I'm just surprised you didn't publicly thank the chickfila employees who stood out in the heat, rain, snow, and tornadoes to direct traffic around the building and deliver us our chicken. They are the real heroes ❤
Sadly, I learned the same thing working at a Nuclear Power Plant. I wrote "FISSIONABLE MATERIAL! DO NOT EAT!" But Bradley just had to do things his own way.
One lady apologized for going against the arrow. We didn't care. We joked that she should walk backwards and she'd be compliant. LOL I used them as speed boosts, like in Mario Kart. ;)
Yeah, you have to do that sort of sort of mask your fortuitousness OK when you have a fear of being canceled or censored because you don’t have the “correct opinion“…
What? Don’t you know? We Coloradans are always continually laying our frig’s on their side. We do it all the time to rotate our kale salads. 😏 Love your comedy, John! 😝
John is so funny because everything he says is true. It's SO refreshing to see a comedian be honest and not back away from topics because of how charged they've become. Thank you for keeping us amused and entertained.
Come to the Western Slopes of Colorado. We are not pretentious. Most of us don’t know what the word means. We’re just a bunch of cowboys. And we love it
Omgosh now that you say that, MI folks seriously DON'T have accents!!!! I know a few Michiganders and they really don't! LOL. Now, those of us from Wisconsin, on the other hand 😆
I moved from Minnesota to Michigan, I would say it's a subtle mix of midwestern and Canadian. I've heard a few people with strong accents that sounded like Red Green (so, Canadian).
I remember going to a bakery and a sign said "6 ft apart is (?) pastries apart" I can't remember how much it was, but it was a lot. I would love to count how many pastries it is away from a person each and every time in my head.
The magic bubble of protection wasn't installed yet at the benches, just on the court's. They need to take one from the closest restaurant table because those supposed to work good.🤦♂️🤣
Around here, virtually nobody observes the 6 foot recommendation. It's become a joke. Maybe we just need more signs showing us how far apart 6 feet is.
And not every dog is 3 feet. Certainly not mine! Maybe 12 inches? There'd have to be a pretty long dog #2 or a very long leash to make up the other feet!
@@denischabriddell986 Absolutely! But uninformed people don’t realize how smart they are because they’d rather think that the indoctrination in public schools is all kids need.
It's over. At least in Arizona. No masks, no social distancing, etc. It's glorious. Haven't seen those signs in months. We have to make sure this never happens again.
Not this gal, because I'm a southern country gal and we use common sense, speak our minds, can take what we dish out, and don't care who's feelings get hurt.
Once I went to Kentucky, and they knew by my speech patterns that I was from Michigan. I don’t know how because Michigan people sound like they have no accent to my ears. It’s the southern people who can never shake their accents. I know people in Michigan who have been here for decades who still sound like the place they came from down south.
My favorite will always be the six foot apart vertically.. and then a foot apart horizontally. Covid cant move left to right.. just forward and backward... we should have been able to handle it way better 😑 food for thought: when you sneeze which direction do you turn? left or right 🤣🤣🤣
When they marked the spots with an X, I’d never stand on it. I’ve seen what happens to Wile E Coyote.
😂😂😂😂
😂🤣😂🤣😂
lol XD
Hahahaha 🤣
And never eat the free bird seed!
I'm just surprised you didn't publicly thank the chickfila employees who stood out in the heat, rain, snow, and tornadoes to direct traffic around the building and deliver us our chicken. They are the real heroes ❤
Lol it’s the tornados for me 👌🏾
No love for the chickens, though?
In Okla tornados
Not heroes! Just doing thier job!
❤️❤️
If I learned anything while working at a local children’s museum, no one reads signs. No one.
Sadly, I learned the same thing working at a Nuclear Power Plant.
I wrote "FISSIONABLE MATERIAL! DO NOT EAT!" But Bradley just had to do things his own way.
Also if you live in Canada it is not over. We are still on near total lockdown. Pray for us.
🙏🙏🙏
It’s not over here either. Everyone just pretends it is and goes about their business
Canada? I think you spelled "Nazi Germany" wrong.
Prayers from Fort Wayne, Indiana
@@heianneeve3341 I mean it is. Were not about to all be introverts just because of a dying virus
R.I.P. to the arrows on the aisle floors that nobody even followed. You all shall be remembered… kinda.
Ever get that glare from someone and you realize you are going the wrong way in an 'arrowed' isle?
One lady apologized for going against the arrow. We didn't care. We joked that she should walk backwards and she'd be compliant. LOL
I used them as speed boosts, like in Mario Kart. ;)
I feel bad for the people having to scrape them off the floor. That sticky stuff is NEVER coming off.
@@mnelp lol
@@morganerickson439 like trying to get the sticker off the bottom of a new drinking glass. lol
I would like to make a sign that shows 6 feet by showing six 1-foot rulers laying side by side.
Or 2 yard sticks
And don't make it to scale.
Do it!
Lol! That would be amazing!
Remember that year we banned smiles, hugs, and handshakes?
💔
Two weeks ago a new neighbor shook my hand and I actually cried! It had been so long
And singing, in CA
It’s unnatural
Exactly. Just feels like being nice has been outlawed. Almost every time I go out Im humiliated somehow.
I love that this whole video is him making jokes & then getting nervous & saying “that’s not funny....but it kind of is” 🤣🤣
Yeah, you have to do that sort of sort of mask your fortuitousness OK when you have a fear of being canceled or censored because you don’t have the “correct opinion“…
I LOVED the CVS receipt joke! Actually, it's no joke. I think that every single time I'm waiting 2.5 MINUTES for it to print out! Bam! LOL
John, I think you just admitted you're 5' 10." Quote: "My height plus 2 inches is 6 feet."
Don’t forget, we also learned how to wash our hands and learned to cover our mouths when we cough or sneeze, who knew?
My thoughts exactly. It was so nice to be in a store and hearing someone sneeze and know they had a mask on instead of NOT covering their mouths.
John, your side conversations/admonitions with yourself….never get old!
“It’s one shopping cart…plus another one…” hahahahaha
Ok Californios... 6 feet is one Gavin Newsom apart, or roughly three thousand light years outside of reality.
Best comment I’ve read today!! 😂😂
Perfect
What? Don’t you know? We Coloradans are always continually laying our frig’s on their side. We do it all the time to rotate our kale salads. 😏
Love your comedy, John! 😝
😐🔫
I’m a Graphic Designer, and I have two words - “Spot On!” I mean, nothing says “national unity” like catering to the lowest common denominator, right?
My favorite was the one that showed a square, from point to point was 6ft… even diagonally. The math gods are losing it.
Oh that's terrible. Basic geometry.
LOL great catch!
My man John here is a good ol' Conservative. He's got a good head on his shoulders. 👍🏻
lol your screen name!
… But I am Black…🤣
@@AnnaAnna428 Biden says you ain't. XD
@@youaintblack2865
👎🏽
I drive and make deliveries for Amazon. These stupid signs are EVERYWHERE, it’s ridiculous. They act like we are idiots
Well, we fell for the mask thing didn't we?
@@ministryoftruth1451 I didn't but I see your point .
@@ministryoftruth1451 and the Jab?
Pretty sure they intend to treat us like farm animals until we act like farm animals. Which, seems to be working.
My local burrito place accidentally measured 5'11" apart and got cancelled.
That's hilarious 😆
Lol!
That is a big freakin burrito.
I often wondered who was measuring the distance between the big circles on the floors because many of them were obviously NOT six feet apart!
Yeah, but they measure edge to edge or center to center?
John is so funny because everything he says is true. It's SO refreshing to see a comedian be honest and not back away from topics because of how charged they've become. Thank you for keeping us amused and entertained.
Still waiting for undercover pastor part 4. Let’s go lol 🤓⏰
Agreed
Yes please!!
Yes, infiltrate the Ushers!
Theory: It's a way to bring the Imperial system into Metric countries as I see 6ft basically everywhere in Canada
Did NOT expect you here!
we must never let them take our common sense math
Danganronpa
2 m?
Meanwhile in Canada the short people standing really close cause they are using their own feet to measure the distance
Come to the Western Slopes of Colorado. We are not pretentious. Most of us don’t know what the word means. We’re just a bunch of cowboys. And we love it
“It’s funny. It’s funny.” 🤛🏻 (Yes, it absolutely is!)
The grocery store I worked at during COVID had signs that read “6 feet apart or 6 feet under, you choose” 🤣💀
😂😂 That's certainly one way to put it!
As a Michigander, the “I don’t know how to do a Michigan accent” really got me because what IS a Michigan accent??? 😂😂😂
Lol, grew up in MI then moved to OK. Where I apparently had no accent! 😱🤔😂
Omgosh now that you say that, MI folks seriously DON'T have accents!!!! I know a few Michiganders and they really don't! LOL. Now, those of us from Wisconsin, on the other hand 😆
Oh yes, Michiganders have an accent! I speak from having married one.
I moved from Minnesota to Michigan, I would say it's a subtle mix of midwestern and Canadian. I've heard a few people with strong accents that sounded like Red Green (so, Canadian).
John Crist: "Everyone knows what 6 ft. is."
Also John Crist: "It's my height (6'2") plus two inches."
I caught that!🤪
We dont need signs to wash our hands. We learned that in grade school also.
The Chicago one was hilarious 🤣🤣🤣 chiraq
Survival Tip: CVS receipts make great emergency toilet paper.
They are also 6 feet long!
I laughed straight for the whole clip!! You are hilarious! Thanks for the Monday morning laughs! Winning! You rock!
1:20 you put way too much faith in humanity. The past year has taught me that.
I remember going to a bakery and a sign said "6 ft apart is (?) pastries apart" I can't remember how much it was, but it was a lot. I would love to count how many pastries it is away from a person each and every time in my head.
Now there’s a sign designer that knows how to get the attention of the American people 😂
3:57 dang 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Time to weed some people out
The magic bubble of protection wasn't installed yet at the benches, just on the court's. They need to take one from the closest restaurant table because those supposed to work good.🤦♂️🤣
😂 did not see that Charlie Berens reference coming
“Weed some people out!” 😂
This video all about 6ft 🤣
“Awwww she’s so funny. She’s so funny!” 🤣🤣🤣🤣 This was a good one.
Here in my hometown in Ontario, Canada, ours were like, 'One hockey stick apart', 'One canoe apart', 'One Zamboni apart'... 🤦♀️
Around here, virtually nobody observes the 6 foot recommendation. It's become a joke. Maybe we just need more signs showing us how far apart 6 feet is.
The self talk pep talks are so good!
In Canada🇨🇦 it's one Hockey 🏒 Stick apart 😁.. I'm not even kidding.
I 💚 this comment! (A MN wild fan!!)
I laughed at the podium joke, and your Michigan accent attempt (it wasn’t very accurate but I found it funny cause I am from Michigan
It’s over unless you live in California and Gav has appointed himself king.
Or Oregon with queen brown 🤦🏼♀️
Newsom is not my king. Jesus is!
@@HPTFan amen!
Meet Kevin is running
O canada
Land of the retarded
That is not a word I would ever use for the handicapped as they are far too smart.
My question is who’s kayak is only 6 feet long?
I wondered that as well.
And not every dog is 3 feet. Certainly not mine! Maybe 12 inches? There'd have to be a pretty long dog #2 or a very long leash to make up the other feet!
A fridge on it's side is a standard measurement in most trailer courts.
John Crist making grade school jokes 😂 wasn’t he homeschooled? 😂😂
Homeschooled children tend to be very smart 😉 😃.
@@denischabriddell986 Absolutely! But uninformed people don’t realize how smart they are because they’d rather think that the indoctrination in public schools is all kids need.
You must have gone to public school! Do you think it's not elementary school if you're home schooled😳🤪
Since we measure larger distances in “football fields” this makes sense too!! 😂
I work out while watching UA-cam and I fell on my butt mid squat during the Chicago joke
You are hilarious! So refreshing! Thanks for the laughs. We all need them in these troubled times. God bless!
Is it just me or do the majority of places that have those signs up have them way more than 6 ft apart?
I would stand in line and measure with my mind. Rarely were they accurate. 😁 but most of the time even if they were, people were way to close....
Sign: tHis iS 6 feEt ApaRt
Me: Good, now I know. Thank you, Captain Obvious!
It's over. At least in Arizona. No masks, no social distancing, etc. It's glorious. Haven't seen those signs in months. We have to make sure this never happens again.
Same here in the Free State of Georgia 🤛
@@sylvia4008 Freedom! 💪🇺🇲
come near to MN on your tour. Its roughly 6 feet from your other stops
Your graphic designer is hilarious-she got ya on that one
6 feet = 6 mail in ballots filled out by the same person.
John: Should've tried better at School
Every Gal: That's so RUDEEEEEEEEEE
Not this gal, because I'm a southern country gal and we use common sense, speak our minds, can take what we dish out, and don't care who's feelings get hurt.
Actually I'm Canadian and I use the Metric system, yet they use the 6 feet sign in Canada and I have no idea
Perfect Monday video! We live in the Netherlands and it really feels like the 👑 thing is over.
I've never had a good sense of measurement and therefore still apply the "Near and Far" approach that was taught to me by Grover on Sesame Street :D
On the bright side I finally had an excuse to carry around a quarter staff
I like how all accents, even Michigan, are all Southern? Like Kentucky? 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Once I went to Kentucky, and they knew by my speech patterns that I was from Michigan. I don’t know how because Michigan people sound like they have no accent to my ears. It’s the southern people who can never shake their accents. I know people in Michigan who have been here for decades who still sound like the place they came from down south.
Getting a little worried that those internal voices of yours are talking back to you... 😂
Jon's inner dialogue with himself is so funny to watch! Thanks for another great video!
"We are evolving just backwards" ~some smart man
The Aaron rodgers joke was hilarious!!!!!
Instagram joke was the best
And don’t forget (for us Canadians) it’s also 46 timbits apart
Americans might not know what Tim bits are. Im a duel citizen so I sure understand!
I wish one take came out more often lol I literally come back and check your channel just to see if you've uploaded something
Nothing saves more lives than the TRUTH
meanwhile in the vaccination line everybody is within whisper distance of each other
You Sir cure my depression. Please come to Tampa! Love your laugh.
Explaining 6' with fractions! 🤣🤣
My favorite will always be the six foot apart vertically.. and then a foot apart horizontally.
Covid cant move left to right.. just forward and backward... we should have been able to handle it way better 😑
food for thought: when you sneeze which direction do you turn? left or right 🤣🤣🤣
You were right on it, when you compared 6 ft. to the length of a Walgreens receipt!😉
The instagram stories though 🤣🤣🤣 facts
@0:51 none of us knowing how to cook lol 😭😂
Oh John, you always make my day! 😂
I saw one that was one Beatles apart
This is the first and last time I'm gonna say this for as long as I live...
_John Crist_ ,
_will you marry me?_ =)
Literally so excited
🤣➖staying 6ft ft apart➖🤣
And one more... in San Diego they have signs for us to stay one surf board apart
PREACH!
I can't get enough of you talking to / correcting yourself 🔥
Clearwater marina has a dolphin to say 6 ft apart
You are fricken HILARIOUS!!! I love it. Spot on... Spot on! Your vids get me through the ridiculousness with laughter, instead of a meltdown. 🤣
Bass Pro hat, and not even an honorable mention of a FISHING ROD apart... That's funny!
I’ve been missing this series so glad it’s back
He made the joke about cvs and I got an ad for cvs right after🤔
Get this dude to 1M guys he deserves it lol he tries hard 💪
As a Vikings fan, I loved that Aaron Rodgers joke
The kids who didn't go to elementary school baby I'm not even here I'm a hallucination
With the WNBA they really weren’t effected by Covid-19 cause they were still playing in empty arenas
You didn’t learn distance John! You were home-schooled! 😂
As a Native Coloradan, I can say that mountain people (especially in Boulder) talk more with self importance and less west Virginian twang.
So 2 chihuahuas apart, we get it.