Absolutely. There’s a misconception in much of Christianity that men are to love their wives but women are to respect their husbands… a good relationship with anyone requires both of those, not one or the other.
Bruh we dont even know how the situation unfolded. He mightve just said no bluntly instead of telling him yo im gonna pass i know myself i cant concentrate. I would avoid person#1 too
Did you know that you can go to Heaven for free? This one decision can change your life and eternity forever. You've heard that Jesus Christ died and rose from the dead - it means He paid the price for your sins so you can be forgiven, saved and have a personal relationship with your Creator. All you have to do is be willing in your mind to have your life and heart changed, believe in your heart that Jesus rose from the dead and follow/seek Him daily. Watch how the Holy Spirit moves in your life.. much love and God bless you!!
yes being a people pleaser isn't good but its also fine to do things for people without getting any benefit. that's what being a good person is - sometimes putting other people above you in the moment. i dont study well with others as well but i still study with my friend bc it helps him out. yeah i might be wasting time but that's all it is - time. time being spent with others or helping others isn't a waste. good video just putting it out there as i also struggle with being "selfish" vs "self-respect" and being a genuine and kind person/ good friend. challenging the way I think as sometimes I can fall into viewing friendships as transactional where i help you with this and you help me with that vs just helping others because i like to help people and that makes me happy
I like this way of thinking, I think there’s a thin line between helping others and disrespecting yourself. For example, it may help for someone to have a study partner before a big test, but if I’m wasting the time knowing I’m not benefiting, I sabotage my own grade to help somebody else (and this scenario may have many outcomes, it depends on the person). I do agree that in moderation, helping others is not disrespecting yourself.
@@Ronxhallthey don't like it because they burnt the dridge of them getting respect Because Abducted children SA women Mutilation of people Mering of people That's why they don't like you
When I was 16, I chose to live on the streets, trying to accomplish 2 things. I wanted to understand what it was like to be at absolute rock bottom, and I wanted to see if I could help people get out of it. I thought I was going to live like Jesus did. And while I learned more about human nature and psychology than any psychologist I've ever found online or in person.. I'm also dead broke, with no legitimate experience to put on paper, no college degree. I'm 29 now and I'm having to get a regular entry level job, where I will not be able to use my knowledge and skills. Thank goodness humans live so long these days. I might still have time to get a home and raise children before I'm 50
For the longest time I've been the biggest people pleaser. Always laughed with people when they made fun of me, always did things for people out of fear that they'd dislike me, etc. but no more. I'm 25 now and I've finally had enough of being a pushover. I'm yet to put my new mentality into practice, but I'm a new man, a better man, and people, no matter who they are, will learn to respect me before I respect them, because respect goes both ways, and I think that's the greatest respect one can have for themselves.
Did you know that you can go to Heaven for free? This one decision can change your life and eternity forever. You've heard that Jesus Christ died and rose from the dead - it means He paid the price for your sins so you can be forgiven, saved and have a personal relationship with your Creator. All you have to do is be willing in your mind to have your life and heart changed, believe in your heart that Jesus rose from the dead and follow/seek Him daily. Watch how the Holy Spirit moves in your life.. much love and God bless you!!
Yes, but I think he didnt differentiate enough. Like when a friend, who really struggles, asks me to study I would say yes. Not bc I want everyone to like me, but bc friends are there to help eachother. :) but if its a friend who doesnt struggle, just say no
I feel like loving yourself truly, is respecting yourself, they go hand and hand, you cannot disrespect yourself and still love yourself that makes zero sense
My mom said this too lol, I asked her if she ever questioned if I loved her and she said no. But she’s been vocal about me being disrespectful to her in the past. I think you can disrespect the people you love easily, even yourself.
@@Ronxhall I completely agree. Before this video I thought because I loved myself I obviously had to respect myself but I couldn’t understand why I wasn’t keeping my word to myself, staying up late etc and you’ve helped me find an explanation for it
@@justinAclark2075 I’m not disagreeing that they overlap. They overlap but only to an extent because you can definitely love yourself yet not fully respect yourself
I struggled with self respect all of high school, its only now until college im becoming myself. I used to be a sheep, following and pleasing everyone but now i realise i need to be my own person. Thank you, i really relate to this.
High school is one of the toughest places. It is one big popularity contest and kids are the nastiest to each other over the stupidest things. It is a tough place to be yourself and find who YOU are. It lovely to hear your are realizing who you are and becoming that person. Remember to stay kind.
To anyone who’s had that people pleaser past, you can use it as an advantage, if you start to respect yourself those little things for others can still be done while making yourself and the other person feel loved
The way I was labeled as prideful when I broke away from that people pleasing mindset .. at first I felt guilty but realized they think so only cz they benefited
^ This is so true, its all about phraseology and being tactful whilst setting your boundaries, I feel like you won’t burn bridges by saying no. There’s always going to be people who might not like you, but it really is avoidable, whilst still being respectful to yourself
You are wise. 27yo here, and I felt like I was respecting myself much more during college. Afterword I’ve been gradually returning to that, and this was very helpful to hear. We can justify ignoring the small things if we have larger priorities, but this was a reminder how the little things ARE the priority. 🙏🏾
Did you know that you can go to Heaven for free? This one decision can change your life and eternity forever. You've heard that Jesus Christ died and rose from the dead - it means He paid the price for your sins so you can be forgiven, saved and have a personal relationship with your Creator. All you have to do is be willing in your mind to have your life and heart changed, believe in your heart that Jesus rose from the dead and follow/seek Him daily. Watch how the Holy Spirit moves in your life.. much love and God bless you!!
the way this helped me so much to realise why people hated me the minute I started working on myself is insane, this provided me such clarity especially cause all my life I've been a people pleaser, thank u so much!
i really like your point on saying no to a friend so that you can study alone. this speaks to a deeper point about doing what's best for you regardless of how that will affect your standing with other people.
Comparison is the thief of Joy. God took His time with you. Creating “you”, you have impacted peoples lives in ways unimaginable even if they tell you or not. Remember that you matter and that if you do good, people will talk bad. If you do bad people will talk worse. You can’t please everyone and you don’t have to! Keep going and I’m proud of you. Live this life at your own pace. It’s a marathon not a race :) GOD BLESS UU ALLLLLLLL
We begin to slowly chip away at the self trust and discipline we have within ourselves when we don’t do the things we know we should do. Which only lessens our confidence in the future that we will do what we need to and actually respect ourselves. Extremely important to reverse it as much as possible, we deserve to be our first priority
Nice Video. My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love him so much I can't stop thinking about him, l've tried my very best to get him back in my life, but to no avail, I'm frustrated, I don't see my life as anyone else. I've done my best to get rid of the thoughts of him, but I can't, I don't know why I'm saying this here, I really miss him and just can't stop thinking about him.
I have been in such a situation. My relationship ended about two years ago, but I could not let him go, so I had to do all I could to get him back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual adviser who helped me bring him back, now we are back together, and I must say I am enjoying every moment...
I agree with overall message, it’s always important to respect one’s self. I personally feel like pointing out flaws in yourself shouldn’t be seen as disrespectful to self but helpful feedback.
Power to you, young man! I am 32 years old. It is truly refreshing seeing someone of your generation with these thought patterns. May God continue to bless and keep you, you are on your way.
I don't care who doesn't like me. I have found that those who dislike me are the ones who 1) need to be the center of attention (I refuse to play into that game) 2) are the Queen of Hearts (all ways are their ways) 3) have no self esteem, so push their insecurities onto others (others are the ones spoiling a good time or causing 'trouble' by not going along with the group or crowd). All that ties into boundaries and being true to who you are, not what others want you to be.
People dislike a person that respects themselves. It's because they wish they had the same strength to be who they are as you. It's more like having envy than hating you, everyone wants to be happy so we are looking at each other for answers but what we keeping forgetting is that we are all still in the same boat so we really can't go to each other for a definitive answer, nun of us are Gods. The internet & social media fooled the generations into thinking any of it actually matters, all the advice, expectations, activities you don't have to do. It didn't matter in the end and the only thing that did is what you did for yourself. It's sounds selfish but it's having respect for your own life and time on this earth, you wasn't born to satisfy everyone's expectations, be bigger than that. Your life is more important than a few likes on the internet, it's not real nun of it is. The likes, comments, drama, it's all engagement, nun of it actually reflects reality 1:1 so it doesn't matter but people try to make it as if it is. The internet will never be reality, grow up and be who you are
As a former people pleaser I can assure you that even if you do everything you can to please them, they're still gonna be mad about the slightest things and most of the time they'll just ignore your efforts. Thank you for this video! I realised I've been disrespecting myself a lot from all these years. "If you don't respect yourself then the other person is not going to respect you either" true words.
you really hit it on the head by mentioning that it's in the little things-- all those little things do really add up to depreciation. staying up late when you know you should be resting, the studying with a friend when you know you actually won't get things done, the various forms of people pleasing is so true. Going to hang out just to accompany a friend, and prioritizing them over the things you have/want todo. You see this prob in drinking and smoking too, you may be ready to let go of old motions like getting high or drinking w your friends, but once the moment arises you betray all the thoughts you had to let it go just to be with the vibes. It's really hard to really say no, making other people happy really seems/feels like an addiction that never pays. I had an opposite journey, i was super about boundaries and saying no to anything that didn't serve me and everyone thought I was a dick (I still cared for people). But nontheless this video is right--people won't like you when you don't agree to their offers, advancements, asks. I'm vegan and rejecting others on various food situations always upsets people. All this "upsetting people" really made me feel terrible like maybe I was really a bad guy, so much that I thought my boundaries and no's maybe were toxic, so much that I bent all my rules and began to say yes to everything. I'm slowly making my way back to my old self, but maybe a middle ground. There is a balance to living, saying no, and making a compromise for others that serve you both or even just them if you can afford that.
What I find really relates to this is the idea that people pleasers do for others what they want others to do for them or what needs the people pleaser is lacking in their own fulfilment. In reality there’s no guarantee that someone in your life is going to be able to fulfil whatever it is you’re lacking and frankly they don’t owe it to you because you’re there for them. We do nice things for eachother because we have the capacity to care for people outside of us and some of us tie our entire identities to it whether that be for survival, wanting to belong or just not grasping who you are.
My biggest act of self-respect was cutting all contact with my ex. He broke up with me and told me he would try dating me again after I healed myself more. Fast forward: we reconnected but he decided he didn't want to commit to me because he wanted to focus on his career and find himself. Travel back: turns out he actually slept with someone new 1-2 weeks after he broke up with me the first time. This felt like deep betrayal and even though there's still some love there, I don't think I could ever trust him ever again. And being in a relationship with someone you don't trust is not self-respect.
At first i was trying to be friends with everyone. It felt weird, like i was compelled to do so. Saying hi to anyone and everyone. Got close to some people who i discovered never really considered me their friend and treated me bad when i was in a tough time and had a mental breakdown in front of them. Figured out that out of my 5 colleagues, only 1 was a true friend who really cared about me. Now I don’t say hi or approach anyone who i know wouldn’t say hi to me otherwise, its not worth it being around people who use up your emotional energy and don’t appreciate you. That’s my advice. Being a people pleaser/altruistic isn’t bad, being so for the wrong people who don’t appreciate you is what’s bad. Don’t try to make things better with these people because they don’t care about you and you’ll only use up your energy on nothing. Avoidance of negativity is key. Stick with your real friends is what my true friend td me. And you should too.
You can still say hi to everyone lol. You don't have to be so reserved and cut off from everyone. The thing is don't give out to much energy. For example, say hi and keep walking that's it. That doesn't make you a people pleaser. What makes you a people pleaser is putting energy into the wrong people and constantly engaging in authentic way. You can speak to everyone but only engage with certain people. Set boundaries with the right ones and you will be ok
in addition to self respect we must also be mindful of self compassion and self acceptance. just because you dont do exactly what you set out to do that day or your willpower ran out doesnt mean you dont respect yourself, it means youre human and youre allowed to live your life and give in to desires sometimes. we shouldnt strive for perfection or being too serious in life. sometimes its better for your mental health to go to that party instead of study, sometimes its okay to numb your emotions when youre overwhelmed instead of doing something healthy. youre allowed to be flawed, not everything has to be about self respect. thats putting a lot of pressure on yourself to always make the 'right' decision. self respect is about self compassion and the acceptance that goes along with admitting that were all human, life is short, we all make mistakes and give in to desires or impulses and that completely okay.
Respecting yourself and valuing yourself literally means losing many people and being alone, unfortunately choosing your peace of mind comes with pain but choosing yourself will always be the right decision
Always show up for yourself! Always! The thing I've heard the most in my life was that I'm stubborn and I can't just let things go. I'm fine with that because I go to bed knowing I respected myself and loved myself enough to use the word "no".
Now I understad why I wasn´t being able to just "love myself"... there was something much more crucial underneath that. It really is impossible to love what you don`t respect, and to this day I never took the time to actually put that simple conclusion into words. Thank you very much for this video; this mindset is key, and should definetly be talked about more :)
This conversation is so timely and I'm happily resonating with it. I recently moved to an apartment and i have been settling in pretty well. This evening some girl approached me and without introducing herself even, she told me that she is irritated that i don't talk to her yet she is my immediate neighbor. Her breath was filled with alcohol. She told me that she didn't appreciate that she came knocking and i didn't get the door. I began explaining myself until I decided it was time to respect myself and set the boundaries. She then proceeded to touch me without my consent, yuck! She called her twin sister to say hello and they immediately offered me alcohol without asking if i drink or not. Girls who drink or smoke marijuana have every right to do it but it is a deal breaker to me. She is also dating an old guy and that dynamic doesn't usually sit well with me. It's screams unhealed daddy issues. I realized that all the young people are situated on one side and they bond over alcohol and weed. The place is always chaotic on weekends. Respect enables me to know that she will not dictate how i live. Those people who can be accessed by anyone get irritated when we who are inaccessible to unhealthy dynamics don't fuck with them. I am aware of the danger that comes with people of her kind and i don't want chaos in my life. Self respect is about setting boundaries and being ready for the consequences that come with it. It looks like choosing peace. Choosing one friend who is real, loving and healthy for me as opposed to 50 people who aren't good for me, with me and to me. I want to be very successful and that starts with me respecting myself. As a matter of fact, I want to go to uni for my undergraduate and i don't have the time or energy for alcohol, drugs and time wasters. My IQ is quite high and i will never shrink myself to please another person with small talk. Abig, abev, abububu( iykyk)😂 and I am going places❤🚀 New sub here❤
I think it’s all correct, its about being yourself and allowing yourself to embrace your true nature or who you really are or want to be, not for other people but for yourself And to take care of yourself, know your priorities which is you, and treat yourself as if you treat a dear friend As long as you remain a good person with good intentions like the video says, go for it
I’d say throughout my high school life, from y8-10 my self respect was at an all time low. Everything I did was for people around me and it can seriously turn you into a horrible person. I became two faced and my closeness with God just felt lost. Honestly in y11 I’ve lost so many people but I’m so happy. I respect myself but that always comes with a cost. It always will. It will be for something way better though and as long as you walk into collage/school/work with a good heart you are a good person. Don’t get stuck in the past
when you make visible improvements in your life the people around you will unknowingly out themselves how they see you - the people (secretly) disliking you will make fun of you/try to bring you down/minimize your accomplishments - the people who support you will in turn support your decisions - the people who are indifferent will generally not even react(this one can hit the hardest because they're less obvious than the other two and can include people you care about, which means it was a onesided relationship the whole time)
3:22 i really needed to hear that… Thanks so much for sharing this message! Discipline and consistency when it comes to achieving personal goals is the highest form of self respect fr
Am actually in this phase of transmitting from a people pleaser to an actually honest and straight forward person...... Highly appreciated fam🙏 Love this. I must respect myself
My boxing coach used to say “in a fight you gotta make him respect you“. It meant that there were consequences for your opponents actions. If your opponent punched you, you punched back. But if instead you just stood there and took the punches. He’s not gonna respect you and he can just do whatever he wants to you. Likewise in real life if you just stand there and take it, you were disrespecting yourself and there are no consequences for other peoples poor behavior. They'll learn they can treat you badly and there's no consequences.
Ooh the intro message really resonated ❗️ There is always going to be someone upset with you, even if it's just for you existing.... sooo you might as well just do what you want. Thanks for sharing your message!
I never really thought about it like that”priorities.” I always thought I loved God, yet I never read my Bible and put off praying to Him. This video changed my view on that because (and honestly idk how I didn’t realize this before) I see that I’m not putting God first and as a priority. Thank you for the advice!
They say it takes respect to get respect, right? So why not start with yourself? How can we expect others to respect our space, our boundaries, our hearts if we don't respect it ourselves first? Thank you for this, Ron. Definitely what I needed going into this week.
I just wrote a long diary entry about this yesterday because I felt fake, even around my friends. I feel like most of the times I don't say or do what I really want to not be perceived as a rudeor unfriendly person. I do want everybody to like me. But I hate not feeling my authentic self. Like I have tk pretend to be someone else to be liked. Specially since I am an introvert and we are automatically seen as unfriendly and the outgoing people, talkative ones are seen as good and fun. I've always felt like there was something wrong with me for not being able to make friends easily, talk with any relatives who come at home and make them comfortable like my sister does. But I've had enough. I want to be myself. Speak my mind. And be ok with not being liked for doing so. I have to learn to accept myself and respect myself like you said. And be comfortable with being me. Not wanting to change myself or having to pretend in order to be liked. Fuck that shit!
I've had to live on my own for a long time now. I can't study with anyone because I end up not doing enough work as I would have done alone. I've stayed away from people who decided to try crossing my boundaries severally and almost it looks like everyone is upset with me. But, I don't have any care to give😂 I've achieved more respecting myself than pleasing people!!❤
So young and wise, at first i didnt understand but then it led me back to the verse that states, love others as yourself If i dont respect myself then i dont respect others....very good point.
I dont usually comment on videos but what you said really stuck with me. The examples you gave really hit a bullet and now that I think about it, it does make sense. Thank you for making this video. Im commenting to boost it too cause people deserve to watch this and respect themselves!
thank youu, i've been wondering if i've been pleasing people lately but no i always have known within myself that i only come close to people i like and i show myself for them and for me
Damn. Really enlightening, I’m trying to move into a career that’s heavily male dominated (very few females) and the way I keep second guessing myself is really disheartening. I’ve been reconstructing my thought process. Nice reminder to respect our self the way weed respect anyone else and to have grace. Thank you for the video!
Wow!!! That's why I tolerate lot of shit of others and my own habits. And accepting myself keep me grounded but not out of bad space. Respecting self is most basic.
Thank you. Been thinking of this. I know I live myself but I behave so funny at times. So i knew it wasn’t about love. This just sums it up. I need to build up my self respect
I have so much love for myself and for others. I know myself, and I'm confident within myself. But I always receive hate back. I never quite understood it and still kind of don't. But after this video, it made me a little better.
Exactly! They’re trying to paint me as the villain because I decided to walk away. Sometimes I was extremely petty about the exit, but that’s entirely human. 🤷🏽♀️ I don’t care who hates me. Who are you to me? My happiness over everything and if you cannot respect my “No,” then you do not respect me or my autonomy. The energy of entitlement is STINKY!! 👃🏽👃🏽👃🏽🤢🤢🤢
2nd perspective, you can grow as a person, respecting yourself to learn with others while controlling your urge to procrastinate. to each their own tho, you could lose business partnerships by not being friendly.
i appreciate this video honestly had always joined the concept of self love and self respect into one, but now i can see how they are actually two separate units, and bring out different outcomes or behaviors thank you
I’ve learned to never trust or surround myself with people who proclaim to everybody’s friend , hang out with multiple conflicting friend groups, or brag about how they get along with any and everyone. That person is definitely self sacrificing or playing a role that they aren’t to fit in all these spaces. Truth is that if you’re being yourself and standing in who you are assertively, you’ll find that you won’t fit into many friend groups or social environments, it’ll be harder to find your people
I don't think its called disrespecting yourself i believe its called lacking boundaries and standards. When you prioritize you , your time, your attention, and excute boundaries everyone around you will then respect you.
I feel like as soon as we start disrespecting ourselves all hell breaks lose, What can go wrong, does go wrong. And that's simply a consequence of not putting ourselves first.. Though topic to explain, yet you managed to break it down in a simple and inspiring way! great video bro
God put this video in my recommended at the right time tonight! This video helped me a lot to realize I wasn’t the only one going through this. Thank you so much!
4:35 leaving this here for when I return on *09/12/2039*
🔥
with the way time flies, 2039 will be here before we know it!
Remind me too
Amen
deadass i'll remind you
To me once a person said: "Without respect there can not be real love. Respect always comes before love."
Some say that thats why the enemies to lovers trope got so popular, cause a lover might love and adore you but a good enemy always respects you
Respect is Love in action.
In other words disrespect is loving passively at best.
Absolutely. There’s a misconception in much of Christianity that men are to love their wives but women are to respect their husbands… a good relationship with anyone requires both of those, not one or the other.
I wouldn’t say before but “ with “. Cause the two are inseparable there is no love without respect and no respect without love
I ended my 2 year relationship because I didn't see any respect and said blocked bye 👋
Ppl who get upset with your boundaries don't belong in your life. They're parasites. Good for you! It took me many years to learn this!
Bruh we dont even know how the situation unfolded. He mightve just said no bluntly instead of telling him yo im gonna pass i know myself i cant concentrate. I would avoid person#1 too
@@G73Serverthats exactly what I was thinking.
*facts*
Did you know that you can go to Heaven for free? This one decision can change your life and eternity forever. You've heard that Jesus Christ died and rose from the dead - it means He paid the price for your sins so you can be forgiven, saved and have a personal relationship with your Creator. All you have to do is be willing in your mind to have your life and heart changed, believe in your heart that Jesus rose from the dead and follow/seek Him daily. Watch how the Holy Spirit moves in your life.. much love and God bless you!!
yes being a people pleaser isn't good but its also fine to do things for people without getting any benefit.
that's what being a good person is - sometimes putting other people above you in the moment. i dont study well with others as well but i still study with my friend bc it helps him out.
yeah i might be wasting time but that's all it is - time. time being spent with others or helping others isn't a waste.
good video just putting it out there as i also struggle with being "selfish" vs "self-respect" and being a genuine and kind person/ good friend.
challenging the way I think as sometimes I can fall into viewing friendships as transactional where i help you with this and you help me with that vs just helping others because i like to help people and that makes me happy
I like this way of thinking, I think there’s a thin line between helping others and disrespecting yourself. For example, it may help for someone to have a study partner before a big test, but if I’m wasting the time knowing I’m not benefiting, I sabotage my own grade to help somebody else (and this scenario may have many outcomes, it depends on the person). I do agree that in moderation, helping others is not disrespecting yourself.
@@Ronxhall yeah I agree. with everything moderation is key but I find moderation itself is hard
@@Ronxhallthey don't like it because they burnt the dridge of them getting respect
Because Abducted children
SA women
Mutilation of people
Mering of people
That's why they don't like you
When I was 16, I chose to live on the streets, trying to accomplish 2 things. I wanted to understand what it was like to be at absolute rock bottom, and I wanted to see if I could help people get out of it. I thought I was going to live like Jesus did. And while I learned more about human nature and psychology than any psychologist I've ever found online or in person.. I'm also dead broke, with no legitimate experience to put on paper, no college degree. I'm 29 now and I'm having to get a regular entry level job, where I will not be able to use my knowledge and skills. Thank goodness humans live so long these days. I might still have time to get a home and raise children before I'm 50
Friends aren't transactional but they are reciprocal.
People hate when you choose you over them 🤷🏼♂️
For the longest time I've been the biggest people pleaser. Always laughed with people when they made fun of me, always did things for people out of fear that they'd dislike me, etc. but no more. I'm 25 now and I've finally had enough of being a pushover. I'm yet to put my new mentality into practice, but I'm a new man, a better man, and people, no matter who they are, will learn to respect me before I respect them, because respect goes both ways, and I think that's the greatest respect one can have for themselves.
Amen amen 👏🏾👏🏾
You said you hadn't put that mentality into practice. It's been 3 weeks. Have you had a chance to do so yet? How did it go?
Did you know that you can go to Heaven for free? This one decision can change your life and eternity forever. You've heard that Jesus Christ died and rose from the dead - it means He paid the price for your sins so you can be forgiven, saved and have a personal relationship with your Creator. All you have to do is be willing in your mind to have your life and heart changed, believe in your heart that Jesus rose from the dead and follow/seek Him daily. Watch how the Holy Spirit moves in your life.. much love and God bless you!!
Yes, but I think he didnt differentiate enough. Like when a friend, who really struggles, asks me to study I would say yes. Not bc I want everyone to like me, but bc friends are there to help eachother. :) but if its a friend who doesnt struggle, just say no
Facts brother. The minute I started sticking up for myself, people started getting mad at me.
And that’s the crazy thing about it all why tho is the real question it’s sad bro
I feel like loving yourself truly, is respecting yourself, they go hand and hand, you cannot disrespect yourself and still love yourself that makes zero sense
My mom said this too lol, I asked her if she ever questioned if I loved her and she said no. But she’s been vocal about me being disrespectful to her in the past. I think you can disrespect the people you love easily, even yourself.
@@Ronxhall I completely agree. Before this video I thought because I loved myself I obviously had to respect myself but I couldn’t understand why I wasn’t keeping my word to myself, staying up late etc and you’ve helped me find an explanation for it
I disagree wholeheartedly. I absolutely believe that love and respect are two entirely separate things, but that they often overlap.
@@justinAclark2075 I’m not disagreeing that they overlap. They overlap but only to an extent because you can definitely love yourself yet not fully respect yourself
@@justinAclark2075 you can’t disagree ‘wholeheartedly’ but then agree with half of what I’m saying lol
I struggled with self respect all of high school, its only now until college im becoming myself. I used to be a sheep, following and pleasing everyone but now i realise i need to be my own person. Thank you, i really relate to this.
High school is one of the toughest places. It is one big popularity contest and kids are the nastiest to each other over the stupidest things. It is a tough place to be yourself and find who YOU are. It lovely to hear your are realizing who you are and becoming that person. Remember to stay kind.
To anyone who’s had that people pleaser past, you can use it as an advantage, if you start to respect yourself those little things for others can still be done while making yourself and the other person feel loved
The way I was labeled as prideful when I broke away from that people pleasing mindset .. at first I felt guilty but realized they think so only cz they benefited
@@SibesoGraceImutulo-bf4zvreal
^ This is so true, its all about phraseology and being tactful whilst setting your boundaries, I feel like you won’t burn bridges by saying no. There’s always going to be people who might not like you, but it really is avoidable, whilst still being respectful to yourself
This guy is criminally good looking
You are wise. 27yo here, and I felt like I was respecting myself much more during college. Afterword I’ve been gradually returning to that, and this was very helpful to hear. We can justify ignoring the small things if we have larger priorities, but this was a reminder how the little things ARE the priority. 🙏🏾
bro woke up and chose to spit facts>>>>>>
🙏🙏
Did you know that you can go to Heaven for free? This one decision can change your life and eternity forever. You've heard that Jesus Christ died and rose from the dead - it means He paid the price for your sins so you can be forgiven, saved and have a personal relationship with your Creator. All you have to do is be willing in your mind to have your life and heart changed, believe in your heart that Jesus rose from the dead and follow/seek Him daily. Watch how the Holy Spirit moves in your life.. much love and God bless you!!
@@jesusisking3814 thanks, God bless you too
the way this helped me so much to realise why people hated me the minute I started working on myself is insane, this provided me such clarity especially cause all my life I've been a people pleaser, thank u so much!
i really like your point on saying no to a friend so that you can study alone. this speaks to a deeper point about doing what's best for you regardless of how that will affect your standing with other people.
Comparison is the thief of Joy. God took His time with you. Creating “you”, you have impacted peoples lives in ways unimaginable even if they tell you or not. Remember that you matter and that if you do good, people will talk bad. If you do bad people will talk worse. You can’t please everyone and you don’t have to! Keep going and I’m proud of you. Live this life at your own pace. It’s a marathon not a race :) GOD BLESS UU ALLLLLLLL
Amen.
Amen 🙏
So true!! Amen 🙏🏼
@@sz8oe All Glory to God bruddah
Amen 🙏.
You can only love yourself when you respect yourself first. Same as with other people, it’s impossible to love someone if you don’t respect them.
We begin to slowly chip away at the self trust and discipline we have within ourselves when we don’t do the things we know we should do. Which only lessens our confidence in the future that we will do what we need to and actually respect ourselves. Extremely important to reverse it as much as possible, we deserve to be our first priority
3:56 is insane bro. Such a different way to put it into words, such a good way to explain it so briefly.
Nice Video. My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love him so much I can't stop thinking about him, l've tried my very best to get him back in my life, but to no avail, I'm frustrated, I don't see my life as anyone else. I've done my best to get rid of the thoughts of him, but I can't, I don't know why I'm saying this here, I really miss him and just can't stop thinking about him.
I have been in such a situation. My relationship ended about two years ago, but I could not let him go, so I had to do all I could to get him back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual adviser who helped me bring him back, now we are back together, and I must say I am enjoying every moment...
Amazing! How did you find a spiritual counselor, and how can I contact them?
His name is Fatherabulu, and he is a great spiritual counselor who can help restore your relationship with your ex.
Thanks for sharing this valuable information. I just looked him up online and I'm impressed.
I agree with overall message, it’s always important to respect one’s self. I personally feel like pointing out flaws in yourself shouldn’t be seen as disrespectful to self but helpful feedback.
Power to you, young man! I am 32 years old. It is truly refreshing seeing someone of your generation with these thought patterns. May God continue to bless and keep you, you are on your way.
Love this.
Also respect oneself enough to only set goals that are GENUINE.
Not someone elses ideas of success.
Hanssome young man very wise! Allowing yourself to just rest in quiet for a while every day is respecting yourself as well.
i love how this video showed up when i needed to see it alhamdullilah
Starting right now, I’m gonna start respecting myself and take no disrespect from anybody
Respect yourself. You are worthy of respect, but it needs to come from you first.
I don't care who doesn't like me. I have found that those who dislike me are the ones who 1) need to be the center of attention (I refuse to play into that game) 2) are the Queen of Hearts (all ways are their ways) 3) have no self esteem, so push their insecurities onto others (others are the ones spoiling a good time or causing 'trouble' by not going along with the group or crowd). All that ties into boundaries and being true to who you are, not what others want you to be.
People dislike a person that respects themselves. It's because they wish they had the same strength to be who they are as you. It's more like having envy than hating you, everyone wants to be happy so we are looking at each other for answers but what we keeping forgetting is that we are all still in the same boat so we really can't go to each other for a definitive answer, nun of us are Gods. The internet & social media fooled the generations into thinking any of it actually matters, all the advice, expectations, activities you don't have to do. It didn't matter in the end and the only thing that did is what you did for yourself. It's sounds selfish but it's having respect for your own life and time on this earth, you wasn't born to satisfy everyone's expectations, be bigger than that. Your life is more important than a few likes on the internet, it's not real nun of it is. The likes, comments, drama, it's all engagement, nun of it actually reflects reality 1:1 so it doesn't matter but people try to make it as if it is. The internet will never be reality, grow up and be who you are
You would keep your commitments to someone else, why wouldn’t you do that for yourself? Exactly. So simple but so powerful. This came ON TIME!
As a former people pleaser I can assure you that even if you do everything you can to please them, they're still gonna be mad about the slightest things and most of the time they'll just ignore your efforts.
Thank you for this video! I realised I've been disrespecting myself a lot from all these years. "If you don't respect yourself then the other person is not going to respect you either" true words.
you really hit it on the head by mentioning that it's in the little things-- all those little things do really add up to depreciation. staying up late when you know you should be resting, the studying with a friend when you know you actually won't get things done, the various forms of people pleasing is so true. Going to hang out just to accompany a friend, and prioritizing them over the things you have/want todo. You see this prob in drinking and smoking too, you may be ready to let go of old motions like getting high or drinking w your friends, but once the moment arises you betray all the thoughts you had to let it go just to be with the vibes. It's really hard to really say no, making other people happy really seems/feels like an addiction that never pays.
I had an opposite journey, i was super about boundaries and saying no to anything that didn't serve me and everyone thought I was a dick (I still cared for people). But nontheless this video is right--people won't like you when you don't agree to their offers, advancements, asks. I'm vegan and rejecting others on various food situations always upsets people. All this "upsetting people" really made me feel terrible like maybe I was really a bad guy, so much that I thought my boundaries and no's maybe were toxic, so much that I bent all my rules and began to say yes to everything.
I'm slowly making my way back to my old self, but maybe a middle ground. There is a balance to living, saying no, and making a compromise for others that serve you both or even just them if you can afford that.
You’ve earned yourself a subscriber!!🤭
Love the idea of self worth vs self confidence. They are very different and both essential.
What I find really relates to this is the idea that people pleasers do for others what they want others to do for them or what needs the people pleaser is lacking in their own fulfilment. In reality there’s no guarantee that someone in your life is going to be able to fulfil whatever it is you’re lacking and frankly they don’t owe it to you because you’re there for them. We do nice things for eachother because we have the capacity to care for people outside of us and some of us tie our entire identities to it whether that be for survival, wanting to belong or just not grasping who you are.
My biggest act of self-respect was cutting all contact with my ex. He broke up with me and told me he would try dating me again after I healed myself more. Fast forward: we reconnected but he decided he didn't want to commit to me because he wanted to focus on his career and find himself. Travel back: turns out he actually slept with someone new 1-2 weeks after he broke up with me the first time. This felt like deep betrayal and even though there's still some love there, I don't think I could ever trust him ever again. And being in a relationship with someone you don't trust is not self-respect.
So true ❤ being with someone we don’t trust is not self-respect
At first i was trying to be friends with everyone. It felt weird, like i was compelled to do so. Saying hi to anyone and everyone. Got close to some people who i discovered never really considered me their friend and treated me bad when i was in a tough time and had a mental breakdown in front of them. Figured out that out of my 5 colleagues, only 1 was a true friend who really cared about me. Now I don’t say hi or approach anyone who i know wouldn’t say hi to me otherwise, its not worth it being around people who use up your emotional energy and don’t appreciate you. That’s my advice. Being a people pleaser/altruistic isn’t bad, being so for the wrong people who don’t appreciate you is what’s bad. Don’t try to make things better with these people because they don’t care about you and you’ll only use up your energy on nothing. Avoidance of negativity is key. Stick with your real friends is what my true friend td me. And you should too.
You can still say hi to everyone lol. You don't have to be so reserved and cut off from everyone. The thing is don't give out to much energy. For example, say hi and keep walking that's it. That doesn't make you a people pleaser. What makes you a people pleaser is putting energy into the wrong people and constantly engaging in authentic way. You can speak to everyone but only engage with certain people. Set boundaries with the right ones and you will be ok
This video showed up randomly on my main page on yt which is crazy cause I feel like I needed to hear what you said. Thank you and keep going brother🙏
in addition to self respect we must also be mindful of self compassion and self acceptance. just because you dont do exactly what you set out to do that day or your willpower ran out doesnt mean you dont respect yourself, it means youre human and youre allowed to live your life and give in to desires sometimes. we shouldnt strive for perfection or being too serious in life. sometimes its better for your mental health to go to that party instead of study, sometimes its okay to numb your emotions when youre overwhelmed instead of doing something healthy. youre allowed to be flawed, not everything has to be about self respect. thats putting a lot of pressure on yourself to always make the 'right' decision. self respect is about self compassion and the acceptance that goes along with admitting that were all human, life is short, we all make mistakes and give in to desires or impulses and that completely okay.
This is a new POV, thanks to this video I'm able to figure out why I'm mentally tired just interacting with people.
don't stop brother you will win
❤️
Respecting yourself and valuing yourself literally means losing many people and being alone, unfortunately choosing your peace of mind comes with pain but choosing yourself will always be the right decision
Always show up for yourself! Always! The thing I've heard the most in my life was that I'm stubborn and I can't just let things go. I'm fine with that because I go to bed knowing I respected myself and loved myself enough to use the word "no".
Now I understad why I wasn´t being able to just "love myself"... there was something much more crucial underneath that. It really is impossible to love what you don`t respect, and to this day I never took the time to actually put that simple conclusion into words.
Thank you very much for this video; this mindset is key, and should definetly be talked about more :)
Respecting yourself is a form of self-love!
This conversation is so timely and I'm happily resonating with it.
I recently moved to an apartment and i have been settling in pretty well.
This evening some girl approached me and without introducing herself even, she told me that she is irritated that i don't talk to her yet she is my immediate neighbor. Her breath was filled with alcohol.
She told me that she didn't appreciate that she came knocking and i didn't get the door. I began explaining myself until I decided it was time to respect myself and set the boundaries.
She then proceeded to touch me without my consent, yuck! She called her twin sister to say hello and they immediately offered me alcohol without asking if i drink or not.
Girls who drink or smoke marijuana have every right to do it but it is a deal breaker to me. She is also dating an old guy and that dynamic doesn't usually sit well with me. It's screams unhealed daddy issues.
I realized that all the young people are situated on one side and they bond over alcohol and weed. The place is always chaotic on weekends.
Respect enables me to know that she will not dictate how i live. Those people who can be accessed by anyone get irritated when we who are inaccessible to unhealthy dynamics don't fuck with them.
I am aware of the danger that comes with people of her kind and i don't want chaos in my life.
Self respect is about setting boundaries and being ready for the consequences that come with it. It looks like choosing peace. Choosing one friend who is real, loving and healthy for me as opposed to 50 people who aren't good for me, with me and to me.
I want to be very successful and that starts with me respecting myself. As a matter of fact, I want to go to uni for my undergraduate and i don't have the time or energy for alcohol, drugs and time wasters.
My IQ is quite high and i will never shrink myself to please another person with small talk.
Abig, abev, abububu( iykyk)😂 and I am going places❤🚀
New sub here❤
I think it’s all correct, its about being yourself and allowing yourself to embrace your true nature or who you really are or want to be, not for other people but for yourself
And to take care of yourself, know your priorities which is you, and treat yourself as if you treat a dear friend
As long as you remain a good person with good intentions like the video says, go for it
I’d say throughout my high school life, from y8-10 my self respect was at an all time low. Everything I did was for people around me and it can seriously turn you into a horrible person. I became two faced and my closeness with God just felt lost. Honestly in y11 I’ve lost so many people but I’m so happy. I respect myself but that always comes with a cost. It always will. It will be for something way better though and as long as you walk into collage/school/work with a good heart you are a good person. Don’t get stuck in the past
when you make visible improvements in your life the people around you will unknowingly out themselves how they see you
- the people (secretly) disliking you will make fun of you/try to bring you down/minimize your accomplishments
- the people who support you will in turn support your decisions
- the people who are indifferent will generally not even react(this one can hit the hardest because they're less obvious than the other two and can include people you care about, which means it was a onesided relationship the whole time)
3:22 i really needed to hear that…
Thanks so much for sharing this message! Discipline and consistency when it comes to achieving personal goals is the highest form of self respect fr
what a beautiful and unique perspective on self-worth and discipline
- I tell myself this a lot, but I needed to hear it from someone else too. Thank you!
Am actually in this phase of transmitting from a people pleaser to an actually honest and straight forward person......
Highly appreciated fam🙏
Love this. I must respect myself
you dont understand how perfect the timing was for this to be on my screen. God bless you 💗💗
Yeeeeees! A word right on time!
Same
I agree.
Perfect timing.
My boxing coach used to say “in a fight you gotta make him respect you“. It meant that there were consequences for your opponents actions. If your opponent punched you, you punched back. But if instead you just stood there and took the punches. He’s not gonna respect you and he can just do whatever he wants to you. Likewise in real life if you just stand there and take it, you were disrespecting yourself and there are no consequences for other peoples poor behavior. They'll learn they can treat you badly and there's no consequences.
Oh damn. You have a strong mind for real. Pushing those ones who disrespect your boundaries aside to get some productive work done.
Ooh the intro message really resonated ❗️ There is always going to be someone upset with you, even if it's just for you existing.... sooo you might as well just do what you want. Thanks for sharing your message!
❤️
*Every family has a person who breaks the chian of poverty in their house I pray you become that one and be a successful in life 🙏*
I'm 37 and have been looking for ways to be successful, please how???
Sure, the investment-advisor that guides me is..
Cathie Wood
Her services is the best, I got a brand new Lambo last week and paid off my mortgage loan thanks to her wonderful services!🥰
Wow wow please is there any way to reach there services, I work 3 jobs and trying to pay off my students loan for a while now!! Please help me
I never really thought about it like that”priorities.” I always thought I loved God, yet I never read my Bible and put off praying to Him. This video changed my view on that because (and honestly idk how I didn’t realize this before) I see that I’m not putting God first and as a priority. Thank you for the advice!
They say it takes respect to get respect, right? So why not start with yourself? How can we expect others to respect our space, our boundaries, our hearts if we don't respect it ourselves first? Thank you for this, Ron. Definitely what I needed going into this week.
I just wrote a long diary entry about this yesterday because I felt fake, even around my friends. I feel like most of the times I don't say or do what I really want to not be perceived as a rudeor unfriendly person. I do want everybody to like me. But I hate not feeling my authentic self. Like I have tk pretend to be someone else to be liked. Specially since I am an introvert and we are automatically seen as unfriendly and the outgoing people, talkative ones are seen as good and fun. I've always felt like there was something wrong with me for not being able to make friends easily, talk with any relatives who come at home and make them comfortable like my sister does.
But I've had enough. I want to be myself. Speak my mind. And be ok with not being liked for doing so. I have to learn to accept myself and respect myself like you said. And be comfortable with being me. Not wanting to change myself or having to pretend in order to be liked. Fuck that shit!
I've had to live on my own for a long time now. I can't study with anyone because I end up not doing enough work as I would have done alone. I've stayed away from people who decided to try crossing my boundaries severally and almost it looks like everyone is upset with me. But, I don't have any care to give😂 I've achieved more respecting myself than pleasing people!!❤
So young and wise, at first i didnt understand but then it led me back to the verse that states, love others as yourself
If i dont respect myself then i dont respect others....very good point.
I dont usually comment on videos but what you said really stuck with me. The examples you gave really hit a bullet and now that I think about it, it does make sense. Thank you for making this video. Im commenting to boost it too cause people deserve to watch this and respect themselves!
a very powerful reminder, thank you
thank youu, i've been wondering if i've been pleasing people lately but no i always have known within myself that i only come close to people i like and i show myself for them and for me
Not even through the video yet but the analogy bw loving and respecting oneself was SPOT ON! Made my eyes go wide completely off guard. Brilliant!
Damn. Really enlightening, I’m trying to move into a career that’s heavily male dominated (very few females) and the way I keep second guessing myself is really disheartening. I’ve been reconstructing my thought process. Nice reminder to respect our self the way weed respect anyone else and to have grace. Thank you for the video!
Wow!!! That's why I tolerate lot of shit of others and my own habits. And accepting myself keep me grounded but not out of bad space. Respecting self is most basic.
It was inspiring to chose me and keep my promises! Thank you, bro
This is exactly what I needed at this point. Thank you so much for putting up things that our parents couldn't teach us
Thank u for the Video! Not my mother tongue but I understood it very well! And very good examples🙏🏻
You’re so right!
Thank you. Been thinking of this. I know I live myself but I behave so funny at times.
So i knew it wasn’t about love.
This just sums it up. I need to build up my self respect
Its a deep and necessary talk. Thanks for bring This.
I have so much love for myself and for others. I know myself, and I'm confident within myself. But I always receive hate back. I never quite understood it and still kind of don't. But after this video, it made me a little better.
I'll be back here one day, thank you for this insightful video brother.
Exactly! They’re trying to paint me as the villain because I decided to walk away. Sometimes I was extremely petty about the exit, but that’s entirely human. 🤷🏽♀️ I don’t care who hates me. Who are you to me? My happiness over everything and if you cannot respect my “No,” then you do not respect me or my autonomy. The energy of entitlement is STINKY!! 👃🏽👃🏽👃🏽🤢🤢🤢
This video really hit home for you, great work brother.
I gotta give you your flowers, thank you for sharing 🌹🌹🌹
I actually needed this today, last night I didn't work out and today I slept in...felt shame bruh
2nd perspective, you can grow as a person, respecting yourself to learn with others while controlling your urge to procrastinate. to each their own tho, you could lose business partnerships by not being friendly.
I love how you expressed the message-it was clear, straight to the point, and instantly resonated with me. Bless you.
i appreciate this video
honestly had always joined the concept of self love and self respect into one, but now i can see how they are actually two separate units, and bring out different outcomes or behaviors
thank you
I’ve learned to never trust or surround myself with people who proclaim to everybody’s friend , hang out with multiple conflicting friend groups, or brag about how they get along with any and everyone. That person is definitely self sacrificing or playing a role that they aren’t to fit in all these spaces. Truth is that if you’re being yourself and standing in who you are assertively, you’ll find that you won’t fit into many friend groups or social environments, it’ll be harder to find your people
this video is so spot on it’s unbelievable. exactly what I needed right now
Facts hit so hard I probably need to hear you again and again to make myself prepare hard for medical
Thanks bro I just changed my entire perspective
I don't think its called disrespecting yourself i believe its called lacking boundaries and standards. When you prioritize you , your time, your attention, and excute boundaries everyone around you will then respect you.
I feel like as soon as we start disrespecting ourselves all hell breaks lose, What can go wrong, does go wrong.
And that's simply a consequence of not putting ourselves first..
Though topic to explain, yet you managed to break it down in a simple and inspiring way! great video bro
Bro you are so concise and eloquent, thanks for this.
Self respect gave me the power to up hold my boundaries 💯
timing of this was divine! keep it up!
I honestly needed to hear this years ago, really put a lot into prospective. Great video man!
watching this at school and the message slaps!!!
thanks for spreading this message!!!
God put this video in my recommended at the right time tonight! This video helped me a lot to realize I wasn’t the only one going through this. Thank you so much!
Bro , i fully agree. Thanks. Selfrespect and selflove over everything
Wow you’re impressively real!
I'm a girl and I really needed to hear it. Thank you so much, it was all I've been wanting to know❤
Damn, never thought of that. Thank you so much.
This video was a huge eye opener. Thank you so much for creating this. I loved the way you explained everything :)