Introduction - 00:00 Chapter One: Fear The Chipmunk - 22:55 Chapter Two: Welcome To Hotel Vizima - 1:07:17 Chapter Three: Stuck In The Middle With Who? - 1:52:28 Chapter Four: Smoke Over The Water - 2:29:04 Chapter Five: Sympathy For Your Devil - 3:11:10
@@grzegorzswist Same. You just know that the video probably only has 6 or 7min of actual content, and then 3min of filler, repeating themself, forced jokes, or whatever else they throw in to push the to 10:01 mark.
@@Chicken_Inspector_kun Say your goal is to get through the game without triggering a sex scene. If you were to end up getting one, you'd 'fail' reaching your goal. Since it's no game over if that happens, you'd still be in a 'failed state' of the game, meaning you'd have to reload a save or restart the game.
I'm glad he is doing all three, because I read the books and watched the Netflix version, but did not have a desire to play Witcher 1+2. I haven't played Witcher 3 yet (it's on the steam backlog) but I would really like to. I need to play it before his last video comes out.
@@roryfehring1045 well I cant speak for him but personally the first 2 appear to be very different games from each other and the witcher 3 all be it in the same trilogy
love how my favorite creator is in the comments of my other favorite. and yes I can have two favorites, I shouldn't have to choose between the two of you
@@thatromanfella8377 dude I just quoted the video so please chill. The phrase is used when talking about part 4 somwhere past the three hour mark. Sorry if I offended you.
dude, just want you to know that I’ve watched this and the Witcher 2 analysis about three times each since I found them a year ago. They are like my comfort food. Thank you for allowing me to escape reality with a wonderful and immersive analysis of an even worse reality :)))
These videos are probably the best UA-cam videos I've seen. The quality is Joseph's writing is impressive. No other long form content and video game analysis compares
The first hour of the video made me want to play the trilogy, after the second hour I was determined to read all books and by the 4th hour I nauczę się polskiego i nigdy więcej nie będę mówić w innym języku.
Butt Naked Gamer I doubt it's for bait. Had a look at his channel and he's just a sad boi making stuff about things he hate rather than what he likes. Also a weeb.. So yea XD
The Order + Scoia'tael conga line in chapter 5 was the funniest part of the whole game for me. The elves stroll in, having decided that war crimes just gotta be committed here. Then, not 30 seconds later, the Order, not to be one upped, kick the door in and decide they're gonna show the filthy non-humans how to really murder defenseless, wounded non-combatants.
@@MegaZetawas it though? Almost every single time, it’s the elves who go on the offensive and then once they are (predictably) obliterated the persecutions and pogroms follow.
2055: Joseph Anderson, in the later years of his life, develops the worlds first fully functional AI that is programmed to come up with new observations faster than it can say them so he can use it to make a stream that talks about the witcher games for all eternity
@@EvaHoshizora Omg you have kids too? Me too! I just love my kids, aren't they the greatest? Look: *Smashes pictures of kids into your face repeatedly and hard enough to draw blood Family Guy style*
@@fredspofford I don't have kids (yet, sadly) - just help taking care of my cousin and my friends that have kids are telling me some horror stories lol Unless you count cats as children, then I have two little devils that I love.
The fact that this entire 4 hour vid doesn’t drag once is just amazing, a credit to your writing ability because it’s both incredibly interesting and sometimes funny all at once
@@meris8486 it's not like he's cracking jokes, he mostly just sneaks in a funny where he can. These are critiques, after all, and they would be less easy to watch without his bizarre humor
The names from the wedding quest in the fourth chapter, as well as the quest itself are actually references to classic Polish literature. "Balladyna" tragedy play is about titular Balladyna - a young woman, who goes on a raspberry gathering competition together with her sister, Alina, in order to decide which one is going to marry a prince (a ghost of the lake and various legendary and supernatural factors come into play as well here, just FYI). Alina actually wins the competition, but Balladyna, jealous of her sister, decides to murder her, which later plays into the whole tragedy. With the names rhyming like that, Alina and Celina sound like a clear reference to that, as well as the raspberry bush located on the map. Also, the author of that play was Juliusz (Julius) Słowacki, and together with Adam Mickiewicz (whose poetry is referenced in said quest IIRC) they are two of the three most famous and celebrated Polish poets. Not surprised you didn't pick up on that, there are probably really few people outside of Poland who did. PS: As a BTW, "Raspberry" in Polish is called "Malina", so yeah :D
If anyone is further interested, here's a synopsis: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Balladyna_(drama) Also, the reference is further reinforced by the two girls' characters - IIRC, Alina in the play was the innocent, sweet one, while Balladyna was more cynical and pragmatic, which would fit the girls' personalities in the game. EDIT: So I couldn't lay it to rest (pun unintended xD) and actually looked for that poem that Dandelion "writes": In Polish, those are actually first three stanzas of Mickiewicz's poem "Upiór" (Wraith). Just wanted to make sure, so I thought I'd share. Fun fact: Słowacki (author of "Balladyna") and Mickiewicz are known to not really get along, and they had this sort of rivalry, where they tried to sometimes one up each other through their poetry, poking fun at the other poet. There are quite a few references like these to Polish literature in both the games and books, though I wouldn't possibly be able to name them all at this point... One that comes to my mind was from the books with the "Adieu's Free Company Song", which references this, only with changed lyrics: ua-cam.com/video/6R9Q1V0OROU/v-deo.html Where in the book, the mercenaries are singing that "Never will they be roped into pacts, and only money will they serve", the original was the opposite: Never shall we enter alliances with kings Never shall we bend our necks before power For in Christ's service we are fulfilling orders Servants of Mary! Another one is pretty much the entirety of "Hearts of Stone", but there's so much, it would probably be easier for you to find some compilation list or something. That whole DLC is VERY heavily inspired by Polish folklore and literature.
@@ianpatrickclarksr4074 Uh, I am not gonna search through the whole video now, but you can search for it, somebody has took that clip and posted it separately where this guy reads the excerpt in perfect sync with the cutscene
too much free time right now, usually I would never casually watch an 4 hour video, but times are weird :D and its an amazing video about an amazing game, so that is helping :D
Man, what a super-dense video. So many little details and jokes and by-the-ways, it's very clear you spent a lot of time working on this. Congrats on finally being able to put it out there!
"The Witcher 2 video is longer than this one. Its about 5 hours." Made me smile ear to ear. Im hyped for your upcoming work. This video could easily be anyones magnum opus and yet its just the beginning.
The third one might end up being the longest video on youtube since he did spend 5 times as much time in that game and will also talk about the books in it.
@@alkyycarovny8334 it cant be the longest video on youtube since there are many videos on the maximum length from the past, and at the moment the max length is 12 hours. so you cant get a longest video at the moment since in the past the limit was higher
This video was good, but I'd argue that his Zelda and last of us/ uncharted videos where written better. Like he said at the end, writing the video as one big one and then splitting it up into 3 has kind of hurt the focus of the script of the video, if that's the right word to use. He also didn't touch on game play very much--he talked about the combat. But exploration/ quest "finding" didn't seem to be mentioned more deeply than in a off hand manner... But since I haven't played the game, perhaps they aren't really worth mentioning. LOL on really ysure why I'm replying to you, but I guess "magnum opus" trigger me a bit. Those are strong words.
The most impressive part of this video is the fact that after over 4 hours of footage to edit you still managed to sneak in a ton of visual gags and jokes.
I want a video compiling all of them, especially because he literally hides some of them in corners of the video, but I fear that video itself would be 4 hours long
This video released the same year I met my girlfriend. She is now my wife and we have our first child due in January. I doubt the W3 video will be done by then.
I can't tell you how excited I am. I've been checking back daily to see if the new ones are up yet. I have probably watched this video 4 times, in bits and pieces. This guy has a talent for this.
Shaman Xeed lol. feel free to pay his pantreon double to undo the terrible misjustice that is not watching advertisements because you’re smart enough to install an adblocker and avoid the constant headache.
froot that’s not true. Weed can calm and relax your mind to the point where you are able to connect multiple thoughts and past experiences together, and it also makes you excited about what you read which pushes you even further to invest your intellect. Adderall can give you confidence in what you are thinking about which acts like a catalyst for intellectual output. But also you can use those drugs to get high and be dumb, is the latter experience more relatable?
If he stretched this video like some youtubers do (interruptions with music and stock images in middle of sentences, repeating, long intro, begging for subs) it would be 10 hour long
2:07:53 “It’s goood that ada doesn’t see it vibrating because she’ll probably wanna use it with geralt”. How are lines like these so consistently spread throughout the video, i appreciate them immensely ❤️
At the time of making this comment there’s over 8000 comments on this video, So I know you probably won’t see this one. I just want you to know that I love examining games in a critical way like this, and so this content is some of my favorite to listen to. I really hope you keep going with this. I want you to know that your work is appreciated and that there are people that love listening to it. I hope you are doing well and I hope you stay safe
Thought it too, and honestly still feel that's the intention in the series. Witches don't have mutation or the skill, and Cirilla says she's a witcher. Not witch
Yeah he said at the start of this year that he was pretty much ready to finish the editing on three but then Cyberpunk dropped and he would feel weird not talking about it as part of his review.
@@maxhornby6592 Thanks for the info. I was so confused as to why he said Witcher 3 was mostly done yet it’d been an entire year since he said that. That being said, he doesn’t need to compare them to Cyberpunk at all, IMO. It’s a Witcher games analysis, not a CDPR anthology retrospective, & could dilute the overall work a bit.
@@A-N-X-I-E-T-Y I'm going to have to hard disagree on that one, I think MauLer makes legitimately better content. He also can admit a mistake, and tends to be consistent and logical in his points. Let's also not forget that Joseph is the guy who thinks that "If it doesn't scare me, that means it can't be a horror game." Which is genuinely retarded. I actually used to watch Jo a lot, but after long enough, I started to watch him less because he has some really smoothbrained takes sometimes.
Chuckles Helicopter Wigwam Jones Only ever seen a few minutes of one of his videos, didn’t really grab me. What DOES interest me is how anytime I see one of his fans in the wild they talk shit about another video essayist. You’ve done admirably in taking up that banner!
@@whocansay2215 Yeah, a lot of video essayists say some really braindead things. So naturally, shit will be talked. That's what happens when you put yourself on a public platform. I don't think Joseph is stupid, but he can occasionally say some really stupid things. I still occasionally watch his videos though, which is why I'm in this comment section to begin with. He does still make some good stuff every now and again, but that doesn't mean you can't talk a little smack.
"But is this brewster's latest concontion...CRIME?" Honestly this is really well done and unexpectedly one of the funniest videos I've ever seen. Congrats Joe.
@@paranira6466 since asexuals make up maybe 1% of the population, I dont see the addition of sex in a story driven game a "fail" you are just out of the norm. Not a bad thing, no shame intended.
When Raymond gets replaced, Geralt's wolf medallion will start shaking in the top left corner of the screen whenever you are close. That's how I learned.
I think it shakes when the player sets the medallion to detect magic. Most people have the monster detection on, which is normal, so that's why they don't get alerted. It certainly fooled me when I first played it years ago.
All the lies in the video for people who don't know: - he didn't learn Polish obviously - the grandma is not a romance option - the werewolf is not a romance option - the striga is obviously not a romance option
@@julenexposito6910 He credited the artist on his Twitter. It's Wuggynaut. I was also fooled at first (for the grandma and Werewolf). They are so good!
I'm so confused. The "Easter eggs" at 1:48:23 2:14:48 and 3:40:12 all have really well done images associated with them. However i can't find ANY reference to these scenes or cards anywhere on the web. I tried reverse image searching every card yet no results turn up. There is no way these images were just made for a joke in the video akin to him writing the introductions to the suspects in chapter two, right? He didn't literally draw these? Also the speech in the scene before the striga scene doesn't have subtitles which leads me to believe he just added that line himself. Edit: According to a comment on this video i found by loading all of them and ctrl+f'ing they were drawn by "Wuggynaut" and are a joke. Incredible.
I love how you can just sense game engines from how they look, feel, sound; it's so easy to tell. I've never played Witcher 1 but from footage it really reminded me of KOTOR, only to find out it's on the same engine.
One of the most satisfying parts of this game for me was a random encounter with the alchemist from the Visima Trade Quarter workshop, where you have a conversation where he calls out an alchemical treatise written by Kalkstein as a pseudo scientific bluff. If you go on and find this book, it is much longer than most in-game books and written like an actual academic paper (for fictional alchemic theories, of course). If you understand it well, you can talk to the alchemist again and defend the theory presented in the book, with the alchemist asking you trick questions aimed at poking holes in the theory. Finally you convince him that it makes sense and he gives you some random alchemy scrolls. This was a very minor thing, but being able to have an actual academic debate in this game was really cool.
I really enjoyed going through that encounter when I recently first played Witcher 1, but for an entirely different reason. When my Geralt got my hands on Kalkstein's treatise I didnt even read through the thing, I just wanted that new entry in my journal. So when the alchemist suddenly started asking me about the treatise and throwing curveball questions and all that stuff, I just willed up whatever I could remember from HS chemistry and winged that shit. I ended up getting only one question wrong lmao. But jokes aside, the amount of details in that game the devs threw in, and the fact they made it incredibly fun is honestly like the work of God imho. Im currently playing through Witcher 2 and theres just so many aspects of the game that dont live up to my expectations, Witcher 1 will always hold a place in my heart
@@fokmurphy5203 well, in W2 there is an encounter with a ghost, where you answer his questions about small details of one battle, about which you learn from side-dialogues you pay no attention when you hear them :) That's when you retrieve the Dun Banner.
Its officially been 2 years since this video. He's going to drop the Witcher 3 video today. I can feel it. 3 years now, damn :( 4 years, you cant make this up...
Joe, I literally never comment on UA-cam, and you probably won't see this, but this video is incredible. I just wanted to let you know that I am looking forward to the even longer videos with bated breath.
Yes and which still counts as a comment which invalid that he has never ever literally commented on youtube. If he had said "I HAD never commented on youtube" then I be fine with that but he didn't which peeves me as a gamer.
We're now at a point where the Witcher 4 might actually release before the Witcher 3 video. Definitely one of those holy grail videos I'm waiting to hit my notifications like a comet some day
I'm really curious to what extent. Like he was able to read the entire book series in polish? Or certain parts he translated and compared? I mean I do think the best way to learn a foreign language is to read/watch stuff in it and really make it a part of your everyday life, but that's an awful big claim.
To be fair, it could have been a tongue in cheek jab at how dedicated he's been, but on the other hand he has been at this for long enough he might have actually done it!
@@0Enigmatic0 He said one of the things he mentioned is a lie and when he says he learned polish you can see "its a lie" on the screen You can call it coincidence but you know
You reckon it's worth learning for the books. Will being half russian help even in the slightest, I know there are similarities in some ways, but is it enough to really help at all?
Another analytical note: the ending is a mirror to the final mission from Witcher 3 (battling toward tower towards a child of time and space). After playing through all 3 games in order I couldn’t help but think of Alvin... and how with Ciri, Geralt was going to make things right where he failed the little guy- preventing the White Frost and being the father he could be. Witcher 3 brings it full circle by giving you the chance to do right what you got wrong in Witcher 1.
It's so sweet of you to say that! Many people have said that they didn't feel anything towards Alvin in the 1st game and that he was just an annoying nuisance at best. For me it was the opposite (maybe bc I'm a woman with a strong maternal "instinct") and I felt so bad that no matter what we choose, that sweet boy is lost to us :( Thanks for making me feel less alone in this!
I don't know if you mention or discover this at some point but Geralt wasn't always the protagonist of Witcher 1. He was made the protagonist late in the game's development. For most of the game's development the player would create their own witcher at the beginning of the game. This makes the absence of Yennefer and the context of making the main romance option choosing between Shani or Triss.
Ben Botanel a lot of jank makes more sense now. This really puts some shit into perspective actually. The weird ad hoc nature of the amnesia and it’s comings and goings. The Triss and Shani thing especially. Thankfully that never happened, that would’ve been really bad
@@setlerking Yeah; a custom Witcher would not have worked for game 1. That said, I wouldn't mind seeing a Witcher game that goes back 100 years or so and allows the player to make their own Witcher. Since CD Projekt Red have said that they're finished with Geralt's story, it would be fitting for the next game to do this.
@@matthewmuir8884 I think if CDPR did a game were you made your own witcher and fought in the attack of Kaer Morhen would be really cool, though it would take away multiple endings as you would have to die with the rest of the massacred witchers, for obvious reasons
There is a third way to permanently bypass the Old Lady at Shani's place (which I actually originally thought is the only one): if you beat Thaler in the drinking game, he will give you a book about Redanian spies. You can then gift that book to the Shoecleaner, who is actually Ori Reuven: former assistant of good old Dijkstra (and his inspiration for the fake name he uses in Witcher 3). In return, he will give you 'Prophet Lebioda's signet ring' mentioning that 'Old people greatly respect it'. When shown to the Old Lady, she will think you are Lebioda's priest disguised as a Witcher, and will be more than happy to let you meet Shani on every subsequent visit.
"maybe gonna take a few weeks to take feedback and polish up the 2nd video" he's doing the thing again where he underestimates how mugh time/work things take lmao
he just wants to give people some time with this video, and he said on twitter he rerecorded some audio and wanted to properly finish up the video. he hasn’t forgotten! multiple hour long videos just take some time :)
“I learned Polish to read the originals in the original language.” Dude, massive respect, I’m trying to do that with Italian for the Divine Comedy and it’s no small order to learn a new language Edit: if that was the lie…
Well then, good luck! I think your task may be a bit more difficult since Dante and modern Italian do not translate 100%, but have fun reading the Divine Comedy!
I’m pretty sure the lie he was referring to is when he said the game’s ending is bad, so poorly received, and then criticizes introducing Jacques so late in the game as the worst bit of storytelling we’ve seen so far. Then he spammed the screen with all the comments about Jacques and Alvin being the same person. At that point, he talks about why he lied and then talks about how brilliant the ending of the game actually is. He’s probably correct about most people missing that connection initially since the connection is not overtly stated but rather hinted at and suggested. There’s no reason to believe he lied about learning Polish to read the books in the original language.
@@laurent5176 in the video he did on Witcher 2, he said he filled this video with lies, 1) because so few have played it and wouldn’t know better, but also 2) because the game itself lies to you through its so-many-unreliable characters. But my guess in particular was because (as someone who hasn’t played it before) right near the beginning he basically said he told 2 truths and a lie, and i was impressed about the language learned as a possible way to reinforce his own appreciation for the game, which i still think is cool… if it isn’t the lie. But because he said there were so many lies in the game and (playfully) in his video, it’s hard to know what’s actually true. So few people would learn a full language just to understand a hobby better
@@ArchetypeGotoh At 2:18:10 He lied about being torn between two sorceresses. And then there’s the whole lie about the ending. I’m sure there are a bunch of others sprinkled through, but I’m pretty sure that he points out the intentional inaccuracies within a few minutes of making the joke (which is what I would call them, rather than lies.) And it seems like he sprinkles them through his video as bait for comments. That’s why I personally don’t think he’d lie about something like learning a new language to read the books: there’s nothing about that that could be considered funny. And there’s also no way that any of the viewers could ‘correct’ the error in his comments. You’re right that few people would go out to learn a new language just to read books in the original language; but then again, there are fans that are so dedicated to their favorite TV show/game/books/movies/comics, that they go out and learn *fake* languages, like Klingon or Quenya and Sindarin (Tolkien’s Elvish languages.) So, I still don’t think that he was lying about learning Polish. Either way, I think it’s pretty cool that you’re looking to learn Italian to read Dante. Good luck, and have a great weekend.
@@laurent5176 if he had learned Polish, he would not have gone on how Witcher was a weird word, and simply explained the reason for it being like it is.
First I saw the time markers on the video and I thought, "That madman." Then I read the description stating this is the first of three videos on The Witcher and I thought, "That tortured genius."
Fookin quarentine, I've already watched it 3 times in the background while playing xbox. Nevermind the first initial viewing. Can't wait for part 2 and 3
@Shaman Xeed LOL so we should only review "good" games? Or more specifically games Shaman Xeed wants to see obviously. Do you know what review means? Yea I'll bet Joe takes this suggestion to heart after getting 700k views in 5 days on a 4 hour long video about a 13 year old game. We will DEARLY miss your subscription
I actually managed to kill Javed before he could get Berengar, but then Berengar just stood there awkwardly. When I talked to him he only says one line that amounts to. “Sorry for taking so long, I had to make up my mind.”
In case you don't know, Joseph has stated that he's re-recording his second video and remaking it. We should give him time to be satisfied with his work. When all 3 parts come out, we will have something like a 15 hour epic to rewatch once every month. :)
Dude, I'm an hour and a half in so far and I'm blown away by the level of production on this 4 hour video! I can't believe how much work you've done on this, it just screams passion project. Excellent job man, this is legitimately inspiring
The amount of inside jokes in this video just brings a smile to my face, loved it when 2B appeared in the mirror, or when it goes black and white anytime "useless" is said, esepcially when its only a fragment of the screen
Joseph I don't know how you personally feel about this project when compared to your previous videos. But Goddamn man you absolutely killed it. This is easily in the top 10 videos ive seen on this website. Was absolutely glued for the entire 4 hours and sad when it ended. Cannot wait to see more.
Totally agreed! THIS is why I contribute to his Patreon. THIS HERE. A man who can do a three-video series, take a break, realize what he has written is not up to snuff, and redo it. And produce a masterpiece.
@@cheva1 Depends. If it comes to polish and gameplay especially the first entry can't really compete with Witcher 2 & 3. If you absolutely loved Witcher 3 you should defenitely play Witcher 2, its more similar to it than Witcher 1. If you haven't played Witcher 3 thoroughly and or don't plan to play 1 & 2 at the moment, I would recommend playing it first. Overall it's imo the best of the buch, the gameplay and polish beats both of them easily imo.
I just realized that my fight with Azar Javed was absolutely buggy: Berengar showed up, we had the pre fight talk and then we basically stomped Javed within a couple of seconds. I was pretty buffed with runes and potions, but still surprised how easy the fight was. Afterwards I was disappointed there was no additional dialogue with Berengar after the fight, now I know why. I hope he is happy somewhere in the bug dimension.
It's not a bug, you can stomp him without Berengar dying if you're buffed up enough, even on hard difficulty. It's just that the game doesn't really account for it in a meaningful way
@@thefebo8987 Do you have any specific issues you could share? I'm curious because I hear him get criticized a lot but no one ever bothers to elaborate except to say that mathewmatosis is better or that his videos or too long.
I had goosebumps all over when you explained the whole Alvin becoming a monster and reverting into a child right before being killed by Geralt's silver sword. Truly great storytelling both on the game's part and yours.
Introduction - 00:00
Chapter One: Fear The Chipmunk - 22:55
Chapter Two: Welcome To Hotel Vizima - 1:07:17
Chapter Three: Stuck In The Middle With Who? - 1:52:28
Chapter Four: Smoke Over The Water - 2:29:04
Chapter Five: Sympathy For Your Devil - 3:11:10
Finally!
You need a Witcher.
piss wizards ahoy
Legend
Proud of you
I'm going to greatly enjoy watching this over the course of several years
Hi RT
joseph anderson speedrun
Hi Kevin, it's nice to see you enjoy Joseph too!
Kiss me RT
Hi RT
Hate when youtubers milk their videos to get to the 10 minute mark...
i lol'd
😤
When I see that the video is exactly 10 minutes long I just skip.
@@grzegorzswist Same. You just know that the video probably only has 6 or 7min of actual content, and then 3min of filler, repeating themself, forced jokes, or whatever else they throw in to push the to 10:01 mark.
Triggerino Kripperino Issa joke bro. Cuz this video is four hours long 😂
Man walking through a wall with a sick ass line “i knew we’d meet again” isn’t a bug, it’s a power move
The only way to effectively assert dominance over a witcher is a greater display of eurojank
2:28:16
@Shaman Xeed One of the most hilarious things I've read in a UA-cam comment. Thank you very much for this
gaunter odimm only enemy
@Shaman Xeed i shouldn't expect good game taste from someone who's channel consist of themselves shitting on great games.
"If you considered sex a 'fail state' then witcher 1 could be horror game"
That actually is so true, I laughed audibly
I must be dumb… what does he mean by a “fail-state”?
@@Chicken_Inspector_kun Say your goal is to get through the game without triggering a sex scene. If you were to end up getting one, you'd 'fail' reaching your goal. Since it's no game over if that happens, you'd still be in a 'failed state' of the game, meaning you'd have to reload a save or restart the game.
@@runixzan2813 ahhh!!! Gotcha! Thanks
time stamp?
When
For those interested: no, you can't actually have sex with granny, werewolf or the stryga. These were jokes and the cards were drawn by @Wuggynaut
What a shame, I fell from my chair laughing at grannys card...
Someone should add them in the wikia of the witcher game
I.... fell for them hook, line and sinker :D
i got fucking jebaited
I completely bought that those were really in the game, holy crap
I expected this to be a critique of all 3 Witchers, but nearly 3 hours in, I've realized this is only about the first Witcher.
Now imagine what three will be like.
@@theshambler6814 8 hours I believe lmao
I'm glad he is doing all three, because I read the books and watched the Netflix version, but did not have a desire to play Witcher 1+2.
I haven't played Witcher 3 yet (it's on the steam backlog) but I would really like to. I need to play it before his last video comes out.
Donkringel Why don’t you wanna play the first 2?
@@roryfehring1045 well I cant speak for him but personally the first 2 appear to be very different games from each other and the witcher 3 all be it in the same trilogy
This coming out feels like an event, and that is a very rare thing on UA-cam. Congrats on this behemoth, and brb in 4 hours.
Casual Raz
Hi Raz! How are you doing? Hope you and the lady Tha lives with you are doing fine!
love how my favorite creator is in the comments of my other favorite. and yes I can have two favorites, I shouldn't have to choose between the two of you
@@blibbers8843 "If I have to choose between one *favorite creator* or another, then I'd rather not choose at all."
What writing a 4 hour review is like for someone who doesn't write reviews when
I remember believing the full video trilogy would be uploaded within a week or two of this one. Those were the days.
It was a glorious dream we shared.
Hahahaha 😭😭😭😭
waiting for part 3 but time and life has its road and we just gotta keep hoping :)
surely... soon...
yus
"I lost control over the scope of this project."
- Joseph "Time Genocider" Anderson
Joseph "Chronocide" Anderson
Joseph 'I may have gone too far in a few places' Anderson
Joe is Jaque is Alvin, the time traveler confirmer
"Morally ambiguous world"
Briefly shows footage from untitled goose game.
Quality shitposting here.
He originally planned to put more footage of that game in the video, but I guess it's cut content now
@@Rawyr Release the Anderson cut!!!
"If sex is used as a fail state, then The Witcher 1 can be played as a horror game."
Holy shit some of your lines in this are absolutely golden.
Real life would be easymode for that game
Not as good as the twin swords of facts and logic of Twitter centrists who go after both sides.
I mean, *that is* a joke paraphrased from the video itself
@@thatromanfella8377 dude I just quoted the video so please chill. The phrase is used when talking about part 4 somwhere past the three hour mark. Sorry if I offended you.
@@TheCivildecay Wow I feel sorry for you. Like do you not live in a country where Prostetution is legal or whats your deal?
dude, just want you to know that I’ve watched this and the Witcher 2 analysis about three times each since I found them a year ago. They are like my comfort food. Thank you for allowing me to escape reality with a wonderful and immersive analysis of an even worse reality :)))
These videos are probably the best UA-cam videos I've seen. The quality is Joseph's writing is impressive. No other long form content and video game analysis compares
Im currently watching it for the 5th time.
@@flarebear5346 Noah Caldwell Gervais is good, I'd recommend his vids if you're ever interested in a good time
I find myself coming back and re-watching these videos all the time
@@BKSF1 Your Noah Caldwell recommendation has changed my life fr
The first hour of the video made me want to play the trilogy, after the second hour I was determined to read all books and by the 4th hour I nauczę się polskiego i nigdy więcej nie będę mówić w innym języku.
its spreading
Oh cool, he’s been possessed
You get the best comment award sir
Lmao you win
I'd love to know what he says. But the youtube auto-translate that usually works well, just removes that section outright.
"Trust me, Joseph Anderson's channel gets really good after the 9-month introductory sequence!"
Andrew Cunningham Joseph should pin this comment
Thank you, Andrew Cunningham
9/11 likes, I don't want to ruin it.
Jesus Christ no kidding, two plus minutes of garbage about the video's length and I'm already out.
@「INTAHNETTO」 wut
1:26
"I learned polish to reread the books to in their native language"
*on the screen*
Storyteller: that is the lie
I see what you did there
Didn't even notice that detail, but I figured that was the lie because learning a language is really, really hard
@@123phi123 specially polish, its literal hell
@Shaman Xeed low quality bait
Butt Naked Gamer I doubt it's for bait. Had a look at his channel and he's just a sad boi making stuff about things he hate rather than what he likes. Also a weeb.. So yea XD
If he did learn Polish to read the books, he would have used Polish as the in game language. I prefer the Polish voices over the English voices.
The Order + Scoia'tael conga line in chapter 5 was the funniest part of the whole game for me. The elves stroll in, having decided that war crimes just gotta be committed here. Then, not 30 seconds later, the Order, not to be one upped, kick the door in and decide they're gonna show the filthy non-humans how to really murder defenseless, wounded non-combatants.
HUMANS NUMBER ONE!
@@windwaker105 more like WARCRIMES NUMBER ONE
lol
Kinda wild though how most of human/elf history was the elves trying desperately to do all they could to AVOID war at all costs.
@@MegaZetawas it though? Almost every single time, it’s the elves who go on the offensive and then once they are (predictably) obliterated the persecutions and pogroms follow.
Remember 4 years ago, when Joe apologized for the length of his 30 minute videos?
In 2035 Joe will release a week long review of the 7 year old game Witcher Souls Origins and not apologize for the video length, calling it now.
@@aslakgurnirsson1685 he'll apologize for it being shorter than normal
Oh yeah, just about at the start of this video
2055: Joseph Anderson, in the later years of his life, develops the worlds first fully functional AI that is programmed to come up with new observations faster than it can say them so he can use it to make a stream that talks about the witcher games for all eternity
@@bentleykennedy-stone673 lol
*scratches wrist
"You got any of that Witcher 2?"
I mean yeah man. I keep returning to this video waiting for my fix!
i've literally been checking the channel every day since the first vid released ^^
Right! It’s been 2 months 😖
Amazing 😂 I totally agree
He’s working on closed captions for it right now. He may or may not be translating it to different languages I’m not sure. He mentioned it on Twitter
"First of 3 videos"
*looks at duration*
oh boy this is going to be a wild ride
Marco and watching them can kinda be called a Wild Huuuuuuuunt, ei? Eeeeeeeeeeeei? I’m sorry
a wild hunt*
IT'S HAPPENING!!!
@@GoozeeeeeWHAT IS
@@jonahbrown5669 IT’S NOT HAPPENING!!!
It's my 4th time watching this video over 3 years, and I'm just now realizing that Alvin is the chipmunk who is to be feared. Masterpiece, Joe.
same here hahaha
"Witcher 1 is like watching a 3 year old climb to the top of a fridge"
Sounds like there's trouble afoot at the Anderson household...
I promise you, it's not just his lol
Winds howling
@@EvaHoshizora Omg you have kids too? Me too! I just love my kids, aren't they the greatest? Look:
*Smashes pictures of kids into your face repeatedly and hard enough to draw blood Family Guy style*
@@fredspofford I don't have kids (yet, sadly) - just help taking care of my cousin and my friends that have kids are telling me some horror stories lol
Unless you count cats as children, then I have two little devils that I love.
@@EvaHoshizora No pls dont have children www.reddit.com/r/collapse/comments/fw7cf2/people_think_theres_going_to_be_a_future_and_i/
The fact that this entire 4 hour vid doesn’t drag once is just amazing, a credit to your writing ability because it’s both incredibly interesting and sometimes funny all at once
Ehm drags all the time
Petr Sauer different opinions and interests
His humour is bizarre. 90% of the time he delivers it so monotone that it takes me several seconds to realise he was trying to be humorous.
@@meris8486 it's not like he's cracking jokes, he mostly just sneaks in a funny where he can.
These are critiques, after all, and they would be less easy to watch without his bizarre humor
Meris I’m not calling it a comedy, just that the humour (for me) is pretty funny when it shows up and shows up enough to keep your interest
baller move: "i had more fun reading the books than playing the games"
Hello Mark Brown guy
Tekno Pathetic
Lmao
@Henrik K Who has the balls to do such a thing
@Henrik K really I gotta see that - who was
@Henrik K Are you talking about MauLer because that's actually pretty old.
Can't wait to see his Witcher 1 remake critique in 10 years
Ha! Jokes on you! Im from the future... 50 years in the future!
Just here to confirm that we got Witcher 3 critique part 1/6 today.
It will drop before the Witcher 3 vid
The names from the wedding quest in the fourth chapter, as well as the quest itself are actually references to classic Polish literature.
"Balladyna" tragedy play is about titular Balladyna - a young woman, who goes on a raspberry gathering competition together with her sister, Alina, in order to decide which one is going to marry a prince (a ghost of the lake and various legendary and supernatural factors come into play as well here, just FYI). Alina actually wins the competition, but Balladyna, jealous of her sister, decides to murder her, which later plays into the whole tragedy.
With the names rhyming like that, Alina and Celina sound like a clear reference to that, as well as the raspberry bush located on the map. Also, the author of that play was Juliusz (Julius) Słowacki, and together with Adam Mickiewicz (whose poetry is referenced in said quest IIRC) they are two of the three most famous and celebrated Polish poets.
Not surprised you didn't pick up on that, there are probably really few people outside of Poland who did.
PS: As a BTW, "Raspberry" in Polish is called "Malina", so yeah :D
If anyone is further interested, here's a synopsis:
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Balladyna_(drama)
Also, the reference is further reinforced by the two girls' characters - IIRC, Alina in the play was the innocent, sweet one, while Balladyna was more cynical and pragmatic, which would fit the girls' personalities in the game.
EDIT: So I couldn't lay it to rest (pun unintended xD) and actually looked for that poem that Dandelion "writes": In Polish, those are actually first three stanzas of Mickiewicz's poem "Upiór" (Wraith). Just wanted to make sure, so I thought I'd share. Fun fact: Słowacki (author of "Balladyna") and Mickiewicz are known to not really get along, and they had this sort of rivalry, where they tried to sometimes one up each other through their poetry, poking fun at the other poet.
There are quite a few references like these to Polish literature in both the games and books, though I wouldn't possibly be able to name them all at this point... One that comes to my mind was from the books with the "Adieu's Free Company Song", which references this, only with changed lyrics:
ua-cam.com/video/6R9Q1V0OROU/v-deo.html
Where in the book, the mercenaries are singing that "Never will they be roped into pacts, and only money will they serve", the original was the opposite:
Never shall we enter alliances with kings
Never shall we bend our necks before power
For in Christ's service we are fulfilling orders
Servants of Mary!
Another one is pretty much the entirety of "Hearts of Stone", but there's so much, it would probably be easier for you to find some compilation list or something. That whole DLC is VERY heavily inspired by Polish folklore and literature.
Fascinating...
In Bulgarian too - "Raspberry" = "Малина" ("Malina") :
translate.google.com/#view=home&op=translate&sl=en&tl=bg&text=Raspberry
Fascinating.
Thanks for sharing!
@@greatgameplayswalkthroughs660 Exactly the same in Russian
Where's the "I was here when Joseph Anderson released the Witcher critique" t-shirts???
I mean everyone was in quarantine anyway...
Behind the "I upvoted/downvoted without watching" tshirts
Nacho Bear it’s finally here!!!
I'm replying to your comment just so there is some proof that I was here when it released..
Yeeeeah boi
"Think they'll notice if I just read an entire chapter of the book verbatim?"
"At 3 hours in? No chance."
That scene where you read the excerpt and how the scene matched more or less perfectly with the description was actually damn cool
time stamp?
@@ianpatrickclarksr4074 Uh, I am not gonna search through the whole video now, but you can search for it, somebody has took that clip and posted it separately where this guy reads the excerpt in perfect sync with the cutscene
3:31:42
46:45 "But as always, we need to ask ourselves: What about Shrek?"
Ah yes, the classic line in literature classes everywhere
He got that from super bunnyhop I believe
@@Seppevh No i think it's Vaush. From the joker ish most important movie of year rebottle.
@@marekwygnany924 Nah bunnyhop's witcher videos came out years before that guy even made his first video.
quattrocentobotte
I think Shreck is pretty over rated.
Why sherk is remembered: funny looking character, but good story.
@@Dorkeydaze also good use of pop music to help drive the story.
I didn't really intend to watch this in one sitting, but here we are.
too much free time right now, usually I would never casually watch an 4 hour video, but times are weird :D and its an amazing video about an amazing game, so that is helping :D
I didn't really intend to donate to the patreon but that pun was great.
@@Magmakojote Haha right, same here.. I would never casually watch an 4 hour video... never...
Oddly this was the only one of his videos I didn't watch in one sitting.
Man, what a super-dense video. So many little details and jokes and by-the-ways, it's very clear you spent a lot of time working on this. Congrats on finally being able to put it out there!
Can we expect some fan-art based on it?
1:48:23 Pity on the Kitty
2:14:47 Break the Werewolf Spell
3:40:04 More Fun than a Banquet
I guess those are the fake ones he mentioned in the Witcher 2 video xD
OH MAN, after the announcement of the remake I came back to search for the PITTY ON THE KITTY, thanks for putting this time stamp, AMEN
Where’s the bar one? Where he does the funny voice and mimics the the dudes asking for a drink or whatever lmao
@@Gokuu_Black 3:20:20 mimicking the brawler line _"We fight for money!"_ and then breaking down chuckling.
@@dividewalker5673 thank you thank you thank you I needed this
"The Witcher 2 video is longer than this one. Its about 5 hours." Made me smile ear to ear. Im hyped for your upcoming work. This video could easily be anyones magnum opus and yet its just the beginning.
I hope the third is like 10 hours long, would be a lovely way to pass time during the quarantine
The third one might end up being the longest video on youtube since he did spend 5 times as much time in that game and will also talk about the books in it.
@@alkyycarovny8334 it cant be the longest video on youtube since there are many videos on the maximum length from the past, and at the moment the max length is 12 hours. so you cant get a longest video at the moment since in the past the limit was higher
@@alkyycarovny8334 Look into Breath of the Wild 100% speedruns. Probably the only time I've seen 20-hour videos that aren't just looping memes.
This video was good, but I'd argue that his Zelda and last of us/ uncharted videos where written better. Like he said at the end, writing the video as one big one and then splitting it up into 3 has kind of hurt the focus of the script of the video, if that's the right word to use.
He also didn't touch on game play very much--he talked about the combat. But exploration/ quest "finding" didn't seem to be mentioned more deeply than in a off hand manner... But since I haven't played the game, perhaps they aren't really worth mentioning.
LOL on really ysure why I'm replying to you, but I guess "magnum opus" trigger me a bit. Those are strong words.
The most impressive part of this video is the fact that after over 4 hours of footage to edit you still managed to sneak in a ton of visual gags and jokes.
5000 hours man. Joe takes his job seriously and he'll always have my respect for that
I want a video compiling all of them, especially because he literally hides some of them in corners of the video, but I fear that video itself would be 4 hours long
wait....?
useless!?!?!
ITS NOT HIMM
2:26:27 "Geralt is surprised when a character named Con Artist tricks him" I spilled my coffee, thanks Joseph
This video released the same year I met my girlfriend. She is now my wife and we have our first child due in January. I doubt the W3 video will be done by then.
hope it’s all going well dude!
congratulations!
Joseph - "the third video will be the longest and the second will be about 5 hours long".
We're in for a ride boys
Well, while you've got an hour, be sure to check out the criminally underrated Nth Review: ua-cam.com/video/vCjWhIMV_4A/v-deo.html
Hell yes
I can't tell you how excited I am. I've been checking back daily to see if the new ones are up yet. I have probably watched this video 4 times, in bits and pieces. This guy has a talent for this.
game of thrones who?
I’m excited
"this video took 5000 hours to make"
*disables adblock*
He deserves the ad revenue
you are a good person
*keeps adblock on*
Shaman Xeed lol. feel free to pay his pantreon double to undo the terrible misjustice that is not watching advertisements because you’re smart enough to install an adblocker and avoid the constant headache.
Or you know go donate on patreon
I struggle to write an essay over three pages and this man's tossing out multiple 4-hour scripts
blahokay1 you can try adderall or weed, it helps you to spin out multiple ideas from every sentence of your reading material.
froot that’s not true. Weed can calm and relax your mind to the point where you are able to connect multiple thoughts and past experiences together, and it also makes you excited about what you read which pushes you even further to invest your intellect. Adderall can give you confidence in what you are thinking about which acts like a catalyst for intellectual output. But also you can use those drugs to get high and be dumb, is the latter experience more relatable?
froot that was just my experience when I was in university.
find stuff you care about. a lot easier to write about it if you’re invested in learning about it.
Barta Bhaus drugs don’t work the same for everyone.
the suspects introduction around 1:21:30 is so fucking funny the effort is very much appreciated
It literally cracked me up so heavily, i had to rewind
Obligatory “Joseph Anderson stretching to hit that 10 minute mark” comment
he could've stretched to hit that 4h20m mark imo
He stretched the vid to hit the 10 min mark... 25 times...
He does it every single video, doesn't even try to hide it.
If he stretched this video like some youtubers do (interruptions with music and stock images in middle of sentences, repeating, long intro, begging for subs) it would be 10 hour long
.
"Triss is back" *Shows Triss' back*. I love touches like this.
I love Triss' back.
2:07:53 “It’s goood that ada doesn’t see it vibrating because she’ll probably wanna use it with geralt”. How are lines like these so consistently spread throughout the video, i appreciate them immensely ❤️
Your explanation of the ending was so god-damned powerful it almost made me emotional for Alvin for real, damn!
«There’s gonna be a few weeks between this video and the witcher 2 video»
- Joseph Anderson 2020
rip
lmao four months later.
"It took longer than expected"
- Joseph Anderson 2023
He just tweeted its going up this sunday, 2nd of August i believe!
Sam Poole holy shit!!!
At the time of making this comment there’s over 8000 comments on this video, So I know you probably won’t see this one. I just want you to know that I love examining games in a critical way like this, and so this content is some of my favorite to listen to. I really hope you keep going with this. I want you to know that your work is appreciated and that there are people that love listening to it. I hope you are doing well and I hope you stay safe
Well. He saw it.
legend
William Apple you probably made him 3 and half cents good job!
aww thats real nice
"only one these is a lie by the way"
When he says "I also learned polish", the narration on screen says "Storyteller: This is the lie"
Clever girl...
damn you're so good at catching those tiny, almost imperceptible things
Polish is a nightmare for English speakers to learn, so of course. Beautiful language but super foreign to English speakers.
When I first heard it, I honestly thought a "witcher" was somebody who hunts witches. Like a fisher 😅
Honestly, i thought the same thing XD
.Fisher,
a large brown marten valued for its fur, found in North American woodland where it frequently preys on porcupines.
Thought it too, and honestly still feel that's the intention in the series. Witches don't have mutation or the skill, and Cirilla says she's a witcher. Not witch
Well, that's somewhat accurate, with the distinction that Geralt hunts witches to bed.
i mean it kinda still is
"The other two videos are already finished and will soon be released"
One year later and we still only have one of the two. Oh Joe, never change.
wasn't there stuff about re-editing due to changes in opinion and references to cyberpunk and whatnot
Yeah he said at the start of this year that he was pretty much ready to finish the editing on three but then Cyberpunk dropped and he would feel weird not talking about it as part of his review.
@@maxhornby6592 Thanks for the info. I was so confused as to why he said Witcher 3 was mostly done yet it’d been an entire year since he said that. That being said, he doesn’t need to compare them to Cyberpunk at all, IMO. It’s a Witcher games analysis, not a CDPR anthology retrospective, & could dilute the overall work a bit.
he also had like two more kids in the meantime
@@Trymr he is making a cyberpunk video. It's probably going to be longer then an hour because it's Joe, so yeah, we are going to wait quite a while
When i die, i would like to go to a place where Joseph will critique every existing game and movie for me. Forever.
Coincidentally, your Heaven would also be Joseph Anderson's personal Hell!
@@PsychOsmosis haha true
@@PsychOsmosis for it to be his personal Hell every single game should be about collecting moons.
And anime, don’t forget about anime
@@pedromarberger4709 filthy weeb loves it, anime girls would only make it bearable for him.
4 Hours and 18 Minutes of video game critique
Joseph be like: "Yeah, this is first of three videos about Witcher"
You should check out MauLer's channel. He is an even longer man, as far as content goes
@@chuckleshelicopterwigwamjo6305 yeah but it's not of as high a quality
@@A-N-X-I-E-T-Y I'm going to have to hard disagree on that one, I think MauLer makes legitimately better content. He also can admit a mistake, and tends to be consistent and logical in his points. Let's also not forget that Joseph is the guy who thinks that "If it doesn't scare me, that means it can't be a horror game." Which is genuinely retarded. I actually used to watch Jo a lot, but after long enough, I started to watch him less because he has some really smoothbrained takes sometimes.
Chuckles Helicopter Wigwam Jones
Only ever seen a few minutes of one of his videos, didn’t really grab me. What DOES interest me is how anytime I see one of his fans in the wild they talk shit about another video essayist. You’ve done admirably in taking up that banner!
@@whocansay2215 Yeah, a lot of video essayists say some really braindead things. So naturally, shit will be talked. That's what happens when you put yourself on a public platform. I don't think Joseph is stupid, but he can occasionally say some really stupid things. I still occasionally watch his videos though, which is why I'm in this comment section to begin with. He does still make some good stuff every now and again, but that doesn't mean you can't talk a little smack.
Bro said he had all 3 videos already finished 😂
46:38 "but as always, we have to ask ourselves -- What about Shrek?"
man, I ask this question every single day...
Crazy, but after watching this, I think Geralt might be a Witcher.
Hmm, not too sure. Just finished part 2, and it still seems like a stretch...
...We need more data, methinks
Yer a Witcher, Geralt.
Not bad.
What? A witcher? I dunno man seems a little far fetched.
@@Silvanfan Definitely could see Zoltan telling Geralt LOL
"But is this brewster's latest concontion...CRIME?"
Honestly this is really well done and unexpectedly one of the funniest videos I've ever seen. Congrats Joe.
I loved that whole part
That whole sequence had me laughing out loud, and I think he almost broke down at one part as well :D
The whole alliterative affair made this one of my favorite of Joe's videos. It was all spectacular.
I’m convinced writing that section contributed to 4000 of the 5000 hours spent on these reviews.
I loathe that approach to video critique
This is my safe video. Whenever I feel bad, anxious or just need something comforting, I am watching this. Several times since the upload. Thank you.
"If you treated sex as a fail state then Witcher 1 could be a horror game"
I laughed for 5 minutes straight
"Will you take pitty on the kitty?"
@Charlie Botterell it keeps getting weirder, you'll meet random characters for a single sidequest and bang them after 2 minutes of dialogue hahaha
@Madeleine L ah yes the "lie back and think of England" methof
as an asexual, it truly was a fail to look at something weird i don’t get not once, but twice...
@@paranira6466 since asexuals make up maybe 1% of the population, I dont see the addition of sex in a story driven game a "fail" you are just out of the norm. Not a bad thing, no shame intended.
When Raymond gets replaced, Geralt's wolf medallion will start shaking in the top left corner of the screen whenever you are close. That's how I learned.
Ooh interesting. Was it set to magic and detecting the disguise? Or was it set to danger and reacting to the threat, deciet, and upcoming 'betrayal'?
@@eris902 Now I imagine a tiny stove knob on the back of the amulet.
I think it shakes when the player sets the medallion to detect magic. Most people have the monster detection on, which is normal, so that's why they don't get alerted. It certainly fooled me when I first played it years ago.
@@eris902 amulet is not the spider sense, it can't react to "danger", only to magick and monsters
I thought it was a bug -_-
All the lies in the video for people who don't know:
- he didn't learn Polish obviously
- the grandma is not a romance option
- the werewolf is not a romance option
- the striga is obviously not a romance option
From where has he get those romance cards? I have totally believed those romance options were true because of them. They are very very well done.
@@julenexposito6910 He credited the artist on his Twitter. It's Wuggynaut. I was also fooled at first (for the grandma and Werewolf). They are so good!
Nooooooo my hot grandma fantasy is ruined :(((
holy heck!! it's an intricate lies lolol, i mean the artsyle is very believable. i laughed so hard when the striga came out, ahh he got me daarn
Though I wish the first one was true, that would be so cool.
happy 4 years to this video
"Just like twitter, everyone is awful here."
Yes.
i was about to say that this sentence is my favourite one in this whole video and i found your comment :)
My guy Joseph Anderson adding a critique of his critique at the end of his critique lol
"If you think of sex as a fail state the witcher 1 could be a horror game." LAMO
I do and it totally is.
lamo
*Lamo*
lamo
Laughing Ass My Off
"It takes dh'oine to know dh'oine" killed me, thanks for that
I'm so confused. The "Easter eggs" at 1:48:23 2:14:48 and 3:40:12 all have really well done images associated with them. However i can't find ANY reference to these scenes or cards anywhere on the web. I tried reverse image searching every card yet no results turn up. There is no way these images were just made for a joke in the video akin to him writing the introductions to the suspects in chapter two, right? He didn't literally draw these? Also the speech in the scene before the striga scene doesn't have subtitles which leads me to believe he just added that line himself.
Edit:
According to a comment on this video i found by loading all of them and ctrl+f'ing they were drawn by "Wuggynaut" and are a joke. Incredible.
Holy shit, I believed this as well. We got trolled.
OH MY GOD HE GOT ME TOO. Absolutely incredible.
God damnnn
He got me until the Striga one lmao
I actually believed him too, "can't believe I missed the granny card"
Me watching this having never played the first game: "Oh look! It's all those characters from the Gwent cards".
Me, having played neither: Look at all these new people!
Sameeee
It's really worth playing tho, even if its pretty old.
@Blue cigar Gaming He looks much more lore friendly than in third game
@Dutch Plan Der Linde gameplay is ok not "terrible" if you follow the tutorial its pretty nice
"The first of three videos" and it's already 4 hours long.
We're in for a ride, which is exactly what all of us need right now
Wait he actually says that? Lmao, i haven't started watching
I love how you can just sense game engines from how they look, feel, sound; it's so easy to tell. I've never played Witcher 1 but from footage it really reminded me of KOTOR, only to find out it's on the same engine.
Source Engine is the best example, I think - it's just got such a unique look and feel, that it can't be mistaken for anything else lmao
One of the most satisfying parts of this game for me was a random encounter with the alchemist from the Visima Trade Quarter workshop, where you have a conversation where he calls out an alchemical treatise written by Kalkstein as a pseudo scientific bluff. If you go on and find this book, it is much longer than most in-game books and written like an actual academic paper (for fictional alchemic theories, of course). If you understand it well, you can talk to the alchemist again and defend the theory presented in the book, with the alchemist asking you trick questions aimed at poking holes in the theory. Finally you convince him that it makes sense and he gives you some random alchemy scrolls. This was a very minor thing, but being able to have an actual academic debate in this game was really cool.
I really enjoyed going through that encounter when I recently first played Witcher 1, but for an entirely different reason.
When my Geralt got my hands on Kalkstein's treatise I didnt even read through the thing, I just wanted that new entry in my journal. So when the alchemist suddenly started asking me about the treatise and throwing curveball questions and all that stuff, I just willed up whatever I could remember from HS chemistry and winged that shit. I ended up getting only one question wrong lmao.
But jokes aside, the amount of details in that game the devs threw in, and the fact they made it incredibly fun is honestly like the work of God imho. Im currently playing through Witcher 2 and theres just so many aspects of the game that dont live up to my expectations, Witcher 1 will always hold a place in my heart
@@fokmurphy5203 well, in W2 there is an encounter with a ghost, where you answer his questions about small details of one battle, about which you learn from side-dialogues you pay no attention when you hear them :) That's when you retrieve the Dun Banner.
What about the drunken philosophical debate with Zoltan in the Hairy Bear tavern, regarding the evolution of Evil?
No one wants to waste tome doing that shot
@@fokmurphy5203much love for the Witcher 1, however flawed it may seem today it is special ❤
I love how zoltan looks like a squashed dumpling in the first game
the artist that created that model should go back to making swords.
@@just1it1moko Sword of Dumplings reference?
ahahahah
I'm sad this isn't how he always looks.
i love how he misleads when talking about alvin because of the plot twist, well done joseph
Its officially been 2 years since this video. He's going to drop the Witcher 3 video today. I can feel it.
3 years now, damn :(
4 years, you cant make this up...
Nah
Close but no cigar
Ah yes Elden Ring also known as Witcher 3
So close
no
Joe, I literally never comment on UA-cam, and you probably won't see this, but this video is incredible. I just wanted to let you know that I am looking forward to the even longer videos with bated breath.
Longer? Than 4 hours? Madman
@@extrnalsorce4974 He SAID in this video that his Witcher 2 video is even longer
I don't think you know the definition of literally bud.
@@iwanfishz9 He _literally_ has one comment on his channel and it is this. Smartarse
Yes and which still counts as a comment which invalid that he has never ever literally commented on youtube.
If he had said "I HAD never commented on youtube" then I be fine with that but he didn't which peeves me as a gamer.
"I also learned polish to read it in the original language", was this video supposed to come out on April Fools?
he specifically said he'd avoid releasing it on April fools
He also said one was a lie and I bet it is that one
Haha i actually learn this because my father taught me, polish books are a bit better
that's the lie
look at the bottem left when he says that, i mean come on dude
"With your sword and facts and logic you have to slaughter people on both sides, the dream of every twitter centrist" LMAO that caught me off guard
It's at 3:09:42 btw
We're now at a point where the Witcher 4 might actually release before the Witcher 3 video. Definitely one of those holy grail videos I'm waiting to hit my notifications like a comet some day
geralt: exists
every female in existence: we‘ll bang, ok?
almost as if it was a fantasy for a male audience
they be like: "Fancy a shag?"
No, I did not imagine a Mass Effect crossover
Maybe cause geralt is hot af ?
He's a very attractive guy. And they dig the whole dark and mysterious thing, also the scars.
,,I learned Polish..."
You did what.
Edit: please stop explaining its a lie
i already know
I’m still not sure if that’s the lie or not 😂😂
@@DesTr069 if it isnt a lie im impressed
Lmao same
Since he subtitled the whole damn 4hr video with Polish captions, i think hes false
@@sushantheshreztha8777 i dont watch videos with subtitles so i didnt know but if thats the case props to him
"I learned Polish to read the books in their original language"
Poles: *DOUBT*
I'm really curious to what extent. Like he was able to read the entire book series in polish? Or certain parts he translated and compared? I mean I do think the best way to learn a foreign language is to read/watch stuff in it and really make it a part of your everyday life, but that's an awful big claim.
To be fair, it could have been a tongue in cheek jab at how dedicated he's been, but on the other hand he has been at this for long enough he might have actually done it!
@@0Enigmatic0 He said one of the things he mentioned is a lie and when he says he learned polish you can see "its a lie" on the screen
You can call it coincidence but you know
@@cyjan3k823 Hah, didn't catch that. That's clever. Thanks for pointing that out :)
You reckon it's worth learning for the books. Will being half russian help even in the slightest, I know there are similarities in some ways, but is it enough to really help at all?
Another analytical note: the ending is a mirror to the final mission from Witcher 3 (battling toward tower towards a child of time and space). After playing through all 3 games in order I couldn’t help but think of Alvin... and how with Ciri, Geralt was going to make things right where he failed the little guy- preventing the White Frost and being the father he could be.
Witcher 3 brings it full circle by giving you the chance to do right what you got wrong in Witcher 1.
It's so sweet of you to say that! Many people have said that they didn't feel anything towards Alvin in the 1st game and that he was just an annoying nuisance at best. For me it was the opposite (maybe bc I'm a woman with a strong maternal "instinct") and I felt so bad that no matter what we choose, that sweet boy is lost to us :( Thanks for making me feel less alone in this!
I don't know if you mention or discover this at some point but Geralt wasn't always the protagonist of Witcher 1. He was made the protagonist late in the game's development. For most of the game's development the player would create their own witcher at the beginning of the game. This makes the absence of Yennefer and the context of making the main romance option choosing between Shani or Triss.
Ben Botanel a lot of jank makes more sense now. This really puts some shit into perspective actually. The weird ad hoc nature of the amnesia and it’s comings and goings. The Triss and Shani thing especially. Thankfully that never happened, that would’ve been really bad
@@setlerking Yeah; a custom Witcher would not have worked for game 1. That said, I wouldn't mind seeing a Witcher game that goes back 100 years or so and allows the player to make their own Witcher. Since CD Projekt Red have said that they're finished with Geralt's story, it would be fitting for the next game to do this.
@@matthewmuir8884 I think if CDPR did a game were you made your own witcher and fought in the attack of Kaer Morhen would be really cool, though it would take away multiple endings as you would have to die with the rest of the massacred witchers, for obvious reasons
@@matthewmuir8884 especially if you could choose your witcher school, like the cat or bear. ( I have no idea what this would mean for the lore tho)
@@raioh4747 That would be really cool. For that though, it would probably have to be set quite a bit in the past, before the fall of the witchers.
There is a third way to permanently bypass the Old Lady at Shani's place (which I actually originally thought is the only one): if you beat Thaler in the drinking game, he will give you a book about Redanian spies. You can then gift that book to the Shoecleaner, who is actually Ori Reuven: former assistant of good old Dijkstra (and his inspiration for the fake name he uses in Witcher 3). In return, he will give you 'Prophet Lebioda's signet ring' mentioning that 'Old people greatly respect it'.
When shown to the Old Lady, she will think you are Lebioda's priest disguised as a Witcher, and will be more than happy to let you meet Shani on every subsequent visit.
That's so bonkers holy shit
I think he knows. When he was talking about how everybody in Witcher have more story than they appear Shoecleaner was in background
"maybe gonna take a few weeks to take feedback and polish up the 2nd video"
he's doing the thing again where he underestimates how mugh time/work things take lmao
he just wants to give people some time with this video, and he said on twitter he rerecorded some audio and wanted to properly finish up the video.
he hasn’t forgotten! multiple hour long videos just take some time :)
@@7211_
Hopefully he provides some actual analysis and doesn't just provide a plot summary.
@@colin-campbell you honestly think that this whole vid is just a summary? seriously?
LudicrousKid
Well, yes, I’ve watched it and I can’t really find any thoughtful analysis whatsoever. Unless you have evidence on the contrary?
@@colin-campbell bro did we watch the same vid
“I learned Polish to read the originals in the original language.”
Dude, massive respect, I’m trying to do that with Italian for the Divine Comedy and it’s no small order to learn a new language
Edit: if that was the lie…
Well then, good luck! I think your task may be a bit more difficult since Dante and modern Italian do not translate 100%, but have fun reading the Divine Comedy!
I’m pretty sure the lie he was referring to is when he said the game’s ending is bad, so poorly received, and then criticizes introducing Jacques so late in the game as the worst bit of storytelling we’ve seen so far.
Then he spammed the screen with all the comments about Jacques and Alvin being the same person.
At that point, he talks about why he lied and then talks about how brilliant the ending of the game actually is.
He’s probably correct about most people missing that connection initially since the connection is not overtly stated but rather hinted at and suggested.
There’s no reason to believe he lied about learning Polish to read the books in the original language.
@@laurent5176 in the video he did on Witcher 2, he said he filled this video with lies, 1) because so few have played it and wouldn’t know better, but also 2) because the game itself lies to you through its so-many-unreliable characters. But my guess in particular was because (as someone who hasn’t played it before) right near the beginning he basically said he told 2 truths and a lie, and i was impressed about the language learned as a possible way to reinforce his own appreciation for the game, which i still think is cool… if it isn’t the lie. But because he said there were so many lies in the game and (playfully) in his video, it’s hard to know what’s actually true. So few people would learn a full language just to understand a hobby better
@@ArchetypeGotoh At 2:18:10 He lied about being torn between two sorceresses. And then there’s the whole lie about the ending. I’m sure there are a bunch of others sprinkled through, but I’m pretty sure that he points out the intentional inaccuracies within a few minutes of making the joke (which is what I would call them, rather than lies.) And it seems like he sprinkles them through his video as bait for comments.
That’s why I personally don’t think he’d lie about something like learning a new language to read the books: there’s nothing about that that could be considered funny. And there’s also no way that any of the viewers could ‘correct’ the error in his comments.
You’re right that few people would go out to learn a new language just to read books in the original language; but then again, there are fans that are so dedicated to their favorite TV show/game/books/movies/comics, that they go out and learn *fake* languages, like Klingon or Quenya and Sindarin (Tolkien’s Elvish languages.) So, I still don’t think that he was lying about learning Polish.
Either way, I think it’s pretty cool that you’re looking to learn Italian to read Dante. Good luck, and have a great weekend.
@@laurent5176 if he had learned Polish, he would not have gone on how Witcher was a weird word, and simply explained the reason for it being like it is.
First I saw the time markers on the video and I thought, "That madman."
Then I read the description stating this is the first of three videos on The Witcher and I thought, "That tortured genius."
"First of 3 videos"
looks at duration
*heavy sweating*
"The first of three"
I'm sorry, _three_?
I can't wait to spend 12 hours rewatching this series in the future.
Fookin quarentine, I've already watched it 3 times in the background while playing xbox. Nevermind the first initial viewing.
Can't wait for part 2 and 3
@Shaman Xeed LOL so we should only review "good" games? Or more specifically games Shaman Xeed wants to see obviously. Do you know what review means?
Yea I'll bet Joe takes this suggestion to heart after getting 700k views in 5 days on a 4 hour long video about a 13 year old game.
We will DEARLY miss your subscription
@@wslaxmiddy hahaha Ouch.
yes you can i believe in you
@Shaman Xeed "glorfied video essay"
no dude its just a video essay
I actually managed to kill Javed before he could get Berengar, but then Berengar just stood there awkwardly. When I talked to him he only says one line that amounts to. “Sorry for taking so long, I had to make up my mind.”
In case you don't know, Joseph has stated that he's re-recording his second video and remaking it. We should give him time to be satisfied with his work.
When all 3 parts come out, we will have something like a 15 hour epic to rewatch once every month. :)
ffs, of course he is. but if it means a better video in the end I can't really complain
He said an early December release in his last stream
Siesta ElMuerto are you joking? Because I want to know where he streams if you’re not
@@is3hunnid Check out his second channel
@@esloquees3854 Did he actually? Why is he remaking the video and which part of the video is he remaking?
Dude, I'm an hour and a half in so far and I'm blown away by the level of production on this 4 hour video! I can't believe how much work you've done on this, it just screams passion project. Excellent job man, this is legitimately inspiring
The amount of inside jokes in this video just brings a smile to my face, loved it when 2B appeared in the mirror, or when it goes black and white anytime "useless" is said, esepcially when its only a fragment of the screen
These inside jokes are killing UA-cam morale!
what??
Wait....
USELESS?
Can I humbly request you explain the references? I'm only a casual fan, seen 30-40% of Joe's videos, but would love to know more.
@@MrRamikas they're meme's from his streams, 2b is just brought up all the time, and the useless meme comes from his persona 5 streams
I’ve graduated from college and had two kids since this video dropped. Love all your videos!
Joseph I don't know how you personally feel about this project when compared to your previous videos.
But Goddamn man you absolutely killed it. This is easily in the top 10 videos ive seen on this website. Was absolutely glued for the entire 4 hours and sad when it ended. Cannot wait to see more.
Totally agreed! THIS is why I contribute to his Patreon. THIS HERE. A man who can do a three-video series, take a break, realize what he has written is not up to snuff, and redo it. And produce a masterpiece.
Hot damn, that was the most invested I'll ever be in a game I'll never play.
At least play Witcher 3 in this pandemic. Its worth it.
Why never play? I'd suggest you play all three in order.
@@Joe_Friday i only have witcher 3, is it worth playing over the other 2 as well?
@@cheva1 Depends. If it comes to polish and gameplay especially the first entry can't really compete with Witcher 2 & 3. If you absolutely loved Witcher 3 you should defenitely play Witcher 2, its more similar to it than Witcher 1.
If you haven't played Witcher 3 thoroughly and or don't plan to play 1 & 2 at the moment, I would recommend playing it first. Overall it's imo the best of the buch, the gameplay and polish beats both of them easily imo.
Dusty Thanks :) I think I’m going to play through Witcher 3 then!
The more I watch Joseph's content, the more I understand how much he was scarred by Fallout 4
I just realized that my fight with Azar Javed was absolutely buggy: Berengar showed up, we had the pre fight talk and then we basically stomped Javed within a couple of seconds. I was pretty buffed with runes and potions, but still surprised how easy the fight was. Afterwards I was disappointed there was no additional dialogue with Berengar after the fight, now I know why.
I hope he is happy somewhere in the bug dimension.
It's not a bug, you can stomp him without Berengar dying if you're buffed up enough, even on hard difficulty. It's just that the game doesn't really account for it in a meaningful way
So I've finished watching this and wanted to ask...*scratches neck*... y'all got anymore of these Witcher videos?
He's making 2 more
@@blzy2305 Isn't it 3 more? I thought the books were getting a separate video.
Here's a good critique video in the mean time: ua-cam.com/video/vCjWhIMV_4A/v-deo.html
Sinklar he’s making one on
B&W
@@sinklar7946 books are going to be included in the w3 vid, along with thronebreaker mention
Nobody:
Joseph Anderson: Hmm, think I might just create a new academic discipline based around the Witcher series.
nah he is he bad copy of matthewmatosis. avarage analysis
The Febo why are you watching a 4 hour video then?
@@thefebo8987 why are you here then?
@@modvind looked if he has improved but nope.
@@thefebo8987 Do you have any specific issues you could share? I'm curious because I hear him get criticized a lot but no one ever bothers to elaborate except to say that mathewmatosis is better or that his videos or too long.
I had goosebumps all over when you explained the whole Alvin becoming a monster and reverting into a child right before being killed by Geralt's silver sword. Truly great storytelling both on the game's part and yours.