I have a few years on you and as I comment, I'm looking at a Z900 in the kitchen. Just got rid of a damaged woman (mentally) after a year of wasting my time. I have two other bikes in the garage. Not worried about a soul mate, cuz they don't exist. I'm at one with my bike and when the weather clears up, I'm on my way.
@@FrankBonessa I always had a fantasy about bringing the bike indoors, throwing a mattress down and sleeping next to her. Something about the smell of moto oil and petrol,,yowza!
Please don't waste your life like this because you sound a decent soul. I know what it's like when you've been hurt, bled dry financially or betrayed in one way or another but life is too precious to live it alone. So many of my friends have predeceased me and it's taught me that life's better shared with someone even if it doesn't entail full-time commitment: just someone to be silly with, to laugh with and do daft stuff with. Not everyone is out to hurt you, I promise.
55 here in UK .. been single since 2010 .. not intentionally or anything .. I do love women .. but its the demands of what they want .. which ultimately I cant match ie mansion house , aston martin , chuck load of money to sustain this fairytale lifestyle ... Im quite happy on my own .. just lost my Mum recently - Mum and Dad were married for 58 years .. kind of looking after Dad .. im not carer as such .. but for time being its fallen on to me help as im the only child .. but I do want to travel and do stuff whilst I still can and my dad knows this and understands .. but both Dad and I are still grieving from loss of Mum and dad is frustrated with his body falling apart - hes 85 going on 86 end of this year .
@@willboa5365 Same situation, but I'm female. I've found that a large proportion of men wear masks - they suck the energy out of a woman, then abandon them on a whim. They often pretend to be 'together' emotionally and an Alpha male but in reality they were raised by (for example) a domineering father or coercively controlling mother so grow up to be men who can't relax into a relationship but are constantly striving to 'be better' to live up to their (perceived) parental expectations. And who pays the price - their partners, who get abandoned even when they are decent souls who love them to the moon and back. It's a sad reflection on today's society that men and women are so damaged that neither sex trusts the other any more.
@@willboa5365 My folks were married 48 years, high school sweethearts and I'm an only child as well. Just a completely different life back then. Mom passed (70 yrs young) in '16 cancer, dad '23 (78 yrs young) parkinson's. I was also a caretaker for my dad at the end. I've never married or had children.
56 and single. Relationships are a drain on your energy and resources. Stay single and genuine. Don't care what people think. Life is short. Live it on your terms.
@mustbetrue1602 You must be absolutely off your rockers! I would be RUNNING in the opposite direction just as fast as my legs could carry me. That whole thing just screams HOT! MESS!
My father told me when I was young, pouting about a girl that had just dumped me. Son, one day you're going to be grateful. All those girls you wanted...didn't want you. Boy was he right on the nail!
Women are too fickle for that kind of crap. Avoid them, even if they try to make some kind of contact with you and then just get snubbed off. They all just resort to tears on social media.
If you hide yourself, women can’t see the real you. This isn’t some magical trick, it’s choosing to be vulnerable and open. Expecting an instant knowing is likely a figment of the mythology like soul mates or something. I forged a real meaningful relationship by becoming known through words and deeds. It’s sad but it’s entirely your own doing. Stop believing in fairytales. You’re a grown man.
A zen teaching changed my life. It's about becoming the person you want to be with. You realise how difficult it is to be that person and that it is an ideal. But it also means that you realise who you are. Biologically and evolutionary speaking, men and women aren't meant to be together for more than about 3 years, during which time, they should have reproduced at least once, maybe twice, and then move on. Then they reproduce with someone else. It leads to strength of the species. Also, people lived very, very short lives. Fast forward to today, and we have a societal construct about being in relationships with the same person FOREVER. This just isn't how we are hard-wired. These constructs come from religious ideals which form the bedrock of society. Very, very few species mate for life. And humans are not one of them. This is the con that we live with. It doesn't mean that it can't happen. If it does, it's a fluke. Now, we live much longer lives. However, the biological needs that drive our species have faded away many years earlier. Also, for men, they have, in my opinion, a greater need for companionship, even more so in later years. I know of many women who can survive quite well, if not better, alone. Men, on the other hand, don't manage as well. I was with my last partner for 13 years when his life was cruelly cut short. He wanted me to find someone else. I told him in his last few days, that would never happen. 12 years later at age 64 and I am still true to my word. I have not even looked or felt the need for someone else. First, because he was the love of my life, and second, because I am happy to live alone and be content and at peace. Sometimes you need to stop looking and expect nothing. You have to live your live unconditionally and with no demands on others. Then, if you meet someone who can meet your needs and you meet their needs, then good luck. Remember, rejection is not about you necessarily. Rejection means that someone needs are not being met and they will move on to find someone who will meet their needs.
You mean the human nature? It’s no secret that the most socially skilled and attractive people are desirable in terms of relationships and socializing.
@@sr0716 Wrong. Romanticism is a gynocentric fairy tale created by aristocratic women of the Middle Ages. Chivalry and pedeslalizing women is a childish notion that replaced real mature adult love based on mutual respect and lasting bonds with a Disney princess world view. It's where the ridiculous tradition of a man getting on his knees groveling for a woman to marry him bearing an expensive ring came from. 1000 years of this plus modern notions and changing natural role models killed the healthy natural dynamic that held civilization together so long. Now countries are having problems just keeping their populations at replacement levels, especially in the west.
Very fortunate, my wife of nearly 40 years walked over to me in a Social club in South Yorkshire, in late 1982 and simply said ‘l’m Nicola….’ I have counted my blessings every moment since but such things belong to another era now.
I met my husband when I was thirty nine. We have been married for thirty one years. Like you I had given up looking because I thought, “he isn’t out there”. Then boom he walked into the office where I had just started a new job. We were both married previously. We have had our ups and down. I think love is wanting the best for the other one. Wanting them to be happy. There are a lot of selfish people who don’t think that way. A sense of humour is good too. My husband still makes me laugh infact that was one of the things that attracted me to him. As well as his smile and the twinkle in his eyes. I knew he fancied me right away and it was mutual. I hope you find someone to love you and who puts you first. 🙋🏻♀️
From my perspective, once you have lifted the veil of how men form relationships with women, you understand that idealistic love is impossible. At 53, I've had one night stands, up to marriage, and now single. The vast majority of couples I interact with, are involved in different degrees of transactional relationships. Marriage (and long term dating) nearly always has a high level of that behavior. The truth is that men typically offer resources, status, and stability in exchange for sex (at her discretion), and basic companionship. If you're ok with that, then you can find someone. Personally, I don't meet women that I think are worth that level of investment. They've become overtly entitled, and many times greedy. It's a repulsive attitude, and what has kept me single for years. At some point, I resigned myself to the reality that I may never have what I consider a good, fulfilling relationship again in my life. It's not a pleasant thought, but it's an honest one.
A zen teaching changed my life. It's about becoming the person you want to be with. You realise how difficult it is to be that person and that it is an ideal. But it also means that you realise who you are. Biologically and evolutionary speaking, men and women aren't meant to be together for more than about 3 years, during which time, they should have reproduced at least once, maybe twice, and then move on. Then they reproduce with someone else. It leads to strength of the species. Also, people lived very, very short lives. Fast forward to today, and we have a societal construct about being in relationships with the same person FOREVER. This just isn't how we are hard-wired. These constructs come from religious ideals which form the bedrock of society. Very, very few species mate for life. And humans are not one of them. This is the con that we live with. It doesn't mean that it can't happen. If it does, it's a fluke. Now, we live much longer lives. However, the biological needs that drive our species have faded away many years earlier. Also, for men, they have, in my opinion, a greater need for companionship, even more so in later years. I know of many women who can survive quite well, if not better, alone. Men, on the other hand, don't manage as well. I was with my last partner for 13 years when his life was cruelly cut short. He wanted me to find someone else. I told him in his last few days, that would never happen. 12 years later at age 64 and I am still true to my word. I have not even looked or felt the need for someone else. First, because he was the love of my life, and second, because I am happy to live alone and be content and at peace. Sometimes you need to stop looking and expect nothing. You have to live your live unconditionally and with no demands on others. Then, if you meet someone who can meet your needs and you meet their needs, then good luck. Remember, rejection is not about you necessarily. Rejection means that someone needs are not being met and they will move on to find someone who will meet their needs.
The most important relationship you'll ever have is with yourself! So we all need to work on ourselves first. If you are going to rely on some future wife/husband to save you and make you happy, that is ridiculous. Partner can only compliment you. And lets be honest, most relationships don't last nowadays anyway. Its super rare to see someone being married for 30 years even 20. In the western world that is slowly disappearing.
Im single at 50. Made the decision to not go through the BS anymore. Everyone is broken.. including myself! Trying to find the puzzle pieces of yourself is imperative.. Sometimes it is lonely, sometimes, it would be awesome to have that "person" but overall, I don't want to be with someone for the sake of being with someone... I'd rather be on my own.. So many people coupled up out there are frigging miserable. I don't think men are bad, I don't think woman are bad.. I think people are people and the ones that have substance and good values etc they are bloody hard to come by. Awesome channel - Ive subbed. Thanks from NZ :)
A few years back, I was at a party with about 30 of my closest friends. I remember sitting on the couch and watching as everybody was having conversations. It seemed to me, that everybody was portraying an image of what they want people to see. The fake kissing and the hugs, none of it seemed real to me. I noticed it in my own relationship as well. when at parties my wife, at the time, would pretend that she was into me, but it only felt like a lie and I found myself repulsed.
@@SufferousTosh I've become a bit of a hermit over the last 1-2 years.. Which is not overly healthy.. Life needs balance.. But again, I would rather keep myself than be in fake.. Its funny when you "wake up" to life.. Maybe its an age thing.. But yep, I hear ya! The fake chat, the fake persona.. I recoil from it. If we need to talk about the "weather" and have no depth in conversation/thoughts/feelings etc.. Then theres nothing to talk about haha. Thanks for the reply! Keep em coming. Great real content! ;)
@@SufferousTosh I think you are over judging. Do you understand that people are not very evolved? To cope with our small brains and especially in social environments, we sometimes have to fake smiles? We cannot go deep with everyone. That does not mean they are bad people. Have you considered how many people in that room have contemplated suicide and many will follow through? Have you considered that everyone struggles? It is not just about pleasing you or acting how you think they should. Everyone struggles to get by and do their best. Very few are just being phony to get over on others. Some do sure, but most do not. I think part of the issue is that you think you are perfect and other need to meet your standards. I doubt you are perfect. You get what you give. Maybe look for a nice Asian woman. Many are very sincere and respectful. Not all- but many are. Try to be a bit more empathetic and less judgmental of others. I think you have a big ego and you have been hurt. Not even saying you are all wrong but I think there is a pattern with you and relationships. You feel like you try too hard and it does not work. You said you have 30 close friends. That's pretty good son. But is even that not good enough. You sat there, at a party, not joining them, but judging them. I think you have some work to do on yourself. If you focus on YOU first, the rest will fall into place. I am not even the best looking, or smartest dude, but I have never had your issues. I met the best woman in the world. We did not rush things. We went strong for 25 years. We recently concluded our journey though no real fault on either side- things just change. Stuff happens. That is life. Deal with it and move on, or don't. Namaste.
Maybe you should date Tosh? Being aware of your past addictions is ok I guess, but I think by using your screen name, you are living in your past. Move on. Yes, stay sober but don't keep reminding yourself every single day that you were a drunk. It is not healthy. It becomes your identity. Why not just- "Happy Kiwi!" You can't let it go. I would run too if I saw that. No offense to you. It is unnecessary baggage.
Thank You for your comment.... Maybe I should give some back story to this video and some history on how I have come to this point in my life.... Or maybe you can watch the video "I Was Drunk".... Where I talk about my Alcoholism and how I lost everything...
I am 52 and single too. But my young daughter gives me enough company that I don’t really feel lonely. I am alone but not lonely. My day job is so brutal that honestly I love peace and quiet. Last thing I want is a dramatic neurotic woman in my life. 😅
@@tdgdbs1 oh man I bet you've witnessed this first hand. I was just at an urgent care for an ear infection and the women there annoyed me. The women in the front office and the nurse who checked me out before seeing the doctor's assistant.. all annoying.. too emotional and dramatic for me. Stoicism is coming back! (i hope)
I'm 65 and I know it's a done deal and I'm good with that and actually enjoy my aloneness and freedom from all the drama of relationships other than me and Source and Mother Nature., Which is drama free and tranquility. Aloneness is All One Ness. Never alone.
I just came across your video. Your authenticity is beautiful. What you are looking for is someone who is authentic, grounded, and a little whimsical. You have a lot of wisdom to share. Please keep sharing your thoughts. Saying hello from South Africa!
Single 57 yo woman here. I gave up. Online dating is awful. Seemed like sex was all anyone was looking for in my experience. I now have embraced being single. It is heaven. I have discovered my true self and soul and realize I am happier alone. I am not lonely. I hope that you are not feeling lonely and find someone that sees you. But this may be an opportunity to see yourself.
I had a beautiful bulldog named, Rupert. He died when I lost my house and my wife. Hmm.. I see the beginnings of a country song here... Thanks for watching
You keep a pet, take care of its hygiene and health, give it food and share your home. You give him your time to walk around and enjoy the affection. Try this with a woman and you will be surprised how stupid you are towards women. You want to give it to an animal, but you don't want to give it to a human. Why? You allow your dog to do a lot, he will poop and pee, and you will only get angry. But you want to divorce a woman after some drama. Use your brain. Man's love is only for another person. The rest is respect and compassion.
Just found this vid, and hence your channel... A lovely chat, thank you 😊 Humanity has been so messed up over the last few years, and it is very sad to see relationships failing. We all deserve respect and support through these difficult times, and doing life on your own is just bloody hard work, and expensive
51 here. Also single many years. I have zero interest in dating or getting to know a woman. They have nothing to offer you if your not having children with them. I hope more and more men choose this path because the truth is most women just aren't worthy of us. Its essential for us men to have lots of hobbies. I like gardening, playing guitar and tending to my 155 house plants. You know i was so gullible and naive to the true nature of women. I really believed there was women out there that authentically loved their men. In my mid 40s i stumbled onto the red pill and began to see thru all the lies. The only love from women typically are from your biological family. So i went thru my life with this dream of finding my best friend in a woman. That dream drove me up until 49 years old. Then i finally thru in the towel. The irony is the amount of women who are attracted to me now that im no longer interested. I have to say when i compare my life to when im with women vs being alone, being alone always wins. Most women are never happy and its impossible to make them happy no matter what you do
Younger guy here, about to turn 26. Back in 2023, I happened to be in conversation with a group of men ages ranging from mid 50s to mid 60s. It was almost as if I was speaking a foreign language to them when I was explaining just how it is dealing with women in pretty much all age groups nowadays. They eventually resorted to attacking me personally, telling me that I didn't have any real experience with women and that I was avoiding women because I "didn't want to have my heart broken." Thinking back on it, they reminded me a lot of those women who, when you call them out on their behavior or explain things to them, resort to saying "who hurt you?!" even though that probably has nothing to do with the subject at hand. Since then, I have been exploring the dating pool, and needless to say, I have found all of is said here to be true. Unnecessary drama, random outbursts of "you're losing interest in me" when I'm doing my best to become acquainted, and a constant need for entertainment and never satisfied with any level of effort being put in. I remained alone all throughout high school and college, and thought it would be a good idea to explore now that I have graduated. I thought I had found one that was reasonable and loving, but as she's gotten more comfortable, that pretty little façade is slowly falling away. I wanted to be optimistic, but I very much agree that none of that is worth the trouble.
Your a very smart lad.... Thanks for chiming in... I love your confidence at such a young age.... Clearly you know yourself and that puts you a the top of the food chain. You are going to be very successful..
@ You'll be thankful for this as you get older. I have a similar story. About 7 or 8 years ago I was at work. Talking to older guys in their 50's and 60's. Probably 6 guys. One by one they told a story of how their Ex took the house, all their money, put them on alimony. Ruined their lives. The worst is when one said he had 5 years left to pay off his mortgage. Then had to start over. It's all a scam bro.
They use to say that about the expendable troops (fodder) in front the cannons during the old wars... Cannons filled with grape shot. Can you imagine.... A giant shotgun really.
Guy, I'm going to be 54 soon, I've been in 3 very horrible relationships with women years ago. Do yourself a favor and just accept your loneliness and focus on yourself. Trust me you're better off.
Just as I commented recently, I think this should be acknowledged as a point of rest.... for both sexes to self reflect. Just sit back and question what and who you are... Come to terms with ego
I will be 54 in the summer. I've had 3 horrible relationships and I've been solo for 9 years in February 2025. I've completely given up on relationships. To be honest, I absolutely love single life. I go on holiday alone, I go out for days and I love going for walks in woodland and parks. I really don't see what the problem is with being solo. I'd rather be on my own than be with the wrong person. Also, after past experiences with the guys I met/allowed into my life, no way am I prepared to put myself through that kind of stress again. 3 times, I've had to start over again with regards to living arrangements and furnishings. I refuse to go down that route again.
Gen X here. I always rebelled against women and media claiming men couldn't cope with daily household chores. Also german army taught me basic skills. Whenever I noticed romance was out of the window, i.e. as soon as modern women explained their beliefs to me , I walked. Money was always tight. Forrest Gump stopped running saying :" I'm tired! I'm going home!"
Your problem is that you are looking for a magical connection. That just isnt most relationships, even the good ones. You're expecting too much. Life is not a RomCom.
Absolutely agree. Through relationships with others we learn and grow. Even a bad relationship teaches us something valuable. Before you dive into another relationship though, l suggest you heal your heart. One way would be through meditation. Bring all those who have hurt you in your awareness and forgive yourself and others and let go of any pain and resentment you carry. Try to find the lessons in past experiences, did they teach you to love yourself, place boundaries, be less judgmental, more forgiving? Until you heal your heart and make peace with the past, you will keep manifesting the same people over and over. Blessings ❤
Enjoy the journey of “YOU”. When you love yourself and live your dreams the person meant for you will be drawn to you through the vibe your giving off of being happy with yourself and life in general. The universe works for you if you let it my friend
I'm an idiot, it only took me 65 years to figure this out. I still miss my love but I can't stand a liar and that killed our relationship. And Covid 19 of course.
My friend, my heart is absolutely broken for what has happened over the last 10 to 15 years. Not only is my heart broken for the suffering of men, but my heart is broken for the women as well because they have no idea what they are doing.... They are completely unconscious right now. We can see it clear as day.
The impossible physics of nine ll, CGI bugs, world wars, Iraq, Viet Nam, Korea, Iran Contra... yeah, eventually constant barrage of propaganda wakes up those who have a sense of reality.
I'm 78 and have been married to the same man for 56 years. My son is 53 and recently divorced after 25 years of marriage and two sons. I think, more than anything and no matter what generation you're a part of, it comes down to whether you really WANT to be in a long term committed relationship/partnership. Unfortunately, people don't mirror each other. That's a very common and unhelpful misunderstanding. Liking/loving a person for who they are not what they can give you is what you should be looking for. Going the distance with another person means going the distance with yourself. You have to know who you are before you can show up for another person. They aren't there to reflect you if you're in a healthy partnership. They're there to share the journey and that's something you work out together along the way. Sharing a history is absolutely wonderful if you really are committed to that end. Take a look at your expectations and look for someone who you admire and have fun with. There's no perfect person out there but there are lot's of people who want to be there for someone with all their imperfections just like you!!
This is SO true and very wise of you to recognise this fact. I truly believe, after all that I've experienced in my own life, that there are people in society who are just destined to walk through life alone (a 'lone wolf' is what psychologists call them) and there's nothing wrong with that at all. But what upsets me is when someone (like some of the commenters here) have been through a traumatic relationship and it leaves them understandably bitter and this either taints their next relationship or leaves them not wanting to try another one, which is such a tragedy.
You're correct on all counts. It's not about finding the right person, it's about "being" the right person. And it's required from both sides to make it continue to work. Knowing who you are first, sacrifice, patience, work, commitment, loyalty, trust, respect, understanding and a decent sense of humor can go a long way.
I was so very fortunate to find my love at 37 years old; after many many tries. But it did not come easy; we both struggled and worked very hard to make it work due to past baggage on both sides. We were married for 30 years; lost him to cancer at age 61 one year ago. The price of love is loss; at some point. I still cry every day missing him. He died in my arms and took part of my soul with him.
@marciahenthorn9050 So sorry for your loss. After losing my long term partner you realise how you never stop loving them. The sense of loss is immense.
Oh my dear, I have read your words, my heart is broken for you.... I am very sorry for you loss... I can only hope to have an experience like this.. Although, very tragic. The greatest gift a person could receive. You loved and I am honored to meet you, because I don't know what that is like. I have felt this only for a brief moment, in my youth... I want to know this kind of love... This is what I am looking for... Just for a little bit.
I feel you buddy. I get it. You aren't alone. Things in the west are in a strange place right now. It might be a generation or two before they get back to right. Take solace in the knowledge that things will get better. In the meantime, focus on yourself, do things you love, help people, be strong, be masculine, be healthy, mentor the youth, listen to the stories of the old, and know that in the end everything is going to be alright.
Simple as that, really.... This is a warning message to all the people that come after us. I wonder what they will call this period of time in the future?
@@SufferousTosh Exactly. I hope they study the things that lead to this period, so they don't repeat it. Maybe they'll call this "The Big Lonely" or "The Lonely Age". Probably something like that. Take care of yourself. Create your own happiness brother.
@@kiralight2929It’s been in the works for over a century now to destroy the family unit, turn the sexes against each other and control the entire world….a group of small hat tribe members have put it in writing and their plan is in its latter stages.
My mom is a sociopath. Her love was fully conditional. We stayed in child care homes and boarding schools and despite her being well off we had to pay full rent if we wanted to come home for weekends and holidays, from the age of 16. Many a time we couldnt.
I’m 56 , lost everything at 50 .. I learnt that woman aren’t capable of true love , unconditional love.. they will always seek unconditional love from a man, yet in return you will only receive conditional affection from her . Women love children and pets .. they do not love men
@@neraknatera9977In my experience it really isn't true including my siblings they always talk about money and buying stuff , rather than focusing on relationships and they are too materialistic.And yes they love wallets and animals than anything else.
I’m a single woman and it took me a long time to get here, the acceptance that I’m better off alone. The only men I have dealt with for the past 20 yrs were just after sex. Genuine woman can’t find a real man because he is either taken or gave up on the idea or is too traumatised from previous relationships and just wants sex. I get it. The reason why this change happened was due to the way society has been changed. These days it’s not abt who you are it’s abt what job you have, how much money you have or can I screw you over for a visa. All I ever wanted was to meet someone who treated me with respect, I don’t want your house, your money etc, I don’t even want to live with someone (well not for a very long time if the relationship was secure), I just wanted to be appreciated and I would do the same for him.
Man I get it. Disney movies don’t exist in real life. Women cannot love a man the way a man wants them to… this is the truth. I’m 67, I date but no committed relationships. They just don’t work well over time.
That was deeper than I expected, thank you. In particular, I liked how you explained your distance as being the result of not feeling seen/mirrored - basically, to a lack of empathy and understanding. I have had that experience a lot, too. ... I would look to women for intimacy (in the psychological sense, I mean, not just physical). I worked hard to make myself capable of that kind of relationship. And although I found moments where it happened, it was brief, it didn't stay long. Furthermore, it didn't seem nearly as glorious as I'd imagined. It was nice, to be sure, but it wasn't all that wonderful, and in fact I learned that I didn't want all that closeness/intimacy I'd been dreaming about. I was in fact more comfortable with a little distance. ... And then, much later, I got "red pilled" to the truth that women, by and large, do not love men the way men want to be loved. They do not love men for who they are. They love them for and because of what those men do for them - provide, protect, attend, validate, boost status, give emotional thrills, and so forth. I suspect you have learned this, too. It was a bitter pill to swallow, but it made sense of a lot of my experience. ... For reference, I'm 63 and walked away from the dating/mating game at 48, 15 years ago. I've been doing pretty well, me and my dog. I have my ups and downs like anyone, and occasionally I will feel a pang of loneliness, but it doesn't last long. I seem to get by pretty well with the companionship of my dog (a good internal relationship helps, too, as does a spiritual connection of some sort). The older I've gotten, the less interested I have become in coupling up in a serious, long-term way. ... Anyhow, thought-provoking video, and deeper and more honest than I expected. Subscribed.
The "red pill" was very difficult to swallow. I tried to wash it down with booze. That didn't work. So, I put the bottle down, and as the fog lifted I saw that I was being abused by a woman. I built up courage and divorced her. She respects me know..... Hmmm
@ ya because she sacrificed the family and he left. Now she learns the hard way Genius lol Treat the men good and they wont leave, its not rocket science. Most of them get around so much they do not even know who the biological the dad is.
Thank you for sharing these important feelings and perspectives on your life. It takes courage to show vulnerability. There’s nothing wrong with you, being single. I only would suggest that as a Man, focus on being the best version of yourself, your purpose, your goals, your journey, and I believe you’ll find that either you don’t need a Woman or being this way Women will be drawn to you.
I like this very much. I think you are absolutely right. In the journey of self discovery we find that we did not need the thing we were searching for all of these years.
I hear you, my friend. I'm 52 as well. At least I can say I struck out 3 times. Like almost closed the deal 3 times. I experienced true love. The kind you do grieve over once it was gone. It was a good relationshp at the time and for that, I am thankful. (the whole "Better to have loved and lost" kind of deal) And right now, I joke that I am now on "Womenopause". I've had my taste of different kinds of relationships and checked a few boxes. I'm content with that.
Was married for 16 years, and I agree that it's hard to find someone who understands. That said, with each of my dogs, I have found the sort of connection that you talk about. I can have my head rest on their head and feel a connection, feel a shared peace, and a feeling of belonging. Dog really is our best friend, because they do not play any games.
I met my husband in my mid-50s. I was doing something I enjoyed and he was doing something he enjoyed. 15 years later we’re still doing that and other things (but not everything) together. I will never know what goes on inside another person. I love and respect my husband. If your partner can only be a mirror, it sounds narcissistic.
Yes, there is some really fake/shallow people out there. I find it really sad that so many relationships/marriages are based on the size of someone's wallet.
You are so amazing and special! Never forget that and always believe that you DESERVE happiness! It’s totally understandable that there is probably only one person on earth who can meet your needs and I think you’ve found him.
I am 61 now...never married, no kids....I never felt the GF's I've had truly appreciated me and expressed deep love for me. I got red pilled starting with reading The Rational Male and was awakened by the truth of female nature. I have never been depressed over this...I am quite content with my life and had great success and pleasure in other areas of my life. Overall, I'm am as happy as someone can be...life is not always happy...that's a moment in time, not an end point. Western women are not capable of appropriate positioning for a healthy relationship. They have been ruined by feminist dogma that is everywhere in our culture. Keep living life to the fullest without a partner....men naturally are capable of this...we've been doing this for thousands of years. Let the chads have them while you live your life of freedom and self improvement.
Very Eloquent! I was red pilled in 2015 halfway through my marriage. The power dynamic and power struggle became an everyday occurrence. I never thought I could be tormented or emotionally abused by a woman. I didn't think they did things like that... I always thought girls were sweet and nice and full of jelly beans .... I never really understood the dark side of female behavior until I was 45 years old. Now that I've seen it, I don't ever want to see it again. Even if I get a hint of it, I turn around and walk away, I leave the room. I don't have any more patience for this behavior. It breaks my heart because I can see what they're doing.... They are completely unaware of the consequences, for now....
What I've seen over the years is that a lot of people, too many of them divorce at some point. With kids, divorced... that's a recipe for disaster financial and mental ruin, plus you destroy innocent kids. Sometimes people are happier being single and childless.
Right?.... That another thing I want to talk about is the shift towards self-reliance without children or marriage.... A future where we see a end to the institution of marriage. You need to be rich to have kids these days, for crying out loud... Plus the stats are terrible would you bet on a 50/50 chance on anything in your life... Especially a life commitment, when we all change at different speeds...... Thank you for the comment.
@@SufferousToshcouldn't have said it better myself! At first I thought it was just cos she's young and younger than me. It's cute act and puppily lovely. But after near 2 decades, the disrespect gets worst and I am just down and distressed. Glad I came across RP content to finally understood what happened
@ I am not single. I frickin’ wish!!!! What I said above was more a wish!!! I have two divorces and as soon as one relationship ends I find myself another loser. I’m also not a young woman and I actually DO have men lining up to date me
@@jotilochun80I believe u. I thk ppl said an average womn has the same pull in the dating market as a male celebrity right? Your example is proving that, thanks for confirming the rp truths. And, I do hope one of those men lining up for u is a good catch. Good luck
45, divorced, ex wife took everything, and alienated me from my two boys. Not seen them for 5 years. Fought in a corrupt court. Had a girlfriend since, until I found out she was cheating on her husband with me 😢. God loves me. That's the most warmth blanket I've ever felt in my life since. He's provided me safety love food new home financial security and learn to enjoy my peace. Your not alone. Were in this together.
@reidellis1988 it's awful, yeah I'm paying too but the heartbreak and fight over it was traumatic. Was homeless for a couple of weeks going to work with no home. They have a new father figure now, I've been completely erased from thier existence. No wonder guys give up dating.
@andysteele5707 I haven't seen my son for 12 years, and my daughter for 10. She took my son out of state when I was supposed to have 50% custody. After she alienated me, she left him there and moved to Las Vegas. A man will sacrifice his own happiness for his family. A woman will sacrifice her family for her own happiness. I bet she's not even happy.
I'm 53, divorced in 2008. Dated a lot after, some fun-some insanity, then I paused dating during covid. Never started dating again, it's daunting to play the game and I learned to be happy living by myself. Gotta have friends and family, then I'm ok! If I met a good woman, I'd consider dating again, but only if I feel like it. Best to everyone reading this. We all have to chart our own course.
I'm divorced as of 2019. I was late to marry and late to divorce. I was in a emotionally abusive relationship. I did not recognize it till later in our relationship. It was a life or death struggle for me only because I got so depressed that I thought my life would be better off if I wasn't in it.... I used alcohol to numb the pain, so I decided that I had enough, and put the bottle down then I built up enough courage to divorce her and leave her forever.
lots of good advice here. Thanks for all the intelligent comments. I gave up too a while back, 56 now. I'm not lonely, I would say i get bored sometimes when friends are busy. But I will take a bit of boredom over drama and hurt feelings.
Im 50 and single. Both my brothers happily married and most of my cousins are all married or in long term relationships. I tend to attract women who are already in relationships or women who are mentally unstable ie. Schizophrenic and bipolar. I just dont really care anymore
I once read that in his whole life, a man will only be unconditionally loved by one woman, and that woman is his mother. I have found this to be accurate.
Thanks from Denmark 🇩🇰 Im 56 and I know exactly what you mean. Im at this point...if it happens it happens If not then I accept that it was not meant to be. I trust in the universe and I choose Love over fear. I wish you the best on your journey..... And I wish that a beautiful, positive and loving woman will find you 🙏
The idea of Mr. or Mrs. 'right' - the idea of a 'soulmate' - the idea that 'there's someone out there for everyone' is simply an *idea* ...it's *not* a reality...we are fed these ideas thru movies and songs and societal conditioning from the time we are old enough to listen and halfway understand...finding true love is not a 'right' for all humans...yes, it does happen for some, but *so much* suffering is caused by believing that we have a *right* to love and to an ideal lifelong partner...humans are not monogamous by nature, despite what religion tries to claim...I am also 52 and have been single for 14 yrs...I have realized the lie and have given up on thinking I will one day find some type of ideal love situation...there is no love without pain and love *always* ends in pain whether it's due to a separation in life or by a separation in death... it hurts less when we just accept the truth that we have been lied to...this is not negative or depressing, it's simply a fact...I wish all of you the best.
Thank you, television was only invented 75 years ago, roughly. Within that time frame we've witnessed theme parks, movies and commercials all telling us that the world is a fairy tale. The night in shining armor facade has broken down and the damsel in distress no longer needs us because she knows how to use sword and shield. From an outside perspective, looking in, this is all really quite amazing if you think about it. No human in history has experienced so much, in such a short amount of time...
Your video really got me thinking because I’ve said so many of the same things to myself. Watching this sparked some soul-searching, and I realized I’ve been automatically avoiding situations where someone could let me down. It’s been a pattern holding me back, and I might not have uncovered it without your video. Thank you for sharing your story-it made a real difference to me.
That's nice to hear I think if we all expose ourselves a little more we will find the truth In our experience. I have a avoidant disposition on most occasions however I disguise it very well. She will never see it, until I am ready to show it, that's about the time I'm ready to leave and then she will begin to withdraw.. as she feels the lack of commitment. In fact I may come on strong to compensate but in the back of my head it's only to hook you.
Firstly I commend you for being brave enough to put this out there - but if you’re looking for someone to mirror you the relationship will be VERY boring, trust me. Ideally you want someone to be spontaneous, to challenge your long-held/staid beliefs and to open your eyes to a world you didn’t know existed ‘til you met her, not someone who agrees with your every word (total snooze-fest). Stop looking for a mate, try new things, go new places and someone will find you.
Married at 40, divorced at 50. Stay single, fellas. My life is so much better. I’m now retired, with no debt & with a load of cash in the bank. I spend all of my time just on me. Playing guitar, biking, weightlifting, etc. The peace and quiet in my house is now truly addictive. The best thing my ex ever did for me was to leave me. 😊
I think your expectations are too high. Many people find life partners. Most people do. Some of us just aren’t wired right. I’ve noticed that people who form a successful relationship but lose it to tragedy will invariably find another partner. Those who reach 30 or possibly 40 without having made a single close long lasting connection are destined to be alone. Interpersonal skills need to be learned at a very early age, if they are to be learned at all.
Passport Bros? Nah, really this is not a call for Companionship. This is quite the opposite, if you listen to the end of the video. This is a time for self-reflection for both sexes....
I'm definitely with you, brother. I'm the same age as you and actually just got home from a date with a 4th woman in the last 5 days with 3 more to come later this week. All this is doing is making me more frustrated and lighter in the wallet because nothing ever works out. These women have been pursuing me because they are old, lonely, desperate and washed up, not because they genuinely find anything appealing about me. And I have never truly been in love either. I can't believe this is even possible anymore given the unbelievably toxic nature of the overwhelming majority of modern women.
59 and a forever bachelor. My uncle bill took me aside at 18 and warned me to never marry!! Read The Predatory Female in my early 20s and kept dating and studying women.....but never took any of them serious. Here in Puerto Vallarta relaxing, back to Phoenix tomorrow..... awesome week. Best decision of my life was not getting married. Enjoy life brother..... it's soo much fun!! Timmy C Arizona
In spirituality - it’s called the power of Letting Go Sometimes we need to focus on other areas of our lives , then just live organically see what happens You are valuable - the day you were born - God decided you were needed in this world Be open ❤ ( best wishes , female viewer )
I’m 56 and my partner of 16 years just told me he doesn’t love me anymore, I don’t think I will ever trust again and I can’t imagine going through the whole process of getting to know someone and letting someone get to know me again. At my age I feel I’m no longer attractive to men physically, it all feels kinda hopeless tbh.
My Dear, I feel your pain deeply. My heart is heavy knowing your suffering... It's just too painful after spending so many years with one person. The bonds are deep and the memories are forever. You actually spent enough time with each other that you aged together... There is beauty in that. I see a love story and a tragedy. Please allow yourself to grieve this loss... Take time right now for just you. You don't have much time left, go do the thing that you always wanted to do. Expose yourself. no matter what you look like throw yourself out there.... The world will heal you.... I love you. deeply
@@SufferousTosh I’m doing the thing I love, I guess I just never wanted to do it alone. It’s the sort of lifestyle where it’s actually quite difficult to meet people. I think now I am destined to be alone for the rest of my life and the idea that I’ll never have someone to grow old with saddens me. Putting myself out there is not so easy when my emotions are bleeding all over the place and I really don’t have control over that. Nobody wants to be around a wound that won’t heal. There is some peace in solitude though, especially in this particular setting, I do have my animals for company and plenty of projects to focus on.
I can feel the sadness in your words... Can you tell me about the emotions that you "bleeding" all over the place. What are you feeling.. If you don't want to talk about it here.... I could look for a different forum..
@ I believed that we would be together at least for the rest of my life, so there wasn’t a facet of my personality he didn’t get to see. I bared my soul to him, he was my best friend, the person I talked to every single day of my life for 16 years, now he’s “too busy” to talk to me and on the odd occasion he ventures into my world, he is constantly checking his phone and the time and is no longer engaged in any conversation I might have. I feel like half of me is missing and that half doesn’t even think about me. everything we worked towards together has lost its sheen and what once was my dream (our dream) has just become the place where I live and work. When I try to socialize inevitably the conversation finds its way back to this gaping hole I now have inside me and all the feelings of betrayal, grief, unworthiness and a slew of other negative emotions. So, rather than “inflict” myself on others, I spend my time at home caring for my animals, exploring the things I’m interested in and learning new things. I think it’s safe to say I’ve been irreparably damaged by this experience and will most likely spend the rest of my life alone. I can’t imagine ever sharing that much of myself with another person. I feel I could go hiking with my dog in the wilderness and just keep walking. I suppose this is a lot to share here, but hey, maybe there’s someone else out there who feels like this and at least they’d know they’re not alone 😔
I am a 55 year old gay man. I am single and have given up on finding the "one" to complete my life. I am resolved to being kind to myself and somehow discovered the peace and comfort of being alone. I spend time with friends, move around the town on weekends, explore places, etc. Loneliness creeps in from time to time and I welcome it as a part of being single. I stay interested in a lot of mental pursuits. I know it can be rough, bro but I hope for all the best for you!
Thank you very much, I appreciate your words. I am very happy to continue on with the exploration of "Enlightened Interdependence", As William S Burroughs put it.
I'm sure you're not that bad to look at. At the end of the day, it's not about looks, it's about the actual person. People need to remember that looks fade and that we all grow old.
That's a real thing, and I understand the feeling. When I was in high school, I had terrible acne, It was all over my face and back it was terrible. The girls would gasp. Oh and I wanted them so bad, but I was disgusting to them. That really did not help my self-esteem. But! I was really good at something, better than the rest that put me out front, even with the acne, the girls started to love me. Look at all the ugly rock stars, they have super models... Your loved
hear, hear. am 49 and after dating a few i've realized that women are not looking for a man, they are looking for a shoe or a piece of furniture. the best woman i ever met was my ex-wife, but because of stupid stuff we fell apart. after that, all i've met are impossible women who don't know what love is, or what a relationship is.
Until you heal your wounds you will repeat the same cycles and patterns over and over again. It's never too late to build your self worth and your challenge your subconscious limiting beliefs about love. Wishing you the best of luck.
❤ thank you for brutally reminding me that I have been dedicating to my wife and my family's for the past three decades🎉😂 the biggest tangible reward is that I'm still alive, and I praise the Lord for sparing me
YEA I'M ABOUT 54 AND MARRIED FOR THE LAST 20 SOMETHING YEARS BUT I CAN RELATE TO YOU, AND I CAN SAY THAT THE ROMANTIC LOVE ASPECT DISSAREARS VERY QUICKLY. TO FIND A MATE THAT REFLECTS US IS IMPORTANT AND ALSO YOU NEED TO BE IN LOVE WITH EACH OTHER, AND IT'S VERY HARD TO FIND, MAYBE IT'S VERY RARE LIKE A NEEDLE IN A HAYSTACK..
Just turned 46 and been eternally single. Everyone I've met has always said "there's someone for everyone". I've come to realize they are right, but the kicker is you may never find that person. After decades of wallowing in depression of being single, I've now given up the search and am more content being alone. But I'm not at the point of loving myself enough to accept someone else loving me, should it happen. I am slowly accepting that there is no shame in being alone. Thank you for saying everything in my head.
I'm 35 year old from LA and every time when I meet women I get ghosted or rejected despite of being good person as I am. I don't pretend someone I'm not but I still get rejected. I feel lonely
My Dear Friend, you are not alone you are with us... Yes it is likely going to be quite some time before you find your mate. Just continue to work on yourself. Once you have achieved a level of equilibrium you will achieve a level of confidence that will be incredibly attractive to women. They melt when they see quiet confidence in men, they become puddles. Take this time to self reflect and become the best version of yourself.
@@SufferousTosh You seems like you have worked on yourself and have confident but how come you still can't find women who loves you for you? I had confident and have worked on myself but the women still rejected me.
@ Take a hard look at your self in the mirror. Be realistic about your expectations. I have never been with a 10. Start at a 3 or 4 see how you do. Don't reach for the top.
@ Another Thing, I am single by choice because I have run the gambit. Dated up and down the levels. I have not found what I am looking for, maybe completely out of reach....? So in the meantime I am going to get better, to an even higher version of myself. Maybe all the way, to not ever needing a mate at all....
@@SufferousTosh I'm not looking for 10 or model like. I'm looking for average or little below average. If working yourself is what attracts women, how come you still can't find women who loves you for you?
Brother you are speaking to the vast vast majority of us Even those who are married know of what you speak--you have a very interesting and insightful way
Just turne 62 and I've been happily Single & HAappy since my 3rd and last diovorce back in Oct '11 and I'm looking for love. but let love come find me; not on social media, not on dating apps & sites.
The last time I was in a relationship was age 53. I am 63 now and quite content being single. I don't see myself ever wanting to have my time revolve around a woman's time.
Honestly, it hurts to hear this and the many comments of the many men that choose to lead a single life. And it makes me that much more thankful that I have been in a great relationship with a great woman for almost twenty years. I certainly don’t blame them for staying single though. The feminist movement has a large percentage of these women that have been disillusioned into thinking they are perfect 10’s and, like men, are far from it. God forbid my relationship ends, I’m sure I would stay as far away from the dating scene as I can.
I lost the love of my life of 19 years. He was taken too soon! We were a team. Ups and downs, lots of laughs. Single on n off for 13 years, now. I've tried to date after the loss, but it's soooo disappointing, being used, treated badly, over the drama and the behaviours. I'm now 56 single, totally deflated. I'm in love with my Ducati haha, I go get life now and am having fun.
Right?! I am sorry for your loss, but way to get yourself up and out. Life is very short, and I know this very well. Go do that thing you wanted to do, tomorrow may not come.
That "Love of my life" shit is nonsense. People fall into this trap of getting too deep with the "energy" "seeing me". For most people you just gotta find someone who will put up with your down days and your specific form of crazy. I can put up with a few flaws if i can tell the other person cares about me and is loyal. People waste their entire lives looking for perfection
I really don't have high expectations. I date up and down the spectrum of women. I think the higher you go up in "value" the more crazy you get. The women at the lower end of the "value" spectrum are, from experience, the friendliest to men....
I'm 54 and I have found true love. My dirt bike.
I have a few years on you and as I comment, I'm looking at a Z900 in the kitchen. Just got rid of a damaged woman (mentally) after a year of wasting my time. I have two other bikes in the garage. Not worried about a soul mate, cuz they don't exist. I'm at one with my bike and when the weather clears up, I'm on my way.
@@FrankBonessa Sweet! I can't ride my vintage bikes right now either due to weather, but I can still order parts ha!
😁
Waiting for the weather to clear as well. Live to Ride, more than a cliche♥️
@@FrankBonessa I always had a fantasy about bringing the bike indoors, throwing a mattress down and sleeping next to her. Something about the smell of moto oil and petrol,,yowza!
I gave up at 33 years old. I thought well..... I'll just love myself 🥰. Now at 40, so far so good 😀.
Great choice. You've saved yourself from a LOT of money, drama and heartache!
Check out Thailand,Mexico,Colombia,Philippines. I definitely enjoy life.
Saludos
No I like sex too much to give it up. Good luck on your own though.
@@kerryfoster1 Sex isn't love, you can find sex easily
Please don't waste your life like this because you sound a decent soul. I know what it's like when you've been hurt, bled dry financially or betrayed in one way or another but life is too precious to live it alone. So many of my friends have predeceased me and it's taught me that life's better shared with someone even if it doesn't entail full-time commitment: just someone to be silly with, to laugh with and do daft stuff with. Not everyone is out to hurt you, I promise.
56 here and about to be 57. Tossed in the towell years ago realizing that "she" isn't out there. You're not alone. There are lots of us out there.
Thank you, I am shocked at the reaction to this video, I knew there were a lot of us feeling this but this is overwhelming.
55 here in UK .. been single since 2010 .. not intentionally or anything .. I do love women .. but its the demands of what they want .. which ultimately I cant match ie mansion house , aston martin , chuck load of money to sustain this fairytale lifestyle ... Im quite happy on my own .. just lost my Mum recently - Mum and Dad were married for 58 years .. kind of looking after Dad .. im not carer as such .. but for time being its fallen on to me help as im the only child .. but I do want to travel and do stuff whilst I still can and my dad knows this and understands .. but both Dad and I are still grieving from loss of Mum and dad is frustrated with his body falling apart - hes 85 going on 86 end of this year .
@@willboa5365 Same situation, but I'm female. I've found that a large proportion of men wear masks - they suck the energy out of a woman, then abandon them on a whim. They often pretend to be 'together' emotionally and an Alpha male but in reality they were raised by (for example) a domineering father or coercively controlling mother so grow up to be men who can't relax into a relationship but are constantly striving to 'be better' to live up to their (perceived) parental expectations. And who pays the price - their partners, who get abandoned even when they are decent souls who love them to the moon and back. It's a sad reflection on today's society that men and women are so damaged that neither sex trusts the other any more.
55 here, tossed my towel in 7 years ago. Never married, never had kids. Happy and free 🙂
@@willboa5365 My folks were married 48 years, high school sweethearts and I'm an only child as well. Just a completely different life back then. Mom passed (70 yrs young) in '16 cancer, dad '23 (78 yrs young) parkinson's. I was also a caretaker for my dad at the end. I've never married or had children.
56 and single. Relationships are a drain on your energy and resources. Stay single and genuine. Don't care what people think. Life is short. Live it on your terms.
Lonely…. Dont fool yourself
@huubdrums Alone but not lonely. Don't fool yourself.
@@Mr-S.C. feel sorry for you…. Having a partner is ofcourse better, dont give up friend 🥲
@@huubdrumsyou seem to be a condescending dik.
What if your father had chosen so???
Loneliness or drama, you choose.
well said 🏡😎
VAST difference between loneliness, and peaceful solitude.
@bobjames6622 Well put but it appears the same from the outside to most everyone else. Some people like drama. Different strokes,,
Absolutely Right
@mustbetrue1602 You must be absolutely off your rockers! I would be RUNNING in the opposite direction just as fast as my legs could carry me. That whole thing just screams HOT! MESS!
I'm 53, single since 6 years, and I will stay single. It's stressless, peaceful, ... I'm not interrested in a relationship anymore.
@@bergmichel until you fall sick or become disabled
That moment you realize no one cares about you. It's all good. Move on, free.
Even your parents ?
Yes they only cares for you only that much which profits them @@Matowix
I believe he’s referring to romantic relationships.
YES!
@@MatowixFor some people, yes.
My father told me when I was young, pouting about a girl that had just dumped me. Son, one day you're going to be grateful. All those girls you wanted...didn't want you. Boy was he right on the nail!
If this were a game show, the announcer would exclaim, Sir "You Chose Poorly!", Followed by a nasty buzzer.
@jamest2861 these women all did you a big favor. If they don’t want you, then you don’t want them…..
Women are too fickle for that kind of crap. Avoid them, even if they try to make some kind of contact with you and then just get snubbed off. They all just resort to tears on social media.
A man who expects nothing is a man who's expectations are always met.
Sir... Please Sir... Can you please keep it down, I don't want them to know the answer yet...
A solitary path doesn’t have to be a sad existence. You find meaning in other ways. Some refer to that as coping.i see it as overcoming adversity
That’s right. My motto “expect nothing and accept everything good and bad “.
If you hide yourself, women can’t see the real you. This isn’t some magical trick, it’s choosing to be vulnerable and open. Expecting an instant knowing is likely a figment of the mythology like soul mates or something. I forged a real meaningful relationship by becoming known through words and deeds. It’s sad but it’s entirely your own doing. Stop believing in fairytales. You’re a grown man.
@@mustbetrue1602 the Life of a Cuck is the worst. Red Pill like this Man is the way to go.
I hear you, brother! My dad told me nobody loves you. They just love what they can get from you. He was a very smart old man.
I wish I had a dad.....
A zen teaching changed my life. It's about becoming the person you want to be with. You realise how difficult it is to be that person and that it is an ideal. But it also means that you realise who you are. Biologically and evolutionary speaking, men and women aren't meant to be together for more than about 3 years, during which time, they should have reproduced at least once, maybe twice, and then move on. Then they reproduce with someone else. It leads to strength of the species. Also, people lived very, very short lives. Fast forward to today, and we have a societal construct about being in relationships with the same person FOREVER. This just isn't how we are hard-wired. These constructs come from religious ideals which form the bedrock of society. Very, very few species mate for life. And humans are not one of them. This is the con that we live with. It doesn't mean that it can't happen. If it does, it's a fluke. Now, we live much longer lives. However, the biological needs that drive our species have faded away many years earlier. Also, for men, they have, in my opinion, a greater need for companionship, even more so in later years. I know of many women who can survive quite well, if not better, alone. Men, on the other hand, don't manage as well. I was with my last partner for 13 years when his life was cruelly cut short. He wanted me to find someone else. I told him in his last few days, that would never happen. 12 years later at age 64 and I am still true to my word. I have not even looked or felt the need for someone else. First, because he was the love of my life, and second, because I am happy to live alone and be content and at peace. Sometimes you need to stop looking and expect nothing. You have to live your live unconditionally and with no demands on others. Then, if you meet someone who can meet your needs and you meet their needs, then good luck. Remember, rejection is not about you necessarily. Rejection means that someone needs are not being met and they will move on to find someone who will meet their needs.
Wise man.
Your father was bang on right correct..
He told you the truth..
@@SufferousTosh
And you never had a father Sir..?
I'am confused.
You're better off single. I'm 53 and crossed this threshold years ago. Focus on self improvement!
@@mustbetrue1602 exactly, these guys can't admit that they need other people.
The fact that you used “ you’re” and not “your” made my day… it’s the number one grammatical error I see on UA-cam…
When you begin to understand female nature, you will love your solitary world far more.
You mean the human nature? It’s no secret that the most socially skilled and attractive people are desirable in terms of relationships and socializing.
Romantic love is a fantasy. It can be found in French poetry from 1700s. Dont feel bad because a fantasy does not come true.
I don't think he is talking about romantic love though.
Romantic love, French poetry from 1700s..... Turned into Disney.
Shakespeare invented it in the 1500s
No its not , i believe in romantic love
We are all creators power of the universe.
People looking in the wrong plces
@@sr0716 Wrong. Romanticism is a gynocentric fairy tale created by aristocratic women of the Middle Ages. Chivalry and pedeslalizing women is a childish notion that replaced real mature adult love based on mutual respect and lasting bonds with a Disney princess world view. It's where the ridiculous tradition of a man getting on his knees groveling for a woman to marry him bearing an expensive ring came from. 1000 years of this plus modern notions and changing natural role models killed the healthy natural dynamic that held civilization together so long. Now countries are having problems just keeping their populations at replacement levels, especially in the west.
Very fortunate, my wife of nearly 40 years walked over to me in a Social club in South Yorkshire, in late 1982 and simply said ‘l’m Nicola….’ I have counted my blessings every moment since but such things belong to another era now.
Great story, and what stories are made of. I crave the old days. I hope they come back. Times are broken now and we are in a war of ideologies.
Some people are meant to be single. Like myself for instance.
@@godsire6217 Me too..👁️
And me
I just choose to be single because people are annoying.
I met my husband when I was thirty nine. We have been married for thirty one years. Like you I had given up looking because I thought, “he isn’t out there”. Then boom he walked into the office where I had just started a new job. We were both married previously. We have had our ups and down. I think love is wanting the best for the other one. Wanting them to be happy. There are a lot of selfish people who don’t think that way. A sense of humour is good too. My husband still makes me laugh infact that was one of the things that attracted me to him. As well as his smile and the twinkle in his eyes. I knew he fancied me right away and it was mutual. I hope you find someone to love you and who puts you first. 🙋🏻♀️
From my perspective, once you have lifted the veil of how men form relationships with women, you understand that idealistic love is impossible. At 53, I've had one night stands, up to marriage, and now single. The vast majority of couples I interact with, are involved in different degrees of transactional relationships. Marriage (and long term dating) nearly always has a high level of that behavior. The truth is that men typically offer resources, status, and stability in exchange for sex (at her discretion), and basic companionship. If you're ok with that, then you can find someone. Personally, I don't meet women that I think are worth that level of investment. They've become overtly entitled, and many times greedy. It's a repulsive attitude, and what has kept me single for years.
At some point, I resigned myself to the reality that I may never have what I consider a good, fulfilling relationship again in my life. It's not a pleasant thought, but it's an honest one.
Very well spoken.... I think you absolutely nailed it.... This is exactly my sentiment. Thank You
A zen teaching changed my life. It's about becoming the person you want to be with. You realise how difficult it is to be that person and that it is an ideal. But it also means that you realise who you are. Biologically and evolutionary speaking, men and women aren't meant to be together for more than about 3 years, during which time, they should have reproduced at least once, maybe twice, and then move on. Then they reproduce with someone else. It leads to strength of the species. Also, people lived very, very short lives. Fast forward to today, and we have a societal construct about being in relationships with the same person FOREVER. This just isn't how we are hard-wired. These constructs come from religious ideals which form the bedrock of society. Very, very few species mate for life. And humans are not one of them. This is the con that we live with. It doesn't mean that it can't happen. If it does, it's a fluke. Now, we live much longer lives. However, the biological needs that drive our species have faded away many years earlier. Also, for men, they have, in my opinion, a greater need for companionship, even more so in later years. I know of many women who can survive quite well, if not better, alone. Men, on the other hand, don't manage as well. I was with my last partner for 13 years when his life was cruelly cut short. He wanted me to find someone else. I told him in his last few days, that would never happen. 12 years later at age 64 and I am still true to my word. I have not even looked or felt the need for someone else. First, because he was the love of my life, and second, because I am happy to live alone and be content and at peace. Sometimes you need to stop looking and expect nothing. You have to live your live unconditionally and with no demands on others. Then, if you meet someone who can meet your needs and you meet their needs, then good luck. Remember, rejection is not about you necessarily. Rejection means that someone needs are not being met and they will move on to find someone who will meet their needs.
The most important relationship you'll ever have is with yourself! So we all need to work on ourselves first. If you are going to rely on some future wife/husband to save you and make you happy, that is ridiculous. Partner can only compliment you. And lets be honest, most relationships don't last nowadays anyway. Its super rare to see someone being married for 30 years even 20. In the western world that is slowly disappearing.
The wall gets 'em all. Hang in there. Women are never the prize.
Well said. Exactly.
Im single at 50. Made the decision to not go through the BS anymore. Everyone is broken.. including myself! Trying to find the puzzle pieces of yourself is imperative.. Sometimes it is lonely, sometimes, it would be awesome to have that "person" but overall, I don't want to be with someone for the sake of being with someone... I'd rather be on my own.. So many people coupled up out there are frigging miserable. I don't think men are bad, I don't think woman are bad.. I think people are people and the ones that have substance and good values etc they are bloody hard to come by. Awesome channel - Ive subbed. Thanks from NZ :)
A few years back, I was at a party with about 30 of my closest friends. I remember sitting on the couch and watching as everybody was having conversations. It seemed to me, that everybody was portraying an image of what they want people to see. The fake kissing and the hugs, none of it seemed real to me. I noticed it in my own relationship as well. when at parties my wife, at the time, would pretend that she was into me, but it only felt like a lie and I found myself repulsed.
@@SufferousTosh I've become a bit of a hermit over the last 1-2 years.. Which is not overly healthy.. Life needs balance.. But again, I would rather keep myself than be in fake.. Its funny when you "wake up" to life.. Maybe its an age thing.. But yep, I hear ya! The fake chat, the fake persona.. I recoil from it. If we need to talk about the "weather" and have no depth in conversation/thoughts/feelings etc.. Then theres nothing to talk about haha. Thanks for the reply! Keep em coming. Great real content! ;)
@@SufferousTosh I think you are over judging. Do you understand that people are not very evolved? To cope with our small brains and especially in social environments, we sometimes have to fake smiles? We cannot go deep with everyone. That does not mean they are bad people. Have you considered how many people in that room have contemplated suicide and many will follow through? Have you considered that everyone struggles? It is not just about pleasing you or acting how you think they should. Everyone struggles to get by and do their best. Very few are just being phony to get over on others. Some do sure, but most do not. I think part of the issue is that you think you are perfect and other need to meet your standards. I doubt you are perfect. You get what you give. Maybe look for a nice Asian woman. Many are very sincere and respectful. Not all- but many are. Try to be a bit more empathetic and less judgmental of others. I think you have a big ego and you have been hurt. Not even saying you are all wrong but I think there is a pattern with you and relationships. You feel like you try too hard and it does not work. You said you have 30 close friends. That's pretty good son. But is even that not good enough. You sat there, at a party, not joining them, but judging them. I think you have some work to do on yourself. If you focus on YOU first, the rest will fall into place. I am not even the best looking, or smartest dude, but I have never had your issues. I met the best woman in the world. We did not rush things. We went strong for 25 years. We recently concluded our journey though no real fault on either side- things just change. Stuff happens. That is life. Deal with it and move on, or don't.
Namaste.
Maybe you should date Tosh? Being aware of your past addictions is ok I guess, but I think by using your screen name, you are living in your past. Move on. Yes, stay sober but don't keep reminding yourself every single day that you were a drunk. It is not healthy. It becomes your identity. Why not just- "Happy Kiwi!" You can't let it go. I would run too if I saw that. No offense to you. It is unnecessary baggage.
Thank You for your comment.... Maybe I should give some back story to this video and some history on how I have come to this point in my life.... Or maybe you can watch the video "I Was Drunk".... Where I talk about my Alcoholism and how I lost everything...
I am 52 and single too. But my young daughter gives me enough company that I don’t really feel lonely. I am alone but not lonely. My day job is so brutal that honestly I love peace and quiet. Last thing I want is a dramatic neurotic woman in my life. 😅
I hear you, I am a male nurse working in critical care; no woman is worth my time and sanity. I've seen enough of them at work.
@@tdgdbs1 oh man I bet you've witnessed this first hand. I was just at an urgent care for an ear infection and the women there annoyed me. The women in the front office and the nurse who checked me out before seeing the doctor's assistant.. all annoying.. too emotional and dramatic for me. Stoicism is coming back! (i hope)
I'm right alongside you, brother. I've had many relationships but never felt loved. Eventually you have to cut your losses and walk away.
I'm 65 and I know it's a done deal and I'm good with that and actually enjoy my aloneness and freedom from all the drama of relationships other than me and Source and Mother Nature., Which is drama free and tranquility. Aloneness is All One Ness. Never alone.
❤️ Beautifully put
I love this truth.
I just came across your video. Your authenticity is beautiful. What you are looking for is someone who is authentic, grounded, and a little whimsical. You have a lot of wisdom to share. Please keep sharing your thoughts. Saying hello from South Africa!
Hello, from New England! Thank you kindly... I am bowing, but you can't see me...
Single 57 yo woman here. I gave up. Online dating is awful. Seemed like sex was all anyone was looking for in my experience. I now have embraced being single. It is heaven. I have discovered my true self and soul and realize I am happier alone. I am not lonely. I hope that you are not feeling lonely and find someone that sees you. But this may be an opportunity to see yourself.
They want whores, like Instagram models and the women on only fans lol😅
That's why they're lonely and sad.. they can't get what they want.
That’s great, sister! I’m with you. 68yrs old and happier than I’ve ever been living alone, pursuing my own interests and never lonely😊
The worst place to look for love is a woman's heart. If you want true love, get a pet.
I had a beautiful bulldog named, Rupert. He died when I lost my house and my wife. Hmm.. I see the beginnings of a country song here... Thanks for watching
Heck
That wouldn't have been easy... and yes, it would make a fantastic country music song 🎵 😊
Beagle Power🐾.
Well said.
You keep a pet, take care of its hygiene and health, give it food and share your home. You give him your time to walk around and enjoy the affection.
Try this with a woman and you will be surprised how stupid you are towards women. You want to give it to an animal, but you don't want to give it to a human. Why? You allow your dog to do a lot, he will poop and pee, and you will only get angry. But you want to divorce a woman after some drama. Use your brain. Man's love is only for another person. The rest is respect and compassion.
Just found this vid, and hence your channel...
A lovely chat, thank you 😊
Humanity has been so messed up over the last few years, and it is very sad to see relationships failing. We all deserve respect and support through these difficult times, and doing life on your own is just bloody hard work, and expensive
What you looking for, is Not
of this World 🌍🚶
I have gathered that....thus far.. A neighboring channel called it "The Unicorn".
very true. Men are from Mars and women from Venus!
And the Band Played On…
51 here. Also single many years. I have zero interest in dating or getting to know a woman. They have nothing to offer you if your not having children with them. I hope more and more men choose this path because the truth is most women just aren't worthy of us. Its essential for us men to have lots of hobbies. I like gardening, playing guitar and tending to my 155 house plants. You know i was so gullible and naive to the true nature of women. I really believed there was women out there that authentically loved their men. In my mid 40s i stumbled onto the red pill and began to see thru all the lies. The only love from women typically are from your biological family. So i went thru my life with this dream of finding my best friend in a woman. That dream drove me up until 49 years old. Then i finally thru in the towel. The irony is the amount of women who are attracted to me now that im no longer interested. I have to say when i compare my life to when im with women vs being alone, being alone always wins. Most women are never happy and its impossible to make them happy no matter what you do
I found the RP at around 30. Now I can see through all the BS like matrix code. Pretty much every guy I know is still on the hamster wheel.
Younger guy here, about to turn 26. Back in 2023, I happened to be in conversation with a group of men ages ranging from mid 50s to mid 60s. It was almost as if I was speaking a foreign language to them when I was explaining just how it is dealing with women in pretty much all age groups nowadays. They eventually resorted to attacking me personally, telling me that I didn't have any real experience with women and that I was avoiding women because I "didn't want to have my heart broken." Thinking back on it, they reminded me a lot of those women who, when you call them out on their behavior or explain things to them, resort to saying "who hurt you?!" even though that probably has nothing to do with the subject at hand.
Since then, I have been exploring the dating pool, and needless to say, I have found all of is said here to be true. Unnecessary drama, random outbursts of "you're losing interest in me" when I'm doing my best to become acquainted, and a constant need for entertainment and never satisfied with any level of effort being put in. I remained alone all throughout high school and college, and thought it would be a good idea to explore now that I have graduated. I thought I had found one that was reasonable and loving, but as she's gotten more comfortable, that pretty little façade is slowly falling away. I wanted to be optimistic, but I very much agree that none of that is worth the trouble.
Your a very smart lad.... Thanks for chiming in... I love your confidence at such a young age.... Clearly you know yourself and that puts you a the top of the food chain. You are going to be very successful..
@ You'll be thankful for this as you get older. I have a similar story. About 7 or 8 years ago I was at work. Talking to older guys in their 50's and 60's. Probably 6 guys. One by one they told a story of how their Ex took the house, all their money, put them on alimony. Ruined their lives. The worst is when one said he had 5 years left to pay off his mortgage. Then had to start over. It's all a scam bro.
A woman doesn't love. They just own someone till they get bored and move on.
@@greyguy69 we are cannon fodder
@SufferousTosh what is a cannon fodder?
Bet you get a lot of dates, huh😊
Tis the way of the female
They use to say that about the expendable troops (fodder) in front the cannons during the old wars... Cannons filled with grape shot. Can you imagine.... A giant shotgun really.
Guy, I'm going to be 54 soon, I've been in 3 very horrible relationships with women years ago. Do yourself a favor and just accept your loneliness and focus on yourself. Trust me you're better off.
Just as I commented recently, I think this should be acknowledged as a point of rest.... for both sexes to self reflect. Just sit back and question what and who you are... Come to terms with ego
I will be 54 in the summer. I've had 3 horrible relationships and I've been solo for 9 years in February 2025. I've completely given up on relationships. To be honest, I absolutely love single life. I go on holiday alone, I go out for days and I love going for walks in woodland and parks. I really don't see what the problem is with being solo. I'd rather be on my own than be with the wrong person. Also, after past experiences with the guys I met/allowed into my life, no way am I prepared to put myself through that kind of stress again. 3 times, I've had to start over again with regards to living arrangements and furnishings. I refuse to go down that route again.
Gen X here. I always rebelled against women and media claiming men couldn't cope with daily household chores. Also german army taught me basic skills. Whenever I noticed romance was out of the window, i.e. as soon as modern women explained their beliefs to me , I walked. Money was always tight. Forrest Gump stopped running saying :" I'm tired! I'm going home!"
Forget Love. Look for RESPECT.😊
Attraction is superior to anything else
Your problem is that you are looking for a magical connection. That just isnt most relationships, even the good ones. You're expecting too much. Life is not a RomCom.
Absolutely agree. Through relationships with others we learn and grow. Even a bad relationship teaches us something valuable. Before you dive into another relationship though, l suggest you heal your heart. One way would be through meditation. Bring all those who have hurt you in your awareness and forgive yourself and others and let go of any pain and resentment you carry. Try to find the lessons in past experiences, did they teach you to love yourself, place boundaries, be less judgmental, more forgiving? Until you heal your heart and make peace with the past, you will keep manifesting the same people over and over. Blessings ❤
Enjoy the journey of “YOU”. When you love yourself and live your dreams the person meant for you will be drawn to you through the vibe your giving off of being happy with yourself and life in general. The universe works for you if you let it my friend
You don’t need a woman, you need a dog
I need a English Bulldog.... I love them so much.
If you love a dog it will come back 10 fold, what woman will do that?
If your looking for a companion get a dog. If your looking for a mate get a woman.
Border collie if you want a genuine connection. Highly intelligent and loving dogs. You’ll lose a few pounds too.
@@andynorton5830I'd settle for a woman that loves me back 1 fold
I'm an idiot, it only took me 65 years to figure this out. I still miss my love but I can't stand a liar and that killed our relationship. And Covid 19 of course.
My friend, my heart is absolutely broken for what has happened over the last 10 to 15 years. Not only is my heart broken for the suffering of men, but my heart is broken for the women as well because they have no idea what they are doing.... They are completely unconscious right now. We can see it clear as day.
The impossible physics of nine ll, CGI bugs, world wars, Iraq, Viet Nam, Korea, Iran Contra... yeah, eventually constant barrage of propaganda wakes up those who have a sense of reality.
Maybe we can turn this conversation into the Great Awakening.
I'm 78 and have been married to the same man for 56 years. My son is 53 and recently divorced after 25 years of marriage and two sons. I think, more than anything and no matter what generation you're a part of, it comes down to whether you really WANT to be in a long term committed relationship/partnership. Unfortunately, people don't mirror each other. That's a very common and unhelpful misunderstanding. Liking/loving a person for who they are not what they can give you is what you should be looking for. Going the distance with another person means going the distance with yourself. You have to know who you are before you can show up for another person. They aren't there to reflect you if you're in a healthy partnership. They're there to share the journey and that's something you work out together along the way. Sharing a history is absolutely wonderful if you really are committed to that end. Take a look at your expectations and look for someone who you admire and have fun with. There's no perfect person out there but there are lot's of people who want to be there for someone with all their imperfections just like you!!
This is SO true and very wise of you to recognise this fact. I truly believe, after all that I've experienced in my own life, that there are people in society who are just destined to walk through life alone (a 'lone wolf' is what psychologists call them) and there's nothing wrong with that at all. But what upsets me is when someone (like some of the commenters here) have been through a traumatic relationship and it leaves them understandably bitter and this either taints their next relationship or leaves them not wanting to try another one, which is such a tragedy.
This is what my parents said, but none of my kids have ever even thought.
You're correct on all counts. It's not about finding the right person, it's about "being" the right person. And it's required from both sides to make it continue to work. Knowing who you are first, sacrifice, patience, work, commitment, loyalty, trust, respect, understanding and a decent sense of humor can go a long way.
I was so very fortunate to find my love at 37 years old; after many many tries. But it did not come easy; we both struggled and worked very hard to make it work due to past baggage on both sides. We were married for 30 years; lost him to cancer at age 61 one year ago. The price of love is loss; at some point. I still cry every day missing him. He died in my arms and took part of my soul with him.
Wishing you all the best! He will always be with you!
@marciahenthorn9050 So sorry for your loss. After losing my long term partner you realise how you never stop loving them. The sense of loss is immense.
@@30kendel Thanks for understanding. It is so true; I never said goodbye to him as he will never leave me and I will never leave him.
@@kerryfoster1 So true and thanks for understanding. I am sorry that you have this also in your life,
Oh my dear, I have read your words, my heart is broken for you.... I am very sorry for you loss... I can only hope to have an experience like this.. Although, very tragic. The greatest gift a person could receive. You loved and I am honored to meet you, because I don't know what that is like. I have felt this only for a brief moment, in my youth... I want to know this kind of love... This is what I am looking for... Just for a little bit.
You’re not alone mate
I feel you buddy. I get it. You aren't alone.
Things in the west are in a strange place right now. It might be a generation or two before they get back to right. Take solace in the knowledge that things will get better.
In the meantime, focus on yourself, do things you love, help people, be strong, be masculine, be healthy, mentor the youth, listen to the stories of the old, and know that in the end everything is going to be alright.
Simple as that, really.... This is a warning message to all the people that come after us. I wonder what they will call this period of time in the future?
@@SufferousTosh Screw 🪛
and be Screwed 🔩
Are you wearing a beret?
@@SufferousTosh Exactly. I hope they study the things that lead to this period, so they don't repeat it. Maybe they'll call this "The Big Lonely" or "The Lonely Age". Probably something like that.
Take care of yourself. Create your own happiness brother.
@@kiralight2929It’s been in the works for over a century now to destroy the family unit, turn the sexes against each other and control the entire world….a group of small hat tribe members have put it in writing and their plan is in its latter stages.
The only woman that will love a man unconditionally is his mother.....all other women at best will love you for something you can do for or give them
As a man, that is a depressing thought. What is real love anyway? Hollywood lied. And don't get me started on Disney.
I miss my mom.
Seriously.... On my tombstone will be inscribed " Disney took my wife, my kids, house, dog, and my truck"
Very Funny
My mom is a sociopath. Her love was fully conditional. We stayed in child care homes and boarding schools and despite her being well off we had to pay full rent if we wanted to come home for weekends and holidays, from the age of 16. Many a time we couldnt.
I’m 56 , lost everything at 50 ..
I learnt that woman aren’t capable of true love , unconditional love..
they will always seek unconditional love from a man, yet in return you will only receive conditional affection from her .
Women love children and pets .. they do not love men
I could say the same thing about men
@ you could indeed, but it wouldn’t be true
@@neraknatera9977In my experience it really isn't true including my siblings they always talk about money and buying stuff , rather than focusing on relationships and they are too materialistic.And yes they love wallets and animals than anything else.
So wrong
@@goodquestion8064she means Chad
I’m a single woman and it took me a long time to get here, the acceptance that I’m better off alone. The only men I have dealt with for the past 20 yrs were just after sex.
Genuine woman can’t find a real man because he is either taken or gave up on the idea or is too traumatised from previous relationships and just wants sex. I get it.
The reason why this change happened was due to the way society has been changed. These days it’s not abt who you are it’s abt what job you have, how much money you have or can I screw you over for a visa.
All I ever wanted was to meet someone who treated me with respect, I don’t want your house, your money etc, I don’t even want to live with someone (well not for a very long time if the relationship was secure), I just wanted to be appreciated and I would do the same for him.
I empathize with you completely
A Unicorn speaks. Your thinking is rare and true. It is a breath of fresh air to read your words... Much love
Man I get it. Disney movies don’t exist in real life. Women cannot love a man the way a man wants them to… this is the truth. I’m 67, I date but no committed relationships. They just don’t work well over time.
That was deeper than I expected, thank you. In particular, I liked how you explained your distance as being the result of not feeling seen/mirrored - basically, to a lack of empathy and understanding. I have had that experience a lot, too.
...
I would look to women for intimacy (in the psychological sense, I mean, not just physical). I worked hard to make myself capable of that kind of relationship. And although I found moments where it happened, it was brief, it didn't stay long. Furthermore, it didn't seem nearly as glorious as I'd imagined. It was nice, to be sure, but it wasn't all that wonderful, and in fact I learned that I didn't want all that closeness/intimacy I'd been dreaming about. I was in fact more comfortable with a little distance.
...
And then, much later, I got "red pilled" to the truth that women, by and large, do not love men the way men want to be loved. They do not love men for who they are. They love them for and because of what those men do for them - provide, protect, attend, validate, boost status, give emotional thrills, and so forth. I suspect you have learned this, too. It was a bitter pill to swallow, but it made sense of a lot of my experience.
...
For reference, I'm 63 and walked away from the dating/mating game at 48, 15 years ago. I've been doing pretty well, me and my dog. I have my ups and downs like anyone, and occasionally I will feel a pang of loneliness, but it doesn't last long. I seem to get by pretty well with the companionship of my dog (a good internal relationship helps, too, as does a spiritual connection of some sort). The older I've gotten, the less interested I have become in coupling up in a serious, long-term way.
...
Anyhow, thought-provoking video, and deeper and more honest than I expected. Subscribed.
The "red pill" was very difficult to swallow. I tried to wash it down with booze. That didn't work. So, I put the bottle down, and as the fog lifted I saw that I was being abused by a woman. I built up courage and divorced her. She respects me know..... Hmmm
Thank you very much for your support I think we all need it.
You're not emotionally available= you're not gullible enough. Is there a school where women learn to say that?
Yes... At the school of, How to make your man turn and run away..
Men will sacrifice their happiness for their family.
Women will sacrifice their family for their happiness.
...really? Is that why there are so many single mom's out there struggling to raise children on their own?
@ ya because she sacrificed the family and he left.
Now she learns the hard way
Genius lol
Treat the men good and they wont leave, its not rocket science.
Most of them get around so much they do not even know who the biological the dad is.
Spot on. This happened to me.
Thank you for sharing these important feelings and perspectives on your life. It takes courage to show vulnerability. There’s nothing wrong with you, being single. I only would suggest that as a Man, focus on being the best version of yourself, your purpose, your goals, your journey, and I believe you’ll find that either you don’t need a Woman or being this way Women will be drawn to you.
I like this very much. I think you are absolutely right. In the journey of self discovery we find that we did not need the thing we were searching for all of these years.
I hear you, my friend.
I'm 52 as well.
At least I can say I struck out 3 times. Like almost closed the deal 3 times.
I experienced true love. The kind you do grieve over once it was gone.
It was a good relationshp at the time and for that, I am thankful.
(the whole "Better to have loved and lost" kind of deal)
And right now, I joke that I am now on "Womenopause".
I've had my taste of different kinds of relationships and checked a few boxes.
I'm content with that.
"Womenopause", that is hilarious. I just had a friend text me: Men on Pause..
Was married for 16 years, and I agree that it's hard to find someone who understands. That said, with each of my dogs, I have found the sort of connection that you talk about. I can have my head rest on their head and feel a connection, feel a shared peace, and a feeling of belonging. Dog really is our best friend, because they do not play any games.
I agree with you about when we find our soulmate. We will see our own reflection in them. Great thought!!
I met my husband in my mid-50s. I was doing something I enjoyed and he was doing something he enjoyed. 15 years later we’re still doing that and other things (but not everything) together.
I will never know what goes on inside another person. I love and respect my husband. If your partner can only be a mirror, it sounds narcissistic.
Literally everything you said was fully relatable to me. Thanks for articulating your thoughts and feelings on this so well!
They are not in love with you.
They are in love with your wallet
Yes, there is some really fake/shallow people out there. I find it really sad that so many relationships/marriages are based on the size of someone's wallet.
You are so amazing and special! Never forget that and always believe that you DESERVE happiness! It’s totally understandable that there is probably only one person on earth who can meet your needs and I think you’ve found him.
That's the nicest thing to say to someone, tears....
I am 61 now...never married, no kids....I never felt the GF's I've had truly appreciated me and expressed deep love for me. I got red pilled starting with reading The Rational Male and was awakened by the truth of female nature. I have never been depressed over this...I am quite content with my life and had great success and pleasure in other areas of my life. Overall, I'm am as happy as someone can be...life is not always happy...that's a moment in time, not an end point. Western women are not capable of appropriate positioning for a healthy relationship. They have been ruined by feminist dogma that is everywhere in our culture. Keep living life to the fullest without a partner....men naturally are capable of this...we've been doing this for thousands of years. Let the chads have them while you live your life of freedom and self improvement.
Very Eloquent! I was red pilled in 2015 halfway through my marriage. The power dynamic and power struggle became an everyday occurrence. I never thought I could be tormented or emotionally abused by a woman. I didn't think they did things like that... I always thought girls were sweet and nice and full of jelly beans .... I never really understood the dark side of female behavior until I was 45 years old. Now that I've seen it, I don't ever want to see it again. Even if I get a hint of it, I turn around and walk away, I leave the room. I don't have any more patience for this behavior. It breaks my heart because I can see what they're doing.... They are completely unaware of the consequences, for now....
What I've seen over the years is that a lot of people, too many of them divorce at some point. With kids, divorced... that's a recipe for disaster financial and mental ruin, plus you destroy innocent kids. Sometimes people are happier being single and childless.
Right?.... That another thing I want to talk about is the shift towards self-reliance without children or marriage.... A future where we see a end to the institution of marriage. You need to be rich to have kids these days, for crying out loud... Plus the stats are terrible would you bet on a 50/50 chance on anything in your life... Especially a life commitment, when we all change at different speeds...... Thank you for the comment.
@@SufferousToshcouldn't have said it better myself! At first I thought it was just cos she's young and younger than me. It's cute act and puppily lovely. But after near 2 decades, the disrespect gets worst and I am just down and distressed. Glad I came across RP content to finally understood what happened
Singlehood is a dream! It’s no chore, it’s adventurous, joyful, spontaneous and so much more abundant!!!!
That's what younger women try and tell themselves until they get older and realize men are no longer lining up to date them any more.
@ I am not single. I frickin’ wish!!!! What I said above was more a wish!!! I have two divorces and as soon as one relationship ends I find myself another loser. I’m also not a young woman and I actually DO have men lining up to date me
@@robertc7072don't forget they are on easy mode in terms of dating.
@@jotilochun80I believe u. I thk ppl said an average womn has the same pull in the dating market as a male celebrity right? Your example is proving that, thanks for confirming the rp truths. And, I do hope one of those men lining up for u is a good catch. Good luck
@ I think true joy is in singlehood!! Really the thought of just ANYTHING without having to think about another person is FREEDOM!
45, divorced, ex wife took everything, and alienated me from my two boys. Not seen them for 5 years. Fought in a corrupt court. Had a girlfriend since, until I found out she was cheating on her husband with me 😢. God loves me. That's the most warmth blanket I've ever felt in my life since. He's provided me safety love food new home financial security and learn to enjoy my peace. Your not alone. Were in this together.
My ex did the same to me. I paid child support for eight years and never saw my son.
@reidellis1988 it's awful, yeah I'm paying too but the heartbreak and fight over it was traumatic. Was homeless for a couple of weeks going to work with no home. They have a new father figure now, I've been completely erased from thier existence. No wonder guys give up dating.
@reidellis1988 sorry to hear mate. Hope things are better for you now.
@andysteele5707 I haven't seen my son for 12 years, and my daughter for 10. She took my son out of state when I was supposed to have 50% custody. After she alienated me, she left him there and moved to Las Vegas. A man will sacrifice his own happiness for his family. A woman will sacrifice her family for her own happiness. I bet she's not even happy.
@@andysteele5707 I am sad every day.
My husband and I met on his 50th birthday. Four years later, we married.
I'm 53, divorced in 2008. Dated a lot after, some fun-some insanity, then I paused dating during covid. Never started dating again, it's daunting to play the game and I learned to be happy living by myself. Gotta have friends and family, then I'm ok! If I met a good woman, I'd consider dating again, but only if I feel like it. Best to everyone reading this. We all have to chart our own course.
@@tomy.1846 True
I'm divorced as of 2019. I was late to marry and late to divorce. I was in a emotionally abusive relationship. I did not recognize it till later in our relationship. It was a life or death struggle for me only because I got so depressed that I thought my life would be better off if I wasn't in it.... I used alcohol to numb the pain, so I decided that I had enough, and put the bottle down then I built up enough courage to divorce her and leave her forever.
@SufferousTosh Believe Me, when I
say, You done yourself a favor.
Blood pressure back to normal.
No more rocks 🪨in ya jaws.🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣👁️
Isn't strange and even sad to call it a 'game'. However, l think you may be right. It all feels like a insider joke to keep the population going.
I am with you my man. I am fed up with all the drama and mind games and tests.
lots of good advice here. Thanks for all the intelligent comments. I gave up too a while back, 56 now. I'm not lonely, I would say i get bored sometimes when friends are busy. But I will take a bit of boredom over drama and hurt feelings.
Yeah, I am an 1980's gamer, in adult form. I just play games when I am bored. These virtual worlds are amazing....
@@SufferousTosh Me too! LOL! I have a full racing rig setup.
@@miker0n327 you play Gran Turismo don’t you
@@SufferousTosh Nah, I play Assetto Corsa, AMS2, and iRacing. But i've heard GT7 is a lot of fun
Im 50 and single. Both my brothers happily married and most of my cousins are all married or in long term relationships. I tend to attract women who are already in relationships or women who are mentally unstable ie. Schizophrenic and bipolar. I just dont really care anymore
I once read that in his whole life, a man will only be unconditionally loved by one woman, and that woman is his mother. I have found this to be accurate.
Probably because she’s coercively controlled him his entire life so that if her husband dies she won’t be left alone. Trust me, it’s a thing.
@@EdelweisSusie and she's guilty for bringing him into a hell realm
If you're lucky.
Sadly,this isn't always true
Thanks from Denmark 🇩🇰 Im 56 and I know exactly what you mean. Im at this point...if it happens it happens If not then I accept that it was not meant to be. I trust in the universe and I choose Love over fear. I wish you the best on your journey..... And I wish that a beautiful, positive and loving woman will find you 🙏
The idea of Mr. or Mrs. 'right' - the idea of a 'soulmate' - the idea that 'there's someone out there for everyone' is simply an *idea* ...it's *not* a reality...we are fed these ideas thru movies and songs and societal conditioning from the time we are old enough to listen and halfway understand...finding true love is not a 'right' for all humans...yes, it does happen for some, but *so much* suffering is caused by believing that we have a *right* to love and to an ideal lifelong partner...humans are not monogamous by nature, despite what religion tries to claim...I am also 52 and have been single for 14 yrs...I have realized the lie and have given up on thinking I will one day find some type of ideal love situation...there is no love without pain and love *always* ends in pain whether it's due to a separation in life or by a separation in death... it hurts less when we just accept the truth that we have been lied to...this is not negative or depressing, it's simply a fact...I wish all of you the best.
Thank you, television was only invented 75 years ago, roughly. Within that time frame we've witnessed theme parks, movies and commercials all telling us that the world is a fairy tale. The night in shining armor facade has broken down and the damsel in distress no longer needs us because she knows how to use sword and shield. From an outside perspective, looking in, this is all really quite amazing if you think about it. No human in history has experienced so much, in such a short amount of time...
Your video really got me thinking because I’ve said so many of the same things to myself. Watching this sparked some soul-searching, and I realized I’ve been automatically avoiding situations where someone could let me down. It’s been a pattern holding me back, and I might not have uncovered it without your video. Thank you for sharing your story-it made a real difference to me.
That's nice to hear I think if we all expose ourselves a little more we will find the truth In our experience. I have a avoidant disposition on most occasions however I disguise it very well. She will never see it, until I am ready to show it, that's about the time I'm ready to leave and then she will begin to withdraw.. as she feels the lack of commitment. In fact I may come on strong to compensate but in the back of my head it's only to hook you.
Firstly I commend you for being brave enough to put this out there - but if you’re looking for someone to mirror you the relationship will be VERY boring, trust me. Ideally you want someone to be spontaneous, to challenge your long-held/staid beliefs and to open your eyes to a world you didn’t know existed ‘til you met her, not someone who agrees with your every word (total snooze-fest). Stop looking for a mate, try new things, go new places and someone will find you.
The only unconditional love a man can ever get is from their Mother, and their dog. That's it.
I need a dog.
You got good hair still that,s a positive.
You are looking for something which does not exist! Look inwards NOT outwards! A woman can never give you what you are "imagining". Good luck
Married at 40, divorced at 50. Stay single, fellas. My life is so much better. I’m now retired, with no debt & with a load of cash in the bank. I spend all of my time just on me. Playing guitar, biking, weightlifting, etc. The peace and quiet in my house is now truly addictive. The best thing my ex ever did for me was to leave me. 😊
I think your expectations are too high. Many people find life partners. Most people do. Some of us just aren’t wired right. I’ve noticed that people who form a successful relationship but lose it to tragedy will invariably find another partner. Those who reach 30 or possibly 40 without having made a single close long lasting connection are destined to be alone. Interpersonal skills need to be learned at a very early age, if they are to be learned at all.
im 63 gave up years ago.
What if you go to Philippine? I heard many men your age found the person who is meant to be with them
Passport Bros? Nah, really this is not a call for Companionship. This is quite the opposite, if you listen to the end of the video. This is a time for self-reflection for both sexes....
I'm definitely with you, brother. I'm the same age as you and actually just got home from a date with a 4th woman in the last 5 days with 3 more to come later this week. All this is doing is making me more frustrated and lighter in the wallet because nothing ever works out. These women have been pursuing me because they are old, lonely, desperate and washed up, not because they genuinely find anything appealing about me. And I have never truly been in love either. I can't believe this is even possible anymore given the unbelievably toxic nature of the overwhelming majority of modern women.
59 and a forever bachelor. My uncle bill took me aside at 18 and warned me to never marry!! Read The Predatory Female in my early 20s and kept dating and studying women.....but never took any of them serious. Here in Puerto Vallarta relaxing, back to Phoenix tomorrow..... awesome week. Best decision of my life was not getting married. Enjoy life brother..... it's soo much fun!! Timmy C Arizona
In spirituality - it’s called the power of Letting Go
Sometimes we need to focus on other areas of our lives , then just live organically see what happens
You are valuable - the day you were born - God decided you were needed in this world
Be open ❤ ( best wishes , female viewer )
Thank you very much and I know this to be true
I'm completely with you, stay strong and realize our world has fallen.
Keeping my fingers crossed, hoping we will figure it out.
I’m 56 and my partner of 16 years just told me he doesn’t love me anymore, I don’t think I will ever trust again and I can’t imagine going through the whole process of getting to know someone and letting someone get to know me again. At my age I feel I’m no longer attractive to men physically, it all feels kinda hopeless tbh.
My Dear, I feel your pain deeply. My heart is heavy knowing your suffering... It's just too painful after spending so many years with one person. The bonds are deep and the memories are forever. You actually spent enough time with each other that you aged together... There is beauty in that. I see a love story and a tragedy. Please allow yourself to grieve this loss... Take time right now for just you. You don't have much time left, go do the thing that you always wanted to do. Expose yourself. no matter what you look like throw yourself out there.... The world will heal you.... I love you. deeply
@@SufferousTosh I’m doing the thing I love, I guess I just never wanted to do it alone. It’s the sort of lifestyle where it’s actually quite difficult to meet people. I think now I am destined to be alone for the rest of my life and the idea that I’ll never have someone to grow old with saddens me. Putting myself out there is not so easy when my emotions are bleeding all over the place and I really don’t have control over that. Nobody wants to be around a wound that won’t heal. There is some peace in solitude though, especially in this particular setting, I do have my animals for company and plenty of projects to focus on.
I can feel the sadness in your words... Can you tell me about the emotions that you "bleeding" all over the place. What are you feeling.. If you don't want to talk about it here.... I could look for a different forum..
@ I believed that we would be together at least for the rest of my life, so there wasn’t a facet of my personality he didn’t get to see. I bared my soul to him, he was my best friend, the person I talked to every single day of my life for 16 years, now he’s “too busy” to talk to me and on the odd occasion he ventures into my world, he is constantly checking his phone and the time and is no longer engaged in any conversation I might have. I feel like half of me is missing and that half doesn’t even think about me. everything we worked towards together has lost its sheen and what once was my dream (our dream) has just become the place where I live and work. When I try to socialize inevitably the conversation finds its way back to this gaping hole I now have inside me and all the feelings of betrayal, grief, unworthiness and a slew of other negative emotions. So, rather than “inflict” myself on others, I spend my time at home caring for my animals, exploring the things I’m interested in and learning new things. I think it’s safe to say I’ve been irreparably damaged by this experience and will most likely spend the rest of my life alone. I can’t imagine ever sharing that much of myself with another person. I feel I could go hiking with my dog in the wilderness and just keep walking. I suppose this is a lot to share here, but hey, maybe there’s someone else out there who feels like this and at least they’d know they’re not alone 😔
Apologies for the delay getting back to you. We need to talk... On the phone, I don't have the strength in my fingers to type all the I have to say.
I am a 55 year old gay man. I am single and have given up on finding the "one" to complete my life. I am resolved to being kind to myself and somehow discovered the peace and comfort of being alone. I spend time with friends, move around the town on weekends, explore places, etc. Loneliness creeps in from time to time and I welcome it as a part of being single. I stay interested in a lot of mental pursuits. I know it can be rough, bro but I hope for all the best for you!
Thank you very much, I appreciate your words. I am very happy to continue on with the exploration of "Enlightened Interdependence", As William S Burroughs put it.
You have to love yourself first
You are living in your own dream image. People are real with with their personality. Don't let life past by. You looking magic.
I'm not choosing to be alone, I simply have no other option. I'm just not good looking enough.
I'm sure you're not that bad to look at. At the end of the day, it's not about looks, it's about the actual person. People need to remember that looks fade and that we all grow old.
That's a real thing, and I understand the feeling. When I was in high school, I had terrible acne, It was all over my face and back it was terrible. The girls would gasp. Oh and I wanted them so bad, but I was disgusting to them. That really did not help my self-esteem. But! I was really good at something, better than the rest that put me out front, even with the acne, the girls started to love me. Look at all the ugly rock stars, they have super models...
Your loved
@@SufferousToshYour money and status are loved…you personally are never loved!
Life is not about validation from someone else. Being alone is a joy not a stigma. Things happen when they are meant to be. It’s that simple.
hear, hear. am 49 and after dating a few i've realized that women are not looking for a man, they are looking for a shoe or a piece of furniture. the best woman i ever met was my ex-wife, but because of stupid stuff we fell apart. after that, all i've met are impossible women who don't know what love is, or what a relationship is.
Until you heal your wounds you will repeat the same cycles and patterns over and over again. It's never too late to build your self worth and your challenge your subconscious limiting beliefs about love. Wishing you the best of luck.
On it.. Thanks, I am now aware of the patterns, and now clear sailing, at least for now.
❤ thank you for brutally reminding me that I have been dedicating to my wife and my family's for the past three decades🎉😂 the biggest tangible reward is that I'm still alive, and I praise the Lord for sparing me
Your Karma is in excellent condition. You are blessed. It's tough out there, a battlefield of broken hearts.
YEA I'M ABOUT 54 AND MARRIED FOR THE LAST 20 SOMETHING YEARS BUT I CAN RELATE TO YOU, AND I CAN SAY THAT THE ROMANTIC LOVE ASPECT DISSAREARS VERY QUICKLY. TO FIND A MATE THAT REFLECTS US IS IMPORTANT AND ALSO YOU NEED TO BE IN LOVE WITH EACH OTHER, AND IT'S VERY HARD TO FIND, MAYBE IT'S VERY RARE LIKE A NEEDLE IN A HAYSTACK..
Im 48 and can hand on heart say im not bothered about being single..i did more than alright on that score as a younger man
Right?... I conquered now let me rest here with my sword and shield.
Thanks for posting, hope you feel better soon... I think everything is overrated, especially friendship.
Crazy days.
I like what your name icon says.... thank you for watching..
Just turned 46 and been eternally single. Everyone I've met has always said "there's someone for everyone". I've come to realize they are right, but the kicker is you may never find that person. After decades of wallowing in depression of being single, I've now given up the search and am more content being alone. But I'm not at the point of loving myself enough to accept someone else loving me, should it happen. I am slowly accepting that there is no shame in being alone. Thank you for saying everything in my head.
No, there is no shame. The only shame is the construct that was created to make you feel guilty about yourself..
I'm 35 year old from LA and every time when I meet women I get ghosted or rejected despite of being good person as I am. I don't pretend someone I'm not but I still get rejected. I feel lonely
My Dear Friend, you are not alone you are with us... Yes it is likely going to be quite some time before you find your mate. Just continue to work on yourself. Once you have achieved a level of equilibrium you will achieve a level of confidence that will be incredibly attractive to women. They melt when they see quiet confidence in men, they become puddles. Take this time to self reflect and become the best version of yourself.
@@SufferousTosh You seems like you have worked on yourself and have confident but how come you still can't find women who loves you for you? I had confident and have worked on myself but the women still rejected me.
@ Take a hard look at your self in the mirror. Be realistic about your expectations. I have never been with a 10. Start at a 3 or 4 see how you do. Don't reach for the top.
@ Another Thing, I am single by choice because I have run the gambit. Dated up and down the levels. I have not found what I am looking for, maybe completely out of reach....? So in the meantime I am going to get better, to an even higher version of myself. Maybe all the way, to not ever needing a mate at all....
@@SufferousTosh I'm not looking for 10 or model like. I'm looking for average or little below average. If working yourself is what attracts women, how come you still can't find women who loves you for you?
Brother you are speaking to the vast vast majority of us Even those who are married know of what you speak--you have a very interesting and insightful way
Thank you much appreciated.
very very few women love there partners if at all. they just use you.
I sometimes wonder to myself if we were ever meant to live under the same roof?
@@brazidas58 I tried to live with one, I really did.
Now, I just get Em for Convenience.
Just turne 62 and I've been happily Single & HAappy since my 3rd and last diovorce back in Oct '11 and I'm looking for love. but let love come find me; not on social media, not on dating apps & sites.
I sympathise with the situation but surely it's not just about receving love. There's pleasure in giving love
If reciprocated.
The last time I was in a relationship was age 53. I am 63 now and quite content being single. I don't see myself ever wanting to have my time revolve around a woman's time.
sex=overrated
relationship=overrated
TRUE connection with someone=underrated
at least in my experience that is.
Single at 60 and agreed 100%
Honestly, it hurts to hear this and the many comments of the many men that choose to lead a single life. And it makes me that much more thankful that I have been in a great relationship with a great woman for almost twenty years. I certainly don’t blame them for staying single though. The feminist movement has a large percentage of these women that have been disillusioned into thinking they are perfect 10’s and, like men, are far from it. God forbid my relationship ends, I’m sure I would stay as far away from the dating scene as I can.
I lost the love of my life of 19 years. He was taken too soon! We were a team. Ups and downs, lots of laughs. Single on n off for 13 years, now. I've tried to date after the loss, but it's soooo disappointing, being used, treated badly, over the drama and the behaviours. I'm now 56 single, totally deflated. I'm in love with my Ducati haha, I go get life now and am having fun.
Right?! I am sorry for your loss, but way to get yourself up and out. Life is very short, and I know this very well. Go do that thing you wanted to do, tomorrow may not come.
That "Love of my life" shit is nonsense. People fall into this trap of getting too deep with the "energy" "seeing me". For most people you just gotta find someone who will put up with your down days and your specific form of crazy. I can put up with a few flaws if i can tell the other person cares about me and is loyal. People waste their entire lives looking for perfection
I really don't have high expectations. I date up and down the spectrum of women. I think the higher you go up in "value" the more crazy you get. The women at the lower end of the "value" spectrum are, from experience, the friendliest to men....
@@SufferousTosh Stay in your lane