10 Signs You Had Toxic Parents
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- Опубліковано 26 чер 2024
- Toxic parenting can come in many forms and shapes. Have you been a constant victim of narcissistic abuse by your caregiver or parents? You might have a narcissistic mother or a narcissistic father? Someone with narcissistic personality traits include overinflated sense of self-importance, constant thoughts about being more successful, power, smart, loved or attractive to others, feelings of superiority, need for excessive admiration, etc Perhaps, you see these traits in your toxic parents?
Disclaimer: Of course, this video is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice, but general guidance.
Are your parents toxic, but the signs are too subtle to recognize? We made a video on that too: • 7 Subtle Signs of Toxi...
Writer: Syazwana Amirah
Script Editor: Vanessa Tao & Dawn Tan
Script Manager: Kelly Soong
Voice: @amandasilvera
Animator: Aury
( / _amenation_ )
UA-cam Manager: Cindy Cheong
References:
American Psychiatric Association. (2013). Personality Disorders. Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition. Washington, DC. American Psychiatric Publishing, Inc.
Arabi, S. (2019, April 20). 5 Manipulation Tactics Narcissistic Parents Use To Control Their Adult Children. Psych Central. psychcentral.com/blog/recovering-narcissist/2019/04/5-manipulation-tactics-narcissistic-parents-use-to-control-their-adult-children#9.
Burkley, M. (2020, November 23). Is Your Mother a Narcissist? Psychology Today. www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/the-social-thinker/202011/is-your-mother-narcissist.
Dellner, A. (2021, January 20). 12 Signs You May Have Been Raised by a Narcissist. PureWow. www.purewow.com/family/signs-you-were-raised-by-a-narcissist.
Greenberg, E. (2017, May 28). How a Child Can Become a Narcissist. Psychology Today. www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/understanding-narcissism/201705/how-child-can-become-narcissist.
Ni, P. (2016, February 28). 10 Signs of a Narcissistic Parent. Psychology Today. www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/communication-success/201602/10-signs-narcissistic-parent.
Have you met anybody with narcissism?
somewhat
Can you do a video about Aphasia?
frist!!
yes
Yeah...
Imagine thinking narcissism is normal when you're growing up only to discover it's not how everybody's parents treat their children.
Yeah i was constantly thinking about how others think.how they fell.are they the same like me.or i am really different from others.
It's normal for me because I've never been shown much love
That's why nobody liked me. I would always complain about the little things like not having a phone (like all kids do) so they all thought I was a spoiled brat with a perfect life. They even told me to be grateful for what I have! They had NO idea I wad living in a rat infested trailer with no running water and a leaking septic tank and a drug addicted mom
I wiah my dad was as fun or awesome as other parents I'm almost 25 and still can't let go of the issues I have with him due to this I wanna let it go but it always shows in ways I don't realize
for me its so normal,everything else is super weird to me
I have no words to describe the relief it brought me to recognize, as part of her narcissism, my abusive mother never loved me. Any "good times" only served her benefit/image. Some people are devastated to learn that, but for me it was validation that my gut instinct during childhood was correct the entire time
Sorry to hear that man, I hope your day is going great 👍.
I don't know how to deal with my mom at all she is being toxic and make feel so low of myself, a part of me can't believe I actually have toxic parents but that's the truth.
@@samina1983 I would suggest checking out Dr. Ramini here on UA-cam she really helps put things into perspective
I'm totally hearing you here!!! ♥️🙏🇦🇺
@@samina1983 yeah same goen to my dad.but he also prays deth for me.
After being gaslighted my entire life It gives me a little peace knowing that my feelings are valid. I’m sorry so many people can relate as much as I do. I hope you continue to heal past these traumas ❤️
I feel you. Was gaslighted from young and even till now at the age of 25. The past events I brought up would always be questioned like it didnt happen or telling me that my memories are wrong. It left a dent in my psychological state that I'm still trying to recover. I needed guidance but all I ever got was them telling me my thinking was wrong to the point I questioned myself and couldnt even trust my own decisions. They only started to treat me better when I started doing better in school but that was short. I'm not entirely blaming them for the fallings in my life, because I own my decisions. But the hurdle to overcome the mentality set from young is tough. Hope everyone experiencing this will heal from whatever traumas they currently have or in the past.
Gaslighting is the worst. Good for you, 👍
thank you! It is sooo important to realize your feelings are valid, always, but so hard to grasp if you've dealt with gaslighting. Full respect to you, I'm still trying! :)
You matter! Your opinion might not matter to others, but the good thing is theirs don't have to matter to you either! Believe the people who give you constructive criticism and lift you up and want you to heal, anyone who says you were better when you were easy to control, obedient and quiet liked the version of you they could control and didn't care for your happiness
My mom was mentally unstable and was a narcissistic parent for sure (I think she may have had borderline personality) but yes she would gas light me and my sister and even blame one of us for something she knew she did. If she did anything wrong if was someone else's fault or she would find some way to scapegoat one of us.
1. your parents live through you 0:47
2. your parents' love is conditional 1:14
3. your parents feel they are superior to others 1:50
4. your parents are dismissive and unwilling to identify with your feelings and those of others 2:29
5. your parents compare you to your siblings, friends, and the kids of their friends 2:58
6. your parents become furious when something doesn't go their way, no matter how small 3:19
7. your parents guilt trip you with fear, obligation, and guilt 3:49
8. you struggle with healty boundaries because there were none growing up 4:13
9. your accomplishments are never your own doing 4:52
10. you become codependent 5:38
I hope I could help!
That was helpful
yahhh
Time traveler
BRO HOW IS THIS 3 WEEKS AGO, this vid was just posted a minute ago????
All 10
You know what's amazing? When you finally found your worth and avoid dealing with your toxic and narcissistic parents, they suddenly label you as a bad and rude person for not bowing down to them anymore.
I had a talk with my mother about a year ago before I cut contact with her in last October. Told her that everything I accomplished was mostly due to my stubbornness and hard work and my character. I said this because I was proud of who I am today. She told me I should be thankful to her because I turned out the way I did because she wasn't there for me like she was for the other kids. I was flabbergasted, she wanted me to be thankful to her for not being there because that absence made me the person I am today. Even when I cut ties, she still tried to contact me and told me that everything is my fault. It's so toxic. There are so many more stories about my childhood. For example, my teacher in 5th grade looked mortified when I told her "my momma told me that my grades, career and health doesn't matter. The family's well-being stands above all" when she talked with me about my grades and my absence in class.
So sorry for you, I hope you can heal. Find what you love in life and never let anyone change it for you, you deserve the freedom
@@istvantoth3775 thank you for the kind words. I am happily married and I have great friends who try hard to cheer me up and giving me strength, so I'm slowly healing.
Dude at least your mother was not there for you. I wish my mom died when i was a kid. I was psychotic from age 16 to 20 because of her abuse
Now im 20 with no friends . Education or memories
@@srimathiesenarathne5024 I'm sorry to hear that. Hope you're also slowly healing.
My mother is definitely a narcissist... that's why we really don't get along... her children are not allowed to have a life on their own... because she thinks we owe her for bringing us to the world... sick right.. another thing is my siblings are narcissistic as well.. my sister who I'm very close with well not as much.. I can't even go to her and tell her if I met somebody nice in my life... she shut me out and want to talk about her life and what's going on in her relationship... it's sad that I can't even talk my own sister because I can't go to my mother to even ask for advice. But the women in my family are jealous of their own daughters... my niece can't even go to her mom..she comes to me for advice.. and my sister have the audacity to get mad or jealous.. but you did this.. you making hard for your daughter to come to you.. it's sad
Know you are not alone…
You don't have to go to them.you have your own life.i know how your feeling as my dad is also a narcissist.you have to be strong and try to leave them as soon as possible.
This is my mom too so often. If I need to talk about something important going on in my life (or god forbid EMOTIONS!!) she instantly starts talking about her own issues/emotions , how she is struggling and sad. She's dismissive and co-dependent in many ways. So sad , she doesn't need to be like that as I love her unconditionally.
I hope one day that niece can get away, because her life will be ruined growing up if not. That is from my experience. And you don't owe that person anything, you never asked to be brought into this world, THEY wanted you to be brought in, so they owe you the life of respect and being treated fairly.
I feel you.
This stings so much. But I do have to admit, it's nice to know that I wasn't the insane one, just the crazy one. Narcissists don't change, because they're already perfect, according to them. We others know differently, of course.
My heart goes out to anyone who can relate to these points in their own family. I'm so sorry you didn't have the parents you deserve. Neither did I, but I won't let it stop me from trying to live my best life and I ask you do the same. Know that it is possible and you are loved. 💜
Thank you
@@dellyroses6576 you're welcome, hun. I just want to let you know I see you and know you exist. Ive felt your pain and you're never alone. Wishing you health and happiness. 💜
The tiptoeing on eggshells was relatable to a tee. I constantly had to hide from my parents my internet relationships and interests. And when they find out I so much as write a comment on an internet video, or "talk to people on the internet", they shut me down, forced me to delete my old social media profiles (I did none of that), and then my father proceeded to cut off my internet on my personal laptop while my mother forced me to watch horrible videos about kidnappings via social media stalkers.
As someone who grew up with narcissistic parents and with ADHD/mild Autism, I never understood why my parents sheltered me as hard as they did. I always felt misunderstood, trapped, and secluded from the world. I still defended my parents because I blamed their own horrible upbringings. I shut my own feelings down, and even fell into depression because of them. All while never knowing the reason why. And now I do. I'm already thinking about going to counseling with my fiance. Thank you Psych2Go for explaining my parents better.
I feel similarly. It is not a good idea to completely shelter a kid from the internet. It only makes you feel disconnected. I do think it is important to discuss the risks of internet problems as well. It is a balance most parents don't care about. it is either "internet is bad" or "nothing of harm can come from the internet" when neither is true.
My dad was very paranoid of everything. I can relate to you.
@@zadock6370 I completely agree with you. Trust me: if I ever have kids when I get married, the first thing I'm going to do is teach them that the internet can be fun as long as there's proper safety involved.
I do not want to end up like my parents, and completely shelter them from the world. The reality is the world will find its way into your life, whether you want it to or not. It's a parent's job to teach their children how to adapt to that world safely and effectively. If you can't accept change yourself, though, how can you hope that your children will?
@@LairoftheManiacs exactly. the world can be a dangerous place, but it can also be a wonderful place as well.
Timestamps if you guys are in a rush
Welp thanks for that timestamp
I never realized that my mom is actually narcissictic
That explains my childhood 💀
Only 8/10, let's goooo
I relate to all of these but I'm not going to therapy. I've been going ever since I was 8 years old and quitting was the best decision I've ever made because it didnt do shit except for suck money out of my already broke mom's wallet. Plus I would always argue with them and they never helped me. I even asked for advice and they just acted like they didn't care
@@butterfliege6545 you ??
@@ivythealiencat hold on there . don't follow there steps.you have your own opinion.they are the one who is wrong.we need to get in our steps fast.and don't listen to them if they say no to you.and don't tell them to show you a therapist they will use you.there are some wabsites for tharapist.you can go there and talk to them if you really want to.i know we can get away from it soon.
I just had my first counseling with psychologist yesterday to talk about my relationship with my parents. From there I've leant that we can't control how our parents actions toward us, but we can control ours. Which I found very make sense and useful are: forgive your parents and promise yourself to not become like them in the future, do not create any expectations, keep some distance when needed, move on with your own life if you are an adult and get yourself busy with your own things. Guess a 30 y.o. me now can do all of those as I live by my own far away from them.
A therapist that actually cared and somehow actually helps!?!?!?!????!!!!!!?????? No way I'm not believing that
@@ivythealiencat why? Do you have a bad experience with a therapist?
@@TrisaPradnja I've been going ever since I was 8 and they never helped me. All they did was waste my mom's money and cause her to go broke
@@ivythealiencat wow, i am sorry to hear that. I just use the help application used in my country which has a list of professional therapists to choose. And luckily I got a good one for me. Hope you can find a good one too someday and get the help you need
@@TrisaPradnja yeah maybe
i always fail to understand how every parent *isn't* like this, as it was always how my parents were towards me. I understand how wrong it is, and i have been very negatively affected by my parents actions, but it still makes me think everytime someone tells me this is not how parents should act
It's ok you are not alone.i can understand that feelings of getting anxiety thinking about it. Try to be careful from now .and your opinion does matter.💖
Especially if you yourself exhibit some traits like caring about yourself more over your family, then your parent would act as "Oh you don't care about anybody anymore then, huh?" or "Why am i the only person who does anything?" and you can't really help it when the sole reason you're like this is because of the tones and treatment they put you under.
That's because it was your normal and if your abuser was anything like mine, they kept you away from anyone who they thought was helpful or positive and would help you develop your own independence and identity by demonizing that person. It's not you or your fault somehow and again, I'm case you need to hear it, it wasn't normal and you didn't do anything to deserve it. It's their unhealed trauma or issues they put on you. Keep fighting
Exactly that! It's so weird. I still find myself "surprised" every time someone tells me that unconditional love exists. I mean, I'm relatively sure that I don't stop loving someone just because they're doing something that I don't appreciate. But somehow I don't expect this from anyone else. I expect people to be/act like my parents.
My parents are like this, but before even aknowleging this fact, I was being suffocated by them. They wouldn't let me have my independence (wheter it was about which friends I wanted to hang out with, money, personal space, emotions and thoughts). But this wasn't right to me and I fought for my freedom. They often yelled at me, they gaslighted me the worst ways, but I ignored them, I cut them out of my life. I went out by my self, stopped telling what time I was coming back or who I was hanging out with (which can seem pretty normal but for me it had never been possible before). It was real war, made of my father treathening me to "very bad consequencense" and my mother crying to try make me feel guilty. And now, after a year of all of that, it's getting a bit better. I've endured though all of this, thanks to a terapist (which I payed by my self) and a couple of good friends that were always ready to tell me I am not the problem, I am not a burden, and my feelings are worthfull.
I'm glad you had the courage I never had. They always told me how bad and dangerous the world was and that kept me from ever going out on my own. I really wish I would have been like you, it would have saved my life from all this misery.
This is so impressive. Well done! I had a narcissistic mother. What you are doing is so hard. Keep fighting for yourself.
@@juliawilliams8926 thank you
Whoa..You’re so brave & strong. I’m 25 & still have to ask permission to go out, tell them who I’m going out with & what time I’m coming home. I’ve tried to break the rules several times but always come back to square one. They even judge my friends!
@@kamirtaropi7760 they will always judge, and go against you with all they have, cause they want to be in control. But this is your life. Try not to listen, don't give their words weight. You are more than they always told you. And as long as YOU know that, they can't "touch" you. They have no power over you
My dad is a narcissist. He feels entitled to my achievements but never helped to gain them.
God same .... He's always so competitive and feels jealous when I achieve something . Always tries to hold me back by making me feel small that he raised me and spent money on me ....
All his talks revolve around money ....
Makes me sick 🤢...
Me too 😭
As much as I miss her, I believe my late grandmother was a narcissist. She upheld a certain image in front of her church friends before her exposing her dark side behind closed doors. My mother was affected by this and sometimes she would exhibit these traits. I believe she has evolved a great deal over the years. Thank God. 🙏🏾
This behaviour/disorder actually harmed me. I've been emotionally abused throughout my life that I wanted to end my life. When I seek for financial support regarding my mental health treatment and therapy, they say I'm just lazy which is why I wanted to end my life. I never felt so lonely. I don't exactly have friends and that pushed me to adapt to loneliness. I'm scared my suicidal thoughts will consume me and I won't have any will power to stop myself.
Praying Jesus will reveal himself to you as a good friend.
I used to think that my parents were like this. I used to get into fights with them all the time about the stupidest things. But each of them has only one of the traits from this video. my dad has anger issues (but he walks away when he gets like that so he won't hurt anyone), and my mom tells me many of the accomplishments I've had were because of her making me do them (however in many cases she is right about that). But now as an adult I am finally starting to be able to talk to them on an equal ground. The more I get to know them the more I realize that while both of them have flaws and have made mistakes they have always had mine and my siblings best interests in their hearts. Watching this video only confirms that that. So thank you for making this!
My heart began to race as many of these subjects struck a chord with me, I would like to see a video about how to heal from narcisstic parenting 💞
What this video calls co-dependency is actually parentification. Usually co-dependency suggests a positive aspect or outcome of the relationship incentivizes both people to stay in an unhealthy enmeshed bond. When a parent's emotional stability depends on the actions of a child, the parent-child roles get reversed - the child becomes "parentified"
This one hit close to home as me and my family left my narcissistic father a few years back. I remember him often tell me and my siblings that we were not allowed to talk to people outside our family about the problems happening within our family. I think this may be part of the reason why I get uncomfortable telling people what's going on with my family and my own personal problems.
The nparent I have is stupid and paranoid. She's a crazy bitch. I used to feel uncomfortable taking about my problems to people outside but now I don't really care. At the end of the day, she's the one who is at fault. Obviously I don't confide in everyone but to those I do, I find comfort and release from all the shit I have to deal with as a result of nparent.
Below are timestamps for all the 10 signs you might have been raised by narcissistic parents.
*TRIGGER WARNING : POSSIBLE MENTIONS OF SUICIDE AND DEATH.*
0:46 Your parents live through you.
1:13 Your parents' love is conditional.
1:50 Your parents feel they are superior to others.
2:29 Your parents are dismissive and unwilling to identify your feelings with those of others.
2:58 Your parents compare you to your siblings, friends and the kids of their friends.
3:19 Your parents become furious when something doesn't go their way, no matter how small.
3:50 Your parents guilt trip you with fear, obligation and guilt.
4:13 You struggle with healthy boundaries because you had none growing up.
4:52 Your accomplishments are never your own doing.
5:37 You become codependent.
Stay safe. You are loved. ❤️
There were no mentions of suicide and death in the time stamps….
@@randomsfandoms9000 Ah okay, I just saw the trigger warning in the beginning, so I put it here; I did say ‘possible’.
This video just hammers down what I thought all my life. I'm 41 & just now I can see the light. I was raised this way. It took me a very long time to fully understand. When your parent/parents stop All forms of affection when u turn 5. Live in fear of them. Walk on egg shells. Emotion were Never validated. Always told what a disappointment u are. Every time I would move out- I would be treated like gold in hopes I would come back "home". But thank God, I don't sit around with anger, guilt, shame, resentment, fear & worry. It's definitely a tough up-bringing. The worst is when a father does this to his daughter & makes mommy cry Everyday- the daughter starts to look for love from men who are abusers or narcissistic ways alike.
i luckily dont live with my parents anymore so im lucky i had the chance to break away from that household when i did with the help of my very close friend. I can strongly relate to each and every one of these points in the video, and even more so i can relate to those of you who have experienced: they caused my depression, when i tell them i am depressed they tell me "the truth hurts", controlling who i see and what i do and what i think, they make me feel like a failure, they judge me for how i look "You look so much more beautiful with make up on" making me feel like im only attractive if i have a fake face on, they painted the rest of the world in this awful picture where i was made to feel scared to be out in the streets when its dark and i can't trust people, they gaslight me by saying i should've listened to them when i choose my own ways, they always say im selfish, they give me no privacy to the point where not even my own bedroom is a safe space for me, they always ask why im not like my brother (who is also exactly like them) but would use my friends against me in arguments when i say "... parents let them do it, why cant I?", they make me feel guilty for asking for financial help, when i say im struggling mentally they dismiss it by saying "i dont know why you feel like that..?!", they say i have attitude when i try to stand up to them which makes my dad shout louder, i can never say what i want to say but they get to say everything they want, then flip it around when i have an issue with it, they dont see me as their 'adult daughter' instead their 'little girl', they tracked my every location through my mobile phone even past the age of 18 and they would come out and find me when im out with my friends, they dont care about my true happiness with what i do as long its approved by them and they think i'm good enough to do it, they often guilt trip me and play the victim by blaming me for their bad health, they criticise me daily for what i do in my life, they have never ever once said sorry to me for anything, they accuse me of stealing, they never taught me a thing about "how to adult" or "how to life" so that has shaped me into an incredibly codependent person, they told me that "everything that goes wrong in your life has one factor, and its YOU! You're the problem!" and finally ive been called an accident...
i'm currently in the process of cutting them out of my life for good and will soon seek therapy sessions.
Anyone who is experiencing any or all of this, i strongly strongly advise that you do the same because i can already see and feel my soul changing. ❤️
please take care my friends, and continue to watch Psych2Go Videos because these are the videos that have helped me recognise, acknowledge and move forward with my OWN life through my family's negative actions and words.
Yes this has all shaped who i am today, but from this day forward i can shape who i am tomorrow ❤️ peace and love always x
The fact that I clicked so fast ☠️
It took me 36 years of life including a 3 year relationshit with a (diagnosed) narcissist to finally fully acknowledge what I always knew - my father is a narcissist and my mother has terrible mood swings and control issues. It's good to know that everyone of us can break the vicious cycle instead of continuing to live and pass on this "toxic normality" many of us grew up with.
& how did u do that??
This video hits hard. Both my parents were like this. The worse experience I had was my dad dismissing my feelings when I told them I was being bullied every day in the new school that they had put me in without even considering if I wanted to go there. He graduated from that school and he had a good experience there so he "thinks" that the school is great even though I was constantly being pranked and made fun of up to the point that I was of crying every day. My mom who would listen wouldn't do anything but just tell the school. Nothing happened. It continued for years. I begged them to transfer me but they didn't want to because of small things like the school isn't good enough or because they didn't like the kids there. So I ended up getting depressed and just gave up. From high school through college I was just lost because what I thought were good things that they provided were all just a delusion. I thought I knew the things I wanted. I thought I was happy. After years of being controlled, I just had to get out. I'm trying my best to let them know of their mistakes but I know that is almost impossible. So I'm just trying to distance myself away from them as much as possible.
I know this was a long post but I just want people who had the same upbringing as me to know that once you've realized what you have been through or are being in right now, there is always hope. Just because you had a terrible childhood doesn't mean you can't have a great adult life.
I have 1 parent who influenced the other to be like him and I'm already seeking out therapy... will definitely be talking about this this week!
Both of my parents have and had some of these signs. The more severe ones my dad had. He wouldn't let me write while on family/public outings or listen to music during my daily grooming. The taking sole responsibility for my siblings' achievements is something my mother did and still does.
Your daily... grooming?
@@shoe777 yes, brushing my hair and teeth, washing up.
@@DespairDoctor Oh. I was very confused, I've never heard people use grooming when talking about themselves.
@@shoe777 yeah it's not used that way as much nowadays.
I can relate to a lot of this, not all but it confirms some of my experience as a child. It certainly explains a lot of things.
Can tell you one of mine never wanted to admit when they’re wrong.
Huge sign
it's just my mother who is narcissistic which i just found out 5 months ago while i was reading an article but i just wanted to confirm it with this video so i can actually know that im not just victimizing myself and the signs and behaviors of my mother are actually true.
Hope you are safe 💔
I hate that term. I hate that standing up for yourself or talking about what you went through is victimizing yourself. Be strong, friend. That's just gaslighting. Don't even bother showing them any " proof", it won't matter and she'll just say your the problem and trying to blame her. Focus instead on not reacting to anything she says or does. A narcissist hates being ignored. It's hard but you can't change them so channel the energy into learning more about how to recover and getting away from them. Get professional help if you can. Stay strong
@@yelyahfan88x94 thank you so much. everything has been getting worse with her these days and i have trying my best to ignore but she just love to crawl under my skin. and in asia, we dont have any therapists or any professional help so when i can finally move to the u.s., i have made a promise to myself i will go see one when im stable to see one.
@@stargirldeco I know it's incredibly difficult but don't beat yourself up if you slip and keep trying because you win when you don't react and you begin to heal when you aren't even bothered by it because you know they won't change and you can still thrive. Keep going! I believe in you!
"It's important for the Narcissistic parent to be motivated to change"...how is that possible when they can't take accountability and view themselves as faultless and perfect? Don't bother, go no contact or grey rock
the first sign was that i got this on my recommendations
Wow... some are really true. One of my parent is a narcissistic while the other is full of love. Last time as a kid, I really dunno about this and would follow blindly. As I grow up... I get to understand what is mean by a narcissistic parent and I will stand up for myself if I find that i was being unreasonably treated. Eventually found out that i'm quite an independent person and I like to think positively without following the footsteps of my narcissistic parent 😊.
Narcissist parents will *never* change, just stay the most away from them. Your life will be so much better.
It is of immense relief to see that I am not crazy & these things really did happen to me & were not my fault or ‘normal’. Thank you.
If you believe that then you were gaslight. My heart skipped when I read this cause I can relate. It happened. It was real. And it's not you.
That definition of codependency was SO helpful!! Really helped me understand the concept & recognize it in myself/my experiences. Thank you so much for all your hard work!!
Yes, unfortunately, my parents are narcissistic especially my mother. I never felt that I love her
Hey buddy you have doing a great job you are helping a lot of people I am very happy to come through this channel been here for like 2 months it has make me build up strong for the things I have to do in life thanks a lot love you ♥️
This is my favourite channel to go to when I want to victimize myself
Remembering the time my mom flat out said "love is conditional"
My father is incredibly narcissistic and while my siblings and I realized this with time, my mother realized it earlier and she didn't leave him for us. Thankfully, after a lot of support from each other, she gathered the courage to get away from him. We still struggle with his narcissism because he wants everything in the divorce because "He worked for it" as if we didn't. But somehow we're better off without him
Sometimes I wonder how does it feels to loving your parents.
Even though I am an adult now and moved away and have a successful job I still dread having to deal with my parents.
No matter how well off I am it's still not enough to satisfy them.
- My father has a habit of trying to make me and my brother feel inferior by quizzing us about certain things we don't know by heart like who wrote what book or the date of a historical event or the meaning of an obscure regional word. I don't have an interest in knowing all these things since the information is readily available on the Internet, but for him it's a flex.
- My parents aren't interested in my hobbies and even oppose some of them like video games and collectibles saying that they are for children and asking when I'm going to grow out of them. Ironically even when I was a child they acted the same way. I'm tired of hearing it so I usually avoid talking to them about what I do in my free time.
- They act like they are always right because they've lived longer than me.
- They give or should I say shove down my throat unsolicited advice.
- They say it's for my well-being, but never consider my mental well-being.
- They brag about how it's thanks to them that I turned out not dumb even though they never took an interest in my education and my school work, besides the bare minimum of enrolling me.
- They say how they miss me and want to see me, but it's only on a physical level like I'm some trophy, because they aren't interested in truly knowing me.
- They always use the "I'm too old for this" excuse. I've been hearing it for the past 20 years.
It's time to keep 2 steps ahead and far away of my parents. It's time to stop thinking about them. Forever.
Narssisstic parents, or just narssisstic people in general, never seek help because they see themselves as prefect; everybody else is the problem.
Me being grown in a narcissist environment is never been easy. I do suffer from anxiety and depression but I'm still surviving somehow :') overall, I'm trynna be tough cuz I know one day I would get the freedom I wanted
The more I learn about what "Normal parents" really are the more I feel like Tarzan is lucky to be raised by gorillas
I feel that these videos understand their viewers a little too well ❤️
I am almost 40 and my family still does all this things constantly .
How to stop them ?.
I feel a 12 years old even if I am living alone from 20 years .
😓
In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on.
I wish I knew this information 50 years ago.
My parents weren’t narcissistic but they were both not so well with mental health which effected me. My dad always tried to guilt trip me into staying at his house on the weekends when I wanted to see my stepbrothers and stepdad for the weekend. My mom always used me as a child therapist so I was basically the secret keeper for everyone. She would complain and complain to me about how she hated my dad (she was married to my stepfather) which made me start to think that my dad wasn’t a good role model even though he was trying to be a good dad. My dad was also short in money and stuck living with my grandma.
I literally love ur videos they helped me from my anxiety attacks
I am sooo happy yall make videos on toxic parents. For the longest time i felt so lonely and alone. Like no one understood me. Everyone seems to come from a perfect family and i am the only one that no one can relate to. True this video i know that i am not alone. And that everything is not my fault but my parents make faults too.
My mother and father were not narcissists; they just simply had too many children and were unable to impart individual loving attention to either of us. I still need therapy to overcome that feeling of being unworthy and unwanted.
Yes. My parents are/were narcissistic. I'm trying to heal. Thanks for sharing.
This video was so unbelievably helpful, my mother is very narcissistic, and she lacks empathy, This helped me understand why she is the way she is, Thank you!!!! 💕
I spent the last 23 years of mine getting gaslit and manipulated. I was aware of it for a long time but never of the reasons themselves behind the whole situation. I hate who I became because I was always trying to appease someone who can never be satisfied with my actions and results, not to mention how amidst all this, I feel like my individuality and personality didn't have a chance to grow. All my life I felt like I don't have a personality that's essentially mine.
You know you're on right path when you slowly start gravitating towards the things that you actually love and care about. When you discover what really defines you or makes you tick. Because as soon as you start shaping the person you really are, they are going to try and fight every attempt of yours by shitty tactics because they don't want you to be yourself. They want you to be someone who gives them the validation that they did a good job with your upbringing, even if it means that they're methodically destroying your mental health and personality.
If you're still in a situation like that, fight it. Go against these notions and seek out what brings you joy. It's going to be scary as you're basically disregarding basic programming that's been engrained in you for years. But it's possible. And when you realize who you really are gradually, it's the best feeling in the world. The control can be yours, it's just hard as sh*t to grab a hold of it. But when you do, your life will become a million times better.
This video definitely resonates with me. I knew something was off my entire childhood, I felt like I was the black sheep a lot. And I couldn't say what was on my mind because it would rock the boat so to speak. I grew up around fake parents that said they love me but never truly showed it. Love is not just raising children it's also nurturing them and doing what's best for that child's individual needs. I was bare minimum'd by my parents when I should have been given more support and love
This is a fantastic, fantastic video. Thank you for the clarity of thought. Sadly all of these are present and evidenced for my parents. These videos help give me some of the support I need.
You guy's cites are so helpful. Thanks for being here.
Thank you very much for the work you do! Be informed is crutial for the forward healing.
My Mom has been telling me I'm literally hers because she gave birth to me all my life and says that I ruined her life because she and my dad couldn't keep it in their pants for a few more years. She also tries to guilt trip me with her probably soon to take place death because, well, she gave birth to me against the doctors advice, while my dad has been putting me under pressure all my life, not accepting any less than the best and the perfect from his daughter while they themselves aren't anything near 'the best'. And you know what? I had something like a burn-out two or three years ago and now I can't give two singular fcks about my life, my future, their nor my feelings or anything in general. I just couldn't care less about anything. I don't have motivation to do anything, I just don't want to do anything, I don't want to be happy or sad or anything, I just don't. There's something I noticed though: I had a few crushes on boys and girls, and in those short periods I'd actually be a bit more motivated to do stuff and care about myself a bit. Who knows, maybe it's the lack of mental support and love from my parents that made me this way. Wow, uhh, thanks for listening to my rant, ✨G O O D B I✨
Please pray for me I can’t move out yet so I still have to stay with my narcissistic parents. But this video is lifechanging thank you soooo much.😭❤️
... you know, the more I watch these videos about narcissist parents, the more I look back at my childhood and spot these signs...
Thanks for enlightening me, keep up the good work!
I needed this. Thanks so much.
As Always, another great video that's calming enough to help me sleep
I realize that my dad was a bit of a narcissist, but it's weird. The only one of these that really applies to me is 1. I grew up with a love for music and performing, much like he did, but he had been discouraged from pursuing it early on in his life, so when I showed no care for what others thought about me singing, he took it as an opportunity to live through me. I enjoyed it so much as a child, but when I hit my teenage years, burnout started to creep up on me, and eventually, I just got to where I didn't want to perform at all anymore. However, my dad expressed that this was "normal", and gave it a "play through the pain" type attitude when I expressed this to him. He eventually chilled out after I graduated high school, because he knew he didn't have much longer left, but it was always in the back of his mind, and I could always tell. What's funny is that, the comparison could also apply to me, but in reverse. He was always telling me how I was the best child he had ever raised, and I'm sure it affected me in some way (my brothers are all years older than me, so I was basically an only child, so they never heard him say this). He never put conditions on his love, and for that I'm grateful, and, even almost two years later, even though I'm acutely aware that his pushing me for music has probably done some psychological damage to me, I miss him as much as I did the day he died. I don't know if I'll ever truly get over it 😔
Everytime I had a question in my life this is my answer to motivate me
My mom was a weird kind of narcissic, at some point she decided to make me look so bad and make my siblings perfect by providing them all they needed and neglect me, so she look like the perfect mom with one horrible child and two other good kids. She was always trying to do everything's better then me. And she have done so many other things but hopefully in not living with them with them. Super video! And everyone passing over there, I wish you a great day!
I was raised by narcissists. I cant even handle having them in my life anymore. They are so upsetting. I've had them on my mind the last couple days and it feels like a horrible flashback I want to forget. I'm full of anxiety and I'm struggling to stay focused and functional because of it. I wish I could think about the good things instead. It wasn't all bad, but enough of it was to make it dominate my thoughts of them. The hardest part is how they don't seem to care or acknowledge their impact on my life! All I've ever wanted from my mother was for her to sincerely tell me she's sorry! Like "I dont know why I did/do those things, I was/am just a mess and I'm so fkn sorry " that's it! So simple to me but impossible to a narcissist. She continues to try to gaslight and lie and minimize and manipulate to this day and I'm in my 40's! Like enough already. And my dad has always been self centered. I learned not to count on him when I was little. But I wish it could be different with my mom. I've asked her to do therapy with me but she refuses. She is too selfishly worried about them seeing through her facade and diagnosing her. So, I have no other choice but to keep her away. Which isnt always easy either. She of course doesnt respect my boundaries. Ughhhh! 😭💔
This is was said before, but my father does this a lot to me me and my sisters.
Our mother is the opposite of him. She just wants us to be happy, live a good life the way we want, be financial stable, and full out just be ourselves..
In all kindness, I like your voice & speaking most of all.
Damn…. At first I thought this wasn’t my mom, but the last 5 definitely are true… it is what it is but I’m glad I recognized it after talking to this guy. My mom was jealous that I was giving someone else my time. I knew from that moment on that I wasn’t the problem or the guy, it was her!
this is literally my life.. thanks to them i have now anxiety and panic dissorder
This video was very helpful. Thank you for making this video. And the art is so cute😍👌
I love your videos 💕 it gives peace to my mind 😍
This video is explaining my entire life!!!!
Them: "I have what you don't have."
Me: "Yeah..it's your attitude towards everything."
Most valuable vedio.. Thank you so much..you just explained my parents accuratly !! right now I am experiencing silent treatment from them...trust me its worst !! I am suffering from anxiety..and depression too. Sometimes I am suicidal !!
this comment section gives me hope that i don't have to feel like i'm alone in this journey of healing, having a narcissistic parent really takes a toll on you and you never realise until you see videos like this, thank you for spreading awareness
I have learned to not be like my mother, a narcissist. I just knew somehow that it was not the type of person I wanted to be.
I achieved 2 things she was against I graduated High School and college.
My mother's values never matched mine, but still, she made my life harder than it needed to be.
However, I am a strong determination woman.
I can't relate I have a great relationship with my parents and I'm insanely grateful for that
I love your voice, is really soothing ☺
these relate sm. tysm
My mom is a narcissist, she always interrupts me when I try to talk to her about me or my feelings, it was really afecting me lately, so one time I simply told her "I'm not talking about you!" Of course she didn't care how mean that sounds, as long as she has me as an espectator of her life she doesn't care how I feel
Your video = Relief from all pains = Happiness
That happen to me before when I bring my friend at our house and they meet with my parents, my mom act like she's happy but when my friends are gone she's start saying bad things about them, about how they look, it's like she's acting that she know everything. After that I never bring anyone
Yes. No words rn.
Damn this is so relatable... Too relatable
It feels like something that thought is correct ..Parents can't be always right .. I still dealing with sometimes it feels like how Parents can be like this .... early times I thought that I m overthinking but now I understand that I m victim.. god save me ...🙏
although my parents show such clear signs and also, i feel, manipulate me emotionally, i am still not able to acknowledge it. i love them too much to hold them accountable for the emotional state i'm in currently and feel i'm the only one responsible. idk what to do.
You're not responsible for this gain more knowledge on narcissism and try to break out if you can get professional help it'll be best.. firstly knowing about narcissism will help you.
I learned that by forgiving myself and learning to love who I was, gave me the strength to let go of those who do not serve me happiness and love. Even if its our parents, there’s a choice we all have to make; Saving ourselves or struggle to keep afloat pleasing others. There will be anger or sadness maybe both from your parents but if it’s from the genuine place of loving yourself they will come back in a time when your ready.
Sadly my parents do some of this stuff... Luckily they don't do all of this stuff, so I wouldn't call them fully narcissistic or bad parents. They've raised me pretty well and I do have manners. But that doesn't mean that they are completely aware of their mini parent mistakes.
I always thought my parents were the way they were because they were older. Now almost 80 I believe they are too old to change. Distance is the best thing. I only wish I distanced myself YEARS AGO.
Sadly, all of this points describe the relationship with my parents perfectly. And I could add the Situation of "You always have to archive excelent grades". Since kindergarden, they made me learn to write and read at quicker peace than anyone else. We had economic problems and my parents tought I could only learn in a private school. I started way later than anyone else and made me stay until late and study even more when returning at home. I had to made 3 years of school in only 3 months and it was exhausted at that age.Later on the next years, as soon as my grades lowered, They didn't let me get out of the house to study and do extra work. While others were seeing their friends and socializing; I had to stay in home to improve my grades. And even seeing the problems I had growing up, even to this day; they just finds the way to blame me for all of it. "All my problems are because I want it that way, I only want to blame other for my problems". Is their only answer.
I have to do all the housework but my sister and my brother don't have to...
They even sleep all day and my parents don't even care. When they tired, my mom and dad act like they have Corona-virus and then when I'm sick they don't even care...
I watched your videos for learning English however i realize it is more than a simple video