I was really, really wrong.
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- Опубліковано 29 чер 2024
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chapters:
0:00 - My Apology
5:53 - The TRUTH about my past
Thank you for all the kind comments ❤ to those who insist on seeing me in the wrong light let me clear the air: I am not addicted to anything except nicotine again. Which I am in the process of tapering down and stopping. If you saw my day to day life you’d be shocked. I spend time with my kids, I workout, and in the evenings I do art. I paint. I presently take psychedelics twice a year. My life is very, very different than you are assuming. Please stop thinking you know who I am.
If you want proof just look at the amount of “live experience” videos I’ve posted this year where I’m seen testing something.
I’d appreciate if you stopped making assumptions. Thank you.
Prove the naysayers wrong. I know you can do it. Be well.
Make some painting videos and show your art. Drugs are lame. We all die there is no need to rush it.
@@going2flip agreed about the art! I'd unironically love to see Adam's paintings! I just want to see him succeed so bad, man. 😭
don’t even give the haters your time of day adam peace and love ❤️
Its alright, you don't have to take anything to entertain us! The trip sitting videos, the accuracy reviews, the interviews, and the informative videis are plenty.
As an addict, listening to this dude rant is like looking in a mirror when I try to justify my own bullshit.
Cheers.
This video feels like a rant I have no idea what his point even is
facts
@JazzerciseJustice he's reinterpreting his past experience and judgment of kratom use for whatever reason: to not alienate a growing demographic of kratom advocates or to justify current/future use who knows..
As addicts we have hypemen or lawyers in our heads to empower our relationships with substances... whether its to garner strength to obtain sobriety or to negotiate further use.
Sounds like one of those was given a mic for this video. Not judging, as I'm the last one who has any place, but just saying...
Best of luck to all dealing with addiction, I feel ya.
He’s lost
YUP. This isn't the first time he's made a vid like this, either. The cycle continues...
Adam….. I mean this in a healthy loving caring way. You’re an addict. We lie, blame, divert, distract, manipulate, coerce, codepend, bait and switch, gaslight, substitute one for another, minimize, ect. It’s not the Kratom. It’s us. We could be addicted to actions, feelings, substances, states of being, thoughts, money, pride, compliments, tears, the emotional rollercoasters, the withdraw, the highs. We are just this way. Accept it. Understand it. Get you a support system away from this stuff. Learn your triggers and manage your emotions without caving to addiction. Take it all one day at a time.
Well said 👏❤️
I support this comment.
I don't understand this mindset. Why can't he know himself better than we know him?
Why can't he actually not be to blame for his relationship problems? Or are you trying to say that drugs no matter what drug, or anything, drugs just will destroy your life?
Because that's pretty much what this sounds like.
as much as i think that this is valuable advise, i don't think that this comment relates well to what was said in the video.
or do you think that he's lying through his teeth and he's actually fiending for kratom every second of the day behind the scenes? because thats what it looks like what you think to me
Interesting to see his addiction as it evolves.
"I was only doing it two to three times a day" my dude. Everyday? That's addiction.
That is a bit of a weird thing to say "only" you hear addicts say this often to justify their addiction.
Exactly man, for the past 2 years, I drank every single day, and i justified it to myself by looking at worse people around me.
You can’t get hammered every day, that’s not a sustainable life
You can’t take an opioid 2-3 times a day, thats not a sustainable life.
I hit rock bottom and from that day on I knew I needed to take the first step, I told myself I was going to only drink on the weekends, I successfully did it the first week, and the second week I just continued to drink throughout the week, justifying it to myself over and over.
When It came around to be ing Sunday, I told myself that this was the fork in the road, I could either get back in the train, or there likely wouldn’t be any opportunity to do it again until I hit the bottom again, so I did it.
I didn’t drink on the weekdays for one week, then 2, then 3. And by the time I got to 3, I felt like I had a lot of work behind me,
you hear the saying “it only takes 3 weeks to break a habit” I took that and used it as determination, that was the hard part, this is the easier part.
I have now gone 7 weeks in a row doing this, I have given in a few days here and there, but unlike every other time I’ve tried to actually limit my drinking, I have something to show for it.
I am 7 weeks in a row not drinking at least 3 days out of the week (Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday nights) and generally only drink Friday, Saturday, and Sunday nights)
I’m aware that my fight is far from over, but now I am fighting, and I am winning.
I have a reminder in my notes app that shows exactly how much money a month I save by not drinking during the week, and I have the number of calories I don’t consume every day I don’t drink, +$450 a month and -1500 calories a day, that’s a lot man.
Remember guys, don’t trick yourself into thinking what you are doing is ok, admit you have an addiction, set a realistic, but significant goal you want to achieve, and never give up.
You can’t quit half-assed-ly, if you are going to free yourself, you need to actually want it. You need to want it more than the substance you want, and once you want it,
Never, never, NEVER GIVE UP!
IT DOESN’T MATTER IF YOU FAILED FOR 1 WEEK STRAIGHT, 2 WEEKS, 3 WEEKS, IT DOESN’T MATTER! THERE IS ALWAYS TOMORROW! EVERY DAY IS A NEW OPPORTUNITY TO FIGHT!
YOU HAVE THE POWER!
NEVER GIVE UP!
@@adamtrott78 kratom is nothing like alchohol alchohol has the potential to ruin your life Kratom doesn't get you loaded like alchohol it's like caffeine not really unhealthy or bad just addictive. You're projecting my guy, and I'm an addict that's how I know you are.
Thats not alot compared to others ive seen. Ive seen people take 20 to 30 grams a day. Its still addiction but its not THAT much
@@adamtrott78 GET IT BROTHER
Fellow addicts understand this video more than most. Keep fighting, be safe, take some breaks, and god speed.
This used to be an educational channel about the effects of drugs and safer consumption.
Now it's channel about a guy's life spiraling out of control due to drugs.
And tbh I'm here for both types of content.
Lmfao
💯
It is an educational and REAL/truthful channel about drugs and personal perspectives. We've lost the way in taking things with a grain of salt. His life has definitely spiraled, but he's in a much better spot, at least my opinion, in this video. He's been through a lot and his symptoms have come from not healing along his journey and not having self-love. His generation specifically may have missed out on that way. I am fortunate to learn from him and rectify my mistakes before they went to his level and learned a lot, whilst not agreeing with him wholeheartedly, but seeing his message through his words and emotions.
kinda fucked you would get amusement out of someone spiraling. I suggest just to take a different perspective and understand how heavy it is to not have love in your life (or at least feel it when its been given to you). He's done a lot of great things, but his commentary has always been him trying to "know" about each and every thing he talks about so he will make mistakes and misinterpret. That's where you looks between the words and see how he's being real/truthful, and showing us HIS experience. We can learn tons from this documentation alone.
@IchigoMatsumoto1889 he doesn’t follow his own advice because he hasn’t ever had a less is more approach.
What’s an example of bad advice? I think harm reduction wise he has alot of good info. Even if it is limiting
@IchigoMatsumoto1889 dude's a fucking muppet.
As your involuntary therapist, I'm sending you a bill for this session
Great comment
😂😂😂
🤣🤣
You clicked the video and watched it so maybe not so involuntary haha, but I enjoy the joke and agree lol.
@@talibanchristian I voluntarily clicked to watch but, had no expectations of the resulting therapy session. Haaaha.
I know this mans addicted because he can never imagine his life or his future without drugs. They're cool, but you NEEDING them is an addiction.
Can you imagine life without drugs? (Keep in mind that caffeine and nicotine are drugs)
My dude Adam makes more apology videos than any other content
It's good❤❤
And each one contradicts/apologizes for the last one.
Fr😂😂😂😂
@@TheOceanBearer holding out for the final one where he apologizes for apologizing all those apologies.
It's because he is a raging hypocrite. He can't admit to being a poly addict. He tries to say some drugs are bad, some aren't. While that is true, it is possible to get addicted to anything, whether it is inherently addicted or not. He is a poly addict. Whether it be psychedelics, kratom, or whatever the fuck, he feels the need to always be taking something. I understand the therapeutic potential of psychedelics, but some people just need to stop all drug use, and really re-evaluate what they are doing with their life.
This man’s life keeps me away from substances😭
Lmfao
Harm reduction indeed
You're clearly not vulnerable to addictions then :) tho everyone is on some level.
simping for his ex I see
His life kept me away from dangerous substances. Life is way to much like life when you're sober.
At least i can be somewhat safe while doing so.
what you describe with Kratom is called Addiction, my man
I rather be addicted to substance that helps me than substance that dont. And nothing from my doctor has ever helped.
@@nosiiskylla4889I hope you find another solution to your problems
@@nosiiskylla4889it’s all about moderation and proportion and trying to keep it as clean as possible
@@nosiiskylla4889 I think everyone addicted to a substance thinks it’s helping them.
@@nosiiskylla4889 or just try to not be addicted to anything. constant intense highs and lows are not good for your mental state.
It’s crazy I started watching this guy in highschool and looked at him as the psychedelic teacher. Watching this guy now.. let’s just say I’m glad I straightened up a bit. Man went through a crazy downfall that I’m scared of falling into myself
Same here. I used to think psychedelics are these amazing drugs because of youtubers like him glorifying their use. Then I got severely damaged. The truth is they are dangerous drugs. LSD screwed me up more than powders or any other drug ever did. I'm still recovering years later. I wouldn't wish this upon my worst enemy.
Do psychedelics have "some" benefits? Yes
But the risks far outweigh the benefits.
Psychedelics are the only drug I wish I had never tried.
@IchigoMatsumoto1889
yup, drugs are no joke
I've never been too interested in drugs, a very casual weed smoker plus the odd shroom trip; Always just thought he had kind of an amusing channel with interesting anecdotes and an unusual perspective on life... then one day he just went way overboard with shrooms, rationalised it like he had an addiction -- that changed everything for me.
It's been very educational, just not in a way he probably intended it to be.
He is a psychedelic teacher. He has gone through the pathways of understanding harshness of substances due to lack of healing and self-love.
Here's a fun thing you might hear for the first time (if you're borderline retarded that is): people that are very interested in drugs tend to be ... not happy with life.
Mental and psychological issues leading to depressive personalities tend to be orbiting around drugs as a mean to cope or find solutions or solace.
In short: i'm not sure this dude had a "crazy downfall due to drugs".
Also, he looks pretty functional despite the mental hardships which is something he should be proud of anyways.
I'm here for the message, AND I'm here for the video in 6 months saying the opposite thing.
Next week: “Kratom ruined my life”
You’re just like me man… an addict through and through. I’ve kept up with you over the years and been on and off Kratom myself. Hoping you eventually find peace without harmful addictive substances you can’t live without.
Kratom definitely crushed my test levels. And the chronic constipation can cause anal fistulas. It’s a step stone down from harder drugs but I just don’t think it’s a permanent solution.
One day you’ll quit all this mental gymnastics and rationalization and have happiness brother…
I've been taking kratom daily for 10 years straight and my testosterone levels are fine. There's no empirical data that shows kratom lowers testosterone...
You may feel like it lowers your testosterone, but anything that has opioid agonist effects will make you feel more numb. It's not lowered testosterone, it's just making you numb.
This video to me is way more worrysome than the video on the mountain. This just sounds like "no, no, it's not the alcohol, it's me! I can keep drinking!"
I do think it’s possible to go from being hopelessly addicted to a substance to using it occasionally in a healthy way.
The thing is it is just as difficult as quitting cold Turkey, and it’s even easier to relapse.
It’s literally just discipline, wanting it deep down, and never giving up.
Simple to explain, very hard to do.
@@adamtrott78 its possible but extremely unlikely, and almost never for a longer period of time
Adam I feel for you man - what you're going through is hard, and I understand that you try to put a lot of your experience into the channel which is probably an additional layer of pressure. Don't forget to draw boundaries with the channel man, you don't owe us shit! Thanks for keeping us well informed on so many drug related topics all these years. What you choose to share is a gift. All the best with your journey.
Adam, I’ve been watching your content since I was 13. Im 23 now. Your old videos about lsd, mushrooms, and dmt got me interested in meditating and spirituality. Once I felt mature enough to dive into psychedelics, I had your content as a tool to stay safe while gaining eye opening experiences with these compounds that have changed my life forever. I feel at peace with myself and the world around me, and I tell people all the time that it seems silly, but psychedsubstance was the starting point to my spirituality and the exploration of myself. Thank you man. Your work has had a huge positive impact on my life and I just want you to know that you are making a good impact on this world with your content. Sending peace and love your way, always
Seconded this. You made a large group of young people aware of purity and conspicuous/safe consumption.
We all still wish you the best.
And even some of us old folk(48) watch for inspiration Adam. Wishing you well, cheers from New Zealand 🇳🇿
tf u talking about, this channel is like 8 years old
Listen to the people who recognize themselves in you. This video is flooded with comments from addicts, lovingly telling you that you are one too. Starting with this understanding and acknowledgement may be your first step on the path to recovery. Wishing you health and happiness.
After the last few years struggling with a kratom addiction that has taken way more than it has ever given me i can say "fuck kratom, no aplogies."
Ditto that. I went back to it last week, just for a week, and quit on Friday. It’s been 3 days of that nightmare of withdrawing from it. Life just numbs down immediately when you live on Kratom, and then hurts and depresses when you’re getting off of it.
Yeah, his problems might not be because of kratom, but this plant is serious stuff, and muddies all your life up without you even knowing
i can not relate. It might make "healthy" people feel worse, but I am someone with extreme trauma in my past, and I used to be suicidal. I can honestly say kratom saved my life, as Adam said, it numbs you. Some of us start by being broken, and we need this numbing. I am just very glad I could quit weed, benzos and strong alcohol ( I was at one bottle of vodka/day at one point). Kratom took away my cravings for everything else, numbed my psychological pain way more than antidepressants every have, and even my psychiatrist is amazed of how I turned my life around and managed to build my own business and brand. All this thanks to Kratom. I can understand the double sidedness of Kratom, for some it´s a downfall, for others it´s a saviour. The key is: don´t take kratom for fun if your life is perfect, but if you start off as an addict with no hope for anything, kratom might be just what saves you. Many of us quit worse drugs with it´s help
It's not like that for everyone
That’s called addiction buddy, to a T!
right lmao, what he said about the mountain video just sounds like excuses to do shit
"Made me feel held in a way". That may be the root of it! I think we weren't held enough as kids.😢 May we all go out and hug someone because we all need to be held, if not just for a minute❤
😢
i feel like this guy apologizes every other month
Its cringe
Adam my bro, when your first words are" the whole reason my relationship fell apart had nothing to do with taking any substances", maybe take a step back to look at how that substance is affecting your life. If you're having to stop taking it and going back and forth to it several times then that should scream to you that there is a problem and those problems are interfering with your family life in ways you possibly don't even see because you're in active addiction. You need professional help. It can do nothing but help. From Kratom to candy bars, people will develop problems and attachments to a lot of things. You're minimizing your problems with these substances to this extent and that again screams addict. You're basically idolizing Kratom, this "Kratom community" and acting like its some harmless thing when, for you, it's obviously not. I wouldn't be apologizing to a fricking plant or some strangers on the internet. I'd be apologizing to my little girl and to my wife(if you want them back). Keep doing what you're doing and live with it or admit you have a problem that you cant fix yourself. Get the help you and your family deserve. Wishing the best for you brother, please get professional help. Go to NA. More therapy. Family counseling. Go all out. Its worth it. You and your family being happy together are worth it
The Kratom issue is a touchy subject…because while there are some obvious indictments against it…it doesn’t mean it should be illegal. The Kratom community just wants to keep it legal and let people make the choice what to do with their own body. It would only make the black market and cartels all the more powerful. I haven’t taken Kratom in about 6 years btw.
@@clinteastwood6875 of course the Kratom community wants it kept legal. It's a drug and they like it. I've spoken with ppl that smoke weed and they swear smoking it is nothing but beneficial, absolutely nothing negative about it. Inhaling any kind of plant matter is not totally good for you but they like the drug so they're blinded to the negative aspects of it because its their DOC. They like it and dont want to see it go.
I've been watching this guy a long time, I do like most of his contest. But he sure does end up all over the place a lot of the time. It's almost like taking massive amounts of every kind of substance known to man isn't a good idea or something.
A casual person just viewing the titles of his videos can tell the drugs drive substantial emotional instability in his life.
I’m glad you are seeing this now. I’ve been following this journey for about 4 years now. This is the clearest I’ve seen you and wish you the best
Adam is the definition of “look over there! Don’t look over here, everything’s fine.”
"Daily drinking isnt a problem for me! I only do 5-6 beers before driving, there are so many more hard liquors out there. Also the overdose potential is so low on 3-4 beers and the hangover isnt bad either. People who dont drink everyday dont get it. Im so sorry beer community"
@@M0nkeyMang did he really say that and was this serious?
@@ominousmvp395No it's a joke about how he described Kratom in this video
@@adamgreenhill110 Kratom is literally nothing. Adam isn't the first person to blame this mild drug for problems completely unrelated to it, there are entire communities around this stuff, for all sorts of things.
@@joexer1 Fair, I know nothing about Kratom. Just explaining what the other comment was about
I'm in the same boat man. I've been taking kratom for 4 years now and I'd be lying if I said the pros are worth the cons of daily use. At one point I was a huge advocate for it and was even getting involved in the legality of it and was contacting public officials on behalf of kratom organizations. A year into taking it I saw the cons. But I wasn't drinking myself to death anymore and I was the most "sober" I had felt since a teenager. It gave me the confidence to be more social and to take on new ventures. I went from a guy who avoided all responsibility to a guy with a house, a family, a car, and all of the obligations that come with acting like an adult for once. It became my morning coffee. It became the thing I had to do before I made any major choices. I attributed my growth to kratom and that is horrible thing to do with a substance because you will find so many ways to justify excessive use (nothing like the insane amounts I've seen people mention taking daily on reddit). It's not a kratom problem, it's a me problem. And I'm glad you çame to the same conclusion. Some of us just aren't able to have a healthy relationship with distractions. I don't even realize I'm turning something into a vice until someone points it out most times. Thank you for always giving us your honest experience regardless of where your head is at any time.
This is where i jump off....i went into a popular Kratom chanel and shared that i had never done it before, had a history of addiction and was just thinking about trying it....THEY ALL SAID DONT GET STARTED....youre just rationalizing...this is a dangerous message ...these "ah ha" moments are seeming like "harm induction".....sorry pal...just being honest
Yeah I'm getting the same vibes
@@selfidolizationI'm sure the comment wont be up long...lol
i know you might not see this adam but ive grown up watching you and this video really spoke to me in an oddly synchronistic way. Really grateful for ya man you will be in my prayers.
dude ! same !!!! i thought i was the only fuckin one man . then i found your comment .
"A lack of love," yup that's where all the disfunction happens not only in a personal level but also in the bigger picture...very insightful as always, thanks for clarifying Adam, sending lots of love and good vibes your way 🙏💜💞❣️
Man… so much of this is so familiar to me, I feel for you man, what you’ve said here reflects so much on things I’ve been through in life. Keep your head up, you’re doing a good job.
Brave to point the finger back at yourself. Respect
When you point the finger, 3 point back at you
He’s been pointing the finger at himself for like 5 freaking years now though it’s time to start, ya know… just growing up
@@ralfnuggs165u clearly didn't even watch the video lmfao. He's human and subject to failure like u.
What? Did we watch the same video??
@@ImWithMeexactly what I’m thinking 🤔
I saw the title. Then I saw the first section was labeled "my apology"
Finally, he must have realized the pain and suffering his childish ways have caused... or so I have though
In my wildest dreams I wouldn't have thought he would apologize to KRATOM
Adam you are a living parody. I couldn't make this shit up if I tried
Dude I know it’s insane. I kinda started watching because I am a former heroin user who started out experimenting exactly in the manner Adam was in the beginning and the morbid part of me wanted to see the train crash.
This video is absolutely ridiculous. Worst thing is look at all the comments, encouraging the guy, when drugs have literally destroyed his life and keep doing so. Very sad. I hope Adam gets better eventually, instead of having these great “revelation” moments every year
He literally cannot fathom that he is closer to a full blown tweaker than a mentally stable and capable man, who is a provider/protector/teacher. Which with his success and creativity he clearly could have obtained. Although the comment so far if you were to read it - would anger you too much to listen to this advice. Do some extreme fasting to try and repair your body and brain, then restart a new with god through a spiritual father, i suggest Father Spyridon if nothing else. Prayer and fasting is the only chance you have to fix your mind and spirit..
i got off hard drugs by smokin weed and just living life
man you’re the reason I was so safely able to go on my psychedelic journey, you really helped me a lot, we’re all human living a human experience, which means making mistakes, learning and growing
😐 I'll be honest with you, take a break. I've been watching you for YEARS. We all lean on things hard and I get it. Go do something that makes you genuinely happy and feed that inner you.
At which point did I say I’m taking tons of drugs? I didn’t bro. I appreciate the concern but if you saw what my life actually looked like on a day to day basis you’d be shocked. I’m not what you think. I spend my time with my children, I workout, and in the evenings I paint. I think I will make a “day in the life” video to clear things up.
@@Psyched.Substance the title of your video is “I was really really wrong”. Your response to this comment shows you are still unbalanced. Going from one extreme to the next. Saying it’s was kratom that was to blame. Now saying you didn’t have love. Constantly grasping and shifting blame. Maybe the truth lies in a little bit of all of it. Don’t ever expect to have balance doing a channel about drugs and using drugs. Seems like you go back to mentioning your children. Regardless of how you provide for them financially or energetically. How must they feel subconsciously knowing there father was in a relationship where he didn’t feel loved. Kinda seems like a one sided blame like you didn’t feel loved. What’s her side of the story. Come on quit fucking around and grow the fuck up. You are lucky and privileged trying being humble and thankful it will go a long way
@Psyched.Substance you don't need to your channel has been built around this portray we need a man who knows what he's doing lol
@@Psyched.Substance no offence Adam but you did say you have come out of a swing of addiction at the start of this video
@@kelaniparkinson3939 i read 'swing of addiction' the exact same time he said it on the video. Wild coincidental timing.
New psyched substance apology video just dropped. LEEEETS GOOOO
Thanks very much again for this personal inside! It really really does help alot of people those kind of videos including myself Adam. Have a good day and feel free to let us know what's on your mind. I think it's such a unique niche this kind of personal videos thanks for letting us be a part of this ❤
Guy who thinks drugs are fine realises that drugs aren't always fine, believes he is better than every person who ever got addicted to opioids
@@KonekoPurrrfection I'd say he has some good advice for people who are going to do drugs regardless of his advice, however I do think that he's pseudo grooming people with these videos, encouraging them to become the type of people that he will later have sex with-- there are a few videos where he's putting alot of sexual energy into guys who clearly aren't gay.
It takes integrity to admit fault or past errors within ourselves. Much respect to you sir!
Thank you! If I’m sure of anything in my life it’s that I’ll keep making mistakes.
@Psyched.Substance just because mistakes are bound to happen doesn't mean we can justify letting our guard down friend. As an ex heroin addict you should start somethin else before it takes ahold of you more.
@@Psyched.Substancebut making mistakes isn't something bad. In fact, it's just one way we learn new things. I'm thankful for any mistake I did in life.
And watching you growing older and wiser definitely wasn't a mistake :)
Here we go again. Speaking from one addict to another, until you learn to fully take responsibility for your actions as an addict and be fully ready to use that accountability and be done with it you’re only going to keep going back to it over and over again. I just noticed a common theme with your past admission and apology videos where you never seem to fully take accountability for your own actions that lead you here, nor did you seem to be in the headspace of being fully done with it. So that explains how we got here. I really hope this time is genuine and I would really suggest you seek out inpatient or even outpatient rehabilitation to help you learn how to take that accountability properly and finally get clean for good
He doesn’t think his drug use is damaging, so he won’t.
@@gonza360 yup! As soon as I heard him making excuses for Kratom again and “apologizing” to it for giving it a bad rap I knew it would be all downhill from here. I was horribly addicted to Kratom after using it to get off opioids and the withdrawals from it are absolute hell. He’s lying to himself and everyone else claiming it’s mostly harmless with no bad side effects. Chemical dependency and addiction is a side effect dude!! He just keeps flip flopping from one extreme to the other without ever actually getting the point and getting help. He needs to stop making apology videos and GO TO REHAB!!
@@joshuah.4496getting off Kratom improved my life significantly
Dude im glad you realized all of this. Not that it really bothered me, it was obvious you were going through it like we all do. But for your own sake I am very glad you've made these healthy realizations bless you man hope you have a fantastic life
I feel like Adam is repeating the same cycle - he's stuck in his singular Samsara.
Adam, it's time to become a Jedi.
or a Christian
Christianity does more harm than good in this world. Getting out of it was the best thing I’ve done for my life
being someone coming out of a stage of trauma and depression, it is so easy to blame yourself and not even be aware that you’re doing so. keep your head up adam, you’re strong.
Kratom helped me get through so much anguish in a very tough time in my life, but like all drugs you have to respect it. It gave me several months of being able to get through the horrible life circumstances I was in, and I ended up paying for that with about a week of discomfort getting off of it. That was a worthy trade to me.
Wish you nothing but the best man! Thank you for sharing your storys. Watching your videos for many years now, it was always inspiring, and partly guided me on my way from struggling on a daily basis to loving (nearly) each day of my life. You are doing great work, and I appreciate that and your honesty. Everyone makes mistakes, and has struggles and obstacles to overcome, but it's hard to talk about that in public, especially when you're still in the process of figuring out how to get past these challenges. You showing that process of reevaluating and questioning your positions, is of great help for at least some of the people watching. Greetings from germany, thank you for your videos, hope your path brings you happiness and peace!
Dear God did I need to hear this! I don't have any substance abuse issues (and for a good bit now, no substance use at all ... caffeine included) at all but hearing what you had to say about control and blame spoke to my soul!
For the I-don't-know-how-many-ith time, thank you for what you do!
I really hope whatever your struggling with you get through it if I hadn’t found your videos when I started using substances me and all my friends would be strung out or dead somewhere
You must live in a brain dead state
big facts
Yeah this is a solid channel! I first learned about testing kits even existing, from Adam. This is a valuable channel. Stay well, Adam & everyone else! 💪❤
Absolutely amazing story man, glad you're through it!
the intro hit so close to home 😂😂💯🤦♂️ rooting for you bro 🙌
"The reason my relationship fell apart wasn't the drugs"...think maybe the drugs and relationship fail have the same reason?
Aspire loves me
Every day/week/month/year I realize how dumb I used to be in the last one. It never ends...
@@pricklycats retweet
He had to talk about it cause the the comments are just crazy. Haha
Some call him drug addict, others are happy he is better haha
💯 on pho nem
Before youre trying to convince us you dont have psychological dependency on substences try to make sure that you have convinced yourself, because its pretty clear youre doing some mental gymnastics on yourself to make it look like its ok and necissary for to keep using substences that the psych didnt precribe.
Adam I relate to your struggles a lot. I have a lot of compassion for you and I am very grateful for all that you taught me many years ago. I hope you find peace.
Mistakes are meant to be made, Adam. That's how we grow as people. Failure is the greatest teacher. Glad you're not as hard on yourself and that you're better now. ❤
100% agree! ❤✨️❤️
Thanks!
Saying "sorry" to a drug doesn't seem sane ;D
We're constantly learning. Appreciate you sharing your realizations!
You make me anxious man! I just want everyone to be happy and healthy :C i really hope things start going well, allowing you to heal enough, so when the next bad time comes around, you can survive easier without sunbstances!
I haven’t used any substances in like 4 years but I watch your videos because you’re real and I relate to a lot of the things you talk about.
Good to hear from you again!!
Am happy to see that you corrected yourself and am also happy that you see that you didn't give yourself enough love, I recognise where you been and know that is hard. We love you adam ☺️
Hey Adam! I just wanted to drop in and let you know that I recently just went through rehab for my addiction to Kratom. It’s tough. I’ve had my ups and downs too. You’re not alone! 💜
Damn I'm happy you're happy Adam, sometimes people just don't match, and sometimes they realize it too late. So they try to fix everything, with no changes. But eventually everything gonna be alright. Ur good bro
Thank you for opening up finally. You got a good vibe going in this video it's kinda what I needed today.
Thanks for being open and sharing your journey. Embracing accountability is a key part of responsible drug use.
Props to you for being vulnerable when you dont need to, to share your experiences with strangers on the internet. The fact that its met with anything negative speaks to those people and not you. Mega respect and appreciation. I dont think i could really do what you do with social media. Lots of love.
Man, my fellow Adam. I’ve been going through similar struggles for a long time. Recently, I’ve been using edibles to cope with anything I was/am afraid of! It’s HARD. But we gotta be better to grow as people. I’m proud of you brother!
Thanks for sharing bro. You seem much “lighter” now. I also struggle with being way too hard on myself. Just remember you’re doing the best you can, & that is enough.
The vilifying aside, great video...I relate with you on so many levels. Thank you Adam for always keeping up your hard work!
Much respect to you, Adam. Thank you for sharing and its wonderful to hear that you are being kinder to yourself. Much love ✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️
Kratom is bad man, I finally was able to quit it after taking it for 5 years and my life has changed magnificently in a short amount of time. Please avoid using it unless you're taking it get off of harder drugs. It will turn you into a boring emotionless zombie eventually.
Being able to change one's opinion, especially publicly, is an increadibly difficult thing to do and is an indicator of true wisdom!
Publicly changing one's opinion to one more closely aligned with public sentiment is quite literally one of the easiest things one can do. And it's certainly not wise, there's a reason we teach children to resist peer pressure
This is an addict justifying reintroducing drug use - he's lying to himself.
Thank you so much for everything you do. Recently, I began using substances for the high. However, since finding you, I am trying to use these experiences to repair my life, not just have fun. As cheesy as it sounds, you have helped me live my life more openly. Truthfully, I originally thought all this harm reduction stuff was a YT scam to get views, but I was pleasantly surprised. During an unpleasant experience a few nights ago with :blank-substance:, I remembered how you said the trip doesn't have to be scary, and after I remembered that, I had a more eye-opening experience than I had initially anticipated. In a way, it was comforting to know that something so small can easily knock your life out of balance unless you are in control of it, and I think that reflects something about the way I approach my own life. So again, thank you Adam.
I just remembered your channel and watching that one video on the mountain. That video was so heartbreaking, but I'm glad your back! I appreciate the transparency and the educational value your channel brings, but also... just remember to take care of yourself.
We’re here for your journey my dude.
Why? Like why do you care to know what happens in his life?
@@shaggydude1226 Don't be rude he was being supportive. A lot of us have followed Adam for years and are invested in his story.
@JohnTitor20361 I asked why, is that rude?
@@shaggydude1226 why do people watch anything... also yeah a lot of people here care about adam.
@oxymwro you're answering my question with another question I'm not trying to poke a bear... you're question doesn't answer mine either. I was just asking.
I've been waiting for this video... Glad you're going better.
It’s always so good to hear from you Adam! Glad you’re doing well buddy.
Love you for all the good you’ve done. Always enjoy seeing you still around!
It's really nice to see you being more compassionate with yourself! Thanks for your vulnerability throughout all of this Adam ❤
Getting very manic vibes from this one - and a healthy dose of denial and blame shifting. Hope your doing okay dude
He’s not sadly
Yeah this ain't the first time he's uploaded a vid like this.
glad to hear of your increasing self-love. love is an energy to be tapped from within.
Daily kratom use often has a horrible kind of impact on social behaviour and all emotions. It is VERY DANGEROUS for the psyche
What do you mean by this 😳 I've been taking it for 3 years, daily. Large amounts, lol. I used it to get off hard 0piates
I've heard some ppl have taken it for a decade & been fine. Just curious what you are describing 🙏🏻
@@JaseekaRawr sounds like it is a great help for you, everyone reacts different. When I was using my emotions were absolutely overdriven leading to some severe downs. I did some really strange and some very antisocial things and often felt like not having any control in what i do or how i behave. I was a totally different person and gladly got back to my actual personality when i stopped using
I couldn't find a way to express myself because my emotions were not mine and my face was numb and I couldn't act natural. It was horrible, almost like having a mind with no body plus a body without a mind. Also my thought processes were weird and unlogical
@@JaseekaRawrMe too. I’ve a recovering heroin addict who struggles with major depression. When I got sober, I wanted to off myself. Kratom has helped me get through life.
I was able to get off SSRI’s. I’ve never felt such a dark depression in my life until I got sober. The only problem that it has given me is hair loss. Do you notice losing more hair on it?
Its so incredibly special to have you talk about all of this. From the very beginning you have shared all of your feelings every time even when they were extreme. And every time youve updated and either changed your mind, learned more, had diffrent experiences. And you come back stronger every time.
You're ok Adam. You're going to get through this. Stay positive and keep going forward, you got this 😊
“i felt powerless to make a change” that hit hard. adam if you’re reading this just know that even though i don’t know you personally i have empathy for you and i appreciate you for being so vulnerable. thank you 🫶🏽
I honestly saw this coming, I’m glad you see the reality for what it is now and you’re moving on.
Omfg. You think this video is a sign of health and growth? This dude is toxic af. And anyone who doesn't see that is either gullible of toxic themselves
Damn man, all that hits home real hard for me. I'm still struggling to get my mind right and I've been so guilty of taking excessive amounts of kratom for YEARS now just to give myself some sense of feeling okay when all it does is make me feel even shittier about myself for just trying to escape instead of confront all the things I refuse to accept I have no control over.
Hey I will say this taking kratom is WAY BETTER than taking anything else. I’ve been stuck on suboxone for YEARS and I am so depressed. Kratom actually makes me feel better than subs do. I get my confidence back and I’m just happier as long as I keep the dose on the lower end. I’m not advocating it or saying stay on it, I’m just saying don’t beat yourself up to bad. Maybe just try and lower the dose a bit or something.
Have you ever tried getting completely sober?? This cycle will never stop if you dont.
@@aaronmiles2802I’m actually not. I educate people on these substances. In reality I am a family man who spends his time doing things such as painting over drugs. My use is extremely limited tbh. I should make a “day in the life of” and shock everybody.
I’m not in a cycle anymore. Did you watch the video? I also don’t see my past use of Kratom as detrimental. I was being too hard on myself. The reasons for me taking it and the doses I was using had no negative impact on my life. I was simply wrong.
As for alcohol I don’t drink. There are no substances which I take regularly/habitually. I don’t even trip more than twice a year. You guys have no idea who I am.
@@Psyched.Substanceuh huh suuuuure. You're lying dude.
@@Psyched.SubstanceI may lie to myself but this is another level Adam😂😂😂😂😂.
I'm glad you've gained some peace and clarity. You seem like a weights been lifted off of you. I think a lot of people can relate to being in a loveless situation and trying so hard to squeeze happiness out of it and make it work despite everything
Bro. I’ve been saying this since I started watching this guys videos. He has done the exact opposite of what he set out to do, he set out to end drug stigmas and instead confirmed what most people already thought. I experimented with acid and almost cooked myself, was doing it monthly bc I heard you could take it every other week and be fine. I almost lost myself, then I saw this guys videos and realized there are things the human body simply isn’t supposed to be exposed to. Regardless of residual effects that you can chemically trace, there is a little something called “PTSD” and it’s a whole load of shit that it’s treated by psychedelics. This guy has scarred himself. And until he is completely done w this shit he won’t even realize it. It’s fucking hard to watch but I hope what he’s doing isn’t in vain and the viewers realize acid and shrooms, dmt ETC. unfortunately, should be a temporary drug maybe even a one time use drug IF THAT.
I agree man, I've tried both acid and shrooms once, didn't even have a bad experience but I'm just completely done with psychedelics forever. Just the thought of something potentially being able to induce permanent psychosis and alter your reality forever is terrifying. I used to admire these psychonauts, and think about what other psychedelics I would want to try but nah man I'm good. My sanity is too important to me
Lol. I am 55, I have taken LSD about 400 times, between 1994 and 2009, I have smoked altogether between 15 and 20 grams of DMT, and done a broad scala of other, less well known phenethylamines and even obscurer substances, and have not had ANY damage whatsoever. The problem is when people take these psychedelic substances to escape reality, to be sedated, to cause some sort of personality change, or to "attain enlightenement". The substances are expected to cause the change, when in fact the only thing that can enact that change is you yourself, as the user. When you face your darkness, your fears, when you accept yourself as you are, when you realize that YOU yourself are the pilot of the body, and that you are the only one who can change yourself, the danger disappears, because you no longer fight yourself through these substances. It is YOUR mind. We aren't spectators of what our minds do to us, we are in charge. Expecting the drug to be responsible for whatever happens to us, is needlessly giving away autonomy.
Drugs are like candy. If you can keep yourself ftom binging on them/it, and listen to the signals of your body, you get the feedback needed to effectively retake control over your body/mind. It is all about taking a step back, accepting yourself, and stop chasing a goal or expected result. That is when food ~not toxin~ of ANY kind becomes a useful tool for managing, steering and maintaining your physical vehicle, as it were.
@@dervishmadwhirler yeah you sound fuckin fried, everyone please read what they said as evidence of my point.
And by "food", I mean ANY substance that is not directly toxic. When you dose ANYTHING at a sub-toxic level, and that means just food as well, don't get me wrong, because overeating or eating the wrong foods at the wrong times, and even just ANY binging is again just giving away bodily autonomy, and losing control over yourself.
@@dervishmadwhirlerthis comment should be pinned on every single youtube video about psychedelics
We love you Adam! ❤ Seriously, we do! Bless you ✨️💕
yo i just wanna say you are a very real person who has an honest and genuine heart. you've helped me through so much and i thank you for that. without you my trip would've gone south fast and hard. but you taught me to let go and to just be. also sharing your experiences gave me even more insight as of what could happen and that really put me in an open mindset which is always the best mindset to have.
Sending positive vibes of love and kindness, Keep keeping on Adam. The best is yet to come.
It’s great to see that you processed the majority of what happened to you. I like seeing you back at your fullest potential🙏
PsychedSubstances: Drug Addict Case Study
i just hope you are okay. i have seen all the ups and downs over the past 10 years or so. you will work it out. i trust in you. love from Germany
I hope you are well for anyone dealing with addiction out there you are loved
every time he makes a video he completely changes the story almost completely, this guy lies every time he speaks. is nobody realizing this? its like every time he completely re-writes his story everyone eats it up every single time.
I’ve changed my opinion on Kratom. The only thing I lied about has been discussed - I lied that drugs had anything to do with my past relationship failing as I clearly pointed out here. As stated in the video - the reason I lied was that I wanted to take accountability for things falling apart. I blamed myself, I blamed my use of things like Kratom as reasons my life wasn’t in order.
In this video I break down how I was wrong to do that. The fact is, I was in an extremely unhealthy relationship with no love. I was trauma bonded. Instead of seeing clearly that I needed to exit said relationship I used Kratom as a scapegoat and attempted to claim it was the reason things weren’t working out to gain some control over my life.
The truth is things weren’t working out because of how I was being treated. I didn’t want to accept this. To accept it I would have had to leave.
So of course it’s going to look like I’ve taken a 180. I’m finally seeing straight. My trauma bond is broken.
This is what addiction experts mean when they say, "Even when they're telling the truth they are lying".
@@Psyched.Substance I hope I'm wrong, from my perspective you just seem very manic depressive, ive followed you since i was maybe 18 or 19, just this year it seems like you have been uploading, deleting. rewriting things constantly. It gives your audience the impression that something else is going on or we arent getting the actual story. Yeah it was a wild time so it might just tend to end up like that regardless however I dont know you so i obviously am not aware of the actual situation but, I think you should hang back from airing your dirty laundry for the world to see, it's not healthy and not a good look. yes it educates but you need to worry about yourself foremost.
The thing with kratom is back then you were saying how you were a hardcore addict to it, nitrous, adderall, putting a lot of stress on how it completely destroyed everything and you'd waste hundreds of hours just in that safety bubble, it looked legit to me because ive been there for 8 years and only just now got clean. That exact thing happened to me. now you are saying you werent even doing it that much and it wasnt having that much of impact on your life. those are very different things,
i dont think you are straight up lying like my comment implies in a manipulative way, i just think you keep flip flopping on what you believe, I used to unknowingly stretch things and delude myself constantly trying to figure out just what the hell was happening to me, I'd dig myself a hole repeatedly, always coming up with new reasons and it would just leave me in some sort of self created hall of mirrors or whatever, it was hard to find the actual truth.
Please do not forget how bad this stuff can be. It took me so long to realize what my problem actually was because all the things I would tell myself throughout the years. My point is changing the opinion on kratom can set a serious, serious booby-trap for yourself down the road, speaking from experience here. Sorry for the schizophrenic scatterbrained reply that probably has no real point behind it haha.
Relationships can really screw you up just as much as drugs, glad you broke free from it. hope you are good, and I hope you got life by the balls now.
Watch through his older videos as well as the ones on his other channel, he’s spoken many of times about his drug and alcohol abuse and the story is different every time. He is trying to do damage control and it’s not working. Actions speak louder than words.
Yup. It's a never ending cycle.
Drugs are such a touchy topic, and as an educator, I'm sure it makes you feel like you need to be right about everything all the time. You're only human though, just like the rest of us. Thank you for taking us on this journey with you- Much respect.