The Witcher Critique - The Beginning of a Monster
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- Опубліковано 17 тра 2024
- The first of three videos on The Witcher Series. This is focused on the first game but discusses all three of them, plus some comments on the books and TV series.
/ josephanderson
www.paypal.me/JphAnderson
/ andersonjph
/ jph_anderson
/ discord
Art Credits to
/ nickolaiboulton
/ wuggynaut
Introduction/Prologue - 00:00
Chapter One: Fear The Chipmunk - 22:55
Chapter Two: Welcome To Hotel Vizima - 1:07:17
Chapter Three: Stuck In The Middle With Who? - 1:52:28
Chapter Four: Smoke Over The Water - 2:29:04
Chapter Five: Sympathy For Your Devil - 3:11:10
#TheWitcher #TheWitcherSeries #WitcherCritique - Ігри
Introduction - 00:00
Chapter One: Fear The Chipmunk - 22:55
Chapter Two: Welcome To Hotel Vizima - 1:07:17
Chapter Three: Stuck In The Middle With Who? - 1:52:28
Chapter Four: Smoke Over The Water - 2:29:04
Chapter Five: Sympathy For Your Devil - 3:11:10
Finally!
You need a Witcher.
piss wizards ahoy
Legend
Proud of you
Hate when youtubers milk their videos to get to the 10 minute mark...
i lol'd
😤
When I see that the video is exactly 10 minutes long I just skip.
@@grzegorzswist Same. You just know that the video probably only has 6 or 7min of actual content, and then 3min of filler, repeating themself, forced jokes, or whatever else they throw in to push the to 10:01 mark.
Triggerino Kripperino Issa joke bro. Cuz this video is four hours long 😂
I'm going to greatly enjoy watching this over the course of several years
Hi RT
joseph anderson speedrun
Hi Kevin, it's nice to see you enjoy Joseph too!
Kiss me RT
Hi RT
"If you considered sex a 'fail state' then witcher 1 could be horror game"
That actually is so true, I laughed audibly
I must be dumb… what does he mean by a “fail-state”?
@@Chicken_Inspector Say your goal is to get through the game without triggering a sex scene. If you were to end up getting one, you'd 'fail' reaching your goal. Since it's no game over if that happens, you'd still be in a 'failed state' of the game, meaning you'd have to reload a save or restart the game.
@@runixzan2813 ahhh!!! Gotcha! Thanks
time stamp?
When
I remember believing the full video trilogy would be uploaded within a week or two of this one. Those were the days.
It was a glorious dream we shared.
Hahahaha 😭😭😭😭
waiting for part 3 but time and life has its road and we just gotta keep hoping :)
surely... soon...
yus
baller move: "i had more fun reading the books than playing the games"
Hello Mark Brown guy
Here's one: "I dont care that Sekiro wasn't accessible"
Tekno Pathetic
Lmao
@Henrik K Who has the balls to do such a thing
@Henrik K really I gotta see that - who was
"this video took 5000 hours to make"
*disables adblock*
He deserves the ad revenue
you are a good person
*keeps adblock on*
Shaman Xeed lol. feel free to pay his pantreon double to undo the terrible misjustice that is not watching advertisements because you’re smart enough to install an adblocker and avoid the constant headache.
Or you know go donate on patreon
Can't wait to see his Witcher 1 remake critique in 10 years
Ha! Jokes on you! Im from the future... 50 years in the future!
Just here to confirm that we got Witcher 3 critique part 1/6 today.
It will drop before the Witcher 3 vid
The Order + Scoia'tael conga line in chapter 5 was the funniest part of the whole game for me. The elves stroll in, having decided that war crimes just gotta be committed here. Then, not 30 seconds later, the Order, not to be one upped, kick the door in and decide they're gonna show the filthy non-humans how to really murder defenseless, wounded non-combatants.
HUMANS NUMBER ONE!
@@windwaker105 more like WARCRIMES NUMBER ONE
lol
Kinda wild though how most of human/elf history was the elves trying desperately to do all they could to AVOID war at all costs.
@@MegaZetawas it though? Almost every single time, it’s the elves who go on the offensive and then once they are (predictably) obliterated the persecutions and pogroms follow.
Obligatory “Joseph Anderson stretching to hit that 10 minute mark” comment
he could've stretched to hit that 4h20m mark imo
He stretched the vid to hit the 10 min mark... 25 times...
He does it every single video, doesn't even try to hide it.
If he stretched this video like some youtubers do (interruptions with music and stock images in middle of sentences, repeating, long intro, begging for subs) it would be 10 hour long
.
"I lost control over the scope of this project."
- Joseph "Time Genocider" Anderson
Joseph "Chronocide" Anderson
Joseph 'I may have gone too far in a few places' Anderson
Joe is Jaque is Alvin, the time traveler confirmer
When I first heard it, I honestly thought a "witcher" was somebody who hunts witches. Like a fisher 😅
Honestly, i thought the same thing XD
.Fisher,
a large brown marten valued for its fur, found in North American woodland where it frequently preys on porcupines.
Thought it too, and honestly still feel that's the intention in the series. Witches don't have mutation or the skill, and Cirilla says she's a witcher. Not witch
Well, that's somewhat accurate, with the distinction that Geralt hunts witches to bed.
i mean it kinda still is
"Trust me, Joseph Anderson's channel gets really good after the 9-month introductory sequence!"
Andrew Cunningham Joseph should pin this comment
Thank you, Andrew Cunningham
9/11 likes, I don't want to ruin it.
Jesus Christ no kidding, two plus minutes of garbage about the video's length and I'm already out.
@「INTAHNETTO」 wut
Man walking through a wall with a sick ass line “i knew we’d meet again” isn’t a bug, it’s a power move
The only way to effectively assert dominance over a witcher is a greater display of eurojank
2:28:16
@Shaman Xeed One of the most hilarious things I've read in a UA-cam comment. Thank you very much for this
gaunter odimm only enemy
@Shaman Xeed i shouldn't expect good game taste from someone who's channel consist of themselves shitting on great games.
dude, just want you to know that I’ve watched this and the Witcher 2 analysis about three times each since I found them a year ago. They are like my comfort food. Thank you for allowing me to escape reality with a wonderful and immersive analysis of an even worse reality :)))
These videos are probably the best UA-cam videos I've seen. The quality is Joseph's writing is impressive. No other long form content and video game analysis compares
Im currently watching it for the 5th time.
@@flarebear5346 Noah Caldwell Gervais is good, I'd recommend his vids if you're ever interested in a good time
I find myself coming back and re-watching these videos all the time
@@BKSF1 Your Noah Caldwell recommendation has changed my life fr
the suspects introduction around 1:21:30 is so fucking funny the effort is very much appreciated
It literally cracked me up so heavily, i had to rewind
"Witcher 1 is like watching a 3 year old climb to the top of a fridge"
Sounds like there's trouble afoot at the Anderson household...
I promise you, it's not just his lol
Winds howling
@@EvaHoshizora Omg you have kids too? Me too! I just love my kids, aren't they the greatest? Look:
*Smashes pictures of kids into your face repeatedly and hard enough to draw blood Family Guy style*
@@fredspofford I don't have kids (yet, sadly) - just help taking care of my cousin and my friends that have kids are telling me some horror stories lol
Unless you count cats as children, then I have two little devils that I love.
@@EvaHoshizora No pls dont have children www.reddit.com/r/collapse/comments/fw7cf2/people_think_theres_going_to_be_a_future_and_i/
Remember 4 years ago, when Joe apologized for the length of his 30 minute videos?
In 2035 Joe will release a week long review of the 7 year old game Witcher Souls Origins and not apologize for the video length, calling it now.
@@aslakgurnirsson1685 he'll apologize for it being shorter than normal
Oh yeah, just about at the start of this video
2055: Joseph Anderson, in the later years of his life, develops the worlds first fully functional AI that is programmed to come up with new observations faster than it can say them so he can use it to make a stream that talks about the witcher games for all eternity
@@bentleykennedy-stone673 lol
It's my 4th time watching this video over 3 years, and I'm just now realizing that Alvin is the chipmunk who is to be feared. Masterpiece, Joe.
same here hahaha
I watched this near the end of freshman year. Now I’m graduating in less than a month. And there still isn’t a Witcher 3 video.
I remember watching this at the end of junior year. Since then I've finished high school, taken a year off, moved to a new country, and finished my first year of University. Still no Witcher 3
I finished my Bachelor and my Master since this video was first published. Still no Witcher 3.
We're in the same boat
"If sex is used as a fail state, then The Witcher 1 can be played as a horror game."
Holy shit some of your lines in this are absolutely golden.
Real life would be easymode for that game
Not as good as the twin swords of facts and logic of Twitter centrists who go after both sides.
I mean, *that is* a joke paraphrased from the video itself
@@thatromanfella8377 dude I just quoted the video so please chill. The phrase is used when talking about part 4 somwhere past the three hour mark. Sorry if I offended you.
@@TheCivildecay Wow I feel sorry for you. Like do you not live in a country where Prostetution is legal or whats your deal?
This coming out feels like an event, and that is a very rare thing on UA-cam. Congrats on this behemoth, and brb in 4 hours.
Casual Raz
Hi Raz! How are you doing? Hope you and the lady Tha lives with you are doing fine!
love how my favorite creator is in the comments of my other favorite. and yes I can have two favorites, I shouldn't have to choose between the two of you
@@blibbers8843 "If I have to choose between one *favorite creator* or another, then I'd rather not choose at all."
What writing a 4 hour review is like for someone who doesn't write reviews when
1:48:23 Pity on the Kitty
2:14:47 Break the Werewolf Spell
3:40:04 More Fun than a Banquet
I guess those are the fake ones he mentioned in the Witcher 2 video xD
OH MAN, after the announcement of the remake I came back to search for the PITTY ON THE KITTY, thanks for putting this time stamp, AMEN
Where’s the bar one? Where he does the funny voice and mimics the the dudes asking for a drink or whatever lmao
@@Gokuu_Black 3:20:20 mimicking the brawler line _"We fight for money!"_ and then breaking down chuckling.
@@dividewalker5673 thank you thank you thank you I needed this
“I learned Polish to read the originals in the original language.”
Dude, massive respect, I’m trying to do that with Italian for the Divine Comedy and it’s no small order to learn a new language
Edit: if that was the lie…
Well then, good luck! I think your task may be a bit more difficult since Dante and modern Italian do not translate 100%, but have fun reading the Divine Comedy!
I’m pretty sure the lie he was referring to is when he said the game’s ending is bad, so poorly received, and then criticizes introducing Jacques so late in the game as the worst bit of storytelling we’ve seen so far.
Then he spammed the screen with all the comments about Jacques and Alvin being the same person.
At that point, he talks about why he lied and then talks about how brilliant the ending of the game actually is.
He’s probably correct about most people missing that connection initially since the connection is not overtly stated but rather hinted at and suggested.
There’s no reason to believe he lied about learning Polish to read the books in the original language.
@@laurent5176 in the video he did on Witcher 2, he said he filled this video with lies, 1) because so few have played it and wouldn’t know better, but also 2) because the game itself lies to you through its so-many-unreliable characters. But my guess in particular was because (as someone who hasn’t played it before) right near the beginning he basically said he told 2 truths and a lie, and i was impressed about the language learned as a possible way to reinforce his own appreciation for the game, which i still think is cool… if it isn’t the lie. But because he said there were so many lies in the game and (playfully) in his video, it’s hard to know what’s actually true. So few people would learn a full language just to understand a hobby better
@@ArchetypeGotoh At 2:18:10 He lied about being torn between two sorceresses. And then there’s the whole lie about the ending. I’m sure there are a bunch of others sprinkled through, but I’m pretty sure that he points out the intentional inaccuracies within a few minutes of making the joke (which is what I would call them, rather than lies.) And it seems like he sprinkles them through his video as bait for comments.
That’s why I personally don’t think he’d lie about something like learning a new language to read the books: there’s nothing about that that could be considered funny. And there’s also no way that any of the viewers could ‘correct’ the error in his comments.
You’re right that few people would go out to learn a new language just to read books in the original language; but then again, there are fans that are so dedicated to their favorite TV show/game/books/movies/comics, that they go out and learn *fake* languages, like Klingon or Quenya and Sindarin (Tolkien’s Elvish languages.) So, I still don’t think that he was lying about learning Polish.
Either way, I think it’s pretty cool that you’re looking to learn Italian to read Dante. Good luck, and have a great weekend.
@@laurent5176 if he had learned Polish, he would not have gone on how Witcher was a weird word, and simply explained the reason for it being like it is.
Its officially been 2 years since this video. He's going to drop the Witcher 3 video today. I can feel it.
3 years now, damn :(
4 years, you cant make this up...
Nah
Close but no cigar
Ah yes Elden Ring also known as Witcher 3
So close
no
I expected this to be a critique of all 3 Witchers, but nearly 3 hours in, I've realized this is only about the first Witcher.
Now imagine what three will be like.
@@theshambler6814 8 hours I believe lmao
I'm glad he is doing all three, because I read the books and watched the Netflix version, but did not have a desire to play Witcher 1+2.
I haven't played Witcher 3 yet (it's on the steam backlog) but I would really like to. I need to play it before his last video comes out.
Donkringel Why don’t you wanna play the first 2?
@@roryfehring1045 well I cant speak for him but personally the first 2 appear to be very different games from each other and the witcher 3 all be it in the same trilogy
For those interested: no, you can't actually have sex with granny, werewolf or the stryga. These were jokes and the cards were drawn by @Wuggynaut
What a shame, I fell from my chair laughing at grannys card...
Someone should add them in the wikia of the witcher game
I.... fell for them hook, line and sinker :D
i got fucking jebaited
I completely bought that those were really in the game, holy crap
That scene where you read the excerpt and how the scene matched more or less perfectly with the description was actually damn cool
time stamp?
@@ianpatrickclarksr4074 Uh, I am not gonna search through the whole video now, but you can search for it, somebody has took that clip and posted it separately where this guy reads the excerpt in perfect sync with the cutscene
3:31:42
"First of 3 videos"
*looks at duration*
oh boy this is going to be a wild ride
Marco and watching them can kinda be called a Wild Huuuuuuuunt, ei? Eeeeeeeeeeeei? I’m sorry
a wild hunt*
IT'S HAPPENING!!!
Joseph - "the third video will be the longest and the second will be about 5 hours long".
We're in for a ride boys
Well, while you've got an hour, be sure to check out the criminally underrated Nth Review: ua-cam.com/video/vCjWhIMV_4A/v-deo.html
Hell yes
I can't tell you how excited I am. I've been checking back daily to see if the new ones are up yet. I have probably watched this video 4 times, in bits and pieces. This guy has a talent for this.
game of thrones who?
I’m excited
"It takes dh'oine to know dh'oine" killed me, thanks for that
happy 4 years to this video
*scratches wrist
"You got any of that Witcher 2?"
I mean yeah man. I keep returning to this video waiting for my fix!
i've literally been checking the channel every day since the first vid released ^^
Right! It’s been 2 months 😖
Amazing 😂 I totally agree
He’s working on closed captions for it right now. He may or may not be translating it to different languages I’m not sure. He mentioned it on Twitter
I struggle to write an essay over three pages and this man's tossing out multiple 4-hour scripts
blahokay1 you can try adderall or weed, it helps you to spin out multiple ideas from every sentence of your reading material.
froot that’s not true. Weed can calm and relax your mind to the point where you are able to connect multiple thoughts and past experiences together, and it also makes you excited about what you read which pushes you even further to invest your intellect. Adderall can give you confidence in what you are thinking about which acts like a catalyst for intellectual output. But also you can use those drugs to get high and be dumb, is the latter experience more relatable?
froot that was just my experience when I was in university.
find stuff you care about. a lot easier to write about it if you’re invested in learning about it.
Barta Bhaus drugs don’t work the same for everyone.
In my first playthrough, I told Alvin to become a knight rather than a Witcher. Then after finding the amulet after killing Jauques I was RUINED. My mind was blown and I was devastated 😅😂
I'm still flabbergasted that Joseph apparently finished the game five times yet completely missed the Alvin/Grand Master connection
@DrMcFly you haven’t seen the full video, have you? Watch till the end!
@@DunedainRanger461 umm... "woosh" and all that
@DrMcFly28 You say that yet there is nothing even in relation to a joke in your first comment, whoosh would be better used on you the first time your parents explained what a joke is since you've clearly missed the point.
2:15 "the other videos that I've already finished on Witcher 2 and 3 which will soon be released"
Crazy, but after watching this, I think Geralt might be a Witcher.
Hmm, not too sure. Just finished part 2, and it still seems like a stretch...
...We need more data, methinks
Yer a Witcher, Geralt.
Not bad.
What? A witcher? I dunno man seems a little far fetched.
@@Silvanfan Definitely could see Zoltan telling Geralt LOL
The first hour of the video made me want to play the trilogy, after the second hour I was determined to read all books and by the 4th hour I nauczę się polskiego i nigdy więcej nie będę mówić w innym języku.
its spreading
Oh cool, he’s been possessed
You get the best comment award sir
Lmao you win
I'd love to know what he says. But the youtube auto-translate that usually works well, just removes that section outright.
I love how you can just sense game engines from how they look, feel, sound; it's so easy to tell. I've never played Witcher 1 but from footage it really reminded me of KOTOR, only to find out it's on the same engine.
Source Engine is the best example, I think - it's just got such a unique look and feel, that it can't be mistaken for anything else lmao
I actually managed to kill Javed before he could get Berengar, but then Berengar just stood there awkwardly. When I talked to him he only says one line that amounts to. “Sorry for taking so long, I had to make up my mind.”
Where's the "I was here when Joseph Anderson released the Witcher critique" t-shirts???
I mean everyone was in quarantine anyway...
Behind the "I upvoted/downvoted without watching" tshirts
Nacho Bear it’s finally here!!!
I'm replying to your comment just so there is some proof that I was here when it released..
Yeeeeah boi
I didn't really intend to watch this in one sitting, but here we are.
too much free time right now, usually I would never casually watch an 4 hour video, but times are weird :D and its an amazing video about an amazing game, so that is helping :D
I didn't really intend to donate to the patreon but that pun was great.
@@magmakojote1663 Haha right, same here.. I would never casually watch an 4 hour video... never...
Oddly this was the only one of his videos I didn't watch in one sitting.
"first of three"
hilarious
"that will soon be released" is the kicker for me
I am deeply sad every time i come back to this video. His series is so special!
Another analytical note: the ending is a mirror to the final mission from Witcher 3 (battling toward tower towards a child of time and space). After playing through all 3 games in order I couldn’t help but think of Alvin... and how with Ciri, Geralt was going to make things right where he failed the little guy- preventing the White Frost and being the father he could be.
Witcher 3 brings it full circle by giving you the chance to do right what you got wrong in Witcher 1.
It's so sweet of you to say that! Many people have said that they didn't feel anything towards Alvin in the 1st game and that he was just an annoying nuisance at best. For me it was the opposite (maybe bc I'm a woman with a strong maternal "instinct") and I felt so bad that no matter what we choose, that sweet boy is lost to us :( Thanks for making me feel less alone in this!
,,I learned Polish..."
You did what.
Edit: please stop explaining its a lie
i already know
I’m still not sure if that’s the lie or not 😂😂
@@DesTr069 if it isnt a lie im impressed
Lmao same
Since he subtitled the whole damn 4hr video with Polish captions, i think hes false
@@sushantheshreztha8777 i dont watch videos with subtitles so i didnt know but if thats the case props to him
"I learned Polish to read the books in their original language"
Poles: *DOUBT*
I'm really curious to what extent. Like he was able to read the entire book series in polish? Or certain parts he translated and compared? I mean I do think the best way to learn a foreign language is to read/watch stuff in it and really make it a part of your everyday life, but that's an awful big claim.
To be fair, it could have been a tongue in cheek jab at how dedicated he's been, but on the other hand he has been at this for long enough he might have actually done it!
@@0Enigmatic0 He said one of the things he mentioned is a lie and when he says he learned polish you can see "its a lie" on the screen
You can call it coincidence but you know
@@cyjan3k823 Hah, didn't catch that. That's clever. Thanks for pointing that out :)
You reckon it's worth learning for the books. Will being half russian help even in the slightest, I know there are similarities in some ways, but is it enough to really help at all?
Crab-walking when drunk is probably what I remember best from W1 😂
Your explanation of the ending was so god-damned powerful it almost made me emotional for Alvin for real, damn!
"If you treated sex as a fail state then Witcher 1 could be a horror game"
I laughed for 5 minutes straight
"Will you take pitty on the kitty?"
@Charlie Botterell it keeps getting weirder, you'll meet random characters for a single sidequest and bang them after 2 minutes of dialogue hahaha
@Madeleine L ah yes the "lie back and think of England" methof
as an asexual, it truly was a fail to look at something weird i don’t get not once, but twice...
@@paranira6466 since asexuals make up maybe 1% of the population, I dont see the addition of sex in a story driven game a "fail" you are just out of the norm. Not a bad thing, no shame intended.
"only one these is a lie by the way"
When he says "I also learned polish", the narration on screen says "Storyteller: This is the lie"
Clever girl...
damn you're so good at catching those tiny, almost imperceptible things
Polish is a nightmare for English speakers to learn, so of course. Beautiful language but super foreign to English speakers.
I was just thinking randomly, "Gee, I wonder if the other 2 Witcher videos came out from JA."
The fact that this came out 3 years ago is INSANE!!!!! I don't mind that he never released them, but it's amazing how time flies.
Apparently it'll be out by the end of the year
He did release a vid on Witcher 2. Not three though😔
I just realized that my fight with Azar Javed was absolutely buggy: Berengar showed up, we had the pre fight talk and then we basically stomped Javed within a couple of seconds. I was pretty buffed with runes and potions, but still surprised how easy the fight was. Afterwards I was disappointed there was no additional dialogue with Berengar after the fight, now I know why.
I hope he is happy somewhere in the bug dimension.
It's not a bug, you can stomp him without Berengar dying if you're buffed up enough, even on hard difficulty. It's just that the game doesn't really account for it in a meaningful way
"Triss is back" *Shows Triss' back*. I love touches like this.
I love Triss' back.
46:45 "But as always, we need to ask ourselves: What about Shrek?"
Ah yes, the classic line in literature classes everywhere
He got that from super bunnyhop I believe
@@Seppevh No i think it's Vaush. From the joker ish most important movie of year rebottle.
@@marekwygnany924 Nah bunnyhop's witcher videos came out years before that guy even made his first video.
quattrocentobotte
I think Shreck is pretty over rated.
Why sherk is remembered: funny looking character, but good story.
@@RedVelvetBlackleather also good use of pop music to help drive the story.
"Captain of the guard, Vincent 'dick wolf' Meis.... it's not him" takes me tf out every time
Alina and Celina must be a reference to the old classic Polish book "Balladyna" from the 18th century.
It's about two peasant sisters: Balladyna and Alina, whose house is accidentally visited by a prince. The prince offers them a race in collecting raspberries - the one who collected a full basket first was supposed to marry him. Balladyna killed Alina in the forrest, took her raspberries, and won. Her forehead was then marked with an unremovable raspberry/blood-colored dot, as a reminder that she killed her sister. She got the mark from Goplana, the lady of the lake, who is a sort of an observer-meddler in the background of the book's story.
At least that's how the book starts :)
Hence the raspberry bushes where the quest takes place ;)
Cool 😮
But how does it end?
@@nofuckingtrolllzzz Balladyna hid her mark behind a head band and married the prince (Kirkor).
She went to live with him in his castle, taking her mother with her. As the new lady of the castle, she almost immediately started to feel ashamed and disugisted of her non-noble provenience and anything that reminded her of it, including her mother, which she hid from people.
One day, Kirkor had to go to a war with the usurper, Popiel IV, leaving his faithful servant, von Kostryn, to look over the castle. Balladyna still deeply afraid that her secrets might come out, seeks the advice of an old hermit.
This hermit was actually the old king Popiel III in exile, brother of Popiel IV. Kirkor visited him in the begining of the book too, seeking love advice. That's when the hermit told him to marry a simple peasant girl, since she would not cause him as much trouble, as a spoiled rich lady. He also revealed who he really is to Kirkor.
When Balladyna tells him about Alina, he insists they try to bring her back to life, but Balladyna refuses. Listening in on the conversation, von Kostryn also learns the secret.
Balladyna and von Kostryn get involved romantically. In the meantime, Kirkor sent a gift to his wife. The knight that delivered it got into a quarrel with von Kostryn and Balladyna pierced him with a sword, killing him on the spot, and making von Kostyn her accomplice in murder.
Later, during a feast Balladyna disowns her mother and banishes her from the castle, lies once again about being royal. Torn by even bigger guilt and remorse, she sees a ghost of Alina and feints shortly after that.
Kirkor defeated the usurper and promised to return the reign to the true king, Popiel III. Balladyna hired a bunch of knights, who killed her husband before he returned. While celebrating and eating, Balladyna cuts bread with her knife and gives one half to her lover, von Kostryn. She poisoned the knife and, as you may guess, did not eat her half. Von Kostryn did.
Before Balladyna's victorious coronation she was asked to be a judge in a few cases, and in all of them it's her who's at fault: the murder of Alina, the poisoning of von Kostryn, and the mistreatment of a mother.
In all cases, she sentenced whoever is found guilty to death. After her last sentence, Balladyna gets hit by a lightining bolt out of a clear sky and dies instantly.
Oh yeah, I forgot, pretty important:)
Kirkor insisted she stops wearing the headband all the time and finally shows her forehead to him. He said he will wait no more, and she needs to get rid of it by the time he returns from war. That's why she felt more and more panicked as time passed, the bloody mark would reveal her secret, and that's why she hired goons to kill Kirkor before he came back.
@MrAkka00 thanks for telling :😀
Sound like a great story.
Maybe not a bedtime story for kids though 😅
"Morally ambiguous world"
Briefly shows footage from untitled goose game.
Quality shitposting here.
He originally planned to put more footage of that game in the video, but I guess it's cut content now
@@Rawyr Release the Anderson cut!!!
1:26
"I learned polish to reread the books to in their native language"
*on the screen*
Storyteller: that is the lie
I see what you did there
Didn't even notice that detail, but I figured that was the lie because learning a language is really, really hard
@@123phi123 specially polish, its literal hell
@Shaman Xeed low quality bait
Butt Naked Gamer I doubt it's for bait. Had a look at his channel and he's just a sad boi making stuff about things he hate rather than what he likes. Also a weeb.. So yea XD
If he did learn Polish to read the books, he would have used Polish as the in game language. I prefer the Polish voices over the English voices.
Happy three years of waiting for the Witcher 3 video everybody!
),;
yay
Yoohoo... We foight for money!🗣🗣🔊🔊
The most impressive part of this video is the fact that after over 4 hours of footage to edit you still managed to sneak in a ton of visual gags and jokes.
5000 hours man. Joe takes his job seriously and he'll always have my respect for that
I want a video compiling all of them, especially because he literally hides some of them in corners of the video, but I fear that video itself would be 4 hours long
wait....?
useless!?!?!
ITS NOT HIMM
Man, what a super-dense video. So many little details and jokes and by-the-ways, it's very clear you spent a lot of time working on this. Congrats on finally being able to put it out there!
Can we expect some fan-art based on it?
you fucking know that your about to watch the biggest banger when youtube recommends a 2hr+ long video, perhaps a year late but better late then never
It is the best Video on youtube…and there is another 😉
This is the evidence that it doesn't matter how long a video has to be "catchy" for people. This video has passion, thought, research, and dedication, and it just feels human, even though it is still being edited (which means this could've been much more than 4 h.), it has imperfection, not answered questions, acceptance of multiple perspectives. Thank you so much for this.
"The other two videos are already finished and will soon be released"
One year later and we still only have one of the two. Oh Joe, never change.
wasn't there stuff about re-editing due to changes in opinion and references to cyberpunk and whatnot
Yeah he said at the start of this year that he was pretty much ready to finish the editing on three but then Cyberpunk dropped and he would feel weird not talking about it as part of his review.
@@maxhornby6592 Thanks for the info. I was so confused as to why he said Witcher 3 was mostly done yet it’d been an entire year since he said that. That being said, he doesn’t need to compare them to Cyberpunk at all, IMO. It’s a Witcher games analysis, not a CDPR anthology retrospective, & could dilute the overall work a bit.
he also had like two more kids in the meantime
@@Trymr he is making a cyberpunk video. It's probably going to be longer then an hour because it's Joe, so yeah, we are going to wait quite a while
"Think they'll notice if I just read an entire chapter of the book verbatim?"
"At 3 hours in? No chance."
‘The begining of a monster’ actually refers to Joe, because ever since the start of this series, he’s been teasing chat of The Witcher 3 video for 3 years.
I’ve graduated from college and had two kids since this video dropped. Love all your videos!
«There’s gonna be a few weeks between this video and the witcher 2 video»
- Joseph Anderson 2020
rip
lmao four months later.
"It took longer than expected"
- Joseph Anderson 2023
He just tweeted its going up this sunday, 2nd of August i believe!
Sam Poole holy shit!!!
The fact that this entire 4 hour vid doesn’t drag once is just amazing, a credit to your writing ability because it’s both incredibly interesting and sometimes funny all at once
Ehm drags all the time
Petr Sauer different opinions and interests
His humour is bizarre. 90% of the time he delivers it so monotone that it takes me several seconds to realise he was trying to be humorous.
@@meris8486 it's not like he's cracking jokes, he mostly just sneaks in a funny where he can.
These are critiques, after all, and they would be less easy to watch without his bizarre humor
Meris I’m not calling it a comedy, just that the humour (for me) is pretty funny when it shows up and shows up enough to keep your interest
I just wanted to come here to say, I’ve never played this game and have seen this video in different chunks once or twice, but I probably think of that “I dislike it here…”voice line almost every single day. I love it
I still remember when I was young, finding this gem of a series. I had a head full of dreams and steady hands to long for them. Now I grew weary, my hair was earthen, turned cloudy, and became white as summer snow.
The firm grip of time made my once soft skin turn to wrinkled parchment, my eyes clear as day as misty as a springs morning.
My once sharp mind is now as blunt as a rusted blade, tangled like the seaweeds in my hometown.
And yet did my ears not hear the introduction of part three nor did my eyes once again fill with light, as I recalled my first playthrough or the first read of the miraculous books.
Now I'm old, and every move I make, I can hear deaths steps behind, closing the distance. I'm a done man and the long stillness holds nothing to fear for me.
I only hope that one day my kin may have another wonder to behold, another fabulous tale to witness, about the Witcher, the sorceress and the child of Hen Ichaer.
Me watching this having never played the first game: "Oh look! It's all those characters from the Gwent cards".
Me, having played neither: Look at all these new people!
Sameeee
It's really worth playing tho, even if its pretty old.
@@Sheogorath- yust for the story the gameplay and visuals are terrible
@Blue cigar Gaming He looks much more lore friendly than in third game
4 Hours and 18 Minutes of video game critique
Joseph be like: "Yeah, this is first of three videos about Witcher"
You should check out MauLer's channel. He is an even longer man, as far as content goes
@@chuckleshelicopterwigwamjo6305 yeah but it's not of as high a quality
@@A-N-X-I-E-T-Y I'm going to have to hard disagree on that one, I think MauLer makes legitimately better content. He also can admit a mistake, and tends to be consistent and logical in his points. Let's also not forget that Joseph is the guy who thinks that "If it doesn't scare me, that means it can't be a horror game." Which is genuinely retarded. I actually used to watch Jo a lot, but after long enough, I started to watch him less because he has some really smoothbrained takes sometimes.
Chuckles Helicopter Wigwam Jones
Only ever seen a few minutes of one of his videos, didn’t really grab me. What DOES interest me is how anytime I see one of his fans in the wild they talk shit about another video essayist. You’ve done admirably in taking up that banner!
@@whocansay2215 Yeah, a lot of video essayists say some really braindead things. So naturally, shit will be talked. That's what happens when you put yourself on a public platform. I don't think Joseph is stupid, but he can occasionally say some really stupid things. I still occasionally watch his videos though, which is why I'm in this comment section to begin with. He does still make some good stuff every now and again, but that doesn't mean you can't talk a little smack.
This is my safe video. Whenever I feel bad, anxious or just need something comforting, I am watching this. Several times since the upload. Thank you.
"If you treated sex as a fail state, then Witcher 1 could be a horror game" is a hell of a sentence
When i die, i would like to go to a place where Joseph will critique every existing game and movie for me. Forever.
Coincidentally, your Heaven would also be Joseph Anderson's personal Hell!
@@PsychOsmosis haha true
@@PsychOsmosis for it to be his personal Hell every single game should be about collecting moons.
And anime, don’t forget about anime
@@pedromarberger4709 filthy weeb loves it, anime girls would only make it bearable for him.
Him: "I learned Polish"
Polish people: "Impossible"
*gasp in Polish*
K U R W A
Ciekawe czy naprawde znasz polski.
I'm literally a Pole (I live in Germany since I was 7 though), and even I would have a difficult time reading those books in Polish lol
Ukrainian here. Reading and listening to polish is easy. Writing or talking though, impossible for me
I've watched this video more times this I'd like to admit
I think I'm currently on my 4th or 5th
I wait, and wait, and soon, I pray, my wait shall end; a 3rd Witcher critique shall air, I shall be there to listen.
And the wait continues. At least we got an Elden Ring in the middle of waiting for Witcher
At the time of making this comment there’s over 8000 comments on this video, So I know you probably won’t see this one. I just want you to know that I love examining games in a critical way like this, and so this content is some of my favorite to listen to. I really hope you keep going with this. I want you to know that your work is appreciated and that there are people that love listening to it. I hope you are doing well and I hope you stay safe
Well. He saw it.
legend
William Apple you probably made him 3 and half cents good job!
aww thats real nice
geralt: exists
every female in existence: we‘ll bang, ok?
almost as if it was a fantasy for a male audience
they be like: "Fancy a shag?"
No, I did not imagine a Mass Effect crossover
Maybe cause geralt is hot af ?
He's a very attractive guy. And they dig the whole dark and mysterious thing, also the scars.
Rewatching this years later and hearing him say so many times: "we'll explore this topic in Witcher 3 video" - hurts.
I’ve come back to this video a few times since its release always being very entertaining when I decide to give it a watch again
"Just like twitter, everyone is awful here."
Yes.
i was about to say that this sentence is my favourite one in this whole video and i found your comment :)
I love how zoltan looks like a squashed dumpling in the first game
the artist that created that model should go back to making swords.
@@just1it1moko Sword of Dumplings reference?
ahahahah
I'm sad this isn't how he always looks.
the funniest thing for me was finding a chicken sandwich deep inside raven's crypt
Cant wait to hear you gush about Novigrad in 10 years
Nobody:
Joseph Anderson: Hmm, think I might just create a new academic discipline based around the Witcher series.
nah he is he bad copy of matthewmatosis. avarage analysis
The Febo why are you watching a 4 hour video then?
@@thefebo8987 why are you here then?
@@modvind looked if he has improved but nope.
@@thefebo8987 Do you have any specific issues you could share? I'm curious because I hear him get criticized a lot but no one ever bothers to elaborate except to say that mathewmatosis is better or that his videos or too long.
"The Witcher 2 video is longer than this one. Its about 5 hours." Made me smile ear to ear. Im hyped for your upcoming work. This video could easily be anyones magnum opus and yet its just the beginning.
I hope the third is like 10 hours long, would be a lovely way to pass time during the quarantine
The third one might end up being the longest video on youtube since he did spend 5 times as much time in that game and will also talk about the books in it.
@@alkyycarovny8334 it cant be the longest video on youtube since there are many videos on the maximum length from the past, and at the moment the max length is 12 hours. so you cant get a longest video at the moment since in the past the limit was higher
@@alkyycarovny8334 Look into Breath of the Wild 100% speedruns. Probably the only time I've seen 20-hour videos that aren't just looping memes.
This video was good, but I'd argue that his Zelda and last of us/ uncharted videos where written better. Like he said at the end, writing the video as one big one and then splitting it up into 3 has kind of hurt the focus of the script of the video, if that's the right word to use.
He also didn't touch on game play very much--he talked about the combat. But exploration/ quest "finding" didn't seem to be mentioned more deeply than in a off hand manner... But since I haven't played the game, perhaps they aren't really worth mentioning.
LOL on really ysure why I'm replying to you, but I guess "magnum opus" trigger me a bit. Those are strong words.
No Witcher 3 video? “I dislike it here.”
“Sorry I can’t come tonight, I have to watch this 4 hour video on a game I am completely disinterested in.”
"The first of three videos" and it's already 4 hours long.
We're in for a ride, which is exactly what all of us need right now
Wait he actually says that? Lmao, i haven't started watching
“a true merchant, or a cunning schemer hiding behind the facade of his plain ass npc model that five hundred other men have in this game?”
if i can’t preserve this quote in amber i’ll preserve it in the comments section
bump
Player is led to believe those are different characters sharing the same model due to budget limitations, but it's Leuvaarden. It's actually all Leuvaarden.
The ending of this game is definitely one of the most impacting ones I've seen. Even now it still marks as much.
I just beat the first Witcher and was agreeing with him on how it felt mediocre for an ending as I completely missed that Alvin was actually the main villain. So many things like the amulet on him and the Alvin illusion having his the different shadow I just wrote off but upon learning this the ending is really great
That's how I felt. Sure, we're not introduced to the grand master until the final act, but once you realize he's Alvin, the end is very impactful. Whether you liked Alvin or not, you remember him as an innocent child who trusted your gideance. A child who's just like Ciri.
@@vanyadolly Tbh, I still wasn't enough to grab me. There was nothing about Alvin that interested me, he was some random child you first met in a weird cutscene, who the game tries to tell you matters, while doing nothing that makes you as a player like or care about him. Something they changed with Ciri, having a lot of scenes with her before ever meeting her, so even those that haven't read the books would care about her. The twist with Alvin is a cool idea, I give you that, but the execution was just bad. Honestly, that is my take on almost everything in Witcher 1: Good ideas, implemented badly (or mediocre at best). But that is a reason I'm excited for the remake, because that gives them a chance to execute on these ideas with more experience, skill and budget.
Starting my 9th rewatch. Please upload another video
"If you think of sex as a fail state the witcher 1 could be a horror game." LAMO
I do and it totally is.
lamo
*Lamo*
lamo
Laughing Ass My Off
2:26:27 "Geralt is surprised when a character named Con Artist tricks him" I spilled my coffee, thanks Joseph
Almost three years since this came out. Looking forward to part 3!
Its never coming out. It’s some Half Life 3 level prophecy stuff.
Hearing that some people don't enter the cemetery by the time you're supposed to figure out about fake Raymond was baffling, because I actually cleared the cemetery including the crypt prior to that stage of the quest and proceeded to get INCREDIBLY stuck because I had gone everywhere in the Temple quarter/swamp, talked to everyone I could, inspected everything, and had NO "proof" aside from the medallion that Raymond wasn't who he said he was. I even had an inkling about the crypt being important because I remembered breaking the wall and seeing a room that felt like it should've been important but had nothing in it. I only managed to complete the quest the correct way after a ton of Googling to figure out what I was "missing" and was very annoyed at having to backtrack into the cemetery to see a corpse that had seemingly spawned in at some random point; I assumed the cemetery was an optional monster-harvesting area more or less and that I wouldn't NEED to go back there again after clearing it once so I never would've thought to re-enter it on my own.
That just goes to show how confusing the investigation questline was, though. I got to a point in it, decided to just do a ton of side quests in hopes of unlocking more info for the next part (which to be fair is pretty much what you HAVE to do in this game, constantly), and in the process gained access to the cemetery for a monster quest, only to prematurely uncover an area that was ONLY supposed to be used for the investigation, which hadn't had a flag triggered yet to spawn Raymond's corpse. It's very disappointing in hindsight as I spent probably a good hour being confused, running around, and eventually Googling for more and more hints as I was invested in the story and didn't want to have to just look up a guide, but was becoming increasingly worried that I had somehow softlocked myself. Seeing Raymond's corpse in the crypt would've been so cool as part of the story, but I was deprived from finding it organically.