M&B Bannerlord Is A Perfectly Balanced Game With No Exploits - Infinite Free Castles Is Broken

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  • Опубліковано 17 січ 2025

КОМЕНТАРІ • 3,5 тис.

  • @MrJekaKuzmin
    @MrJekaKuzmin 4 роки тому +1634

    Imagine this first guy returning home to his wife and he's starting to brag about how lucky he was to buy a wolf's head, bottle of oil and a cow in exchange for a family castle. And then he suddenly realizes...

    • @BetterwithMirko
      @BetterwithMirko 4 роки тому +8

      XD

    • @jerbar1280
      @jerbar1280 4 роки тому +172

      Well, it's not *his* wife anymore, the wife now belongs to the Spiff, he is left with a now rotting wolf's head, a bottle or rancid oil and a (most likely dead) cow.

    • @handy142
      @handy142 4 роки тому +24

      @@jerbar1280 If it's not dead then it soon will be

    • @punchcrush11
      @punchcrush11 4 роки тому +9

      He could've haggled up to a bear head instead.

    • @soldatdaniels8738
      @soldatdaniels8738 4 роки тому +4

      AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

  • @m.a.t.a.s
    @m.a.t.a.s 4 роки тому +3398

    "A horse! A horse! My kingdom for a horse!" -Every noble in Calradia

    • @gurthener5858
      @gurthener5858 4 роки тому +99

      But it is Glorious Glitterhoof. Totally worth it.

    • @Nevir202
      @Nevir202 4 роки тому +39

      Or the Worms Armageddon version:
      “A donkey, a donkey, my kingdom for a donkey.” As he literally did almost exactly that. 🤣

    • @2buxaslice
      @2buxaslice 4 роки тому +18

      Now I want to play Civ again. Hey look! I can't leave my house! Perfect timing.

    • @mrbuff08
      @mrbuff08 4 роки тому +4

      the kings reactions reminded me of jack and the beanstalk tactics

    • @JessWLStuart
      @JessWLStuart 4 роки тому +5

      100 Stat Horse? Yes Please!

  • @bierrollerful
    @bierrollerful 4 роки тому +252

    I can imagine what the code for that "buy cities" perk looks like:
    def trade_perk_225(cities, offer):
    # TODO: Jake, finish this. Also I wish you all the best for the next year. 2014 is gonna be great.
    return cities

    • @EnjoyCocaColaLight
      @EnjoyCocaColaLight 4 роки тому +3

      That's not C#
      Why'd you write anything in not-C#?

    • @stayhigh66
      @stayhigh66 4 роки тому +6

      @@EnjoyCocaColaLight fam, that was a joke stfu

    • @jaapaap123
      @jaapaap123 4 роки тому +5

      @@EnjoyCocaColaLight obviously because C# sucks!

  • @tjtruejustice5277
    @tjtruejustice5277 4 роки тому +1367

    When Spiff thought an early acess Mount and Blade game was free real estate this wasn't what he was thinking of.

    • @ironmilutin
      @ironmilutin 4 роки тому +51

      It's not free though... they're actually paying him money to get those cities off their hands

    • @gabemobley3851
      @gabemobley3851 4 роки тому +8

      Hahaha hahahahahsha haha 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
      Why is that so funny 😂😂😂

    • @tf-mr-blue748
      @tf-mr-blue748 4 роки тому +2

      I give u 1k likes

    • @vitkien
      @vitkien 3 роки тому +1

      @@ironmilutin So free money and land. Still free

  • @enderskapep.4313
    @enderskapep.4313 4 роки тому +470

    The fact that all the lords enter the conversations as literally slack-jawed morons makes this exploit so much more satisfying to watch.

    • @michaelbim-merle4752
      @michaelbim-merle4752 4 роки тому +1

      Facts

    • @ShitStainedBallSack
      @ShitStainedBallSack 4 роки тому

      Realistic

    • @masterjedi343
      @masterjedi343 4 роки тому +12

      I just imagine the conversation going like this
      "You...give me your CASTLE AND YOUR LANDS! I....I WILL GIVE YOU..." looks around. Takes a bottle of oil out of pocket. "THIS!"
      Lord: . . . . .*brain loading* YES! I accept!

    • @brandon7227
      @brandon7227 4 роки тому

      Also, they are traveling across the map to give over their land because he's summoning them into his army.

  • @bleblb
    @bleblb 3 роки тому +161

    I'm playing using charming skill, every time the kingdom I'm being a vassal of takes any land, I'm always the most voted for to be given this land. When I joined the kingdom, they were at war and sieged a castle, I was surprised to notice that, even though I didn't participate, they gave me that castle.

    • @bleblb
      @bleblb 3 роки тому +10

      And no, I haven't ever done any personal quest for any lord of this kingdom, they just love me seemingly for no reason

    • @St0neyWanKenobi
      @St0neyWanKenobi 2 роки тому +7

      When i originally started, having experience with warband, i realized i could rig the voting to get me the best castles by leading assaults on smaller castles, but letting npcs claim them, snd hitting towns after so the vote would overwhelmingly go to me for towns. Ended up with about 8 last time i played. Going to see if i can still do that

    • @D4l4m4r
      @D4l4m4r 2 роки тому +7

      Basicly the chances of getting a new fief depend on 2 things:
      Number of fiefs already held and proximity to other fiefs owned.
      A clan that has newly joined a faction and has 0 fiefs will almost always get the first fiefs that become available.

    • @abrafo1891
      @abrafo1891 2 роки тому

      Same thing happened to me

  • @stefanorolando6674
    @stefanorolando6674 4 роки тому +270

    "Your great grandfather bought our empire with a cow and you can't even do your homework!? Get to work, boy!"

  • @bradleymorgan8223
    @bradleymorgan8223 4 роки тому +355

    I love how the vassals all look shell-shocked as you swindle them out of every last dime they own

    • @synthetic240
      @synthetic240 4 роки тому +31

      "Wait... what just happened? He's just so... enchanting."

    • @Daftanemone
      @Daftanemone 4 роки тому +19

      This is the first mount and blade video I’ve watched and these faces haunt the hell out of me. I imagine every persons mouth having whole family of flies in them

    • @MrMediator24
      @MrMediator24 4 роки тому +7

      @@Daftanemone taking into account it's medieval times, that not far from truth

  • @ericmcquisten
    @ericmcquisten 3 роки тому +55

    "And... it's gone!" ... your town is gone sir... you're not really good at this trading thing are you."
    The Spiffing Brit reminds of the banker from South Park (episode Margaritaville) [13:3]

  • @Torlik11
    @Torlik11 4 роки тому +517

    The game: "You need to collect banner pieces to help defeat the empire"
    Spiff: "I am the empire!"

    • @bettertelevision968
      @bettertelevision968 4 роки тому +14

      not yet master palpatine

    • @davidbullock8681
      @davidbullock8681 4 роки тому +2

      BetterTelevision not yet

    • @wickederebus
      @wickederebus 4 роки тому +4

      Yorkshire
      Eternal
      Tea

    • @Hoplasa
      @Hoplasa 4 роки тому +5

      theres two parts to that quest either help combine the empire together or help destroy it, but i assume he didnt even check

    • @DaijiSann__
      @DaijiSann__ 4 роки тому

      @@wickederebus *Y E T*

  • @ethanol1989
    @ethanol1989 4 роки тому +1305

    You missed an opportunity with the queen. You could've offered one horse for all of her land
    A horse, a horse. Her kingdom for a horse.

    • @clevercoins5360
      @clevercoins5360 4 роки тому +7

      Ethanol nice

    • @WolfJustWolf
      @WolfJustWolf 4 роки тому +6

      Was thinking the exact same thing

    • @johnathon5455
      @johnathon5455 4 роки тому +2

      What’s that from?

    • @pedrolmlkzk
      @pedrolmlkzk 4 роки тому +8

      @@johnathon5455 Willian the III (I think?) From Shakespeare

    • @SheyD78
      @SheyD78 4 роки тому +15

      @@pedrolmlkzk Richard the III, but yes, Shakepeare. Actually saw Derek Jacobi performing it in London but as I was 11 at the time I was more concerned with finding the bathroom. The theatre had curtains over the walls so I couldn't find the door.

  • @Akodeys
    @Akodeys 4 роки тому +82

    I love how the AI nobles look with their mouths open like they are saying "thank you for the stuff an.. Wait what do you mean you now own my lands?"

  • @dwreanchinotan
    @dwreanchinotan 4 роки тому +609

    a wolf's head, a bottle of oil, and a cow...
    that offer sounds... fetishy

    • @tommeakin1732
      @tommeakin1732 4 роки тому +60

      *BREAKING NEWS:* _Crazed oily man hate-fucks cow while wearing wolf's head_

    • @Repugnantone
      @Repugnantone 4 роки тому +10

      Sounds more like a MacGyver joke gone wrong.

    • @brandonwachter2264
      @brandonwachter2264 4 роки тому +4

      🐴+🍯 😉

    • @Blording
      @Blording 4 роки тому +5

      1 week later, found feral in woods covered in oil, cow blood, and wearing nothing but a wolf's pelt.
      Claims to be werewolf.

    • @Reishadowen
      @Reishadowen 4 роки тому +2

      Damn it! And I was just on my way to the comments section to make that joke when I heard the line. Low and behold, first one on the list.

  • @BlackWolf18C
    @BlackWolf18C 4 роки тому +592

    "That's a very generous offer, sir, but I must ask. Why are you paying me to take your castle?"
    "Simple, my good man! My wife lives there!"

    • @tisbutanerd3547
      @tisbutanerd3547 4 роки тому +13

      That makes sense

    • @linkinmusic559
      @linkinmusic559 4 роки тому +47

      Glorious boomer humor

    • @actionman4520
      @actionman4520 4 роки тому +1

      It most certainly is!

    • @Nick-rr4xy
      @Nick-rr4xy 4 роки тому +10

      "Hey honey, can I go out golfing with the other lords?"
      "Yes but only if you come home at 9."
      No need to go home if you sell your home.

    • @Baldnewsnetwork
      @Baldnewsnetwork 4 роки тому +1

      BlackWolf18C LOL 😂

  • @skem9622
    @skem9622 2 роки тому +147

    I imagine spiff has a child riding with him and his commentary is what he’s saying to the child and it just makes everything so much funnier

    • @JourneyJournal1998
      @JourneyJournal1998 2 роки тому +7

      You have made my experience better watching this thank you

    • @connorbarton4308
      @connorbarton4308 Рік тому +5

      Plot twist - you are the spiff child you have just committed reverse adoption congratulations

  • @Tosh31316
    @Tosh31316 4 роки тому +509

    "This has been the worst trade deal in the history of trade deals, maybe ever"

    • @MrMediator24
      @MrMediator24 4 роки тому +6

      Except for Russia trading Alaska

    • @BeesNTrees47
      @BeesNTrees47 4 роки тому +3

      @@MrMediator24 Louisiana purchase was even better

    • @88porpoise
      @88porpoise 4 роки тому +4

      Joe Bourassa Napoleon got $15 million dollars for a piece of land he stole from Spain, that France had little to no effective control over, and was most likely to get seized by the US and/or Britain in the near future since France had no way to defend it. I don’t think that is a bad deal.

    • @DoneFinEnd
      @DoneFinEnd 4 роки тому +1

      Um ... what about Electoral votes for Trump - that was a pretty bad deal.

    • @Chrisfragger1
      @Chrisfragger1 4 роки тому

      @@DoneFinEnd TDS! REEE!!!!

  • @kazocky618
    @kazocky618 4 роки тому +603

    YES. KOTOR exploits almost 17 years after the relase of the game. Truly perfectly balanced. The only thing I can say is yes plz

    • @ashleybull4450
      @ashleybull4450 4 роки тому +3

      Surely every explot has been found and exploited to death. Not too much to even exploit with KOTOR that really benefits the game play.

    • @Blemmo
      @Blemmo 4 роки тому +1

      We need a spiff on the dark side

    • @kleb3510
      @kleb3510 4 роки тому +2

      Or a video version of the legendary space jesus! (very funny kotor play through if not heard of)

    • @spicydeath82
      @spicydeath82 4 роки тому +2

      there was an exploit where you could equip the sand people outifts inside a town and everyone would attack you so you could kill them. talk about loads of loot.

    • @zackfishle1009
      @zackfishle1009 4 роки тому +1

      Just metioning KoTOR makes me want to play it again. Sadly, I am working. Well, not too sad given the cirumstances.

  • @IgnisDomini97
    @IgnisDomini97 4 роки тому +158

    Theory: This bug was because the AI was accounting for the upkeep settlements cost them, but not any of the benefits they give.

  • @makebritaingreatagain2613
    @makebritaingreatagain2613 4 роки тому +429

    There was actually a Japanese feudal lord who traded a castle for a slightly wonky teapot, so this game is just being historically accurate.

  • @gabrield4656
    @gabrield4656 4 роки тому +761

    Every exploited noble:
    “I’m never gonna financially recover from this”

    • @taargon9482
      @taargon9482 4 роки тому +1

      free john exotic

    • @redhulk4048
      @redhulk4048 4 роки тому +11

      "But atleast I have these baggy trunks."

    • @twackburn
      @twackburn 4 роки тому +6

      @@redhulk4048 Bandit Warbands: "It's free real estate."

    • @chrishansen1842
      @chrishansen1842 4 роки тому +2

      "This has been the worst trade deal in the history of trade deals maybe ever."

  • @niwatori2
    @niwatori2 4 роки тому +59

    After watching this I have the mental image of a naked man riding on a cow with oil all over his body wearing a wolves head

    • @dysphoria_1.040
      @dysphoria_1.040 4 роки тому +6

      This is why I dont like video games because they appeal to the male fantasy

  • @derek9218
    @derek9218 4 роки тому +319

    Damn.. “I literally have so much money I can’t see it”
    That’s the kinda problems we needs.

    • @wickederebus
      @wickederebus 4 роки тому +14

      Tell that to post ww1 Germany

    • @Poppadop1
      @Poppadop1 4 роки тому

      @@wickederebus Oh, and when people realize someone like Spiff stole all that money, you sometimes get pre-WW2 Germany...

    • @wickederebus
      @wickederebus 4 роки тому

      Hmm, I think my joke was misunderstood.
      I was referring to the mass printing that post ww1 Germany did, to the point that you had to pay by the wheelbarrowload to get a load of bread.

    • @Poppadop1
      @Poppadop1 4 роки тому

      @@wickederebus No, I got the joke. I was referring to the mass printing coming from super rich crooks, Germans figuring this out, and not liking it.

  • @Matamoros212
    @Matamoros212 4 роки тому +320

    Genie: you have 3 wishes and no wish for extra wishes!
    Me: I wish I had zero wishes left
    Genie: granted. you have 255 wishes left

    • @dominges
      @dominges 4 роки тому +24

      Easy... Spiff would wish for 1. I wish I am immortal 2. I Wish you (the Jin) to obey me until I die (see what I did here :) ) 3. I wish people would accept everything I say and act upon it as I wish ;)

    • @PrivateSlacker
      @PrivateSlacker 4 роки тому +22

      @@dominges That's great, until one day you accidentally mutter "fuck my life".

    • @anonymoususer638
      @anonymoususer638 4 роки тому +1

      I wish for more genies

    • @katzewerfer63
      @katzewerfer63 4 роки тому

      your genies in another bottle

    • @msw260
      @msw260 4 роки тому +1

      @@PrivateSlacker hahahahahahahaha🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @OvAeons
    @OvAeons 4 роки тому +75

    With those expressions, this feels like it could be a Monty Python skit. Lmao

  • @roth4916
    @roth4916 4 роки тому +442

    "I'm going to buy lots of food"
    Proceeds to buy out ALL OF THE CLAY

    • @SirAndischa
      @SirAndischa 4 роки тому +31

      You can slurp it, you can chew it, you can crunch on it. Its so versatile and full of minerals.

    • @roth4916
      @roth4916 4 роки тому +16

      @@SirAndischa I guess it is filling...

    • @alephkasai9384
      @alephkasai9384 4 роки тому +3

      Some parrots eat clay

    • @Fruitcupper
      @Fruitcupper 4 роки тому +1

      As long as your army is a flock of birds looking for clay minerals lol!

  • @trygveplaustrum4634
    @trygveplaustrum4634 4 роки тому +527

    Plot twist: All of Calradia is riddled with the Plague. By giving them a healthy cow, you are giving them the better end of the deal!

    • @goodname6807
      @goodname6807 4 роки тому +20

      You have just been SCAMMED

    • @kucingcing
      @kucingcing 4 роки тому +11

      you can always eat your citizen

    • @tortex1
      @tortex1 4 роки тому +13

      @@thespiffingbrit You can probably trade a castle or two for that cow. Maybe throw in a city to make sure.

    • @LS-jv9hp
      @LS-jv9hp 4 роки тому +6

      @@tortex1 Also gotta add around a few hundred K denar as well. To really sweeten the deal

    • @lpc3109
      @lpc3109 4 роки тому +6

      Cowvid19....

  • @spoolofflarn8760
    @spoolofflarn8760 3 роки тому +42

    That lovely open mouth smile... that vacant look and blank expression... all the telltale signs of a landholding man.

    • @ianphil397
      @ianphil397 2 роки тому +2

      'ere mate. You've got the facial expression of a man who will just hand over your castles for nothing.

    • @MaddoBatto
      @MaddoBatto Рік тому

      I like to think that Spiff offers them a cup of tea, they drink it over a chat, the psychotropics he slipped into that cup of tea kick in, and suddenly the landholder is looking much more open for negotiations 🫖🎩

  • @Shines.22
    @Shines.22 4 роки тому +871

    TaleWorlds Entertainment QA Tester: 'Eugh, oh god i just had an terrible thought that I forgot something!'
    TaleWorlds Entertainment QA Tester's wife: 'Shhh, don't worry. Try to go back to sleep, I'm sure it's fine.'
    TaleWorlds Entertainment QA Tester: 'Yeah you're right, it's probably nothing.'
    Spiff: 'Hello there!'

    • @weir-t7y
      @weir-t7y 4 роки тому +9

      Most likely the devs just ignored them. Usually how it goes with testers

    • @cslantz4020
      @cslantz4020 4 роки тому +15

      They probably couldnt afford the testers. It doesn't take a complex mind to see that, being how the game was in a completely broken state on release and every day for 10 days after release they pumped out bug fixes, since they gota bunch of play testers for free that payed them money to test the game for them, AKA people who bought overpriced alpha version of bannerlord...

    • @koenvandamme6901
      @koenvandamme6901 4 роки тому +23

      I like how this implies that Spiff is in bed with them.

    • @nilloc93
      @nilloc93 4 роки тому +7

      @@cslantz4020 there was a rather extensive closed beta but it was mostly for the MP portion of the game, the SP only began testing a few months before the EA release.

    • @ae4164
      @ae4164 4 роки тому +4

      I just hope Spif does a video about the non-economic bugs in this game so the devs start fixing those instead of spending a week tweaking the economy.
      Also, lol at the idea that this game was playtested. It's full of copy/pasted stats and code from Warband, if a corner could be cut it was.

  • @ESOdanny
    @ESOdanny 4 роки тому +750

    Sadly this has just been patched, Settlments did count as a negative XD

    • @user-xv9zh6ik9i
      @user-xv9zh6ik9i 4 роки тому +23

      It is the man himself!!!

    • @AdamPersson
      @AdamPersson 4 роки тому +40

      That's why he has released it NOW and not before..

    • @SephirothRyu
      @SephirothRyu 4 роки тому +15

      Yep they definitely watch him.

    • @SheyD78
      @SheyD78 4 роки тому +2

      Oh well, that saves me from trying to manage that many settlements at once plus the armies required to protect them.

    • @ESOdanny
      @ESOdanny 4 роки тому +19

      @@AdamPersson I don't think the Sir Spiff Allot BLESSID BE HIS NAME actually cares about people useing the exsploits in his videos, given his track record XD. Either way their are lots of ways you can still take advantage of M&B 'Early Access'.

  • @achtungbaby91u26
    @achtungbaby91u26 4 роки тому +82

    ---
    9:57
    His facial expression: "I can't believe you just accepted this land from me, how stupid are you!? Hahah enjoy your new land while my men rub me in oil!"

    • @werewolf4358
      @werewolf4358 4 роки тому +5

      My god there's a pandemic on caused by a respiratory illness. You can't make people laugh this hard!

    • @kabob0077
      @kabob0077 4 роки тому +1

      And thus the Pillarstodes were born.

    • @Khornecussion
      @Khornecussion 4 роки тому +1

      @@kabob0077 *MY QUIVERING ABS.*

    • @kabob0077
      @kabob0077 4 роки тому

      @@Khornecussion Now all we need is Santodes to show up.

  • @lucasm.3864
    @lucasm.3864 4 роки тому +156

    “We have to siege the castle!”
    “I *own* it, you can just walk through the front door!”

    • @nicholasorchard2091
      @nicholasorchard2091 4 роки тому +24

      "But that is not as much fun."
      "Alright that's it give me your city and your castle and 209k gold."
      "You are so generous my lord."

  • @PaxIesus
    @PaxIesus 4 роки тому +446

    "People are paying me to rob them"
    Spiff has become the IRS.

    • @Wranderous0001
      @Wranderous0001 4 роки тому

      Spot on

    • @andrewgodly5739
      @andrewgodly5739 4 роки тому +4

      That's capitalism for ya. You pay for food then they use that money to buy up all the land and dominate the market. Leaving you with no way to make/grow your own food unless you work for them. You have to pay to be a slave, if you dont then you starve

    • @rickymcgowen6776
      @rickymcgowen6776 4 роки тому +5

      US people: we beat the British! No more taxes!
      IRS Now: Well yes but actually no.

    • @Leignheart
      @Leignheart 4 роки тому +1

      @@andrewgodly5739 That's retarded, under capitalism I own my own land and alot of it and can farm whatever I darn well please. Never been a slave a day in my life, nor have I starved. I think your idea of capitalism may be just a tad bit off.

    • @MikeBrin96
      @MikeBrin96 4 роки тому

      @@Leignheart the land belongs to the state, you pay for the privilege of working it.

  • @dylanosborn2459
    @dylanosborn2459 4 роки тому +396

    Missed opportunity
    "My Kingdom for a horse"
    Just sayin.

    • @mattylovesallll
      @mattylovesallll 4 роки тому +4

      My kingdom for a mule

    • @tabularasa6666
      @tabularasa6666 4 роки тому +1

      Oh my god yess. That is such a good comment! Made me happy cause it was so on point, man, thanks!:)

  • @michealoverby8174
    @michealoverby8174 4 роки тому +91

    The best part is you have to imagine that lords are going "Thank you for taking all my land and leaving me destitute. I will enjoy that oil and cow"

    • @bakersmileyface
      @bakersmileyface 4 роки тому +5

      "Oh yeah, you can have my castles and money. No problem."
      "Cow and Oil? I suppose I'll need them now that I'm broke and homeless, many thanks!"

  • @psinjo
    @psinjo 4 роки тому +337

    devs
    "time for the weekly bug report"
    boss
    "oh, did spiff put out another video? get your clipboards everyone!"

    • @tehRedRunner
      @tehRedRunner 4 роки тому +40

      One of the best QA testers they didn't have to pay for

    • @haulperrel2547
      @haulperrel2547 4 роки тому +12

      This was fixed a while ago.

    • @zackfishle1009
      @zackfishle1009 4 роки тому +10

      @@tehRedRunner They owe Spiff some Tea and Biscuits at least. Minimum. Mount and Blade got tons of free advertising as well.

    • @Starguardianbard
      @Starguardianbard 4 роки тому +11

      @@zackfishle1009 worth noting that all of the bugs Spiff posts about in this game are patched several days before he releases a video on it lol

    • @Starguardianbard
      @Starguardianbard 4 роки тому +1

      @Alvi Syahri you can as long as you do as Spiff does and play on outdated versions of the game

  • @merren2306
    @merren2306 2 роки тому +66

    I think what's going on is that 1) the land is very expensive and 2) the price gets multiplied by some amount when the ai sells land as opposed to buying it (to simulate the AI wanting a good deal), which then results in an integer overflow, so when you sell land to the AI it's just very expensive, but when you buy land it overflows and becomes a bad.

    • @D4l4m4r
      @D4l4m4r 2 роки тому +2

      They have fixed it anyway - buying fiefs now requieres 300 points in trading and thats fairly time consuuming to reach.

    • @horatioyen256
      @horatioyen256 2 роки тому +1

      could be

  • @PikachuLittle
    @PikachuLittle 4 роки тому +312

    “I Didn’t Want To Be Poor, So I Maxed Out My Trading”

    • @Fish-ub3wn
      @Fish-ub3wn 4 роки тому +25

      This is one weaboo intelligent joke, splendid!

    • @dominges
      @dominges 4 роки тому +18

      @@Fish-ub3wn Realife translation would be ''I didn't Want To Be Poor, So Now I live In A Country Whit No Extradition Laws''

    • @jaelee1996
      @jaelee1996 4 роки тому +3

      Weeb jokes. I like.

    • @DiscoPickle102
      @DiscoPickle102 4 роки тому +2

      I like you.

    • @Kirito_2016
      @Kirito_2016 4 роки тому +1

      Nice

  • @timothymonk1356
    @timothymonk1356 4 роки тому +146

    "Now I know you don't like me, but how about you give me full control of all of your land."
    "Seriously?"
    "...Yes..."
    "Oh thank goodness, here's the deeds, and... have half my money as well."

    • @xtreampb6309
      @xtreampb6309 4 роки тому +6

      sounds like a divorce...

    • @rentabledwarf578
      @rentabledwarf578 4 роки тому

      @@xtreampb6309 Holy fuck, this game is just a divorce simulator.

    • @slein1055
      @slein1055 4 роки тому

      @@rentabledwarf578 ye, obviously. The empire is just going through a slight marital dispute

  • @veljkoangelovski5349
    @veljkoangelovski5349 3 роки тому +21

    "Alright how about you give me all your income and all your money aswell as all the land that you posses, laving you banckrupt. BUT, you get baggy trunks"
    "Damn he is good at this."

  • @Blording
    @Blording 4 роки тому +135

    Best part, the nobles faces when being duped... All either a derp, or just a massive WTF look.

    • @lokiraven-claw3233
      @lokiraven-claw3233 4 роки тому +8

      Its as if even they can't believe how broken they are

    • @joeMFG
      @joeMFG 4 роки тому +2

      Facial expressions in this game are truly glorious! lol

    • @Havoc10K
      @Havoc10K 4 роки тому +2

      yep

    • @SimonAshworthWood
      @SimonAshworthWood 4 роки тому +1

      Yep. That's like the people of the USA as they discover the multi-trillion dollar wealth transfer to the rich, that the Repugnicans and Demoncraps have recently done.

    • @lokiraven-claw3233
      @lokiraven-claw3233 4 роки тому

      @@SimonAshworthWood well okay then...

  • @lokithecat7225
    @lokithecat7225 4 роки тому +191

    8 Years of development, playtesting, multiple patches after Early Access release, and we have achieved "Ive never seen anything like this in a game before".

    • @achtungbaby91u26
      @achtungbaby91u26 4 роки тому +17

      It's almost like they were dragging this out because their country's government was funding their company. And now they just made an insane amount from putting this unfinished turd on steam. We are comparable to the lords in this game giving away our land for a cow

    • @shadoweterna9258
      @shadoweterna9258 3 роки тому +3

      I mean, as long as there’s no multiplayer, do the exploits honestly matter?

    • @Chadok89
      @Chadok89 3 роки тому +8

      1. It's still in development
      2. It's already plenty of fun
      3. There is plenty of people online enjoying this game even if it's still in dev more than some AAA games you'd pay 60€ to get.

    • @penisinlargementpills2511
      @penisinlargementpills2511 3 роки тому

      @@achtungbaby91u26 i just now realized why calradia looks like turkey.

    • @horatioyen256
      @horatioyen256 2 роки тому

      lol

  • @patana256
    @patana256 4 роки тому +92

    Devs: "Look how they massacred my boy!"

  • @DoohickeyMan
    @DoohickeyMan 4 роки тому +250

    Spiff, you missed a golden opportunity! D:
    You should have given the empress a horse, just so you could say "your kingdom for a horse"

    • @water-poweredmachine8291
      @water-poweredmachine8291 4 роки тому +1

      This would've been legendary.

    • @marksmidt8225
      @marksmidt8225 4 роки тому +6

      @Connection Lost really? Because I haven't heard of that phrase anywhere else apart from in reference to Shakespeare. What movies and televisions shows do you know of that have used the phrase, and even so in the shows and movies that might use it it's certainly in reference one way or another to shakespeare.

    • @DoohickeyMan
      @DoohickeyMan 4 роки тому +6

      Gonna admit, I heard it from Mel Brooks' "Robin Hood: Men in Tights" as a kid long before I heard it in Shakespeare!

    • @SimonAshworthWood
      @SimonAshworthWood 4 роки тому +2

      @Connection Lost
      "Woefully boring play"? The Ian McKellan version of Richard III is one of my favourite movies. 🤗

  • @MrAnt-hh3bp
    @MrAnt-hh3bp 4 роки тому +559

    Spiff: "This has been the worst trade deal in the history of trade deals, maybe ever!"
    Tsar Alexander II: **looking at Alaska and sweating profusely**

    • @martinguzzoni6656
      @martinguzzoni6656 4 роки тому +22

      or Napoleon to Lousiana

    • @pretzelbomb6105
      @pretzelbomb6105 4 роки тому +26

      Martin Guzzoni Well, Louisiana was completely useless to him after the loss of Haiti, so he was cutting his losses

    • @brightsword9306
      @brightsword9306 4 роки тому +15

      even if Russia didn't sell Alaska there was no way they could defend against a British invasion (which was very likely) based out of canada

    • @animagination9933
      @animagination9933 4 роки тому +9

      "I have altered the deal, pray I do not alter it any further"

    • @artje90
      @artje90 4 роки тому +2

      New york for Surinam.....

  • @Necrobin
    @Necrobin 3 роки тому +61

    I get those guys, I wouldn't want to have the responsibility of an entire town or castle either.

    • @vitkien
      @vitkien 3 роки тому +7

      "Please, I don't want to do it anymore, no matter what I do the peasants still hate me and revolt every year"

  • @rhawkas2637
    @rhawkas2637 4 роки тому +51

    I love the derpy looks on their faces, like they're dumbfounded they just gave away all their land and a large chunk of their money. XD

  • @tennysonchiles192
    @tennysonchiles192 4 роки тому +94

    Spiff when a game has money
    "You know the rules. And so do I..."

  • @Captain828
    @Captain828 4 роки тому +12

    Really puts Shakespeare's "A horse, a horse, my kingdom for a horse" into context here.

  • @renanaraujo5435
    @renanaraujo5435 4 роки тому +24

    Spiff: Conquered all continent, have all the money, have an invincible army.
    Also Spiff: Now I finished the tutorial.

  • @Peacich
    @Peacich 4 роки тому +34

    With the frequency of patches this games get and spiffs uncanny ability to find every bug, glitch and exploit, mount and blade will be the most stable and balanced game ever.

    • @simonsalgueiro6217
      @simonsalgueiro6217 4 роки тому +5

      Tbh, we get a lot of patches cause we were sold a game in alpha state, sold as early access to use the coronavirus as a sail boost. We basically paid taleworlds for being beta testers.
      That's why we get so many patches. If you read them, most things are just finishing the game little by little and correcting bugs people find.

    • @any1alive
      @any1alive 4 роки тому +1

      mhmm, they already have a list of known bugs over 300+ as of 1.10(you can go and see them as they are public). he is still on 1.0 all o the bugs hes shown has been fixed on the second day. but yeah x3

    • @sultana1maadeed450
      @sultana1maadeed450 4 роки тому +2

      @@simonsalgueiro6217 Yes it literally tells you the game is in Early Access before buying it. Also, unless Taleworlds were able to see in the future and predict the Coronavirus Pandemic, the release date was set way before that chinese man munched on the bat.

    • @simonsalgueiro6217
      @simonsalgueiro6217 4 роки тому

      @@sultana1maadeed450 release date was not when we got it. They ditched several weeks to sell it during the confinement. Check the original release date. The one we got was announced DURING the confinement.
      And I explicitly said they sold us an alpha as early access. Not that they didn't said it was early access. Do you even read before answering? It's not early access. Ea was created to check for last small fixes. Greedy dev, like taleworlds prooved to be, now use ea to make us pay for being beta testers. But we all know you are going to continue being a bootlicker to taleworlds, don't we?

  • @darylgoddard5186
    @darylgoddard5186 4 роки тому +10

    "Oh Dear Sir I see that you have a lot of priceless lands, dont worry I can take them off your hands for you, for you see I'm just a humble Tea Merchant" says Spiff before stealing all the lands.

  • @0neChubbyBunny
    @0neChubbyBunny 4 роки тому +64

    Spiff: "Bannerlord is a perfectly balanced game"
    Me: playing as a baby after hitting "R" on the character creation screen.

    • @jfarrar19
      @jfarrar19 4 роки тому +3

      Hmm. I have an idea for a Mitten Squad "Can you beat" video

  • @williambobson3369
    @williambobson3369 4 роки тому +135

    “Joron, sweetie! It’s land donation time!”
    “Yes honey...”

  • @sagqe
    @sagqe 4 роки тому +18

    I just noticed that when you give someone an empty offer as a "gift" it counts as a successfull gift and gives you charm xp.

  • @Warden1992
    @Warden1992 4 роки тому +70

    5:05 When you realize what Talas can do with wolf's head, lubricating oil and a cow!!! :)))

    • @Hitman2b
      @Hitman2b 4 роки тому +4

      explain

    • @Warden1992
      @Warden1992 4 роки тому +7

      @@Hitman2b Wolf head for hat, oil and the cow he cam make barbecue for the res of his men... ;)

    • @VictorBillordo
      @VictorBillordo 4 роки тому +4

      @@Warden1992 yeah, lubricating oil for cooking ;)

    • @Nick-rr4xy
      @Nick-rr4xy 4 роки тому +8

      @@thespiffingbrit sounds like a crafting recipe for a newborn Minotaur.

    • @Hitman2b
      @Hitman2b 4 роки тому

      @@Warden1992 OH ok

  • @ThorbjrnRagnar
    @ThorbjrnRagnar 4 роки тому +290

    *uploaded 3 minutes ago*
    OH MY GODNESS SPIFF, MY WATER IS STILL BOILING FOR CHRIST SAKE !

    • @Torlik11
      @Torlik11 4 роки тому +11

      It's your own damn fault for not always have tea ready. You should always carry an emergency cup of tea on you. ;)

    • @reload2893
      @reload2893 4 роки тому +3

      @@Torlik11 but then it would get cold :(

    • @colin3387
      @colin3387 4 роки тому +2

      @@reload2893 keep it warm in a convenient thermos! Never go without tea again!

    • @reload2893
      @reload2893 4 роки тому

      @@colin3387 that will only slow the cold for a short time...

    • @ThorbjrnRagnar
      @ThorbjrnRagnar 4 роки тому +1

      @@Torlik11 as a non british guy, ist not that obvious

  • @kagantekin201
    @kagantekin201 2 роки тому +19

    In every single stretegy game, trade mechanic is always broken in some way...

  • @djenovah8915
    @djenovah8915 4 роки тому +38

    14:55 My kingdom for an Armored Baggy Trunks!

  • @mohammadhazraty2372
    @mohammadhazraty2372 4 роки тому +124

    "how much for your city?"
    "i need about three fiddy"

  • @TheSeniorSparklez
    @TheSeniorSparklez 4 роки тому +11

    "oil so you can slide away from me"
    This man has me in tears

  • @kyleshuler2929
    @kyleshuler2929 4 роки тому +44

    Spiff: Just look at this arrow fire!
    Me: stares confused at pitch black screen

  • @ertrick3693
    @ertrick3693 4 роки тому +31

    27:28
    Ah yes, I remember Nazeem's Folly, where he told one too many a noble about how they don't get to the Cloud District very often.

    • @fariyanahmed5182
      @fariyanahmed5182 4 роки тому +4

      *proceeds to press the shout key*

    • @deadraven355
      @deadraven355 4 роки тому +4

      I found a video where someone speedruns to kill nazeem

  • @dannybriese0508
    @dannybriese0508 4 роки тому +3

    Reason why I would love to see more bannerlord content is that it’s obvious that tale worlds is watching your vods. Most exploits from the previous vods were fixed shortly after you released them

  • @isaacvincent8443
    @isaacvincent8443 4 роки тому +257

    Spiff: "People are paying me to steal from them."
    IRS: Hold my tea.

    • @JohnnyFaber
      @JohnnyFaber 4 роки тому +3

      You win the internet today my friend

    • @notar2123
      @notar2123 4 роки тому +2

      so original comment, much funny

    • @onegonearm
      @onegonearm 4 роки тому +1

      Then they'd tax you for the tea gift they just gave you.

    • @YouTubecanfuckagoat
      @YouTubecanfuckagoat 4 роки тому

      Isaac Vincent
      I think Rogers follow this business model

  • @aveoxus1139
    @aveoxus1139 4 роки тому +50

    For some reason when the vassals appear in person they're all lacking mouth animation. Slack jawed and in awe of the legendary Spif

  • @Kalishir
    @Kalishir 4 роки тому +4

    The Spitting Brit, young padawan, you have still much to learn ! For with this batter trick, all you have to do is, in this order (important!), ask for the settlement, offer 1 coin and then he will gadly also offer ALL his money ! That's right, for a single coin of your he offers you all his settlements and all his money !

  • @katyushamarikov8819
    @katyushamarikov8819 4 роки тому +111

    Missed the opportunity for "My kingdom for a horse" jokes.

    • @FeyTheBin
      @FeyTheBin 4 роки тому +1

      You're goddamn right.

  • @famus_tem8351
    @famus_tem8351 4 роки тому +133

    a wolf's head, oil, and a cow. ive seen enough internet to know where this is going.

  • @sauviisinew2464
    @sauviisinew2464 2 роки тому +4

    “take this oil so you can slide away from me.” my favorite part of the the whole video 😂

  • @dotubebros861
    @dotubebros861 4 роки тому +89

    Spiff: “there is no land to be taken.”
    Argoron: “Am I a joke to you?”

  • @No-uc6fg
    @No-uc6fg 4 роки тому +130

    12:04 "People are paying me to rob them." So, everyday Britain?

    • @CanalTremocos
      @CanalTremocos 4 роки тому +4

      If people don't pay you it's only attempted robbery.

    • @Khornecussion
      @Khornecussion 4 роки тому

      @@CanalTremocos You clearly aren't woke enough if you do live in Britain. If you're an American, not sure you understand.

  • @ashkebora7262
    @ashkebora7262 4 роки тому +1

    The bug is great and all, but... that mouth agape stare from most of them is ... just ... priceless.

  • @gerwaldlindhelm1230
    @gerwaldlindhelm1230 4 роки тому +23

    Spiff: "Would you like to see the legendary return of Skyrim?"
    Do you even have to ask? Bring it on!

  • @yuuneeq9494
    @yuuneeq9494 4 роки тому +70

    "It's 4:00pm Jorah, time for your estate flattening!"
    "Yes dear..."

  • @diamongameri5004
    @diamongameri5004 4 роки тому +5

    The sentence "I'm pretty sure noone ever tested this feature" resonated in my brain all along the video. This is hilarious xD.

  • @GamerState101
    @GamerState101 4 роки тому +60

    I appreciate that Spiff is exposing all Te exploits so the developers could fix the issues now while it’s in early access

    • @Doktor_Jones
      @Doktor_Jones 4 роки тому +18

      It would be nice, if they didn't fixed all the exploits before this video was released. Srsly, Spiffy if kinda a slowpoke.

    • @Jonjon13Jonjon13
      @Jonjon13Jonjon13 4 роки тому +9

      @@Doktor_Jones ever considered that he probably reports the bugs himself, and waits for them to be fixed BEFORE relasing the video so there isn't a wave of exploiters breaking the game? In crappy old games probably he doesn't bother reporting, but in a game like this in early access I'm sure he reports what he finds.

    • @HomeoftheWilt17
      @HomeoftheWilt17 4 роки тому +14

      Or... y'know... it could've been the other hundreds of users that found this exploit. But no, I'm sure Spiff is the reason the exploits are being fixed.
      /s
      Also, why would he worry about others exploiting a *single player game*? That's just silly.

    • @yuibkys3522
      @yuibkys3522 4 роки тому +7

      Jon_jon13 no he doesnt do that because its an offline game and it doesnt matter how many people use it

    • @elsasslotharingen7507
      @elsasslotharingen7507 4 роки тому

      Do any of you have any idea of the kind of time and work that it takes to edit down hours of raw gameplay footage into a high-quality 30-minute video?

  • @seanhorne9171
    @seanhorne9171 4 роки тому +46

    Spiff doesn’t want to defeat the empire. He *is* the empire!!

  • @manicmagician
    @manicmagician 4 роки тому +12

    Oh lord that was such a stupid exploit i love it. They just...didbt test that system at all.
    And I just started playing Knights of the Old Republic again recently so i would love to see you break it.

  • @Gandorhar
    @Gandorhar 4 роки тому +43

    Spiff plays Bannerlord, "Oh look its literally free real estate."
    Time to raise a cup of tea to your remarkeble conquering skills my lord!

  • @desogames1983
    @desogames1983 4 роки тому +41

    15:00 "A Cow! a Cow! my kingdom for a Cow!"
    Spiff: Here have two.

  • @number3729
    @number3729 4 роки тому +1

    You had me crying with laughter with all the dialogue. Thank you for this. Subscribed!

  • @jeremybatterbee3613
    @jeremybatterbee3613 4 роки тому +16

    "OH! And the oil. So you can slide yourself away from me" - Spiff 2020

  • @alecc2335
    @alecc2335 4 роки тому +104

    "We've practially purchased almost the entire world"
    Yeah, yeah "purchased" suree.

    • @alephnole7009
      @alephnole7009 4 роки тому +2

      The best part is that the Lord's will no longer be receiving taxes, so they won't be able to pay they're army's and will all become defenceless after a while.

    • @bakersmileyface
      @bakersmileyface 4 роки тому +3

      ​@@alephnole7009 Yeah, supposing he takes all of the land he would be invincible. None of the lords would so much as be able to raid a village given that there's militia inside them. Especially if you take into consideration that there's going to be stacks of 50 forest bandits wandering around to destroy them if they stay too long in one location to raid a village or lay siege.
      He's basically beat the game.

    • @AlexK-sk4qb
      @AlexK-sk4qb 4 роки тому

      And from then on, the entire world worked in wood shops.

    • @bakersmileyface
      @bakersmileyface 4 роки тому +1

      @@AlexK-sk4qb And Tea.

  • @jacoren5785
    @jacoren5785 4 роки тому +2

    I love seeing these videos because I loved playing warband years ago, and I hope that the developers see this videos and continue to address them as they go through early access. Also it's hilarious to see what bending you can do while they work on it.

  • @stormboss57
    @stormboss57 4 роки тому +52

    Spiff: Let us take over the world!
    Lieutenant: Ooo my lord how do plan to do that?
    Spiff: Ask nicely.

    • @TheArklyte
      @TheArklyte 4 роки тому +1

      Why do I think of Vetinari after those words?

    • @rjhogan07
      @rjhogan07 4 роки тому

      TheArklyte Because he would figure out a way to lightly nudge events so that, if it was in his best interest to do so, he would be able to do exactly that? That is his preferred method of dealing with problems.

    • @wickederebus
      @wickederebus 4 роки тому

      That Charisma stat thought.

  • @davisgc02
    @davisgc02 4 роки тому +49

    "The Art of the Deal" by Spiffing Brit

  • @Sss-vs7pu
    @Sss-vs7pu 4 роки тому +7

    “And then, of course, the oil... so that you may lubricate yourself, and then slide away from me” rofl bro

  • @twyx6928
    @twyx6928 4 роки тому +7

    6:04 Can we just appreciate this majestic lad with the "I have absolutely no idead what's going on" expression?

  • @BlindSniperStudio
    @BlindSniperStudio 4 роки тому +21

    "Okay, so I want all of this, a cow, annnnd how much money can I get away with?" Honestly the random inclusion of a cow got me.

  • @Teufelsnachbar667
    @Teufelsnachbar667 4 роки тому +6

    Oooh boy King Derthert gonna be pissed when he finds out that he sold his hole kingdom for 3 goats and a broken bodkin arrow to me.

  • @skryerx4494
    @skryerx4494 4 роки тому +57

    The NPC's just don't want the responsibility of running those settlements.
    They KNOW they got the better end of the deal.

  • @xcmodev1558
    @xcmodev1558 4 роки тому +14

    Their slack-open, drooling mouths just adds that perfect zest to their idiotic agreement to your “trade”
    10/10 Spiff

  • @james14294
    @james14294 4 роки тому +4

    I am reminded of a quote from Shakespeare “A horse! A horse! My kingdom for a horse!”
    Never seen such a literal use of that quote :P

  • @alexs2195
    @alexs2195 4 роки тому +60

    I'm very disappointed, she should have traded her kingdom for a horse

  • @FlameDarkfire
    @FlameDarkfire 4 роки тому +49

    “Ahh this game, what have I done to you?”
    Bent it over the desk and violated the UA-cam TOS is what you’ve done.

  • @Alphapara
    @Alphapara 4 роки тому +4

    Hey Spiff! Your guess on the integer overflow I bet is very accurate, but the "pay to take it, then pay to get it back" does seem confusing then.
    What I think is happening is that the player suffers a penalty in barters, evidenced by one of the earlier charm skills that removes a portion of that penalty. I'm thinking something about that penalty multiplier is what's driving the overflow, which is why they're willing to give it away, but also why they're paying you to get it back, since giving the settlement to them = the settlement having less value.
    Realistically I think they meant for the AI to almost never give a settlement, thus a very high multiplier, which is probably why we have the overflow.

  • @wolfrandom9769
    @wolfrandom9769 4 роки тому +87

    Oh, I'm pretty sure this land exploit was already patched ): Although land is so cheap you can just buy it all anyway so... not exactly very patched.

    • @dionblauw
      @dionblauw 4 роки тому +1

      wasn't it like 300k - 500k per settlement in this patch?

    • @wolfrandom9769
      @wolfrandom9769 4 роки тому +3

      @@dionblauw I only paid 100k

    • @FrancoisMarchant
      @FrancoisMarchant 4 роки тому +2

      Why a lord owning 10 million denars would sell his only settlement for 350k is beyond me. They need to make the price vary with the amount of cash the lord has, so only lords that are desperate for money will ever consider selling them.

    • @MindBlowerWTF
      @MindBlowerWTF 4 роки тому

      @@FrancoisMarchant why would they have 10millions in the first place?

    • @echomjp
      @echomjp 4 роки тому +1

      @@FrancoisMarchant I would argue that they simply need to rework the economy of the game, and especially how lords make and spend money, so that they have money that matches their ownership of land and such more intelligently. Though in any case it needs to be less broken than it currently is.

  • @WolfHagenSdW
    @WolfHagenSdW 4 роки тому +35

    Developers: How many ways of cheesing and exploiting did you find?
    Spiff: Yes! *sips tea*

  • @HeyFox101
    @HeyFox101 4 роки тому +3

    NPC:
    -Wait, so I'm giving away all of my lands, and what am I exactly getting?
    Spiff:
    - I give you air from my lungs!

  • @Sir_Hammelot
    @Sir_Hammelot 4 роки тому +29

    Yesterday i were playing and went to trade with the leader of a faction and saw that i could trade cityes with him. So for fun i went and said "give me all your citys" and when i offerd one gold he said looks good to me.
    And thats how i became lord of the empire for only one gold.
    Best trade deal ever