ANSWERING YOUR QUESTIONS WHILE I DO MY MAKEUP | Q&A
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- Опубліковано 2 лип 2024
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Thanks for watching!
Kristi
xoxo
HI! My name is Kristi! Welcome to my channel!
First off, I am not your average UA-cam Beauty Vlogger. I do the typical Product Reviews, Makeup Tutorials, Lifestyle Vlogs and SO much more, all with a sense of humor and a bit of a potty mouth. You can ALWAYS be assured that i am giving my full and HONEST opinion. SUBSCRIBE & Join in on the fun!
FTC Disclaimer: This video is NOT sponsored. All opinions are 100% mine. I only talk about products I genuinely like and only give honest reviews.
ALL LINKS beginning with an asterisk are affiliate links * Affiliate links meaning if you click the link and purchase items through that link, I will receive a small commission on that purchase*
Some products are sent to me for consideration of a review. (PR) - Навчання та стиль
I’ve been watching you for 7 years, and your personality is exactly the same as it’s always been. Your content has changed, because your LIFE and your PRIORITIES have changed. As a childless person who has no plans to change that, I still resonate with you and your content just as much. Even if I didn’t, that’s not your problem or something to be mad about. Our lives are shaped by our experiences, and you’re allowed whatever experiences you want! You don’t owe me content that will entertain me if we are in different places. But, I still watch because I love you and your personality. 💜
Very well said! I feel the same way.
Agreed. Well put
Well said, Jenna! ❤
I couldn’t say it any better, I feel exactly the same! We love you Kristi, you are my spirit animal ❤
Totally agree
It sounds so silly, but THANK YOU for being so relatable. I started watching you when I was younger & makeup was so fun and glamorous. Now I’m a mom & priorities change, interests change, reality changes. So many channels I started watching back then are so far off of what my life looks like now but I still feel so connected to you & your journey because it looks the closest to mine. I’ve been a military wife for the past decade so I haven’t had the opportunity to really create a local community either since we move so often. I appreciate your honestly & keeping things realistic for us. Always rooting for you 💛
I’ve been a military spouse for the past 10 years as well. It is SO hard being a mom with the constant moves and the difficulty of building a community! By the time you start finding your people you move 😂.
I literally relate to this so much! My husband was navy for 10 years, we’ve moved like 6 times, my life has transformed to being a mommy of a 2.5 year old, makeup is literally a back burner thing to me now. I still watch makeup content but I appreciate real life content so much more now because it’s more relatable. I remember watching kristi when I was pregnant and literally cackling. But I totally agree, her life now is very aligned to mine. 💕
Exactly this!^^
I love Kristi , I have built my community online as well and I relate to her as well. Btw I think you’re amazing for being a military wife ☺️💜🥰
Military wife here, as well (22 years), and I 100% agree with everything you said!! 💜 we truly love ya Kristi 💜
You seem happier with yourself and more secure now. Like you’ve gotten some self-esteem and fulfilment out of motherhood, and with these new priorities you don’t need that surface level approval from the internet, which is awesome. Good for you! I’m happy for you.
Kristi, it would be odd if motherhood didn't change u. It literally changes everything. Just be you, whatever season of life and version of yourself you are in.
That's a great part of the video! Such a great answer, so true and I really hope that helps other women that hear the same things "You've changed..you're not as happy-go-lucky...you have no personality" I love when she said something like "No sh*t it has changed me, I went from this TV watching cat petting person just doing whatever to having this little creature that I have to keep safe and teach everything to 24/7 for the rest of my life! Of Course it has changed me!" lol I love her.
Gimme that motherhood talk too ✨
Never had kids. I’m living through Kristi and I like all the things she does now so much more than any of the what’s new in makeup nonsense.
All Moms go through a personality loss in the beginning. We are busy trying to keep another human alive and it consumes us....it has to. But eventually we are allowed to remember who we are as a person, not "just a mom". You are doing great! And you are still loved and liked 😀 (incase no one told you today)
I pity people who “don’t change.” Imagine never learning and evolving. Couldn’t be me. I love who you are, Kristi. You’ve always been YOU and I’m here for it. ❤️
You haven't lost your personality it's just evolved, you're still the same awesome person. Absolutely love how normal and relatable you are, I can literally listen to you talk about anything ❤️❤️❤️
💯. Kristi you’re amazing and I love the way you have evolved. Never stop being you! ♥️
This has really helped me. Someone actually admitting to doing things online for others too. Cause I isolate alot and then I feel ashamed like I just want validation... but I don't want to be lonely. It's like an internal battle and everyone always says oh they do it for themselves. If I wanted to do things just for myself I'd just stay on the couch. Idk can't explain but you explained it right.
Same. I see you. 🖤
@@yeneka713 third that ♥️
She did explain it right. Perfectly, in fact. I agree 100%. 🙂👍
Same, same.
Oh man that's literally me. I am the queen of isolation. That's my go to. I know I shoul try to go out and be around ppl but it feels impossible. It's a vicious cycle that only makes me feel even worse about myself. Mental illness is real and it's devastating 😢 I love when Kristi talks about it.. she does explain things in such a perfect way. I wish more ppl understood the struggle.
Your son having comedic timing, wonder how could that be… 🙃not like he has an extremely funny mom or something 😂😂❤️ I’m so happy to see you this happy
I had the exact same thought 🤣 she’s always been one of the channels that has given me the most laughs and comfort over the years (9 or 10??) , along with KathleenLights ❤️ it always made perfect sense why they were friends to me, because I get similar type of humour and down to earth vibes from them both!
They’re two of the main people I follow anymore on UA-cam
I literally thought the same exact thing! 🤣
I totally relate to the "baking a cake" analogy. If i'm cooking for my husband or my kids or guests in our home or the homeless or whatever, i go all out. Multiple courses and intricate dishes. If it's just me, it's cereal or toast or (most of the time) nothing at all. I work much harder when i'm doing something for others than i do when it's just for me.
You deserve the effort you put in for others!
I tend to do the same. I totally understand.
I love that she acknowledged that you’ll change as a mom. I wish somebody had warned me so I wouldn’t have been so shocked by the friends I lost after being the first person in our group to become a mom (at 20).
Same I lost all my friends when I became a mom. My husband and I for 17 years now have done it all by ourselves. It took us forever to have kids. So when we finally had 2. All our friends didn’t have kids and didn’t understand why we changed so much. I had no community what so ever. I have been blessed to be a stay at home mom and raise my kids I am so so blessed. And they are wonderful smart great little gentlemen. And I am ok with how our lives have turned out. I would not change it for anyone or anything. ❤️❤️
I really don’t see the “loss of personality,” in my opinion you seem very grounded and purposeful in life. You’re still the same ol funny kristi!!
You’re literally the only person I still have notifications for on UA-cam and that I immediately click.
Me too!!! Love you Kristi!
Same!
Same- her & Sam!
Yes me too!!!!! I click immediately and drop everything lol 😂
Same
The fact that you’ve “changed” just means that you’re continuing to be authentic and that is the exact reason I subscribed to you in the first place. Please continue to be authentically you, authenticity looks beautiful on you ❤️
I LOVE your personality then and now! I love how you’ve changed, but you’re still Kristi to me. I feel like I’ve changed in similar ways to you regarding interests and hobbies and home things (minus motherhood because I’m not a mother, but even then I love watching your motherhood chats).
I also appreciate your choice to not share your child’s face. There’s no way for him to consent to being on the internet, making you money, etc. It’s nice that you still share him walking around and such.
“Just a mom” WTF?… being a mom/parent is the hardest & most rewarding gift ever! I take extreme pleasure on being a mom. I’ve raised my son, who is now grown, married and extremely successful and as a mom, I take pride in that. How dare anybody say “Just a mom.” My saying is “F**k YES, IM A MOM!” And I love everything that comes with that! ❤️MOM POWER!❤️
Personality gone? No way babe. You’re just growing & evolving. And I LOVE it. ❤️
I found myself In motherhood. My toddler brings out the best version of me. She has forced me to figure out exactly who I am. My greatest accomplishment is being a mom. You hold yourself more accountable. Keep being a great mom!!!
I love this so much girl friend! And NO, your personality hasn’t “left”. Dudette, if anything, I’m enjoying the wit, relatability and variety of your topics now more than before!
I’d be interested in a motherhood q and a!!
🤣
The way in which you are able to articulate and comprehend thoughts and emotions when talking about topics that may not always be accessible to everyone (influencer, parenthood), and make them relatable and real is a credit to the work you’ve been doing for yourself. As you said, it’s all interpretation. And I (personally) can hear the hours of therapy and growth in who you are at this current time.
The joy of humanity is evolution.
Thank you for the privilege of the last 5 years Kristi.
I love how genuine and sincere you are. I will always watch your content. Beauty or otherwise.
OMG...the hug "Beep Beep!" 😍🤣 My 18 month old LOVES to claim her "Toots" and calls out anyone else..meaning her dad and our dogs lol 😉😅 She is always SO pleased with herself! Kiddos are hilarious. I love you and your content and your other channel. All of it. Any of it. You have inspired me in NUMEROUS ways, and just seeing a video you put out makes me feel like I'm catching up with a friend. No grand occasion, just an update on life while hanging out. I listen/watch while gardening or during baby walks. It's like a mom-hang, ya know? Anyways, all to say you and your family are wonderful. 💚💚
I’m a hard core gardener, I’ve always done it for me. I’ve always wanted it to be stunning for me. Most people think my garden is beautiful when I see all the faults and all the things I need to work on. I love sharing it with my family and friends, I really love sharing it with my people who are garden people the most! They get how much work it takes and appreciate it so much more!
Oh no! No more “ am I orange?” I can’t tell you how many times that cracked me up. LOL. I’m with you about dogs. I had two dogs and a cat when my daughter was born until she was 5 when we lost one dog. The amount of work involved with caring for dogs is ridiculous compared to cats or a baby in my opinion. Now that My daughter is 30 and I only have a cat I’m happy. 😂. Edit: about personality…it’s not that personality changes when one becomes a parent, it’s that your focus changes and that is good and necessary. People that don’t put their children first will end up hurting their children emotionally and developmentally.
I just want to say that I truly appreciate you sharing your journey with postpartum anxiety. I went through that and it was the hardest thing I’ve ever done, and sometimes it still fucks with me and my son is 9. Seeing someone else experience the same things I did made me feel so much less alone. I’m sorry you dealt with it, but thank you for talking about it. 🖤
I always have at least 1 revelation or feeling of being understood when watching your videos. I’m a mom to a 15 month old, I watched you before we both became mothers. When you spoke about “it takes a village” that meant so much to me because everything you said was so true and was really eye opening for me. I’ve been saying this whole time how I have no help and everything is overwhelming. I can’t keep up on housework, all I do all day is cook and clean and try to get outside with my son and do different things with him, that is my priority. I desperately need a break I haven’t had one in weeks and now nursing a toddler while we all have covid. I also have PMDD and it makes being a mom and having a relationship on top of it is extremely hard. I used to think I was bipolar because of the cycling i was experiencing until my period leveled out postpartum and I started tracking it and I realized 7-10 days before my period things would go haywire lol. I struggled with PPD until I started forcing myself to take my son on daily walks and workout everyday January/February it was the hardest thing I ever done and I am now considering starting meds as well. Anyway sorry for rambling I just relate to you so much and want you to know that sharing these little parts of your life make me feel less alone. Thank you💖 happy to hear you are doing well and hope you continue heading upwards on your journey.
On the contrary, I see you becoming a beautiful, self-aware, caring woman who is developing a deeper sense of awareness and being. Your viewers will either catch up, come along for the ride, or jump. Bless those who grow with you and the new ones that come aboard and enjoy the ride!
You can literally talk about anything, I just enjoy hearing your voice lol
Same here. It's like hanging out with a friend. 😊
I feel like a lot of what you had to say about childrearing and upbringing can also be applied to caregiving. I became my mom's main caregiver this year and i feel EXACTLY like what you talked about. I've never related to anything as much as I did all of that. Thank you Kristi.
Yes, caring for another human humbles and changes you so much
For every 1 person that tells you that “you’ve changed since you’ve become a mom” there’s 50 of us that know exactly how you feel ❤️ Thank you for being you❤️
My youngest child is 42 but I still remember after the birth of my first child feeling like I shouldn’t be sexy or act sexy because I’m a Mom now and that’s not how a Mom should act. Identity crisis. If I could go back and do it over I would spend as much time with my husband and build our relationship up....💋🧚🏻♀️❤️🇺🇸
You are my freaking queen. I’m not a mother, dang near 40 and you inspire me alllll the time, girl! Basically you’re the sht.
girl, it's a relief to hear someone else talk about pmdd! i have suffered with it for several years now and it's almost impossible to explain to someone who hasn't experienced it just how debilitating it can be. thank you for sharing yourself always. ALSO, i LOVE seeing the way you change over time, and i adore hearing you talk about your kid and your experience as a mother.
I’m just here to say that I personally like “this personality” of yours much better! I’m a mother of 2 and couldn’t relate to your makeup videos as much bc literally my whole life is being a mother. I loveeee your videos now. You keep it sooo real!!! 💚
Omg the whole cycle thing - yes I get super rage during ovulation.... everything is a trigger ! The emotional roller coaster any given week makes me feel like I'm not human .... but talking to other women having the same feelings helps me feel more normal... I would hope we change as we age and lifestyle changes.... I love hearing about everything baby ! I know how badly you and Zack wanted a big family !! Of course you talk about the child you never thought would ever exist!! You have to check out the kiwico box for your little !! We love it ...
I love when you do these videos Kristi!! Literally don’t care how long they are!
i just adore you. I appreciate how open you are about mental health so much!!! And I don’t think your personality has changed at all - what has changed is you have matured and entered a new phase in your life. The BEST phase ever!!! Thank you for always being YOU ☺️
You’re so down to earth and everything you said resonated with me to the core. You are truly a breath of fresh air.
What I’ve learned about inner happiness & peace (every experience is different) is the more I’ve learned to do things for me vs for others, the more happy I have become. The more I put myself as my #1 priority, & honor what I need, the less I have cared about the “shoulds” and a “purpose” in life.
I personally love that your content is growing as you grow and change as a person :)
I love hearing you chat about motherhood! ❤️
Thank you so much Kristi for being YOU!♥️♥️♥️
idk what people are saying i think your personality is so strong and shines through in all your recent videos !! And is why i follow you tbh, cause i love your personality ! 💓
I love how honest you are, and in that way i feel like you havent changed. RawBeautyKristi is still as raw and real as ever!
Thank you so much for this video! Absolutely needed it ♥️
Seriously, great vid. Totally what folks need to hear. You said it exactly the way that makes sense to me, that's for sure.
I don’t consume parenting content so I’m definitely one of the people who will appreciate when you create dedicated motherhood content that I can then choose not to watch.
I don’t mind some parenting content because it’s a massive part of your life (and I can always just not watch) but I appreciate a balance, personally. Thanks for always being your awesome self! 💜
I just found your channel today and I had to instantly subscribe. I really enjoy how transparent and relatable you are. You have this way about you that feels really rare and genuine amongst that whole crowd in the beauty community. I love how you make your videos!
Yes yes yes on the motherhood Q+A! I'm a first time mom and love hearing about the experience of all mothers ❤
So good to see you ❤️ also you can rent air streams!
I relate to so much of what you said in the first half. Depression, community, social media, cussing Kristi (me 🙄)…love your chats. Keep being you.
Love you Kristi! Love your PERSONALITY!!!
I agree-being a mother forces you to deal with your own issues which is a good thing!
I’m so happy to see your face today! So excited to sit and eat my dinner with you ❤️
I’m doing the same! 😊
This is a PSA: If you no longer like Kristi’s life, with light and love, get your own ✌🏻
Every feeling is fleeting. I needed this!
Always so happy to listen to your chatty videos. Thank you for being so open 💛 Sending you & your family much love 🧡
I adored you in 2017 and I adore you now!! Keep being you.
💖 loved this q and a! I totally respect the way you respect your son and his privacy/life!! And I wish EVERYONE would quit asking women about thier uterus!!
I freaking love you!!! I also love that you know there are different types of people out there and you can still be you whether someone loves it or hates it. Honestly I think it’s great seeing how you’ve “changed” and how your channel has evolved with you over the years. You’re still the same Kristi I’ve always loved to watch bc you’re down to earth and just real. Thank you for being you and brightening my day by sharing little pieces of your life. ❤️❤️❤️
I love the difference, I love seeing how life changes force you to grow as a person and seeing how different ppl handle change helps me better handle change in my life! And just as a side note, I think Kristi now is much more fulfilled and more of a whole person.
I watch you because you feel like a friend. A really good one. I love your content because it’s you making it🥰
You're all good. It's part of motherhood.
When they're more self sufficient, around 4-5, you'll get a second wind.
It's hard for people without kids to understand. 💜💜💜
Thank you for sharing Kristi! I could listen to you talk about anything!! I love your videos 🫶🏼
Kristi, you are still HILARIOUS to me and I’ve been cheering you on from the sidelines since 2015 and I feel like I’m growing with you!! You have become such an amazing woman and mama and you have an amazing, growing personality, and a BEAUTIFUL soul. I just love ya!!
Definitely do a motherhood Q&A please
I truly think everyone in life is motivated by sharing their skills, work, and experiences. I think that we need to be proud of ourselves but have an instinct to be accepted and praised by others.
I really appreciate that you keep doing videos like this one.
I love you Kristy, thanks for being so honest, you look so well and happy and I’m so happy for you xxx
Kristi, I just wanted you to know how much I appreciate you and your authenticity! You have touched my life so much by sharing your experiences with mental health issues. I finally reached out to get the professional help that I so desperately needed. Although I’m maxed out financially at this point, I do plan on getting back to it as soon as my debt with my health insurance gets paid down. I’m so frustrated with our(U.S) health care system! But that’s another story🤬. Listening to you and seeing you doing the work and getting results has helped me realize that there is nothing more important than being in a better place (in every sense of the word) so that we can be there for our families👍🏼I’m actually well enough now that I’m going to be spending three weeks with my new grandson!!! The work is so worth it!!! You are a huge part of helping me get here! Do you! Always do you!!!❤️
All the unspoken words in the silence that followed "are you pregnant?" 🤣🤣🤣 deceased.
I’ve been here since you started your channel I believe and I for one appreciate all the ways that you’ve adapted to the changes that have come with new beginnings in your life. It’s true when you say that your personality forms around what you’re around and do all the time. If people choose to stay the same then that is on them. Make sure that you take time for yourself, however you can do that. I appreciate your raw honesty and relatability. I have 3 kids now from the 1 that I started with when I first started watching you.. my life is totally different and at times being a mother is all that I have the energy to be and I’m ok with that. I feel everything that you’re saying!! As long as you post videos I will be watching you :)
Of all the things you have shared over the years, your mental health journey has been so helpful to so many people. I love your beauty channel it was so much fun for a long time. Your pregency & birth was such a raw intense time that I'm sure taught many of us things we weren't aware of. I feel the journey that led to you getting the help you needed was so important, so many are too afraid to ask or don't know where to get help. You are a needed person on social media, thank you for sharing your life with us.
This upload is just what I needed.
So, no more orange Kristi?? nooooooooo!! 🧡🧡
"I get stuck in emotions really big" AND "everything feeling I feel feels permanent"!! omg that's exactly it!! You're so right.
Literally just ordered food and was thinking…damn what am I gonna do in the meantime…I love youu❤️❤️❤️
You've always had this incredible ability to speak your mind and what you say really resonates with me. Thank you for being you in every stage of your life!
I definitely understand. It took therapy for me to realize I have to make myself step out of my comfort zone to create a healthy community that I need. I still work at it daily, but the progress feels better than the stagnant/paralyzing fear.
I love that you’re not afraid to talk about this your channel. Mental health isn’t some sort of dirty little secret. Thank you Kristi for 1)being honest about what that conversation looks like and 2)having the conversation.
Thanks for all you do !
I was laughing and smiling so big when you were talking about how cute your son is. I just had my first baby, a boy, five months ago and now it totally get it. 😆
Also, with your personality “changing” - freaking everyone changes!
People that stay stagnant and don’t evolve scare me. It’s unnatural to stay stuck in the sameness forever.
I have so much respect for you and how you protect your sons privacy for his future and him as a tiny beautiful growing person. You're an amazing parent and I love listening to how you deal with problems that we all have. Love from the uk 🥰
YES to the motherhood q&a!! Would love to get updates about you and your son ❤️
Love seeing your face❤️❤️
Hello Kristi and everyone watching I hope that you have a wonderful and blessed week 😊 ❤
So much wisdom in this video, for reeeal. Love hearing you talk about this kind of stuff!! ❤️
I absolutely love that you respect your child so much. Love love love that
I totally get the “losing your personality” thing. I had my first baby at 22 and all my friends were still partying and living their lives and I just became a mom. I lost my fun, relaxed personality but of course to people who have all the freedom in the world and don’t have another human to take care of and didn’t go through a huge change in their life is going to look at me and think I’m boring but it is what it is. We just have different priorities once we become parents. Yes, we have to separate ourselves from being “mom” every once a while for our own sanity, but literally that’s what we do 24/7 and it’s stressful as fuck. But 9 years later, I am who I am and if people don’t like it they can bite me 😝
"I just became a mum" - most likely the biggest, most important change in life. And most definitely bigger than partying. You go, mum!
Honestly, if my boys were small again, I wouldn't show their faces either. I believe the same as you... social media isn't for everyone, and just as a child can't consent to so many things, it's so important to start early with teaching them consent. Your son may ask you, when he's much older, why you didn't show him in your videos.. or, he might just thank you.
Stumbled across your channel around 6 years ago and have followed ever since. So grateful how you talk so frankly and with so much humour about all aspects of life. I can relate on so many levels. Thank you x
Your honesty about parenting and your struggles, make mine feel normal and okay. I deeply appreciate this.
I have been so confused about why people don’t talk about how hard it is, and that’s made it harder for me. Thank you.
Having my son changed my life. My husband's did not change. I completely resent him because of it. My life revolves around my little dude... all day, every day. There's no time alone. No time when I'm not mom. I love it but damn, I need a day off. I don't get one though bc as a stay at home mom, apparently that's viewed as I'm a bum. I can't even poop alone.
Girl can relate so hard on this . I'm like my husband gets to see and talk to people his age 5 days a week while 7 days a week 24 -7 I'm stuck at home zero help no village I have not pooped alone since I was pregnant at 18 it's been what feels like forever . I think that I had to deal with some issues I felt like he got a break even though it was work and his body didn't change mines did with each and every kid and I am just a mom I'm not a human anymore I'm just a robot that is a maid and a bouncer separating fights at all times its hard because if and when I did speak up about how I felt people told me to shut up and put up and I became isolated because of the judgment just because I have these feelings does not mean I hate my kids I love them to pieces but I don't know I would like to do something I enjoy for once that doing what others need and expect of me all the time . I'm here to say you are not alone and feel free to chat with my anytime if you just need another person to talk to as humans we need one another and being isolated is not good for anyone. Things will get better for you in time just keep the hope alive .
Then ask for a day off. If your husband isn’t a garbage person, he would understand what you just wrote. And not communicating your feelings, needs and thoughts and feeling this way will lead to major resentment and destroy your relationship from the inside out.
@@hollydaugherty2620 I do not know who your comment was directed towards but if it was me I am very expressive and have no issues communicating for me it just is what it is . I understood long time ago I was always gonna have to give and give and run on fumes I have been doing this my whole life so for me it just another day running on fumes . Sometimes communication does not work and for others they have a support system for me I never had one since day 1 of my life . I guess I learned at a young age I had to care more for others than myself as well because despite my issues I wish I could be of help to the lady that made the comment above .
I’m about to give away my age here but that’s ok - speaking of things dogs eat….. one time when I was 1st dating my sons father, my form of birth control was a diaphragm & one evening it was left on the night table (in its ridiculous pink plastic case) & about a day or 2 later we needed it & couldn’t find it lol. The case was there but it was empty. We thought maybe I forgot to take it out from the last time - but we checked & it wasn’t in there lol. So he had a roommate who had a dog - a German shepherd & a short time after, the roommate approached us & asked us if we could have possibly left out any balloons bcz his dog threw up what looked like chewed up balloons! 🤣We just looked at each other and started laughing! That was the moment we knew where my diaphragm went!
For anyone who doesn’t know what a diaphragm looks like - it’s similar to a period cup except shallower & wider. It’s also been compared to an unused rolled up condom too - except wider & shallower lol. It wasn’t much later that we got pregnant with my son - who’s now almost 28. Even is older people were young once lol 😂.
Loved this video, Kristi! 💕
kristi, you always make me feel so grounded when I watch your videos. you're such an amazing human.
Died laughing when you talked about dogs because I feel exactly the same way!😂 I grew up with a house full of both cats and dogs and had both until my late 30s. I have since discovered that I can live without a dog, though I don't like it, but I am not in a position to truly provide for it the way I would want just like you said. However, I cannot live happily without cats; having at least one cat is imperative to my emotional well being.
1000%!!!!
I lost myself in motherhood. But that’s because social media made me feel like giving less than 100% of myself to motherhood would make me a bad mother. So I stopped doing literally anything for myself. Stopped painting, stopped drawing, stopped crocheting, stopped reading, stopped seeing my friends - because I had zero emotional budget for myself and gave it all to my kid. No wonder I was suicidal for a year and a half, thinking I was a horrible mother for not LOVING MOTHERHOOD the way the happy 2014 Instagram mommies said they did, wanting to get in a deadly crash so my kid didn’t have to grow up with me as their mother and they could just have some life insurance money instead… no wonder I was dying inside. Because nobody was taking care of me. No wonder my marriage was falling apart, my husband needed me and I didn’t know how to be what he needed on top of giving 100% of myself to my child. No wonder I isolated myself in shame, I didn’t want anyone to see that I wasn’t actually loving motherhood and that I was drowning inside. There is a process of discovering how to balance motherhood and the needs of your baby, with YOUR needs, and it is so hard to get your needs met in the first year of motherhood when you can’t even take a shower without the baby screaming at you for putting them down.
THIS is exactly why women have to remember that you are MORE than a mom. Yes, being a mother changes your life but you are still a human being with wants, needs and desires. Those are eclipsed right after baby is born but you CANNOT make your entire existence about your child. Not only will you end up being a helicopter parent, which your child WILL RESENT, but you will cripple them in every way. You have to have separate interests so you can have a healthy relationship with your kid, your partner and yourself. Your child needs friends as much as family. They need to fall down and scrape their knees and make decisions and make mistakes and get in trouble and learn consequences. They can't do those things with their mom constantly up their asses. The most important things you can do for your child are to make sure you are a WIFE FIRST because displaying a healthy marriage to your kids teaches them how to have healthy relationships. Give them independence and, lastly, let them fail.
I truly hope you are in a better place right now.
This is your first video I've ever seen, and you seem so down to earth and lovely! Thank you for sharing ❤️
I love that ur a new Momma I love that u talk about motherhood and all the ups and downs, I love that u are u and that will shine through no matter how life changes! U look beautiful ♡
As a sociology major (and future therapist), I study human behavior and how society affects it. We have been taught for a long time to be to ourselves and handle our own business. It's because we don't want to be judged. You don't want to be ostracized or looked down on by your peers because then you won't have a community at all. If the community has "guidelines" (what they deem normal ie. keeping the hard things private), you don't want to break them because they reject you. I don't think it's a lack of community. It's the state of the community. We, the community, have to change the "guidelines" to be more inclusive, sympathetic, and open to better our collective mental health.