💜 Please be aware of scammers impersonating Tim or the Tim Fletcher team! We do not provide any phone numbers in the comments and Tim does not chat privately with viewers. We will never ask you to join us on a messaging app. When in doubt, reach out to us via our website at timfletcher.ca. Stay safe and scam-aware. With Love, The Tim Fletcher Team.
I don't know how does it feel to be safe. I think it's very hard to start healing and look deep if I don't feel safe. My attention is always taken by trying to keep myself and daughter safe. Dealing now with post separation abuse after finding out I was in relationship with a narc for 26 years. Through this discovery, I realized that both my parents are narcs. I can't afford therapy, trying to educate myself and take everthing in small bites. My daughter is the priority. Need to give her safety. I have to be strong. I'm alone with her far away in Australia. I was raised in Romania. Being far away is a blessing. Tim, keep these videos coming. Thank you
@@PurplePixi77 Strength to you while you get clarity and prioritize safety. I think you’re right that being and feeling safe has to come first. Good on you learning about relationship patterns; I think you’re already on a path toward healing and supportive relationships.
Denial is fascinating. I've only just come out of it after approx. 30 years. And I've only just come out of Stockholm Syndrome too. The devastating impact and insidious nature of abusing children can never be understated. I still find myself beating myself up for not being able to come out of both as soon as I turned 18 for some reason.
I just assume everyone sees the worst in me and completely doubts everything I say, so I have to over explain everything. Sarah is a warrior and a champion for sure.
I denied my mum's inaction in the face of abuse. With the help of my own patient therapist, I no longer have a relationship with her. Painful feelings denied are just waiting to be felt sometime in the future. Pain denied is pain delayed, that's all.
Love your work, Tim, but need to put a different slant on the denial of cptsd trauma. As a 1 in 6 boy from the early 1970s, I was brutally g-raped after school most days for months when I was 8. Months later when my mother found out, she punished me because she mistook my Stockholm syndrome towards the perpetrators with complicity on my part. She repeatedly and brutally beat me until I dissociated permanently, forgetting who I was. This was because she was fearful of having a gay son. I was not offered counseling, no police activity even though we knew all three teen boy perpetrators from the neighborhood. Instead I was left on my own to forget about it simply because I could not function in daily life with everything that had happened, including the shame installed in me by my mother. I did so well at forgetting, it took me 50 years to remember it again, and that was devastating. I have therapy now, and an online support group, but it is still difficult terrain. The impact on my life for 50 years was real, even though I didn't know what was causing my issues in life while the memories were hidden. Interpersonal relationship were difficult, and voids in my psyche left me vulnerable to abusive self-absorbed people. I'll never know how much differently my life would have turned out had I not been forced to forgot, and instead been allowed to start down the road of healing when I was 8 years old. Denial of cptsd isn't always for the reasons you list.
Oh my goodness gerald. I completely empathise with the point you are trying to make. For a child to fathom and accept abuse and then when that child brings the info to adults and now they are choosing to ignore reality and are actively urging or by omission, ignoring your trauma. At some point in the child's mind, the child is trying to deal or make sense of abuse and adult figures ignore, so it's further encouraged to ignore the incident. Bloody frustrating. Sadly, I understand this because a neighbourhood kid did something similar to me and no adult wanted to admit much less help me to make sense of what happened. Many times thr truth, or rather hiding of the truth is again pushed by the very people who are committing the abuses
My parents made many mistakes raising us but I know they did the best they knew how to.. I will never hold it against them.. yes I’m broken but I will strive to be the best I can daily..
You can hold them accountable for their mistakes without rejecting their love. Just as parents are meant to hold children accountable for their mistakes while still loving the child. We should strive to love the person but to HATE the sin ❤️
Wow! My name name is also "Sara" and I've only just realized that I've been struggling with denial, in a multitude of different forms, for as long as I can recall. The confusion has finally lifted, at least around the edges. The pain is just overwhelming... it turns into hate, self hate. I want to run away from it. Facing it is the only way through.
My brother thinks everyone is stupid except him. He talks to you like you're really thick. He was nearing a breakdown but after going on anti depressants he claimed he was fine there was nothing wrong. He didn't need therapy. The medication fixed it.
I wish there was a dating place or site or whatever.......for others who are working on themselves. I am TIRED of meeting same sex friends AND potential dates of opposite sex who are not safe because they haven't even touched the surface of feeling the need to explore back, to move forward more fully :( Where are there??????
A guy at work was like that. When I told the manager that I didn't think I could work with him,the manager said he treats everyone including him that way. Apparently he was in an accident where he went through a windshield of a car and sustained a bad head injury 🤕 that you wouldn't know to look at him. The manager was in the process of helping him get on disability.
I have a question this happened in August what about if they denied knowing you to your friend when she bring your name up and the person face her with a serious face arms folded it and looking scard and the November second time she did it a couple months later and that person denied it again but this time that person in they car and that person quickly denied you while looking straight ahead and that person avoid eye contact with your friend and the person eyes get big quickly turns they head and kept turn they head
I did that for my mom... To justify my mom worked hard poor alone raising us so not eating and I'm sick of being mom take off. I covered defense for my mom.
Advice for somebody with constant disassociation and episodes of derealization from cptsd? I can't work on any of my trauma because it's being frozen out
I have been doing a lot of yoga nidra and somatic exercises to try rebuild my connection with my body. Its been helpful, though be prepared for a lot of emotional releases that were a lot to manage, so make sure you are looking after yourself and have plenty of time and space when you practice x
Everyone is an empathetic person, we just vary in the things we value as deserving of that empathy. Just because others empathize for things you do not value does not mean they lack empathy, they simply value other things/people.
SOOO HAPPY YOU HAVE DECIDED TO DO THIS TIM! I HOPE THESE STORIES ARE GOING TO CONTINUE! UNFOLDING THERAPY IS VERY HELPFUL, IN -DEPTH, INSIGHTFUL & FASCINATING! ALWAYS A BLESSING. :-)
💜 Please be aware of scammers impersonating Tim or the Tim Fletcher team! We do not provide any phone numbers in the comments and Tim does not chat privately with viewers. We will never ask you to join us on a messaging app. When in doubt, reach out to us via our website at timfletcher.ca. Stay safe and scam-aware. With Love, The Tim Fletcher Team.
I don't know how does it feel to be safe. I think it's very hard to start healing and look deep if I don't feel safe. My attention is always taken by trying to keep myself and daughter safe. Dealing now with post separation abuse after finding out I was in relationship with a narc for 26 years. Through this discovery, I realized that both my parents are narcs. I can't afford therapy, trying to educate myself and take everthing in small bites. My daughter is the priority. Need to give her safety. I have to be strong. I'm alone with her far away in Australia. I was raised in Romania. Being far away is a blessing. Tim, keep these videos coming. Thank you
@@PurplePixi77 Strength to you while you get clarity and prioritize safety. I think you’re right that being and feeling safe has to come first. Good on you learning about relationship patterns; I think you’re already on a path toward healing and supportive relationships.
You are not alone. I was there for a long time too. I am just now slowly but surely learning how to adjust to living in safety. Prayers, friend 🙏🏻
❤
@@PurplePixi77 ❤️💛💚
Denial is fascinating. I've only just come out of it after approx. 30 years. And I've only just come out of Stockholm Syndrome too. The devastating impact and insidious nature of abusing children can never be understated. I still find myself beating myself up for not being able to come out of both as soon as I turned 18 for some reason.
It's hard to accept love from strangers when your own parents didn't love you
It’s kinda the definition of ‘there’s another explanation for their behaviour😁’ until, you finally go: I’M HEARING IT NOW🤬🫢🤬🤬🤬😬
Denial and blaming everything on their siblings is easier than living in reality.
It is hard to get love from anyone when your own parents do not love you. Healthy people love each other and do not notice the invisible one.
@@cristina7317 "Hard to pet" syndrome
Wow that resonated
I just assume everyone sees the worst in me and completely doubts everything I say, so I have to over explain everything. Sarah is a warrior and a champion for sure.
❤❤
I denied my mum's inaction in the face of abuse. With the help of my own patient therapist, I no longer have a relationship with her. Painful feelings denied are just waiting to be felt sometime in the future. Pain denied is pain delayed, that's all.
Thank you
Love your work, Tim, but need to put a different slant on the denial of cptsd trauma. As a 1 in 6 boy from the early 1970s, I was brutally g-raped after school most days for months when I was 8. Months later when my mother found out, she punished me because she mistook my Stockholm syndrome towards the perpetrators with complicity on my part. She repeatedly and brutally beat me until I dissociated permanently, forgetting who I was. This was because she was fearful of having a gay son. I was not offered counseling, no police activity even though we knew all three teen boy perpetrators from the neighborhood. Instead I was left on my own to forget about it simply because I could not function in daily life with everything that had happened, including the shame installed in me by my mother. I did so well at forgetting, it took me 50 years to remember it again, and that was devastating.
I have therapy now, and an online support group, but it is still difficult terrain. The impact on my life for 50 years was real, even though I didn't know what was causing my issues in life while the memories were hidden. Interpersonal relationship were difficult, and voids in my psyche left me vulnerable to abusive self-absorbed people. I'll never know how much differently my life would have turned out had I not been forced to forgot, and instead been allowed to start down the road of healing when I was 8 years old. Denial of cptsd isn't always for the reasons you list.
@@geraldc867 thanks you for sharing even though it was hard for me to read . You’re on the right track listening to this gentleman and others .
@geraldc867 I am in a similar position I forgot what happened to me.
@@jonathgn there's a male survivors sight for people like us
Oh my goodness gerald. I completely empathise with the point you are trying to make. For a child to fathom and accept abuse and then when that child brings the info to adults and now they are choosing to ignore reality and are actively urging or by omission, ignoring your trauma. At some point in the child's mind, the child is trying to deal or make sense of abuse and adult figures ignore, so it's further encouraged to ignore the incident. Bloody frustrating. Sadly, I understand this because a neighbourhood kid did something similar to me and no adult wanted to admit much less help me to make sense of what happened. Many times thr truth, or rather hiding of the truth is again pushed by the very people who are committing the abuses
Truly amazing video. Thank you so much for preparing and sharing this. Looking forward to the next video
Good morning monster! What a great book Tim! My therapist recommended me to read. It was amazing
Such brilliant work, this is helping me fully understand my daughter's defences and her overwhelming fear of going there
My parents made many mistakes raising us but I know they did the best they knew how to.. I will never hold it against them.. yes I’m broken but I will strive to be the best I can daily..
You can hold them accountable for their mistakes without rejecting their love. Just as parents are meant to hold children accountable for their mistakes while still loving the child. We should strive to love the person but to HATE the sin ❤️
Wow! My name name is also "Sara" and I've only just realized that I've been struggling with denial, in a multitude of different forms, for as long as I can recall. The confusion has finally lifted, at least around the edges. The pain is just overwhelming... it turns into hate, self hate. I want to run away from it. Facing it is the only way through.
Thank you very much for sharing your knowlege and experience!
My sister makes excuses for awful things, she twists the facts around so that everyone and everything is nice.
Thank you so much Tim! I can see bits of myself in this story. Healing does take time.
Wow, it's very hard work going back to my childhood life experiences.😮
What a precious session, Tim! So many things to unpack and tools to help ourselves and others... Thank you!
A truly powerful video
My names Sara and I got a little nervous like how do you know me😂❤
I love this, it gives great perspective.
Thank you so much , this can help me take a look at my childhood. 🎉
My brother thinks everyone is stupid except him. He talks to you like you're really thick. He was nearing a breakdown but after going on anti depressants he claimed he was fine there was nothing wrong. He didn't need therapy. The medication fixed it.
Thank you so much
I love these kind of videos!! More with this theme
Denial makes you safe.
Omg. This is my partner, he has so many issues, specially this one!!!!
I wish there was a dating place or site or whatever.......for others who are working on themselves. I am TIRED of meeting same sex friends AND potential dates of opposite sex who are not safe because they haven't even touched the surface of feeling the need to explore back, to move forward more fully :( Where are there??????
It's called Church ❤️
Omg what a sad story I don’t know if it’s 100% real but yeah generational trauma is hard. Let’s heal step by step
I have been defensive in many situations.
A guy at work was like that. When I told the manager that I didn't think I could work with him,the manager said he treats everyone including him that way. Apparently he was in an accident where he went through a windshield of a car and sustained a bad head injury 🤕 that you wouldn't know to look at him. The manager was in the process of helping him get on disability.
That is because maybe they have been through much more than you could possibly know.
I have a question this happened in August what about if they denied knowing you to your friend when she bring your name up and the person face her with a serious face arms folded it and looking scard
and the November second time she did it a couple months later and that person denied it again but this time that person in they car and that person quickly denied you while looking straight ahead and that person avoid eye contact with your friend and the person eyes get big quickly turns they head and kept turn they head
I would love more case studies. Thank you Tim
I did that for my mom... To justify my mom worked hard poor alone raising us so not eating and I'm sick of being mom take off. I covered defense for my mom.
Alright... how exactly did you get all these details of my story?
Advice for somebody with constant disassociation and episodes of derealization from cptsd? I can't work on any of my trauma because it's being frozen out
I have been doing a lot of yoga nidra and somatic exercises to try rebuild my connection with my body. Its been helpful, though be prepared for a lot of emotional releases that were a lot to manage, so make sure you are looking after yourself and have plenty of time and space when you practice x
Funny, as an empathetic person, I find those who aren't empathetic are in denial, weak and aloof....that's just me though
@@Jennifer-gr7hn Fake to. And having expectations of perfection from you.
Everyone is an empathetic person, we just vary in the things we value as deserving of that empathy. Just because others empathize for things you do not value does not mean they lack empathy, they simply value other things/people.
Omg poor kiddo((
SOOO HAPPY YOU HAVE DECIDED TO DO THIS TIM! I HOPE THESE STORIES ARE GOING TO CONTINUE! UNFOLDING THERAPY IS VERY HELPFUL, IN -DEPTH, INSIGHTFUL & FASCINATING! ALWAYS A BLESSING. :-)
Why do you type in all caps?
@@Sara-x6t3s My caps were on before I started typing. ;-) And also I'm just emphasizing, not shouting.
♥️
AWE.....I just missed you but am happy to hear your latest session. Much Love, Peace and Blessing😊💜🌻
that's scary...
@@Dobermanmomma what's scary? Tim's Friday night starts at 7pm, the commentor wrote this at 8pm, missing the live
@@GodIsLove1John416you do realize that we don't all live in your specific time zone, don't you?
@@Sara-x6t3s I'm very well aware of time zone changes. I gave for EST, up to whomever to do the math from wherever they're at