Much of my life as an HSP I have avoided conflict and ran from it. Menopause taught me how to feel my anger, even rage. As uncomfortable as it was and is....I have learned to be more authentic in my self-care and communication with others. AND setting boundaries! It is liberating.
Interesting food for thought, Dr. Sage. Don't pick on yourself for going over your time limit. You have so much knowledge to share with us that you probably feel you can't get it all in with the time allotted. I eat up every bit of info you share and am still hungry for more. I am glad you went into the field you are in. Your personality is perfect for your chosen career! I'll listen to you no matter what is on your face 😊 Good luck with your surgery 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 ❤
I'm definitely a HSP. I struggle with loud sounds (cars for example or the many machines of the modern world in general :P), strong lights and crowds. I think I might be autistic, the "female" phenotype. I've never struggled with social interactions or cues though. I read that the condition that creates the social difficulties (alexythymia or something?) is independent of autism and non-autistic people can also have that. Maybe the rates are just higher among autistics? I dunno. I feel like these are unexplored fields. So, I think we need to label this more precisely. With my hsp senses (intuition or pattern recognition? I lean towards the latter - or I think, they're the same thing actually) I've always had this ability to just feel another person's emotions and struggles and traumas, it's like their past has tinted them in this specific shade of colour, I dunno. But I've always had this ability to just know other people's cores. And I think this is where we need to be more specific. Hsp autistics do not struggle with social interactions or understanding other people but they communicate in different (and might i add, often more authentic) ways ignoring social * convention * set by allistic people. Maybe because these conventions often make no sense? They're like learned traditional ways of speaking? Making wild guesses here. But I think, this is the difference. And this is why, autistics get labeled as socially inept by allistic people. In a world full of autistics, allistic people would be weird and stand out. And maybe get diagnosed with allistic disorder. I'm strongly convinced it's a neurotype and it's just as valid. The world as we know it was built by allistic people and is very hostile to all neurodivergent folks of any type
I had to learn how to walk, talk and eat with a fork all over again at the age of 21. I took years for me to be able to read an entire page in reasonable time and understand it. Academics was out of the question. I went to machinist school. I got in the trade and people would scream at me when I asked them to repeat themselves three times. I struggled with processing information. Now at the age of 53, I've dug into my memories that go before my trauma. I remember as a young kid just being socially distant and easily got confused with trying to understand people. I avoid crowds, especially noisy ones, as much as I can.
I was born [in South Africa] with a brain tumor that was diagnosed when I was 17 years old. [But] on the day I had my MRI, my scan and that of another patient were switched and we each had the [wrong] {brain surgery}. This has had [such] a profound impact on my life and I have never been able to recover from the trauma that I received from [both surgeries]. The doctors literally split my head in two with the first surgery and my tumor was located in the limbic system. But the fact that you mentioned multiple locations [in or very close to the limbic system] just causes me to connect even more with what you are saying. Long before my tumor was diagnosed I was removed from the regular curriculum for a year at about 9 years old and I received intensive [physical?] therapy where they put me in a hammock and twisted it so that it would spin around the other direction quite fast. These exercises would cause a regular person to become dizzy [very quickly] but it didn't cause me to feel dizzy for a long time- I only seemed to feel the effect much later in the year. But this information really sounds so much like I can relate to it. [Thankfully] my home life growing up was not my problem. But I had major trouble at school, with [a lot] of trouble with rejection from my peers. Unfortunately, both of my sons seem to have a similar problem with rejection, although my youngest son seems naturally outgoing. [Um] very long story much shortened- I moved to the USA 22 years ago and my ex was emotionally and psychologically abusive to me for most of the 10 years that we were married and now for 12 years has kept me as alienated from my sons as he possibly could. My sons were 5 years old and 15 months old when they were ripped right out of my life and they are now 17 and 13 years old. [More agony]. And I miss my mom, [who still lives in South Africa] so much. My dad passed away within days of it being 5 years ago.
@@DrKimSage No need for fear! Some 6-0 intra cutane technique and steri strips and you will be fine! I was afraid you do "plastic surgery". I assume you deal with lots of female clients with dismorphophobia. I worked in plastic surgery (almost no cosmetic but surgery for good reasons) Its devastating to see all those women trying for the best and be damaged for the rest of live. I would refuse to treat the most of them. Women, dont do injections or augmentation and so on. Stay natural. Natural is the only beauty.
Excellent points made in this video. I knew that I was HSP and hyper vigilant + overstimulated before I got my autism diagnosis. But the therapists that I have had say that I most likely don’t have ptsd or cptsd. It’s just my autism. But at any given time I talked to them, it really never felt like they were listening to me. It made me feel so invalidated by their general behavior in so many ways that the time with either one of them hurt me more than it helped. I’m still recovering from the last therapist and currently without help. The worst has been the stigma around d ASD and their wrong assumptions in combination with lack of knowledge.
I believe HSP is autism repackaged to be acceptable for women to have. There is a feedback loop between research done on autistic men/boys, clinician bias in diagnosis, and media portrayal. There is also a harmful stereotype that autistic people don’t have empathy so many women (who are socialized to be and primarily valued as caretakers) don’t see themselves in the diagnosis I have known I was autistic since reading Samantha Crafts checklist for autistic women 15 years ago. Every therapist I went to invalidated me saying I was an “empath” or “HSP.” This delayed my diagnosis by an over a decade and I missed out on so much self acceptance, work/school accommodations, improved relationships etc. Now I’m a therapist working with autistic adults and I try to be the therapist I needed back then. I have learned so much about trauma because that is primarily the work I do with folks (after establishing a safe sensory environment and supports). I hope we can start shifting the stereotypes about autism so more folks can benefit from this self knowledge. Autism is an evolutionary advantage that drives innovation, we are passionate creative and have deep knowledge in our areas of interest, but we often require support to thrive.
@EameussiaKhrythonotes, very interesting. I too was initially diagnosed as being a HSP, but I also self-diagnosed, for aspects that the therapist was confused about, as high sensation seeking (HSS). Quite some years later, while looking up information about autism because my elder son consistently failed to see certain social cues, I came across a video by an autistic person describing their own internal experience growing up with high functioning autism/Aspergers. It was as if they had read my memories and were reading them back to me, but with a few things changed to make the stories sound like they were from different situations, but with the same personal and emotional effects. I've since done a number of tests and found that I'm likely to be a high masking autist with low support needs. Since then, I've also noticed the distinct similarities between HSS and ADHD, which now leads me to suspect that I may be an AuDHD, rather than an HSP/HSS. Do you know if anyone has studied HSS and ADHD to see if they are in fact the same condition? It would also be interesting to know whether HSPs have the same double-empathy communication problem with their neurotypical peers as many (most? All?) autists do. If I don't want to connect while showing empathy, I'll use a neurotypical type short response to check the social acceptability box, and I'll try to feel for them what I would feel if it were me, so my response can be genuine, with the appropriate body language, while not wanting to connect. If I do want to connect, I relay a similar experience I've had, so the other person can know that I truly do have some idea of how they feel. NTs, however, don't seem to understand this, and they seem to think I'm making it about me, when I'm really saying "this is how you can know that I truly understand what you're going through, and I'm here to help you through it." There are also two other levels that I experience: taking on the other person's emotions (or reacting in defence of them), whether I intend to do it or not (it sounds incongruous with what I've already said, but my automatic reactions vary considerably, and this is one of the variations), and; getting unpleasant nerve sensations in the backs of my legs when someone describes something that happened that was painful (again, absolutely automatic, whether I want it or not - disappeared completely while on antidepressants, and came back when I got off them, so maybe serotonin-related?). I do have alexithymia, so maybe that's why I feel the need to conjure up the appropriate emotion in myself to reflect back the appropriate social cues, where the automatic stuff is simply big enough that it can't be mistaken. Anyway, hopefully I'm another datapoint to help you to help others. 😁
I have siblings diagnosed as on Asperger's spectrum. They don't seem to sense the feelings of others so much unless others would verbally describe how they feel. I can often automatically sense how others are feeling without the need for anything at all to even need to be said
Thanks, right now I feel surrounded by people who judge me, roll their eyes and a unexpected noise startles me…a lot. My empathy for others is extreme & find myself helping people ends up with their scorn. Same with avoiding fighting even when people are mean. And I am emotional and constantly told I am too sensitive and feel hyper vigilant.
I'm a HSP and had childhood trauma. Was always told to "toughen up". Ha! Right! Late discovered ASD and ADHD. Misdiagnosed and treated with toxic drugs that never helped. This is all so true! Thank you!
You described my whole life. Adhd and Autistic with ptsd. Lots of trauma throughout my life. It can make life pretty hard at times especially with all the other things those mental disabilities come with. Its also difficult when you are having issues and no one wants to listen or believe you because that can't physically see you are disabled unless you are having a crisis or a meltdown. That to can be pretty trauma for me as well.
This explains so much about my mom, my daughter, and me. Mom experienced several different kinds of childhood trauma (her father was not a nice person). I had loving parents, but I still experienced trauma. My ex husband (my daughter's father) was abusive and narcissistic. My daughter and I are both only children. All 3 of us are most likely on the spectrum. This is helping me to put some pieces together.
I'm sorry - I am a Christian with a highly narc mother and an alcoholic father - I am 60 now, a late diagnodes asperger autistic women with cptsd at the least... and I really do not think that foregiveness can be asked of someone who has experienced all of this - it can come out of the healing process as a descision someone will make for him-/herself .... but spirtual bypassing (~foregiving... and boom everybody and everything will be fine) is no solution!!! It do not take in account the "soul murder" that one had to endure...
For me learning about these things like cptsd after narc abuse and autism spectrum and educating myself combined with a body-orinted trauma-therapy like from Peter Levine or Laurence Heller (developmrntal trauma) helped me a lot to heal. I myself forgave my parents but that dies not mean I will allow them to hurt me again and again... boundaries and a healthy self-protection are very important. Maybe the book of Pete Walker "CPTSD - from surviving to thriving" can help along the way.
To you Carmied76: thank you very much for your feedback! I am grateful that my thoughts could help you find words you need in the process. It is not an easy path to go, but it is worth every tear you will cry and every pain you will experience while you are healing - and this for sure is possible for all three of you!!!
Don't get a highly strung small yappy dog with a shrill bark. My mom has one. If she barks I jump. If I jump, she barks. We set each other off all the time.
Beautifully Said! I can relate to all the above, starting from early childhood, in an abusive home; transitioned to further PTSD from a tour in Iraq, with constant mortars coming in. This has further been exacerbated by having a severely epileptic and autistic child, as a single, widowed mother. I am always optimistic and find the beauty in the silver linings. It’s not easy, but we both have beaten the odds 🙏🏻❤️🙏🏻. He’s my Angel, Hero, and Life! ❤️🥰❤️
Thank you Yes just got diagnosed at 39 October 21 2024 with Autism Level 1 High Masking test was very high and ADHD on July 9 2024. I am also in Peri-menopause. I been through alot of abuse. Strong perfumes, etc 😢 I have hyper empathy and its exhausting
I threw a lot of tantrums as a child over little things that felt overwhelming and my sister would make fun of me. Why was life not overwhelming for others? I can’t believe I never had a single person spot the signs.
I know it's not ideal but I've essentially cut myself off from everyone. I only have one person that has my phone number and they live in NZ whilst I am in Australia. I am not lonely. I actually do better this way even though I know isolation is not good in the long run. I actually sit there sometimes and say out loud " I love this. I feel safe". I've made it a point of keeping plants and animals in my life. Since I don't carry any electronic device (exception camcorder) with me when I go out I have actually been able to make contact with wild birds and befriend them. It's been a real treat to win the trust of these animals and it wouldn't of happened without my traits of routinely going to the same spots and keeping myself distant from other people. When I was younger back in my teens I actually rang the Bureau of Meteorology and asked if they needed people to Mann remote weather stations. They thought it was somewhat amusing and peculiar but I genuinely use to fantasize about being stuck out on a rocky island somewhere measuring the weather. For me that would be a gift. I love recording Weather data and I like journalling so being stuck in a remote outpost would be an awesome outcome if I could of secured it. Since that outcome wasn't possible to secure I have essentially made my own "island' whilst being surrounded by the city. It's much like Simon and Art Garfumkel said ...." I am a rock . I am an Island. And a rock feels not pain. And an Island never cries". I was in the Doctor's surgery a couple of years back and they asked me for an Emergency Contact for my file. I literally had no one in Australia that I could put down. They sat there quite perplexed and said "surely you have one person to put down" and I had to tell them I have no friends and I have ceased all contact with my family. My big "fear" is dying alone and no one knowing about it. Although It's an irrational premise since I would be dead so it doesn't affect me but for some reason I don't like the thought of leaving the World that way. It just seems like a total failure but I'm sure I'm not the only one in that circumstance. Certainly not how I thought life would pan out. edit typos
OMG! I totally relate to what you wrote. Thank you for sharing. I am estranged from all family except my (dying) Mom and my husband. He is ND so I got lucky because I didn't discover my ND until after marriage. I love being alone though and fear growing old and dying alone as hubby is older than me. I always wonder about what would happen if i was in a medical situation as you described and nobody. Could happen. ❤ to you!
@@dimpsthealien333 Thanks ..a big ❤ right back. You'll miss mum when she goes. The last parent to leave is different to burying the first. I didn't realize this until mum passed in 2017. You become the "Orphaned Adult"....it's an odd feeling when you don't have any parents in the World. Parents always seemed immortal when growing up and when they are finally both gone it is a strange feeling on top of the natural grief. Did both of you being ND hinder things in any way? I know you said you got lucky but is there a down side to both being ND? Just curious. Are you estranged from your family by your own choice or is just how things morphed? See, I'm doing the whole 20 questions thing . I'm always curious about other people's World View but I don't always see that people aren't interested in supplementary questions! The older I'm getting the more I think we're not so much ND as that would suggest that mainstream have got it all wired and they most definitely don't. In fact I think part of our struggle is that we are trying to maintain a certain degree of peace in an ill and regressive society. Perhaps some of our behaviours are not so much divergent but adaptive. We are trying to adapt to a society that is antithetical to our World View. Just a thought. I wish you well. I ducked over and had a look at some of your vids. Plants and animals....well done. There is a natural symbiosis between us and them. When we watch Sci Fi we think of "Earthlings" as being humans. But really animals and plants are Earthlings as well. We spend billions trying to see if there is an Amoeba on Mars when we have have only scratched the surface of understanding life on Earth. 🤔❓❓
@AlecJohn-c5o I enjoy reading your thoughts. All very interesting. I like the idea that we are neuro adaptive vs neuro divergent. Yes! I am aware of the feelings of being an orphan as my mom told me that's how she felt after her mom passed. I certainly don't look forward to that. My family is not in my life for many reasons. All by my choice because of their toxic ways. I no longer wished to remain in communication with any of them. It didn't happen all at once. Slowly but surely they revealed their true selves and I just don't have room in my life for that dysfunction. I am doing the best I can to better myself and heal after years of trauma. I truly enjoy being married to my ND husband. I knew nothing of my ND side before marriage. And actually, he was the most "normal" human I ever knew. Now I know it's because of our similar "operating systems". Of course nothing in life is perfect, but it's wonderful and I feel fortunate. Thanks for checking out my vids. Maybe subscribe. I put out new videos every now and then.
@@dimpsthealien333 Thanks for answering my supplementary questions. 🙂 It's great how things worked out for you. Imagine going the other way and getting hitched with someone that had no idea what you were going through...that would be worse than being alone. I am the youngest of 8 kids and I have 6 older Brothers which means i landed 5 sister in laws.....there is not one marriage there I am remotely envious of. My Brother's wives are awful people....don't miss them at all. I'll duck over and subscribe. Cheers.
Hello, a lot of these I resonate with. I’m an introvert too. I was diagnosed with Bipolar 2 recently and I’m learning sensitivity is common with that as well.
Does autism involve some “ocd” like symptoms… I do some odd things like back when I used the dish washer I HAD to have all the forks, spoons, knives divided.. I couldn’t stand when they were mixed together, or just throwing them in all together. Same with plates and bowls. I need all the plates with plates and facing the same way. Literally making sure the stupid dishwasher was “organized.” With my clothes I divide them with tops must be washed with tops. Underwear and socks must be washed together (the bottoms.) Towels by themselves. Sheets by themselves. Blankets by themselves. It literally urks me to throw all these random clothes to be washed together and I just “can’t do it.” The towels must be perfectly folded, and if they’re not I will re fold them until they are to my liking. At my job I have this perfectionism with different things that people couldn’t care less about. It slows me down when we’re required to be fast, however I can’t just “do it.” It has to BE PERFECT, and I’ve been told this by numerous bosses, “it doesn’t have to be perfect.” I literally cut fruit and I want my pineapple and watermelon to be perfect cubes/squares. I already know I am an HSP. I figured that out long ago and even at my job I turn the lights off and we’re technically not allowed to, but I work overnight so I do it.. the lights are fluorescent and I HATE THEM. I also work overnight to work alone. I can’t stand working around people. Too much energy, too much noise, etc. The only thing I’m not understanding is the perfectionism/weird habits that I know don’t bother people at all, yet it causes me anxiety that is so STUPID!!!! Anybody reading this is probably like my god that’s so ridiculous and I know it is, but in my head I just cannot NOT do it the way I have it in my head how it “should be.”
You like things to be done in a certain way, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with doing these tasks in a particular manner. You should actually get an award for your housekeeping skills!
@citygirl713 No! I wish I could offer you some advice but I can't. I had an episode in my life which only lasted a couple of longggg years. It is debilitating, as you know🤯 I've known several people who have battled this the better part of their adult lives. One was an eyebrow tweezer to the point of self mutilation.
I am i therapy and was told by my therapist that i was a HSP because it took me a really long time to overcome a traumatic experience i have had a work as a result of bullying due to me being asocial. She mentioned that i may also be autistic. I now have a new therapist who has also mentioned the same. I also have a daughter that is autistic. I still had my doubts about me being on the spectrum, but after watching this video, I think that I actually might be as I can relate to a lot of what was said 😢.
We like long videos, I could listen to you all day. Thanks for this one. I’ve always been HSP but lately I’ve been suspecting I’m actually ASD (I’m already diagnosed with ADHD, so it would not be a stretch). But I’m so highly functioning that I’m not sure
Did anyone else get called "tightly wound" a lot? Also, I'm coming to think that slow processing time (and therefore everyone else being "over it" well before I am) only adds to the number of traumatic experiences.
Im self diagnosed with autism , adhd, ptsd, ocd, dislexia and im pssing now throught the proces for diagnosis. im very scary , terifing to dont get me wrong what i was meaning and get missunderstood.usualy this happen and i feel i cant breath
It is not only bright lighting that can be challenging for people. I actually prefer bright lighting because it helps my brain process, dim lighting is where I struggle, especially when there is uneven lighting. I have 3 main lighting fixtures in my great room. If the two outer lights are on, but the center light is off, it instantly triggers dysregulation. However, I am fine if only one light is on, or the center and either end lights are on.
this all resonates, i wish though you could have your reading material directly in front of you and the camera. This makes sensitive when you’re reading off the script .
I personally believe the way to describe autism to someone who doesn't understand it is to say that small everyday things or every day life or parts of it can and will be in varying degrees experienced as traumatic, which is why it takes way longer than the average person to recover from the day or incident. But the recovery time makes you more reactive like people with ptsd to all the stimuly and since you can't just hit pause on life and stop incoming overwhelm recovery is very difficult to accomplish. I had tried making contacts online and with some people even though I never met them and had maybe even a pleasant chat topicwise, I was shaking, maybe even started crying from overwhelm (ended the conversation in that one case), couldn't sleep for weeks , couldn't relax my muscles even when trying to relax, got my first strand of gray hair and a rash 😑 Needless to say I have put my efforts on hold and get extremely mad when someone just recommends finding jesus or progressive muscle relaxation when I share that I feel defeated about my situation. It shows how much it is unrelatable to others. I am not into calling it "just a different neuro type" People need support and that comes with a diagnosis. If it wasn't a disorder people didn't need a diagnosis because if it didn't cause intense struggles and problems there wasn't a diagnosis for it
same. my mom would do all the things that would make a child overly sensitive (constant criticism, yelling, drinking, going on random rages) but then be angry at me for becoming “sensitive” to all of the turmoil around me. the funny thing is, now that i’m older i can see that she is actually much more sensitive than me.. she just can’t handle it.
How do I get a assessment for autism as an adult? I'm from the upper northern New England area in the states and can't find anyone who does it. I don't know how I wasn't diagnosed as a child or as an adult being in therapy and I really believe misdiagnosed over the years. Thank you for taking the time to read this and for any feedback. Thank you for your videos.
I don’t have recs but I follow Dr Jessica Myszak on TikTok and she’s very informed and does assessments in diff states. You might google her and see - while I can’t vouch for her I’ve followed her a long time and she’s highly up to date re autism. Also please research the pros and cons of an official diagnosis ❤
im 65, and have been totally unfunctional my whole life, sub abuse, eating disorders, self harm, cant hold a job, cant connect or get close to people. no therapist or doctor has ever taken the time to diagnose me with anything, they just diag me with MDD but i know theres alot more going on than that.
Does it mean you've been taking medication your whole life? I'm asking as I'm also barely functional and everything overwhelms me so easily... having chronic insomnia for years, and doctors never diagnosed me with anything, not even with insomnia 😂 but i'm a bit afraid to take medication for my whole life, fear of side effects gives me anxiety
We know for sure that hsp as it is stated in the modern take comes from a book done by a woman original whom based it on those in her family whom later were diagnosed autistic.... it's a term that's never been an official diagnosis and has harmed the autism community as it's another way to get into 'aspie supremacy'. It's a way to say i'm not one of 'those' people.
I think you're right about autism but also ADHD. I don't believe HSP is a thing without neurodivergence - ADHD, Autism, even Dyslexia can combine to make someone extremely sensitive. That's what does it and more people should be getting diagnosed rather than assuming they're HSP when it's very likely to be ADHD or ASD.
Could you please get to the pionts faster and then fill in the details after? Im not trying to be disrespectful, but I lose interest before you ever make it to your 1st point.
Much of my life as an HSP I have avoided conflict and ran from it. Menopause taught me how to feel my anger, even rage. As uncomfortable as it was and is....I have learned to be more authentic in my self-care and communication with others. AND setting boundaries! It is liberating.
I'm just getting into this myself. It's scary but very hopeful.
Thank you for this contribution, it brings comfort to know that maybe I too will achieve this in the years to come
Same! 🙌🏻
Me too
I'm a HSP with childhood trauma. You are right on with the highly attuned sensitivty.
Most Annointed and prophetic ppl do go through a lot of childhood trauma.
All of the reasonate with me.
I understand why people called me "too sensitive" or jumpy.
I do not think it is negative as they implied.
I do as it is horrible to be this way!!! Horrible!
@Portia620 In what way is it horrible? I do not find it horrible to be sensitive or to be startled easily.
Interesting food for thought, Dr. Sage. Don't pick on yourself for going over your time limit. You have so much knowledge to share with us that you probably feel you can't get it all in with the time allotted. I eat up every bit of info you share and am still hungry for more. I am glad you went into the field you are in. Your personality is perfect for your chosen career! I'll listen to you no matter what is on your face 😊 Good luck with your surgery 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 ❤
Thank you so much!!❤❤❤
I'm definitely a HSP. I struggle with loud sounds (cars for example or the many machines of the modern world in general :P), strong lights and crowds. I think I might be autistic, the "female" phenotype. I've never struggled with social interactions or cues though. I read that the condition that creates the social difficulties (alexythymia or something?) is independent of autism and non-autistic people can also have that. Maybe the rates are just higher among autistics? I dunno. I feel like these are unexplored fields. So, I think we need to label this more precisely. With my hsp senses (intuition or pattern recognition? I lean towards the latter - or I think, they're the same thing actually) I've always had this ability to just feel another person's emotions and struggles and traumas, it's like their past has tinted them in this specific shade of colour, I dunno. But I've always had this ability to just know other people's cores. And I think this is where we need to be more specific. Hsp autistics do not struggle with social interactions or understanding other people but they communicate in different (and might i add, often more authentic) ways ignoring social * convention * set by allistic people. Maybe because these conventions often make no sense? They're like learned traditional ways of speaking? Making wild guesses here. But I think, this is the difference. And this is why, autistics get labeled as socially inept by allistic people. In a world full of autistics, allistic people would be weird and stand out. And maybe get diagnosed with allistic disorder. I'm strongly convinced it's a neurotype and it's just as valid. The world as we know it was built by allistic people and is very hostile to all neurodivergent folks of any type
I had to learn how to walk, talk and eat with a fork all over again at the age of 21. I took years for me to be able to read an entire page in reasonable time and understand it. Academics was out of the question. I went to machinist school. I got in the trade and people would scream at me when I asked them to repeat themselves three times. I struggled with processing information.
Now at the age of 53, I've dug into my memories that go before my trauma. I remember as a young kid just being socially distant and easily got confused with trying to understand people. I avoid crowds, especially noisy ones, as much as I can.
I hear ya.❤
I was born [in South Africa] with a brain tumor that was diagnosed when I was 17 years old. [But] on the day I had my MRI, my scan and that of another patient were switched and we each had the [wrong] {brain surgery}. This has had [such] a profound impact on my life and I have never been able to recover from the trauma that I received from [both surgeries]. The doctors literally split my head in two with the first surgery and my tumor was located in the limbic system. But the fact that you mentioned multiple locations [in or very close to the limbic system] just causes me to connect even more with what you are saying. Long before my tumor was diagnosed I was removed from the regular curriculum for a year at about 9 years old and I received intensive [physical?] therapy where they put me in a hammock and twisted it so that it would spin around the other direction quite fast. These exercises would cause a regular person to become dizzy [very quickly] but it didn't cause me to feel dizzy for a long time- I only seemed to feel the effect much later in the year. But this information really sounds so much like I can relate to it. [Thankfully] my home life growing up was not my problem. But I had major trouble at school, with [a lot] of trouble with rejection from my peers. Unfortunately, both of my sons seem to have a similar problem with rejection, although my youngest son seems naturally outgoing. [Um] very long story much shortened- I moved to the USA 22 years ago and my ex was emotionally and psychologically abusive to me for most of the 10 years that we were married and now for 12 years has kept me as alienated from my sons as he possibly could. My sons were 5 years old and 15 months old when they were ripped right out of my life and they are now 17 and 13 years old. [More agony]. And I miss my mom, [who still lives in South Africa] so much. My dad passed away within days of it being 5 years ago.
You are the first professional person who could show me who I am as an HSP/autistic woman and that revelation has changed my life! Thank you❤
I’m an HSP 💯 with childhood trauma- just realized there’s nothing wrong with me 🎉 no matter how others and family said otherwise
I'm wishing you well and praying that your biopsy comes out well 🙏
Thank you!!❤❤❤
@@DrKimSage No need for fear! Some 6-0 intra cutane technique and steri strips and you will be fine! I was afraid you do "plastic surgery". I assume you deal with lots of female clients with dismorphophobia. I worked in plastic surgery (almost no cosmetic but surgery for good reasons) Its devastating to see all those women trying for the best and be damaged for the rest of live. I would refuse to treat the most of them. Women, dont do injections or augmentation and so on. Stay natural. Natural is the only beauty.
You're very welcome @@DrKimSage
Excellent points made in this video.
I knew that I was HSP and hyper vigilant + overstimulated before I got my autism diagnosis.
But the therapists that I have had say that I most likely don’t have ptsd or cptsd. It’s just my autism.
But at any given time I talked to them, it really never felt like they were listening to me.
It made me feel so invalidated by their general behavior in so many ways that the time with either one of them hurt me more than it helped. I’m still recovering from the last therapist and currently without help.
The worst has been the stigma around d ASD and their wrong assumptions in combination with lack of knowledge.
I believe HSP is autism repackaged to be acceptable for women to have. There is a feedback loop between research done on autistic men/boys, clinician bias in diagnosis, and media portrayal. There is also a harmful stereotype that autistic people don’t have empathy so many women (who are socialized to be and primarily valued as caretakers) don’t see themselves in the diagnosis
I have known I was autistic since reading Samantha Crafts checklist for autistic women 15 years ago. Every therapist I went to invalidated me saying I was an “empath” or “HSP.” This delayed my diagnosis by an over a decade and I missed out on so much self acceptance, work/school accommodations, improved relationships etc.
Now I’m a therapist working with autistic adults and I try to be the therapist I needed back then. I have learned so much about trauma because that is primarily the work I do with folks (after establishing a safe sensory environment and supports). I hope we can start shifting the stereotypes about autism so more folks can benefit from this self knowledge.
Autism is an evolutionary advantage that drives innovation, we are passionate creative and have deep knowledge in our areas of interest, but we often require support to thrive.
@EameussiaKhrythonotes, very interesting. I too was initially diagnosed as being a HSP, but I also self-diagnosed, for aspects that the therapist was confused about, as high sensation seeking (HSS). Quite some years later, while looking up information about autism because my elder son consistently failed to see certain social cues, I came across a video by an autistic person describing their own internal experience growing up with high functioning autism/Aspergers. It was as if they had read my memories and were reading them back to me, but with a few things changed to make the stories sound like they were from different situations, but with the same personal and emotional effects. I've since done a number of tests and found that I'm likely to be a high masking autist with low support needs. Since then, I've also noticed the distinct similarities between HSS and ADHD, which now leads me to suspect that I may be an AuDHD, rather than an HSP/HSS.
Do you know if anyone has studied HSS and ADHD to see if they are in fact the same condition?
It would also be interesting to know whether HSPs have the same double-empathy communication problem with their neurotypical peers as many (most? All?) autists do. If I don't want to connect while showing empathy, I'll use a neurotypical type short response to check the social acceptability box, and I'll try to feel for them what I would feel if it were me, so my response can be genuine, with the appropriate body language, while not wanting to connect. If I do want to connect, I relay a similar experience I've had, so the other person can know that I truly do have some idea of how they feel. NTs, however, don't seem to understand this, and they seem to think I'm making it about me, when I'm really saying "this is how you can know that I truly understand what you're going through, and I'm here to help you through it." There are also two other levels that I experience: taking on the other person's emotions (or reacting in defence of them), whether I intend to do it or not (it sounds incongruous with what I've already said, but my automatic reactions vary considerably, and this is one of the variations), and; getting unpleasant nerve sensations in the backs of my legs when someone describes something that happened that was painful (again, absolutely automatic, whether I want it or not - disappeared completely while on antidepressants, and came back when I got off them, so maybe serotonin-related?). I do have alexithymia, so maybe that's why I feel the need to conjure up the appropriate emotion in myself to reflect back the appropriate social cues, where the automatic stuff is simply big enough that it can't be mistaken. Anyway, hopefully I'm another datapoint to help you to help others. 😁
I have siblings diagnosed as on Asperger's spectrum. They don't seem to sense the feelings of others so much unless others would verbally describe how they feel. I can often automatically sense how others are feeling without the need for anything at all to even need to be said
Thanks, right now I feel surrounded by people who judge me, roll their eyes and a unexpected noise startles me…a lot. My empathy for others is extreme & find myself helping people ends up with their scorn. Same with avoiding fighting even when people are mean. And I am emotional and constantly told I am too sensitive and feel hyper vigilant.
I am definitely a hsp, never diagnosed with autism or adhd but i wonder...thanks for the info
The first thing I thought when you said it was early was Wow! She’s beautiful .
I'm a HSP and had childhood trauma. Was always told to "toughen up". Ha! Right! Late discovered ASD and ADHD. Misdiagnosed and treated with toxic drugs that never helped. This is all so true! Thank you!
You described my whole life. Adhd and Autistic with ptsd. Lots of trauma throughout my life. It can make life pretty hard at times especially with all the other things those mental disabilities come with. Its also difficult when you are having issues and no one wants to listen or believe you because that can't physically see you are disabled unless you are having a crisis or a meltdown. That to can be pretty trauma for me as well.
This explains so much about my mom, my daughter, and me. Mom experienced several different kinds of childhood trauma (her father was not a nice person). I had loving parents, but I still experienced trauma. My ex husband (my daughter's father) was abusive and narcissistic. My daughter and I are both only children. All 3 of us are most likely on the spectrum. This is helping me to put some pieces together.
Try forgiveness. Your grandpa, and your ex are humans, and must have vulnerabilities, and good . Forgiveness will give you relief.
I'm sorry - I am a Christian with a highly narc mother and an alcoholic father - I am 60 now, a late diagnodes asperger autistic women with cptsd at the least... and I really do not think that foregiveness can be asked of someone who has experienced all of this - it can come out of the healing process as a descision someone will make for him-/herself .... but spirtual bypassing (~foregiving... and boom everybody and everything will be fine) is no solution!!! It do not take in account the "soul murder" that one had to endure...
For me learning about these things like cptsd after narc abuse and autism spectrum and educating myself combined with a body-orinted trauma-therapy like from Peter Levine or Laurence Heller (developmrntal trauma) helped me a lot to heal. I myself forgave my parents but that dies not mean I will allow them to hurt me again and again... boundaries and a healthy self-protection are very important. Maybe the book of Pete Walker "CPTSD - from surviving to thriving" can help along the way.
@@Luise-j7f Agreed! This goes way beyond forgiveness, and I just wasn't sure how to word that. You did that beautifully!
To you Carmied76: thank you very much for your feedback! I am grateful that my thoughts could help you find words you need in the process. It is not an easy path to go, but it is worth every tear you will cry and every pain you will experience while you are healing - and this for sure is possible for all three of you!!!
Don't get a highly strung small yappy dog with a shrill bark. My mom has one. If she barks I jump. If I jump, she barks. We set each other off all the time.
Kimberly keep Rocking That Hairstyle!!!Yea!!!
Beautifully Said! I can relate to all the above, starting from early childhood, in an abusive home; transitioned to further PTSD from a tour in Iraq, with constant mortars coming in. This has further been exacerbated by having a severely epileptic and autistic child, as a single, widowed mother. I am always optimistic and find the beauty in the silver linings. It’s not easy, but we both have beaten the odds 🙏🏻❤️🙏🏻. He’s my Angel, Hero, and Life! ❤️🥰❤️
Not on the topic of your Chanel, but I love your decorating.
Thank you Yes just got diagnosed at 39 October 21 2024 with Autism Level 1 High Masking test was very high and ADHD on July 9 2024. I am also in Peri-menopause. I been through alot of abuse. Strong perfumes, etc 😢 I have hyper empathy and its exhausting
I threw a lot of tantrums as a child over little things that felt overwhelming and my sister would make fun of me. Why was life not overwhelming for others? I can’t believe I never had a single person spot the signs.
Dr. Kim, what is the research on the juncture of ASD/HSP and generational trauma?
Oh my gosh this is so affirming. I feel a bit less crazy/broken thank you 🙏🏿🌸
I know it's not ideal but I've essentially cut myself off from everyone. I only have one person that has my phone number and they live in NZ whilst I am in Australia.
I am not lonely. I actually do better this way even though I know isolation is not good in the long run. I actually sit there sometimes and say out loud " I love this. I feel safe".
I've made it a point of keeping plants and animals in my life. Since I don't carry any electronic device (exception camcorder) with me when I go out I have actually been able to make contact with wild birds and befriend them.
It's been a real treat to win the trust of these animals and it wouldn't of happened without my traits of routinely going to the same spots and keeping myself distant from other people.
When I was younger back in my teens I actually rang the Bureau of Meteorology and asked if they needed people to Mann remote weather stations. They thought it was somewhat amusing and peculiar but I genuinely use to fantasize about being stuck out on a rocky island somewhere measuring the weather. For me that would be a gift. I love recording Weather data and I like journalling so being stuck in a remote outpost would be an awesome outcome if I could of secured it.
Since that outcome wasn't possible to secure I have essentially made my own "island' whilst being surrounded by the city. It's much like Simon and Art Garfumkel said ...." I am a rock . I am an Island. And a rock feels not pain. And an Island never cries".
I was in the Doctor's surgery a couple of years back and they asked me for an Emergency Contact for my file. I literally had no one in Australia that I could put down. They sat there quite perplexed and said "surely you have one person to put down" and I had to tell them I have no friends and I have ceased all contact with my family.
My big "fear" is dying alone and no one knowing about it. Although It's an irrational premise since I would be dead so it doesn't affect me but for some reason I don't like the thought of leaving the World that way. It just seems like a total failure but I'm sure I'm not the only one in that circumstance. Certainly not how I thought life would pan out.
edit typos
OMG! I totally relate to what you wrote. Thank you for sharing. I am estranged from all family except my (dying) Mom and my husband. He is ND so I got lucky because I didn't discover my ND until after marriage. I love being alone though and fear growing old and dying alone as hubby is older than me. I always wonder about what would happen if i was in a medical situation as you described and nobody. Could happen. ❤ to you!
@@dimpsthealien333 Thanks ..a big ❤ right back.
You'll miss mum when she goes. The last parent to leave is different to burying the first. I didn't realize this until mum passed in 2017. You become the "Orphaned Adult"....it's an odd feeling when you don't have any parents in the World. Parents always seemed immortal when growing up and when they are finally both gone it is a strange feeling on top of the natural grief.
Did both of you being ND hinder things in any way? I know you said you got lucky but is there a down side to both being ND? Just curious.
Are you estranged from your family by your own choice or is just how things morphed?
See, I'm doing the whole 20 questions thing . I'm always curious about other people's World View but I don't always see that people aren't interested in supplementary questions!
The older I'm getting the more I think we're not so much ND as that would suggest that mainstream have got it all wired and they most definitely don't. In fact I think part of our struggle is that we are trying to maintain a certain degree of peace in an ill and regressive society.
Perhaps some of our behaviours are not so much divergent but adaptive. We are trying to adapt to a society that is antithetical to our World View. Just a thought.
I wish you well. I ducked over and had a look at some of your vids. Plants and animals....well done. There is a natural symbiosis between us and them. When we watch Sci Fi we think of "Earthlings" as being humans. But really animals and plants are Earthlings as well. We spend billions trying to see if there is an Amoeba on Mars when we have have only scratched the surface of understanding life on Earth. 🤔❓❓
@AlecJohn-c5o
I enjoy reading your thoughts. All very interesting. I like the idea that we are neuro adaptive vs neuro divergent.
Yes! I am aware of the feelings of being an orphan as my mom told me that's how she felt after her mom passed. I certainly don't look forward to that.
My family is not in my life for many reasons. All by my choice because of their toxic ways. I no longer wished to remain in communication with any of them. It didn't happen all at once. Slowly but surely they revealed their true selves and I just don't have room in my life for that dysfunction. I am doing the best I can to better myself and heal after years of trauma.
I truly enjoy being married to my ND husband. I knew nothing of my ND side before marriage. And actually, he was the most "normal" human I ever knew. Now I know it's because of our similar "operating systems". Of course nothing in life is perfect, but it's wonderful and I feel fortunate.
Thanks for checking out my vids. Maybe subscribe. I put out new videos every now and then.
@@dimpsthealien333 Thanks for answering my supplementary questions. 🙂
It's great how things worked out for you. Imagine going the other way and getting hitched with someone that had no idea what you were going through...that would be worse than being alone.
I am the youngest of 8 kids and I have 6 older Brothers which means i landed 5 sister in laws.....there is not one marriage there I am remotely envious of. My Brother's wives are awful people....don't miss them at all.
I'll duck over and subscribe. Cheers.
@AlecJohn-c5o excellent on the subscription.
I wish you the very best. Thank you for the conversation. And I enjoyed the questions.
Hello, a lot of these I resonate with. I’m an introvert too. I was diagnosed with Bipolar 2 recently and I’m learning sensitivity is common with that as well.
Does autism involve some “ocd” like symptoms… I do some odd things like back when I used the dish washer I HAD to have all the forks, spoons, knives divided.. I couldn’t stand when they were mixed together, or just throwing them in all together. Same with plates and bowls. I need all the plates with plates and facing the same way. Literally making sure the stupid dishwasher was “organized.” With my clothes I divide them with tops must be washed with tops. Underwear and socks must be washed together (the bottoms.) Towels by themselves. Sheets by themselves. Blankets by themselves. It literally urks me to throw all these random clothes to be washed together and I just “can’t do it.” The towels must be perfectly folded, and if they’re not I will re fold them until they are to my liking. At my job I have this perfectionism with different things that people couldn’t care less about. It slows me down when we’re required to be fast, however I can’t just “do it.” It has to BE PERFECT, and I’ve been told this by numerous bosses, “it doesn’t have to be perfect.” I literally cut fruit and I want my pineapple and watermelon to be perfect cubes/squares. I already know I am an HSP. I figured that out long ago and even at my job I turn the lights off and we’re technically not allowed to, but I work overnight so I do it.. the lights are fluorescent and I HATE THEM. I also work overnight to work alone. I can’t stand working around people. Too much energy, too much noise, etc. The only thing I’m not understanding is the perfectionism/weird habits that I know don’t bother people at all, yet it causes me anxiety that is so STUPID!!!! Anybody reading this is probably like my god that’s so ridiculous and I know it is, but in my head I just cannot NOT do it the way I have it in my head how it “should be.”
@citygirl713 I understand 😢
@@dianedeferrari3888 you understand? You mean I’m not alone in this bizarro behavior 💗?
You like things to be done in a certain way, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with doing these tasks in a particular manner. You should actually get an award for your housekeeping skills!
@citygirl713 No! I wish I could offer you some advice but I can't. I had an episode in my life which only lasted a couple of longggg years. It is debilitating, as you know🤯 I've known several people who have battled this the better part of their adult lives. One was an eyebrow tweezer to the point of self mutilation.
@@allisonquerze7941 it's not funny when it's seriously interfering with your life 🥺
I am i therapy and was told by my therapist that i was a HSP because it took me a really long time to overcome a traumatic experience i have had a work as a result of bullying due to me being asocial. She mentioned that i may also be autistic. I now have a new therapist who has also mentioned the same. I also have a daughter that is autistic.
I still had my doubts about me being on the spectrum, but after watching this video, I think that I actually might be as I can relate to a lot of what was said 😢.
We like long videos, I could listen to you all day. Thanks for this one. I’ve always been HSP but lately I’ve been suspecting I’m actually ASD (I’m already diagnosed with ADHD, so it would not be a stretch). But I’m so highly functioning that I’m not sure
Did anyone else get called "tightly wound" a lot? Also, I'm coming to think that slow processing time (and therefore everyone else being "over it" well before I am) only adds to the number of traumatic experiences.
Im self diagnosed with autism , adhd, ptsd, ocd, dislexia and im pssing now throught the proces for diagnosis. im very scary , terifing to dont get me wrong what i was meaning and get missunderstood.usualy this happen and i feel i cant breath
It is not only bright lighting that can be challenging for people. I actually prefer bright lighting because it helps my brain process, dim lighting is where I struggle, especially when there is uneven lighting. I have 3 main lighting fixtures in my great room. If the two outer lights are on, but the center light is off, it instantly triggers dysregulation. However, I am fine if only one light is on, or the center and either end lights are on.
this all resonates, i wish though you could have your reading material directly in front of you and the camera. This makes sensitive when you’re reading off the script .
✨🕯️🪷💫✨ thank you✨
Your face looks great! But I hear you! ❤
I personally believe the way to describe autism to someone who doesn't understand it is to say that small everyday things or every day life or parts of it can and will be in varying degrees experienced as traumatic, which is why it takes way longer than the average person to recover from the day or incident. But the recovery time makes you more reactive like people with ptsd to all the stimuly and since you can't just hit pause on life and stop incoming overwhelm recovery is very difficult to accomplish.
I had tried making contacts online and with some people even though I never met them and had maybe even a pleasant chat topicwise, I was shaking, maybe even started crying from overwhelm (ended the conversation in that one case), couldn't sleep for weeks , couldn't relax my muscles even when trying to relax, got my first strand of gray hair and a rash 😑
Needless to say I have put my efforts on hold and get extremely mad when someone just recommends finding jesus or progressive muscle relaxation when I share that I feel defeated about my situation.
It shows how much it is unrelatable to others.
I am not into calling it "just a different neuro type"
People need support and that comes with a diagnosis. If it wasn't a disorder people didn't need a diagnosis because if it didn't cause intense struggles and problems there wasn't a diagnosis for it
I'd love to hear what you think about sleep paralysis? I am enjoying your videos
When i was alittle my mother use to scold me because she said im too sensitive.
same. my mom would do all the things that would make a child overly sensitive (constant criticism, yelling, drinking, going on random rages) but then be angry at me for becoming “sensitive” to all of the turmoil around me. the funny thing is, now that i’m older i can see that she is actually much more sensitive than me.. she just can’t handle it.
I've always felt I don't fit in in the HSP camp nor the autism camp; I'm somewhere in the borderlands.
How do I get a assessment for autism as an adult? I'm from the upper northern New England area in the states and can't find anyone who does it. I don't know how I wasn't diagnosed as a child or as an adult being in therapy and I really believe misdiagnosed over the years. Thank you for taking the time to read this and for any feedback. Thank you for your videos.
I don’t have recs but I follow Dr Jessica Myszak on TikTok and she’s very informed and does assessments in diff states. You might google her and see - while I can’t vouch for her I’ve followed her a long time and she’s highly up to date re autism. Also please research the pros and cons of an official diagnosis ❤
Pro's and con's ?
@@mwilliams55555some countries/jobs/adoption etc may be an issue with an asd diagnosis
Just turned 56, the more I learn about ASD, I definitely fall somewhere in there, lot of things are clicking into place in my head
@@DrKimSagethank you for getting back to me I appreciate it.
Annointed and prophetic ppl, stop accepting insult lables and letting ppl belittle youm you're "sensitive" to be able to receive a spiritual signal.
How can i get diagnosis of PTSD as an asd person? No clinician is thinking i have ptsd.
Im an HSP and have always thought i might be Autistic....
im 65, and have been totally unfunctional my whole life, sub abuse, eating disorders, self harm, cant hold a job, cant connect or get close to people. no therapist or doctor has ever taken the time to diagnose me with anything, they just diag me with MDD but i know theres alot more going on than that.
Does it mean you've been taking medication your whole life?
I'm asking as I'm also barely functional and everything overwhelms me so easily... having chronic insomnia for years, and doctors never diagnosed me with anything, not even with insomnia 😂 but i'm a bit afraid to take medication for my whole life, fear of side effects gives me anxiety
@@kateryna9009 YES, ALL OF THEM, IM SUPPOSED TO START SPRAVADO NEXT MONTH AS A LAST RESORT
sorry bout the caps
♥🙏
We know for sure that hsp as it is stated in the modern take comes from a book done by a woman original whom based it on those in her family whom later were diagnosed autistic.... it's a term that's never been an official diagnosis and has harmed the autism community as it's another way to get into 'aspie supremacy'. It's a way to say i'm not one of 'those' people.
Too many ads for me!
I think you're right about autism but also ADHD. I don't believe HSP is a thing without neurodivergence - ADHD, Autism, even Dyslexia can combine to make someone extremely sensitive. That's what does it and more people should be getting diagnosed rather than assuming they're HSP when it's very likely to be ADHD or ASD.
Can childhood trauma create a HSP and autism?
Not autism. That's genetic.
But I suspect undiagnosed autism in families can create childhood trauma.
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Could you please get to the pionts faster and then fill in the details after? Im not trying to be disrespectful, but I lose interest before you ever make it to your 1st point.
Increase your playback speed, you silly goose.