Happy Monday Tim! Here's my reaction to your piece today. It surely is a popular topic, I'm seeing this topic spoken of often. I'm 65, and also an introvert and I prefer it. For years though I was that friend you recommended. I sent cards, flowers, offered meals, but I found as with age it wasn't appreciated nor reciprocated. That famous platitude, YOU Shouldn't HAVE was a common response until one day it meant stop. So I did. Now, I do these same gestures to strangers. I am an encourager by personality and spirit and I help others to feel valued. We live in an odd culture and many don't want to hold friendships together. One sided actions are never fulfilling. I don't rule out the busy excuse but I do rule in thinking that many just don't care to reciprocate in relations. Thus, I accept and hold no hard feelings. I have let go to many and now have one friend who is like a sister. 😊
Going on 3 yrs retired in Aug. 50th high school reunion coming up Sept. I enjoy a handful of close friends who try to connect periodically. I don't have to, need or want to go somewhere everyday. In fact, I still protect my personal time. I was starting to relax a little after all the c-19 stuff and then was exposed to it just a few days ago but I still love my besties anyway. Who better to be exposed with/to/by??? Still enjoy NOT having that work routine and deciding what if anything I will do everyday. The days and years are flying by. Spending time being more mindful and in present moments...and decluttering feels so good.
@@luannianke8110 huge fan of decluttering! Our son introduced me to it some years back with a TED talk by The Minimalists. I wasn’t a hoarder but was an over-accumulator. Nice things but so much more than was needed. Now, glad I can go to a store, look around, leave without anything if there’s nothing I truly need or want, and be content. 🥰
That’s the truth! I retired April 2019. Then Covid. I should have kept more friends over the years. I live in Charlotte NC and if you don’t keep up with your friends where you met them in this city, you lose them.
@@VTLovesSF I agree and would have been nice. As context, we were members of a wonderful, very large church across town from our house for many years. When we left, we did keep two couple friends, but there were some others we should have prioritized. We both worked and were raising children and found another church and some new friends there. Plus, caring for my sweet mother. So, we were super busy and didn’t really think of the day that seemed then to be way in the future when we’d be retirees.
Something important we don't always think about. Happy you brought it up. I lost my work "family" of 25 years when I retired. It's hard to maintain those relationships when people are no longer together constantly.
After my husband and I retired we moved 2000 miles to be near grandchildren. My husband wasn't worried about staying in touch with coworkers but I have several close friends and we stay in touch by texting.
Those dailies are tough! I agree with you on this and I am not retired yet, I still have this problem. Few friends seems to be the norm now. Your tips are great advice too. I text with several friends that are long time friends.
People think i am retired but i still work 2-3 days a week. But i have a friend who i have lunch with once a month and we catch up and don’t really talk except for that monthly lunch. Seems to work! Another friend we never seem to be able to get together but we talk at least once a week. Another friend is have had since the 6 th grade we hardly ever talk but we pick up right where we left off like we talked yesterday! Friends are so important to our wellbeing 😊
You are right about many of us moving at retirement. That shakes up friendships, for sure. I moved and left friends of 20+ years behind. As a matter of fact, 4 of our group of 6 moved. We zoom once a month, but it's not the same as sitting across the table at a restaurant and chatting. It's better than nothing, but not as good as being in person. We have made amazingly good friend in our new location and for that I am extremely grateful. Hey, Tim, don't forget your mom. She is a good friend to you and you to her. That friendship counts.
You are forging ahead with your channels well done! Work colleagues who you are happy to see at work and have work in common may fade away in time. I’ve got a handful of good friends I’ve had for decades. It’s good to call, or a card in the post , lunch or drinks is good. Theatre outings. Be there for the good and bad times. You have to work at a friendship😊❤️🇬🇧
I live 23 miles north of where I worked the last 23 years and my closest friends I had at work live about the same distance south of the office. As much as we promised to do activities together when we all retired about the same time, sadly it fizzled out. Even meeting halfway has become a hassle with all the traffic & construction in Florida. Thankfully, I've made new friends in a cycling group.
Have been a " Loner " ALL my Life. This was By Choice. Just Very Much Enj🙂y " Alone " time. Many Reason's for that. As Life went along, My 2nd Hub's and I, with A-l-l of the Hour's we were " Working," did NOT Have Time, Literally, to " Socialize." Neither of us were " into " that anyway. So we "Retired" at an Early Age. Said All of that to Say . . . Few Friendship's After Our " Retirement," really does Not Apply Here. Not to Say that we did Not Have a couple of Close "Friend's" over the Year's but are No Longer "with" us. We did Attend several Different Function's and Thing's. When we Did, we could Be the Life of the Party and Did Enj🙂y "Being" In that Moment. We Totally D-O just Cherish One Another & "Allow" One Another Our Own Space, which We and Everyone does Need. When we are Together, "Cherish" that also. So Live and Take "1" Day at a Time. 🙂
Always enjoy your posts. I never had a lot of close friends, but had many good acquaintances. I am still this way. I spend most of my time with my family and a small group of women I travel with from time to time.
It’s interesting to hear your learnings about friendships now that you’ve been retired for over a year. I retire at end of this year and it’s one of the things that I worry about for myself since most of my socializing is at work, and I am a happy loner otherwise. Reading through comments, I realize it’s OK to be a loner. I will keep in touch with a few closest friends by text and occasional dinners, and I look forward to making new friends through my retirement activities.
I believe that there are many people who don’t know the true meaning of friendship. Some relationships are so one-sided. You certainly learn who your real friends are in crisis situations.
I have older friends/coworkers from one of my places of employment and we meet every 3 months for breakfast. (one of these women I consider a best friend and we try to get together every month.) I have another friend (younger) from my last job that we try to have dinner with a few times a year. I've also made a new friend at a church I joined when I retired and we see each other at church and try to go out somewhere once a month. I've reconnected with a high school friend in another state and we get together once or twice a year. And of course there's always texting and following each other on Facebook and sending memes. I've really made it a priority to cultivate and maintain friendships. I also have joined a Women's Group at my Church and have met many new casual friends and this winter I will be joining a local fitness group and hopefully will make new friends there as well.
I am a magnet for people who must think I am a ‘dear Abby’ character. I may not be the smartest person, but I try to give good advice. I still have childhood friends, school friends, and work friends . To me a friend is a person who sincerely cares how you are doing and you care how they are doing, now thats the kind of friend everyone should have in their lives. I believe some people come into your life for a special purpose, and it’s up to us to find out why. You, Tim, have given me many laughs just watching some of the stuff you do. So I would label you a ‘UA-cam’ friend. Thanks for giving me thoughts …and I thought my brain was full! Have a great day.
Happy Monday Tim!
Here's my reaction to your piece today.
It surely is a popular topic, I'm seeing this topic spoken of often. I'm 65, and also an introvert and I prefer it. For years though I was that friend you recommended. I sent cards, flowers, offered meals, but I found as with age it wasn't appreciated nor reciprocated. That famous platitude, YOU Shouldn't HAVE was a common response until one day it meant stop. So I did. Now, I do these same gestures to strangers. I am an encourager by personality and spirit and I help others to feel valued.
We live in an odd culture and many don't want to hold friendships together. One sided actions are never fulfilling. I don't rule out the busy excuse but I do rule in thinking that many just don't care to reciprocate in relations. Thus, I accept and hold no hard feelings. I have let go to many and now have one friend who is like a sister. 😊
Thank you for sharing your story!
It’s a challenge making friends after retirement and sometimes I feel invisible these days. Great advice and thanks for sharing ❤
Going on 3 yrs retired in Aug. 50th high school reunion coming up Sept. I enjoy a handful of close friends who try to connect periodically. I don't have to, need or want to go somewhere everyday. In fact, I still protect my personal time. I was starting to relax a little after all the c-19 stuff and then was exposed to it just a few days ago but I still love my besties anyway. Who better to be exposed with/to/by??? Still enjoy NOT having that work routine and deciding what if anything I will do everyday. The days and years are flying by. Spending time being more mindful and in present moments...and decluttering feels so good.
@@luannianke8110 huge fan of decluttering! Our son introduced me to it some years back with a TED talk by The Minimalists. I wasn’t a hoarder but was an over-accumulator. Nice things but so much more than was needed. Now, glad I can go to a store, look around, leave without anything if there’s nothing I truly need or want, and be content. 🥰
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🙂
Thank You Tim, I look forward to watching your channel💥🌷✨
❤
🙂
That’s the truth! I retired April 2019. Then Covid. I should have kept more friends over the years. I live in Charlotte NC and if you don’t keep up with your friends where you met them in this city, you lose them.
Friendship works both ways, they could have kept in touch with you
@@VTLovesSF I agree and would have been nice. As context, we were members of a wonderful, very large church across town from our house for many years. When we left, we did keep two couple friends, but there were some others we should have prioritized. We both worked and were raising children and found another church and some new friends there. Plus, caring for my sweet mother. So, we were super busy and didn’t really think of the day that seemed then to be way in the future when we’d be retirees.
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😊
Great talk,, Tim!
Thank you!
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Something important we don't always think about. Happy you brought it up. I lost my work "family" of 25 years when I retired. It's hard to maintain those relationships when people are no longer together constantly.
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😊
After my husband and I retired we moved 2000 miles to be near grandchildren. My husband wasn't worried about staying in touch with coworkers but I have several close friends and we stay in touch by texting.
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😊
True. I travel to see my grandchildren. My friends never know when I’m in town so I don’t get included unless I let everyone know I’m back.
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Good ideas! ❤
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Those dailies are tough! I agree with you on this and I am not retired yet, I still have this problem. Few friends seems to be the norm now. Your tips are great advice too. I text with several friends that are long time friends.
😊
Thank you Tim.
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😊
So true very good points.thank you Tim 😎
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☺
People think i am retired but i still work 2-3 days a week. But i have a friend who i have lunch with once a month and we catch up and don’t really talk except for that monthly lunch. Seems to work! Another friend we never seem to be able to get together but we talk at least once a week. Another friend is have had since the 6 th grade we hardly ever talk but we pick up right where we left off like we talked yesterday! Friends are so important to our wellbeing 😊
💚👍
🎯
👍
You are right about many of us moving at retirement. That shakes up friendships, for sure. I moved and left friends of 20+ years behind. As a matter of fact, 4 of our group of 6 moved. We zoom once a month, but it's not the same as sitting across the table at a restaurant and chatting. It's better than nothing, but not as good as being in person. We have made amazingly good friend in our new location and for that I am extremely grateful. Hey, Tim, don't forget your mom. She is a good friend to you and you to her. That friendship counts.
💚💚💚
🙂
Nice thoughts ❤
Not retired, yet😂
You are forging ahead with your channels well done!
Work colleagues who you are happy to see at work and have work in common may fade away in time.
I’ve got a handful of good friends I’ve had for decades.
It’s good to call, or a card in the post , lunch or drinks is good. Theatre outings.
Be there for the good and bad times.
You have to work at a friendship😊❤️🇬🇧
Agree. You have to work at friendship.
👍👍👍
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I live 23 miles north of where I worked the last 23 years and my closest friends I had at work live about the same distance south of the office. As much as we promised to do activities together when we all retired about the same time, sadly it fizzled out. Even meeting halfway has become a hassle with all the traffic & construction in Florida. Thankfully, I've made new friends in a cycling group.
💚
🙂
Have been a " Loner " ALL my Life. This was By Choice. Just Very Much Enj🙂y " Alone " time. Many Reason's for that. As Life went along, My 2nd Hub's and I, with A-l-l of the Hour's we were " Working," did NOT Have Time, Literally, to " Socialize." Neither of us were " into " that anyway. So we "Retired" at an Early Age. Said All of that to Say . . . Few Friendship's After Our " Retirement," really does Not Apply Here. Not to Say that we did Not Have a couple of Close "Friend's" over the Year's but are No Longer "with" us. We did Attend several Different Function's and Thing's. When we Did, we could Be the Life of the Party and Did Enj🙂y "Being" In that Moment. We Totally D-O just Cherish One Another & "Allow" One Another Our Own Space, which We and Everyone does Need. When we are Together, "Cherish" that also. So Live and Take "1" Day at a Time. 🙂
💚💚💚
☺
Always enjoy your posts. I never had a lot of close friends, but had many good acquaintances. I am still this way. I spend most of my time with my family and a small group of women I travel with from time to time.
💚👍
It’s interesting to hear your learnings about friendships now that you’ve been retired for over a year. I retire at end of this year and it’s one of the things that I worry about for myself since most of my socializing is at work, and I am a happy loner otherwise. Reading through comments, I realize it’s OK to be a loner. I will keep in touch with a few closest friends by text and occasional dinners, and I look forward to making new friends through my retirement activities.
😊
I believe that there are many people who don’t know the true meaning of friendship. Some relationships are so one-sided. You certainly learn who your real friends are in crisis situations.
thankfull for technology I moved to another continant so we are able to stay in touch...With time difference it can be challenging.
🙂
I have older friends/coworkers from one of my places of employment and we meet every 3 months for breakfast. (one of these women I consider a best friend and we try to get together every month.) I have another friend (younger) from my last job that we try to have dinner with a few times a year. I've also made a new friend at a church I joined when I retired and we see each other at church and try to go out somewhere once a month. I've reconnected with a high school friend in another state and we get together once or twice a year. And of course there's always texting and following each other on Facebook and sending memes. I've really made it a priority to cultivate and maintain friendships. I also have joined a Women's Group at my Church and have met many new casual friends and this winter I will be joining a local fitness group and hopefully will make new friends there as well.
💚👍
Good topic.
I don't know why my friends put up with me. I'm so content alone. I'm ridiculous.
I am a magnet for people who must think I am a ‘dear Abby’ character. I may not be the smartest person, but I try to give good advice. I still have childhood friends, school friends, and work friends . To me a friend is a person who sincerely cares how you are doing and you care how they are doing, now thats the kind of friend everyone should have in their lives. I believe some people come into your life for a special purpose, and it’s up to us to find out why. You, Tim, have given me many laughs just watching some of the stuff you do. So I would label you a ‘UA-cam’ friend. Thanks for giving me thoughts …and I thought my brain was full! Have a great day.
Thank you!!
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changing the subject
ive heard of McKays used book store Chattanooga…might be a good place for you to check out for me
I know it well.