Why Do Women Take Sexy Selfies? - Dr Khandis Blake
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- Опубліковано 5 чер 2024
- Dr Blake is an Evolutionary Social Psychologist at the University of Melbourne whose research focuses on status seeking, the menstrual cycle & sexual politics.
It is no surprise that women try to enhance their beauty, put on makeup, wear high heels and sometimes take off some layers for photos. But what predicts beautification? Is it all a product of the patriarchy or is it something else? Just why are women making all this effort?
Expect to learn whether women condemn promiscuity more when they have sons, what predicts a high prevalence of sexy selfies, whether society has an incel problem, the relationship between makeup and female assertiveness, how income inequality motivates some very odd behaviour and much more...
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#women #dating #evolutionarypsychology
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00:00 Intro
00:26 Why Do Women Take Sexy Selfies?
06:55 Predicting Increases in Sexy Selfie-Taking
16:25 How Income Equality Impacts Intra-sexual Competition
22:14 Do Sex Ratios Influence Beautification?
28:51 Causes of Conflict Between the Sexes
35:04 Should We Worry About the Future of the Dating Market?
49:37 Does the West Have an Incel Crisis?
1:02:57 Is it Easier for Men to Self-Improve than Women?
1:10:54 Dr Blake’s Background in Gender Studies
1:18:19 Where to Find Dr Blake
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Hello you beauties. Access all episodes 10 hours earlier than UA-cam by Subscribing on Spotify - spoti.fi/2LSimPn. Here’s the timestamps:
00:00 Intro
00:26 Why Do Women Take Sexy Selfies?
06:55 Predicting Increases in Sexy Selfie-Taking
16:25 How Income Equality Impacts Intra-sexual Competition
22:14 Do Sex Ratios Influence Beautification?
28:51 Causes of Conflict Between the Sexes
35:04 Should We Worry About the Future of the Dating Market?
49:37 Does the West Have an Incel Crisis?
1:02:57 Is it Easier for Men to Self-Improve than Women?
1:10:54 Dr Blake’s Background in Gender Studies
1:18:19 Where to Find Dr Blake
chris lets talk
Can you tell us the stats I’m curious how many woman watch your content especially this video. I love your work by the way ❤
I never found a mate the last 10 years because both sexed dont have the money to buy a home before the age 27 to enjoy relationships or build a family. I was taught growing up that I would date a man, and he would already a home and a job ready for his new wife/gf. Both sexes today are renting a room or at parents house. Cant really build a relationship or a family that way.
Was totally shocked by the class system when I lived in the Uk.
49 min: Girls Alone (Social Experiment Documentary) | Real Stories
49 min: Boys Alone (Social Experiment Documentary) | Real Stories
I have noticed that when a woman is happy in a relationshp - she post less selfies. The moment she is not - she start posting them again. I can literaly tell if someone is out of a relationship/ almost out just by the amount of selfies they post lol.
That’s because when they are single they have to compete with other women for men and so they need to make themselves sexy so men will approach them.
So true. And if they are in a relationship and start posting more selfies then you know something is sus
i never thought of it that way but yea...that makes perfect sense and i have witnessed that behaviour
I noticed the same for men.Wierd.
@@enalo6261 it tends to be insecure people that do it, as a way to make themselves feel better about having another failed relationship under their belt. My ex does this all the time, she has a history of failed relationships and will hop from guy to guy as a way to make herself feel better.
social media has MAGNIFIED this "status seeking" behavior 10 fold
which is why it is always best to date someone who isn't obsessed with social media and validation
@@jayc342009 Where do you find them? Every woman I meet these days is obsessed with social media.
@@Phyrogenacious it's like finding a unicorn, sad isn't it?
@@jayc342009 Most women are raised to be hiveminded or communal as in not socially independent because as a species most societies want people to work for the community. As in not instigate or possibly instigate or provide challenge. Also since most women eventually become mothers this dynamic is amplified as a more hiveminded woman is more likely to be alert to what could prevent her offspring from succeeding in the community/species. So overall both by nature AND socialization, most women will be image conscious/concerned as that’s both a way women show to each other and society that they’re both part of the community and care about the opinions of the community and how they’re seen. Or rather that they’re also willing to comply with most traditions which again for the most part benefit most men in particular. Hence why this comment rings hollow as honestly the only thing men don’t really like about women being in social media is not that women are indiscriminately sharing their beauty online so much as that it increases the women’s markets and options, thus increasing competition. If you’re a below average guy where you are and you’re trying to score access to sex with the average woman in your vicinity or the beauties social media has now made it 10x harder if not outright impossible as now women have the option and ability to access men in their actual looks ranges from anywhere in the planet. Not just that but these guys also could have more money, prestige, or be more interesting etc so now not only are your chances of nutting and retaining a woman above your league somehow is diminished you might not even get to taste them at all. Most guys don’t want to date down in looks, socially men don’t get bragging rights or respect from other men and women for dating just any woman, we get more eyes on us when the women are attractive. There’s women, unattractive ones, but we ignore them because to most men any hole is not just any hole. Yeah there might be a few that are so desperate for sex they’ll take anything but they’re not going to commit to those women or seek to breed with them or marry them (and thus provide resources). And those women aren’t happy being the side piece or backup plan or last resort, they want to be esteemed as the beauties, be matriarchs, be desired and respected by other men and women, have children…which is why surgery and looks manipulation is such an affirming thing for women. For women beauty is literally a matter of life and death, they won’t be chosen or bred with if they lack it. Or they could be bred with but they won’t be paraded around, their kids won’t have as much respect, etc. It’s cruel but that’s what it is. It only bothers us men when we’re not on the winning side of natural selection. If you’re a good looking guy and have money the world is your oyster, and even then because of the high of social attention, most guys want the most attention seeking women to gain social power and esteem from everyone. Which is why extremely attractive women that are often actually shy, private or introverted are deemed as “boring” and will anger or frustrate many men as part of the exchange with beauty and women with men is not just the sexual it is the social status/visual from it. You don’t get that if a woman’s a hermit or trying to protect herself. So for guys it doesn’t matter if the woman’s a 6.5 or a 10 so much as they’re socially needy. If they’re a 10 and socially needy they’re the dream. But often what a lot of men find is that the 8-10 tend to be more mysterious and private due to trying to protect themselves from the vitriol of other women which is great if you know and understand why. But most don’t. Also if that relationship doesn’t work out of the world doesn’t know about it that means there’s less of the people at the apex looking at you, as in other tens not looking at you. Once you meet a 10 you want to stay there. So it makes no sense to most men for a woman to not be attention needy on social media UNLESS the men in question are below average, because these guys have less to compete and manipulate with. If you’re below average but at least have money you can coerce or influence women to date you and thus increase your breeding chances. Which is why most men seek to not just score the highest beauty they can but also possibly get them to like you and show you off. It ain’t enough to just buy them though that’s nice, but it’s even better if the world knows they want or love you. The attention seeking women tend to be very traditional minded sin hence to most men, who are advantaged and comforted by the traditional dynamic, overlooking them is a bad move. You will only hear this for ugly men bitter than unlike before social media, women are no longer even willing to fuck them in private thus these guys aren’t getting any sex at all especially as even ugly girls want the chance to have attractive kids and don’t want to bed other ugly people. That’s human nature. Social media is great for most above average men and women but terrible for most average men and women since it’s made the world smaller. Most people don’t have to just settle for anyone in their vicinity now. This is why you’ll see far more men than women complain about social media, the guys complaining are deliberately those that have nothing to advantage them except the fact that women had no options before. Those guys would be chosen because women weren’t just socialized to just pick anyone as being partnered was seen as better than being alone. Those guys had the chance to secure sex, creature comforts and a family. Now those guys don’t have that and they don’t want the alternative of not participating or dating ugly women as it feels unnatural as it was just never about sex or physical satiation nor it had never been in the history of our species. For some men a hole is any hole but for the overwhelming majority of us it isn’t and most of us would rather be shot than bed a woman we’re not attracted to for the rest of our lives just to satisfy the need for sex, even if the woman is kind, might be a great wife and provide us with money and kids. Look at JFK, Onassis, heck most rich men married to wealthy women (as often heiresses are unattractive in looks because their fathers are usually unattractive). Etc. In short, only ugly view the expected attention seeking from women in social media as a threat because it expands those women’s options while diminishing the below average guy’s.
Arguably it's gone stratospheric.
Modern Wisdom is the anti-clickbait.
You get exactly what you clicked for right off the bat.
amen
Yup, better listening to real wisdom than listening to some clickbait influencer who doesn't know what they are talking about, and only cares about the money to be made.
Love it
He understands that the person taking 1:18:54 hrs to listen to his talk doesn't fancy little games!
I hate to be that guy... But if a women is sharing intentionally sexy pictures with multiple people or for public viewership, it's a big no for me. This is different if the picture is not intentionally sexy, like a random bikini shot at the beach where it's just a cute thing vs intended for attention online. I believe that the emotional cancer of social media has created a generation of women who'd crumble without the attention and validation they get everyday. I seriously wonder how many women in western countries don't use social media and are capable of being happy without external validation from men.
Agreed
Exactly..Apparently they are digging up their own grave . I wonder if there would be revolution by women realising they are just being objectified (definitely not feminism) similar to how guys have now recently learned to embrace masculinity and having standards stuff.
how could you wonder.. dont necessarily like your takeaway at the end here.
dont we all profit in the long run from not doing (attention seeking) social media, men also?
@@ashwingeorge3043 Yeah exactly. It's so weird that the ideal of "female empowerment" and objectifying oneself as a sex object for men, essentially prostitution, are viewed within any similar context. It's so backwards, almost as if it's purely to get a stab at men when really the men enjoying the changes are watching women stab themselves.
Social media addiction is real, there are many studies on it such as people having anxiety attacks when they can't find their phone. Why? The SM companies have tapped into Dopamine as a means to keep eyes on their product so they can report their 'engagement' back to advertisers and squeeze more $$$ out of them.
Zuckerberg had a report on his desk about Facebook causing harm/distress to children, it got leaked later but, at the time he said simply, I never want to see a report like that again. They know tapping into the hormone that's responsible for gambling, alcoholism and all the rest is dangerous and don't care.
But dopamine can saturate the brains receptors, essentially you need a bigger and bigger hit to get the same buzz. So 1-2 selfies becomes endless within hours.
We're all to blame, giving kids a smartphone with limitless access to adult internet, no supervision et.c
We created a generation of addicts, yes, they would crumble overnight without their hits but would recover in time.
This makes me feel more secure in the decision I made to have no more social media. A complete CIRCUS. UA-cam I'll keep.
Same. Those girls will soon realize that all this validation from strangers is not leading to happy lives. Being sexy is not a guarantee to being content with yourself.
And honestly? This is attractive. Keep being the best versions of yourselves.
I can relate, but sometimes I sound like a serial killer when I say I don't have an insta 💀 I wish ppl understood this and were more accepting
@@sumukhgupta4071 strange world where not following the mass psychosis that is called insta makes you the psycho when it‘s actually opposite
I deleted all social media platforms except UA-cam. You don’t need anything but yourself. Stay strong and don’t let others CONTROL your actions.
"raising men up, I really don't know what that means" God damn Chris is an expert in diplomacy
@@JohnTCampbell1986 timestamp?
@@MyPlanetIsPluto 42:27
@@benjacoblee thanks!
@@JohnTCampbell1986 I'm gonna challenge that notion. In terms of psychology I have an answer for everything, and with everything I mean EVERYTHING. xD I have analyzed and dissected human behavior just for me, from an age of 15.
The solutions to raise men back up are actually straight forward - just not from the position you, me or Chris are in.
@@JohnTCampbell1986 So so true!!!!!!!
I start to zone out when I begin hearing income inequality and patriarchy together.
Agreed, however, she is clearly broadcasting her ideology and as such, view her research accordingly. Still fascinating research.
I couldn't make it past this point, I try to overlook it but in my opinion expecting there not to be a pay gap demonstrates a fundamental misunderstanding of the relationship between the sexes, which for someone who studies that relationship professionally is inexcusable
@@joane24 Don't forget that researchers are not immune to ideology.
Lol
@@zeno2501 agreed, so many things have changed in western societies over the past 15-20 years the ideology just cannot keep up.
They take those selfies to push up their viewability to get a top guy. Little do they know is that "sexy" attention is not the same as relationship attention. They want to convert that attention to either monetary gain or a high male partner.
Not always true. Guys select based on physical beauty….
Never met a man who didn’t…
@@Macheako The bellcurve is actually quite wide when it comes to beauty.
Also it has diminishing returns to the point where beauty itself can drive away potential partners.
@@Macheako Agreed, men select based on looks but I believe his argument is that women conflate their physical attraction, clout with relationship material. Big difference. Men want the whole package not just a hump & dump
@@Macheako After you've had a few beautiful ones you realize what my father told me long ago "turn them upside down, they are all sisters". Sure men select for beauty but if that's the biggest factor you're a fool.
@@Anotherguy1st But lets be real if two women had similar personalities one was a 5/10 the other a 10/10 who are you choosing. You wouldnt say either one is fine because they both have amazing personalities - youd choose the 10/10.
If one sex loses, both sex loses. THIS IS IT.
Unfortunately I think we've already entered the death spiral without much hope of pulling out.
@@Triaxx2 I think everyone underestimates how much suppression of Revolution happens because I know a lot of guys that if someone just got the ball rolling would be super ecstatic to start blowing up buildings and setting fires. How many of us have been on our way to our jobs just super upset that Society hasn't collapsed yet. Just everyday waking up and seeing that the city still there is super annoying during the antifa riots and the j-6 stuff all I could think was and this is it it's finally happening it's finally flipping happening about GD time!
@@dans864 I was actually referring to a self-sustaining population collapse where no one's willing to bend even slightly to do anything to stop it because it's always someone else's job to give first.
@@Triaxx2 Reproduction will continue in mostly in-vitro cases. Sex will continue with robots and androids. People will forget why, eventually.
As long as women continue to believe they are victims and champion feminism it won't get better. I imagine until we have a majority of women in government and corporate, men will continue to diminish. Time to move to the woods!
Men make fun of each other but don't mean it. Women compliment each other but don't mean it.
Pretty much. If I’m making fun or talking shit to a guy then that means I view him as a cool guy or possible friend. Even friends I’ve had for years - I still give them shit lol
Guys come on. These numbers are young men (a singular demographic) in aggregate (large totals) essentially big generalization. It is possible that you do not fall into the averages surveyed
From my own experience I can say I posted these photos because I got validation and attention for it. And I wanted that because I was very insecure and unreflected and immature and didn’t know how to bond or have real friendships or really work on my goals or improve in my hobbies etc. So by posting these pictures I felt some sort of power. As soon as I got into therapy and got more selfesteem I stopped because I, well… got my pride back or something like that. I feel embarrassed and ashamed of what a „pick- me“- girl I was. I still like the pictures but I would only give them to a man I want to have sex with in private now and not flirt with the whole world on a regular basis. Also I am able to have friendships with women now without feeling I have to compete with them.
Fabulous honesty & clarity about the validation you used to need. Delighted that your self esteem & awareness has seen such significant growth....honouring your journey as a beautiful, conscious & empowered/empowering young woman.
🌷⭐🧚♀️⭐🌷
@@estherdeangelis Thank you so much
Cool insights. Thank you for sharing. I wonder if what you felt might be part of evolving gender dynamics. Western men historically have considered competition between males to be “normal”. But for women, competition has to veiled. That might work when women achieved status because of their mate. Note that they achieve status through their own efforts, the need to compete and measure between women becomes more important. But this is not considered “normal” for women. So they try to find veiled ways to compete.
Thanks for your honesty. What if you don’t want to compete with your female friends but you find them competing with you? It just makes the friendship unauthentic and you know it’s fake because they’re not really happy for you.
The word you're looking for is "dignity" not "pride."
My brother makes a point about NOT telling his little girl how cute she is, and tells other people to do the same, because he doesn't want her to become vain about looks. Didn't keep the little girl from wanting frill dresses and admiring herself in the mirror at age 4. Women want to be beautiful far more desperately than men do. The need to be admired is built into the female gene. And social media created a positive reinforcement loop that sent that female instinct into an absolute frenzy.
That is an absolutely terrible way to hurt his own daughter.😪 Everyone wants to be appreciated, it is the WAY that need is met that is the problem, not the need itself. The need will not vanish simply because HE chooses not to meet it. She will simply learn to meet that need elsewhere instead of the safety of a father daughter relationship. Hopefully she’ll find appreciation in other aspects of her life, however in this day and age, she is far more likely to become dependent on the sexual attention of men.
@@sarahalderman3126 If you are suggesting that my niece doesn't know her daddy loves her, trust me, he DOTES on her. He simply chooses to compliment her on traits other than her looks.
I hope you live in a country that's not lost. Do that in the western cultures and she will fall in with the trans lunacy.
I think fathers naturally don’t overly praise their daughters when it comes to beauty. That’s definitely a mothers/female trait. Beauty is important on a female when it comes to success, so young women should learn the right way to look good. Looking good is dressing appropriately, eating healthy and being fit, good posture, good personal hygiene, natural makeup. That’s typical a mothers role. Your brother being a active and thoughtful father for your niece, she’s already a winner :)
@@sarahalderman3126 It's kinda shameful that you're hurtful if you don't compliment your child's look. I feel like constantly giving positive thoughts with no reason is a terrible way to teach people how to properly compliment somebody. Its more of you thinking that your child is insecure and you complimenting it will fix their world which is so far from true. Like if the kid dressed up and put in effort for their appearance comment on it but if you're just always calling your daughter or boy the cutest little thing you're just creating a problem in the future when it comes to self-image.
Some women "NEED" the validation that they are pretty, hot, desirable, sexy etc. Some of them are actually addicted to likes and comments .. and if they do not receive any, it's indicative of their self-esteem -- right? Seriously - who doesn't like to hear compliments? It's somewhat natural to feel flattered - but IRL you say "thank you" and carry on with your day. On Social Media - you can go back to the post - and see how many likes you have, read the comments, and even like and respond to comments of folks complimenting you... it's there - for more to see. If you receive a compliment walking on the street - who else is going to know that you were complemented?!? Some folks HAVE to share and show others their 'status' of being viewed as really pretty, hot, desirable, sexy... it validates!
I agree. There seems to be a sense of validation, to boost one’s self esteem, for sure.
It's toxic though because these women are always looking for that next dopamine rush
Women need to be wanted. Men want to be needed.
I don’t mind compliments but I surely don’t need them in any way. As a guy if I depended on compliments to boost my self esteem then I’d be in trouble .. I don’t need nor crave validation either, especially from other people
Yes much like how men are “addicted” to sex, hence the entire porn/sex industry. The need for validation used to be met through marriage, or the marital relationship, for both sex’s. The husband validated the wife, through his desire for her sexually and emotionally. While the wife validated her husband by being sexually and emotionally available to him. Unfortunately porn and the sex industry destroyed that happy balance, in that men can obtain their validation through porn instead of marriage. Likewise (some) women were able to obtain that validation through social media (porn). The obvious problem for both is that the validation from either is only an illusion of true validation… thus only an illusion of happiness. Unfortunately neither sex seems to have realized this… at least most do not until they have essentially been aged out of the competition. Hence why we have so many middle aged bitter people.
Pics like that, or a overly abundance of selfies are a INSTANT turnoff and a major Red Flag.
amen
Agree, I’m
Not going to date someone that needs or wants constant validation. That would be exhausting
I love her honesty although she's still playing it safe. It's not reaaally about getting a decent partner so she can make a living, it's about getting the absolute best partner she can get. A lot of women can make enough to live on their own and a lot of men would be perfectly viable partners earning 60-90k and measuring 5'9'' but you don't see women actively seeking those guys. Biological competition is relative to context and magnitude, it's not about what is exclusively necessary.
"I can't find a man in the top 10% who has great hair, is over 6' and over 6" who has a high status job.... there is *NO ONE* out there!!!" she says to her male friends who each meet 80% of her requirements.
@@macmcleod1188 while the other 20% is things that are out of their league and what only actual 9' and 10's typically get
5'9 ain't viable bro
Your last sentence sums it up. The context is modern society and social media. The magnitude is the entire culture. The dating pool is artificially skewed to the top percent of men, because now they have access to all the women in their geographical area through online dating and modern transportation. In the context of how female mating strategy evolutionarily developed, they were maximizing within a tribe, or group of tribes. Now their "tribe" is basically everyone.
The programing we are born with is a horrible match to the environment we now live in.
@@brendanh8978 Yep, can't disagree with that.
Divorce is never the way out, My wife and I have been having issues before I sort out help from a spiritual adviser,i wasnt going to let my marriage of 18years crash
amazing,i am kinda in a similar situation,how did you handle it?
@@DavidVelasquez9 well not the orthodox way but i was referred by a friend to a spiritual adviser and healer
@@peterwilliams6361 please how can i get in touch with the spiritual adviser?
@@DavidVelasquez9 her name is SHELLY RENEE WHITE ,and she is a great spiritual adviser as well as caster
you can look her name up online and you will find all you need.
In middle school I came to a key conclusion that completely turned me off to the whole social jockeying and bullying thing that most teens (and, let's be real, adults too) do: boys tend to engage in physical altercations and/or intimidation, girls tend to engage in psychological warfare. Every single group of girls engaged in some kind of mental sniping with other groups and within their own group. I saw how much drama and social sabotage was going on and figured that trying to fit into any per-established group of girls just wasn't worth the headache.
Well you are smart! Glad to see more smart ppl exist
Well you are smart! Glad to see more smart ppl exist
@@prameshsahu1957 Thank you for the compliment! It saved me drama, but I didn't have a lot of friends as a result. The friends I did make were good ones tho and I'm kind of an introvert. I don't have a good social battery and don't really have a desire to have a giant group of friends. Spending time with people I like is fun, but tires me out quite quick and going to events with lots of people I don't know are just as (if not more) stressful as they are fun. tbh, if I cared more about having lots of friends, I probably would have joined with the normal teenage drama just to have a group.
Its sad that the only solution seems to be pulling yourself out of most social situations which destroys your ability to find a partner.
@@mattfm101 you're right and tbh, I'm not certain there is any kind of 'fix' for it. Like I said, even spending time with people I like, genuinely want to spend time with, are fun and not stressful to be around can mentally and emotionally exhaust me very quickly, and I don't think its something you can practice to get better at. And its not that I'm bad at being social either, lol! Just earlier this summer I went to a convention with my brother to a video game that I don't play and don't really know anything about and I introduced us to and had great conversations with at least 10 different people across the two days. I can handle the anxiety of introductions, I'm good enough at conversation that I can have an interesting and fulfilling one with someone who I've never met before, and I do like interacting with people; they just tire me out. And if I've got something stressful going on in my life, like right now I'm finishing up a degree, the first thing that gets taken off my plate is social activity; I don't even do it consciously, it just hits me one day after weeks that I haven't left the house at all.
But all that said, if there was a fix, I probably wouldn't take it. For all my lacking social life, I'm content with where I am for now; things will change and opportunities will soon come. This is also something that is so deeply ingrained in me, I'm not sure if trying to 'fix' it would just make everything worse; like I said, I'm an introvert - no fixing that XD. The whole introvert thing probably helped me come to that initial conclusion in middle school. I won't lie and say that I'm not bothered by the whole thing sometimes, but there is light at the end of the tunnel and that's enough for me.
Nothing hotter than a good-looking girl who doesn't have social media.
They can have social media and if anything most men gain from it. I mean I know a few women that use it to keep in contact with friends and family but aren’t sharing images of their bodies to attract romantic or sexual attention. There’s a difference in how they use it. If they use it as entertainment it’s healthy especially if it’s used in moderation. If they use it as a primary source of entertainment and constantly posting their images then yeah that’s a bit neurotic. At that point then yes they’re using it to get attention or compete or just very attention needy. Now the attractive attention needy women are easier to score than the emotionally independent very intelligent but attractive women since they’re usually not as smart about men or life in general. If you want to score easy and socially needy yourself there’s no better choice than an attention needy woman. If you’re a guy that wants visual status and have none to begin with this is the easiest way to get some. The more socially independent women know better and are careful to pick a man that’s also not socially needy (likely has status of some sort whether by looks or respect/prestige or economy as a result). M
Saying this as respectfully as I can, most men are attention needy and in need of validation of both men and women so it’s to most men’s advantage to date an insecure woman that’s always fawning herself on social media in search of that approval rather than ones that don’t. Because the women that don’t tend to usually be the 7-10s with brains and lots of emotional intelligence, and as a result they tend to be “pickier” or more careful than the average women because they’re really picking for social compatibility not just financials or looks as for some reason extremely attractive women can become socially anxious or avoidant due to the heavy intrasexual competition: Because of it they seek wiser more educated men (whether that be literally more educated or just like a lot of men in Chris’ audience, men that try to know a lot about the world around them and human wellness). I could be wrong as obviously there’s different metrics but this is a thing I’ve noted. Very, very few of the truly stellar, healthy, intelligent and fun women that stick out because of their looks and auras tend to be extroverted and the ones that I have noticed that are tend to be wealthy or part of a protected class in a way. Most people are working class and as such often come from broken homes or inconsistent backgrounds where people are more likely to be hiveminded and bully to protect what they have. As such most very attractive women eventually grow to become closed off since they’re often overwhelmed by both the attention they get from both sexes but also the passive aggression they get from both. They become like that as a coping mechanism or as a way to protect themselves from pain especially as remember women can be more sneaky about inflicting pain on other women. As a result the apex women tend to be harder to land because they’re seeking that protection dynamic even more than the average women, they don’t just need security they need to know you’re not going to inflict extra mental and emotional damage. So they’re more private on all counts and as such not likely to use social media as a way to market themselves because it’s something they’ve always and usually will always have. So they don’t feel a desperation to prove it to the world. But again, most guys can’t provide the security those women want often especially if a guy is status needy hence why I dissected your advice as it’s not as simple as you think. Most guys will win more by shooting for the attention needy women. The main problem comes from the fact that most men do use being seen with women or a very visual woman as a way to gain status, even the most private of men. Hence those women get railed and thrown around, sleeping with all the same guys and then some. While the apex women are depressed trying to land a more private man that’s also on their looks level. The thing is the private guys don’t want them either as again, for a lot of men the thrill is not just being seen with the woman but have as many people in their circle know about it including other women. Apex women are trying to protect themselves from most women who are usually mean to them which means they’re in particularly vulnerable to social trouble in part of other women. Basically, social media is indeed a problem because it’s the ultimate tool for the below average to average woman to get as much access to the biggest selection of men possible while for the extremely attractive women it’s often a minefield unless they’re mentally strong, careful and have some sort of third party protecting them like an agency or something as well as taking therapy to deal with the intersexual competition as either way their dynamic with men doesn’t change much unless they attract a very desirable but private man to take them out of the ring to actually protect them from this. I feel like this is a fascinating subject to analyze tbh. David Attenborough should be narrating it. 😂
More likely to find Sasquatch, mate.
Lol yep. If I meet a woman and she isn’t on social media I like her that much more! The last two attractive women I met were pretty obsessed with social media . Not hood
@@thearmanig98 lol
Too bad most of us are happily married. ;)
Chris, I love your work! Thank you for all you are doing, asking the right questions! Keep going sir!
Twenty years ago I would've totally agreed with Khandis's comment that men want as many mates as possible and that females only want one.. After ending a two decade relationship and finding myself recently single and starting to look around, I've been shocked by the number of women who hop around just looking for hookups! I'm not sure her comment holds as much water today!
Thing is, for a single pregnancy one man is obviously enough, but for multiple pregnancies, what's more desirable?
And imagine when like 50000 years ago humans lived in little villages of 100-150 people. And when siblings do incest, they have double the chance of giving their offspring defective genes (because the errors in the DNA are in the same places, these will definitely be passed down, plus new errors. It's a bit more complicated than that, I don't understand it all that much myself, but that's what I read). So this explanation makes it more beneficial for the villages' survival to have promiscuous women.
Weird, eh?
Yes. We are still evolving. Things change and our society today is a lot different than it was even just 20 years ago!
@@paigeheartly8936 If you call this `evolving... you are sick... many countries populations are decreasing.. below replacement levels.. evolving... ??
@@jeffreybright8119 the world population in 1950 was 2.5 billion people. Today, the world population is 8 billion. That is a huge increase in such a short amount of time. Oh and guess what? This didn’t happen under the name of polygamy. Humanity evolved the fastest under a monogamous society so if you think polygamy is the answer, please show me the data. I’d love to see it :). Maybe there is a reason the population is decreasing? Perhaps due to supply and demand? But hey maybe we will colonize mars. Idk what’s gonna happen and neither do you. All I know is that things change and none of us can predict the future. you should do some research before you make moral judgements on others.
@@jeffreybright8119yes that's how evolution works. A common misconception is that dying (from predation, disease, etc) is what drives natural selection, but it's actually reproductive success that drives it. A retarded, disabled, uselessly lazy person who lives to have 10 kids before being eaten by a tiger was infinitely more evolutionarily successful than the perfect, apex male who lived a full and productive life but never had any children.
People who decide not to have children are self-eliminating themselves from the gene pool. Populations that still vigorously reproduce either for cultural reasons or genetically linked behavior are in a tiny minority now but their lineage will inherit the Earth thru an evolutionary "bottle neck" regardless of how impressive or useless they might be as humans. This idea is kind of touched on by the "Idiocracy" effect although it's more complicated than that
So many good points in here for individual self improvement. Get fit. Get educated. Work hard. Work on parenting skills. Increase our own market value. Market value is more than just money.
Dude, that's what people have done for ages.
How is that going to stop the patriarchy and income inequality?
That literally created the divide.
@@johnsagnella1614 you can't put a number on emotional fluency. (A skill I don't claim to have.) I think broken homes produce broken adult children money can't fix. But time and education, and above all love, can. Don't you think?
Self-improvement is just like do weightlifting and chase career. That's the limit on what people know about self-improvement.
@@johnsagnella1614 Current issues, are not because of any patriarchy... income equality its not going to solve the issue of men and women getting together and make families either... Studies have shown, the most gender agency there is, ( for example western Europe, and Scandinavian countries) the more apart women and men are as personality traits. Its a very complex issue, which in reality, no one has any answer or solution to solve it.
@@johnsagnella1614 CORRECT !!
I clicked for the photo of the girl on the thumbnail. I stayed for the quality of the conversation. Female beauty rules the world.
Simp.
These discussions are amazing. This is what should be happening in universities not the madness that's occurring right now.
it would require competent teaching staff. Good luck with that😅 They're hiring based solely on citations and publication outputs in highly indexed journals. Soon, an AI will be able to produce the optimal content to land your article in such a journal.
Chris, you're doing such pivotal work with your whole series on the differences between the sexes. Great stuff. Keep going.
I like his interviews but he is way too softball. Especially with the likes of Sham Harris.
@@softcolly8753 I think he's afraid of certain topics, he just wants to stay neutral and polite and not endanger his channel. So it's just same old pretty side of the coin, only half the truth.
That's why red pillers aren't listening to this. Besides, I'm a red-piller and MGTOW, and this interview certainly didn't make me wanna start chasing women. It didn't benefit me at all like he thinks it would benefit red-pillers. And I think others will see it the exact same way.
They both start talking about how we need to encourage men to be stay at home dads but doesn’t the data support that women are more likely to be unsatisfied with a relationship where they make more than the man? Does it go against their nature?
Haven't listened to the podcast yet, so I don't know what they said. But yea....women prefer to look for high status men and I would say it goes against their nature.
@@Emils_really he touches on it in passing that it would be an up hill battle but yeah I think it is going to be very hard to get us to go against our evolutionary nature
I can only speak for me but there’s no way I could ever be a “stay at home dad”.. I’ve only met one guy that said he could do that as that’s exactly what he is doing. She works and he is home with their kid. Granted I’ve only talked to a rather small number of men about this but I think most men out there would be opposed to being at home all day long . It will be interesting if this changes in the future
@@brianmeen2158 i think so as well, because in a sense men would have to go against the nature that women, especially if breast-feeding, need to be there and care for the child for the first several months. The nature of it all would seem a little bit flipped on its head. I’m not super opposed to there being more acceptance of men being stay at home dad‘s’s, but I would worry that it would come with some costs, especially with testosterone already being at an all time low I think that kind of shift would make it even go lower. You’re thoughts?
Ive been a stay at home dad for almost 5 years now, and it works for us. I know a couple of others who seem to struggle more with it. Men may have a parallel insecurity and dissatisfaction about being stay at home as you don't get the typical status climbing and don't have financial leverage over the relationship. Everybody knows men are attracted to looks not money, so breadwinner women being constantly worried about their man leaving unless they are very hot or very secure in themselves may drive that dissatisfaction too.
So interesting!
How do we balance achievements, upping the "status", w/out using ourselves objectively?
I think it comes down to our conscience, doing what we can to learn, develop our character, find grace in all stages of life, and also remember classical beauty is first inward.
If we want to be both respectable and beautiful, I think there is a way to do so.
"Seek and you will find"
"When the student is ready, a teacher appears"
And so on.
We will find a way to balance these, if we truly search for a way.
Beauty is complex, and I think our conscious understands when we are using it incorrectly.
❤❤❤❤❤❤
So, to boil down all of this sexy selfie discussion to one word, it would be Hypergamy.
And this woman has the scientific proof
She worked hard on that proof.
I don’t think all the men not having sex are sedated by video games, we are watching your podcast.🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
>>we are watching your podcast
Watching the Pamela Anderson Netflix piece and seeing how naturally beautiful she was before the selfie pouty lip media distortion machine thing came to be.
Modern Wisdom has the most insight per min than any other podcast
Excellent conversation. Women completes phD program to understand things your local mechanic, carpenter, comedian and bus driver guy knows.
Ha! So true
The difference is having evidence to back up what you say vs blowing hot air… but an idiot wouldn’t understand that.
@@TuffLuv1984 ThE EviDenCe. It's called intuition, common sense and insight. But an EvIdEnCe-BaSed DeCiSiOn MaKeR - what are your sources tho?????? - wouldn't understand. Truckers, farmers and trade guys have them in spades. Pencil necked academics in stifling soul crushing bureaucracies do not.
@@maghrebforever2012 You have never been surprised by a counter-intuitive fact? There is a reason there is a difference between “facts” and “opinions”. You can have an insightful tarot card reading… doesn’t make it true.
@@TuffLuv1984 Yes except that in this case their intuition was of the 'correct' kind. Lovely point of intellectual tennis there, Chappy! 15-0
SPOT ON. Keep being yourself, YOU don’t need the feeling of having to compete. Grow yourself and COMPETE with YOURSELF. Don’t be controlled by the hands of others. Stay strong men and women.
“Each sex is kind of competing to do the best that they can in the environment that they are in.”- Dr. Khandis Blake
"Some people did something." - Rep. Ilhan Omar (D)
The problem is that only one sex (women) is trying to change the environment to game an advantage. Men are competing in a game with fewer and fewer winners because it is rigged by feminists and the power structures that suports the ideology. Dating is clearly not a level playjng field where competition is fair.
Lol love your profile name, one of my favorite children’s book growing up.
Yes, Dr. Blake, we should monitor incel behaviour online instead of actually making the dating marketplace fairer for men, makes total sense.
Fairer? What do you want, mandatory dating laws? Or peacock feathers to wear?
I always thought "sexy" selfies were weird. But at the same time I felt like I should do it too because it was so accepted and encouraged and thought there was something wrong with me for feeling awkward doing it. I'm 43, I grew up without the instagram craze and never saw selfies until 15 years ago, and to this day whenever I see friends and others with their never ending insta selfies I can't help but feel it's a sign of self obsession and vanity. It also just looks so cringe. You KNOW these women are fishing for compliments and if suddenly no one reacted to them they would feel ENTIRELY insecure. And that's not healthy. Sometimes I feel compelled to take a selfie, and then I feel stupid for doing it. Men show off their money and social status as a direct comparison, and that's dumb too. Any time you have to show something off it means you're insecure and feel compelled to outcompete someone and prove yourself. A person who has nothing to prove is a truly secure person. That's my personal take on it.
And when men point out that behavior they are called all kinds of shamming language. If men have their attention anywhere women will always invade that space for attention in order to validate themselves. Football players, Boom women literally make an entire sport of themselves dancing around sexy IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FOOTBALL GAME.
They're just personal advertisements. Maybe they want an opinion on their looks or they want a new lover.
If you listen enough to the discussions on this podcast you'll know it not a simple as pathetic vs not pathetic, vain vs not vain, etc. Insecurity isn't something we choose to have and status-seeking behavior is natural. People who feel like they are low-status, or that are actually low-status, have worse health and life outcome. The desire to engage in status-seeking activities is probably a way of your biology trying to protect you. It is also potentially indicative of family of origin issues or environmental effect (such as those perpetuated social media). So as cringe as this particular display of status-seeking behavior might seem to us, we all participate in some form of it and some us really need it for our own survival (which I don't think is exaggerated).
I show off my cats 🐈
You are right, but i do think this is a losing battle, because its literally in our DNA to show off, probably in the DNA of most if not mammals too when mating is concerned... I mean even birds do it
Selfies. Appreciating looking good Human nature. I watched a documentary 20 yrs ago, where a husband and wife lived with a South American tribe in the jungle, 20 years before and filmed. They came back, and brought a projector, a sheet, and showed the tribe. The natives have never seen themselves, except reflected in water. The women’s comments were, “Oh, your boobs were so firm and your rear so shapely. Your hair was so beautiful.” Etc etc. It’s built into our human nature.
I can understand posting good pictures that you are in - I do not understand having to post selfies(that look almost identical to the others)every day in an order to get that much needed validation
Studies have show men engage in as many grooming behaviors as women… they focus more on muscles, hair. And men seek attention as much as women… it just obviously looks different. More male protagonists in movies-attention. Male musicians-attention, they talk more in the boardroom-attention. Tv shows and news-shown to talk more-attention. Men are obsessed with attention! 😂 and they’re at more levels of power, so they give it to themselves through those channels. Now, women do as well but then men complain about it! I think our society is deeply superficial but that’s based on consumerism where they have to make you value crap in order to purchase it-to the point where humans themselves are commodified because of these toxic system lead and formed by the superficial--mostly-MEN.
@@juneelle370 These men are not putting on tiny speedos and taking selfies. They have actually worked hard, To be an actor in the movies? Talent, sure, but unbelievably hard work Rock Stars? Talent, sure, but unbelievable hard work. A man in a boardroom talking about the business? Takes a lot of hard work to finally be asked to join the boardroom.
These young women putting on tiny bikinis and taking these sexy selfies haven't done a thing except be born with good genetics.
Men obviously like attention, and want to look good by exercising (also for health) and making sure their hair looks good. So what?
As far as the superficial culture, you are right, it's "mostly men" but is that 50.000001%. You can't be so naive that you don't think women don't promote this? That aren't producers behind these horrible reality shows like "F-Boy Island" and the such? They absolutely are.
And what about Cardi B, Nicki Minaj, Meghan Thee Stallion, and Miley Cyrus to name just a few.
Have a great life.
@@juneelle370is this a bot?
@@juneelle370Women are in fields what men are. All the fields that you have mentioned are ones where women are also in. But men operate in an organized way that the minority of them are awarded status. Women aren't competitive and aren't built for labour evolutionarily speaking.
Also only 1% of men groom actively. I work in a geodiversified office of 20000 people and with me being in that 1% (I humble say as girlfriends have pointed out to me). I can only handpick the men there that have time to groom despite the other men in the 1000s who are just wired to work their ass and sadly they don't realize to give a shit onhow they look as they have to work hard to build a family in the future. But actually in the long term they are sacrificing their options of finding a mate due to the lack of good health and hygiene.
Cos they're self obsessed
It seems like most problems in our society these days come from a root of people being totally self-centered. They can't even watch a TV show or movie without a main character who represents their exact skin color and sexual preference. It's so bizarre to me, I remember when I was a kid me and my two brothers loved the movie My Girl. We didn't care that it had a female main character, it was written well and it was a good movie. Yet today somehow people require that the movie represent their exact identity
everybody is.
@@rc7013 not to that extent
Generalizing often leads to error.
@@rc7013nope
Excellent content as ever Chris and team. 👏👏
Easiest way to deal with this is to not take any selfie chick seriously. You know what they say about things that need frequent advertising.
Incredible podcast. Your podcasts always keep me on the edge of my seat.
This was the first podcast on the arms race I’ve heard that inspired some hope and brought things full circle. I’ve been on both ends of the arms race having been a 20 yr old lesbian separatist and now a 35 yr old redpilled transman and it’s only recently I’ve integrated the two. This podcast has been key for this and I’ve appreciated the much needed objectivity, balance and compassion brought to these issues. It’s been a huge support and I hope this kind of discourse between camps becomes more mainstream and that there’s more crossover between gender studies and evolutionary psychology. Would definitely clear a lot of things up. I’m currently doing my part bringing red pill/evo psych to as many lgbt friends as I can haha.
Lesbian Separatist turned RP evopsych, BRUH what are you gen z forrest gump
@@caiuzdanigga3335 Soon to be a transhumanist cyborg anarchist.
I'm curious how you have integrated those two perspectives? Unless I'm misunderstanding they seem to be mutually exclusive positions to my understanding.
@@quietus13 Yeah they are pretty mutually exclusive but I’ve come to terms with both perspectives. I think that for some “stone butches” or really masculine females closer to being trans/having more male dimorphic physical characteristics and/or a brain that is wired to perceive the world as male are prone to compete with other males in the dominance hierarchy and for females and being a lesbian separatist is one way of doing this. Also having had some negative experiences from being a woman + being in female circles where sexual assault/abuse is common & men are seen as predatory the separatist response is a masculine protective instinct. Then add the possible unresolved trans issues and the confusion/rage/projection from that and you get an extremist militant separatist stance. At least that’s what it was for me. Then when I transitioned I resolved a lot of this and got to experience socially life as a man and boy did that crash my worldview. Being red pilled saved my life in many ways from the double speak esp from feminists and queer people who espouse lofty egalitarian ideals but still sexually select the same traditionally masculine men if not for relationships then for short term sex. Lots of gaslighting there so now I find myself living in between worlds mostly in the “regular” world but I still date and dip my toes in the queer world, now ironically having much more sexual success after being red pilled :) Hope this explained my stance a bit. I empathize with my old self but it doesn’t work for me anymore if that makes sense, everyone is doing their best using whatever strategy for sexual and social survival that’s available.
Alexander Grace has a great episode on female narcissism and the constant need for attention and validation that drives females. Truth hurts
I don't understand why income equality is this golden calf that everyone worships, that we MUST achieve at all cost.
Isn't the real end goal to maximize happiness? Seems kind of dumb to fixate in esoteric goals like that, that seemingly only stand in the way.
From everything I've learned, it seems to me that income equality only decreases everyone's happiness.
I think money is so worshiped because it opens up the world for options. And people are so disconnected from them selves and the world spiritually, so they only know how to glorify materialism.
Economic freedom is the biggest motivator for women as it’s their biggest source of protection from each other. Not so much from men but from the intrasexual competition and mental warfare from other women. Peace. With income comes experiences, options and peace. Beauty is one but financial freedom is the ultimate freedom one could have outside of being an attractive wealthy male.
They talk about income equality but not effort equality.
There are few if any women on the planet that work and think and act like Me and my co-workers in the Oil biz. (Once in a while a chick shows them up 😂). But rarely keeps doing it day in and out for a career.
I Chris, I really like your podcast, it's important to address all topics honestly and uncensored, as you do, as long as you can. Hugs from Spain :)
Great episode and very applicable to my experience.
Goddamn Chris, these kinds of convos are making me a super fan.
He is so good!
Excellent discussion, Dr. Blake is fascinating to listen to. You both are. Great to see such high quality video's being made. Thank you.
I liked the fact that the discussion stepped into this disturbing territory of "we're making life a total hell for men and it seems that any way to address the problems of men will be vilified as patriarchal-misogynistic-fascistic oppression". But I regret that you weren't able to dig further into credible approaches, and even ventured into lalaland (house husband).
Dismantling wokeism from academia and newspaper/magazines is a must.
Tweaking dating apps algorithms is a must.
Spreading the word about men and women's instincts is a must.
Cancelling out all subsidies that encourage single-motherhood, no fault divorce, and alimony is a must.
As someone who struggled with porn addiction, I can now say that I've become stronger since quitting. I might be a prude, but I think the mind works better once you deprive the "desires of the flesh". The boomer's sexual revolution destroyed culture and resulted in a generation of fatherless children. Free love is not free and only causes a few moments of pleasure followed by guilt that they can only deny.
100%.
Nah, 0%. I'm a father, single, with shared parenting, and porn is just good stress relief. As they hypothesized, it keeps men off of voilence.
@@nightmareTomek It might be keep men from violence, but also keep men from participating in society... either way the cookie crumbles.... apathy and sedation will destroy a society as well
@@knightheaven8992 And the statistics of it you pulled out your butt? Maybe it keeps you from society, but I don't think it does so with the majority.
I love pron and I don't want children :X
I think a majore reason 'incel' men play video games is because it is the only environment where they can start with an equal playing field for competition. In the real world, they know they don't stand a chance. In the game, they can still become something of value.
There have a been a few studies regarding the hypergyny (opposite of hyperandry) side of things emphasizing it coming to an end; however, it does seem unlikely. What one study found was that promoted women were more likely to face divorce (initiator not stated). Conversely, another study stated that, in the cases wherein the woman pairs with a man while already being the primary breadwinner, the rates of divorce are less. Of course, most women will not take this marriage deal, but something to consider which I went into in a video regarding research on hypergyny.
The value of a modern college education is being called more and more into question. The recent humiliating showing of the Presidents of Harvard, Penn and MIT added to the devaluing. So a college education misalignment of Men-Women relationship may not be as important? Just a thought! Thanks! Great podcast!
Oh my god always had this question. But never thought there will be any discussion on this.
RE: 56:17 - It's been a long time since I have played a violent video game mostly because I don't have time anymore for video games. However, when I did, I played video games because they were fun. Not because I lacked a feeling of dominance.
Dead Space has been revamped and looks hotter than ever if you’re interested?
42:37 Makes a solid point right here. Learning is key.
Great interview, also good when the interviewee gets questions they have to think about, I think Dr Blake enjoyed those questions.
Income and status aren't the same thing, many plumbers earn way more than most office jobs but plumbers are socially at the bottom, even if you own a big house due to your successful plumbing business (partially successful because nobody wanted their kids to be plumbers so the demand is high and the supply is low).
I know plumbers who got out of the business, sold three or more trucks, let everyone go and went to work for the city. Same or better money. Steadier. And a pension.
This is in a low growth, farming state. Few new constructions mostly repairs and renovations.
Obviously, being a union plumber wage earner on hospital and school projects is going to to be good pay. Crack six figures with a little overtime, full benefits, paid hotel and meals when away from home. Good money.
Love how this channel is trying to do (even if it is not an explicit or conscious statement) what feminism has failed to do; Mend the misunderstandings between the sexes, find the balance between liberation from roles and using roles as guidelines for succesful living (in a cooperative way, instead of using information about sex-specific traits/statistics/etc. as weapons to gain power over men. A process which seeps into the research itself, what hypotheses are chosen, what is looked at, what angle is taken, etc., in the same manner ideology corrupts epistemological proces throughout academia), explore the social consequences of various beliefs about men and women, etc. Great stuff.
Reminder to get Curtis Yarvin on the pod
Feminism tried to do that? What have you been smoking? Femism has been female jingoism since day one.
@@BlunderCity Read his first sentence correctly for goodness' sake.
I think that there is effect conflation between male-female inequality and male-to-male inequality. If men were more equal in terms of earnings, we could be selected on other factors. The same is true for women on the factors that matter to men. If every woman were a fit, aspiring housewife trying to get married at/by 22, men would have plenty of good-enough, fresh young women to marry and the super-hotties who didn't have the character would be overlooked with ease. Fix a family law and the whole martial problem is solved.
I was thinking about this concept recently.
Yes, obviously there are statistics about how dating is getting worse for men. But what are the attractiveness levels of men today compared to many years ago?
Obesity is an epidemic. Sports and physical activity are on a downturn. More and more people are working non-physical or trade jobs, instead working in offices or hospitality. Sense of style and homogeneity has drastically changed as well. Look at pics of young men from the fifties, and they're all slim, healthy looking, stylish fellows. All of them. Compare that to the average young man now.
@@skinnysnorlax1876 Maybe in America... but even in America, Womens BMI on average is till quite higher then the mens... meaning there is much more fat women around then fat men in the US
The "dating crisis" comes from a perfect storm with deeper causes than income/education disparity. Women don't need to rely so much on being stereotypically "sexy" when they lean into their femininity and character development; likewise, men increase their chances regardless of income when they develop their character and masculinity. Weak men and hardened women are both problems.
When you address these, you also address the more important issue of long-term family stability. Epidemic divorce only perpetuates much of the root issues of these problems.
Well said!
Spot on.
I think the only way out of this problem is if high value men get married and remove themselves and one woman from the dating market. Right now with social media, we are basically at a huge singles church and the top men are still there just hooking up and having flings while the women become unfulfilling booty calls for them in hopes of it being more, and the rest of the men just slowly stop going to the church at all.
I'm 13:00 minutes in, and NOTHING has been said about how addicting the VALIDATION AND ATTENTION women receive from posting their selfies. SMH.
Not to mention the delusions of grandeur that gives them.... 🙄
Water is wet btw, just in case you didn't know 😬
Dr Khandis Blake, a charming lady with a beautiful mind!! I find this session very important and interesting.
What an amazing world and time we live in where we can delve into these issues and benefit or become depressed over these amazing educated conversations. All casually over morning coffee from home thank you.
I've never been intrigued by all the ways and means women engage in vanity. From my youth, this has always been an indicator of truncated emotional maturity. Women tend to socialize like parakeets; they make a lot of noise, do a lot of exhibition behavior thinking that approach to life would just naturally incur male attention. The closer women bond with a male, the less they find themselves competing for attention, and the more maturation they attain. In my estimation, women more so than men do not understand that dating is not about exhibition, that it is not an effective tool for LTR mate selection, and mate generative behaviors do not end with the pomp and frills of their married status, but is a life-long activity.
I've also found that listening to Chri's podcasts while germane to gender/current issues, generally falls short of where they ought to be. I've not been impressed with most of his guests. In part, this is due to them not having sufficient life experience to penetrate through the cloud of current analytical jibber-jabber. I suppose these days there's not many folks around like James Flynn. Neil deGrasse Tyson may appear to be a savvy scientist, but astrophysics is the barrel sludge of science, whereas social/psychological professions are not science at all. Even JBP seems to not understand this, despite his keen analytical mind. The most value I can apprehend with these topics as discussed is for the young who are beginning to cut their critical thinking teeth.
Its always been a bit of amusement to watch sociologists do all the surveys and data filtering to come up with common wisdom. I watched before this a foreign woman describing why it is hard for men to understand women, saying, what women think is not what comes out of their mouth. A truism that's been around for centuries. So much for over/under estimating females....
Social and psychological events can be, and have been measured. For example, depending on what you read, you will find that 72%-85% of all incarcerated men have one particular psychological phenomenon in common.
@@proudatheist2042 Observed and categorized. Humans cannot be measured the way Nature is. Classifying and statistical analysis isn't science.
What other recommendation you got? I mean, authors, physiologists, books, documentaries, etc? I see your point of the guests
@@elchucapablas Not sure what subjects you’re looking for. On the matter of the Psycho professions:
Australian and New Zealand Journal of Psychiatry 2002; 36:812-815; *Eysenck’s challenge to psychotherapy: a view of the effects 50 years on.*
Eysenck reported some very embarrassing aspects about the profession which the authors in the above paper struggle to refute.
In Garth Wood’s book *Myth of Neurosis*, there are Notes and/or references that also discuss the inefficacy of the psycho professions.
Dr Thomas Szasz was a noted professor of considerable opposition by his peers. He stated that he chose Psychology to expose its fraudulence, and he did a damn good job of it. Notable books are *The Myth of Psychotherapy, The Myth of Mental Illness, and his last, Psychiatry, The Science of Lies.* I don’t know how the last book got titled. Dr Szasz would be the first to say Psychiatry is not a science.
Dr Peter Breggin also published a number of books discrediting the profession. *Toxic Psychiatry* is one. Peter doesn’t go as far as Szasz.
Dr Jeffrey Masson, past director of the Freud Archives, some of his books; *Against Therapy, Assault on Truth, Final Analysis.*
On the matter of Physics:
Dr Thomas Phipps, *Old Physics For New* (Heavy reading about Einstein’s Clock Experiment, Time, Energy, Electrodynamics, Geometry. Good stuff if you have a good grounding in the subject) There are also several white papers he’s published, downloadable.
Dr Halton Arp, *Seeing Red*. To the extent Chip avoided Einsteinian “Physics” it’s an illuminating read.
Lyndon Ashmore, *Intrinsic Plasma Redshifts Now Reproduced In The Laboratory-a Discussion in
Terms of New Tired Light.* This paper supports Arps “controversial” findings.
Dr Stephen Crothers, Any/all the videos and papers on Black Holes/Relativity
John G. Cramer, *The Retarding of Science* downloadable
BG Wallace, *The Farce of Physics*, downloadable
DB Larson, *The Case Against the Nuclear Atom*, downloadable
Nikola Tesla on Relativity, You Tube
and tons more. Be aware that some of the material is dated, though the basic premise presented is sound. It’s a challenge to weed through the nonsense, even for people like me with a degree in Science & Technology with 33 yrs experience. Larson observed one troubling thing: Even the people who write many of today’s papers have difficulty understanding what they wrote!
@@elchucapablas An after thought on the topic of women--
Every man's library should consist of this material: *The Manipulated Man* by Esther Vilar, *The Anatomy of Female Power* by Chinweizu (downloadable), How Women Manipulate by David Morrow, and *The Emotional Terrorist* by Erin Pizzey. There are view points by each of these authors I do not agree with simply due to identifying the subtle gynocentric programming in today's culture some ideas are not obvious in passing. But if I'd had these tomes 50 yrs ago I could have saved myself a LOT of anguish.
Women are not hypergamous because of income inequality. Women who earn good money ($100k/year and more) still want men who earn the same or more because now they are used a certain lifestyle and don't want to compromise. Women do not want to go back in lifestyle, especially when they have worked hard to achieve a certain lifestyle through education and career. It's also related to the attributes a man must have to make money and afford certain lifestyle. Those attributes make men attractive to women - competent, ambitious, assertive, confident, dominant, etc.
Posting selfies can be as benign as just wanting to matter. Likes make you feel like you matter. Someone saw you and liked.
Wow, this is one of the best videos I've ever seen. So many fascinating topics mentioned in just 80 minutes.
Keep up the good work Chris. Love the podcast.
not even watched this yet. My starting position is the make up selfie thing is the pissing content that women have to play amongst themselves while blaming men that they arent satisfied with their faces
i feel like we are thinking the previous generations did not have the challenges we are facing now but in reality the exterior may change but the core of the problem is still the same. at least now we can hear expert opinions and make an informed decision.
thank you MW
Love these people who have seen both sides. It's so easy to not know what you don't know and think that you have a more complete picture than what is the reality.
"Men have these other ways of achieving status that aren't necessarily as easy for women to achieve" at 6:36. The main thing that gives men status with women is money. And single women out-earn single men. She is talking "gender studies" at that point, trying to make things sound unfair to women when they are not.
The Kardashian effect. Where status has moved to a hyper state a movie star effect for looks only . Dr. Blake has covered the cause very well. The end goal has changed from getting a mate to being a higher status for female . The value of status is at best transitory and by it nature not of a tangible state. A social construct that has value to many . Once you move beyond a need for it magically you awarded a position of of high status because you do not care about it . fine video.
8
the paradox description is spot on ❤
Like the meme l: a man is taking pictures of a beautiful mountain scene….
His wife is taking similar photos of herself with the same mountain in the background. 😂
Men look outward, women look inward, generally speaking.
100% true in my experience and I travel a lot.
It is a funny meme, but I’ve also found that when I look back on travel photos that I prefer those with people I know in them over scenery-only photos, even if they are beautiful enough to be postcards.
The man is oblivious to the fact his wife is unhappy and being hypergamous by nature she is advertising for husband number two? Evolutionary psychology at the meme level?
I've never understood status seeking. I just want to hide away and be ignored by the world. But nope, I have to work and be sociable and date etc. Just to seem normal. Ugh
The higher the status, the more resources at your disposal [generally speaking] the more resources available the more likely your children won't starve.
It's instinctive behaviour in many species including humans.
i mean you dont really need to, or atleast can minimize it to your liking
reject humanity embrace monke
Interesting user icon, love 😂❤
I don't understand it either. I don't like talking to people, and I've often had problems with police and the like because I don't want to look at them or answer questions because I'm shy and private.
I don't want kids and never have, so many that's why I dont care about status or resource grabbing. A man doesn't need much
beauty = perception of health.
Yes and same for women, except when we went to money systems. Women over 35 have increased mental retardation risk for their children though still the vast majority are healthy (as long as the woman is still able to carry.) Men over 35 who have children give their kids a much higher risk of autism, adhd, schizophrenia and autoimmune disorders that don’t manifest to medical awareness until years or decades after birth. In fact, all things being equal, a child has a better chance of health being born to an older mother with a young (below 35) father than a child who is born to an older FATHER with a younger mother. Combine this with the stats of pharmaceuticals for sexual functioning in men over 35 and it’s very clear to see that men don’t have longer HEALTHY reproductive years than women. Unfortunately, this is the scared cow of sexism so these facts are mostly ignored when they need to be hammered. It’s actually a good thing to realize this for equality-but even more important--it’s a FACT.
@@juneelle370 Pregnancy over 35 doesn't only risk mental retardation, it is linked with a wide array of genetic disorders and illnesses, just like older sperm, funny how you left that out. Pregnancy over 35 also poses a lot of risks for the mother's health as well, since they are the ones carrying the baby, not the man. Clearly women are way more impacted in this aspect, because men just have to ejaculate and carry on, there is no debate about that.
Men fare better reproductively quite simply because their ability to make a baby remains almost at its peak till about 45 and it gradually declines from there, women's ability starts dropping rapidly at 35 and by 40 it's barely above 0. Sure you have worse odds of having a healthy baby later in life, but at least the guy still has a dice to roll. Women lose that dice completely after a point. You're comparing a hand that misses 1 finger with a hand that misses 3 fingers, one is still pretty functional, the other isn't.
It's not an issue of sexism, it's just reality. But sure, if we are purely talking about the best age to maximize the outcome of getting bestest and healthiest baby possible, then it's 20, people should mate at 20. Not 25, not 30, not 40, it's 20.
@@mrdouche9172 it's well known that women over 35 have a higher rate of children with mental retardation though the vast majority come out fine (1 in aprox 350) but men over 35 give their children vert serious health issues not seen in utero (autism, adhd, schitzophrenia and autoimmune issues). All in all a child has a better chance at health w an older mother as long as she can carry than an older father. This is a stubborn issue that is actively avoided.
@@juneelle370 Your mistake here is assuming that women over 35 only risk mental retardation. Advanced maternal age besides mental retardation and central nervous system disorders has also been linked with autism spectrum disorders, BPD, psychotic disorders and other disorders. I don't know where you got this idea that women over 35 only have to worry about down syndrome.
@@mrdouche9172 You are in complete denial that advanced paternal age harms children as well and equally or greater. The difference is men's bodies go on producing damaged defective sperm that affect their offspring and society has not come to accept these facts---mainly due to motivated reasoning/denial. Even the stats on viagra use for sexual functioning over 35 arent integeated into awareness. I dont want men to feel bad but the fact is men dont age better reproductively at all
Wait. What income inequality is she referring to? 🤔 The one where men get paid more bc they work more hrs than women bc they’re more able to and for longer periods?
I enjoyed the interview but was a little perplexed about the aforementioned.
Thanks for the top content you provide, Chris!
Courting men and getting a confidence boost are the main reasons. In my experience, if the girl has a good relationship with her father, she is less likely to do it (he sets boundaries for her and encourages modesty). If a woman has an impaired relationship with her father or he is absent, then they are more likely to post risque photos. This appears to be because of a lack of guidance and also the yearning for male validation by the woman. It is as if she is trying to fill the void of a lack of a father. Male validation is HUGE for women, no wonder they risk social ostracisation and being shamed all in the pursuit of male validation.
Another solid ep!
*Beauty is power.* It's how women compete for top men. Women instinctively intuit the basic game rules of sexual competition and Darwinism, when doing selfies:
-men value beauty, judge women on the basis of youth and beauty
-beauty is an enormous social advantage for a woman
-beauty is for a woman, what very high status is, for a man
-women judge men far more harshly than men judge women
-on dating apps, 80% of women only swipe for only the top 10% of men
-women create tremendous competition among each other, for top male attention
-women create all this beauty competition, each trying to gain social advantage
-wealth and privilege in males is heavily concentrated in males, but only top 10% of men have it
-so by competing along beauty lines, women are trying to mate with top men, via beauty signals
-women know that they judge men by status, whereas men judge women by youth and beauty
-the underlying biology behind beauty competition is fertility, largely tied to a woman's age
-male sexual desire for women is a lot higher than female sexual desire for males
-this imbalance of desire gives women advantage over men, they can manipulate men with it
Women objectify themselves, because it gives them power over men. If The Patriarchy is real, it's real in the sense that among men, wealth, power and privilege are heavily concentrated into a small portion of the male population. Yes, a tiny proportion of men have a lot of power. But: Most men have zero power or wealth or privilege. Yet women blame most men for having power they don't in fact have. That's the big lie. Pretending all men have power over women, rather than the truth that most men have little power but are competing for women, serving women, is a social act of deception women use, to control men.
Our social narrative of Woke feminism, on the Patriarchy? It's mostly a lie.
How the lie of all men having power over all women gets unnoticed, for being a lie: The Woke theory of The Patriarchy is based on comparing women and men, as groups. That's where the lying begins. Women don't compare themselves to most men, just the top ones....whom women desire. There is a tiny kernel of truth, within this Woke lie. All good lies have a tiny kernel of truth within the big lie.
Woke feminists resent that a few men at the top have power, so Woke feminists generalize all that resentment onto all men, pretending all men have that Patriarchy power. The truth is the opposite: Most men are literally invisible to most women. How it works: Women get away with lying about male power, by only comparing women to the top men, never comparing women to the average man, who has no power. It's a big Woke lie, that gets away with being an undetected social lie, via a false comparison. The social fairy tale of "The Patriarchy" is created, via female resentment and manipulation of all males, getting them to believe a false comparison:
Most of what is said about The Patriarchy by The Woke is a lie, it's a lie created by feminists, who ignore female power, how it works. The Patriarchy nonsense is created by female resentment and the need to socially manipulate men, to get men to go along with female lies and manipulation. It starts with manipulating most men, to accept that lie. Many men are happy to believe the lie, just to keep women happy. Or at least, go along with the lie, not challenge the lie.
How the Woke lie works: Females compare all females to the tiny male powerful elite, ignore the powerlessness of most males; instead only comparing all females to top men, which provides the fuel for Woke resentment between the sexes. It's Woke lying, via a false comparison. Yes, the Patriarchy is real. The secret is: most men are not part of it, only a tiny percentage of men have tremendous power. Most men don't.
This is how the Woke social fairy tale of "The Patriarchy" was created. Via a false comparison. So by comparing themselves to top men, women create an illusion that men have all the power. They even lie about how that top male power comes about and what drives it: We are not even being honest, that even top male power is based on male desire for women, male desire to please women and men competing with each other, to please women. The idea that men concoct a plan to 'oppress' women is a laughable joke. Men can't oppress women, because we love women, we come from a woman, we are shaped by women, shaped to please women. The only real male plan, is to make women happy. Men spend their lives in the service of women, because men evolved as thirsty and dependent on women. And we are thirsty. Men are thirsty. Selfies give women a tool to manipulate male thirst.
That male thirst is then manipulated by Woke women, who know exactly what they are doing. Women are manipulating men, to serve them. It's evolution. Women literally evolved to manipulate men via beauty signals, are so clever at it, so very very clever at it, that many men actually believe they have power over women. It's the other way around, mostly: Women are very good at manipulating men. So good at it, most men don't even notice, they are being manipulated by women, by their own desire. Evolution is manipulating both genders, actually. So let's just put a halt to the Woke Fairytale. Most men are like horses, pulling a wagon. The horse thinks it's in charge. No it's not.
How do we end the lie? Follow Jordan Peterson's advice: tell the truth. Just sit back, enjoy life, enjoy being manipulated by evolution. We don't have a choice. It's actually kinda fun, being manipulated. Enjoy the ride.
This was an absolutely fantastic comment, straight truth
@@benedictcabiling5627 thanks, mate!
A view similar to 'The manipulated man - Esther Vilar'. The pdf can be found online and read in an hour or so
I tell men all of the time that their hunger for sex allows most women to control them. These men act like they don’t care or seem surprised by it but just shrug their shoulders and continue doing the same thing. The ability to refuse sex from women is a super-power and I wish men could understand this .
you are a genius. did you get this insight yourself?
Wonder how many men are turned off or concerned (as a sign of narcissm) by excessive selfie posting?
We can look at this from an individual or from a structural point of view and that is often forgotten about .... the world these woman and men live in on a daily basis !Yes , the societal level !
It's this simple: Men seek beauty, women seek money for relationships.
Women know they have a limited time to snag a man with enough money to support her and a family. Women don't wanna work full time all their lives and retire on a tight budget. By looking beautiful, women are putting themselves up for sale to the highest bidder.
If women are competing with each other with their appearance, they're telling other women they look good enough to have a fabulously comfortable life with social status and a carefree retirement.
Attractiveness is a form of power.
Expressing attractiveness is expressing power.
War Paint was a common term when I was growing up for when a girl was doing her make up to her top notch.
Same same! Definitely sums up the picture imo regarding female/female competition
That is an excellent question.
Hey podcast lovers. Here’s an idea: I’m creating a data base of all of Chris’s podcasts (in a free notion table) so you can find and browse the topics of their specific interest.
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- Guest's expertise
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I can't wait until they get competitive about being mothers
Women that compete, rarely admit they're competing.
At min 36:20, the question is asked how do we cure the decline in relationships today's environment with women earning more - and I think the perfect solution is the younger women to date older men. For example, the 25 year old women should be dating the 30 year old men (5 year age gap or even perhaps 10 to 15 years). Statistically, men five years older earn significantly, are more mature emotionally. And, that may mean women seeking a marriage partner at a younger age. A 25-year old woman will expand her selection of men greatly by dating older (similar to men's selection).
I've always had this hypothesis that all of my namesakes who were born around my age (early millennials) are all fascinating/talented women. (No matter the spelling variations.. 😄)
I found all her dating experiments designed so clever, and worthy of replication.
Still though, you were the brighter gem in this interview, Chris! 💜
For the men who are struggling, there will be a labor shortage in the trades. Pursue that and concentrate on saving as much as possible and becoming elite in your trade. For the women, let them know the level of education achieved is not an indicator of masculinity. Have you seen the guys graduating from college... Just a thought, maybe stupid....
For women the desire for educated men doesn’t just come from the desire of resources but finding compatibility or a more self assured intelligent man they could talk to and won’t limit what they feel comfortable talking to their partners about. A lot of women are also trying to avoid dating men they out-earn due to the likelihood of those men cheating due to feeling “emasculated” due to men associating masculinity with dominating and femininity with more doormat and subservient qualities. It’s very common for men who earn less than their partners to seek extramarital affairs or even sugaring because they feel women more broke than them are willing to bend over backwards to please the guys and tolerate BS due to being financially dependent on them. To a lot of men that’s a confidence or ego boost or affirming. It’s awful but yeah what a lot of guys are hating is basically that women are more alert and aware about these things and deliberate avoiding these situations or not participating at all. Which again is a nightmare for guys since they’re neither getting the ego fix/validation not being used for sex hence it’s frustrating. Men are frustrated the prey has gotten smart.
@@naikjoyx4291 good luck trying to live off the grid, you'll find the actually skills you need are...trade skills.
I'm a woman asking that same question because I have never done that.
it is usually insecure women who do it
@@shinzagu they are...thanks to social media. Which is why it's best to find a woman who uses very little social media.
You’re either very attractive, intelligent, empathetic or all. Or the opposite. Most women are in between hence insecure thus common. When you have nothing to lose or gain you tend to not worry about that hence my commentary. It makes sense, if you’re secure in your ability to secure yourself, meet social standards and fulfill them, you don’t become hellbent on doing anything to secure more because you will always have unless something awful happens or you’re just not bright. However when you lack all conventionality you have peace for the same reason, you’re at peace due to not needing to compete nor attracting competition which is a blessing in itself. In life the two luckiest people are a homely (not ugly but not average or very attractive) women and very good looking men, for the same reasons. The worst things to be are attractive women from a normal background (not wealthy) and unattractive women, for the same reasons. Being a guy doesn’t hurt unless you lack financials, if you have financials you can manipulate much of human nature and society by buying to override women’s nature. Will the attention be 100 true? No, but at least you have sex and that’s what a lot of men care about, at least the opportunity.
@@shinzaguwell everyone is insecure to some degree .
Fantastic conversation. Thank you.
As always; informative and reflective content
OMG Chris!
I think you must go slow so that we can catch up.
You have created the content of more than a lifetime to digest.
Narcissism
38:38: "(women's) preferences for men who are more educated than themselves have started to relax"
Maybe for getting into a relationship.
But it still doesn't solve for STAYING in a relationship.
My considerations is that we have something different from old times:
People can see tones of more options than before, causing them the FOMO(Feeling Of Missing Out).
FOMO causes people to be very unsatisfied in their current relationship, then it contributes with breakups. There you have relationships instability.
100%
Well, it must be also related to Education.
Fat Studies & Women Studies .... are kind of Education, but it's not the same as STEM fields.
It's not only IQ differences, but also affects the Income.
Also we dramatically increased the Administration class across the industries.
Those jobs are like 80% occupied by Women.
HR & DEI & Marketing & ... Departments increased dramatically.
Price of Education has skyrocketed. They say that some universities have more Administrators than Students.
Recently, the Tech companies start fireing people, & end up fireing mostly Women.
I guess, b/c those jobs are not essential for the business.
....
*
I guess my point is that we can lower the number of Women with Degrees just by limiting the number of Degrees Avalable.
Or we can create Boldness & Red Pill Studies for men. We will have more men with the stupid Degrees.
@@bestdjaf7499 , "...we can lower"
That would be "we who"?
I think we shouldn't do anything.
It is not something the State or other institution should step into.
The best teacher is the consequences.
But... the problem is that very soon law makers will try to clown around with new laws.
They'll come up with laws and incentives$$, preventing people from facing the consequences of their decisions.