You’re thinking about having a relationship. But maybe you don’t have the time or you haven’t met the right person. But that doesn’t mean you don’t desire to have one.
Exactly, some people think that we refuse to be in a relationship due to the unrealistic expectations set for the relationship but it isn't always the case. Unfortunately, meeting the right person was always harder.
Considering that after meeting someone, you can continue the relationship even through ups, downs, stress, and time constraints, is having a lot of time actually a necessity to starting a relationship?
It’s much better to be single than to be in a bad relationship. When I left my abusive ex-husband I stayed single for several years, focused on working on my own issues and attending therapy to understand why I would let abusive people like him into my life. Once I felt ready it was a whole different game, I felt confident in my skills and attitude that I would be able to avoid the ‘red flag’ people. Eventually I met and married my husband; we have a very happy marriage, 8 years now 🥰 it took 10 years and a lot of work on myself, but eventually I got there. I’m saying this to let you know it’s okay not to stress yourself out with a timeline - I needed all that time because I had a lot of trauma stuff to process.
it's much better to be in a decent-to-good relationship than to be single though. The biggest problem is that people think it's the other person's responsibility to make them happy. If you're not happy with yourself, you're gonna be unhappy whether single or taken.
Wow I needed this message I feel like it was for me 🥺😭 I’m going through alot l have so much trauma I’m not healed yet from a lot of things that had happened to me in my life 💔
Timestamps 1). You have unrealistic expectations 0:44 2). You have not fully addressed your personal issues 2:24 3). You are still emotionally attached to your ex 3:30 Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. 💙💙💙💙💙💙
I want another relationship so badly. But my last relationship made me realize I loved all the wrong people. I loved people who only used me. So, now I'm very cold and distant. But my heart yearns to be held again.
Now's the perfect time to look inward and figure out why you're attracted to the wrong people. Do this by exploring your insecurities, past traumas, attachment style, and the fawn response. And anything else you you think of, google it. When you can identify your issues and their roots, you can start doing the necessary work to heal and eventually learn to trust yourself not to fall into the same traps again. It's so important to be able to identify, value, and uphold your boundaries for when others try to push them. And if a person disregards your clearly-stated boundary once, call them out, discuss, and if they overstep that boundary again, and then limit contact or cut them off. You don't want someone who doesn't respect your boundaries. When you know you can take care of yourself this way, you can have confidence that you're able to handle dating again.
Same here, was used, can't show warmth.... I'm like isolated inside of me, even when there are potential partners waiting.... i just can't or don't want to connect. I hope you heal from this, and of course i hope i heal myself.
I'm ready to be in another relationship mentally, but right now I'm physically going through so many health issues that take up so much of my time and energy I know that I wouldn't be the best partner right now because I'm in pain all day everyday. It's not really fair because time is wasting and I'm out of my 20's already. I wish the healthcare system in the US was better, so I could get on with my life 😕
Same but i have self hatred. I haven’t felt love in a long time until a few days ago i felt love again. I saw this girl who i thought was attractive but I never found out her name. anytime she walked in my direction my heart started racing
I have connections with friends, but I know that I'm not over my last relationship as it's recently ended. I know that the other person was able to move on quickly and yet I can't. Part of that feels wrong as to why they could move and I couldn't. Even though I have deeper connections with certain friends, I know it isn't fair to them to move it forwards since I am not ready yet no matter if I want something more meaningful. I think I'm ready as a person, and yet getting over the past has been too difficult tbh. Some of said friends say they understand and yet it feels bad to say so. Like how do you know when you're ready and over someone else?
I don’t want one at all anymore hell I’m not even interested in sex either it’s all a waist of time to me now I’ve gotten to the point where if you take my kindness as a weakness I block your ass and delete you 😂
A Key Point to me is: *Why would someone want to be with you if YOU don't want to be with YOU* ? A partner WILL NOT SAVE YOU from whatever issues or insecurities you have. This may be harsh, But I think the best mindset about being IN OR NOT IN a relationship is like ice cream WITH OR WITHOUT sprinkles😂: it's a nice add-on, but it is NOT NECESSARY to grant you that internal peace & positive self-image you're craving. Romantic love is only ONE KIND of love. Seek to love yourself first, stabilize your life financially and emotionally, and be learn to be comfortable with who you are. I promise you that once you do this you will feel less needy and less lonely, and you will be able to enjoy life where you are, regardless of what you don't have yet. And when those things DO COME, it will be so much better!
I'm tired of waiting to get into a relationship and feel as if I've waited too long already, but ongoing personal issues and extenuating circumstances have continued to prevent me from pursuing one. In my case in particular, it's a no-win. This is one of too many cases where I have had no choice but to accept the unacceptable.
#2 is what really sticks to me I used to think that being in a relationship could solve my problems and get rid of my insecurities. But I found out that the opposite was true, the hard way. I ended up rushing things and things fell apart quickly. If only I knew this beforehand
Yep. I need to take care of business too, before giving it a go fr with someone. A certain someone, actually. But I need to know I'm not alone in that; I'm no joke or naive anymore. I just gave her a letter like an hour ago, along with something of mine as a symbol and amulet. Mustn't open the envelope that holds them until Feb 14, tho.
Unrealistic expectations can ruin a good thing before it has a chance. You'll never appreciate real life if everything you're after is something you saw on tv or social media. Behind the scenes footage and bloopers are real life. The highlight reels only capture the best moments.
"Relationships are not a solution to personal problems" . Life is hard and some people may not know how to deal with their personal struggles, relying on a partner instead and thinking all will be solved. But when someone gets into a relationship for the wrong reasons, it makes it difficult for it to succeed. When you're happy being with you, then others will be happier to be with you.
It's also important to note that rhis can be taken too far -- nobody is perfect and mental health issues shouldn't be taken as a life sentence to solitary confinement. It's about striking a balance IMO.
As someone who's first relationship ended horribly and lasted a month: its rough out here, sometimes it feels like you're ready but it's also possible to confuse it for just wanting attention (at least for me personally) it sucks but it gets easier with time.
More people than ever will just die alone. It's the harsh truth you don't wanna hear. Ever see the cost of marriage, a car, a house, a kid? A degree, your kid's degree, your kid's car? Yea no wonder more and more people just die alone. 😂
I always feel conflicted when videos say that you should work on yourself before entering a relationship. Now, I obviously agree that self care and self improvement are good things to do, but when people say you should work on yourself before a relationship, I always wonder what exactly they mean. Is there a point where you can say "Well, I've now improved myself enough to be ready for a relationship"? How exactly would you quantify that? For me, I have issues with self-esteem and feeling lonely in life, as well as anger issues, and aside from the anger issues, I know for a fact that my issues are at least partly due to the fact that I've never had a girlfriend. So, in other words, I genuinely believe that some of my problems would be resolved by having one. I also always hear people say that "I'd rather be alone than in a toxic relationship." Now, I agree with that, but for me at least, you know what's also true? I'd rather be in a HEALTHY relationship than be alone. Look, I know that rushing into a relationship is a bad idea, and that you shouldn't solely rely on a partner for happiness, but at the same time, not having a partner or a good friend is exactly why I'm, at least partially, not happy with my life. So to me, the "work on yourself" advice, while not necessarily bad, just doesn't completely work for me. Of course, while I want a relationship, I will take some time to consider the pros and cons, as well as try and work on myself along the way, and of course, I would still work on myself even while in one. Sorry for the long comment, I just really wanted to give my take on the "work on yourself" advice that many people give.
No, that’s a valid point, I’ve never felt sure about someone or even had a girlfriend either. I had a crush but never told them how I felt, and though sometimes I miss them, I try to move forward with the friends a have now. And though I may have few, it’s better to have one or two good friends than twenty bad ones. Entering a relationship to fix an internal trauma, trigger, or issue, isn’t a good idea. But there’s nothing wrong with making friends, or finding someone special who cares about helping you resolve that issue and comforting you through it. Just remember that it starts from within and the help they give should be appreciated and reciprocated. Hope this helps, somehow.
@@samc_cherterita That does help a bit when you word it like that. I do understand that using a relationship specifically to fix your issues is a bad idea, but at the same time, to me, am ideal partner would be one who is supportive of you and would even try to help you on your journey to improve yourself. Also, now that I'm thinking about from my perspective, I would love to help my (potential future) partner work on themselves, although I would hate to feel that I'm doing ALL the work and carrying the entire burden myself. Of course, I would also be heavily appreciative of any help my partner would give on improving myself, and I'd try my best not to take them for granted. So yeah, I see what you mean, and again, I would never enter a relationship with the sole and only intention being to fix my problems, but I still hold the idea that being in one would help quite a bit with them. Ether way, thanks for the reply! 🙂
I getcha for sure and I think the fear that can accommodate the, "don't commit to anyone if you have issues" comes from the false idea that you kinda have to isolate in a cave away from others while you work on issues until you're ready for someone else to join your life. I don't think there is a soul on this planet who trully has it all together and we definitely NEED eachother's support ESPECIALLY when we are dealing with mental health struggles. I think though, when you are dealing with low self esteem or depression or whatever, if something goes wrong in the relationship its really easy to internalize it and allow the relationship to define your self worth. In other cases, you can turn it around on the other person and blame them for your feelings of inadequacy which can hurt both parties. I think it's a really gutsy thing for someone to be upfront about their mental health issues when dating and I think it also opens up the door for sharing and emotional vulnerability in a relationship cause we all got our own demons. I think we all need to put our mental health first and take the time we need to heal and grow but also know that nobody is perfect and that's what makes us beautifully human. That's why romance works and why we crave it so much. We were meant for eachother. Flawed human to flawed human. 😊 ...but yeah, i get it, sucks to be left waiting around for it. Loneliness is a b*tch😅
You shouldn’t rely on your partner to resolve your issues, that gives them unnecessary burden that’s not fair to them. If they have to deal with your anger issues and toxic traits, they’re going to start feeling exhausted from the relationship. That’s why you need to at least be stable enough where you don’t lash out on your partner. Obviously people learn through experience and you’ll get better with each relationship. But it’s better to heal yourself before you put your baggage on others. Not everyone is perfect, everyone got something they gotta work on. Just don’t expect your partner to be your cure, and definitely learn to fix your issues if you do decide to get into a relationship.
@@Go90go90-q4h I do agree with you for the most part. Obviously, if I ever do get into a relationship, I'm not gonna just expect my partner to fix all my problems for me; like I said, I would still do my best to improve myself even while in a relationship. But also like I said, my self-esteem issues are partially due to not being in a relationship (as well as never being in one in general), but also just social anxiety in general. So I think I can safely say that being in a relationship (or even just making a friend), thus, interacting with someone on a regular basis, would help a ton. Also, my anger issues aren't so bad to the point where I would start screaming and verbally abusing someone for no good reason, so that's not a huge concern for me personally. Also, while I agree that I should work on my issues and heal myself before getting into a relationship, I also don't believe that you need to be perfect before getting into one either. Like many here have said, no one is perfect, everyone has some issues that they have and are potentially working on. So by that logic, no one should ever get into a relationship. I know that you're not saying you need to be perfect, I'm just providing my perspective. And like I said in my original comment, how exactly would you quantify your "issue fixing"? Is there a point where can definitively say that you are now "fixed" / "healed" enough to be in a relationship? If not, then by that logic, you will be waiting your entire life before entering a relationship, and by that point, it will obviously be way too late. Anyway, thanks for your reply as well. Sorry for the long response.
"Do you think you're ready for a relationship, or do you think you need more time?" I don't think when it comes to these things. I just start developing feelings for someone and then see what happens. I just think that waiting to be ready will make you less ready over time, as well as kill your desire. You need expereience for everything, but to get experience you need to do that everything.
Number two felt like the biggest one. But the problem is, at least with my self esteem, a good part of that comes from the fact that I’ve been rejected by every attempt at a relationship so far. It’s starting to seep into my friendships a little, too, seeing them interact with each other and/or their partners more than anyone interacts with me. It’d be nice to actually feel wanted, because my self esteem stems from the thought of, “Clearly nobody likes me enough to stick around or reach out.” Having someone show me they genuinely want to spend time with me, without me always having to ask first, would do wonders for my self-esteem. But you can’t make people want to spend time with you; you can’t make other people do anything, really. It’s a very vicious and disheartening cycle.
This video is SPOT ON, WOW! I know I’m not ready bc of my overactive imagination and my insecurities of validation… working on myself and I’m loving my single life day by day❤ I’m also nervous about reliving the same situation with a new person…
Romance is cool, but it’s not the end all be all. Friendships, familial relationships, and other types of relationships are just as special and awesome.
Lol this videos been out for only 17 seconds and there are already people saying "how is this so underrated" and "how does this only have 250 views". Fellas, just chill 😂
After watching this video I realised that I'm capable of getting into an official relationship for the first time what earlier happened wasn't one of it and I'm completely moved on as it's been more than a year to it. This video gave me clarity the points shared are so accurate. I've been feeling low and strange mood swings since past few months and that's bcz I want love from someone other than my family n friends. It's just at this point I feel I need someone and experience how it's like to be called someone's special. 😊❤
I agree with all of this. There's a caveat here too. Accept that noone (not even yourself) are perfect. You will slip into old habits when triggered, we all do it. Especially if you've been through trauma. The key is to be honest with yourself and your partner about how you feel. This video isn't saying suppress your emotions and that you should be 100% self reliant. This is about learning to acknowledge your individual foibles and triggers and already have a toolbox of mental strategies etc you can use when you have a psychological break. Yes partners can support you but here's the thing noone is anyone's crutch. That's unhealthy. Leaning on each other is fine but that's sharing the weight and responsibility therein. (Just btw I learnt this the hard way again and again so I'm no expert 🤣 I suck at relationships honestly 🤣) a couple that can slay together equally stays together. If you feel too unstable to accept yourself and learn to carry your baggage, think of it this way, that's like handing your partner all your baggage and expecting them to carry all that plus theirs. Is that fair and would they break their Back? If you work out a balance and are honest with yourself you might say, *Hey I am sorry I struggle carrying X thing, I'd appreciate the support" and then when your partner is struggling with something in their baggage, assist them carrying that and so on. Coupling is a partnership. If you love yourselves and each other you'll want to assist each other. You just have to not expect them to carry your baggage, that's yours but when you're struggling someone you love can take the weight temporarily allowing you to take a moment and carry it again when you're not off balance if that makes sense.
Agree on all but finding some1 whom is prepared to take all this emotional healthy awareness is non existent these days I think, most are stuck in survival mode after 2020!🦠+ With the ease OV online to connect+ hookup as easy as ordering a takeaway! I think a lot do not want to b emotionally aware! Who's says romance is dead!💩🫤
man...the worst feeling is when there's a little hint of chemistry, but you never get a chance to take out that person out or like you never see them ever again. life is disappointing sometimes, but that's okay. I'm not gonna play the waiting game anymore. if I feel that chemistry then I'm going for it. whether I get rejected or not. 💪😤
I'm ready to building love👍 Building strong relationships requires realistic expectations, selflessness, and a commitment to values like fidelity, honesty, and open communication. These pillars create a foundation of mutual respect and understanding. 💑 #RelationshipWisdom #CommunicationIsKey"
I had a relationship for 5 years and Im traumatized by narcissistic behavior because my ex made love-bombing,and he was being too clingy. As a result I felt too pressed and when I asked to break up he told me to make suicide.Moreover I broke up with him and after 2 years,I met someone else and we were dating.He was too enthusiastic,generous,kind but I saw red flags from both sides.For example he was pressing for commitment and in some situations I was thiinking about my ex's behavior.Because of that issue,I asked him to stop talking because I need some time to improve my boundaries and other issues.
Ha-ha, maybe it's just me, but I find that if I've been totally capable of addressing all of my personal issues, I would not like to have any relationships! The appeal of relationships, in my opinion, is that you combine your efforts while working on each other's and shared problems. It's great to have someone who does or understands something better than you and has your best interest in mind!
Aren't 1 and 2 contradictory? We need to have realistic expectations and accept our potential partner will have flaws but at the same time we need to make sure we don't have any flaws left before we start. I'm afraid if i have to wait untill all my issues are resolved i'm either never going to be ready or that by the time i will be ready nobody is going to want me cause my inexperience in love. It just feels hopeless
Love doesn’t have an experience requirement nor does it play any meaningful role. What matters in love is being there and caring for each other in a healthy manner
i felt like this before... but i had to marry my now husband to separate from my family due to toxic family relationship. it was affecting my mental health. and now i feel that i'm on the road to healing while having fun with my partner. he's not exactly the best type of person one could ask for, but he truly loves me and will always do his best to make me happy ❤
While I feel ready I don't intend to seek one out. A case of; if its going to happen it either will or it won't. I spent most of my youth seeking a relationship and feel rather done with being The Seeker now... we'll have to see.
My question is, what is considered "too high" of expectations? Because I know a lot of people say expectations are too high even when they are just simple basic things in a relationship and it can get confusing for people either like me or others who simply want a basic relationship without any supposedly high expectations attached to it.
I will say number 2 is standing out to me a lot. I personally am dealing with a lot of intrapersonal conflict, and I am trying to resolve it. However, that conflict will cause me to overthink and not make me trust my significant other fully.
I lost a person who I liked due to my unaddressed personal issues. She was in love with me but I couldn't get into the relationship because of the same things. I knew I had to find a solution to my issues but I couldn't cause I didn't have the resources and now I feel awful because of it.
I think they would love it if you just reach out. I was in the same situation, and the other person had personal issues. After we stopped talking I realised this, and I kinda wished he would talk to me about it. So give it a shot, if the other person is understanding they would accept it and give you a chance
@@colegracia2740 I did it. I apologize and everything but you know it didn't work out at the end. In fact I ended up feeling worse because of somethings she did.
@@Mariam-qu9hm Yeah. You sound like a really good person. Tbh I did what you're saying it didn't turn out well. I guess she took things personally and ended up taking advantage of how I was feeling atm. She basically took revenge so yeah. I mean I don't think I was so evil with her but you know the way she was seeing things were different from mine. Thanks for your comment 🙏🏽
I came to the realization that even though I want badly to be in a relationship I've not only yet to find someone I can fully connect with and understand me, but I need to work on me, I need to feel more comfortable in my own skin and my life, the problem is I have a friend that unfortunately can't seem to understand that even though I've explained it to them, I can't do relationships right now. It's a little frustrating, even if i care about them.
While you might want to deal with yourself before jumping in a relationship, with a good, understanding partner, you might be able to get past the issues and the partner was just helping you get there My crush isn't entirely over her childhood, but a partner might be able to get her healthy by dealing with the 'sickness' not the symptoms
I really only have social anxiety but that’s it so I’m pretty sure I’m good to be in a relationship the problem is that I can’t talk to people also because high school is brutal
I have never been in a relationship in my entire life of 23 years. -grow up in South-East-Asia. -have lots of cousins as friend as a kid. -only child -very polite, ask me for anything, willing to give everything. -get into a gang like friend group at the age of 12 or something. Feel like this is the peak of my life. (School system in my country ain't like in the west, subject teachers go to their schedule class and students stay in one class for whole school year. So I am friends with the whole class.) -moved to the USA at the age of 16. -Experience the west high school. (I didn't have time to get to know anyone really there. What popular in my country seem strange in the west. And my lonely path begin.) -And COVID-19 hit, Blah Blah Blah. I am 22. I feel depress when I am doing nothing, so I start going to gym. I crave friends. (sorry, my undiagnosed ADHD make me type the things above. Here is what I really want to say: back in my country, I am very happy with minimal stuffs(No 24/7 running water. No 24/7 electricity. Neighborhood fill with barking stray dogs and cats.) in the USA I got things I never had but lost my joy, my happiness, my purpose. (I need friends to do some stuffs together!!!!!)
When i read the video title, I`ve thought you made a video about me. This topic is totally me. I finally want to find the love of my life too because all of my friends did it but now I realized that it`s impossible to have a good and healthy relationship with me So i stopped trying. I hope i made the right decision.
I'm currently at the stage in my life where I feel like I don't need a relationship to be happy. Sure a relationship would have been nice but not necessary.
Curious to ask folks here: In some cases, could there not be some benefit to comparing a new partner to an ex? Like, considering "here's a quality my ex had that I realize I value in a partner" or even "here's a quality my ex had that I do NOT value in a partner." I would imagine such comparisons like this might in fact be helpful in entering a new relationship.
Imo, I just think comparisons aren’t good - but self reflecting and finding what you may or may not like is. A new person could have traits you might not know you value, and their bad traits might not show up until later. But a case of comparing an ex with a current partner I think implies the ex is still at least partially on their mind
Well I think about my ex and compare new people to him, but the only reason I do that is to look out for the bad signs he gave me. He has been the cause of a lot of mental problems and I don’t want to be friends or in a relationship with people like him.
I have to end my relationship 2 months ago. The tragic here is: No one Cheat oder harm the other one. We try it several times to go as a couple but everytime we ended Up the same :/ Long Story short. Its hard to end it while No one rly want. And much harder to accept it😢 To be honest, we never let pass much time before coming togehter again. Not more than 2 months. Now its more and every day is a fight:/ Its the right way to move on. Make experiences and evolve..May to Connect in the right way in the future. In the past there were broke ups too sadly. No one was easy but can handle it somehow with time und friend Support. But this time i cant handle it alone and go for professional help today. This lovely woman triggers something deep and i have find it. And may the reason why we didnt fit. Good luck to all you outhere.
I'm working my way through #2 via therapy and self-care. It's been a rough few years for me. Still, even if I was 100% ready for a relationship, it just doesn't feel like there's a lot of hope. The dating scene of today is so broken and awful, and considering I didn't have much luck even before the smartphone, social media, always connected era, it's hard to be optimistic.
I wish I had a choice but one day my human picked me up off the street, fed me, provided me everything I could ever need... But the connection isn't there anymore. Now I'm overweight, hooked on catnip, and trying to escape the house every time the front door is open.
I just want to love someone… and share my life with… it’s an insane need I have to show love to someone through romantic relations… in the first relationship I was in (sadly only lasted just under 2 months) I had never felt happier (this was 2 years ago, and I’m entirely over it), until a few months ago, when I went on a date and I felt like I was free from my loneliness… but that one date… shouldn’t have happened… cuz she’s been with a guy for a year, but didn’t tell me until after the date. I still like her, and she knows. But it’s a need I have to show romantic and intimate love with a girl my age. (Dw, she’s 21 I’m 22)
I think another important aspect of the point Unrealistic Expectations are UNSPOKEN Unrealistic Expectations. It can be bad enough when you just tell someone they should do something they don't want or can't be able to fulfill. It's a whole other beast when you assume they already know that this is expected of them, and get mad when they don't meet them. Instead of explaining what you were hoping for and hearing out their explanation. It can also be helpful to get a second opinion, ideally not from a person raised under your exact same circumstances. Just to ask 'who of us was being unreasonable here, or do we just need to be more clear about what we both want?'
Out of everything I saw here, I think I’m alright except for #2 🤨 I don’t want to have to rely on someone else to feel validated, so I think I’m better off waiting for now
I honestly want a relationship because the idea of love I have never had a successful one. I want a girlfriend not to this void but for the big picture of creating life and kick the worlds ass…
After all Ive been trough in life. I'm looking for a perfect person. Complete package. My ex-fiance died of cancer when he was 23 years old..I'm so not ready to date..😢
I've been betrayed by my first ex-girlfriend and one of my last girlfriends, and I always get this feeling that I'm just not ready. One of my other ex-girlfriends was a little more understanding when we broke up because she understood I just wasn’t ready, so we moved on. I've moved on and now I'm trying to focus on myself and what I'm wanting. Sometimes it's better to stay single, so I'm just used to it. I still feel lonely without a girlfriend sometimes, but I know I can’t dwell on it too much. As I said I'm just trying to focus on myself.
I want to ask a guy out, but I'm worried that if we do start dating I won't be able to send as much time as I want because of university and work. To me time=effort=I love you, so by not having time I feel distant. But I don't want to loose him either
HEY GOOD MORNING MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY I HAVE TO SAY THIS TOPIC IS ME 💯 PERCENT, I DO WANT A RELATIONSHIP, I'M TRYING TO WAITING FOR THE RIGHT WOMAN, I GUESS I HAVE TO. PLEASE KEEP ME IN YOUR PRAYERS, HAVE A BLESSED DAY 🙏💯💙💪🙊🙉🙈
You’re thinking about having a relationship. But maybe you don’t have the time or you haven’t met the right person. But that doesn’t mean you don’t desire to have one.
Exactly, some people think that we refuse to be in a relationship due to the unrealistic expectations set for the relationship but it isn't always the case. Unfortunately, meeting the right person was always harder.
But you just said there's no "right person"
What? That’s what the video talks about, you don’t have to repeat it. We understood the first time.
exactly;;
Considering that after meeting someone, you can continue the relationship even through ups, downs, stress, and time constraints, is having a lot of time actually a necessity to starting a relationship?
It’s much better to be single than to be in a bad relationship.
When I left my abusive ex-husband I stayed single for several years, focused on working on my own issues and attending therapy to understand why I would let abusive people like him into my life. Once I felt ready it was a whole different game, I felt confident in my skills and attitude that I would be able to avoid the ‘red flag’ people. Eventually I met and married my husband; we have a very happy marriage, 8 years now 🥰 it took 10 years and a lot of work on myself, but eventually I got there. I’m saying this to let you know it’s okay not to stress yourself out with a timeline - I needed all that time because I had a lot of trauma stuff to process.
it's much better to be in a decent-to-good relationship than to be single though. The biggest problem is that people think it's the other person's responsibility to make them happy. If you're not happy with yourself, you're gonna be unhappy whether single or taken.
YES!
Wow I needed this message I feel like it was for me 🥺😭 I’m going through alot l have so much trauma I’m not healed yet from a lot of things that had happened to me in my life 💔
Thank you❤
that’s just wonderful. I’m glad you managed to go through it
If you go to a grocery store hungry, you will grab the wrong things. Same thing with relationships
Timestamps
1). You have unrealistic expectations 0:44
2). You have not fully addressed your personal issues 2:24
3). You are still emotionally attached to your ex 3:30
Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. 💙💙💙💙💙💙
Thank you so much for this
Why do these videos come out at the exact time I'm thinking of the topic 😭
I tick all three, nice
@@Woeisme2same here . I was thinking about it and this video suddenly pop up .
Thank you 😊
I want another relationship so badly. But my last relationship made me realize I loved all the wrong people. I loved people who only used me.
So, now I'm very cold and distant. But my heart yearns to be held again.
Now's the perfect time to look inward and figure out why you're attracted to the wrong people. Do this by exploring your insecurities, past traumas, attachment style, and the fawn response. And anything else you you think of, google it. When you can identify your issues and their roots, you can start doing the necessary work to heal and eventually learn to trust yourself not to fall into the same traps again. It's so important to be able to identify, value, and uphold your boundaries for when others try to push them. And if a person disregards your clearly-stated boundary once, call them out, discuss, and if they overstep that boundary again, and then limit contact or cut them off. You don't want someone who doesn't respect your boundaries. When you know you can take care of yourself this way, you can have confidence that you're able to handle dating again.
Same here, was used, can't show warmth.... I'm like isolated inside of me, even when there are potential partners waiting.... i just can't or don't want to connect.
I hope you heal from this, and of course i hope i heal myself.
May i say, you are a very intelligent person. You should be a counsellor
I feel that. I also want to finally find the love of my life but i know it won`t happen.
I'm ready to be in another relationship mentally, but right now I'm physically going through so many health issues that take up so much of my time and energy I know that I wouldn't be the best partner right now because I'm in pain all day everyday. It's not really fair because time is wasting and I'm out of my 20's already. I wish the healthcare system in the US was better, so I could get on with my life 😕
I desire relationships but not now. I just need to be healed
I feel yah
Same but i have self hatred. I haven’t felt love in a long time until a few days ago i felt love again. I saw this girl who i thought was attractive but I never found out her name. anytime she walked in my direction my heart started racing
@@despairingdandelion1069indeed!!
I have connections with friends, but I know that I'm not over my last relationship as it's recently ended. I know that the other person was able to move on quickly and yet I can't. Part of that feels wrong as to why they could move and I couldn't. Even though I have deeper connections with certain friends, I know it isn't fair to them to move it forwards since I am not ready yet no matter if I want something more meaningful. I think I'm ready as a person, and yet getting over the past has been too difficult tbh. Some of said friends say they understand and yet it feels bad to say so. Like how do you know when you're ready and over someone else?
I don’t want one at all anymore hell I’m not even interested in sex either it’s all a waist of time to me now I’ve gotten to the point where if you take my kindness as a weakness I block your ass and delete you 😂
A Key Point to me is: *Why would someone want to be with you if YOU don't want to be with YOU* ? A partner WILL NOT SAVE YOU from whatever issues or insecurities you have. This may be harsh, But I think the best mindset about being IN OR NOT IN a relationship is like ice cream WITH OR WITHOUT sprinkles😂: it's a nice add-on, but it is NOT NECESSARY to grant you that internal peace & positive self-image you're craving. Romantic love is only ONE KIND of love. Seek to love yourself first, stabilize your life financially and emotionally, and be learn to be comfortable with who you are. I promise you that once you do this you will feel less needy and less lonely, and you will be able to enjoy life where you are, regardless of what you don't have yet.
And when those things DO COME, it will be so much better!
Yes!! So glad this helps you! Thank you for your extra support! ❤
I'm tired of waiting to get into a relationship and feel as if I've waited too long already, but ongoing personal issues and extenuating circumstances have continued to prevent me from pursuing one. In my case in particular, it's a no-win. This is one of too many cases where I have had no choice but to accept the unacceptable.
Same 💔
Well said. 💯
Sooo true and it sucks to b in this position
God showed me I wasn't ready for a relationship. It sucks to let her go. But I'm slowly getting over it. It sucks but it's a learning lesson
#2 is what really sticks to me
I used to think that being in a relationship could solve my problems and get rid of my insecurities. But I found out that the opposite was true, the hard way. I ended up rushing things and things fell apart quickly. If only I knew this beforehand
Yep. I need to take care of business too, before giving it a go fr with someone. A certain someone, actually. But I need to know I'm not alone in that; I'm no joke or naive anymore. I just gave her a letter like an hour ago, along with something of mine as a symbol and amulet. Mustn't open the envelope that holds them until Feb 14, tho.
Unrealistic expectations can ruin a good thing before it has a chance. You'll never appreciate real life if everything you're after is something you saw on tv or social media. Behind the scenes footage and bloopers are real life. The highlight reels only capture the best moments.
"Relationships are not a solution to personal problems" . Life is hard and some people may not know how to deal with their personal struggles, relying on a partner instead and thinking all will be solved. But when someone gets into a relationship for the wrong reasons, it makes it difficult for it to succeed. When you're happy being with you, then others will be happier to be with you.
That stood out to me as well.
It's also important to note that rhis can be taken too far -- nobody is perfect and mental health issues shouldn't be taken as a life sentence to solitary confinement. It's about striking a balance IMO.
As someone who's first relationship ended horribly and lasted a month: its rough out here, sometimes it feels like you're ready but it's also possible to confuse it for just wanting attention (at least for me personally) it sucks but it gets easier with time.
More people than ever will just die alone. It's the harsh truth you don't wanna hear.
Ever see the cost of marriage, a car, a house, a kid? A degree, your kid's degree, your kid's car?
Yea no wonder more and more people just die alone. 😂
first relationship lasting a month? How did you not see the redflags from yourself or your significant other?
same situation for me dude
@@greenleeaf111 13 days for me lol but it was online so what can you expect
I always feel conflicted when videos say that you should work on yourself before entering a relationship. Now, I obviously agree that self care and self improvement are good things to do, but when people say you should work on yourself before a relationship, I always wonder what exactly they mean. Is there a point where you can say "Well, I've now improved myself enough to be ready for a relationship"? How exactly would you quantify that?
For me, I have issues with self-esteem and feeling lonely in life, as well as anger issues, and aside from the anger issues, I know for a fact that my issues are at least partly due to the fact that I've never had a girlfriend. So, in other words, I genuinely believe that some of my problems would be resolved by having one. I also always hear people say that "I'd rather be alone than in a toxic relationship." Now, I agree with that, but for me at least, you know what's also true? I'd rather be in a HEALTHY relationship than be alone.
Look, I know that rushing into a relationship is a bad idea, and that you shouldn't solely rely on a partner for happiness, but at the same time, not having a partner or a good friend is exactly why I'm, at least partially, not happy with my life. So to me, the "work on yourself" advice, while not necessarily bad, just doesn't completely work for me. Of course, while I want a relationship, I will take some time to consider the pros and cons, as well as try and work on myself along the way, and of course, I would still work on myself even while in one.
Sorry for the long comment, I just really wanted to give my take on the "work on yourself" advice that many people give.
No, that’s a valid point, I’ve never felt sure about someone or even had a girlfriend either. I had a crush but never told them how I felt, and though sometimes I miss them, I try to move forward with the friends a have now. And though I may have few, it’s better to have one or two good friends than twenty bad ones.
Entering a relationship to fix an internal trauma, trigger, or issue, isn’t a good idea. But there’s nothing wrong with making friends, or finding someone special who cares about helping you resolve that issue and comforting you through it. Just remember that it starts from within and the help they give should be appreciated and reciprocated.
Hope this helps, somehow.
@@samc_cherterita That does help a bit when you word it like that. I do understand that using a relationship specifically to fix your issues is a bad idea, but at the same time, to me, am ideal partner would be one who is supportive of you and would even try to help you on your journey to improve yourself. Also, now that I'm thinking about from my perspective, I would love to help my (potential future) partner work on themselves, although I would hate to feel that I'm doing ALL the work and carrying the entire burden myself. Of course, I would also be heavily appreciative of any help my partner would give on improving myself, and I'd try my best not to take them for granted.
So yeah, I see what you mean, and again, I would never enter a relationship with the sole and only intention being to fix my problems, but I still hold the idea that being in one would help quite a bit with them.
Ether way, thanks for the reply! 🙂
I getcha for sure and I think the fear that can accommodate the, "don't commit to anyone if you have issues" comes from the false idea that you kinda have to isolate in a cave away from others while you work on issues until you're ready for someone else to join your life. I don't think there is a soul on this planet who trully has it all together and we definitely NEED eachother's support ESPECIALLY when we are dealing with mental health struggles. I think though, when you are dealing with low self esteem or depression or whatever, if something goes wrong in the relationship its really easy to internalize it and allow the relationship to define your self worth. In other cases, you can turn it around on the other person and blame them for your feelings of inadequacy which can hurt both parties. I think it's a really gutsy thing for someone to be upfront about their mental health issues when dating and I think it also opens up the door for sharing and emotional vulnerability in a relationship cause we all got our own demons. I think we all need to put our mental health first and take the time we need to heal and grow but also know that nobody is perfect and that's what makes us beautifully human. That's why romance works and why we crave it so much. We were meant for eachother. Flawed human to flawed human. 😊 ...but yeah, i get it, sucks to be left waiting around for it. Loneliness is a b*tch😅
You shouldn’t rely on your partner to resolve your issues, that gives them unnecessary burden that’s not fair to them. If they have to deal with your anger issues and toxic traits, they’re going to start feeling exhausted from the relationship. That’s why you need to at least be stable enough where you don’t lash out on your partner. Obviously people learn through experience and you’ll get better with each relationship. But it’s better to heal yourself before you put your baggage on others. Not everyone is perfect, everyone got something they gotta work on. Just don’t expect your partner to be your cure, and definitely learn to fix your issues if you do decide to get into a relationship.
@@Go90go90-q4h I do agree with you for the most part. Obviously, if I ever do get into a relationship, I'm not gonna just expect my partner to fix all my problems for me; like I said, I would still do my best to improve myself even while in a relationship. But also like I said, my self-esteem issues are partially due to not being in a relationship (as well as never being in one in general), but also just social anxiety in general. So I think I can safely say that being in a relationship (or even just making a friend), thus, interacting with someone on a regular basis, would help a ton. Also, my anger issues aren't so bad to the point where I would start screaming and verbally abusing someone for no good reason, so that's not a huge concern for me personally.
Also, while I agree that I should work on my issues and heal myself before getting into a relationship, I also don't believe that you need to be perfect before getting into one either. Like many here have said, no one is perfect, everyone has some issues that they have and are potentially working on. So by that logic, no one should ever get into a relationship. I know that you're not saying you need to be perfect, I'm just providing my perspective. And like I said in my original comment, how exactly would you quantify your "issue fixing"? Is there a point where can definitively say that you are now "fixed" / "healed" enough to be in a relationship? If not, then by that logic, you will be waiting your entire life before entering a relationship, and by that point, it will obviously be way too late.
Anyway, thanks for your reply as well. Sorry for the long response.
"Do you think you're ready for a relationship, or do you think you need more time?"
I don't think when it comes to these things. I just start developing feelings for someone and then see what happens. I just think that waiting to be ready will make you less ready over time, as well as kill your desire. You need expereience for everything, but to get experience you need to do that everything.
Number two felt like the biggest one. But the problem is, at least with my self esteem, a good part of that comes from the fact that I’ve been rejected by every attempt at a relationship so far. It’s starting to seep into my friendships a little, too, seeing them interact with each other and/or their partners more than anyone interacts with me. It’d be nice to actually feel wanted, because my self esteem stems from the thought of, “Clearly nobody likes me enough to stick around or reach out.” Having someone show me they genuinely want to spend time with me, without me always having to ask first, would do wonders for my self-esteem. But you can’t make people want to spend time with you; you can’t make other people do anything, really. It’s a very vicious and disheartening cycle.
0:46 - #1: Unrealistic Expectations
2:27 - #2: Unaddressed Personal Issues
3:31 - #3: Emotional Attachments to Ex-Lover
There y'all go. Stay strong, folks.
"However, your expectations can only be unrealistic if you force it on someone who isn't willing to meet them" THANK YOU
Yall always post what im exactly thinking about
Me too!!
Yeah, I was literally talking about all of these things today
Why is this soo underrated, this vid is sooo helpfull
Lmao 2 weeks ago- 💀
How-
This video is SPOT ON, WOW! I know I’m not ready bc of my overactive imagination and my insecurities of validation… working on myself and I’m loving my single life day by day❤
I’m also nervous about reliving the same situation with a new person…
Romance is cool, but it’s not the end all be all. Friendships, familial relationships, and other types of relationships are just as special and awesome.
1. i don't have crazy expectations time will show everything
2. i don't have personal issues like that
3. i don't have ex
Lol this videos been out for only 17 seconds and there are already people saying "how is this so underrated" and "how does this only have 250 views". Fellas, just chill 😂
uhh those comments you’re talking about were “several months/weeks” ago
i think this video was unlisted or something idk
After watching this video I realised that I'm capable of getting into an official relationship for the first time what earlier happened wasn't one of it and I'm completely moved on as it's been more than a year to it. This video gave me clarity the points shared are so accurate. I've been feeling low and strange mood swings since past few months and that's bcz I want love from someone other than my family n friends. It's just at this point I feel I need someone and experience how it's like to be called someone's special. 😊❤
I agree with all of this. There's a caveat here too. Accept that noone (not even yourself) are perfect. You will slip into old habits when triggered, we all do it. Especially if you've been through trauma. The key is to be honest with yourself and your partner about how you feel. This video isn't saying suppress your emotions and that you should be 100% self reliant. This is about learning to acknowledge your individual foibles and triggers and already have a toolbox of mental strategies etc you can use when you have a psychological break. Yes partners can support you but here's the thing noone is anyone's crutch. That's unhealthy. Leaning on each other is fine but that's sharing the weight and responsibility therein. (Just btw I learnt this the hard way again and again so I'm no expert 🤣 I suck at relationships honestly 🤣) a couple that can slay together equally stays together. If you feel too unstable to accept yourself and learn to carry your baggage, think of it this way, that's like handing your partner all your baggage and expecting them to carry all that plus theirs. Is that fair and would they break their Back? If you work out a balance and are honest with yourself you might say, *Hey I am sorry I struggle carrying X thing, I'd appreciate the support" and then when your partner is struggling with something in their baggage, assist them carrying that and so on. Coupling is a partnership. If you love yourselves and each other you'll want to assist each other. You just have to not expect them to carry your baggage, that's yours but when you're struggling someone you love can take the weight temporarily allowing you to take a moment and carry it again when you're not off balance if that makes sense.
you can't be suck at relationships if you know all of this 😰😰😰😰
Well said 💯 Ditto
Agree on all but finding some1 whom is prepared to take all this emotional healthy awareness is non existent these days I think, most are stuck in survival mode after 2020!🦠+ With the ease OV online to connect+ hookup as easy as ordering a takeaway! I think a lot do not want to b emotionally aware! Who's says romance is dead!💩🫤
Aces
@@skyd1mblue it's one thing to know it when you're out, it's another thing entirely to remember it when you're in 🤣
Thanks for useful and valuable video as always ❤❤❤
Me being aromantic: 👁️👄👁️
man...the worst feeling is when there's a little hint of chemistry, but you never get a chance to take out that person out or like you never see them ever again.
life is disappointing sometimes, but that's okay. I'm not gonna play the waiting game anymore. if I feel that chemistry then I'm going for it. whether I get rejected or not. 💪😤
I'm ready to building love👍 Building strong relationships requires realistic expectations, selflessness, and a commitment to values like fidelity, honesty, and open communication. These pillars create a foundation of mutual respect and understanding. 💑 #RelationshipWisdom #CommunicationIsKey"
1 and 3 are the biggest factors for me. Recently, I started dating again, but I can't help but feel like I'm not ready for a relationship.
WOW 😮 These videos are really hitting home.
Hi, thx Psych2go. Love the video’s, keep it up!!!👍😁👍
I had a relationship for 5 years and Im traumatized by narcissistic behavior because my ex made love-bombing,and he was being too clingy. As a result I felt too pressed and when I asked to break up he told me to make suicide.Moreover I broke up with him and after 2 years,I met someone else and we were dating.He was too enthusiastic,generous,kind but I saw red flags from both sides.For example he was pressing for commitment and in some situations I was thiinking about my ex's behavior.Because of that issue,I asked him to stop talking because I need some time to improve my boundaries and other issues.
Ha-ha, maybe it's just me, but I find that if I've been totally capable of addressing all of my personal issues, I would not like to have any relationships! The appeal of relationships, in my opinion, is that you combine your efforts while working on each other's and shared problems. It's great to have someone who does or understands something better than you and has your best interest in mind!
Aren't 1 and 2 contradictory?
We need to have realistic expectations and accept our potential partner will have flaws but at the same time we need to make sure we don't have any flaws left before we start.
I'm afraid if i have to wait untill all my issues are resolved i'm either never going to be ready or that by the time i will be ready nobody is going to want me cause my inexperience in love.
It just feels hopeless
Love doesn’t have an experience requirement nor does it play any meaningful role. What matters in love is being there and caring for each other in a healthy manner
I know for a fact that I'm not ready for a relationship, simply because at 21 I still live with my parents and haven't even gotten a job.
i felt like this before... but i had to marry my now husband to separate from my family due to toxic family relationship. it was affecting my mental health. and now i feel that i'm on the road to healing while having fun with my partner. he's not exactly the best type of person one could ask for, but he truly loves me and will always do his best to make me happy ❤
While I feel ready I don't intend to seek one out. A case of; if its going to happen it either will or it won't. I spent most of my youth seeking a relationship and feel rather done with being The Seeker now... we'll have to see.
I can't stop thinking of her, so it seems. I should wait.
I'd like a relationship,but I don't think I'm independent enough yet.
My question is, what is considered "too high" of expectations? Because I know a lot of people say expectations are too high even when they are just simple basic things in a relationship and it can get confusing for people either like me or others who simply want a basic relationship without any supposedly high expectations attached to it.
I love how all the romance and intimacy videos are coming out BEFORE Valentine's, instead of all the channels trying to fix things after then.
The self-esteem one is a call out for me fr ☠️
I will say number 2 is standing out to me a lot. I personally am dealing with a lot of intrapersonal conflict, and I am trying to resolve it. However, that conflict will cause me to overthink and not make me trust my significant other fully.
I lost a person who I liked due to my unaddressed personal issues. She was in love with me but I couldn't get into the relationship because of the same things. I knew I had to find a solution to my issues but I couldn't cause I didn't have the resources and now I feel awful because of it.
I feel you there. Have you considered reaching out to her?
@@colegracia2740a therapist *
I think they would love it if you just reach out.
I was in the same situation, and the other person had personal issues.
After we stopped talking I realised this, and I kinda wished he would talk to me about it. So give it a shot, if the other person is understanding they would accept it and give you a chance
@@colegracia2740 I did it. I apologize and everything but you know it didn't work out at the end. In fact I ended up feeling worse because of somethings she did.
@@Mariam-qu9hm Yeah. You sound like a really good person. Tbh I did what you're saying it didn't turn out well. I guess she took things personally and ended up taking advantage of how I was feeling atm. She basically took revenge so yeah. I mean I don't think I was so evil with her but you know the way she was seeing things were different from mine. Thanks for your comment 🙏🏽
I came to the realization that even though I want badly to be in a relationship I've not only yet to find someone I can fully connect with and understand me, but I need to work on me, I need to feel more comfortable in my own skin and my life, the problem is I have a friend that unfortunately can't seem to understand that even though I've explained it to them, I can't do relationships right now. It's a little frustrating, even if i care about them.
While you might want to deal with yourself before jumping in a relationship, with a good, understanding partner, you might be able to get past the issues and the partner was just helping you get there
My crush isn't entirely over her childhood, but a partner might be able to get her healthy by dealing with the 'sickness' not the symptoms
This video describes exactly how I am now. I hope I can find someone, but I don’t know. I feel that I’m still in the rut. So I’ll just take my time.
I really only have social anxiety but that’s it so I’m pretty sure I’m good to be in a relationship the problem is that I can’t talk to people also because high school is brutal
Bruh how does this only have 250 views?!?!
how did u comment 4 months ago
I have never been in a relationship in my entire life of 23 years.
-grow up in South-East-Asia.
-have lots of cousins as friend as a kid.
-only child
-very polite, ask me for anything, willing to give everything.
-get into a gang like friend group at the age of 12 or something. Feel like this is the peak of my life. (School system in my country ain't like in the west, subject teachers go to their schedule class and students stay in one class for whole school year. So I am friends with the whole class.)
-moved to the USA at the age of 16.
-Experience the west high school. (I didn't have time to get to know anyone really there. What popular in my country seem strange in the west. And my lonely path begin.)
-And COVID-19 hit, Blah Blah Blah. I am 22. I feel depress when I am doing nothing, so I start going to gym. I crave friends.
(sorry, my undiagnosed ADHD make me type the things above. Here is what I really want to say: back in my country, I am very happy with minimal stuffs(No 24/7 running water. No 24/7 electricity. Neighborhood fill with barking stray dogs and cats.)
in the USA I got things I never had but lost my joy, my happiness, my purpose. (I need friends to do some stuffs together!!!!!)
I hope you find a great group of friends - it might take some time but there are a lot of wonderful people here 😊
The videos about single and starting relationships are very helpful.
I find this confusing. You say that there is no right or wrong time for a relationship but then the topic suggests there is a right or wrong time...
When i read the video title, I`ve thought you made a video about me. This topic is totally me. I finally want to find the love of my life too because all of my friends did it but now I realized that it`s impossible to have a good and healthy relationship with me So i stopped trying. I hope i made the right decision.
Omg watching this, I realize I am finally ready!!
1. you have unrealistic expectations
2. you have not fully addressed your personal issue 2:28
3. you are still emotionally attached to your ex 3:32
To be honest another reason is maybe that you had an relation ship before that didnt work, because you know how it feels to be in an relationship.
I'm currently at the stage in my life where I feel like I don't need a relationship to be happy.
Sure a relationship would have been nice but not necessary.
I relate to all of these signs 💯
2nd one fo me, ALWAYS MAKE YOUR BEST MOVE YOUR NEXT MOVE good luck all who want to change for the better 🥳
Curious to ask folks here:
In some cases, could there not be some benefit to comparing a new partner to an ex? Like, considering "here's a quality my ex had that I realize I value in a partner" or even "here's a quality my ex had that I do NOT value in a partner." I would imagine such comparisons like this might in fact be helpful in entering a new relationship.
Imo, I just think comparisons aren’t good - but self reflecting and finding what you may or may not like is. A new person could have traits you might not know you value, and their bad traits might not show up until later. But a case of comparing an ex with a current partner I think implies the ex is still at least partially on their mind
Well I think about my ex and compare new people to him, but the only reason I do that is to look out for the bad signs he gave me. He has been the cause of a lot of mental problems and I don’t want to be friends or in a relationship with people like him.
So my worry that I'm unworthy of love make me unworthy of love. Cool.
As someone who might be ready for a relationship but doesn't want it I see this as an absolute loss
I still think about my ex over two years later. And we were only together for barely 6 months
Thank you Psych2Go these videos really help, and have been helping me understand my feelings for my friend and how to properly display said feelings.
I have to end my relationship 2 months ago. The tragic here is:
No one Cheat oder harm the other one. We try it several times to go as a couple but everytime we ended Up the same :/ Long Story short.
Its hard to end it while No one rly want. And much harder to accept it😢
To be honest, we never let pass much time before coming togehter again. Not more than 2 months.
Now its more and every day is a fight:/
Its the right way to move on. Make experiences and evolve..May to Connect in the right way in the future.
In the past there were broke ups too sadly. No one was easy but can handle it somehow with time und friend Support.
But this time i cant handle it alone and go for professional help today. This lovely woman triggers something deep and i have find it. And may the reason why we didnt fit.
Good luck to all you outhere.
Thank you for the video, this will help me alot for the future, thank you 😊❤❤❤
Never thought I could see a video that completely relates to me..
I need to think about this for a while. 🎭 Thank you.
This video is so true thanks ❤️😊
I'm not ready for time and financial related reasons. I got higher priorities at the moment.
Video saved. This is gonna be hard for me to hear and ponder.
They heard me saying I wanted a boyfriend out loud to myself earlier…😧
I literally said
“wait you have to address your personal issues 🤯“
I'm working my way through #2 via therapy and self-care. It's been a rough few years for me. Still, even if I was 100% ready for a relationship, it just doesn't feel like there's a lot of hope. The dating scene of today is so broken and awful, and considering I didn't have much luck even before the smartphone, social media, always connected era, it's hard to be optimistic.
I had a relationship for 3 months. But we broke up because I feel like I'm too much of a problem.
I wish I had a choice but one day my human picked me up off the street, fed me, provided me everything I could ever need... But the connection isn't there anymore. Now I'm overweight, hooked on catnip, and trying to escape the house every time the front door is open.
Honestly my issues aren't going away, but they keep me from being with someone. Pisses me off.
I just want to love someone… and share my life with… it’s an insane need I have to show love to someone through romantic relations… in the first relationship I was in (sadly only lasted just under 2 months) I had never felt happier (this was 2 years ago, and I’m entirely over it), until a few months ago, when I went on a date and I felt like I was free from my loneliness… but that one date… shouldn’t have happened… cuz she’s been with a guy for a year, but didn’t tell me until after the date. I still like her, and she knows. But it’s a need I have to show romantic and intimate love with a girl my age. (Dw, she’s 21 I’m 22)
I think another important aspect of the point Unrealistic Expectations are UNSPOKEN Unrealistic Expectations. It can be bad enough when you just tell someone they should do something they don't want or can't be able to fulfill. It's a whole other beast when you assume they already know that this is expected of them, and get mad when they don't meet them. Instead of explaining what you were hoping for and hearing out their explanation. It can also be helpful to get a second opinion, ideally not from a person raised under your exact same circumstances. Just to ask 'who of us was being unreasonable here, or do we just need to be more clear about what we both want?'
Ex? What's an ex?! Never had one of those.. 😔
V good info again. Thank you. Been through surreal maelstrom. V alone. Needing industrial strength therapy v soon. Looking for myself. Wish me luck.
Out of everything I saw here, I think I’m alright except for #2 🤨 I don’t want to have to rely on someone else to feel validated, so I think I’m better off waiting for now
I honestly want a relationship because the idea of love I have never had a successful one. I want a girlfriend not to this void but for the big picture of creating life and kick the worlds ass…
2:15 I need to remember this
You're too lazy/burned out but desperately need to feel more Love. Speaking from experience.
After all Ive been trough in life. I'm looking for a perfect person. Complete package. My ex-fiance died of cancer when he was 23 years old..I'm so not ready to date..😢
Yeah, I'm comparing them to my ex bc everyone compared looks so good and lovable 😂
Super I'm loving those videos
they’re targeting me aren’t they
I've been betrayed by my first ex-girlfriend and one of my last girlfriends, and I always get this feeling that I'm just not ready. One of my other ex-girlfriends was a little more understanding when we broke up because she understood I just wasn’t ready, so we moved on. I've moved on and now I'm trying to focus on myself and what I'm wanting. Sometimes it's better to stay single, so I'm just used to it. I still feel lonely without a girlfriend sometimes, but I know I can’t dwell on it too much. As I said I'm just trying to focus on myself.
I want to ask a guy out, but I'm worried that if we do start dating I won't be able to send as much time as I want because of university and work. To me time=effort=I love you, so by not having time I feel distant. But I don't want to loose him either
Dude, I’ve never been in a relationship, but I do want one.
It’s just that I’m butt ugly and nobody wants me. It’s cool though, I’ve accepted it
Thanks for your videos
42, and I'm still not ready.
HEY GOOD MORNING MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY I HAVE TO SAY THIS TOPIC IS ME 💯 PERCENT, I DO WANT A RELATIONSHIP, I'M TRYING TO WAITING FOR THE RIGHT WOMAN, I GUESS I HAVE TO. PLEASE KEEP ME IN YOUR PRAYERS, HAVE A BLESSED DAY 🙏💯💙💪🙊🙉🙈
Me. I thought I wanted someone. And I do. But I’m not ready…
I was literally thinking about this when the 2nd point hit home for me