Thank you so much for making these. Really… even just to get reassurance that I’m not doing anything wrong when I don’t coddle my toddler when he deals with separation anxiety, is huge. Thank you
I have an almost 3.5 year old. She attended an in-home daycare for the first 3 years of her life. I’ve transitioned her to a Preschool that has double the classroom size of kids her age. Every night before a preschool day & morning of, she has massive anxiety and refusal of not wanting to go. This has been happening for 3 solid months. She has been seeing a child therapist for play based counseling the entire time. Nothing seems to help relieve her built up anxiety. I’ve put together a photo album of her family to pull out of her backpack when she misses me. That only works while at school. But getting her to go has been awful. It takes me an hour to get her out the door every morning. I’ve tried identifying her feelings, showing confidence myself even during her meltdown in nervous feelings. Nothing helps. But once she’s at school, she is engaged, plays, eager to learn, has made 2 friends, etc. It’s just the nervous build up the night before and morning of, that no one seems to help me get through. I guess my question is how long does this last if normal for her age and circumstance? And when should I consult her Pediatrician for further guidance on what I can do? TIA!
The duration of separation anxiety can determine a lot on a child's temperament. It sounds like you're doing a great job with all the interventions you can to ease her worry. But yes, I think if it's been going on this long and she's already in play therapy I'd mention it to her pediatrician to see if they have any other insights/tips. Best of luck, I know it Is so tough to go through! ❤
My son is 3 years 4 months he started head start couple of weeks after turning 3 and attended school for 6 weeks, in those 6 weeks there was not 1 day he wouldnt stay without crying and when they would go to the play ground he would cry for me screaming mom come back😢 I caught him a couple of times doing this. I always talk to him a day before that morning and comeback to him with a snack surprise like fruits and veggies he did have speech delay but I’d still ask him how was his day and fridays was our day out right after school so I would praise him
It’s so hard to see our kids cry but totally normal for them to be upset or frustrated as they adjust to a new environment. But with encouragement and confidence they’ll adjust and learn you’re always coming back for them ❤️
I am currently experiencing this same thing with my 4 year old who just started Prekindergarten about 3 weeks ago. Drop off and Nap time is really emotional for her this is our first time ever being away from each other. But I know that she has to to this. We both do. I am currently stressed ans overwhelmed
@@crown_heldhighlol this is currently me with my 4 year old and I don’t think his teacher is much help at all. She makes him feel bad for his anxiety so now he doesn’t trust her and feels like she’s mean .
I am currently experiencing this same thing with my 4 year old who just started Prekindergarten about 3 weeks ago. Drop off and Nap time is really emotional for her this is our first time ever being away from each other. But I know that she has to to this. We both do. I am currently stressed ans overwhelmed how to to “fix” this. She is being a lot more clingy at home and getting upset when she can’t have her way. We are transitioning from “baby to big girl” and breaking “spoiled habits “. I am planning to move out of state next year and I am worried about her having to go through this again due to my decisions… PLEASE HELP
Whenever there's a big change, keep consistency and routine where you can. The predictability helps a lot with young kiddos. And try to carve out some intentional one on one time when she's home. Show her you're confident in the change/new school and confident she'll do well there. It's often an adjustment period but hopefully with a little time drop off and nap will go smoothly!
@@Melvino151 aw I’m sorry yall are still having a tough time. It may be worth mentioning to your child’s clinician if you’ve tried all these strategies for an extended period and they’re still really struggling with separation anxiety. They may have other tips to help. Good luck, I know it’s so hard on us as parents too ❤️
I'd start small if possible, fun short outings away from you but with someone they know/trust etc and show confidence and reassurance that they'll be okay when it's time to say goodbye. If after all my tips he's still struggling and it's problematic, mention it to your child's clinician. Sometimes certain kinds of therapy can help
My son is 2.5 and started daycare/preschool for the first time. The first week he did awesome no issues; however, the last week was a different story. He cried so hard that it caused him to throw up, which means that I have to pick him up and keep him home 24hrs (per school sickness rule). This seems to be his coping strategy at home too when he gets upset. Do you have any suggestions on how to help him calm down before he gets to the point of throwing up? Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
If you haven’t already I’d talk to his teachers and school about the situation. See how they’re handling things when you leave. Ideally they’re calmly reminding your son you’ll be back later and then utilizing distraction to help him calm down. Could he bring a comfort item just until he gets more comfortable? And you could ask if they could make an exception to the vomiting rule given it keeps happening when he’s upset and he has no other sick symptoms, some places will be more accommodating than others. Good luck!!
I am 18 year old..i had to move away from home due to studies...and i am facing extreme anxiety due to that...what do i do? Please help ...i feel.. suffocated by all the emotions..
I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. Please reach out to your own personal health provider who can suggest local counselors and/or medications that can you help during this time
We went through this with my daughter when she turned about 9 mos. She had 2 teachers in her infant classroom that she became very attached to and would get very upset at deop off if it wasn't one of those 2 teachers. Then when we switched to the Toddler room boy did we have a rough time. I would say it took about 3 weeks for drop off to get easier. Now she adores her teacher. So do we LOL! I was worried because I remember having very severe separation anxiety as a kid. I would cry all day for the first 6 months of pre school at age 3 and even when I was older into school age, I would get very upset when my mom would leave. I knew she would never just leave me but I was always terrified something bad was going to happen to her. This translated to as a teenager and young adulthood instead of being frustrated if someone was late, I would be the one that was convinced the other person was dead in a ditch somewhere. I really hope she doesn't inherit my tendency to catasrophize.
my baby is 2 and half years. I started his montessori since 4 month but still he cries everyday before school and cling to me. I am a working mother and I have worked after he was 3 months. My mother looked after him,still he cries even if I leave him with my mother. Is this normal>
I'd talk to his school and/or your mom. If he calms down quickly after you leave and does fine the rest of the day he may just have normal sadness at separation. But if it takes him a really long time to calm down or it's interfering with his ability to thrive at school, it may be worth discussing things with your child's clinician. Best of luck!
My child isn’t even 2 yet and it’s so hard. He won’t even go to his grandparents or dad because he only wants mom! Screams and only wants me, I breastfeed still too.
Separation anxiety is so tough and is often as hard on parents as it is on the child! With consistent exposures, no matter how brief, and with the tips I give in the video, you should see progress with time. I wish you the best of luck, I know it's tough! ❤
The suggestion that object permanence and separation anxiety are related is not convincing. Object permanence implies continued existence of the caregiver. This is more likely to relieve separation anxiety than trigger it. Or perhaps we actually think that the idea of the evaporation of the caregiver from existence is more conducive to calm and contentment? 😂
Hm I see where you're coming from. But from my perspective, before object permanence develops babies think that things they can no longer see no longer exist. Meaning when you disappear your baby doesn't think it's an option for you to be there. Where as when they have object permanence and you walk away they know it's a reality you could be behind the door or in the parking lot and are upset that you are out of sight.
@@pedsdoctalktv "babies think that things they can no longer see no longer exist" ...and this seems a far more anxiety-fuelling state of affairs. Can you imagine our own anxiety if we thought our loved ones would cease to exist if they left our sight? For clarity, my doubt is not that object permanence and separation anxiety are temporally coincident during development. The doubt is that one explains the other. A child with object permanence that lacks separation anxiety is all that is needed to validate the doubt and suggest that other important factors are at play. Even variation in separation anxiety raises questions. For example, it would seem unlikely that children that only ever showed very little anxiety suggest might think objects are less permanent than those with high anxiety. It feels like even if object permanence were involved in separation anxiety, the more interesting and important factors are not identified. Edit: Thanks for your response btw; always good to get one from the creator!
Thank you so much for making these. Really… even just to get reassurance that I’m not doing anything wrong when I don’t coddle my toddler when he deals with separation anxiety, is huge. Thank you
youre so welcome! Its such a balance but you have to go and YOU WILL return
Thank you so much for this video! We truly need the advice for my grandchild
Useful video, I look forward to your new videos!
I have an almost 3.5 year old. She attended an in-home daycare for the first 3 years of her life. I’ve transitioned her to a Preschool that has double the classroom size of kids her age. Every night before a preschool day & morning of, she has massive anxiety and refusal of not wanting to go. This has been happening for 3 solid months. She has been seeing a child therapist for play based counseling the entire time. Nothing seems to help relieve her built up anxiety. I’ve put together a photo album of her family to pull out of her backpack when she misses me. That only works while at school. But getting her to go has been awful. It takes me an hour to get her out the door every morning. I’ve tried identifying her feelings, showing confidence myself even during her meltdown in nervous feelings. Nothing helps. But once she’s at school, she is engaged, plays, eager to learn, has made 2 friends, etc. It’s just the nervous build up the night before and morning of, that no one seems to help me get through. I guess my question is how long does this last if normal for her age and circumstance? And when should I consult her Pediatrician for further guidance on what I can do? TIA!
The duration of separation anxiety can determine a lot on a child's temperament. It sounds like you're doing a great job with all the interventions you can to ease her worry. But yes, I think if it's been going on this long and she's already in play therapy I'd mention it to her pediatrician to see if they have any other insights/tips. Best of luck, I know it Is so tough to go through! ❤
My 4 year old is currently going through this. I feel helpless
My son is 3 years 4 months he started head start couple of weeks after turning 3 and attended school for 6 weeks, in those 6 weeks there was not 1 day he wouldnt stay without crying and when they would go to the play ground he would cry for me screaming mom come back😢 I caught him a couple of times doing this. I always talk to him a day before that morning and comeback to him with a snack surprise like fruits and veggies he did have speech delay but I’d still ask him how was his day and fridays was our day out right after school so I would praise him
It’s so hard to see our kids cry but totally normal for them to be upset or frustrated as they adjust to a new environment. But with encouragement and confidence they’ll adjust and learn you’re always coming back for them ❤️
I am going through the same process 😪 😔 😕 😞 my son is 3yrs 6mos. He doesn't last longer than 2 hours and I am picking him up 😢😢😢
I am currently experiencing this same thing with my 4 year old who just started Prekindergarten about 3 weeks ago. Drop off and Nap time is really emotional for her this is our first time ever being away from each other. But I know that she has to to this. We both do. I am currently stressed ans overwhelmed
@@crown_heldhighlol this is currently me with my 4 year old and I don’t think his teacher is much help at all. She makes him feel bad for his anxiety so now he doesn’t trust her and feels like she’s mean .
Older teen with separation anxiety here, it can be very hard especially when it turns into depression. It will be ok, ❤❤❤
sending love from afar ❤
@@pedsdoctalktv Thankyou ❤️
I am currently experiencing this same thing with my 4 year old who just started Prekindergarten about 3 weeks ago. Drop off and Nap time is really emotional for her this is our first time ever being away from each other. But I know that she has to to this. We both do. I am currently stressed ans overwhelmed how to to “fix” this.
She is being a lot more clingy at home and getting upset when she can’t have her way. We are transitioning from “baby to big girl” and breaking “spoiled habits “. I am planning to move out of state next year and I am worried about her having to go through this again due to my decisions… PLEASE HELP
Whenever there's a big change, keep consistency and routine where you can. The predictability helps a lot with young kiddos. And try to carve out some intentional one on one time when she's home. Show her you're confident in the change/new school and confident she'll do well there. It's often an adjustment period but hopefully with a little time drop off and nap will go smoothly!
Good video thank you
thank you so much for this wonderfully helpful and informative Content, god bless!!
So glad you found it helpful ❤️❤️
❤️
I guess my child will have to age out because none of these techniques have helped in our home but awesome for those that it has.
@@Melvino151 aw I’m sorry yall are still having a tough time. It may be worth mentioning to your child’s clinician if you’ve tried all these strategies for an extended period and they’re still really struggling with separation anxiety. They may have other tips to help. Good luck, I know it’s so hard on us as parents too ❤️
@@Melvino151 wish you all the best of luck 🤞🏻
Thanks so much!
Very informative video
I've done all these things. My 4 year old just gets into a panic attack when I leave and continues till I get back. Any other advice? I'm desperate
I'd start small if possible, fun short outings away from you but with someone they know/trust etc and show confidence and reassurance that they'll be okay when it's time to say goodbye. If after all my tips he's still struggling and it's problematic, mention it to your child's clinician. Sometimes certain kinds of therapy can help
My son is 2.5 and started daycare/preschool for the first time. The first week he did awesome no issues; however, the last week was a different story. He cried so hard that it caused him to throw up, which means that I have to pick him up and keep him home 24hrs (per school sickness rule). This seems to be his coping strategy at home too when he gets upset. Do you have any suggestions on how to help him calm down before he gets to the point of throwing up? Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
If you haven’t already I’d talk to his teachers and school about the situation. See how they’re handling things when you leave. Ideally they’re calmly reminding your son you’ll be back later and then utilizing distraction to help him calm down. Could he bring a comfort item just until he gets more comfortable? And you could ask if they could make an exception to the vomiting rule given it keeps happening when he’s upset and he has no other sick symptoms, some places will be more accommodating than others. Good luck!!
I am 18 year old..i had to move away from home due to studies...and i am facing extreme anxiety due to that...what do i do? Please help ...i feel.. suffocated by all the emotions..
I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. Please reach out to your own personal health provider who can suggest local counselors and/or medications that can you help during this time
Tthanks. What about ssri?
SSRIs are not recommended in children this young
We went through this with my daughter when she turned about 9 mos. She had 2 teachers in her infant classroom that she became very attached to and would get very upset at deop off if it wasn't one of those 2 teachers. Then when we switched to the Toddler room boy did we have a rough time. I would say it took about 3 weeks for drop off to get easier. Now she adores her teacher. So do we LOL! I was worried because I remember having very severe separation anxiety as a kid. I would cry all day for the first 6 months of pre school at age 3 and even when I was older into school age, I would get very upset when my mom would leave. I knew she would never just leave me but I was always terrified something bad was going to happen to her. This translated to as a teenager and young adulthood instead of being frustrated if someone was late, I would be the one that was convinced the other person was dead in a ditch somewhere. I really hope she doesn't inherit my tendency to catasrophize.
Can separation anxiety start at 4 months old??
It can as babies begin to develop object permenance which is the realization that objects and people still exist even when they are not visible.
my baby is 2 and half years. I started his montessori since 4 month but still he cries everyday before school and cling to me. I am a working mother and I have worked after he was 3 months. My mother looked after him,still he cries even if I leave him with my mother. Is this normal>
I'd talk to his school and/or your mom. If he calms down quickly after you leave and does fine the rest of the day he may just have normal sadness at separation. But if it takes him a really long time to calm down or it's interfering with his ability to thrive at school, it may be worth discussing things with your child's clinician. Best of luck!
❤
My child isn’t even 2 yet and it’s so hard. He won’t even go to his grandparents or dad because he only wants mom! Screams and only wants me, I breastfeed still too.
Separation anxiety is so tough and is often as hard on parents as it is on the child! With consistent exposures, no matter how brief, and with the tips I give in the video, you should see progress with time. I wish you the best of luck, I know it's tough! ❤
The suggestion that object permanence and separation anxiety are related is not convincing.
Object permanence implies continued existence of the caregiver. This is more likely to relieve separation anxiety than trigger it. Or perhaps we actually think that the idea of the evaporation of the caregiver from existence is more conducive to calm and contentment? 😂
Hm I see where you're coming from. But from my perspective, before object permanence develops babies think that things they can no longer see no longer exist. Meaning when you disappear your baby doesn't think it's an option for you to be there. Where as when they have object permanence and you walk away they know it's a reality you could be behind the door or in the parking lot and are upset that you are out of sight.
@@pedsdoctalktv "babies think that things they can no longer see no longer exist" ...and this seems a far more anxiety-fuelling state of affairs.
Can you imagine our own anxiety if we thought our loved ones would cease to exist if they left our sight?
For clarity, my doubt is not that object permanence and separation anxiety are temporally coincident during development. The doubt is that one explains the other. A child with object permanence that lacks separation anxiety is all that is needed to validate the doubt and suggest that other important factors are at play.
Even variation in separation anxiety raises questions. For example, it would seem unlikely that children that only ever showed very little anxiety suggest might think objects are less permanent than those with high anxiety.
It feels like even if object permanence were involved in separation anxiety, the more interesting and important factors are not identified.
Edit: Thanks for your response btw; always good to get one from the creator!
This woman does not understand attachment