Drop the guilt guys, this is all about self preservation for your children and your loved ones. If you survive this everyone who loves you will be relieved, pleased and proud of you...Thank you for this insight...
After being submissive for nearly 3 decades, it was tough to be ‘offensive’ with my Narc and his lawyer. But their terms and claims were so preposterous, I had to be proactive. Thankfully, I found out about Narcissism around the same time and realised what was happening. Thank you for reaching out and giving us such excellent advice and tools to deal with these demonic beings🙏🏼.
I got eaten alive as you say, because I didn't know at the time that he was a covert narcissist. It became clear to me about 4 months after the divorce when I already moved out. Terrible thing to realise after 22 years.
Crazy how you are describing everything I am going through. My lawyer spoke with you and you gave great advice. Thank you for these great videos. You really are a huge help and blessing.
A suggestion which may seem too much time consuming yet when dealing with the Narc once you have the strength and self esteem to divorce the partner, it's worth implementing Due to their extreme manipulate nature preventing them from IT manipulation and falsify your arrangement s and communication.By refusing to speak to them telephonically or phoning or cell ph texting one can inform the Narc that unless they send an email no other form of communication will be responded to. Know this is tedious yet one step further is : " my response to you is in writing in an email with a written attachment which will be formatted PDF With PDF the Narc cannot falsify the content. Thanks for yr empowering program.. Love and Light for Healthy self esteem support.
He says, “your attorney is only in it for the money”. Ummm yeah.......I am paying her for a service. He tells our adult son, “your mom’s attorney is milking me dry.” Like the divorce is all my attorney’s fault. Because “I never did anything with my life” (stay at home mom), I am unable to comprehend how things get done in the “real” world. I lived in that psycho BS for several decades, and sadly, believed it for quite awhile.
That comment was always my favorite: As I am an attorney I was always saying “litigation is adversarial?” I should drop mine? When you lied at every mediation, negotiation and little coward pow wow show you put on with my little girls watching.
@@speedskater5613 I understand...I was there. I suffered through it all the while preparing to return to the workforce.,..it happened but it was pure hell until I had the money and benefits and a wonderful sister who took me in until my apt is available .I have lost so much but it's only stuff. He really did get the short stick...he's gonna cut his nose off to spite his face. I don't care he can and will do whatever he wants. I have no power over that ..he now has ño power over me. The sacrifices are worth it. Stay strong and focused. Don't stop until you are free.
Hi Rebecca. I feel like you are speaking directly to me in all of your videos. You have made me realize I'm not alone or going crazy. Thank you for this.
What about the dirty trick of the Narcissistic Spouse quitting their job on purpose before the divorce at the first hearing so they don't have to pay more alimony or any alimony?
Thank you for doing this Rebecca. 25 years married malignant narc. 3 and 1/2 year divorce, manipulating the experts, judge, so many lies. I believe looking at my emails, etc. Thankfully no kids. Ive lost everything and facing bankruptcy. She has it all. In the beginning I did not know about narcs. But was aware my head was always in a spin for mo reason. Been though several layers, when I talc off narcs they think I'm the mad one. So thank you for your vids.
Me too. Reactivity is naughty but I’m not scared anymore. And I can present my case for years and years. Losing my kids and becoming a loving mom and once successful attorney writer, loving friend and warm daughter - finding myself as the food stamps whor- he said I would be? With my family gone NO
Thank You Rebecca! I listen to you and I get empowered. This is a difficult situation and sometimes I doubt myself and think I am not going to get out of this divorce with my good reputation and people understanding where I am coming from. Then I listen to you again and I know it’s possible to come out on top.
I wish it is that easy to get an attorney. Not everybody can, is able to, or some like myself get knocked out of the running to get an attorney before they even get started. BEWARE of narcs that will, 'make paper' on you just to fill up the case folder. If a would-be attorney (retail or pro bono) sees that a potential case is too litigious; you may be faced with a case nobody wants; and that's a very real and sad reality.
I’m going through divorce right now. He never involved with our child and when i asked for divorce our child becomes his priority! But still just to scare me. He didn’t till now paid child support, or connection from his side. All what you talked about in all your videos showed me the real him.
I have been married 5 years together 7 It’s terrible and I can not find anyone here that understands this narc behavior I need a lawyer I can not find anyone that doesn’t say just walk away you’ll get nothing and I have nothing no job now no money no house I have explained it but it always seems he is so great public business owner no one cares he cheats or disrespects me
In my experience, collecting and documenting evidence of all the stuff that happened, all the broken agreements, and everything else that happened, was absolutely useless. Every single time, the healthcare workers or judge or other legal workers just said it was evidence of the divorce battle between both parents. That's it. My narcissistic ex would hear or read what I had collected and promptly claimed I did the exact same things to her, further reinforcing the belief that it is just two parents in a divorce battle.
@@erinoutram1639 Ongoing. The system prevents healthcare workers from pointing to one parent as the cause of the issues, so formally they won't. This makes it complicated and a long term process. Right now, my oldest son lives with me 100% of the time and he refuses any and all contact with his mother. As far as he's concerned, he doesn't have a mother. It's probably only a matter of time before my other kids follow. Take away message for anyone in a situation like this is to be prepared for a long, very long process. But in the end, it's worth it for you and your kids.
Hi Rebecca, I am going through a divorce from a Malignant Narcissist or sociopath, which ever is worse. She has spent the last 15 or more years building a wall between my daughters and I, while she has had a secret life of adultery and drinking. I never knew anything about a sociopath until having a conversation with her mom about her & we looked up her behavior online and discovered she fit the description perfectly except for maybe wanting to rule the world, but I never learned how to deal with this type of person. I finally caught her cheating, but didn't take photos because I just watched with my jaw hanging open, and later confronted her about it. She got to my daughters before I did & said I was lying-making it all up. Therefore, they won't talk to me at all. It tears me up & it seems there is nothing that can be done. They are 27 & 30, so no custody issue here, but complete injustice and alienation. What can be done? Can I get the court to intervene?
Wow. I wish I could have found an attorney like you 22 years ago. I had to go back to school to become "employable " according to my narc & his attorney & I still have student loans at age 69. If I have a lifetime restraining order, can I use it if he is doing a smear campaign against me with the grandchildren?
Narcissists find it intelligent to ask - what´s your problem?" in situations of conflict as if is going crazy and they try to act empathic but in fact they mean - why are so rude and emotional.
IT GETS NO SNEAKIER THAN THIS....MY wife , put our child in therapy unbeknownst to me. Were separated in anticipation of divorce and unfortunately our child has been with her since the separation began. She has been alienated as result of this tactic but I hope the courts sees thru it. Anyway.....my wife put our child into therapy to learn " Assertiveness". She tells the therapist my daughter is being bullied in school. Offers no proof , of course, but who would lie about something like this , right? A Narcissist, thats who...meanwhile my daughter is learning to be assertive. Good thing right? NOT!!...Now my daughter begins to tell me she doesn't want to come over to stay at my house and phone calls become scarce. The assertiveness therapy is working but the Therapist isn't aware she's using the assertiveness training against me. Prior to all this beginning , my wife's answer to my divorce pleading stated that the " child should be allowed to make the decision to interact with her father and should not be forced to go if she doesn't want to." My wife also put in writing that she often tells my daughter how she will miss her if she goes to my house.....And this is how the cult like indoctrination of alienating a child happens. Talk about sneaky!!
My wife refused to work a lot of the time then bitched and complained when I'd come home that we were living with my parents. I would tell her if she wants to get out of the house, help me. It was "I can't do that, who would keep this house clean?" She would barely do a load of laundry, let alone sweep the floor! I had to come home and straighten up our area.
Do you know a lawer like you from PA? Learning a lot from you , just starting battle with narc sociopath with heavy addiction to meth being manufactured in a rental property garage , plus highly functional alcoholism. Looks like he just started smear campaign with the Landlord and removed me from apartment over 3 hours , changing door lack. Landlord refused to give me a new key because I wasn’t on the lease!!!!Also refused to allowed me to enter an apartment to get my personal belongings.That evening a was left with the car keys and wallet, both brought by cops who get permission to enter a property with property manager to retrieve from apartment . Lawyers don’t care who their clients are!!! Plus mostly don’t know a lot about narcs!!!and even are narcs by themselves might not realize it!!!
My ex was trying to spend the night with my parents and he loves the triangulation with my family. I had to show my parents proof he is lying and has been twisting stuff around for years in our relationship.
Oh, I've got one better for you. Don't know how he pulled this one off but somehow he managed to connect w/ my mother whom he HAS NOT SEEN IN MORE THAN 25 YRS and NEVER HAD HER CONTACT INFORMATION!!! My former Narc-- went so far as to take our son ACROSS THE U.S. without telling me w/o consulting w/ me as part of his bi-weekly visitation and brought him to the home of my toxic mother who chain smokes. Never mind the fact that my son is borderline asthmatic, has a MH profile who presents w/ anxiety disorder. Needless, to say my son was scared to death that he might not ever see me, again. In addition, b/c my mom and I were not on speaking terms my son's father's strategy was to appear to my mother as the proverbial "Greek Bearing Gifts". So, what does he do he goes to my mom's house and shows up with a bottle of wine, plying her with alcohol so that she have 'loose lips' and say some pretty awful things about me -- sadly which she did. All of it UNTRUE. However, he used that carefully 'mined' information against me in court to absolute aplomb victory on his part. I've never so crushed before in my life. My son is on the beginning stages of telling me he doesn't want to talk to me because other people have told him I'm not a good person. It hurts. You have no idea it hurts.
@@trojanette8345 I really understand how you feel, I really do! My ex did exactly the same. He approached EVERYBODY including my mother. Manipulating all of them with his contrived narrative and lies. Keep loving your son he’ll come around. X
Just had the custody conference today and the stuff they said about me was disgusting and just lies. Little does my “husband” know that his own father is going to testify against him in court.
Funny how my neighbors be talking about loyalty and respect when they are neither of those towards me . Their shirts with words they can't or won't live by .
Yes it is hun. Every state is “50/50”. They all begin by weeding out what property you owned before the marriage (which would be considered personal property) and what was acquired DURING the marriage. When they begin “splitting” the assets, it’s 100% possible for you to come out with more than the other party. Nothing is ever actually split in half. There will always be an imbalance at one side or another.
@Bet👋Every case is individual. Your specific case question is better answered if asked to the attorney who is familiar with it. Anyone else is going to give you a general idea; or worse the wrong answer if not even in your state.
@@HidNTrackz lol 😆 not knowing their situation; and because here are talking about Narcissistic individuals is that reason enough to accuse someone of being one? What if they have a legitimate reason for needing more or asking for a larger percentage? We don’t need to know to satisfy our own curiosity 🧐
Again, I am the victim and I'm also the one saying "let's do this without attorneys" - and I HAVE inventoried all our assets. I really don't want to buy the attorneys a new boat! What if we create and have notarized an asset agreement? (we have no children, only assets) Here in Texas, it's only 61 days from filing to divorce granted for non-contested divorce. That's ideal. I really really don't want to spend the money on an attorney! I NEED that money to start my life over! I work for my NH! He totally stole my career! But Texas has very narrow parameters for spousal support. It's almost impossible to get spousal support here.
I think total trust in any relationship is overpriced as i ended up hating myself for ever believing my ex-husband. When my ex-husband started getting home late, I would ask and he'd say something came up at work. When i couldn't take any more of his lies, I decided it was time i get to know what was really going on. On the recommendation of a friend, I contacted this great ethical hacker (cyberhackingsage@gmail) who cloned his cellphone without physically touching the device and as a result, I was able to access his social media accounts, GPS Location , iMessage , call logs and text messages (both recent and deleted) through a remote decryption link sent to me. I discovered he is a liar who is having a secret affair with his secretary and that he has been using money from our joint account to finance the affair .Thanks to cyberhackingsage , I was able to file for divorce with lots of evidence against him. If you're ever in doubt or you need that extra bit of closure, I recommend you send a mail to cyberhackingsage@gmail or text and WhatsApp them at +15713758467.I hope you find peace of mind just like me after I discovered the truth.
Listening to your sessions on complexity when it comes to Divorcing a Narsasis ...what is your approach in a suggestion that due to the emotional/ and or physical/ financial / sexual abuse that was endured that before a woman decide to leave / divorce it is possible that the abused victim have a strategy for their exit and that can assist to work in a Team between yrself and a psychologist who can assist your client. Thus could serve as a preventive measure.. Empowering sessions where the legal and trauma aspects can be dealt with to prepare all concern.
My question is how do you get a lawyer when HE controls all the money coming in? Or he sabatages every attempt you make to get a job in order to pay for one? Its soooo hard to get back into the job market when you've been out for 10 years and you're 50 years old with no real marketable skills. How are you suppose to come up with a $5,000 retainer or $500 program when you get yelled at for buying too many groceries?
Free legal clinics, social worker supports, govt abuse shelters, loan from a relative, sell stuff and save the $$ (Kijiji). While in marriage, get as many credit cards as you can, increase your ceiling limit, get a personal loan approved. Gather all financial docs, passports, etc. There's a lot to do!
@@dawnday5105 when they manage the finances, getting credit cards 💳 is known to them. Some of us lack the strategic thoughts for planning .. until one day. They fall for their own trap 🪤
I wish you were my lawyer! My ex- husband abused me until I was disabled and deleted all money from joint bank account and held my mail for 8 months so I would lose my disability. Used both kids against me. Threaten me to break into house and cut my brakes on my car if I didnt come over and sign his agreement. My divorce lawyer didnt do a financial affidavit on him and he committed perjury in court on 4 accounts. Thanks legalsheild!!! They ruined my life . My lawyer bullied me into signing final devorice decree at mediation. She was less than seller and she lied to me several times. I had to fire her and finish divorce for myself!!! I got 17,500 out of divorce!!! No alimony after 31 years of marriage! I'm disabled from his abuse and he left me disabled and homeless and bankrupt! I got ALL joint debt 8,000. Narrisst always play the victim!!! He is still talking shit about me to my adult kids!!!
I wish she had been my daughters lawyer too.My ex son in law lied to the judge, he hide recorders to listen to my daughters conversations..slandered her in public..hide his money from her..the list goes on. I never knew he was like this..until his mask came off. so sorry what you went through too.
Most judges demand tax docs but some narcs don't file, other docs would be unemployment security records, paystubs and bank statements, (including hidden accounts, you may know of). Sometimes these require subpoenas.
In this case, if he runs his personal life as a lying manipulative narcisist then you can be sure that the business is run that way to. Their must be evidence, find a way to get the business audited.
Kim, please can I get in touch with her? I'm in Africa, Ghana 🇬🇭 to be precise. I really need to how to gather information for the lawyer and also to talk in court
Well I could not afford lawyer here in Vero Beach Fl. They are $400.00 an hour so they directed me to a lawyer that did my papers for $900.00 than pay courthouse $408.00 and than $10.00 to serve him papers which that part is'nt being done yet because of carona virus...so waitin on that. ANY ADVICE REBECCA??
Love what both of you say! However, you do not cover the alienating narcs who have won custody or placement in court by lies. Plus, they have a narc parent who assists with the alienation and raising the children...doing a horrible job. Watching the demise of your own children is another trauma. Do either of you know any attorneys in Rhode Island or nearby? I have not seen my oldest in two years. I have not seen my youngest since April 2, 2020 because COVID19 was used as an excuse...since I work in a nursing home.
Examples of BASTARD BEHAVIOURS MOVES that Court Systems should pick up on... 1. Narcissist plans the removal of herself and daughter from the property jointly owned by the husband one day before the JOINT BIRTHDAY between the HUSBAND/ DAUGHTER. 2. The narcissistic wife books a Holiday which includes the date of FATHER'S DAY...after which she cancels said holiday after finding out that the Father and Daughter met up and celebrated FATHER'S DAY on another date. ......these and many more examples should be challenged in court. The following Birthday was also manipulated. Coincidence...you do the MATH Rebecca.
@@RebeccaZungEsq It is fine Rebecca...many empaths are Seers....i knew those dates were coming...and then some. Her setting my brother off to get at me revealed another narcissist to me...HIM..right down to HIM referring to me as THE NARCISSIST..... I laughed out loud as i verbally fending him off with YOU ARE NO LONGER MY BROTHER, DON'T EVER REFER TO ME AS BRO AGAIN AND GET YOUR BLOODY HANDS OFF ME ..he screamed 3 deep insults at me and walked off like a spoilt child. Laughable..now he surrounds himself with others....once summoning six men to a local cafe. He must think i am gonna slice him up like CONAN THE BARBARIAN.. I JUST UPPED AND WALKED OUT..not a word Two of my nephews in that group of six...looking confused..he told THEM i attacked him..my Father witnessed it all and is astonished that i predicted his cowardice. Not hard is it Rebecca...they are way too busy messing folk up in the present to think of the future...because they have no concept of a future after causing folk grief in the present. FOOLS.
Its regarding after divorce settlement through a mediation filled in court . Husband says he is going back to his attorney to request things that were settled in the mediation.
My ex is still denying reality, still running from 9 years of not paying child support. I will be getting payments from his Social Security checks. What a loser. He owes me over $40,000.00
They are nuts i tried to give the crazy woman everything just to be rid of her she wouldn't sign She dreads the end loss of control over me hihi I know the rules of the game now i am going to take half of everything She left thinking that she could come back when she wanted ,i am her property hihi so she thinks they never give up ownership in there delusional heads
I had pictures of my ex- husbands affair on my phone! My lawyer sucked totally. It never came out in court because she said it didnt matter if he cheated on me.
Drop the guilt guys, this is all about self preservation for your children and your loved ones. If you survive this everyone who loves you will be relieved, pleased and proud of you...Thank you for this insight...
"...steal your life from you and rent space in your head."
Perfectly put.
After being submissive for nearly 3 decades, it was tough to be ‘offensive’ with my Narc and his lawyer. But their terms and claims were so preposterous, I had to be proactive. Thankfully, I found out about Narcissism around the same time and realised what was happening. Thank you for reaching out and giving us such excellent advice and tools to deal with these demonic beings🙏🏼.
I got eaten alive as you say, because I didn't know at the time that he was a covert narcissist. It became clear to me about 4 months after the divorce when I already moved out. Terrible thing to realise after 22 years.
Same situation here, only finding out now how much of a narcissist she is . 22 years together also.
Crazy how you are describing everything I am going through. My lawyer spoke with you and you gave great advice. Thank you for these great videos. You really are a huge help and blessing.
Abusive ex husband from the Middle East here too 🙋♀️😭
You just described my divorce to a tee. Took 4 years and every tactic you described happened. Thanks for your insights. Documentation helped me too!
Dina Golan,You deserve better 🙏
A suggestion which may seem too much time consuming yet when dealing with the Narc once you have the strength and self esteem to divorce the partner, it's worth implementing Due to their extreme manipulate nature preventing them from IT manipulation and falsify your arrangement s and communication.By refusing to speak to them telephonically or phoning or cell ph texting one can inform the Narc that unless they send an email no other form of communication will be responded to.
Know this is tedious yet one step further is : " my response to you is in writing in an email with a written attachment which will be formatted PDF
With PDF the Narc cannot falsify the content. Thanks for yr empowering program.. Love and Light for Healthy self esteem support.
Starting to really love you, Rebecca Zung! Keep posting these awesome videos!
He says, “your attorney is only in it for the money”. Ummm yeah.......I am paying her for a service.
He tells our adult son, “your mom’s attorney is milking me dry.”
Like the divorce is all my attorney’s fault.
Because “I never did anything with my life” (stay at home mom), I am unable to comprehend how things get done in the “real” world.
I lived in that psycho BS for several decades, and sadly, believed it for quite awhile.
Me too. More power for recognizing your true worth and becoming sovereign as you are meant to be!
Me too I need to get out. How do you escape with no money, can’t work, needing his medical insurance. How do you escape that
That comment was always my favorite:
As I am an attorney I was always saying “litigation is adversarial?” I should drop mine? When you lied at every mediation, negotiation and little coward pow wow show you put on with my little girls watching.
@@speedskater5613 I understand...I was there. I suffered through it all the while preparing to return to the workforce.,..it happened but it was pure hell until I had the money and benefits and a wonderful sister who took me in until my apt is available .I have lost so much but it's only stuff. He really did get the short stick...he's gonna cut his nose off to spite his face. I don't care he can and will do whatever he wants. I have no power over that ..he now has ño power over me. The sacrifices are worth it. Stay strong and focused. Don't stop until you are free.
Hi Rebecca. I feel like you are speaking directly to me in all of your videos. You have made me realize I'm not alone or going crazy. Thank you for this.
Me too 😏
What about the dirty trick of the Narcissistic Spouse quitting their job on purpose before the divorce at the first hearing so they don't have to pay more alimony or any alimony?
Thank you for doing this Rebecca. 25 years married malignant narc. 3 and 1/2 year divorce, manipulating the experts, judge, so many lies. I believe looking at my emails, etc. Thankfully no kids. Ive lost everything and facing bankruptcy. She has it all. In the beginning I did not know about narcs. But was aware my head was always in a spin for mo reason. Been though several layers, when I talc off narcs they think I'm the mad one. So thank you for your vids.
I no longer feel "guilt" for trying to preserve what little sense of self I have left after 6 years of my narcs psyical, emotional, and verbal abuse!
Much respect to the lovely ladies on this channel Kim Saeed & Rebecca Zung 🙏!
Me too. Reactivity is naughty but I’m not scared anymore. And I can present my case for years and years. Losing my kids and becoming a loving mom and once successful attorney writer, loving friend and warm daughter - finding myself as the food stamps whor- he said I would be?
With my family gone
NO
Thank You Rebecca! I listen to you and I get empowered. This is a difficult situation and sometimes I doubt myself and think I am not going to get out of this divorce with my good reputation and people understanding where I am coming from. Then I listen to you again and I know it’s possible to come out on top.
I wish it is that easy to get an attorney.
Not everybody can, is able to, or some like myself get knocked out of the running to get an attorney before they even get started. BEWARE of narcs that will, 'make paper' on you just to fill up the case folder. If a would-be attorney (retail or pro bono) sees that a potential case is too litigious; you may be faced with a case nobody wants; and that's a very real and sad reality.
I’m going through divorce right now. He never involved with our child and when i asked for divorce our child becomes his priority! But still just to scare me. He didn’t till now paid child support, or connection from his side. All what you talked about in all your videos showed me the real him.
Offense prior to divorce, prior to letting him know you are onto him, sell your home. Look at the laws in your State and if supported take your half.
It’s sadly the end of my story.
I will forever love my adult son’s but after five years of agony as well as family losses I want out.
I have been married 5 years together 7
It’s terrible and I can not find anyone here that understands this narc behavior I need a lawyer I can not find anyone that doesn’t say just walk away you’ll get nothing and I have nothing no job now no money no house I have explained it but it always seems he is so great public business owner no one cares he cheats or disrespects me
In my experience, collecting and documenting evidence of all the stuff that happened, all the broken agreements, and everything else that happened, was absolutely useless. Every single time, the healthcare workers or judge or other legal workers just said it was evidence of the divorce battle between both parents. That's it. My narcissistic ex would hear or read what I had collected and promptly claimed I did the exact same things to her, further reinforcing the belief that it is just two parents in a divorce battle.
So what was the outcome
@@erinoutram1639 Ongoing. The system prevents healthcare workers from pointing to one parent as the cause of the issues, so formally they won't. This makes it complicated and a long term process. Right now, my oldest son lives with me 100% of the time and he refuses any and all contact with his mother. As far as he's concerned, he doesn't have a mother. It's probably only a matter of time before my other kids follow.
Take away message for anyone in a situation like this is to be prepared for a long, very long process. But in the end, it's worth it for you and your kids.
Hi Rebecca,
I am going through a divorce from a Malignant Narcissist or sociopath, which ever is worse. She has spent the last 15 or more years building a wall between my daughters and I, while she has had a secret life of adultery and drinking. I never knew anything about a sociopath until having a conversation with her mom about her & we looked up her behavior online and discovered she fit the description perfectly except for maybe wanting to rule the world, but I never learned how to deal with this type of person. I finally caught her cheating, but didn't take photos because I just watched with my jaw hanging open, and later confronted her about it. She got to my daughters before I did & said I was lying-making it all up. Therefore, they won't talk to me at all. It tears me up & it seems there is nothing that can be done. They are 27 & 30, so no custody issue here, but complete injustice and alienation. What can be done? Can I get the court to intervene?
WOW! perfectly describes what I've been going through for the last 4.5yrs
Thank you God you safe my life
Overwhelming compelling and good. This is like the elephant in the room. Not my room.
Thank You Ladies! This is Life Saving!!
🙏🏽💜
Boy, have I had many wake up calls. I keep hoping it is over, but around every corner there is another very surprising and diabolical behaviour
Sometimes I'm so happy I didn't get married. i have enough trouble with me.
Thank you 🙏. You two are amazing team. Very informative and practical for me🇮🇸😊💕
I really appreciate , your videos are real training courses 😊
My ex-wife came across as this will be simple and easy. I knew better and was preparing my attorney for a war.
Wow. I wish I could have found an attorney like you 22 years ago. I had to go back to school to become "employable " according to my narc & his attorney & I still have student loans at age 69. If I have a lifetime restraining order, can I use it if he is doing a smear campaign against me with the grandchildren?
Cheryl Hillskemper,Hope you are not with a narcissist 😈!
Narcissists find it intelligent to ask - what´s your problem?" in situations of conflict as if is going crazy and they try to act empathic but in fact they mean - why are so rude and emotional.
Mine did the same.
IT GETS NO SNEAKIER THAN THIS....MY wife , put our child in therapy unbeknownst to me. Were separated in anticipation of divorce and unfortunately our child has been with her since the separation began. She has been alienated as result of this tactic but I hope the courts sees thru it. Anyway.....my wife put our child into therapy to learn " Assertiveness". She tells the therapist my daughter is being bullied in school. Offers no proof , of course, but who would lie about something like this , right? A Narcissist, thats who...meanwhile my daughter is learning to be assertive. Good thing right? NOT!!...Now my daughter begins to tell me she doesn't want to come over to stay at my house and phone calls become scarce. The assertiveness therapy is working but the Therapist isn't aware she's using the assertiveness training against me. Prior to all this beginning , my wife's answer to my divorce pleading stated that the " child should be allowed to make the decision to interact with her father and should not be forced to go if she doesn't want to." My wife also put in writing that she often tells my daughter how she will miss her if she goes to my house.....And this is how the cult like indoctrination of alienating a child happens. Talk about sneaky!!
My wife refused to work a lot of the time then bitched and complained when I'd come home that we were living with my parents. I would tell her if she wants to get out of the house, help me. It was "I can't do that, who would keep this house clean?" She would barely do a load of laundry, let alone sweep the floor! I had to come home and straighten up our area.
Do you know a lawer like you from PA?
Learning a lot from you , just starting battle with narc sociopath with heavy addiction to meth being manufactured in a rental property garage , plus highly functional alcoholism.
Looks like he just started smear campaign with the Landlord and removed me from apartment over 3 hours , changing door lack. Landlord refused to give me a new key because I wasn’t on the lease!!!!Also refused to allowed me to enter an apartment to get my personal belongings.That evening a was left with the car keys and wallet, both brought by cops who get permission to enter a property with property manager to retrieve from apartment . Lawyers don’t care who their clients are!!! Plus mostly don’t know a lot about narcs!!!and even are narcs by themselves might not realize it!!!
My ex was trying to spend the night with my parents and he loves the triangulation with my family. I had to show my parents proof he is lying and has been twisting stuff around for years in our relationship.
Oh, I've got one better for you. Don't know how he pulled this one off but somehow he managed to connect w/ my mother whom he HAS NOT SEEN IN MORE THAN 25 YRS and NEVER HAD HER CONTACT INFORMATION!!! My former Narc-- went so far as to take our son ACROSS THE U.S. without telling me w/o consulting w/ me as part of his bi-weekly visitation and brought him to the home of my toxic mother who chain smokes. Never mind the fact that my son is borderline asthmatic, has a MH profile who presents w/ anxiety disorder. Needless, to say my son was scared to death that he might not ever see me, again. In addition, b/c my mom and I were not on speaking terms my son's father's strategy was to appear to my mother as the proverbial "Greek Bearing Gifts". So, what does he do he goes to my mom's house and shows up with a bottle of wine, plying her with alcohol so that she have 'loose lips' and say some pretty awful things about me -- sadly which she did. All of it UNTRUE. However, he used that carefully 'mined' information against me in court to absolute aplomb victory on his part. I've never so crushed before in my life. My son is on the beginning stages of telling me he doesn't want to talk to me because other people have told him I'm not a good person. It hurts. You have no idea it hurts.
@@trojanette8345 I really understand how you feel, I really do! My ex did exactly the same. He approached EVERYBODY including my mother. Manipulating all of them with his contrived narrative and lies. Keep loving your son he’ll come around.
X
Another great video. Keep posting. This is valuable info. Hugs ❤️
Just had the custody conference today and the stuff they said about me was disgusting and just lies.
Little does my “husband” know that his own father is going to testify against him in court.
Amazing video!
Funny how my neighbors be talking about loyalty and respect when they are neither of those towards me . Their shirts with words they can't or won't live by .
@@RebeccaZungEsq Namaste ❤
I loved this video. It gave me hope. When you live in a 50/50 state when in a divorce, is it possible to win more assets than 50%?
Yes it is hun. Every state is “50/50”. They all begin by weeding out what property you owned before the marriage (which would be considered personal property) and what was acquired DURING the marriage. When they begin “splitting” the assets, it’s 100% possible for you to come out with more than the other party. Nothing is ever actually split in half. There will always be an imbalance at one side or another.
Why would you want more than 50% assets? Sounds very narcissistic. 🤷🏾♂️
@@-MaryPoppins- Incorrect.
Not every state is 50/50. Please, look up the specific state in question.
@Bet👋Every case is individual. Your specific case question is better answered if asked to the attorney who is familiar with it. Anyone else is going to give you a general idea; or worse the wrong answer if not even in your state.
@@HidNTrackz lol 😆 not knowing their situation; and because here are talking about Narcissistic individuals is that reason enough to accuse someone of being one? What if they have a legitimate reason for needing more or asking for a larger percentage? We don’t need to know to satisfy our own curiosity 🧐
Great video. Love this channel so much truth
Again, I am the victim and I'm also the one saying "let's do this without attorneys" - and I HAVE inventoried all our assets. I really don't want to buy the attorneys a new boat!
What if we create and have notarized an asset agreement? (we have no children, only assets) Here in Texas, it's only 61 days from filing to divorce granted for non-contested divorce. That's ideal.
I really really don't want to spend the money on an attorney! I NEED that money to start my life over! I work for my NH! He totally stole my career! But Texas has very narrow parameters for spousal support. It's almost impossible to get spousal support here.
I think total trust in any relationship is overpriced as i ended up hating myself for ever believing my ex-husband. When my ex-husband started getting home late, I would ask and he'd say something came up at work. When i couldn't take any more of his lies, I decided it was time i get to know what was really going on. On the recommendation of a friend, I contacted this great ethical hacker (cyberhackingsage@gmail) who cloned his cellphone without physically touching the device and as a result, I was able to access his social media accounts, GPS Location , iMessage , call logs and text messages (both recent and deleted) through a remote decryption link sent to me. I discovered he is a liar who is having a secret affair with his secretary and that he has been using money from our joint account to finance the affair .Thanks to cyberhackingsage , I was able to file for divorce with lots of evidence against him. If you're ever in doubt or you need that extra bit of closure, I recommend you send a mail to cyberhackingsage@gmail or text and WhatsApp them at +15713758467.I hope you find peace of mind just like me after I discovered the truth.
Narcissistic divorce is the exception. You NEED lawyer.
Listening to your sessions on complexity when it comes to Divorcing a Narsasis ...what is your approach in a suggestion that due to the emotional/ and or physical/ financial / sexual abuse that was endured that before a woman decide to leave / divorce it is possible that the abused victim have a strategy for their exit and that can assist to work in a Team between yrself and a psychologist who can assist your client. Thus could serve as a preventive measure.. Empowering sessions where the legal and trauma aspects can be dealt with to prepare all concern.
My question is how do you get a lawyer when HE controls all the money coming in? Or he sabatages every attempt you make to get a job in order to pay for one? Its soooo hard to get back into the job market when you've been out for 10 years and you're 50 years old with no real marketable skills.
How are you suppose to come up with a $5,000 retainer or $500 program when you get yelled at for buying too many groceries?
Free legal clinics, social worker supports, govt abuse shelters, loan from a relative, sell stuff and save the $$ (Kijiji). While in marriage, get as many credit cards as you can, increase your ceiling limit, get a personal loan approved. Gather all financial docs, passports, etc. There's a lot to do!
@@dawnday5105 when they manage the finances, getting credit cards 💳 is known to them. Some of us lack the strategic thoughts for planning .. until one day. They fall for their own trap 🪤
@@dawnday5105 Yeah see solutions not problems
I wish you were my lawyer! My ex- husband abused me until I was disabled and deleted all money from joint bank account and held my mail for 8 months so I would lose my disability. Used both kids against me. Threaten me to break into house and cut my brakes on my car if I didnt come over and sign his agreement. My divorce lawyer didnt do a financial affidavit on him and he committed perjury in court on 4 accounts. Thanks legalsheild!!! They ruined my life . My lawyer bullied me into signing final devorice decree at mediation. She was less than seller and she lied to me several times. I had to fire her and finish divorce for myself!!! I got 17,500 out of divorce!!! No alimony after 31 years of marriage! I'm disabled from his abuse and he left me disabled and homeless and bankrupt! I got ALL joint debt 8,000. Narrisst always play the victim!!! He is still talking shit about me to my adult kids!!!
I wish she had been my daughters lawyer too.My ex son in law lied to the judge, he hide recorders to listen to my daughters conversations..slandered her in public..hide his money from her..the list goes on. I never knew he was like this..until his mask came off. so sorry what you went through too.
Keeping myself out of his 'smear campaign', keeps ME clean! I CAN stand up on honest character.
How do you prove your ex is lying about his earnings to the courts for child support?
Most judges demand tax docs but some narcs don't file, other docs would be unemployment security records, paystubs and bank statements, (including hidden accounts, you may know of). Sometimes these require subpoenas.
There are lawyers that specialize in partners with their own business, coz that's a notorious type for hiding real net worth.
I am seeing this now. But this is posted almost 2 yrs ago. Is the discount in this video still available?
the Narc to do checklist - hilarious!
Very informative.
Thank you.
Double trouble for me, mine is a bankruptcy lawyer and runs a financial business...
In this case, if he runs his personal life as a lying manipulative narcisist then you can be sure that the business is run that way to.
Their must be evidence, find a way to get the business audited.
Anca Marr i would never marry anyone attorney! Yikes
DANG GURL!
Where is the crush your negotiation worksheet? I did not see the link below.
I also needed this
Kim, please can I get in touch with her? I'm in Africa, Ghana 🇬🇭 to be precise. I really need to how to gather information for the lawyer and also to talk in court
Do you ignore a nasty letter from a family member of the spouse?
Well I could not afford lawyer here in Vero Beach Fl. They are $400.00 an hour so they directed me to a lawyer that did my papers for $900.00 than pay courthouse $408.00 and than $10.00 to serve him papers which that part is'nt being done yet because of carona virus...so waitin on that. ANY ADVICE REBECCA??
You do NOT need to wait to serve him hun. Mail it with a required signature, and that will be more than enough proof that he was served :)
Good
Amen!
My neighbor is trying to wiretap my phone right now and getting messages for Jake.
Love what both of you say! However, you do not cover the alienating narcs who have won custody or placement in court by lies. Plus, they have a narc parent who assists with the alienation and raising the children...doing a horrible job. Watching the demise of your own children is another trauma.
Do either of you know any attorneys in Rhode Island or nearby? I have not seen my oldest in two years. I have not seen my youngest since April 2, 2020 because COVID19 was used as an excuse...since I work in a nursing home.
If you going through a divorce you need to subscribe to this channel. It is the best thing you can do for yourself.
No kids are involved
What about hidden assets?
I haven’t file yet but that’s my situation. I don’t know if hiring an attorney is worth it.
Anca Marr forensic audit!
Forensic accountants. But make sure your assets justify the cost of one, coz they're expensive, too.
is there any other way to contact you I don't use social media
Who is married?
please help me.
I wish I could afford a lawyer. I want to file for divorce like last year!!
Google legal aid, legal clinics, social workers who can help you beyond just the legal battle (like abuse shelters, gov't
...govt $$supports and loans, govt protection.
Examples of BASTARD BEHAVIOURS MOVES that Court Systems should pick up on...
1. Narcissist plans the removal of herself and daughter from the property jointly owned by the husband one day before the JOINT BIRTHDAY between the HUSBAND/ DAUGHTER.
2. The narcissistic wife books a Holiday which includes the date of FATHER'S DAY...after which she cancels said holiday after finding out that the Father and Daughter met up and celebrated FATHER'S DAY on another date.
......these and many more examples should be challenged in court.
The following Birthday was also manipulated.
Coincidence...you do the MATH Rebecca.
@@RebeccaZungEsq It is fine Rebecca...many empaths are Seers....i knew those dates were coming...and then some. Her setting my brother off to get at me revealed another narcissist to me...HIM..right down to HIM referring to me as THE NARCISSIST.....
I laughed out loud as i verbally fending him off with YOU ARE NO LONGER MY BROTHER, DON'T EVER REFER TO ME AS BRO AGAIN AND GET YOUR BLOODY HANDS OFF ME
..he screamed 3 deep insults at me and walked off like a spoilt child.
Laughable..now he surrounds himself with others....once summoning six men to a local cafe. He must think i am gonna slice him up like CONAN THE BARBARIAN..
I JUST UPPED AND WALKED OUT..not a word
Two of my nephews in that group of six...looking confused..he told THEM i attacked him..my Father witnessed it all and is astonished that i predicted his cowardice.
Not hard is it Rebecca...they are way too busy messing folk up in the present to think of the future...because they have no concept of a future after causing folk grief in the present.
FOOLS.
I have an important question. How do I contact you.
Its regarding after divorce settlement through a mediation filled in court . Husband says he is going back to his attorney to request things that were settled in the mediation.
My ex is still denying reality, still running from 9 years of not paying child support. I will be getting payments from his Social Security checks. What a loser. He owes me over $40,000.00
They are nuts i tried to give the crazy woman everything just to be rid of her she wouldn't sign
She dreads the end loss of control over me hihi I know the rules of the game now i am going to take half of everything
She left thinking that she could come back when she wanted ,i am her property hihi so she thinks they never give up ownership in there delusional heads
I had pictures of my ex- husbands affair on my phone! My lawyer sucked totally. It never came out in court because she said it didnt matter if he cheated on me.
In most states, it actually doesn't matter.
Come to Jesus moments 😱🤣
Thank you