THE Dumpers Experience | The Time I Broke NO CONTACT with my EX
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- Опубліковано 9 бер 2023
- THE Dumpers Experience | The Time I Broke NO CONTACT with my EX
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Brother, you truelly helped me getting my girl back. I am truelly thankful for your tips. 😀
How long did it take you if you don't mind me asking
@@khemical133 11 weeks and true commitment. We have a Son together though and I got through to her be being consistent, honest and said I really want to make things work. Like we are going to partner terapy and stuff and she see's me more involved into making her feel appriciated. Even though ive been out on dates with other girls and she knows she liked seeing me appriciated by other girls too , and she got maaaaad jealous when one of her friends called her and said Christoffer is dating another woman and she is a solid 10. 💀
Yeah how long ? 😂 Congratulations my man
Awesome. How long did you two go no contact?
How long did it take you? Can you share more details of how everything went down?
19 days into no contact after a long term relationship this shits so hard 😞. Thank you for these videos they are helping me cope.
All the best
Let’s talk here bro
I’m at 15 days right now
@@ND-vh7iv no contact is the toughest thing u can do but it’s required. Silence is so powerful. The only and only way u know If you are imp to somebody or not is by going silent. If u r imp they will call or text if u don’t hear from them you know where u stand
Ay guys best thing to do is work on yourself and become a better person
and not for the person but for yourself
@@ParadiseCommunity that’s all I been doing
I'm two weeks I don't even care no more. If she comes back cool but if she don't I'm on to the next one. Im not going to let someone under value me. Yeah it hurts but time heals all. Thanks for this content.
Did she ever come back? Or did you break no contact
Really appreciate you sharing that with us. That took some guts to share that... It's probably one of the most useful sincere posts that I have seen on this topic from anyone yet.
Coach, do appreciate your personal stories as well as advice. You are different from many other coaches giving both sides to further our understanding, hope, resolution to the situation. It's great to see you, a compassionate man who chooses to communicate honestly with the intent to help others.
I’m the dumper and I regretted immediately it was in the heat of the moment then he turned the tables in me and said we arent together anymore
Get better soon make sure that you're drinking plenty of water eating soup and garlic and all of your advice is always so appreciate it ❤️
I loved the personal story. More are welcome!
LOVE hearing your experiences, Coach. This really was THE MOST comforting video.
Break up was 28th June.
15 days after NO CONTACT...she called me yesterday(13th July) asking for forgiveness yet she's the one that initiated the break up. She said she missed my voice and suggested that we should meet up
Update
@@RandyLos1994 Things are not so good but we talk.
Love personal stories!
Thanks so much for sharing your break up story with us. I been no contact for a year now after the blind sided breakup without closure from him or me🤣
More videos like this brother, thanks for your story.
What I love most about this story is its insight and lessons from both perspectives. Most of your audience is the dumpee. And if you've never broken up with someone, it is almost impossible to understand the process of the dumper leading up to the climax.
One perspective I gained from listening to this story is that Blac didn't lose attraction to this woman. What he lost was HOPE. For reasons he didn't fully expound on, he didn't see her as marriageable. What we do know is that she wasn't ready for that. However, she did not want the relationship to end.
But since Blac didn't have hope for a future with her, he felt stagnant and as if he would be wasting his time continuing. So he gradually saw the signs and evaluated her actions and readiness constantly. Finally, however, things weren't dire enough for Blac to leave her. And breaking up with her under otherwise "good" terms would confuse them both.
So it took legitimate turmoil to arise for him to justify the decision he had already made. And that was the scapegoat. Remember, he was still attracted to her. But he wanted marriage. So keeping her around on a casual basis wasn't an option.
So, he did the honorable thing. Where he messed up was in getting intoxicated. His leaving the woman was a choice, and it doesn't seem like it was an easy one. He made the mistake of being drunk. And that will smash inhibitions and discipline.
He also maintains that he knew it still would not have worked differently between them.
Ultimately, SHE kept herself looking good and going on about her life. And she had already moved on by the time he tried to turn things around. So let that be your hope. But you must keep yourself up and go on about your life.
You’re the best!💯
2 years after leaving my ex started liking and following my stories but never reached out directly and neither did I. After two months of her watching liking my stories I liked one of her stories about a successful surgery she needed prior to the breakup and left it there. No other contact by either side. The onus is on her to reach out directly.
That's for sharing your story 😅💯💯💯
Day 20 on NC . It gets easier but some days are hard
Thank you for sharing coach!
Finally we hear about you. Wow! You always hear about us. Are you in a relationship and how long has it been?
By far one of my favorite videos you have done, tells us you were where slot of us are at now.
I definitely always wondered how you became such an expert on this relationship stuff being so young!!! Also yes more stories and examples from your experience would be great!
You helped me so much! I follow about ten or more coaches. You I listen to daily! Thank you!
I would love to go on. She blocked me on a few platforms, "few". Regularly posting sentimental storys, and owes me money....we didn't talk for like 2 weeks😂
Hope you feel better. ~Tammi
More stories pls
Hey dude, can you make a video about dumper getting rejected (becoming the dumpee) and what to do after ?
This is def my ex he drove past me one weekend from then on he kept messaging and the one day he just turned up to my house as he couldn’t handle me not messaging and not being present in his life I knew why he was there but I just told him it’s too late I’ve moved on so should you it took him a couple of months to realise it he confided in his family that he made a mistake leaving me just wants me back ahhh hellll no you made your bed so go and lie in it
Your absence and silence drives them crazy as they realise your no longer where they thought you would be
When they walk easily out my life what makes me think they won’t do it again ACTIONS shows who they really are just coz you miss me doesn’t mean you should get me back
Thanks very helpful!!!!
Coach blac me n my ex have a daughter together so we have to keep in contact but lately she's been asking me to do her favors but I tell her that's not my problem anymore. Is she starting to realize she has no control over me anymore and that I'm ready to move forward in life
Curious. Since you both were doing no contact and if you hadn't run into her that day... Being that you didn't think you were compatible and if you hadn't been drinking do you think you would have ever reached out and speak to her again or would your no contact have been permanent?
My ex breaks up with me on the phone . I tried to get my things 2 days later but she was reluctant to give it to me and insisted she needed to space to exchange things next week so we can at least speak with each other and wish each other well . I haven’t heard from her since Monday and I’ve been in deep thought about just forgetting about my things which are replaceable and not having an in person conversation. If she hits me up , wishing her well over text but idk. Can I ask you for some advice ?
Thanks ❤
@CoachBlac so you were in the Relief stage for 3-4 months?
After 3 months of our divorce. Ex wife wants to try again. No ma am. Too late. I worked on myself. Doing better. Feeling good. Don't need to go backwards.
Am 3 weeks no Contact i use see my ex gf almpst every day coz her son play with kids but i don't talk with about relationship.
What should i do any advice couch blac?
Can you make a video about the dumpers experience, who is trying to get his ex back after a year..., And when they speak there are clearly sparks. However she tells him to move on and that there is no chance of romance anymore, But still text him every now and again to tell him she’s thinking of him, she even invited him camping however since then a week ago she’s changed her tune. I left her year ago because our relationship became volatile and I couldn’t take the outbursts of aggression. But since then she seems to have calmed down and even to show signs of interest but is playing uninterested also.. kind of gas lighting a little bit
Hi Black. My ex broke up with me june, 2022. We studied in the same University. We saw each other in the campus. He saw my changes. Last December he graduated. After this, in this year he came in the campus to meet with his frnds. Currently 20 days, no contact happens. Does no contact works? How can i get back my ex? I always do every possible thing. I never tried to contact. Still now he doesn’t contact with me.
2 months no contact😢 feel like losing hope. We had a good relationship but she said i didn’t push the relationship forward which is bs cause I was the one who always engaged moving together and marriage
I broke no contact :c We started talking again after 3 months. The way she spoke to me like she wasn’t interested in me during that period, I asked her if she wants to rekindle she said not at this moment of time no she said she’s not mentally ready. but she said she goes for a drive and cries on his shoulder “mate” and I asked if they had sex she said yeah. I was upset and panicked she blocked me again. Hate this feeling.
Hello coach Blac! My ex came back after 4 months and a half of no contact. He said he regrets everything he did to me and he promised me to never make me suffer again. I’m so happy, but in the same time I have doubts about his intentions 😢 I’m so confused
Move slowly and make him prove his words through long-term action.
Update..?
I broke no contact this morning. Damn .
How do I book a coaching
And of course it’s a Megan. Fell in love with a damn robot 😂
Hi o ordered a journal about a month ago and I have not received it?
It’s an automatic digital download so once you order you can download it. Send me an email and I can forward you a copy
Bro I need to talk to you real talk
My ex sa back after 22 days of no contact. She reach out first taking advantage of my birthday. Today is my birthday 😅 thank you 🙏🙏
Did you guys get back together nd are you still together
Update..?
❤
Question: What are your thoughts on men, older men in particular (50's-60's) who suddenly feel that they are lacking purpose in their life and make a 180° turn? Such as, deciding to want to go to church, when that subject had never ever been brought up over the course of your relationship with him?
I just had the feeling to go to church out of nowhere starting Jan 1st and my boyfriend was so confused. It wasn’t a 180 - I can’t describe it - just a strong feeling
What kind of 180 degree turn?
Stillwater like the movie?😳
Should you apologize to your ex ? Can you make a video on this
Did you do something wrong?
What hurts the dumper more and makes them reflect on whether they should get back with you, the fact that you are trying to enjoy your life without them or show them that you are in pain and hurting because of this?
enjoy your life withou them. Dont show them your pain, they will only have pity for you.
Wooot? Are you serious about this question?!
It depends on the person and also the stage of the breakup that you're in. Within the first few months, I wouldn't show them how you're feeling. As another commenter said, it may only evoke pity or even revulsion in more ego-driven people. And even if a kinder ex DOES feel pity for you, it's unlikely to inspire them to change their mind. They have to miss you on their own terms, and decide for themselves what they want to do with that information once they've sat with it for awhile. Some people feel regret and do nothing about it, others will take action. But you can't control the situation by trying to emotionally manipulate them in the first little while: it won't work.
@@a.r.8954 thank you
I feel like she’s not gonna come back, we’ve been no contact for 2 months besides one time when she messaged me about needing to block me so “we can both move on with our lives”. Is there any chance? 😔
I reached out after two weeks of no contact. He’s moved on and he’s on vacation with a new woman. 😞
His loss queen 😔
I unfollowed my ex many 3-4 months ago it was truly the only way I was going to get over her and started working on myself Iv noticed that she still follows me and watch’s my story’s does this mean anything or am I just falling back into that vicious cycle of thinking about her
dud sam here he still follows me and watches all my storis daily for a month after we broke up now this is confusing
I was the one who ended things and after 3 weeks of no contact, I called him and he didn’t answer.
What did you expect?
lol call again.. any update..?
@@RandomUserAct in the end, I realized I broke up with him for a good reason. When I commented, I was heartbroken because I didn’t want to break up with him but he really wasn’t treating me like he cared about me.. He did eventually reach out for my bday, but it was more for him to say he was being nice and not to clear or work anything out. I moved on since then and I am trying to live my best life.
@@BigFanOfJustice-31 if you broke up with him he’s expecting you more to reach out and make the effort to rekindle things…
I broke no contact after a month.my ex unfollowed me, and i texted him a heart-felt message of me accepting the break up and got no reply. Am broken, I feel I ruined everything. Please give me guidance
Did the same yesterday.. 45 days no contact… same results, and feels like I ruined it.
What if you were the toxic one in the relationship and even understand your exes decision. Is it worth fighting after the breakup? I am going to therapy now and really strive to be a better person which I know I can be.
Same boat!!
@@popsmoke3765 So you think that my ex will still primarily think of the good times and miss me anyways in due course?
@@Katy.98 yes I was toxic to her for years!!!! N she forgave me so many times. But I never changed but :( .. I most def think he will miss you and come around just stay in no contact, part of me wanted to make it work but after seeing these videos. I been in Gym focusing on my mental fitness and getting my money right & most importantly bettering myself as a man! So regardless I’m going to make someone happy!!
From my point of view: I blocked my ex because he was the toxic one. I needed a break because I knew he wouldn’t give it to me. However. If he wrote me a letter or knocked on my door explaining to me he was in therapy and how he was going to change the past with real action. I would slowly take him back. Love is love and doesn’t go away as quickly as some may think.
@@Grungeflutter I feel that would only work if it was a guy writing a letter or showing up to a woman’s house and not vice versa - what do you think?
My ex is already sleeping with someone else he just met like couple weeks ago in his trip to México, he actually texted me a month ago trying to "apologize" wich he didn't do he just said he still loved me, can't stoo thinking about me etc but i bet he was already sleeping with this chick...why?? I don't get it. I think he only texted me to let me know he was in México looking for his next victim and all that "i love you" crap was just bs to get some emotional validation. I think it's kinda lame that he's jumping into a relationship so fast, we broke un 2 months ago and a few weeks. Anyways. I'm just so disapointment.
I've seen you post about this man before. I'm so sorry but he sounds genuinely awful, with little empathy or impulse control. There is nothing further to understand except that he lacks character and morals. You deserve better
@@a.r.8954 Omg i'm so embarrased😔, i'm just going through a really hard time and i don't have many people to talk to so yt is basically my therapy place, as sad as that sounds. That's why i keep posting because i guess i'm having a hard time to make peace with this situation. I really thought he was the love of my life, it's been so hard to finally have the courage to see the truth and have the strengh to leave someone i loved with all my heart and wanted to spend ny life with. Thank you 🙏❤️i know i deserve at least some decent human being as my partner.
@@AS-on1fz Oh sweetie please don't be. I didn't mean to make you feel judged at all. I was a little harsh in my tone. I so understand what that feels like, I'm going through something similar myself, and I applaud your courage in reaching out for support and advice anywhere you feel safe. I wish you the best and I truly mean it that you deserve someone wonderful who sees your worth and treats you as you deserve!
@@a.r.8954 Oh no, i didn't felt you judge me 🙏 i just realized that it's true that i'm posting a lot but i'm aware it's part of the process, i need to let it out somehow. I'm sorry you are going through the same, it is a really tough experience and i wish you can get through it soon 🙏❤️. Thank you for your empathy and words of encouragement, it really means a lot to me. We can do this ❤️
@@AS-on1fz we are all on the same boat. So many of us just genuinely trying to find love, someone to share our journey with. I just don't understand sometimes how we could be done so dirty. My ex started sleeping with her boss while we were still together. I should have known because she kept talking about how nice he is to me when she started. He trained her and they spent a lot of time together. She even started giving him rides home which I told her wasn't professional. Anyway you are a beautiful woman and millions of men around the world would be lucky to be with you.
Don't meant to ask this again but So I acquired a decent rebound during NC and I'm good friends with one of my EXs good friends... Is it a good idea to flaunt my rebound here and there? Broken up for 3 weeks. To be clear I'm in love with my EX and want her back but could I get away with posting my rebound on a few Snapchat stories. I know it'll get back to her.
Honestly, that seems petty and immature. What are you hoping to gain from flauting the Rebound?
@@shawny979 yeah I can see where you are coming. I guess to just show her that I don't need her and I can actually get other girls and make her jealous but yeah you're probably right.
She’ll question whether you actually loved her, so no & it is petty, plus your using the rebound and that’s dirt ball territory
@@fiercemillionaireproject3824 I wouldn't take you back. You sound petty and immature.
You’ll push her away forever- she will see it as no respect for her and her feelings. You both love each other so be dignified.
I think it's working? I can tell she's looking for answers, but a part of me thinks she's just gonna move on and not come back. Whether ego or something else that's causing it
Dude, after 3 months in no contact I reach out to her, she ghost me, I'm back in no contact, do i still have any hope?
Not before you are moving on. They need to see others attracted to you.
How do you know she ghosted you ?
Nah bro lol. I waited a month and she dogged me out even worse. It’s like a whole different person haha. Move on. Someone has her attention 💯.
I broke no contact, and my ex is really cold with me. I feel so terrible. I screwed up.
We’re you the dumper?
@@Mingo-go-dum no he was
@@karinajames4367 I guess it’s time to move on
Best and fastest way to get an ex back (if she truly loves you), going out with another girl publicly, they'll come back running like chickens.
Not me
I definitely enjoy the personal experience story time. Brought lots of insight. Thank you! 🫶
It’s the 2nd Time she broke up with me . Both said mean things to each other and specially me cause I thought she cheated on me. Both of us cried when I left ( she told me to leave ) she lives. 4h away from me .
I went directly in NC without beggin etc …
After 10 days she reached out on WhatsApp.
„ send me your Address, so I can send you your Watch that you left here and I want to mention that I hope I don’t have to be scared of you and that you leave me in piece … ( last Time she broke up i did every mistakes someone could do.
But this Time …
She knows my Address very well and i did not contact her . i ignored her message.
so on friday she made an IG story ( i ignored ) and one day later she unfollowed me . Her Friends Husband still following ..
is she trying to trigger me ?
@shehumuhammad-lw4tf got not enaugh money for a coaching session 🥲
1. It’s almost impossible to meet him again somewhere.
2. We broke up on bad terms.
3. It’s no guarantee to look great even if I magically meet him somewhere
4. Meeting in a bar setting where I look super attractive dressed in impressive and probably revealing clothing, laughing along with my gf and men hitting on me would be a dream come true
My story - Please ready. It would mean the world to me if I could get some insights on what is the best I could do in this situation.
We were together for about three years. Officially only one year. 5 1/2 months ago she told me she didn't feel a spark for me anymore. She wasn't excited to see me. Even though she loved me, and was very important in her life (she said), she was not in love. She said maybe we could try to spend some time apart to see if her feelings came back. I asked if she thought they would come back and she said she didn't know. I asked her what was the reason for her losing feelings and she didn't know. I asked her if she wanted to breakup and she said that she really didn't know. All that was in person. I told her I didn't know what my decision was and that I would tell her later once I get home. I got home that night and texted her that even though I loved her a lot, I thought the best decision was to breakup, since she didn't feel anything for me. She agreed with it. Very early the day after she texted me saying she didn't agree and that maybe she was just still attached. I told "Ok" and that we would talk about it later that day. During the night I had soccer game and she called me for me to answer my phone. I answered and told her I would be home later. Once we talked, she told me she actually thought the breakup was the right decision. I told her I respected her decision and discussed how we would handle one-one encounters since we worked together. 5 days later I call her to ask her if she thought there was any chance of getting back together (dumb me for breaking no contact). She said she didn't know and seem to be doing pretty well. I then went no contact for 2 weeks and she texted me things about how she was doing at work. I took long to reply and was the one to end the conversation after about one hour. I then went into no contact again and she reached out about 3 days later saying something random. I replied the next day and she didn't say anything. That same day I sent her a video I found to be funny. She laughed and that was it. We then went no contact. Two weeks after I asked her out for lunch during which she seem to be a bit defensive and distracted with her phone. She seemed to be a bit resented because of the fact I had deleted our chat together (I told her this 5 days after our breakup). She texted me maybe twice after this and then Christmas and New Years Eve went by with no contact. and then I texted her about 10 days into January. I asked her out and we went for lunch. Even though she was reserved at first, I think we got to have a good time afterwards. Days after this (she also asked for help a few times through chat) I asked her if she wanted to go grab some drinks on Saturday night and she said she didn't want to go out that weekend and she had already rejected going out with her friends. I got a bit restless and didn't keep the conversation going naturally. The next morning I texted her telling her I didn't want to keep talking as I didn't want our conversations to interfere with new potential partners. A week or two after this, she texted me asking for help and since I took so long to reply, she apologized for reaching out, that she knew I wanted to move on and that that would not happen again. I then told her it was ok, that she could talk to me. She didn't reply. 3 days later I told her that she really could talk to me and that if she needed help I could help her. She didn't belive me and I said it was true. She asked me for some classes with something and we met that day (virtually) for about an hour. The day after she asked me a question about something else. She said "Thanks", I said "Anytime" and that was the last interaction we had 1 1/2 ago now (besides some random accidental bump-ins at works).
What could I do better in the future? What could I do if I want a second shot at the relationship? I feel bad because I proposed breaking up when she was initially asking for time apart.
Broke up with my girl, then begged her to reconsider, which she asked for space and which I broke the space & kept begging. Now she said it's over between us. Mehn what do I do? 🥲