Breaking Through Denial: The Key to Emotional Healing

Acknowledgment is an important step in healing. But, deep healing requires us to go deeper, into the emotional aspect of what it means to acknowledge and accept.
In today's video, I share more on what no longer denying our wounds actually means… what it looks and feels like. I share a significant example from my own life as well as some other ways it can show up.
I also share insights on why acknowledgment is the first step towards healing, how denial can show up in sneaky ways, and practical steps to validate your experiences without falling into negative thought patterns.
Remember, your feelings are valid, and acknowledging them is an act of self-love. It's time to embrace your journey, wounds and all.
Are you ready to break through denial and step into your healing power? Let’s connect in the comments. 💖
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[@clairemagnifico7237]

I also have cPTSD and have really been struggling lately but I'm feeling I'm starting to break through to the other side.
I'm also an 'empath' (veterinarian) ( I don't particularly like the word empath), highly sensitive person, score highly for introversion and am an IFNJ to boot. Also parentified child.The points Peggy makes here very much resonate with me. I acknowledge that I have been in denial about the emotional effect my childhood had on me, am learning to go back and feel the feelings that were entirely appropriate for me to have as a child in that prolonged period of psychological abuse and stop gaslighting myself and invalidating my own experience, instead of maintaining the disassociation with keeping busy or numbing out with alcohol. It's time for me to take care of me.

[@PeggyOliveiraMSW]

Yes! It is absolutely time to take care of you. ❤️ What you've described is a great example of how denial can show up and the impact it can create. Thank you for sharing your experience. I'm so glad you're experiencing some of what it feels like to reach the other side of healing. Thank you for watching.

[@AnalyticalAddict]

Hi Peggy!
This video packs a lot in, thank you!
I think I might need to comment separately on different aspect it.
I think I’m finding myself stuck on the idea of accepting a feeling without trying to DO something with it.
To keep rolling with the birthday example, “my feelings are hurt because they forgot my birthday.” There is something in that statement that intuitively makes sense as to why that is hurtful, right? For example, I wouldn’t feel the need to ask my kid why that makes them sad.
However, when you’ve grown up feeling the need to explain why your friends forgetting your birthday is hurtful, the ‘meaning making’ seems to occur as automatically as that intuition might for most. ➡ “My friends forgetting my birthday hurts my feelings BECAUSE it makes me feel like I don’t matter to them.”
From there, I’d be inclined to ask myself about the accuracy of that statement- if it’s true that you don’t matter to your friends, the feeling might be judged as “valid” ➡ feeding into a negative core belief. Or a healthier option ➡determining that you need to find some better friends.
But if there is evidence to the contrary, you’re intellectualizing and talking yourself out of the feeling, right? ➡ “Of course, I matter, my friends aren’t great with remembering these things” (or whatever the case may be), thereby invalidating the emotional experience.
My work might be in that, if the latter is true, and I had acknowledged feeling hurt and spent time feeling sad about it, I know that at least here, there would be judgement about being foolish for not knowing better and “buying into” something that I had no evidence for. But I can circumvent this if I explore the actuality around the situation that led to the feeling, which sure seems like a better option. But also, may just be epic rationalization…
Am I missing something in there? Because it feels like I might be…
Thank you for your videos, time, and presence. You are so appreciated! ❤

[@PeggyOliveiraMSW]

I'm not sure I can answer this well here but, I think part of the struggle might be that , with denial it's not about whether you're correct or what you feel is valid. That can be an important process with overall worthiness and healing. But, with denial vs honoring, it's just about recognizing what you feel (hurt they didn't acknowledge your birthday) and not judging yourself for how you feel. Not telling yourself you shouldn't feel that way because "my y friends aren’t great with remembering these things" or telling yourself you need better friends. It's simply allowing the feeling (or thought) to be there without judgment or talking yourself out of it. Thanks so much for sharing. ❤️

[@teres1523]

NOT true with CPTSD. I have been in therapy , relentlessly for 20 something years. The traumatic brain, sometimes just keeps repeating the same stories WITH OUT any resolution, even if you already reframed them, felt them , analyzed them, etc. You can heal what you don't feel is not applicable for CPTSD. My personal experience. 😢❤
So is not resistance or denial is Just after you have explored everything about the same stories there is an inner knowledge that you are way more than that. You pass to another level of healing.

[@PeggyOliveiraMSW]

I'm sorry this has been your experience. ❤️ I'm not sure I completely understand what you're saying is not applicable.? From my perspective, healing really isn't about exploring the same stories and definitely not reframing or analyzing. It's a process of undoing and dismantling so you can connect to your truest self which requires a multitude of practices over time.