Matteo Lane Roasts Times Square

Поділитися
Вставка
  • Опубліковано 13 січ 2025

КОМЕНТАРІ • 427

  • @thescoobymike
    @thescoobymike 2 роки тому +480

    "There's a specific type of gay that would wear this, and that gay is Frankie Grande" lmaoooo

    • @ricardorojas3872
      @ricardorojas3872 2 роки тому +4

      It was funny how he brutally burnt him but, who is he? 😅🤣

    • @DC-pp8xf
      @DC-pp8xf 2 роки тому +11

      @@ricardorojas3872 Ariana Grande brother.

    • @jenniferdesouza5082
      @jenniferdesouza5082 2 роки тому +12

      Oh I wheezed when he said that

    • @Did.You.Forget
      @Did.You.Forget 2 роки тому +4

      Scientifically proven I hear.

  • @gpoetx
    @gpoetx 2 роки тому +167

    Honestly Netflix should give you a special

  • @averyanahi
    @averyanahi 2 роки тому +209

    sometimes as a chicana i feel weird not being able to speak spanish super fluently even tho it was actually my first language but then I hear how confidently people like matteo say they can speak spanish and then I HEAR how they speak spanish and I feel better about how much I can speak lmao

    • @averyanahi
      @averyanahi 2 роки тому +54

      ps i know he's part mexican my point is that his spanish is not perfect and neither is mine so maybe I'll stop feelin bad about how I speak it lolol

    • @matteolanecomedy
      @matteolanecomedy  2 роки тому +153

      @@averyanahi hahah i learned italian first then spanish, so i speak spatalian haha

    • @ML-xh6rd
      @ML-xh6rd 2 роки тому +18

      Same here. I still hold back sometimes but I try not to because people really do appreciate the effort of you trying. Sometimes they'll even help you to pronounce or say things more correctly which is nice.

    • @geewiz8253
      @geewiz8253 2 роки тому +3

      @@matteolanecomedy Lol. My grandma spoke Portuñol.

    • @aveuch
      @aveuch 2 роки тому +5

      I grew up thinking my Spanish to was perfect, and better than any of my cousins, until I started using it a professional context. Umm, no mijo.

  • @rachelaimeemateya2676
    @rachelaimeemateya2676 2 роки тому +197

    I cannot describe how frequently I busted out into full blown belly laughs while in a crowded nail salon. You're incredible

  • @ZAjosh
    @ZAjosh 2 роки тому +114

    "Not like cats where everyone looks like they have Hep C" made me spit out my coffee.

    • @jessicapaxton2502
      @jessicapaxton2502 Місяць тому

      The cackle that came outta me when he said that 😂😂😂

  • @wabisabi7755
    @wabisabi7755 2 роки тому +40

    I like how you touched the sparkly thing despite the Do Not Touch sign. I stan an unbothered queen. 😂

  • @matrix2297
    @matrix2297 2 роки тому +128

    The effortless charisma and wit is Matteo's way of letting everyone know, "You ain't never had a friend like me".

  • @evelynmmm
    @evelynmmm 2 роки тому +64

    The Italian accent when you speak Spanish! I love it.

  • @watchparty-iz2ms
    @watchparty-iz2ms 2 роки тому +58

    I would’ve loved to have known what was going through that man’s head who was standing right behind Matteo when he said he was gonna bring the Boba Fett mask to a sex party 🤣

  • @justinchristian3374
    @justinchristian3374 2 роки тому +52

    I’ve been binging on Matteo all month….He is so naturally funny!

  • @hunterpall9498
    @hunterpall9498 2 роки тому +17

    The guy turned directly towards the camera listening in on what he was saying during the second mask he would “walk into the sex party wearing” had me weak.

    • @The_Crucible714
      @The_Crucible714 8 днів тому

      5:05 Nothing he hasn’t heard before I’m sure! 😂

  • @mollyfletcher7746
    @mollyfletcher7746 2 роки тому +20

    Honestly this is the best, it's like walking around the mall with a friend.

    • @em0_tion
      @em0_tion 2 роки тому +2

      Yeah, but NONE of my friends are this incredibly hilarious! 😂

  • @BayuSeta
    @BayuSeta 2 роки тому +42

    do this at every city you're touring in Matteo! love it!

  • @els1f
    @els1f 2 роки тому +14

    The thing about there being no more baritones in Broadway is SO TRUE!

  • @tiffanyd.8489
    @tiffanyd.8489 2 роки тому +11

    I lost it at the Sailor Moon reference because thats exactly what I thought when he picked it up. But I specifically remember Usagi saying "oh Darien!" in the voice Mateo made. I just feel seen lmfao

  • @friedcatfood
    @friedcatfood 2 роки тому +22

    Dude, as a native speaker, your spanish was pretty good :) You speak spanish with an italian accent and I speak italian with a spanish accent lol

  • @Sew_OzzyWar_Made_This
    @Sew_OzzyWar_Made_This 2 роки тому +40

    This was fucking hilarious and great. As a native New Yorker (from the city! Big difference people), I needed this roast of time square. We all need this. 👏🏽😂

  • @burtonkrichard8898
    @burtonkrichard8898 2 роки тому +21

    That M&M wall is a dangerous game when your 16. I spent $50 accidentally. Ate none of it. Cause I forgot about them in my hotel room. Field trips for kids ya know. Also love the Frankie grande slander. Keep it coming.

  • @andreeabianca318
    @andreeabianca318 2 роки тому +25

    The fact that the mango was the best part confirms Matteo as my spirit animal. The best mask/helmet for him is an apolonian warm metal one, with crystaline feathers around the eyes. Hawkgirl style, "Emily Ratajkowski 2019 met gala"-esque. Change my mind.

  • @SchwarzBass
    @SchwarzBass 2 роки тому +15

    you're so right about broadway voices and the lack of lower voice colors! You should post more of you really singing!

    • @yoyodre
      @yoyodre 2 роки тому +1

      I listened to the new Broadway recording of my favorite show, Caroline, or Change. And i kept thinking this has no darkness in the low notes.

  • @geostyma
    @geostyma 2 роки тому +13

    He speaks Spanish with an Italian accent xD

  • @Nicolas20205
    @Nicolas20205 2 роки тому +11

    Matteo speaking Spanish just made him the sexiest gay guy I've ever met thanks to Instagram.

  • @tikettle
    @tikettle 2 роки тому +9

    Mateo: “who the hell is getting almond m&m’s??” Guy in grey shirt: “…”

  • @glooperscooper
    @glooperscooper 2 роки тому +9

    Matteo: I'm such a Chicago Stan
    *eats a hotdog with JUST ketchup"

    • @aprilschauers112
      @aprilschauers112 2 роки тому +6

      The cheek, the nerve, the audacity, the gall and the gumption!

  • @BruthaB100
    @BruthaB100 2 роки тому +12

    I love your sasss and sarcasm! Always good vibes with you Matteo. Can't wait for your next comedy special 👍🏽

  • @sandrafilippelli6476
    @sandrafilippelli6476 2 роки тому +9

    Ugh! I freakin adore you Matteo. Everything you do is so entertaining. Please keep the content coming!

  • @bshap7107
    @bshap7107 2 роки тому +45

    I NEED to see Matteo entering a sex party with a Zerg helmet on 😂😂

    • @augusts1
      @augusts1 2 роки тому +1

      Most sex parties do not allow cameras/phones to record at their event.for privacy reasons. So good luck w/that lol.

    • @derekpearce4987
      @derekpearce4987 2 роки тому

      "...you know how much dick I would get?" I just got told off for waking up my BF screaming with laughter at that.

  • @karmallama7957
    @karmallama7957 2 роки тому +2

    I live under a rock and discovered you today. Been belly laughing all day, Thank you !

  • @ic7353
    @ic7353 2 роки тому +4

    Dude you are too funny. Netflix please give this man a special!

  • @k.s.thompson5766
    @k.s.thompson5766 2 роки тому +10

    Fellow Maleficent fan here and yes, Disney really dropped all the balls with her. Two movies and this is STILL happening?

  • @heavenlyhashbrown1
    @heavenlyhashbrown1 2 роки тому +7

    Please go to LA and collab with Miss Coco Peru. I feel like you two would really get along lol

  • @Sishel
    @Sishel 2 роки тому +2

    “Mexican heaven” lol! I feel so seen right now, mango with chile Tajin was my favorite after school snack growing up.

  • @myboibill
    @myboibill 2 роки тому +8

    The license plate that says “Mateo” is still being made at Attica. The boys would like you to go up with John for a fitting.

  • @Alex90680
    @Alex90680 Рік тому +1

    Matteo needs a Versus series; him versus these places he roasts ❤️ Travel Channel series 🔥

  • @Joe1339
    @Joe1339 2 роки тому +4

    I’m surprised but I shouldn’t be that Matteo sounds like an Italian speaking Spanish.

  • @Victoria-po2xj
    @Victoria-po2xj 2 роки тому +7

    Hilarious as usual, but when you started talking about Sailor Moon that was the icing on the cake of how awesome you are 🌙✨

  • @willmerm6165
    @willmerm6165 2 роки тому +4

    Hmm, I guess it's time to tell off Netflix. I'm personally offended that they haven't offered/given you a special. At least, I got to see you live in Miami. That was a blast! Thank you for the gut busting laughs.

  • @YosefK
    @YosefK 2 роки тому +10

    finally!!!!! someone who does only ketchup on their hotdog and only cheese on their burger! we are a beautiful but dying breed

    • @greggi47
      @greggi47 8 місяців тому

      Perhaps dying because of that abominable ketchup condiment choice. Ketchup belongs on burgers. It's somewhere in Leviticus, I think.

    • @36993020
      @36993020 4 місяці тому

      Only in America where people identify themselves based on condiments on a fast food.

  • @emperial4421
    @emperial4421 Рік тому +1

    2:33 I’m ashamed as a Chicagoan you ordered ketchup on ur hotdog

  • @karacool69
    @karacool69 2 роки тому +1

    Omg but the Simpson's reference! And the Sailor Moon!! Omg were meant to be friends!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

  • @JDMimeTHEFIRST
    @JDMimeTHEFIRST 2 роки тому +12

    Ursula is the best. She did exactly what she said she would and yet everyone got upset about it. She’s just teaching Ariel how to be a feminist. Don’t give up your voice and unique body for a man, girl.

  • @nathalianunez6692
    @nathalianunez6692 2 роки тому +10

    Me emocioné mucho cuando Matteo comenzó a hablar en español 😭 pero al mismo tiempo, me dio mucha risa por su acento italiano

  • @MrJohnunico
    @MrJohnunico 2 роки тому +1

    Lol i cant with u, too funny. U remember me of (Miss Coco Peru) type of vibe, like when she goes around and roast places/ stuff etc.... She makes me laugh as well. =D

  • @rah62
    @rah62 2 роки тому +3

    4:55 RIP legendary comedienne Pat Carroll, who just died - she voiced Ursula.

  • @mlucier32
    @mlucier32 2 роки тому +3

    "Not like Cats where they all look like they have Hep C." 🤣🤣🤣

  • @jamestnov41945
    @jamestnov41945 2 роки тому +1

    Matteo I was in Times Square in 1980 wonderful place to people watch. Memory serves there were no food vendors allowed. Thank you for the update tour.

  • @alfredoruiz7562
    @alfredoruiz7562 2 роки тому +12

    Spanish with a heavy Italian accent

    • @matteolanecomedy
      @matteolanecomedy  2 роки тому +5

      Hahaha I know. I’m sorry

    • @ladosis5596
      @ladosis5596 2 роки тому +2

      @@matteolanecomedy don't be! Is very charming

    • @ejgonzal13
      @ejgonzal13 2 роки тому +1

      hahaha I enjoyed the Italian Spanish

    • @alfredoruiz7562
      @alfredoruiz7562 2 роки тому +2

      @@matteolanecomedy All good. It's like my name-Spanish with a heavy Italian accent!

    • @UniMagik
      @UniMagik 2 роки тому

      ICONIC TBH

  • @kambermusic
    @kambermusic 2 роки тому

    Just stumbled upon Matteo on my UA-cam recommended - he’s fluent in multiple languages, I adore his Chicago accent, he’s effing hilarious, and hot as hell
    I’m dying over here

  • @alejandromendoza9554
    @alejandromendoza9554 2 роки тому +1

    Mango con tajin, Best part!!! Amo tus videos Mateo.

  • @FranciscoP38
    @FranciscoP38 2 роки тому +5

    Matteo, I love you! Netflix must give you a special, period. We should start a petition! ❤️

  • @nomanshigh3058
    @nomanshigh3058 2 роки тому +1

    I learned who Frankie Grande was yesterday. Now I'm here.

  • @MrDiscoDavo
    @MrDiscoDavo 2 роки тому +3

    Sharp, witty, hilarious and adorable.
    Beats any m&m combo.
    I’m bordering on stalker obsessed.
    😋

  • @audreynelson3997
    @audreynelson3997 Рік тому +1

    “The slutty m&m” is my drag name

  • @acutierolls
    @acutierolls 2 роки тому +1

    2:50 Attn: Ted Sarandos, Netflix Content Heads, et. al.:
    GIVE! MATTEO! A! SPECIAL!

  • @dividedpersona
    @dividedpersona 2 роки тому

    We need more Mateos in the world to bring balance to the force.

  • @rygregory
    @rygregory Рік тому +1

    Oh man, that mango is delish! Mexican fruit stands are pretty common here in California.

    • @The_Crucible714
      @The_Crucible714 8 днів тому

      They do have fruit stands in NYC. I think many more are owned by Asians here. The Mexican food in LA SLAPS (but the Italian food is better in NY.)

  • @The_Legend_0-0-7
    @The_Legend_0-0-7 7 місяців тому

    Love the roast series and the new stuff ,great work

  • @gabrielsj365
    @gabrielsj365 2 роки тому +1

    All these bulls are bottoming 😂😂😂

  • @greggi47
    @greggi47 8 місяців тому +1

    It must have been much more interesting a worthwhile before the sleaze was "cleaned up', I read Samuel Delaney's book Times Square Red, Times Square Blue and have a secondhand sense of the humanity of the old setup.

    • @The_Crucible714
      @The_Crucible714 8 днів тому

      OMG! It was CRAZY back before it was “sanitized.” My first job in publishing was on 43rd St just off 8th Ave, right around the corner from the Adonis (gay) theater.

  • @morganpalmer5143
    @morganpalmer5143 2 роки тому +2

    Netflix, give this man a special!

  • @damnimloomin
    @damnimloomin 7 місяців тому +1

    Yes Matteo should be the new naked cowboy 💀

    • @The_Crucible714
      @The_Crucible714 8 днів тому

      That’s a “blast from the past” for me!💀😂

  • @nomanshigh3058
    @nomanshigh3058 2 роки тому

    Clips bought me here. Now I want that special. NETFLIX LOOKING AT YOU

  • @haleyeahguccimama
    @haleyeahguccimama 2 роки тому +5

    Fighting evil with moonlight
    Winning love by daylight
    Never running from a street fight
    She is the one named Sailor Moon!

  • @PawshankRedemption
    @PawshankRedemption Рік тому

    Oh my absolute!! You just brought me right back to New York! Love this!! ❤️❤️🐩

  • @TheFullmetal88m
    @TheFullmetal88m 2 роки тому +7

    "we have enough problems, we can't be adding chocolate cake to cheese cake" 😂

  • @gandfgandf5826
    @gandfgandf5826 2 роки тому +1

    "Gay squirrels love NY". There's a NYC tourism slogan

  • @Mooser2
    @Mooser2 2 роки тому

    Yoooo im so glad youtube shorts recommend me your channel you are hilarious

  • @Ophelia_Pain
    @Ophelia_Pain Рік тому

    Metteo Lane deserves, everything!!
    He deserves his own show!!!

  • @mattfortune8116
    @mattfortune8116 2 роки тому +1

    Yes finally someone notices...where are all the baritones! We need more bari songs!!!

  • @TischTosh
    @TischTosh 2 роки тому

    "Ok, no shade but....vanilla ice cream cone.....that's a low point" ....is shade, no? 😆 🤣

  • @TPark-rf3lt
    @TPark-rf3lt 5 місяців тому

    6:42 my favorite baritone has always been Howard Keel in "Kiss Me Kate" and yes.... bring the baritone back!

  • @BakaNeBaka
    @BakaNeBaka 2 роки тому +47

    This further reaffirms my disinclination to ever waste time, energy, money and effort to be in that part of the world, especially this part. It looks like a horrible tourist trap magnified a gazillion times.... UGH....

    • @eoincampbell1584
      @eoincampbell1584 2 роки тому +21

      Ok but I want to try all the different kinds of M&Ms

    • @sazji
      @sazji 2 роки тому +11

      Well, Times Square is a special little chunk of Disney-fied tourist dystopia in a really fascinating city. New York is not a place I’d want to live long-term, but I’m really glad it exists; it’s just it’s own reality.

    • @PerryPerfectPerson
      @PerryPerfectPerson 2 роки тому

      Damn lol who pissed in your mouth?

    • @TheFullmetal88m
      @TheFullmetal88m 2 роки тому +6

      @@sazji best quote from a song...."Live in California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Live in New York city once, but leave before it makes you hard" Wear Sunscreen by Baz Luhrmann

    • @bruceh4180
      @bruceh4180 2 роки тому

      @@eoincampbell1584 there are other locations to visit.

  • @RealmOfUnknown
    @RealmOfUnknown 2 роки тому

    I normally watch your shorts. But now all I get are thumbnails of your flexing while on podcasts 🤣. But definitely glad I found your content, always fun

  • @BrooklinnGorrlll
    @BrooklinnGorrlll 2 місяці тому

    6:58 I love that you referenced to Oklahoma because nobody ever does and that’s where I was born and raised. Oklahoma City.

  • @nigeltay7546
    @nigeltay7546 2 роки тому

    Okay the way they semi-planned the last shot, the reflection in puddle is actually beautiful

  • @tatertots2395
    @tatertots2395 2 роки тому +1

    Need more of these! And maybe bring some guests along like Schulzy

  • @TheMrbiggles94
    @TheMrbiggles94 2 роки тому

    I'm so mad that I wasn't working when you went to the disney store!

  • @michellegermaine2942
    @michellegermaine2942 2 роки тому +1

    Netflix give this man a special!!!

  • @alexwallace6120
    @alexwallace6120 2 роки тому

    Fantastic! I love all the comments when you were shopping! I really would love to see you in a Netflicks or other major network special .I hope all is well with your stand-up and life in general.

  • @shawncola123
    @shawncola123 2 роки тому +4

    Almond and chocolate is an iconic duo, much better than peanut

  • @stacjaemigracja
    @stacjaemigracja 2 роки тому

    The green M&M joke killed me. She is working in a library now hahahaahh…

  • @soofia_ahmad
    @soofia_ahmad 2 роки тому

    Do this when you come to DC!!

  • @MrVidau
    @MrVidau 2 роки тому +1

    GIVE THIS MAN A NETFLIX SPECIAL! Personally I vouch for him because the only other person who was able to make me scream-laugh besides Matteo was Louis CK.

  • @rachelw1076
    @rachelw1076 2 роки тому +1

    "I'm a Chicago stan..." ☆proceeds to order ketchup on a hot dog☆ 🤔

  • @adriandiaz8149
    @adriandiaz8149 2 роки тому +2

    You have to love the mango with Tajín!!

  • @sheenasolero
    @sheenasolero Рік тому

    Thanks for the tour!😊

  • @QueenOfAloha
    @QueenOfAloha Рік тому +1

    1:20 yass gay gasp

  • @notimetothink6786
    @notimetothink6786 2 роки тому

    I'm glad to see a gay channel that's not a lovely dovee couple, just a single gay man roasting everything. So relatable.

  • @stanislavsd
    @stanislavsd 2 роки тому

    Guy is a natural, just killin it!

  • @jameshadley7936
    @jameshadley7936 2 роки тому +3

    Love you Matteo .. enjoy NY. Also my husband Darren Marshall knew you year ago when starting out. Hugs 🫂

  • @RandoPersona
    @RandoPersona Рік тому +1

    I have a slutty green M&M mug 😂😂 haha

  • @Love_justice378
    @Love_justice378 2 роки тому

    Omg. Too many people. Thanks for the tour. Now I will stay clear of it. Lol

  • @Lord_Baphomet_
    @Lord_Baphomet_ 2 роки тому

    5:45 Manjo and Tajin is very very popular in the south… we would put Tajin on everything.. but it’s the best on watermelon

  • @thisjustin95
    @thisjustin95 2 роки тому

    The gasp following the, "they have pretzel m&m's?". Are they still your friend?!

  • @lifewriter7455
    @lifewriter7455 2 роки тому

    6:50 This voice... 7:20 That walk! 😃👍🖤

  • @riocunningham9823
    @riocunningham9823 2 роки тому

    "..and i dont know whyyyy" hahahahahahah

  • @Liz-in8lu
    @Liz-in8lu 2 роки тому

    Oh my god you are hilarious and very on point!!

  • @MaraStephenson
    @MaraStephenson 2 роки тому +2

    I love it Matteo!

  • @lingywingy
    @lingywingy 2 роки тому

    I was here just yesterday so now I’m frantically looking around for myself in the background

  • @gripp9k
    @gripp9k 2 роки тому

    Jean shorts were a choice :) love your stuff man!