This Helped Solve My Toddler’s Separation Anxiety
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- Опубліковано 12 лип 2024
- My most detailed anxiety video so far! - 3 Steps to Help a Child With Anxiety When Nothing’s Working | Full Guide - • 3 Steps to Help a Chil...
I hope this video is truly helpful to you!
🚌 Separation Anxiety Masterclass - childbehaviorclinic.com/maste...
🔟 Simple Things to Ease Child Separation Anxiety at Bedtime - • 10 Simple Things to Ea...
In this video, I’m going to tell you all about how I dealt with my daughter’s separation anxiety, what you can do to help young kids through this challenging phase, and what we can do for ourselves to deal with all the frustration that always comes up. And be sure to stick around until the end for the specific steps I’d use when the anxiety feels a bit more stubborn and has stuck around for a while.
I’m Dr. Jacque from ChildBehaviorClinic.com. I'm a mom of two and a licensed psychologist who helps families with child anxiety and ADHD. #anxiety #anxietytips #separationanxiety
✍ Because every family and situation is different, I know there are going to be questions about the tips in this video, so let’s keep this conversation going in the comments. I’m sure there are other parents with the same question, so we can all benefit from you asking!
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FREE RESOURCES:
🛌 A Simple Formula to Help Kids With Separation Anxiety - DoctorJacque.com/formula?utm_...
📚 Recommended Child Anxiety & ADHD Books, Toys, and Resources - childbehaviorclinic.com/addit...
3️⃣ Coping Skills Every Kid Needs Guide - childbehaviorclinic.com/3-cop...
📗 48 Things to Say Instead of Stop, Don’t, and No - childbehaviorclinic.com/48-ph...
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0:00 This puppy helped solve my toddler's separation anxiety at dance class
0:40 5 things that may make separation anxiety worse - previous video
1:18 Phases of child separation anxiety - what does it depend on?
2:25 One of the first things you should do to help kids with separation anxiety
3:53 What you should do when validating isn't enough
4:49 What else you can do if things aren't as easy
6:02 If this is happening - you need to keep trying other things - here's why
6:52 This is an important and big piece of how to help kids with anxiety
8:06 Don't forget to do this
8:47 A more detailed plan for dealing with separation anxiety
🔔 For tips on overcoming fears and anxiety, subscribe - / @doctorjacque
WHO AM I:
Hi there. I’m Dr. Jacquelyn Bogdanov, founder of Child Behavior Clinic (childbehaviorclinic.com). I’m a licensed child psychologist who specializes in child anxiety and ADHD.
I help families with child anxiety and ADHD, so parents can feel confident they are giving their kids what they need. I take research-supported ideas and make them into simple, practical, and straightforward tips and strategies you can use right away.
I believe all parents and kids should have access to quality mental health information, ideas, and resources, especially when it comes to anxiety and ADHD. You and your kids deserve support to make it through the hard times together.
DISCLAIMER:
This video, information, and related content, including information linking to third-party websites are for educational purposes only. They are not intended to replace the advice of a licensed medical or mental health professional. Information provided cannot diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent disease. Engagement between Child Behavior Clinic or Dr. Jacque Bogdanov and others on this site or otherwise does not constitute therapeutic services, psychological advice, or consultation, and should not be considered a therapeutic relationship. If you are in distress and in need of immediate assistance, please call 911 or go to your nearest emergency room.
My most detailed anxiety video so far! - 3 Steps to Help a Child With Anxiety When Nothing’s Working | Full Guide - ua-cam.com/video/rLIYaKyxkSI/v-deo.html
I hope this video and the strategies in it are truly helpful to you!
1. Put yourself in their shoes
2. Spend time with them in the new situation
3. Pick something that can go into the situation with the child
4. Have a plan for yourself
This has been a helpful and informative video! Thanks so much
Hi I just wanted to comment and say your previous video to this one helped me right away. The information about discussing and validating their feelings was what helped.
I have a 2 year old son (almost 27m) Whois only with me, no friends, family or daycare/babysitters. He is very attached, and has separation anxiety.
He cried a lot yesterday and threw a fit when I left him for the kid watch at our ymca. The day before he was fine there, because it’s been a while since he came and e remembered there’s a lot of toys there to play with. The next day (yesterday) he realized that I was going to leave and he did not handle it well. I went last night and watched/listened to your video, not really confident that the advice would be applicable to a younger toddler that doesn’t quite understand things like a
3 or 4 year old would. I went ahead and tried anyway, and talked to him about his feelings about the kid box/kid watch area, and not just about what to expect in the situation (lol Ihad done previously-“mommy will be back, you stay here while mommy exercises,etc”). Today (and I think I mentioned last night during his bath time) I took your advice about talking about his feelings he may have (“I know you might feel a little nervous/scared/worried about the toy area (at the ymca) and I know you might feel like you miss mommy- but don’t be scared, mommy is going to come back after gym/exercise/work out”). I told him when we got closer to the gym, and then once we got inside, I showed him where my room was,
And where his room
Was and that we are close by. I also told him to be happy and tell th lady his name, ask her name, etc, no crying. Well ll long story ,I’m typing this on my phone while I’m on the elliptical machine, with a calm kid in the kid/toy area! So thank you!
If things regress I will update but hopefully all goes well! I will post this on the first video that helped me. And hey I went ahead and subscribed as a thank you’
I loved reading your comment 😊 Thank you so much for coming back and sharing your experience. It's such a great feeling when you find something that feels right for your situation and family, and that also helps everyone involved feel more confident and calm. I also think when we tune into how our kids are feeling, it helps us have more empathy and be less reactive in the moment. And this in turn helps kids know (even without words) that they are safe and loved.
And also, thank you for sharing what was helpful for you on both videos. Your comments, likes, and subscribing all help the video reach more families who could also find them helpful. 🥰
Amazing work I can tell you work hard on it.💜👍💯
Awesome info thank you
Thanks so much! I’d love to hear how it works for you.
Thank you!!
Glad it was helpful! 💕
@@DoctorJacque it definitely will be when the time comes. Trying to do research and plan ahead so I’ll know what to do if this is an issue.
Thank you we are taking our 2 year old to daycare tomorrow 🙏🤞
You're welcome! How did it go?
My daughter turns 2 in august (it’s July) and I can’t even step out the room without her crying and looking for me. We are on vacation right now, so some of it is due to being in a new environment, but I feel extremely stressed and overwhelmed from not having time to myself this summer. I’ll try a stuffed animal, because I’m exhausted. I wish she could at least sit in a room with my grandmother, but she just cries and cries
Hi! Thanks for the video, I’m struggling with my 20 month old at daycare. He has been going since he was 5 months old, with no issues, then we took a long summer break that he spent with family in Italy and Spain, and now that we are back in the country we live in (the Netherlands) he hasn’t adjusted to going back. This has been going on for three weeks now, every day I get get called to ask to pick him up because he’s angry and sad and refusing food and only wants to sleep or be held. This is very unlike him, I can leave him with babysitters or Nannies and he is totally fine, and he’s normally very sociable and connects with people he doesn’t know very well. So clearly daycare is giving him bad anxiety, and we’re trying all your tips, he’s fine while I am with him at daycare, but the moment I tell him I’m leaving and will pick him up soon, he becomes very distressed. Do we just keep at it? Do you have any other recommendations for us?
Hi Maria - thanks for watching and your question. When they’re so young and we notice a change that seems so unlike them, it’s heart breaking. I think the choice to keep at it or try something else is a personal one and depends on what works for you and your family. A few things I’d wonder about for kids in this situation - Does the reaction change if another parent/caregiver does drops off? Are there any caregivers at daycare that he connects with more and could spend more of the day with? How long is he there and sad/angry before he gets picked up? Is there anything about the daycare environment that’s changed or that’s become more overwhelming for him? What could he take with him to ease the time there, like a picture of you, a scheduled check-in phone call/FaceTime, or a different special reminder item?
My daughter attends preschool two days a week, for at least 6 weeks now. She was fine the first two days and now experiences separation upset and becomes upset during the day at times. She says it's because she misses me. We have tired a comfort toy, a calendar of her week (so she knows what days we will be together), sticker reward chart, I tried staying to settle her in and she only got worse when it was time for me to leave. She's starting to preempt the anxiety sometimes days before and will often cry. I'm not sure what I else I can do (she's three, almost four).
Thanks for your comment. This can be so tough for both parents and kids. It is common at that age, and there are things you can do to help it go more smoothly. You could check out the other videos in my anxiety playlists. I have a Masterclass on separation anxiety too. You can find the info for it at: childbehaviorclinic.com/masterclasses/child-separation-anxiety-course-for-parents/
Hi thank you. Have you had any moms you’ve helped personally that had a 2 year old son with a lot of SA, and they had no family, friends, babysitters/caretakers nearby? If you had examples of how they overcame that?
Sure, there are definitely families and situations where kids don’t have many (or any) experiences outside of their primary caregivers. In those cases, the practice around separating more easily would be wherever the anxiety comes up - like school/daycare, being in a separate room from a parent at home, bedtime, etc. The principles and approach are still the same. It just wouldn’t be when staying with family or a babysitter. Does that get at what you’re asking?
Hi Doctor!
Thank you for all this valuable information.
I am going through a hard time with my little one. She is 19 months old and she started to develop an incredible separation anxiety from me. I can’t event go to the bathroom, she wants me to hold her and cuddle her all the time and there is something else that started 3 days ago and I don’t know what to do. Me and my partner are going crazy. She refuses to sleep in her own crib (worth mentioning that she sleeps separate in her crib since she is 7 months old) and always fell asleep independently with no problem at all.
Now when she sees the crib she is screaming and refusing to sleep. She becomes over tired and still will not sleep in her crib. She wants to sleep only in my or my partner arms rocking her.
Do you have any advise related to this?
Thank you so much!
Hi! I'm not able to give personalized feedback via UA-cam. But I know these changes in behavior can be so challenging and frustrating. Sometimes it's just a tough phase and sometimes it's something more than that. Talking with your family's medical doctor is a good place to start since they can give you more individualized recommendations. I have a whole separation anxiety playlist that might be helpful as well. You can find it here: ua-cam.com/play/PLpLVuNZkXPoPwYyI_gji6DYU2uM_Qqn0b.html
As a father and grandfather to many kids now, this tidbit is not medical or professional advice but anecdotal experience sharing. She's at a stage to know what she can get away with. Since you guys have given her what she wants, i.e., sleeping with you, she knows she can insist on that from you going forward. In fact, she knows if she throws enough fuss, you will give her what she wants. So, it's better to be loving AND FIRM. Put her back into her crib and let her cry herself to sleep. It might take a few sleepless nights, but she will figure it out. They are way smarter than we give them credit for. It's simply a battle of the will.
I have an amazing 16-month-old little grandson. He loves playing with Grammy but when it comes to bedtime all he wants is daddy and his baba. My son has told me he could even stay up. But he’s so tired he just wants his baba and his dada. He just started doing this the last month as now he realizes and connects Who his parents actually are. I know he loves me but he wants his routine of daddy holding him and rocking him for bed. What should I do??? I did buy a pillow and had a picture put on this throw pillow. And I have introduced it to him and my grandson loves it he walks around kissing it all the time. any suggestions would be so welcome! I really do not look forward to him crying himself to sleep and being all stuffy……😞😞😞
It’s tough when they’re too young to fully communicate. Since little ones are so dependent on their caregivers, it’s normal from them to have trouble when away from them. Usually with some consistency and things that are familiar/comforting, it gets better with less familiar caregivers over time. Hang in there. ❤️
Would this method work on a 7 year old? He had a incident with his teacher, and since he’s ok when he’s in school not getting in the door is a nightmare. Screaming and hanging on me and repeating over and over please take me home! We switched his teacher and he’s still doing it 😫
I think all the things mentioned in the video - shifting your mindset and imagining yourself in their shoes, helping their bodies warm up to the situation, and working on your own reactions - can be helpful no matter what the age. It’s also important to remember that kids will cling to their safe people and space (usually their parents) when something is stressful or unpleasant. They’re hard-wired to do that. So the meltdown and difficulty getting into school may not just be about separating. It could still be related to the incident you mentioned, and there might be something lingering about that that’s making it harder.
It’s not because of the pandemic. It’s because of the overwrought, authoritarian, and destructive reaction to the pandemic. Never should have happened.
I don't think a stuffed animal will help my grandson
That’s ok! The stuffed animal just represents the idea of something that helps them feel safe. It should be personalized - and just one of many things to try. I’d love to hear what you try and how it goes!