"I'm not saying you commit crime if you have a prepaid phone BUT everybody who commits crime has a prepaid phone" This is the most factual statement I've heard in quite a while. I ain't even laugh. Just squinted my eyes and stroked my chin.
I felt attacked because I've never committed a crime but I keep a prepaid phone because I dont have a lot of money and I dont want debt incase I have other more important things to spend my money on that month. In this time in the world u can have a phone and connect to the Wi-Fi at places and get things done even if you don't have a bought plan.
@@atrophyqueen6168 ... Are you being serious? Its a joke bruh, it's a general factual statement. If you don't do crime then why feel attacked. Lighten up ☺️
The very best comics (at least for me) time the joke so that it's halfway past before you "catch" it. That way you're already halfway into the normal part before the silly hits you, and it makes it so much funnier. This guy does that *sooo well!* You a funny dude, Mr Williams! Thanks for the giggles!
That Twister joke was so under-appreciated. It was such an iconic 90s scene. Jo: :[cow flies by in the storm] Cow. Melissa: [On the phone] I gotta go Julia, we got cows. Jo: 'Nother cow. Bill: Actually I think that was the same one.
The Filet-o-Fish is a near perfect sandwich. There's a McD's across from the laundromat so once a month I get one and it's the only thing I eat from there. There, I said it. I don't care if it's made of doll hair and vaseline, it's delicious.
I like how you describe it as being made of doll hair and plastic, but also as a "near perfect sandwich" Whats perfect? Add a bay leaf or some lemongrass? Swap out doll hairs for pubes? Chocolate icing? I NEED TO KNOW
Not the funniest dude, but he had a lot of energy on stage. Lots of Good energy! And many comedians lack that nowadays. That energy is a (very) necessary ingredient. Especially when working the crowd. Gotta have that positive vibe. And this dude got it!
This sounds like my girl trying to give me feedback on the sex without hurting my feelings. "Its not... like im used to... but you're super enthusiastic - and thats a good thing! And hey... its not like we _have_ to have amazing sex all the time... **screams internally** "
YOU have Got it Kortney. No sacred cows with you brother. You are one of the funniest stand ups hands down. You prove that profanity is not necessary for hilarity.
I feel so old!!! I can definitely remember Morgan Freeman as a young man. He was on the Electric Company Show, and was very handsome. Made it a little easier for mothers to sit through the proceedings while their kids watched.
Because the ad needed narration, and its legally required that Morgan Freeman look over the narration first, and if he passes on the narration, there will 6 weeks of other actors narrating until Freeman comes back.
I've Googled baby Morgan Freeman after he says Google baby Morgan Freeman... The comedian wasnt lying about not seeing any baby pictures of him. Theirs old face pics of Morgan Freeman, paste on the face of a baby. 😂😂😂
Nope. They need to keep the 6ft spacing rule between customers because of Covid and they did not know where to hide all of the extra chairs they thinned out.
nawman. It would take a lot more than that to rattle Morgan Freeman. He's just be cool as cucumbers like "Now really. Are you going to believe that guy? or *me*?
No one: I watch Dry Bar for news and information. UA-cam: We need to explain to people watching a comedy act that the Illuminati is a conspiracy theory.
I honestly looked it up, I saw one picture of an actual baby, but nothing to prove it was ACTUALLY Morgan Freeman. Every other picture was old-baby Morgan Freeman
Kinda true, he's been old for as long as I've been alive too lol. The youngest I'd seen Morgan Freeman was in _Lean_ _On_ _Me_ and that was released the year I was born (in '89)
I was looking through the comments to see if I was the only one thinking it. He emulated his vocal inflections and some of the words, phrase patterning in combination. I mean, that's not the kind of thing that's randomly landing in the few people who do "Stand Up". That took WORK! And then the "Killing Them Softly" comedy special material... come on! (He should have known to break it up more... Undermining the audience intelligence is how he got busted... Is he running to be a senator or something?! He's black, he's lucky i'm seeing it as another black man. And he's luck you're seeing it.... Even Dave would cut him a break. But DON'T let whoever produced "Killing them Softly" see it... they'll sue his black butt to pay money through the time the rest of us get restitution payments, forty acres, AND our mule.) He talked about "Judging me, right to my face", just like when Chappelle was talking about "Oscar the Grouch": "They judge him right in his face, the entire show." He talked about taking thing too seriously Driving through a neighborhood (with a different narrative). Wreckless Driving Police pullovers BUT! BUT!!! He threw a few curve balls with some Richard Pryor & Eddie Murphy speech stylings as well. I only watched it once. So, i'm sure that there's more. But, someone else is going to have to take the next shift.
![Lp. Сердце Вселенной #60 РОЖДЕНИЕ ЛОЛОЛОШКИ [Финал] • Майнкрафт](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/YoR0pAV9FVQ/mqdefault.jpg)
"Well MY kids know how to dodge a car." I busted up laughing in the middle of work! Best line I've heard all day.
😳if you don’t get back to work...😏
You were listening to this in the middle of work?
Tut tut.
I was hooked at the Morgan Freeman lines. This cat was funny, him and his free dog!
This is definitely one of the better comedians y'all have uploaded. Get him on again!
To skip ads: On your cellphone, as soon as the video starts, skip to the end of the video, then refresh!! Boom! No ads 👍🏾
On PC/Mac use ad block
Lifehack#1 lol
Doesn't work.
Worked for me
Thank you. How do you refresh?
Whenever I see those “Drive like your kids live here” signs, I want to put up a sign that says “Parent like people drive here”.
Zachary Wissinger Parent like you’re gonna see this child at the grocery store every trip.
Exactly.
Lol that sign is a double edge sword.
Some parents want to run their kids over 🤣
@J Idowu back when growing up and living implied everything required to not be a Darwin award winner
None of you make sense
Anyone else mesmerized by the wall of chairs? It's creeping me out, haha!
Yes it's very disconcerting. Why are they on the wall.
It creepy
I guess if the place gets crowded then they can always just pluck a chair down
I wonder can you seat people there as some special seats priced tickets.
Alexey Saranchev hahahahaha 🤣 🤣
"I'm not saying you commit crime if you have a prepaid phone BUT everybody who commits crime has a prepaid phone"
This is the most factual statement I've heard in quite a while. I ain't even laugh.
Just squinted my eyes and stroked my chin.
I felt attacked because I've never committed a crime but I keep a prepaid phone because I dont have a lot of money and I dont want debt incase I have other more important things to spend my money on that month. In this time in the world u can have a phone and connect to the Wi-Fi at places and get things done even if you don't have a bought plan.
@@atrophyqueen6168 ..dont feel attacked its an opinion. Honestly I think prepaid phones are the best way to go to save money.
Lol. I'm not a criminal. I just don't like phone or internet contracts.
@@atrophyqueen6168 ... Are you being serious? Its a joke bruh, it's a general factual statement. If you don't do crime then why feel attacked. Lighten up ☺️
I was joking. No one was talking directly to or about me. I should have made sound more light hearted.
Hey the baby tried to nurse me. This is a me too situation. Hilarious I'm rolling 🤣🤣🤣
My dude, you can't be a proper conspiracy theorist *without* a prepaid phone!
And a shortcut on your desktop titled "TRUTHNOTES.docx"
Thanks for the new joke tag. That is officially in my act.
@@KortneyShane 😃
😂😂😂😂
Love him though.
The very best comics (at least for me) time the joke so that it's halfway past before you "catch" it. That way you're already halfway into the normal part before the silly hits you, and it makes it so much funnier. This guy does that *sooo well!* You a funny dude, Mr Williams! Thanks for the giggles!
That Twister joke was so under-appreciated. It was such an iconic 90s scene.
Jo: :[cow flies by in the storm] Cow.
Melissa: [On the phone] I gotta go Julia, we got cows.
Jo: 'Nother cow.
Bill: Actually I think that was the same one.
It really was! Guess the audience is on average too young
That's a good 🎥
I did search "baby Morgan Freeman" and boy why did I not do it before. What am I doing searching other things. I am in. I am a follower now.
This dude is one of the funniest on DryBar in a good while
This guy is actually funny...Kortney Williams. I'll be looking forward to seeing more of him. His timing is perfect. Great punchlines. Smart man.
OMGosh, Dude, you are hilarious! Thank you. I REALLY needed that!
Hilarious...Morgan Freeman...I was really falling for that joke when I realized my grandmother in law was friends with him in high school. 😂🤣😭
So, where's the yearbook pic?! Come on, Kortney NEEDS to see that pic!
No
@@yes._.3748 you are a study in contrasts. I would refrain from public appearances.
@@j.t.harrison3203 what 😂
Pictures or it didn't happen 🙃
The Filet-o-Fish is a near perfect sandwich. There's a McD's across from the laundromat so once a month I get one and it's the only thing I eat from there. There, I said it. I don't care if it's made of doll hair and vaseline, it's delicious.
I like how you describe it as being made of doll hair and plastic, but also as a "near perfect sandwich"
Whats perfect? Add a bay leaf or some lemongrass? Swap out doll hairs for pubes? Chocolate icing? I NEED TO KNOW
@@swine13
This is Murica, just be creative & don't sweat it.
@LesActive I love the Filet-o-Fish too🙈🙌 its sooo good, I always get it with extra cheese hahaha
*"I don't care if it's made of doll hair and vaseline, it's delicious."*
Oh no, hahahaha!
The best fish sandwich EVER!!!
I’m suspicious all the time too and have no motivation to find out why. LOL
Rimaz Kintibay you literally described my whole life lmao
Too much weed and horror movies.
This guys voice sounds like Kermit the Frog at different points
My boy Patrick Mahomes sounds like Kermit the Frog
Fat Albert...hey hey hey
LOL!
Totally
@@murphdog9506😢😢😢😢
Absolutely hilarious. This guy is great.
Great expression, pacing, writing!
0
I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THIS MAN!!
This man kinda delivers like Dave Chapelle. I love it.
That's the exact the same thing I was thinking!!!!!!!!!!
Wooorrrd!!!
That's his teacher
He really does though
Yeah I was thinking the same thing. Seems like he is kinda copying Chapelle. Just not as good, not bad, but not as good.
The real reason we don't see any baby pictures of Morgan Freeman is because he's really Jimi Hendrix in disguise.
🤯
Yes!
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
L.O.L. I thought that before. G.
Mind. Blown.
My grandmother LOVES Klondike bars!
I Love this guy's sense of humor! LOL 😅😄😃🤣😂😆😅😃😆🤣
Best dark humor ever! I love it!
Morgan Freeman has been an old man his entire life
Yea, that's what he said.
@@ChangoPalomino I think the commenter meant Morgan's life
Morgan Freeman was born old🤔🤔lol🤣😂
That is probably true - dude looks young.
@@sebastiansantana2447 you get me
That was the funniest comedian that I've never heard of! This man is going places
"Well my kids know how to dodge a car"!!!!!
Waaat😂😂😂😂😂😂
You are hilarious man, thank you.
Not the funniest dude, but he had a lot of energy on stage. Lots of Good energy! And many comedians lack that nowadays. That energy is a (very) necessary ingredient. Especially when working the crowd. Gotta have that positive vibe. And this dude got it!
This sounds like my girl trying to give me feedback on the sex without hurting my feelings.
"Its not... like im used to... but you're super enthusiastic - and thats a good thing! And hey... its not like we _have_ to have amazing sex all the time... **screams internally** "
He sounds like Luis Armstrong and Kermit the frog somehow made a baby.
"I see trees of green..." 😄
😂😂😂😂. Whhhyyyyyy?!? So accurately hilarious!
I thought it was just me 🤣🤣
With a healthy spoonful of Dave Chappelle
@@Survivinginthesuburbs Yes I def caught some Chapelle vibes too. I was wondering if anyone else thought so too.
Man you are too funny 😂, the whole video cracked me up dude you are a trip 😂😂
First time seeing this guy....
He's fn hilarious!
Looking forward to hearing more from him!!
I’ve got the same theory about Tyler Perry and the prepaid phones. 🤣
👀👀👀👀 😂😂😂💀💀💀💀
"me n my free dog r walkin through the rally"
that one got me, right in the feels
Good, complicated, and lots of internal references. AKA, Fun.
He's so funny. Loving him 🥰
This is the funniest comedian I've seen in a long time. He needs to get out there!!
Is it just me, or can anyone else hear the Chappelle influence. Anyways, this was a great set.
Oh yeah.
Same
100% I was thinking the same
Definitely.
Dmitri Villanueva I hear Hannibal Burgess
YOU have Got it Kortney. No sacred cows with you brother. You are one of the funniest stand ups hands down. You prove that profanity is not necessary for hilarity.
It's like he's just rambling and it just so happens to be humorous.
Sharp, he has a good thing going. Being sharp AND funny,...he'll be a headliner soon enough.
Thanks 🙏🏿
Brings “time out” to a whole new level. The chairs.
LOL! Good one. As for Morgan Freeman, I think he will live to be 170 years old at least.
i searched baby Morgan Freeman, found a video called, Morgan Freeman doesn't remember being a baby
🤣
Do you remember being a baby? I don't 🤔.. Neither do I have baby photos...oh my, I am a Morgan Freeman 😂😂🤣
This guy is brilliant lmfao. Me and this free dog
Love this dude! Especially bike routine!!!
This guy seems like a mix of Dave Chappelle and Kenan Thompson. :P
Great show. The farmers market was LOL classic.
Hilarious, love his show!
I feel so old!!! I can definitely remember Morgan Freeman as a young man. He was on the Electric Company Show, and was very handsome. Made it a little easier for mothers to sit through the proceedings while their kids watched.
"the anger of a thousand black single mothers" lmao
Morgan freeman hasn’t been old all my life, I remember easy reader from the electric company.
I do love it when a good fact comes by and kills a joke stone dead. 👌
Tell me why the first ad was of Morgan Freeman talking about Census.
They know who you are & that you haven't filled out your census,so they sent the illuminati to remind you.
Because the ad needed narration, and its legally required that Morgan Freeman look over the narration first, and if he passes on the narration, there will 6 weeks of other actors narrating until Freeman comes back.
Lmao their WATCHING, LOL
@@mailyfe9953 *they're
He wants to let us know he's watching...
Looked at the dog and said, "That coulda' been you!"
He's right. Just Googled it. Can't find it.
Found one.
@@alterrihenri110 Where?!
I've Googled baby Morgan Freeman after he says Google baby Morgan Freeman... The comedian wasnt lying about not seeing any baby pictures of him. Theirs old face pics of Morgan Freeman, paste on the face of a baby. 😂😂😂
you got me at "Morgan Freeman zipping down to reveal Benjamin Button"
Well I guess I'm off to google baby Morgan Freeman now..
He is right 😂
...said No one...
@@DianaHerberg 🤣🤣
So what did you find?
It's true
Those chairs hanging up on the back wall must be in honor of the graduating class of 2020 🤔
FUNNY!!
This was made in 2018 I think he says it
Nope. They need to keep the 6ft spacing rule between customers because of Covid and they did not know where to hide all of the extra chairs they thinned out.
I think being a dad IS the most dope thing you've ever done. Great set😀
This guy needs a netflix special
I can see him becoming like Cosby, well without the crime part.
Fingers crossed the biggest crime in his life is a speeding ticket
I sinceriously hope he has Cosby level success without any of the Foolishness
Nothing to do with the video, but Everytime I read "Illuminati" the minions come to my mind saying "eeluminayshawnnn" 😂😂😂
Thanks to you I'm gonna be hearing that now...😏
Morgan Freeman: “Oh no, they’re on to me!”
nawman. It would take a lot more than that to rattle Morgan Freeman. He's just be cool as cucumbers like "Now really. Are you going to believe that guy? or *me*?
He's funny with a professional delivery.
One of the best I’ve seen great job
I love that he still took the dog even if he wasnt into it 😂😂
No one: I watch Dry Bar for news and information.
UA-cam: We need to explain to people watching a comedy act that the Illuminati is a conspiracy theory.
I honestly looked it up, I saw one picture of an actual baby, but nothing to prove it was ACTUALLY Morgan Freeman. Every other picture was old-baby Morgan Freeman
Did you also find the pictures of jimmy hendrix ;)
"I'll have my people contact your people" Oh my god I died 😂
This guy's voice sounds like a combination between Seth Rogan and Bill Cosby
This guy is spectacular!!🤣🤣
Funny. Had a good laugh.
I feel like I could hang out with this guy 👍 👍 👍
Kinda true, he's been old for as long as I've been alive too lol. The youngest I'd seen Morgan Freeman was in _Lean_ _On_ _Me_ and that was released the year I was born (in '89)
Hilarious! Loved it!
the Netflix bit, lmao, nail'd it
Great job Kortney!!!
I googled baby morgan freeman and was not disappointed! 🤣
Ok, it’s on! 😉👍
Thank you!
"My kids know how to dodge a car..." @17:40
you are soo funny! Thank you for the many laughs!
This guy is hilarious!
I loved the swedish fish joke 😆
Psssst...!!
Morgan Freeman lives part time in Orange Beach, Alabama.
Tell no one.
I'm a "conspiracy theorist" but I need some new "conspiracies'" because all mine have COME TRUE!!!
It's like watching Tracy Morgan sober
This guy is hilarious! 👏👏👏
There’s really only pictures of Morgan Freeman as a child no baby pictures. Apparently he doesn’t remember being a baby 😂
"All items must go." LOL!!!
If he's not from DC, he's made an interesting choice to do a Dave Chappelle impression.
A knock off Dave Chappelle
I was looking through the comments to see if I was the only one thinking it.
He emulated his vocal inflections and some of the words, phrase patterning in combination. I mean, that's not the kind of thing that's randomly landing in the few people who do "Stand Up". That took WORK!
And then the "Killing Them Softly" comedy special material... come on!
(He should have known to break it up more... Undermining the audience intelligence is how he got busted... Is he running to be a senator or something?!
He's black, he's lucky i'm seeing it as another black man. And he's luck you're seeing it.... Even Dave would cut him a break. But DON'T let whoever produced "Killing them Softly" see it... they'll sue his black butt to pay money through the time the rest of us get restitution payments, forty acres, AND our mule.)
He talked about "Judging me, right to my face", just like when Chappelle was talking about "Oscar the Grouch": "They judge him right in his face, the entire show."
He talked about taking thing too seriously
Driving through a neighborhood (with a different narrative).
Wreckless Driving
Police pullovers
BUT!
BUT!!!
He threw a few curve balls with some Richard Pryor & Eddie Murphy speech stylings as well. I only watched it once. So, i'm sure that there's more. But, someone else is going to have to take the next shift.
Flavor Flav 2020! YEAH BOYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!
Let's make this happen!
I've gone to McDonalds for Fish LMAO, they are actually rated #2 in fast food for best fish sandwhich hahaha
Who is #1?
@@bobbierobinson6269 Popeyes
@@karynsmith7655 I've got to try it. I know their chicken sandwich is great
Rated by who is the question? Bill gates?
You are sitting on 500k+ views so you're doing pretty good
Even my great great great great grandchildren will be watching Morgan Freeman starring in brand new movies.
"PawPaw/MeMaw, have you ever seen him as a baby?"
"No. Legend says that he's always been here..."
I love this guy he's hillarioud
That's a funny fella, I like this guy alot... He matters
I was gone in under 2 minutes (just the fact that I hit the Comments tells you how bored I was).