right or wrong, and watching you guide your Dad is inspirational!
Blessings to Dr. Ed, you, and all your family ❤
Fantastic job, Dan. Never once did I hear anything but kindness and patience in your voice, even though he talked about the same thing over and over again. I'm sorry Dan this cannot be easy.
I think you did a fantastic job of being patient and just helping to redirect your dad when he was getting confused. Well done sir !!!
You’re a Great son. You calmly explain things to him over and over understandably. Wish I had a daughter or son to help me out when I need it! Thanks for being there for pops
I miss my dad. He used to go through these sundowning moments too until he became non verbal. By which I mean he had the ability to talk he just didn't anymore and that was closer to the end of his life. I appreciate you and your wife making these videos because they are of service to those that are experiencing the same issues with their loved ones as well as opening the eyes of those that don't have to deal with these health issues. You are all very blessed. Thank you for doing these videos.
Dan it is okay to allow him to think he is going home tomorrow. It will quite him down, you are wearing yourself out. Allow him remember. He is not going to remember what you are saying. Allow him to think then you can divert him to a different subject. You are a wonderful son. God bless you.
Good advice.
I disagree but only because Dan is able to calm him down by telling him the truth. I think everyone should be given the dignity of being told the truth until the point that lying is the only thing that calms him down. I would do the extra bit of work to tell him the truth
@@christopherwilliams7905 it’s called compassionate lying- no need for the person who is suffering from dementia to re-live the experience of being told a loved one is deceased over & over because they are experiencing hearing that information as if it were the first time being told that, only they are grieving again over & over, each & every time.
I think that's what I would do, but I think Dan is doing a good job too. If someone had died, I wouldn't try to convince the person constantly.
It,s like playing a game did so with my mom , it really helped her to know I was there and would go talk to those who were harming animals . Of course there wasn’t any thing going on but in her mind it was .
Good job, Ed. I could hear a little frustration in your voice when you talk to your Dad (totally understandable) but it wasn't bad. What a super good idea to take him through the timeline of his life and to repeat that he was home and safe. Repetition is a necessity. It must be awful for people with dementia; so scary for them because they can't hold onto normal information that would allay worry and fear. You are a very good son.