ALTER EGO | CAN YOU COMPLETELY BE YOURSELF AROUND YOUR PARTNER?| South African YOUTUBE COUPLE
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- Опубліковано 19 вер 2024
- Please watch in HD
Do you have an alter-ego and are you comfortable with sharing that part yourself with your partner?
Comment below to share your thoughts.
#alterego #relationships #themakhs
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You might not realize this but this podcast is therapy itself for some of us…. Keep up the good work Mr & Mrs Makhs 🥰
This is so humbling🥺♥️.
Am I the only person that can relate to Mr Makhs so much on reading the room before you express yourself
The "frankness" in this conversation 👌🏾. The rawness and blatant honesty is what I ALWAYS appreciate about your podcast! 💞🙌🏾
Thank you for creating a safe space for us. Some conversations are tougher than others, but have to be had ♥️
And that's what we appreciate you guys for, your authenticity! 👌🏾Difficult as certain convos may be, trust that you're aiding in the manoeuvring of this "relationship-ing" thing...😂🤣
You make it easy to tackle those 'awkward' conversations.
Thank you for that!
✅️ right
Lol the Moment Phetola said " What Dance? My husband has a dance?" 🤣
I wish such content should blow up to reach a million, billion and more viewers, then more marriages could be saved and the divorce statistics could decrease in the whole world, your content is so rich and relatable ,gosh may God continue using you to preach and share your testimony.
From your mouth to God’s ears🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾♥️
The mature manner in which this conversation was had is inspiring. Big up to the Makhs
❤️❤️❤️🙌🏾🙌🏾
My husband needs to see this, I always say waphapha when his alter ego comes out😅 in public and he does it anyway 😭. Nkare oba worse and I just want to disappear.
I’m glad you guys were willing to have this conversation because I think we also need to have it.
😆"Oba worse" 😀
Back again - I toooootally get Phetola’s POV now in terms of wanting to know “my person.” I’m not married yet, but I feel the same way with my closest friends. I legit feel some type of way when others know things about them that I don’t! 😂😂 I’m like, “But wait! She’s/He’s MY best friend. How do I not know this??!!” 😅 That said, I think it is a learning curve and an area of growth recognizing that “my people” don’t just belong to me or serve only me in this world. There’s a beauty in discovering all of the facets of the people I love, but that may unfold over the course of time (again doesn’t mean it’s an “alter ego” in my view). There’s also space for letting them be what is needed for others that I don’t necessarily need to fulfill our relationship.
It's so beautiful how Phetola was able to recall all those names. ♥️😍
This is better than binge watching Netflix. I learn so much from Phetola ,the way she handles issues even when not happy about them and still be completely honest to self but the love and respect 😍
I absolutely love how honest and transparent you guys are with each other. You listen to each other so well. It’s so inspiring .
Your channel is literally therapy/ premarital counselling. A ministry🤞🏾❤️
@ Kamohelo Muso so true this channel is a ministry.
Dear Lerato and Phetola (and Dzadzy Larry?) 😁, I love you guys, you're beautiful people, I enjoy listening to your insights, testimonies and observations. Both of you are impressively well-spoken and skillful in articulating your points, plus doing so with an enjoyable balance of grace and sincerity.
According to the dictionary an "alter ego" is an alternative personality, whose traits are distinctively different from your "normal" or your associated personality traits.
I also generally have a black and white outlook to life, something is either right or wrong with nothing in between 😊.
I'll therefore admit to you that I'm struggling with the use of the term "alter ego". Why can't we call Mr Makhs' personality layered, varied, multifaceted, etc. without borrowing from a concept which if adopted would potentially lend others, young and old alike, in hot water as they venture to free their "alternative personalities"?
Jesus is accurately referred to as the Lion and the Lamb in some of our songs. And He can also be called the Great Advocate and Judge. But I don't believe He puts on different personas in different situations. He is always One Thing. In other words, no one would be surprised that He advocated for them because somewhere else He brought judgement. I suppose the issue of how long you're in a person's life would answer why they would only know one side of you which is the opposite of the side you displayed elsewhere. Suffice to say the longer someone is in your life, they should perhaps come to know all your sides?
Tjoooo, if I'm being honest guys 😊, my long comment is also inspired by the rising concern I have regarding how New Age terminologies are being adopted and used nonchalantly in the Church today. Such terms as channeling, universe, energies, alter ego? Etc. But let me not get sidetracked, I just thought to share my take on "alter ego".
Thank you guys. We love you. May your channel grow in leaps and bounds, and continue to touch many lives.
Much Appreciation & Respect
💞🤗
Why am I amused by "Daddy Larry" getting a greeting too? Lol. Totally agree with you.
I definitely am not 100% myself around my partner but I think it works for us because I am more the Mr Makhs of our relationship and my partner gets embarrassed easily. And I hate answering his many questions later on.
Honestly I think he’s louder around his friends than he is around me and I’m ok with it. No one person can be everything you want them to be at every given moment.
32:47 Pheto take it! Own it! And change it if you don’t like it. It is Rato’s experience. Don’t invalidate it. Just listen and let him speak. Ka Sesotho re re “nnete eya hlaba” hahhah. Some truths are horrible to hear. But this is your opportunity to reflect, learn and apologise. If you keep being like that, then he won’t ever be able to present the side of him that you don’t like to you. Be his safe space. That starts with acknowledging and not questioning his truth 😃. Hore why you don’t know that side in the first place ☺️.
I found myself feeling so sorry for her because we are so similar. Knowing you are genuinely a good person yet you have this strong character and sharp mouth that when things are repeated to you you struggle to believe it is you. I really get her. A good heart with a strong character and a sharp mouth. Deadly combination.
@@siyamtolo6733 😀 awhhh bless! Assertiveness can come across as brashness at times.
This 46 minute video took me over an hour and a half to watch and digest. I paused, rewinded and shared a few times while watching.
What a raw, authentic conversation, bathong. Thank you so much for letting us in and holding up a mirror to yourselves, and in turn helping us do the same. Very relatable.
I’m walking away with a lot to talk and think about. I’ve shared with at least 5 friends, and I’ll be chatting about this with my boyfriend.
All the best talking it through in therapy. One could hear that the discussion is a work in progress, but it was handled with such grace and maturity. You’re a good example for those of us looking to commit long term. One love. Two real. ❤️
Lerato High Five bra... You've summed me up so well. Gosh i feel heard!! What you see is NOT what you get. I can be different in different places with different people
Lerato's theory is what all marriages need. Accepting your partner and not sweating the small stuff. He didn't feel oppressed but just chose to go and express that side somewhere else. If he had fought for that you guys would have had serious problems. Now you are both in a space where you can deal with this with an openness from your side which you didn't have then. A lot of marriages fail at this.
I wish more men can familiarize themselves with this podcast.
We love and appreciate you guys♥️
Please plug them!😀😀❤️
I watched twice to try and clarify my feelings and I feel both of you.
Mr Makhs, I feel you that what you see is not what you get, you can’t be one size fits all. I also believe that you must be able to read the room and relate accordingly. I also understand that the other character was shut down previously(at home) but that didn’t mean that it cannot be expressed somewhere else where relevant .
Mrs Makhs just like you I don’t want to be the mean girl, and I also want to be the only one who knows my person best, in totality. But remember back then some parts of your person didn’t appeal to you but they didn’t stop existing. He opted not to express those parts to you for peace sake.
I believe with growth and maturity that you’ve both gained go tlo nna Le balance.
Well said.
We often say be yourself but in what environment do you offer an environment where I can be myself, are you able to receive me when I am myself. I want to say this is the most polite way but sis Phetola even here on the screen she did it a couple of times where she still wanted to chase perfection by invalidated Lerato’s feelings but no I do not want to be the mean girl, No you are not hear Lerato out and let him be thats is all he needs , but I am happy with this I am learning through you I see a lot of myself ku Sis Phetola.
I am like Phetola, I also want to be the person that knows my partner more than everyone
Learning a lot from you guys ♥️
It’s Lerato picking his battle at 33:00 😂😂.
You guys have no idea how watching you is helping me come out of my shell and actually address certain things. Love it ❤️
I hear you Madam. Like... I can resonate with what you're saying," I don't want to be a mean girl" " I don't want you to feel oppressed". This hit deep.
We were literally on the hot seat tonightttt 😄😄😄. This was such a delicate topic to discuss and yet the conversation so raw and real and authentic!. This. This is what brings life and gets us carrying the lessons back home. This is what gets us thinking and rethinking..
Keep at it The Makhs ❤️❤️
Beautifully said mama😍🙏🏽!!
Here’s me jumping in before the video ends again. 🙈😅 But on the back end Lerato explaining his alter ego as being “lit,” my question in general is, would this really be considered an alter ego or is it really who you are and it just shows up depending on context? For example, I’m an introvert’s introvert-prefer to be a hermit and am publicly quiet and reserved. But when I’m with MY PEOPLE 🙌🏾😁-who I am comfortable and safe with - anyone would think I’m an extrovert because I talk nonstop, crack jokes, laugh, dare I say “am the life of the party.” But I don’t consider that an alter ego. Who I am is multifaceted and different people access different parts of me based on relationship or the environmental context. Not sure if that makes sense but those were my thoughts.
Same and 100% understand you
My inside to the topic was on your partner potraying a strange character that is unusual that its of pretense that you dislike or puts you at disconfort to me would be like conforting you freinds and be hero and jokely and never do it around your partner, love you freinds.goodnight ,best laughs and never with your hubby strange for maltifaceted partner.
Mr Makhs, you know what you just did with the replays? I wish my husband and I had that coz there are so many times we’ve argued over what was said and we can’t go back to that moment to see 🤣🤣🤣 What a great conversation, so many things to think about!
To those that watch till the end😂😂🍾🍾. Mr Makhs is having way too much fun here 😂😂😂😂
💀 Far too much fun! 😂
My people!!! I don’t know how you guys are bringing these instalments back to back mara I am here for all of it 🔥🔥🔥❤️❤️❤️❤️ kea le rata
O rata Ke rona!!♥️♥️♥️♥️
We love you fam!!♥️♥️♥️
First of all, this safe space and expression that is in tune with respect, compassion and understanding? Raw and honest from both sides.
...would like to see more of 'Lerry' in the podcast
Now this is something I'm currently facing but could not explain, thank you so much for this. The thing now is, being with someone you are able to engage on this, without it turning into an argument... Loved this 🙏🏽
I don't know a more real, vulnerable and authentic couple on these youtube streets. Love y'all.
This is a very interesting topic, I understand Mr Makhs people will say to me "how are you friends with so and so?" but really it's about having the ability to read and understand a different characters of people and acclimatize to them without compromising yourself.
This conversation is deep Shem, I enjoy seeing the maturity and love between you guys even in difficult conversations🥺
♥️♥️♥️♥️
This is so admirable, a lot of power lies in acknowledging our differences, our mistakes and our own faults, you guys put a lot of work in your relationship (marriage) and it is so evident in how you’re able to have such uncomfortable conversations with each other and it doesn’t shake your union.
I never comment on videos but I had to comment on this. This is the most beautiful thing I have seen on the internet in a while. The honesty 🥺 it’s sooo inspiring to see people who are honest about what life is really like. Very often we want to project perfection but this was sooo inspiring and soooo liberating. You are giving us all permission to be imperfect but happy in our relationships. Thank you
I think, personally, it’s less about who I understand and who I don’t understand but more so about how you’re both allowing yourselves and each other to grow into the people you are growing into. It’s a true display of ‘doing life together’
God bless you both as individuals, and your marriage ❤️
Wow wow wow! Your honest vulnerability to share authentically is SOOOOO HELPFUL. You show how much you love each other, you hear each other AND help viewers put language to so much! Thank you for being yourselves and sharing this space for us to learn and grow with you. God bless you both✝️♥️
Yhoo what a hectic discussion. Hearing and understanding both sides, it's tricky hey. I appreciate the maturity and the grace that the both of you offer. To a 100K!!!
I love it when Mrs Makhs compliments Mr Makhs and he says, "stop it I like it." Lol
😂😂😂
Not Mr Makhs doing our lady dirty with the rewinds.
We love you shem❤
😂😂😂😂😂😂 he’s clearly having too much fun! 😂😂😂😂
This conversation is making me reflect and really know how to embrace the different characters in a person ...
I love Mrs Makhs delivery, you speak with such grace and pureness. You guys are God sent keep up the good work ❤️
It's the understanding that you give one another for me! A listening Ear. It's so hard one understanding ones feelings or why they feel their A isn't another's A.(different opinions or thoughts about each other) It's the accountability and respect too in both of your views! Words can't fathom this level of communication that you both have for each other! Takes lots of maturity, mentally, emotionally. Thank you for yet another ravishing installment guys.
Wow Sesi Phetola🥺 i couldn't have said it better and am definitely gonna watch this with my boyfriend ❤I think how you observe things kinda relate with my personality. Thank you so much❤ Be blessed Makhs Family
I really see you guys being yourselves around each other. You guys are fun around each. Pheto always laughing at lerato's jokes❤️don't be too hard on yourselves. You are fine 🙂
Thank you for this family. It's been a couple of months since I got married and trust me it's not easy, I don't know how many times I thought to myself this is hard and maybe it's not for me. Especially adjusting to everthing that comes with it. But such conversations shows and gives me hope that I'm not alone and this is a phase we need to go through. I need to start practicing to give my husband more grace because he definitely is giving me so much grace.
This conversation was very vital not just in a relationship context, but as an individual I think it's important to introspect about who we are. I think I also have an alter ego and I relate to Mr Makhs that it's not necessarily because I'm "fake" or hiding something but it's just a matter of the environment and atmosphere I find myself in. This can be difficult because sometimes people take it as being "fake"or "they cannot read you". A human being is just complex in their nature and we continue to discover ourselves as we grow as well as experience different things in life. I must say you guys are wise, I loved the vulnerability and simplicity in how this was unpacked. I wish each and every person can watch this, there's definitely something to take from this whether as an individual or a couple.
I think the conclusion of it was the answer to all the questions. Grace from the Lord himself is what keeps a union together.
This is so thought provoking and I get where Aus Pheto is coming from. As she was talking about how it makes her wonder or how it makes her feel like Mr Makhs might be running away from accountability if he'll only do something's when the Mrs is not present, it makes me think hore na even if it's not about accountability but if someone is feeling like they can't be a certain self around their partner, who are they finding out there to express that self and What fruits will that outside "relationship" bare. It's a thought a balehisang mmele
😂😂😂I like how the editing was done towards the end- to remind us of what was said. Love you guys ❤️❤️
You are so right Pheto a lot of marriages fail at evolving. I'm really proud of you guys for having made it. I always say if people would allow each other space to evolve then they would stay the course. You are helping a lot of young marriages please.
I love how raw this conversation is...And it made me realise that I'm Lerato in my relationship and I need to have this conversation with my person. Thank You Family for this conversation. Lots of Love❤
Woow your guys are so honest,transparent 👌💓#over a decade in marriage and still have these honest conversation.
Guess it is true , marriage is a life time school where you never graduate..We will only be perfected when Christ comes
So so true. No point of arrival! Thank you to the DreamTeam for creating a safe space for us to have these conversations♥️
Dont change too much chief...She fell for you for a reason, certain things are better left unchanged.
A little ego goes a long way, especially with women👍
Absolutely loved this conversation! Phetola I get you lol! You know him sooo much that you know that side of him that is not your favourite BUT we can never know ANYONE fully so it’s really okay to hear someone else drop gems about their experience of your partner I think it’s also an opportunity to learn.
I love Phetola's humility in approaching this topic!
Good stuff for married people and for those who want to enter into marriage thank you guys I love you so much.
I definitely agree with what Lerato said. Controlling to me sometimes often feels like the only sensible thing to put in place in order to feel safe. Especially when you are sensitive to environmental changes or things. And for me,it often made me feel “perfect” like Aus’ Phet,when everything is under “control.” When things are not under your level of control, you often feel like things are imperfect.
Growth- accepting your partner starts with you accepting yourself.
Ey Mr Makhs always brings in fire important points, different perspective I didn't even think of🔥🔥🔥 being sensitive is really important
For the shout out fam for the shout out!!! 💃💃🙌🏾 I loved this installment, super real! Keep it up yall, God bless you 🙏🏽💛
This is my first time commenting on this chanel but i felt like i had to this time because although I'm a female, i can totally relate to Lerato's personality coz that is me 100% and i tend to be attracted to people who are more reserved than i am.
😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣 "coz there was no grace to offer" lhahahahhaha nma you make me laugh Pheto. I love the authenticity yall's are showing.
Please I love it when Phetola speaks Spitori
Same. Same.
I absolutely loved this conversation. I didn't realize that I defined how it looks like for somebody to love me and every time somebody was not responding in a manner that I felt was associated with love it made me question their intention. I would love for you guys to have part 2 of this video explaining how the idea of love was influenced by your personality is and your alter egos.
What a challenging installment,wow you guys are so authentic.This just shows that relationships are simply work in progress.As for grace from God & being graceful to each other is what makes a Dream Team💃💃💃.Ndinithanda intwende❤💕❤
The Makhs really really appreciate this.May God continue to use to revive our marriages. So I have meaning to talk to my hubby about something bothering me in our marriage and I was going to go about it the wrong way. I truly believe God is using you to Minister to our marriages. I'm literally listening to this installment again. 7years married and still learning
Foremost thing I love about your channel is genuineness and truthfulness in your conversations. Am learning from your experience.
Phetola is such a genuine person ❤️ ❤️ I am exactly like hubby 😅 personality is all over sometime and i loved how he unpacked it, i relate so much
This was a tough conversation, very thought-provoking. Thank you family for your transparency and for sharing your journey, I am constantly learning from your conversations.
Im glad that when you guys decided to be together together it was final, ngoba yhooo what u went thru are what ended most marriages, because they could not communicate their unhappiness in the relationship. Like talk about your issues it could just be the other person is not aware that who they are to you at that point is offensive, its what they know, they don't know any better.
Wow this convo is so honest and it’s bringing up so many conversation thank you 🙏 for your honesty you are the best 🥳🎊
All I know is you are both aware of how different you are, and having such conversations “closes” that gap while maintaining your uniqueness. We learn every single day, we evolve, we grow, become wiser, most importantly we grow in our walk with God, we know He has a sense of humour, and we laugh at ourselves, we laugh with Him, that’s the freedom we are blessed to enjoy! We know we don’t have to stand only in a certain way (attention/salute!!!! type of standing🤣) to earn His love, and that’s the beauty of life in Him, we loosen up and don’t carry any weight on our shoulders! I just love how you guys talk this serious issue with love and maturity. I love what God is doing in your life and through your life. No one can deny the love you guys have for each other, I loved when Lerato said something around being sensitive over what his wife is sensitive about. Ohhhh sweet Phetola, Daddy Larry is definitely coming your way and this time it’s not gonna bother you, God has prepared you for your hubby’s different personalities😇🤣
What a fulfilling instalment I think in a nutshell we need to stop having ideal partners in our minds and rather get to know our partners what we actually have before what we imagine them to be.
The minute I saw the notification, I just came running🥺❤️❤️❤️🔥
Nna le wena 😂😂❤️❤️
I love how you attack the Issue and not each other and the respectful and mature manner you handle misunderstandings, no relationship is perfect however you make a Singular like myself yearn to be in one,Thanks Lerato le Aus Phetola ,spreading love from Cpt.
Was sooo shocked with my lil brother 1 time around his friends. I was like... who is this guy? I see it in a lot of people around me. My personality is like that of Pethola. People tend to be serious and be collected around me. Then out there, be different people. I get Mr Makhs
I don't usually comment in this channel. I must say I'm inspired everytime I watch your installments. You are doing a great job Mr and Mrs Makhetha. Keep doing this because we are learning and becoming better partners. I'm praying for you ❤️
I love you guys sooo much...may God continue to bless and protect your marriage 🤗
Always be encouraged to make instalments guys because we need you guys! We need you! We need you during study breaks and when school is showing us flames 🤣😂
Guys your topics are ALWAYS 👌
Your channel offer so much value and if married couples could feed on your content, divorce can be minimised. Thank you so much 🥰
You guys are so real and transparent❣️hard conversation which needs to be had..not always easy...thanks the Makhs💖
This was a personal attack to me yooh😢i love how honest,raw,authentic this conversation is... you are so relatable thank you for this loved it❤
This is so interesting bcz I have always felt Lerato had many layers but was measured here ho rona 😃. You too though Pheto. You have mentioned losing it a coupla times but here ur the sweetest most mature and patient person kikikik. I mean we know in front of the camera we all are a character to a degree. But with each other you guys need to be your m 💯% selves! I get the impression you are though. Especially wena P.
Daddy Larry yena aowa 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣.
Ps. I have a friend who has been married for over ten years. I think it’s 13 now. We sing together. He’s very shy and reserved but is funny and goofy and wa phapha with us (the singing group). I remember his wife once saw him like that and was asking us hore “what did you do to my husband, I have never seen him like this”. 😂😂😂😂 We were all shocked bcz that’s the version of him we knew and we couldn’t imagine him not being able to be freely like that at home!
Hahaha tell us how counselling goes guys lol. We need to let each other be ourselves even if it’s unfamiliar or uncomfortable. Let’s be curious about each other instead of letting our fear lead us to ultimately being God-forbit control freaks.
I think you can be good radio presenters..... I really appreciate your content, honesty and good choice of words. ooooh and you are so respectful❤❤❤❤
Thank you very please!!! My new favourite phrase! 😂
The key of acceptance is everything. There's a book I love so much by Tim Lahaye called Why you act the way you do and the Spirit Controlled temperament. It helped me because it delves deeply into the strengths and weaknesses of our temperaments and most of the times our spouses won't do things the same way we do. I think Sis Pheto is melancholic/choleric and Lerato sanguine. (I'm just guessing here😂💗)
I need to first confess that I hate “couple content” - ga ke kwane le “advice le di tips” from couples and and lol🥴
This video came up as a suggestion and I am glad I didn’t skip it. Truth is it’s hard to be “yourself” around the people in our lives, this includes our parents even.
I totally loved how frank, yet respectful this conversation was. I love how you both listened to each other and gave each other a chance go ncha whatever was mo mafahleng😂🥰
All the best with everything guys and may your channel grow🌸
It the “ga Ke kwane” le advice😂😂😂. We get you completely! We try not to give advice but share from our own experiences. We hope you come back for another video♥️♥️♥️. Thank you for the kind words🤗
Fam! This installments are a big, big help! Like yoh! Words can't express how grateful I am for them as they help alot. This one in particular hits home. I am going to give more grace, understanding and give room for growth to my fiance. 🤗 And am definitely sharing with him.
Here’s a thought 💃🏾💃🏾💃🏾
One thing about extending grace to the next person, you also become gracious to yourself too, ngoba you need that grace the most so you we can sto projecting those insecurities and controlling tendencies. Mna I love growth shame, it comes with so much freedom.
I love how you handled this. We are learning.
Yeah no,this is pure gold❤
It’s how Phetola folds her arms when Lerato started talking 🤣🤣🤣
This was your best discussion yet.
Feel like sending Pheto a voicenote because wow I GET YOU GURRRRL🥺😅
It’s the Mlando for me 😂.
Whom the Son sets free is free INDEED! Wherever Lerato is, the Holy Spirit is there and where the Spirit of the Lord is there is LIBERTY. Set the bird free and the Holy Spirit will keep him in check. It is a lot of work to keep a watch on someone's behavior especially in your absence. Don't quench the Holy Spirit. I always tell my husband that I only have two children not 3 him being the third one. When there is something that he will do and it will shame me the Holy Spirit will let me know. Such things takes away your focus from Heavenly things. You are a good thing that Lerato has received from the Lord and Heaven did him a favor(Proverbs 18:22). I love the on the spot transparency between the two of you knowing very well that you are watched, much respect to you guys. Beautiful things.
I love how authentic your conversations are.
I am 19 and I enjoy the installments so much. You guys inspire me so much ♥️♥️May God continue blessing your union🙏♥️ I've been here since day 1 but this is my first time commenting 😂😭
Catching up with the Makhs and the Love, the honesty and homely feelings engulf me 🥺❤️🖤
So much learning in This Podcast 📌
Here for Phetola's hair 😍😍😍
"Just put your seatbelt on??"😂. That cracked me up 😂
I love you guysss. I've learnt that there's so much strength and maturity in having honest conversations, and you guys do just that. Thank you for keeping it real.