Why Do People Hate This Financial Advice? (It Drives The Internet Crazy!)
Вставка
- Опубліковано 17 жов 2024
- 💵 Create Your Free Budget! Sign up for EveryDollar ⮕ ter.li/6h2c45
📱Download the Ramsey Network App ⮕ ter.li/ajeshj
🛒 Visit The Ramsey Store ⮕ ter.li/7vyom2
📞 Have a question for the show? Call 888-825-5225 weekdays from 2-5 pm ET or send us a message ter.li/n88ly5
Explore More Shows from Ramsey Network:
🎙️ The Ramsey Show ⮕ ter.li/ng9950
🍸 Smart Money Happy Hour ⮕ ter.li/9gcp3d
🧠 The Dr. John Delony Show ⮕ ter.li/2u3mc0
💰 George Kamel ⮕ ter.li/1elws8
💡 The Rachel Cruze Show ⮕ ter.li/n2u6jc
💼 The Ken Coleman Show - Highlights ⮕ ter.li/1rbjr2
📈 EntreLeadership ⮕ ter.li/ktxv2k
Ramsey Solutions Privacy Policy
www.ramseysolu...
This is fabulous advice❣️ I felt like I could have no say on finances when I left work to be a stay-at-home mum. But my late husband was insistent that it was OUR money. Not HIS money. We shared everything in life and were soulmates. I miss him so much. We built ourselves a strong marriage and strong finances.
So sorry for your loss. How lucky you were to have such a beautiful marriage and a kind husband. Stay blessed, safe and healthy.
This makes my eyes rain
You were very lucky.
Combining finances forces you to communicate and work through issues that would have otherwise been shoved under a rug. It allows for a much deeper marriage.
For what it’s worth, statistics show 75% of divorces are initiated by the wife.
Combine that with our country has two different legal systems, common law, and communal law. When it comes to financial matters, the two different types of state law matters significantly.
I am a person who went through a divorce. I’m not I’m proud of that, I’m embarrassed about it. I didn’t initiate the divorce. And I’m not gonna air dirty laundry here, just providing the background. I will share the divorce benefited the other person by several million dollars.
I’m well past child bearing age. I’m not gonna be sharing my DNA with anyone to create another human. Also, when it comes to financial matters such as inheritance, in a situation where both people already have adult children, there’s a lot of things to consider.
In my case, my income and net worth is dramatically different than my partners.
We’ve come up with a financial arrangement that works for us. It’s not 50-50, and frankly it’s nobody’s business.
Communication should not be **forced**
Divorce should be outlawed
Think of kids too. Growing up with parents with different financial situations and checking accounts was very awkward and stressful. I could smell the tension when I needed something for school or wanted a bike. Who to ask, are they gonna deflect the question to each other, "why don't YOU buy it", who does more competitions, etc
@@DougAlesUSA thats a good argument for a prenup or a trust, not really for separate checking
One thing my wife and I do: our budget includes an amount for each of us to do as we please, without any accountability to the other. We can spend it as we wish.
It’s a small part of our total budget, but it goes a long way for each of us.
We do the same. It got rid of a lot of small money fights, and gave us each a little guilt free spending.
Mine is $50 a week 🤣 but goes along way for me and her..
We do the same. We each get fun money transferred to a separate account for each of us to spend how we want. It's a super small portion of our budget and essentially just pocket money that you would normally just carry as cash. But since getting cash is a hassle we do this. That way we can each spend on whatever we want for small things or save the money... it's nice and cuts down on fights because there is no... why did you spend another $15 eating out when we have food at home 🙄... it comes out of your fun money account and the other person doesn't have to know 🙂
My husband and I do that too! Not separate accounts, just money we can each spend per month; it’s an “individual fun” line item for each of us on our budget. My husband is a natural spender, and he loves it. He can do what he wants within that dollar amount without feeling guilty, irresponsible, or tied down. It’s been great for us.
@@miguelrosales6667 ours is $20 per month! You're living the dream at $50/week! :)
As a married man, best thing I ever did was getting on the same page financially with my wife. Well done.
It never occurred to us NOT to combine accounts. It felt like the most natural thing in the world. I thought it was weird when I met married couples who split the bills. We're getting ready to retire. It works for us.
Same. Keeping finances separate was never a thing we thought to do.
When my husband and i got married, we opened a joint checking account and pulled his $38 and my $54, and the rest is history. lol
That’s beautiful. My husband and I were both jobless when we met and now we own two homes and are self employed.
@@cutenobi love to hear these things.
With your greater wealth I’m surprised you didn’t ask for a prenup.
I love it, lol.
Combining finances is a definite sign of commitment. Failure to do so, and to work as a team together, shows a lack of commitment to the other person. Some people just aren't ready to commit.
I’ve done it both ways (combined finances and separate finances), and can say that combining your finances with your spouse does indeed create a better, stronger marriage and produces better results.
Until the marriage falls apart, and then combined finances is going to look like a really bad idea!
Maybe so, Terrence. We’ve been together for years and are EDMs, so it has worked for us. But you do you.
@@roythousand13 the statistics don’t lie!
I think it really depends on the person. I mean depending on the goals you have together. Like my previous marriage went down the rails really quickly. I'll admit I'm a big spender and I wasn't willing to work it out and I get that I'm like that sometimes. I mean I work hard so why can't i enjoy some of my hard earned money? But i guess just establishing your needs and the things you want out of life are a good thing. I told my gf now that I want certain things in my life without sugar coating it anymore. So we're on the same page as well.
@@user-cv3gd2wr5q over 50% end in divorce.
Those that claim to have a perfect marriage. Are the 3rd quarter Atlanta Falcons.
We've lost what marriage is. Marriage is two people becoming one. That means what is yours becomes ours, everything finances possessions everything, is shared property.
So true, and how unfortunate that society really has lost what marriage is.
It isn't that the money is combined... its that the people were committed enough to combine the money that makes the relationship work.
Yes. Correlation not causation. We can’t know which came first, the relationship satisfaction or the confidence in it to combine finances.
@@lolavonwrinkle1617 Almost every single study I've ever seen "reported" on, no matter the subject, neglects the question of causation/correlation. It seems that most average people have never even heard of the concept.
Our society views marriage and the home primarily as a place of recreation. This is why couples split because they are no longer happy.
We combined our finances & it’s been amazing. It gives you a sense of accountability that nothing else can touch. Not only that, it creates this TEAM that is so real when you’re both working toward a common goal.
For us, in our marriage, we have combined finances. Have from day one. I do wish, we had premarital financial counseling( because neither of us were taught financial literacy and I especially came from a home where financial abuse took place. I knew that wasn't going to repeat itself in our marriage). We combined our finances, had our ups and downs and learned together how to become debt free. It forced us to have difficult conversations, to argue, to debate very early on. We have been married for 17years, together for 21 years and are glad we had those learning moments as they resulted in us learning to truly listen to each other, respect and encourage each other's voice, to discuss, to compromise. I cannot express just how much peace we both feel from this. We are a team. Our money is our money. There's no "we split the bills 50/50" or "he/she loans me money when my paycheck is low". We have a budget. We know what comes in, what goes out. What's due and when. We discuss, we save, we invest, we have goals. There's money set aside for pretty much everything budget. If there's something that comes up we don't see eye to eye on (which is actually pretty rare), we hold off and discuss. There's no arguing. No secretiveness. No guilt. No denial. No resentment. Neither of us are big spenders anyway not do we enjoy "shopping for fun". We buy with purpose. We save up for big purchases. We like finding coupons/discounts, we like thrift shops, the library, movie nights and video games at home, going to the park, frugal activities. Truly. We are completely debt free except our mortgage. So baby step six. We have a car fund for whenever we do need to replace a car, two retirement accounts, we pay cash for vacations, we have our emergency fund, we have our "petty cash" for misc spending. Putting more towards the mortgage principal to get that thing paid off asap. We make less than $50k a year total and are very happy. Again, this is what takes place in *our* marriage. To each their own.
Well done. You are living the dream. Thanks for sharing the details. Out of curiosity if you are willing to share…what general area of the country do you live in? Where I live, 50k income and ability to pay off a mortgage early isn’t mathematically possible. So I’m living a similar dream life with us both on the same team, but with different numbers.
Combining finances is basically accountability, which is vital, especially for a marriage. If you have a “get out of my space” mindset, you’re not ready for marriage.
Absolutely! Best advice I received when I got married. We never look at the money as mine or yours, just ours and we are a team working toward our goals. This allowed us to be a one income family with a stay at home parent taking care of the kids. No arguments around who's contributing more or less as both rolls are valuable to the team.
This only works if you have a receptive reasonable spouse.
If your spouse isn’t receptive and reasonable why are you married. That’s part of what they are saying is if you can’t trust them you shouldn’t marry them.
@@rebeccavaughn1282
True and and I totally agree.
It all Starts with Making well thought out decisions especially if inviting another person into one's life.
I've know too many people who didn't do their homework and learn about their partner before marriage.
Unfortunately many of the Unions ended badly or "because of the kids" they carried on living together as broken versions of themselves...Very sad and Heart breaking.
Responsible well planned and thought out life decisions will help navigate avoidable messes and traps.
AWALT
Combining money may NOT be the CAUSE of a good marriage. Being able to combine money may simply be a CONSEQUENCE of an already good marriage.
When my husband and I had a combined checking account, it caused endless arguments. Whenever he checked the account, he would demand an accounting of EVERY dime I spent, even though we'd previously agreed on our budget. He was financially abusive.
The point is that being able to combine money could simply show the health of the relationship not necessarily be the reason why the relationship is good.
Thank you for saying this! 100% agree
not really sure how demanding you to balance a checking account is being financially abusive. my wife didn't do that for several years and racked up over $1000 in overdraft fees and bounced checks. I had to take it over for her because she was incapable of balancing a checkbook and it almost got us in a lot of trouble.
He was financially abusive for wanting to know where the money was going? You women are all the same, when someone holds you accountable it’s abuse. You are a liar.
@@drunclecookie216 The checkbook was balanced. I NEVER overdrafted it- not once. I made sure ALL the bills were paid on time. I've never been late.
Here's ONE example of part of the problem: Days or weeks after I'd purchased items from Walmart (with his consent), he'd demand a meticulous accounting of EVERY item I'd purchased, what the exact price was with and without tax, and why we needed it. If I'd purchased ANYTHING he didn't think we needed (salt, lettuce, or even a $2 ball of yarn with the extra change) I was seriously reprimanded for spending HIS money not OUR money.
It wasn't enough to say I'd spent the grocery/household budget at Walmart like we planned for me to do. No. He had to have complete control, and the power to discipline me if he thought I'd stepped out of line. We weren't poor. I was never irresponsible. There was no reason for this. This is financial abuse.
My point in my original comment was simple: If the relationship isn't healthy already, combing accounts might not make things better.
I'm SO sorry your wife didn't balance your family checkbook. I suppose your experience is another example of when combining accounts might not be the best idea in an unhealthy relationship.
@@outofhere7623 That was very rude.
You don't know the details of my situation, so instead of asking you call me a liar? Wow.
You state I'm a liar. You state all women are the same. Which insinuates that all women are liars. Did I get that right? Wow.
I'm sorry for whoever hurt you. I'm sorry for the negative experience(s) you've obviously endured. They must have been horrendous. I get it. I understand. After my experiences, I have a hard time trusting men. And you obviously have a hard time trusting women.
But the truth is just because a man treated me badly doesn't mean all men are evil. Likewise, just because you've had bad experiences with a woman (or women) doesn't mean all women are bad--- or liars.
Here's some advice: give everyone the benefit of the doubt. Going through life judging everyone by stereotypes will only bring you grief. And it sounds like you've suffered enough of that already.
If you don't feel comfortable sharing money with the person you are marrying, DON'T MARRY THAT PERSON!
For those of us who are divorced and literally had our entire Financial lives destroyed, amongst other things, it becomes impossible to trust a spouse afterwards
To be honest, no man should marry again after getting divorced! It's like touching a hot stove, getting burned, and saying "It wasn't so hot, let me touch it again!".
My husband and I just got married less than a year ago. We are both in our 30’s and have lived on our own before marriage. Man God convicted me so strongly about combining our finances and whew that opened up a can of worms that I didn’t even know was there. My husband and I worked through it with a marriage counselor and we are so much better for it. Combining really is a big exposure but it makes a difference. It makes you and your spouse a team!
His money is your money, but your money is YOUR money, that's the woman mindset.
It’s honestly very logical advice! If a) you’re (as married people are supposed to) trying to work as a team, and b) you know that money squabbles can be a big factor in divorce, the having one bank account to allow for financial transparency with one another and greater ease of communication over finances makes perfect sense!
Yeah I've seen alot of people I know get into fights over buying a 50 dollar object. It gets worse when you all have your money in same account.
@@Kaodusanya no the point of this video is that it's better when you have all the money in the same account.
Yeah, except when your in a horrible relationship
@@aaaaii6511 Hopefully if one was in a horrible relationship they wouldn't be considering a joint bank account with their SO. This is absolutely not something that would make sense in a dating relationship, particularly an unhealthy one. If it's a horrible marriage, then counseling is certainly a more immediate issue!
@@aaaaii6511 then don’t be in a horrible relationship. It’s literally that simple.
I wish I had put more thought into this and initiated deeper discussion before I got married, because if I had, I would have seen the red flags in his relationship with money and lack of transparency and my lack of trust in his judgement.
🤣 john @ 3:50 getting a lil excited over there 😂
If you can not share/ trust a spouse with combining finances how are they to trust in other things.
I totally agree. If you can not do this do not get married and find someone else you can trust.
@Alina Exactly. People change. And divorce brings out the devils in people. There are so many horror stories about spouses (husbands and wifes) who wind up in dang near indentured servitude, because they combined finances.
Time changes people. What are you going to do if the person you love and trust end up with a drinking or gambling problem, or wants to make money quick by investing and losing it all? It happens to a lot of people. I think as long as both partners agrees on how to use their finances (ex: both sharing everything or splitting everything) then that's all that matters. If you're not willing to give everything you've worked for money wise to someone it doesn't mean you don't trust them and that you shouldn't marry them. They made prenups for a reason. You still need to protect yourself, if you end up married to someone abusing, you can end up with nothing to your name and in very deep problems. I personally don't want to share my finances, we pay our bills, if one week he makes more money, he can do whatever he wants with it, same goes for me. He saves money if he wants, I save. You're in a relationship but you do not become one, you're both living, wanting and doing different things. I'll be there if he needs help with money or can't pay a bill ect. It's sad to hear stories about married couples sharing finances and the wife had to save hidden money just in case she ever needed to leave. Life shouldn't be like that. If both are working and have an income, it's easy to split bills and still both live the life we want together as a team. As a said, as long as the couple agree on how to makes things works, that's all that matters. There's no if you don't share you shouldn't get married, that's not nice
@@samanthapicard-drouin5326 Exactly
I strongly disagree with this sentiment that the unwillingness to fully combine finances suggests lack of trust. Whatever I amassed prior to marriage is out of bounds for combining. As a new couple, I’m fine with opening a new joint expense or investment account that we both fund going forward, while also saving in my separate accounts. Trust has nothing to do with it. I don’t want to ask permission from my partner to financially help out an old friend or long lost family because we combined every single thing. That’s silly.
@Alina that’s what happened to me!
Now I’m once bitten, twice shy…relying on her no more, only trusting in myself for financial matters
We combine our money. Remove a set amount (c50% for all bills, food, mortgage etc), then split the remainder 50/50 and remove back to our own personal accounts so we can spend on what we like personally. Works amazingly.
My wife and I were in a supermarket one Sunday where there was a bank offering $50 to open a checking account. I said give us three, and they did. We still have three accounts with that bank. Either of us can view all three on the internet, and transfer back and forth if so inclined. I use mine for dealing with the Veterans Administration. I will always keep them away from our main, joint account.
I have no clue how couples can go through life without combining their incomes. That seems crazy to me.
What if one of you is a spender and the other a saver?
@@NepthuAre you new to DR? One is almost always a big spender and one is almost always a saver. Still, joining accounts brings you together as a team.
My wife and I have separate accounts but we split every bill 50/50. We have savings and investing goals, and we are aiming to both become millionaires before age 50.
So true! Marriage is hard period. Money management is difficult but best tackled as a team; no doubt. Thanks for sharing such great advice!
I agree, with the exception of 1 person has a spending problem, then I tend to feel it's better for the money to go in 1 account, but a budgeted amount go into an account for them out of their check, and they can't have access to the main money.
I am also good with separate budgeted play money accounts, assuming you guys are out of debt and everything.
Of course these couples don't break up, when someone knows where all the bodies are buried you want to keep an eye on them.
Exactly, this “study” can be ripped apart in many ways. Perhaps they stay together because one party knows it’s cheaper that way. The whole thing about strengthening the marriage is nonsense.
When I married my girlfriend now my wife, I was very young and so then I would have disagreed. Today, we’ve come together and can tell you it makes a huge difference. What I can tell you is that aligning on goals together, you are most likely to meet them quicker.
Unfortunately, not all goals are mutually agreed upon
@@motorcyclemichael2182 well that depends Mike! If you want a motorcycle she may not agree. I’m kidding, goals like, a house, well the baby steps is what I’m referring too. These baby steps take years to meet. After that, the world is yours and hers..
ASSUMPTIONS! Combined finances totally get you further IF you are on the same page and can talk when you are not. I've been on both sides of this and divorced because my ex thought he was being told what to do....with his money, with his time... funny that his life flexibility was due to my financial decision making. He didn't like that when I 'leaned into' his business too much. I signed my name to the 401k loan and the 2nd morgage to keep that business afloat. Lesson learned. My 2nd husband and I now have a much more balanced life/money/decision making.
I can’t imagine not having my money combined with my wife! By combining finances we have been able to achieve much greater financial success! If you are married, share everything! The longer you hold out, the worse off you are going to be financially and in your marriage.
It only works if you're on the same page financially. If you are financially responsible and your wife isn't, joining finances will only spell dissatser for your marriage.
Man I told my girl ima delete her fashion nova account when she moves in and we get married
You own a $500K home free and clear.
Titled as Unmarried man, sole and separate property
You then title it as Community property.
You go to the Bank and add new wife to the joint accounts ($500K)
You then co-mingle your retirement accounts with her, another $500K
Now she is Co-owner to $1.5MM
@@aolvaar8792 Why do you plan on getting married when you care more about your money and property than a potential wife? You definitely aren't partner material.
You can be on the same page with money even if you have separate accounts. Just because they are lumped together in one account doesn’t change anything. We discuss every purchase and every investment.
What’s mine is hers, & what’s hers is hers!
Combining finances forces the unification. Does it have to be perfect? No. To the lady whose husband was abusive, that is a totally different situation. It magnified his abuse. You could see and feel it, and any marriage counselor would tell you to immediately get a safe account and get counseling or out. If you cannot combine or plan together, you need counseling asap or outie
Me and my wife have a joint checking where all income is deposited. We also have personal accounts where a budgeted amount goes every month for personal spending. We can do whatever we won't with the personal accounts. All of the home expenses are paid with the joint account. People say we are crazy but we have saved more money than all of them. We paid off all student loans and cars. The house is next. We will be millionaires soon. Meanwhile they all live like roommates.
This is easily the best strategy and no one can change my mind lol.
@@scottdesilets6147 Absolutely! Do you do the same thing?
@@bobbyb7672 Yup! One main household account and we each get our own budgets to spend how we see fit. I don't want to be the spending police ( I am the more financially minded of the couple) and her daily starbucks purchases would drive me insane otherwise lol.
This is actually in line with DR. That separate account is what he’d call blow money. And the amount will vary based on couple and income. (And debt. He’s not going to recommend you get hundreds of dollars in blow when you’re swimming in debt. But he still recommends something.)
Or the issue can be that one keeps spending wildly from the joint acct after the discussions and counseling, then bolts and grabs every dime she can.....
We combined finances when we got married and everything was great.... until I stopped working to be home with the kids. Man, that's a big change and you gotta have some real talks when there is a big change like that.
We set our monthly budget based on his income. My income went towards extra principle payments on debt and extra savings for house downpayment. This made it a smooth transition when I became a SAHM. The only thing that changed was how fast we saved.
Nice that was discussed ahead of time, wish my wife would have discussed her going from a full-time $40-50k/year to part time and only $15k/year was discussed before hand 😡
Now we struggle just to stay afloat 🤦🏼♂️
Never leave yourself in a situation where you can be literally penniless. No one is going to pay your bills for you while you're in the middle of a divorce. You have to have money of your own. I used to work at a bank. I have seen where a couple is getting divorced and one spouse drained the account. Several times. Divorces can take years to settle. You have to be able to take care of yourself until all property and finances are settled.
Ok but if you are married to that person divorce them now. If you know they would do that LEAVE. If you don’t trust your spouse enough to share a checking account then you shouldn’t be married to them.
@@rebeccashields9626 people change leading up to and during a divorce. You might trust them in the beginning of a marriage but once someone considers divorce they might act in their own selfish interests before even announcing they want a divorce.
Exactly!!! Heck no! yea we can have a joint checking account where the money for the bills go in.. the money for the mortgage.. the emergency fund… but you keep your checking and savings account and I’ll keep mine… this world is too darn duplicitous to expect that everything is going to go hunky dory. Oh and pre-nump! Pre-nump! Pre-nump!! I’ve worked too hard to build my financial state to where it’s at so that a spouse can later divorce me and take everything away from me.
If we aren't going to built together then why get married?
Amen
We do both joint with separate accounts. We both put a percentage into the joint account to pay the bills plus save. So far it's working out great..having a little independence is okay in my book as long as you both can see what's going on. If you don't trust your spouse with some independence your going to have a problem...
I can see myself doing this method.
What happens if one of you loses their job or gets sick and is unable to work?
@@saranovak8723 I can see how a joint account is beneficial to stay at home parents or relationships where one is disabled. In those circumstances I’d switch to accommodate the family. But I just feel more protected and independent with separate checking and a joint savings. But I can see how kids can complicate that plan.
@@saranovak8723 We both put 50/50 into the joint account automatically every month. We’ve been married 12 years. It is truly equal. We are now both retired with pensions in our 50’s so getting sick wouldn’t change anything. I would never been someone’s dependent and nether would he.
@@amendaalmonte2236Why marry if you want independence?
I was all in with my ex, and it ended up with her taking all. Just saying.
All in until she wasn't, bad time to have made the " all in decision "
When I went broke, my wife had thousands in her separate accounts. Kinda odd because I earned 97% of the income.
Notice the study didn't say it is forbidden to also have a side account for your self, just that finances should be combined and there should be a joint account,, which I totally agree.but nothing wrong with having your own account so it doesn't feel like mommy has to approve ur purchases
DR would call that blow money. So you’re still following the principles of he Ramsey plan.
The issue with a couple having one account each that is shared, when you plan to surprise your partner with a gift 🎁 or something else, you’re using their money to do it.
While I agree that combining finances is the best choice, keep in mind that correlation does not equal causation. This study reveals the correlation, it does prove empirically that combining finances causes more robust relationships. John, as an educated psychologist, should know that important distinction when discussing data.
He knows that for sure, but he dare not say it. He has to toe the party line.
Glad you touched on addiction. My husband is addicted to Mountain Dew 0s. This is no joke. We do have separate checking accounts; however, I have access to both. We pretty much had to do this because he will not stop going to Dollar General and buying all their Mountain Dew 0s (again, I am 100% truthful).
He is going to get cancer if he doesn't already. You really need to see a counselor or something as soon as possible.
Mtn dews are not expensive. How many does he drink a day if it's bad enough to be on separate finances?
That sounds worse for your health than alcoholism
"Honor your safety" that is powerful
I actually like the idea of having a joint account where each person puts enough money to keep the household running, and then their own account for their spending and things they can freely spend money on without having to constantly check in with the other person. Plus, I know someone that was blindsided and had money from their joint account completely wiped out. 😳
Idk why more ppl aren't saying this. It's so simple and the best of both world
I agree with your dynamic and really find it hard to see how in present day, having your own checking account and then sharing a joint account with your s/o is an issue. A percentage of each person's income goes into the joint to take care of the things you share together from house to children to vacations together. But you should have your own account to keep your sense of independence. I think when you want your partner to share all their money with you that's a sign of either not trusting them or an insecurity with what you're bringing into the relationship. I'm really independent, since childhood I've been taught to provide for myself and others and I think giving that up in a relationship can be detrimental to people like me because it can make us feel trapped and suffocated. I want to trust my partner enough that we both have the same morals about all aspects of life and still have the freedom to look after ourselves. As long as we understand its not hurting the other person, there should be no codependency. It's all all about communication and genuinely understanding, not the way you share your money. If the relationship has those two things then the way you share each others money doesn't matter.
@@annieemannieeif you want to be independent, why get married.
I don’t agree that sharing finances increases happiness to the degree they say, I feel it’s more likely just a correlation that couples that feel close and safe enough to share money, happen to live healthier and happier lives.
It’s like when people have a baby to save a relationship. Couples with children might be happier on average, but children are a symptom of a happy marriage more so then being the cause
This is true for my husband and I we discuss finances without it being tooth pulling. Pay all the bills, debt, save, play ... Doesn't work if a partner is constantly placing them in hardship...
We've been married for almost 13 years now. We have a combined account that pays for all our bills. But my wife has her own thing that I don't know anything about and I have a little something that she does not know anything about.
“Not breaking up” should NEVER be your relationship goal. That’s how people end up in abusive relationships and never leave cos they are trying so hard not to break up
We’ve had joint accounts for 17 years. We have a couple different accounts for fixed expenses and variable. I have my own account for my spending money. It’s what we budget and that way I can “save up” or just easily see what I have. My husband has access to the account and if he was super curious he could just go look but just because you are married doesn’t mean you can’t do anything on your own. It’s my budgeted spending money. I believe my husband and I are an AMAZING team and neither of us are controlling.
I don’t think the study is giving the right conclusion here. I think the driver in the equation is a strong, well-matched relationship. And obviously that kind of relationship will prosper. And the combining of finances is a product of a strong healthy relationship. People might not combine finances because there’s a level of distrust which would make the relationship not so strong, which would be why it wouldn’t work out most times
Why get married when there is a level of distrust? So stupid
@@Joseph-yp4sz
Sometimes the person you thought you married isn't the person you are really married to.
We use a hybrid model. We combine the budget needs and financial goals, but we each manage a piece of it with our individual accounts. Very easy that way, for us anyway.
THATS THE WAY TO GO
DR calls it blow money. It’s easier to manage blow money in separate accounts. I think anyway.
We have had joint accounts since we got married and much to my surprise really, it’s always been problem free. We don’t argue about money.
how do you feel about multiple shared accounts, for example one for bills, one for every day groceries, one for treats
Every relationship is different. My sister and her husband were both married previously. They have been married for about 12 years: each have their own accounts and each have their own home. But they are mature in their 50’s and older. Their relationship works for them.
If you don't trust each other enough to combine finances, then you don't trust each other enough to get married.
There is yours, mine, and ours!
It helps to have plenty of money, at least compared to our wants. It's no longer like it was when we were young and if one of us did something, it might replace something the other wanted. Now it's , "OK, whatever you want. How can I help?"
When I was married (neither I nor my ex would not say that finances were a factor in the divorce) we had our household account that all the paychecks went into. Then as part of the budget we allocated $20 each and put those in separate checking accounts. This was so one of us could grab fast food or a pair of shoes or whatever without risking overdraft (overdraft to us meant the account fell below $100, we had a lot of budgeting practices to ensure it never happened) due to the other person doing the same kind of thing that day. I guess it was the equivalent of each of us grabbing $20 to stick in our wallet.
It’s called blow money. DR advocates for it.
Greater transparency = trust which is what all relationships are based on.
I do it all...my husband and I have a great marriage, but he won't do finances. He leaves it to me. We are talking about major purchases, but I sometimes miss that he won't do it with me.
Hmmm I really understand why some people hated this.
I’ll say it “ We don’t do a good Job , Sharing The Humans , we make with the other person “! Especially Your African American 🇺🇸 Brothers & Sisters here In the United States !! So good Luck sharing everything else !🤣👍🏿🤦🏿♂️ Great conversation
When we were first married my wife and I had separate accounts but we each had full access to each other’s accounts so not really separate but still when we finally stoped being lazy and moved to a single account things got better I mean it’s just easier I couldn’t imagine my wife not having access to our money or keeping finances separate like I might have money but she don’t? That just boggles my mind how people can say that
Definitely not happening for me. We put our fixed expenses in a joint account. We have a decent age gap and he's previously divorced. Neither of us wants to combine. We are both high earners and we do check-ins twice a year since we have sets of goals. I have goals focused more towards retirement accounts so we can retire around the same time. It simply works for us.
Do not get married is key 🤣
Divorce would go down drastically 🤣
my wife and I combined bank accounts when we got married. it wasn't a problem because WE WERE BOTH BROKE COLLEGE GRADUATES with no student loans. 20 years later, everyday millionaires :)
The fact that you were both on same financial level when you combined is key here. Imagine you as a millionaire being told to combine finances with a new wife with $100K in debt from a useless degree and negative net worth. Fun!
@@same.7939 Yeah, you have a point there. Why would a millionaire marry a person like tha?
@@same.7939That’s where prenups come in. Protect what you already have but build something together moving forward. DR even recommends prenups, especially in those situations. If people feel icky about it, then they can have a prenup that dissolves over time.
If you have a joint account with your spouse there's no argument where your money is and being spent.
Combining finances is not a ‘one-size-fits-all’ decision.
But when men do this, and she inevitably divorces him (70 to 80% of divorces are by her), he loses half of all the wealth he built while she gets kids, house, half his retirement and he has to pay alimony, child support and more. Marriage is a bad deal for men. I learned this the hard way. I'll never marry a woman again.
My husband and I never bothered to join our finances mostly out of laziness but 25 years later we remain debt free and have never argued about money.
No one can tell you what reason to call a relationship. Agreement between two people is key. How can two walk together unless they agree is biblical. Not every couple without combined finances will fail, just like combining them does not guarantee success.
I don't agree with Ramsey Solutions on everything, but this one they are spot on 👌
How did they measure “likelihood” of break-up or staying married? Questionnaire? Methodology is flawed.
I believe we all should do what feels right and works best for each person and couple. But combined financials does force couples to communicate AND be open and responsible with each other. If advised by a lawyer due to legal issues with an ex to keep money separate temp then do it but prob should delay moving in, getting engaged etc until both are free and avail in every way. Cheers
It really is just personal preference. I hate the idea of combining finances and never will do it, it doesn't benefit me or the other party and if you want transparency then you can just disclose what you spent each month by tracking your expenses, which if you're a reasonable adult you're already doing anyway. All combining finances will do is cause a potential liability in a worst-case-scenario where now one party can harm the other by spending "shared" money in a way that wasn't agreed upon.
I don’t understand this. My wife and I have different checking accounts but we know exactly is in each one and have access to both. We just use hers for certain stuff and mine for others.
I see what you mean. But f you have access to both, then it is really like it is a joint account. They are referring to couples that have no idea what the other person has, nor can they check to see.
@@pep590 ah gotcha. Thanks for clarifying.
@@JimmyMook700 You’re welcome ☺️my friend
Happy to see young people are making this decision. Unless you intend to go into law, medicine, engineering, any of the physical sciences, etc. there is no need for college. Just get out there and work! Over half of the majors are worthless and a waste of time and money.
The first thing me and my wife did after we got we got back from our honeymoon was join our bank accounts. It keeps us accountable and forces us to communicate about our finances. God sees a married couple as one person and there’s no room for separate anything.
It only works if you're on the same page financially.
Same here. I did it because it made sense to be on one team - I had never heard of Ramsey or really gotten any financial advice at that point. And it was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
@@FloydofOz yes sir
When there's extreme stress involved and people don't feel like it's a problem they can solve they don't want to talk abt it
This is not the case for my family. We have personal and joint. But we share funds at every need too.
To be honest, its more about combining goals than it is about the actual joint bank account. I make 10x my wife, and she carries a copy of my debit card to make me cover groceries or gas when she wants me to. We're under 40, debt free / million+ net worth.
Well, we combined our finances and my former husband liked to control everything. I would ask questions, and I would be left in the dark. I wish I would have kept my money separate.
It's like a business leveraging economies of scale, but on an individual basis.
And then when you get divorced like me, all the money goes to the woman because, why not, it's how it always goes. Community property states blow. I had a nice sum of money in a savings account that I had acquired before I even met her, before we were married and then I made the stupid decision of opening a joint savings account and the moment I transferred that money into the joint, it was hers. I lost the opportunity to put a down payment on a house, I lost investment opportunities, savings opportunities, health crisis security, all because of joint account. Not so sure I would advocate for it. It's taking time to recoup but it's happening. Woman free, thank the lord.
You shouldn't close your previous account and open a new one with her name on it
You could have just opened a new account with her and left your old one. Build something moving forward.
In my marriage I always spend money wisely and my wife splurges. Based on my research using my opinion. lol.
Did those studies compare *"couples that didn't share bank accounts and then study the impact on their relationships after they agreed to combine?" Otherwise, it could be data with fallacy being that the couples that already share accounts naturally already have stronger ties and trust inherent in their relationship.
I see what you’re saying but you really shouldn’t marry someone you wouldn’t trust with your money
@@kingnothing8482 Then you don't really see what I am saying as I never suggested that one should.
Make it simple and keep it simple. Do what's good for you and your spouse.
My husband and I budget "fun money" each month where we take out a certain amount in cash and we can spend it on whatever we want. It's worked great for our marriage and finances!
One of my friends told me when they go grocery shopping the husband buy all the meat. She buy all the sides... smfh
@@bobbyb7672 That's an interesting concept... haha.
@@Katherine_Ann Yeah, thats crazy.
I do not understand people that think there is only one way of doing things
My wife and I have always shared our accounts and have never had different accounts since we've been married.
We only have separate accounts for blow money. I take my blow money down to the penny sometimes, so it’s easier if it’s in my account and not jumbled with our joint account. And my husband can see every purchase. I can see all his too.
We don't combine, but we join. If my husband sees I'm running low, he will bump me up and vice-versa. I take care of the grocery shopping and the clothes for the kids; he manages everything else. I suggested we combine but my husband says it's too much to manage so it's better this way, especially because we're on a special mortgage schedule to pay less interest. He's an engineer, so who am I to argue. It works for us.
That's what my wife and I do
That's so sweet never heard of that one. That's Awesome Great Man!! 👍
How is one account harder to manager than several? And you have children. Both of you have children. How do you decide who pays for what when it comes to them.
This sounds more difficult than having a combined account.
@@BlueDauntless Easy. He pays the mortgage, utilities. I pay for food, internet, cell phones. Our accounts are also linked so money is withdrawn on regular intervals from my account to put extra payments on the mortgage. We always see what we have. If it were me, we would combine, but my husband is set in his ways. Also, the kids are teenagers. One works, he buys his own clothes. The younger one hits me up, but he’s saved money from birthdays, holidays, etc. so we work it out.
I believe that for most couples a joint checking account is bad financial advice because it appears that most people don't marry well (a partner of good character, morales, upbringing and integrity) which is why we have such a high divorce rate and so many cases involving Forge and Utter.
In the immortal words of Gary Busey from the movie DC Cab: "I don't understand why women are so angry, they have half the money and all the p***y".
I got a joint account with myself best decision ever🙂😎
I think taking money out of your own bank and putting into a joint account is the most I would recommend.. Having combined finances does not have anything to do with trust. Just be real with yourself and realize ppl change and about 50% of marriages end in divorce. I have seen ppl get there accounts drained by the significant other to be left with nothing. Marriage can be everything you can imagine without having fully combined finances.
I used to work at a bank. There have been several times when one spouse drained the account before a divorce.
Judges do not take too kindly to that in court.
And it does have to do with trust. You trust someone with everything but money. Then you do t trust them.
Preach Rachel!
Completely disagree with this. It is wrong to put a label on having separate accounts in a marriage as a sign that the marriage is not good or that there are issues.