@@silentbanana209 well it's about yourselves. I mean are you doing good things because of people or because it's helping you to be better person ? You know what I mean ? 😁👍
Never had any relationship before till now, even though I am already 28 years old.. sorry I thought I can relate... But really cannot relate. It made me confused instead.
You feel like something is missing in your life. You yearn for someone to love and hold you. For someone who you can love and share a vulnerable side of yourself with. That is a sign your heart wants to be loved.
HEY GOOD MORNING MY FRIEND, I BELIEVE THAT YOUR SO RIGHT, I HAVE BEEN SINGLE FOR ABOUT 3 YEARS NOW AND IT'S HARD TO FIND A GOOD WOMAN NOW DAYS, MARRY XMAS 🎄 AND HAPPY NEW YEARS 🏆, HAVE A BLESSED DAY TEE 🙏💯🙏💙💪
That is all true, but once the torment of loneliness wears you down enough, you get used to it. Not all of us needs a companion or partner in life. Let alone deserve one. Some of us is destined to rot up in loneliness.
Exactly. And as I read in a book long, long ago: very few living people can compare to a conversation with the cleverest dead authors you can have in your mind every time you open a good book.
Same here. I guess seeing litterally everyone around me having relationships that actually works, damn well knowing i never will get to posess this ability, let alone the idea of having a partner must be nice.
OMG ME TOO. I like the idea of being with someone, then I look at my options and go, "...No thanks." It's like going to a restaurant and leaving because of the menu.
that's just my situation right now. i really do want to connect with someone but I've always hold myself back because I know what my flaws are, fearing that those things will be the reason we'll drift apart. i really, really love them, but i keep telling myself that i can't be with them, and that i shouldn't
The hardest thing is wanting a relationship, being really lonely, but not being able to get into one and having zero hope of getting one. People say "just work on yourself and put yourself out there, also don't be afraid of rejection", but when you struggled with depression and social anxiety all your life, doing anything of that feels harder than rocket science and scarier than the darkest and deepest void
Slow and steady successes and you'll get there. You can't expect to meet all the requirements for healthy self and relationship when you need to work on basic self-esteem and confidence. These things are built over years. Slow and steady!
@@Peter-rn5bu yeah, except by the time you get your shit together, assuming you ever get your shit together, you are like at least 40 y/o and still emotionally immature and have a lot less experience than your peers and most of them by this age already are in long term relationships or have families. And dating a lot younger people than you is morally ambiguous, assuming they would like an old fart like you in the first place. Essentially, the longer it takes you to get into a relationship, the harder it gets
@@Peter-rn5bu I'm gonna be 30 in 6 months with zero relationship experience, no idea how to give, what to take or how to play the game, and most women my age just ain't got time for that. Slow and steady though, right? Ha.
How much you can expect from yourself depends on your past successes, and if you have none, even just consistently doing bare minimum is an achievement. Keep improving, keep achieving. And if you are consistent and keep upping your standards you will get somewhere. Keep learning and achieving and figure out what you want and how to get it. That is passion and drive. If you want it a lot, you will work hard for it. You could meet someone who is a little late to the journey as you are, but I think that there are many people don't take self-improvement very seriously. Keep in mind that your own capability and personability will somewhat reflect that of your potential partners. Who you settle with will be reflective of your own capability and personability. Also, your partner will only love you as much as you love yourself, and you will only love them as much as you know how to love yourself. Focus on yourself, for capability and a more accurate awareness of options in the future. Take care and figure out good rest and relaxation as well. Even if you are late to start your journey of independence and autonomy, if you keep working at it, you will be proud of yourself. Figure out what you want, how much you want it, and commit to what you can, baby steps first, and maybe you can ride a wave in the future, but for now, just focus on figuring out what to achieve right now with your current capability and circumstances, and pushing yourself to commit sustainably/continuously. I think an opportunity for people in these kinds of situations is that they know what being at rock bottom (of social skills, and anxiety issues), feels like and they have an opportunity to reflect more clearly about their values and personal goals. People are drawn to personalities which are independent and capable. That includes your own personality. Strive to be someone who works on good personal values, and may good interpersonal relations be achieved as well.
I've had a Enough 😡😡😡 Timestamp 0:00 intro 0:41 Conflicting emotions 1:16 Craving Independence 1:54 Emotional exhaustion 2:41 Lack of personal fulfillment 3:18 Desire of exploration 4:32 final thoughts (A Nightmare before Christmas movies Refercenes ) 🙂🙂🙂
Lmao my last situationship(She was the one not wanting a relationship, I did and I'm never entering a situationship again. They're dumb.) showed a lot of these signs, she had no clue what she wanted. She said she didn't want a relationship but all her actions whenever she didn't filter herself showed she did. In fact like two month after we stopped talking she ended up getting a partner. And she thought I was insane for trying to tell her she clearly wanted a relationship, I think my evidence at this point is borderline undeniable.
The idea of being in a relationship hits so different to me. I love imagining myself being in a relationship which felt so freaking unreal like reading a book character's love life. But in reality I'm not feeling I'm into being in a relationship. I watched your "why higly intelligent people struggle with love" video and that felt so much like me. And I wanna add another reason for it. I'm afraid of being in a relationship. Because of the relationships that I saw, the relationship that my parents shared etc. And I'm freaking out when think of being in a relationship because I feel like it's gonna turn bad whatever you do or whoever you are in relationship with.
As an 17-year old Autistic Male, this is so relatable, I think this is a result of us having a fearful Avoidant attachment style from childhood, particularly from emotional bullying and alienation from school.
I appreciate you sharing your perspective. Have you found any specific strategies that help you cope with the challenges associated with a fearful avoidant attachment style?
@Psych2go Still working on that, you guys should make a specific video about Fearful Avoidant Attachment since it's often not talked about compared to the other 3 styles.
@@Psych2goi’m a 24 year old autistic male. the way i’ve learned to cope is to abide by a more stoic attitude towards everything and the belief in fate. if it’s to happen, it will. if it’s not to be, then it won’t. take the risk and take the next step no matter how risky. we may not be able to control everything or even how we may feel about something but we have total control on how we react to what’s happening
I literally watch the title of the new psych2go video because it always sums up my actual state, I stopped reading the horoscope BCS this channel already reads my present
For me it's the opposite. I don't want to be single, but my heart wants to be single. I didn't want it to be this way, but I feel so happy with my life by myself and every time I try to bring someone else into my life it feels like I'm splitting my time between being happy and being in a relationship. For my entire life I convinced myself that I just haven't found the right person, but in recent years I have decided that I need to stop looking. If said person show up: great! And if they don't: I'm already happy by myself, no reason to change a team that's winning.
Your perspective is both insightful and liberating! Embracing happiness in solitude is a powerful stance. How have you found ways to balance personal contentment with the potential for a relationship, and have you noticed any positive changes in your life since adopting this mindset? 🌟😊💕
Love and affection. Care and Compassion. It's all most people really want, myself included. But then there's the expectation vs. the reality of a real relationship.
I think my biggest fear when it comes to not being single is having someone be willing put their whole life and happiness on the line to be with you. It feels like a resposibility I'm not sure I can handle. I mean I bearly keep myself afloat most of the time so what grounds do I have to even help others in this area? Looking at my parents I just wonder how much they've been through and if I would have the courage to go on the same journey with someone.
Thanks for sharing! The fear of responsibility is valid. Have you thought about taking small steps in building a connection, allowing trust and understanding to develop naturally?
Absolutely, for me the whole thing just seems like something insurmountable, just too big for me. Combine that with low self-esteem, trust issues, social anxiety and an ingrained belief that I’ll never get married and it’s not looking good🤦♂️😢
As someone who has been in and out of relationships. I just want to say that there’s nothing wrong with choosing to stay single if a relationship isn’t convenient to you (anymore). But yeah it definitely comes to a point as to whether or not you want to have that kind of special companionship. Especially when we’re talking about filling in an empty space and whatnot.
After 31 years I realized I want something completely unrealistic, which is someone who actually loves me and who I am instead of loving what I can do and how I can provide. That's why I'm single.
@lognomodeimeme doing exactly that is what made me give up over a year ago. I'm about to be 33, do you think I will waste the rest of my life chasing ungrateful women in hopes of maybe getting the bare minimum one day?
Guess 4 out of 6 signs you mentioned applied to myself -craving independence -conflicting emotions -emotional exhaustion -lack of personal fulfillment For someone like me who has a low self esteem it really hits hard for me
If you work on yourself; working out, self care, hobbiws, competency in wrk. You will feel better as you raise your overal value in yourself. It is fractal and will trigger an inevitable reaction within.
@@lukaswilliams5851that's the problem sometimes. Having low esteem often made you ask yourself questions like "what's the point" and utterly stopping you from moving
@valerkos93 Shalom and namaste THE point of mental, emotional, spiritual, physical self care and improvement is that you ARE worthy, important,and valuable. Usually, we care for (take care of) assets (things) outside of us; however, each of us is far more valuable than any inanimate object. Caring for ourselves is a result of seeing us as valuable as another person--who is just as flawed and as great as us. Each of us IS worthy of care and investment (improvement). Although we may not feel blessed and worthy, the mere fact of our existence makes us so.
It could be worse man. You could have been in my shoes. I have zero self esteem at all. You have a low self esteem, is infinitely better than having None, at all.
I was kinda shocked once I saw this notification, because it’s exactly what I’ve been going through. I had let a couple failed relationships completely warp my perspective about being in one. Now I see the bigger picture so thanks for giving me clarity about it.
I'm glad to hear that the video provided clarity for you. It's important to learn and grow from past experiences. How do you plan to apply this newfound perspective to your approach to relationships moving forward? :)
@@Psych2go I definitely want to try dating again eventually. I’ve just been waiting for the right person but I think I will try to talk to people more!
I'm in college, and I am still in my Freshman year. I have seen many of my friends in relationships, even a few of them engaged. Whenever I hear my co workers talking about their lives and their relationships, I just feel this sense that I am missing out on things. I've always questioned it, but this channel is helping me understand. Thanks for your helpful videos!
Thats why you decide actively every day to work on the relationship, and WANT it to work. You honestly expected a man to carry the whole relationship for you?
I agree. I’ve been single and lonely my whole life. However, whenever I hang out with my friends/family and their SO’s I get to see first hands the ups and downs and start to reconsider
My heart literally aches about having a future partner to spend my life with but in reality I am content with being single. It's such a struggle but I have learned that just because my heart wants something, I have to listen to my brain and wait patiently for the right person to come and not rush into things for the sake of my emotions. I've learned this the hard way but I don't regret it because now I have the mindset that if I wait patiently, in the end both my heart and my brain will be happy :)
This is such a great mindset ! I rushed into a relationship to make my heart happy while my brain wasn’t. I ended up with an emotionally broken heart and a mentally damaged brain.
I talk about how happy I am single, because, I feel head over heels for someone that I couldn't be with. Going on dates with strangers from the internet after that feels so wrong. I'd rather wait for the right one to show up naturally even if that's never. I couldn't give up that feeling in a relationship...
I'm really happy this channel exists. I've been watching for a while and it has helped me identify some good and bad things within myself and I've grown as a person ever since. Keep doing what you're doing because what you all do is amazing!!!
I'm only 14 years old , and this channel really helps me understand my inner world 👍 This video taught me very much information about my main problem, thank you so much 🙏
I'm glad to hear that the channel has been helpful for you! It's wonderful that you're exploring and understanding your inner world at such a young age. If you ever have more questions or thoughts, feel free to share. Is there a specific aspect of your inner world that you found particularly insightful from the video?
@@JustDiegooYou're 14 years old, my g. Wait until you're 18 with relationships. Like... JESUS! Why are y'all so impatient? 14 isn't the age to get relationships!
@@sirbughunteryess , I don't want relationships now , as you said , i want to wait until 18 In my opinion 14 years old is a peak of adrenaline in the blood of teenagers , trying out everything they can But I'm different 💀
If you were in a relationship and it failed, there's also one more thing other than the fear of losing someone - the struggle of being responsible for a relationship you're supposed to be in. Sometimes I think it would be a nice to have a gf, but then I realise how awfully bad I am at keeping my own life in check, and it would be even worse helping significant other with their problems if I can't even get my shit together. It's all nice having hugs, kisses and spending time together, until a problematic situation of your partner appears, where you can't help him/her, but you're sure you should do so. This just completely shuts down the idea of relationship for me.
Honestly, I’m single because I don’t want to pass on the trauma of my last relationship onto others. I know we all carryover the effects of what happened to us in the past as lessons but I want my next relationship to be fulfilling. Not just to be with someone because everyone thinks I’m single for too long
Recognizing the impact of past experiences and wanting a healthier future relationship is a thoughtful approach. How have you been working on healing from the past trauma, and do you have specific criteria or goals for yourself before considering a new relationship? 🌱💖🤔
When you experience your first relationship you’ll want another.. it’s hard to remain without a person who hugs you, listens to you, kisses you But I want to be alone because I’m not ready yet, I’ve been with a guy with narcissistic traits and I haven’t healed yet, also I don’t have time for a relationship… but it would be nice to have someone
It sounds like you're going through a healing process after a challenging relationship, and it's important to prioritize your well-being. Taking the time for self-care and personal growth is crucial. Have you considered engaging in activities or hobbies that bring you joy and fulfillment in the meantime?
@@Psych2go well obviously… this is why I said I don’t have time 😂 I’m not like those people who jump into other relationships only to forget about their past, it’s unfair for their new person. I’ve been going to therapy too, but it’s hard to feel good again after the betrayal
I can relate, and I'm also going through a long healing process. I appreciate that you are so honest with yourself, and that you recognize that you don't want to bring the unhealed parts into your next relationship. I think that it shows that you are growing from your experience. My ex wasn't narcissistic, but has some narcissistic traits...and that was difficult enough. (She also still carries damage from her childhood, instead of getting the help that she needs. That's another reason why I'm taking the time to heal before getting involved with someone else too soon, because I've seen firsthand what unhealed trauma looks like. So, I commend you for your commitment to healing.
@@j.d.aengus yes I truly don’t want to ruin my next relationship because my ex ruined me and I don’t want to do that to anyone. Of course these people don’t want any help, they don’t see the problem with themselves… I want to improve to give my best but it’s hard to change. But at least I can overcome my pain… sooner or later
When after 10 or more relation ship the end is the same : you gave 300% love and kindness etc and recieve so few (even if you try to adapt to your partner to fit perfectly). It s frustrating. And in my case it always turn bad. My partner funaly sees me more like a best friend, a confidant, a sister😢. And love desappear from his eyes. I'm just here to solve hos problems. To be the strong arms he can be secured in. Always this one way. Never the opposite. So I explain my feeling and it always breaks. They told me I m tve best friend ever but not the partnrr they wanted. I m tired of all these relations. Now I 'll always love myself (and my kids).there plenty of other wen on earth to take care of the mens remaining. I ve done the job ma.y many times.time to retire (I'm 41😢). Nice channel anyway😉
Timestamps 1). Conflicting emotions 0:41 2). Craving independence 1:16 3). Emotional exhaustion 1:55 4). Lack of personal fulfillment 2:41 5). Desire of exploration 3:18 Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. Sorry this is so late. 💙💙💙💙💙💙
Yo! I just got called out big-time from a UA-cam video at like four in the morning. And I can’t even be mad about it because four out of five of those were on point.
I used to think about relationships during my teenage years and university but now as 25 with a full time job I feel I'm too tired to look for a partner, get to know him, imagine our hipotetical future, going out with him, meeting eachother families etc etc. I would rather use my time to improve myself, my skills. Besides I've been single for whole my life, don't have hunger for sex or touch, so it's not a big deal for me.
That's fine too. If anything, I'm a little jealous. I used to be like that. After I moved out when I was 20, I was only thinking about my career, going to college, getting my first job, feeling any sort of autonomy that I was denied from growing up. Any thoughts of a relationship was more or less an after thought, something that would happen when I had my shit in order. Unfortunately, my mental health has completely fallen apart. I've grown sick of my toxic family, so now I find myself pushing and pulling against the idea of wanting to feel the comfort of another individual. My mind tells me to fix myself until I'm better, but my heart tells me that by the time I do so, I'd have let another decade slip past me, only this time it wasn't an abusive parent who made me waste a decade, I've done it to myself.
Prioritizing personal growth and skills while being content with being single is a valid choice. How have you found this focus on self-improvement impacting your overall satisfaction and fulfillment, and do you have specific areas you're excited to develop further in your life and career? 🌟💼🤔
I want it but now I’m wondering if I’m even deserving of it. Dating seems like a matter of what you can give. The overthinking thoughts are If you don’t have this or that, you aren’t worth it.
Thank you for being honest about your feelings :) Feeling deserving is a journey. What are some qualities or aspects about yourself that you appreciate and think others might value?
@@Psych2gomy willingness to help, to listen and offer comfort. That’s probably the only thing going for me since height, wealth and looks aren’t on my side.
Well, I definitely relate to point 1. I am 37, have never dated before and am socially isolated, and I am scared about trying to put myself out there. I'm afraid of getting hurt, of hurting someone else, of not being able to find someone who can accept my Asexuality, of not finding someone with whom I share mutual attraction, and quite a few other things. ... Maybe this is something I should work on this year.
These are my thoughts on a daily basis. Whenever I get lonely it hurts, but then I see what my friends and family have to go through in their relationships. If you’re just not ready then you’re better off
Happily single here, several years now. All the negatives of relationships you mentioned, that’s what occurred multiple times. Quite frankly, I’m over relationships. End of story.
As autistic woman I'm overwhelmed by just everyday's interactions with environment. Every past relationship was exhausting. To keep inner peace and balance I prefer to stay single.
i relate to this video so much, i want to be single rn because my last relationship ended badly and left me feeling like i should work on myself and build my castle before inviting another into it, but my heart has a good idea of what my perfect partner looks like, and even sees all those qualities in one of my female friends and wants a relationship with her.
You have no idea how much sense of relatability i experienced when watching this video, especially reason number 1, i am conflicted to be in a relationship out of fear that i might drag down my partner with all my life problem and made them suffered, so i instead kept my feelings towards myself and watched my crush dating one of my friend and instead of ending it there my heart kept creating new crushes that i cant be with and seeing them taken away by my other friends...
wow... this video is spot on. Although the primary reason i'm single rn is mostly because i haven't found anyone that i like, this was absolutely the case for me in high school, and even somewhat the case now.
Idk how but psych2go always seems to give me the right kind of video according to my present situation. It's like getting your answers delivered to the doorstep of your life via youtube.
Your channel does much to help me and others understand our selves. This is in the top five. Thank you so much. I'm conflicted about evveerryy thing, lots to learn. Thank you v much. Xxx
I'm glad to hear that our channel has been helpful for you! Exploring and understanding oneself can indeed be a journey. What specific aspects or topics from the channel have resonated with you the most so far?
Wow this hits home. I’m a loner and the thought of my life being so intertwined with someone else sounds utterly repulsive to me. And yet, my heart aches when I think about being in a relationship. But I have never been good at talking to women or flirting nor have I ever had much confidence with them, and at my age, that is highly unlikely to ever change
I’m like this. I just don’t want a relationship because I have high academic/ career goals. I also have many hobbies, so in between all of that, I don’t have time for a relationship
I just wish i could have had one relationship. Every time someone shows interest in me, i get the heartbreak and abandonment before ive ever gotten the love and affection part.
35 years single and not one of them could anyone give me benefits to dating that either didnt equal out to the negatives or werent easily gotten on my own. I want a hug, ill buy a doll
this video resonated with me a lot. as much as I’d like to experience real romantic love in my lifetime, I’m too avoidant and fearful to ever pursue one, or to not try to escape if someone tries to initiate a relationship with me. I also don’t think that I want to have to commit in the way that I’d be expected to, because the whole idea of it feels limiting.
Would love to see something about Aromanitcs and knowing if it’s a crush or attachment issues or even just strong platonic feelings. As someone with Autism who struggles to understand their feeling this would really help because I think I’m aro/ace but it’s confusing 🙏
This!!! I'm ace and questioning aro, it's impossible for me to sort whether my feelings are romantic or platonic, especially considering I've never dated before
The things that were described, I look at it as a way to learn more about myself and what I will and won't tolerate when I decide to look for romance. Right now, it is about being comfortable being on my own.😊
This video really spoke to me. I never got into a relationship before and the last time I had a crush on someone, they rejected me for a stupid reason. I'm over that now, but now I can tell that more people like me and can't figure out what to do. My main reason that I don't want a relationship yet is the fear of hurting the feelings of others who have a crush on me. But, my heart yearns to have a fulfilling relationship and have a partner who understands me and loves me for who I am. It's hard trying to find someone like me these days because of how we have changed psychologically. This is my message to those struggling with this. Thank you.
As someone who's around MANY couples, especially involving people that I used to love, I realized that most of my past crushes have always hated me, but never really told me. Some would tell me I'm "too quiet", or just too ugly, or just depart from me and stop talking to me entirely. Every time I tell myself that I should be single because I know for myself that I can't keep a steady relationship. I'm too quiet, too unsettling to talk to. People always tell me that I look depressed or have "The Eyes Of A Hunter." I'd always get made fun or my my crushes, and so I to departed from them. But any time I'm around couples, I yearn for love more, and more, but have the fear of embarrassing myself, or having too many problems to deal with, or worse. For this reason, I stay single. This video was really relatable. I may not be able to overcome my personal problems, but I hope others who are in this situation can. ❤
I'm 24, i never had a relationship, and i'm fine with being single. Almost all relationships around me look like both partners playing roles. Most of them even backstab each other for tiny mistakes. Sure most people love being in a relationship, but i won't navigate into that minefield
All these points I can relate to. I'm taking time out of relationships to work on CPTSD and trauma. If the right person comes along I may consider a relationship But if my future is being single, I will accept it Thank you so much for sharing this video
Right now, I know I'm not trying for a relationship because I don't like extended sharing of space and resources, and that's just another person in close proximity you have to navigate. The independence and self-fulfillment really apply to me, and leaning on someone else in my personal life for that kind of support is not a thing I want.
I like how you describe relationship: someone to love and support you. Also its important to communicate . I had many relationships living and having children with "partners " . None of them loved or supported me. And I let it happen. Until I left them. Very important to communicate. I only recently found out. 😮 You learn as you go along...
I think my life could have plenty of meaning without a relationship as I believe life has a lot more to offer than romance and physical touch. However, I find myself wanting those things, and it seems like it would be unjustified of me to settle for someone I don't truly love or hooking up to fill the void. I know I'm greyace and greyaro. I'm not sure if there is more at work here, I just assume I'm different. I'm not necessarily unhappy single either. I feel like I've made peace with the idea that I could live my whole life and never experience it.
This same thing can also apply for friendships. I've been conflicted whether I want to find new friends because I've been scarred in the past when I made a mistake that ruined my friendships. Like, I'm scared that when I make new friends and I make a mistake, I'll get abandoned again...
For me it’s about not being ready to be in a relationship even though I’m 35 because I’m a mess and I don’t see why anyone would want to put up with me in my current state, nor would I want to put anyone through having to deal with me. I feel like I’ve been working on myself for ages but I keep falling into the same old bad habits. One step forward and two steps back 😓
I want to be alone because: - in my last relationship I was used as an "emotional bandage", I was used as a consolation after my ex's previous relationship and I promised myself that I would not do the same to anyone else. - I bought an apartment, I'm moving to a new city and I know how much work and time it will take - I don't have the time needed to build relationships and I don't want to take anyone's time - I know I need to be alone for a while, to calm down a lot of things in my head My heart wants to love and be loved. I miss this feeling. Many times during the week or when I go to bed I think how wonderful it would be to have someone to talk to, spend romantic time with, feel supported and present. But unfortunately this is not the right moment in my life.
i'm a student in high school. I wanna be single because i want to maintain my GPA, sports, and hang out with my buddies. but i want someone who i can hold and love and tell anything to
I can't deny that I have asked myself this question repeatedly, especially when I found myself surrounded by friends who have long since been a relationship. While I do find fear of rejection and emotional exhaustion to be plausible reasons why it may be difficult to seek out a partner, for me its more of a matter of circumstance & timing. I can't help but feel as if there never was or is a time in my life that seems appropriate. Commitment and devotion is required to both preserve and develop a relationship, but if one is currently going through a period of time in their life that requires them to share their time and efforts to achieve results, such as a career or advanced education, I feel as if this rationing of emotions can be as fatiguing as it could be damaging. And the worse part is that you won't be the only one suffering, which might be the reason why I am so apprehensive when it comes to romantic relationships.
This has been happening to me for a long while now. So it’s like I want to be somebody, but at the same time I don’t. I enjoy being single, but I feel that it can get depressing sometimes. I tried to be in relationships so many times and it didn’t work out due to self doubt and getting turned down. I think I’m not ready yet.
I'm 19, and this video kinda relates to me at my current moment. I've been feeling really depressed and hopeless lately, and I always think about relationships and that I believe I will never experience one, it ruins my mood every time I think about it and I can't stop including things to do with the future also. I've been single my entire life, and I would love to experience a relationship, but I doubt I'll never meet a girl who loves me and that I also believe I'm not ready for a relationship as I don't even love myself yet, so I'm not ready to love someone back even though I want too! I also don't have the time or money, and I would rather focus on myself to improve myself, but relationships always come into my head...
You're off to a bad start if you think the heart does any thinking. There's nothing I can get out of a relationship that I don't already have. I'm in an intimate and fulfilling relationship with myself. I'm a keeper. Love yourself.
I feel like rejection is something I've realized hits me harder than I want it. I'm probably single because I freeze in conversations, and I'm awkward. Sometimes, I literally don't know what to say because I lack experience or knowledge. Plus, I've been feeling a female led relationship might be right for me. Heart says yes to that, and my brain replies, "You might be right" 🤔
As a person with Autism, I’m currently feeling this. I made a decision a long time ago that if I were to fall in love I would take my time to be sure he’s God fearing, trustworthy, and reliable. I also decided to be married before I give my body away. I grew up in a broken home without a dad. My bio dad left before I was born and I was raised by a single mom. I always had this fear that if I settled down and have kids the same thing will happen to me and my potential kids. I came across guys before who just wanted to sleep with me so I didn’t trust them at all. Most guys only look for one thing. That’s why a lot of times I feel like I’m better off on my own. I don’t see myself sleeping with or having a kid with a man I will never marry or have a long term relationship with. If being single and child free is what it takes for me to avoid raising a broken family then so be it.
I know thats a hard decision but it's a good one. As a Christian I'm proud of you and God is too. Keep going sister may you find your future husband. And allways remember, if it's not in this life, it will be in the next one. Stay strong!
I am facing this issue alot, I really want a relationship but I know I am not ready for one and I haven't moved on properly from the last one. I am perfectly happy single yet it hurts sometimes alot.
It's understandable to feel conflicted about relationships, especially when dealing with unresolved emotions from a previous one. Taking the time to focus on personal growth and healing can be beneficial. What steps are you currently taking to work through these emotions and prepare yourself for future relationships?
@@Psych2go Currently, I am trying to find my own way through life, trying to move on with it. Focusing on myself and trying to get myself into a better environment and learn how to control my emotions and to not act upon random impulses. I have a long way to go, but I will eventually work through it. When I am ready i will find the right one.
I don't need this video to know this is exactly how I feel. My heart has always wanted a relationship, but as I grew up I realized the type of relationship I want is unatainable, impossible. At this point, I don't even know how to act about relationships anymore and everytime I think someone may like me, I have a bunch of jumbled emotions and become more emotionally distant from that person (and sometimes others around me) out of so many fears, which sucks since I want an emotional relationship over anything else. I don't even care about the physical aspect as much (though sexual things make me very uncomfortable, so maybe not anything like that. That also may be part of the reason I'm confused about my stance on romantic relationships). It's like I'm in a constant fight with my heart. I have to constantly tell myself to just "let my heart beat" because I almost subconciously try to control and trap my heart. I have to let it beat, though, or else risk a crappy emotional state that I don't want. I hate it. There's been many a time I wished to stab my heart (symbolically, not literally... For the most part) and wished that, if I were to get murdered, they would stab or shoot my heart. Nothing but my heart. It's not a healthy mindset but I'm too afraid to just let something be. I'm trying, though, I'm really trying (hence the "just let my heart beat" thing)
And then there's me, still single because i'm just too shy to speak to literally anyone plus i have difficulty to communicate. A perfect combo that makes me single even though i really want a relationship 🙃
I always go with logic instead of emotion. Logic ALWAYS outweighs emotion. That being said, I'm comfortable being single for the fact that it's something I've never had and I can't imagine sharing my life with someone because of both lack of experience and lack of interest. I think about having to share a space and what comes with that territory, and it overwhelms me and drives me away from the idea of a relationship and marriage altogether
i think i just miss the independence and freedom of choice. My past was dark as most people's are. But my past molded me to have ideals I have today and still have to try and integrate in my day to day life just being in a relationship. I love my partner but im afraid of not getting the full chance to pursuit what I want or need due to feeling like I can't even leave the house on my own without worrying if she feels lonely or sad if I'm gone. It makes me wonder what my life would be like if I stayed single. Its about the opportunities I possibly missed just being by myself. The accomplishments. Not saying in the relationship there aren't any, but I've become more of a caregiver than a partner at times it feels like. Personal development is a big milestone in my partner's life that hasn't necessarily been accomplished. It's hard to deal with when external issues are involved in our day to day life. Its a desperate tug and pull. It definitely more or less takes a toll on who or what i've been and become.
I’m not the one who wants to be single, so when that special someone and I come into each others’ lives, my parents will just have to come to terms with the fact that some rando guy they hardly know is claiming their _now-very-much-an-independent-adult_ baby boy as his Special One (and vice versa). 💞
Well since everyone else is also sharing: I do agree with what is presented. However. Being single and having the desire to remain single has started a process of incredible personal and emotional development. I'm kinder to people. More patient. I'm working on my relationship with my mom. Spending time with hobbies. The growth I'm experiencing is something I treasure and I know that I will meet someone at some point again. When I do I will be a better person and partner than I ever was. But rather than jumping into a new thing for the wrong reasons and just because I can't bear being alone anymore, possibly ignoring red flags, I'll ride the wave of growth until I feel the desire to put myself out there again.
This video brought to mind a line from a song by Sleep Token that's been rattling around my brain for approaching a year now: "I might break and bend to my basic need to be loved and close to somebody" Is a sad line, but it's definitely how I've felt for a long time now
Constantly having to deal with this clash. Hurts even without thinking about relationships. Do want to find love but lack the social aspect (from being shut away throughout childhood and teen years against my will AND suffered bullying when in school) and fear being abandoned. Especially when things are overwhelming.
Thoughts: Ouch! I recognize myself too much! Ways I'm Struggling: With not wanting to take the risk to open up or be vulnerable again (and again, and again). Not trusting my ability to discern who is really good for me. Feeling disconnected from myself and a bit lost in life, yes. I bet on a level - I'm protecting a potential beau from... ME! Reason: Successive history of dating failures provides evidence that dating is just more of the same.
We've noticed a lot of comments where some of you have mentioned being happy being single. In this video, we're here to ask, what if you aren't?
I wouldn’t know what to do. Would I be good? Could I even be good? I feel like I’m a bad person yet somehow I don’t drive people completely away.
@@silentbanana209 well it's about yourselves. I mean are you doing good things because of people or because it's helping you to be better person ? You know what I mean ? 😁👍
@@Nik0_07 Yea. Thanks man/woman/anything else.
Sometimes it's hard to tell if I'm happy or not. If this is where I belong or where I convince myself I belong.
Never had any relationship before till now, even though I am already 28 years old.. sorry I thought I can relate...
But really cannot relate. It made me confused instead.
You feel like something is missing in your life. You yearn for someone to love and hold you. For someone who you can love and share a vulnerable side of yourself with. That is a sign your heart wants to be loved.
Yearning for love is a universal feeling. What actions do you think could help fulfill that yearning in your life?
@@Psych2go Perhaps to be honest about our intentions. So we can find other people who are on the same frequency.
@@Psych2goEncouraging your partners telling that she is valuable person for me when her family got a little to hard on her....
HEY GOOD MORNING MY FRIEND, I BELIEVE THAT YOUR SO RIGHT, I HAVE BEEN SINGLE FOR ABOUT 3 YEARS NOW AND IT'S HARD TO FIND A GOOD WOMAN NOW DAYS, MARRY XMAS 🎄 AND HAPPY NEW YEARS 🏆, HAVE A BLESSED DAY TEE 🙏💯🙏💙💪
That is all true, but once the torment of loneliness wears you down enough, you get used to it. Not all of us needs a companion or partner in life. Let alone deserve one. Some of us is destined to rot up in loneliness.
I like the idea of a relationship more than the actual relationship.
That's why I'm single.
Exactly. And as I read in a book long, long ago: very few living people can compare to a conversation with the cleverest dead authors you can have in your mind every time you open a good book.
Same here. I guess seeing litterally everyone around me having relationships that actually works, damn well knowing i never will get to posess this ability, let alone the idea of having a partner must be nice.
Same
OMG ME TOO. I like the idea of being with someone, then I look at my options and go, "...No thanks."
It's like going to a restaurant and leaving because of the menu.
@@anderstermansen130 seriously? i keep seeing unhappy couples, and thinking - mah i don't wan't that
Some of us are rationalizing as to "why it's best for us to stay single," but deep down is the fear of being unlovable that is holding us back...
this is 100% me. I feel like i’m not worthy of being loved by someone else right now.
that's just my situation right now. i really do want to connect with someone but I've always hold myself back because I know what my flaws are, fearing that those things will be the reason we'll drift apart. i really, really love them, but i keep telling myself that i can't be with them, and that i shouldn't
The hardest thing is wanting a relationship, being really lonely, but not being able to get into one and having zero hope of getting one. People say "just work on yourself and put yourself out there, also don't be afraid of rejection", but when you struggled with depression and social anxiety all your life, doing anything of that feels harder than rocket science and scarier than the darkest and deepest void
I relate to this so much
Slow and steady successes and you'll get there. You can't expect to meet all the requirements for healthy self and relationship when you need to work on basic self-esteem and confidence. These things are built over years. Slow and steady!
@@Peter-rn5bu yeah, except by the time you get your shit together, assuming you ever get your shit together, you are like at least 40 y/o and still emotionally immature and have a lot less experience than your peers and most of them by this age already are in long term relationships or have families. And dating a lot younger people than you is morally ambiguous, assuming they would like an old fart like you in the first place. Essentially, the longer it takes you to get into a relationship, the harder it gets
@@Peter-rn5bu I'm gonna be 30 in 6 months with zero relationship experience, no idea how to give, what to take or how to play the game, and most women my age just ain't got time for that. Slow and steady though, right? Ha.
How much you can expect from yourself depends on your past successes, and if you have none, even just consistently doing bare minimum is an achievement. Keep improving, keep achieving. And if you are consistent and keep upping your standards you will get somewhere. Keep learning and achieving and figure out what you want and how to get it. That is passion and drive. If you want it a lot, you will work hard for it.
You could meet someone who is a little late to the journey as you are, but I think that there are many people don't take self-improvement very seriously. Keep in mind that your own capability and personability will somewhat reflect that of your potential partners. Who you settle with will be reflective of your own capability and personability. Also, your partner will only love you as much as you love yourself, and you will only love them as much as you know how to love yourself. Focus on yourself, for capability and a more accurate awareness of options in the future. Take care and figure out good rest and relaxation as well.
Even if you are late to start your journey of independence and autonomy, if you keep working at it, you will be proud of yourself. Figure out what you want, how much you want it, and commit to what you can, baby steps first, and maybe you can ride a wave in the future, but for now, just focus on figuring out what to achieve right now with your current capability and circumstances, and pushing yourself to commit sustainably/continuously.
I think an opportunity for people in these kinds of situations is that they know what being at rock bottom (of social skills, and anxiety issues), feels like and they have an opportunity to reflect more clearly about their values and personal goals.
People are drawn to personalities which are independent and capable. That includes your own personality. Strive to be someone who works on good personal values, and may good interpersonal relations be achieved as well.
I've had a Enough 😡😡😡
Timestamp
0:00 intro
0:41 Conflicting emotions
1:16 Craving Independence
1:54 Emotional exhaustion
2:41 Lack of personal fulfillment
3:18 Desire of exploration
4:32 final thoughts
(A Nightmare before Christmas movies Refercenes ) 🙂🙂🙂
Oh my. Time out. Good luck.
Cool
Lmao my last situationship(She was the one not wanting a relationship, I did and I'm never entering a situationship again. They're dumb.) showed a lot of these signs, she had no clue what she wanted. She said she didn't want a relationship but all her actions whenever she didn't filter herself showed she did. In fact like two month after we stopped talking she ended up getting a partner. And she thought I was insane for trying to tell her she clearly wanted a relationship, I think my evidence at this point is borderline undeniable.
What the hell are you on about? There was literally.no point or reason for the emojis or points before and after the timestamps
@@lolnamelollastname9788 You knows What, Maybe psych2go is very better with others comments than me or My options ideas, But won't works for me.
The idea of being in a relationship hits so different to me. I love imagining myself being in a relationship which felt so freaking unreal like reading a book character's love life. But in reality I'm not feeling I'm into being in a relationship. I watched your "why higly intelligent people struggle with love" video and that felt so much like me. And I wanna add another reason for it. I'm afraid of being in a relationship. Because of the relationships that I saw, the relationship that my parents shared etc. And I'm freaking out when think of being in a relationship because I feel like it's gonna turn bad whatever you do or whoever you are in relationship with.
As an 17-year old Autistic Male, this is so relatable, I think this is a result of us having a fearful Avoidant attachment style from childhood, particularly from emotional bullying and alienation from school.
I appreciate you sharing your perspective. Have you found any specific strategies that help you cope with the challenges associated with a fearful avoidant attachment style?
@Psych2go Still working on that, you guys should make a specific video about Fearful Avoidant Attachment since it's often not talked about compared to the other 3 styles.
@@Psych2goi’m a 24 year old autistic male. the way i’ve learned to cope is to abide by a more stoic attitude towards everything and the belief in fate. if it’s to happen, it will. if it’s not to be, then it won’t. take the risk and take the next step no matter how risky. we may not be able to control everything or even how we may feel about something but we have total control on how we react to what’s happening
Thank you for sharing :) We will discuss with the team about this topic @@anonymous_g001
As a 16 year old autistic Enby (Formally male)
I can agree with you as well.
it's like y'all know exactly what I'm going through in this very moment 😭 thank you
SAMEEE
We hope this resonates :) Did you relate to any of these signs?
@@Psych2go I did! and now I understand at least the surface of what to focus on! thank you so much for guiding all of us through life 🖤
I literally watch the title of the new psych2go video because it always sums up my actual state, I stopped reading the horoscope BCS this channel already reads my present
@@Psych2go currently Yes, literally I feel this everyday
For me it's the opposite. I don't want to be single, but my heart wants to be single. I didn't want it to be this way, but I feel so happy with my life by myself and every time I try to bring someone else into my life it feels like I'm splitting my time between being happy and being in a relationship. For my entire life I convinced myself that I just haven't found the right person, but in recent years I have decided that I need to stop looking. If said person show up: great! And if they don't: I'm already happy by myself, no reason to change a team that's winning.
That is an excellent point of view to look at it from.
That's inspiring, thanks😊
I can relate. I'm doing just fine being single. I love treating myself.
I completely agree with this perspective. I enjoy being single and am I no rush to be in a relationship 💯
Your perspective is both insightful and liberating! Embracing happiness in solitude is a powerful stance. How have you found ways to balance personal contentment with the potential for a relationship, and have you noticed any positive changes in your life since adopting this mindset? 🌟😊💕
Love and affection.
Care and Compassion.
It's all most people really want, myself included.
But then there's the expectation vs. the reality of a real relationship.
I think my biggest fear when it comes to not being single is having someone be willing put their whole life and happiness on the line to be with you. It feels like a resposibility I'm not sure I can handle. I mean I bearly keep myself afloat most of the time so what grounds do I have to even help others in this area? Looking at my parents I just wonder how much they've been through and if I would have the courage to go on the same journey with someone.
Thanks for sharing! The fear of responsibility is valid. Have you thought about taking small steps in building a connection, allowing trust and understanding to develop naturally?
Absolutely, for me the whole thing just seems like something insurmountable, just too big for me. Combine that with low self-esteem, trust issues, social anxiety and an ingrained belief that I’ll never get married and it’s not looking good🤦♂️😢
As someone who has been in and out of relationships. I just want to say that there’s nothing wrong with choosing to stay single if a relationship isn’t convenient to you (anymore). But yeah it definitely comes to a point as to whether or not you want to have that kind of special companionship. Especially when we’re talking about filling in an empty space and whatnot.
After 31 years I realized I want something completely unrealistic, which is someone who actually loves me and who I am instead of loving what I can do and how I can provide. That's why I'm single.
relationships are based on giving and getting, though
@lognomodeimeme yeah except people don't care about giving what they get, though
@@CyberHermit92 focus on what you can give, then you can expect back - and just leave if they don't
@lognomodeimeme doing exactly that is what made me give up over a year ago. I'm about to be 33, do you think I will waste the rest of my life chasing ungrateful women in hopes of maybe getting the bare minimum one day?
@@CyberHermit92 idk, suit yourself
Guess 4 out of 6 signs you mentioned applied to myself
-craving independence
-conflicting emotions
-emotional exhaustion
-lack of personal fulfillment
For someone like me who has a low self esteem it really hits hard for me
If you work on yourself; working out, self care, hobbiws, competency in wrk.
You will feel better as you raise your overal value in yourself. It is fractal and will trigger an inevitable reaction within.
@@lukaswilliams5851that's the problem sometimes. Having low esteem often made you ask yourself questions like "what's the point" and utterly stopping you from moving
@valerkos93
Shalom and namaste
THE point of mental, emotional, spiritual, physical self care and improvement is that you ARE worthy, important,and valuable. Usually, we care for (take care of) assets (things) outside of us; however, each of us is far more valuable than any inanimate object. Caring for ourselves is a result of seeing us as valuable as another person--who is just as flawed and as great as us. Each of us IS worthy of care and investment (improvement).
Although we may not feel blessed and worthy, the mere fact of our existence makes us so.
It could be worse man. You could have been in my shoes. I have zero self esteem at all. You have a low self esteem, is infinitely better than having None, at all.
I was kinda shocked once I saw this notification, because it’s exactly what I’ve been going through. I had let a couple failed relationships completely warp my perspective about being in one. Now I see the bigger picture so thanks for giving me clarity about it.
I'm glad to hear that the video provided clarity for you. It's important to learn and grow from past experiences. How do you plan to apply this newfound perspective to your approach to relationships moving forward? :)
@@Psych2go I definitely want to try dating again eventually. I’ve just been waiting for the right person but I think I will try to talk to people more!
I'm in college, and I am still in my Freshman year. I have seen many of my friends in relationships, even a few of them engaged. Whenever I hear my co workers talking about their lives and their relationships, I just feel this sense that I am missing out on things. I've always questioned it, but this channel is helping me understand. Thanks for your helpful videos!
I've always been happiest single. Relationships are cool ... until they're not.
It's great that you know what makes you happiest. What aspects of being single bring you the most joy and fulfillment in your life?
Thats why you decide actively every day to work on the relationship, and WANT it to work. You honestly expected a man to carry the whole relationship for you?
Lol relationships arent always happy. You have to come down to earth and realize that everybody is human.
I agree. I’ve been single and lonely my whole life. However, whenever I hang out with my friends/family and their SO’s I get to see first hands the ups and downs and start to reconsider
My heart literally aches about having a future partner to spend my life with but in reality I am content with being single. It's such a struggle but I have learned that just because my heart wants something, I have to listen to my brain and wait patiently for the right person to come and not rush into things for the sake of my emotions. I've learned this the hard way but I don't regret it because now I have the mindset that if I wait patiently, in the end both my heart and my brain will be happy :)
This is such a great mindset ! I rushed into a relationship to make my heart happy while my brain wasn’t. I ended up with an emotionally broken heart and a mentally damaged brain.
I talk about how happy I am single, because, I feel head over heels for someone that I couldn't be with. Going on dates with strangers from the internet after that feels so wrong. I'd rather wait for the right one to show up naturally even if that's never. I couldn't give up that feeling in a relationship...
I'm really happy this channel exists. I've been watching for a while and it has helped me identify some good and bad things within myself and I've grown as a person ever since. Keep doing what you're doing because what you all do is amazing!!!
I'm only 14 years old , and this channel really helps me understand my inner world 👍
This video taught me very much information about my main problem, thank you so much 🙏
I'm glad to hear that the channel has been helpful for you! It's wonderful that you're exploring and understanding your inner world at such a young age. If you ever have more questions or thoughts, feel free to share. Is there a specific aspect of your inner world that you found particularly insightful from the video?
yesss , about failed experience of my friends , almost everyone around had a failed relationship, so i decided to don't try anymore
@@JustDiegooYou're 14 years old, my g. Wait until you're 18 with relationships. Like... JESUS!
Why are y'all so impatient? 14 isn't the age to get relationships!
@@sirbughunteryess , I don't want relationships now , as you said , i want to wait until 18
In my opinion 14 years old is a peak of adrenaline in the blood of teenagers , trying out everything they can
But I'm different 💀
me tooo
If you were in a relationship and it failed, there's also one more thing other than the fear of losing someone - the struggle of being responsible for a relationship you're supposed to be in. Sometimes I think it would be a nice to have a gf, but then I realise how awfully bad I am at keeping my own life in check, and it would be even worse helping significant other with their problems if I can't even get my shit together. It's all nice having hugs, kisses and spending time together, until a problematic situation of your partner appears, where you can't help him/her, but you're sure you should do so. This just completely shuts down the idea of relationship for me.
Honestly, I’m single because I don’t want to pass on the trauma of my last relationship onto others. I know we all carryover the effects of what happened to us in the past as lessons but I want my next relationship to be fulfilling. Not just to be with someone because everyone thinks I’m single for too long
I know that feeling, sometimes we need time to heal fully before moving on. I wish you the best.
Recognizing the impact of past experiences and wanting a healthier future relationship is a thoughtful approach. How have you been working on healing from the past trauma, and do you have specific criteria or goals for yourself before considering a new relationship? 🌱💖🤔
When you experience your first relationship you’ll want another.. it’s hard to remain without a person who hugs you, listens to you, kisses you
But I want to be alone because I’m not ready yet, I’ve been with a guy with narcissistic traits and I haven’t healed yet, also I don’t have time for a relationship… but it would be nice to have someone
It sounds like you're going through a healing process after a challenging relationship, and it's important to prioritize your well-being. Taking the time for self-care and personal growth is crucial. Have you considered engaging in activities or hobbies that bring you joy and fulfillment in the meantime?
@@Psych2go well obviously… this is why I said I don’t have time 😂 I’m not like those people who jump into other relationships only to forget about their past, it’s unfair for their new person. I’ve been going to therapy too, but it’s hard to feel good again after the betrayal
I can relate, and I'm also going through a long healing process.
I appreciate that you are so honest with yourself, and that you recognize that you don't want to bring the unhealed parts into your next relationship. I think that it shows that you are growing from your experience.
My ex wasn't narcissistic, but has some narcissistic traits...and that was difficult enough. (She also still carries damage from her childhood, instead of getting the help that she needs. That's another reason why I'm taking the time to heal before getting involved with someone else too soon, because I've seen firsthand what unhealed trauma looks like.
So, I commend you for your commitment to healing.
@@j.d.aengus yes I truly don’t want to ruin my next relationship because my ex ruined me and I don’t want to do that to anyone. Of course these people don’t want any help, they don’t see the problem with themselves…
I want to improve to give my best but it’s hard to change. But at least I can overcome my pain… sooner or later
When after 10 or more relation ship the end is the same : you gave 300% love and kindness etc and recieve so few (even if you try to adapt to your partner to fit perfectly). It s frustrating. And in my case it always turn bad. My partner funaly sees me more like a best friend, a confidant, a sister😢. And love desappear from his eyes. I'm just here to solve hos problems. To be the strong arms he can be secured in. Always this one way. Never the opposite. So I explain my feeling and it always breaks. They told me I m tve best friend ever but not the partnrr they wanted. I m tired of all these relations. Now I 'll always love myself (and my kids).there plenty of other wen on earth to take care of the mens remaining. I ve done the job ma.y many times.time to retire (I'm 41😢). Nice channel anyway😉
Timestamps
1). Conflicting emotions 0:41
2). Craving independence 1:16
3). Emotional exhaustion 1:55
4). Lack of personal fulfillment 2:41
5). Desire of exploration 3:18
Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. Sorry this is so late. 💙💙💙💙💙💙
Yo! I just got called out big-time from a UA-cam video at like four in the morning. And I can’t even be mad about it because four out of five of those were on point.
I think someone on TikTok or whatever said that what you want most in your relationship is what you were missing when you were single or something.
I used to think about relationships during my teenage years and university but now as 25 with a full time job I feel I'm too tired to look for a partner, get to know him, imagine our hipotetical future, going out with him, meeting eachother families etc etc. I would rather use my time to improve myself, my skills. Besides I've been single for whole my life, don't have hunger for sex or touch, so it's not a big deal for me.
I thought I'm the only one in this situation, thanks for letting me know that people like us exist
Wrong
That's fine too. If anything, I'm a little jealous. I used to be like that. After I moved out when I was 20, I was only thinking about my career, going to college, getting my first job, feeling any sort of autonomy that I was denied from growing up. Any thoughts of a relationship was more or less an after thought, something that would happen when I had my shit in order. Unfortunately, my mental health has completely fallen apart. I've grown sick of my toxic family, so now I find myself pushing and pulling against the idea of wanting to feel the comfort of another individual. My mind tells me to fix myself until I'm better, but my heart tells me that by the time I do so, I'd have let another decade slip past me, only this time it wasn't an abusive parent who made me waste a decade, I've done it to myself.
@@coolgirl2044 if it takes u 10 years then it is what it is its not wasted lol
Prioritizing personal growth and skills while being content with being single is a valid choice. How have you found this focus on self-improvement impacting your overall satisfaction and fulfillment, and do you have specific areas you're excited to develop further in your life and career? 🌟💼🤔
heart says ”i want to be something for someone”brain says ”take a look at the mirror and think again”
I want it but now I’m wondering if I’m even deserving of it. Dating seems like a matter of what you can give. The overthinking thoughts are If you don’t have this or that, you aren’t worth it.
Thank you for being honest about your feelings :) Feeling deserving is a journey. What are some qualities or aspects about yourself that you appreciate and think others might value?
@@Psych2gomy willingness to help, to listen and offer comfort. That’s probably the only thing going for me since height, wealth and looks aren’t on my side.
Well, I definitely relate to point 1. I am 37, have never dated before and am socially isolated, and I am scared about trying to put myself out there. I'm afraid of getting hurt, of hurting someone else, of not being able to find someone who can accept my Asexuality, of not finding someone with whom I share mutual attraction, and quite a few other things. ... Maybe this is something I should work on this year.
Hey I'm Ace too! And Aromantic 😊
Work on it...😊
@@kaseyford1490
I'm demiromantic, so I'm on the Aromantic spectrum as well. Nice.
@@zlumi428
We'll see what happens. 😅 Juvenile kangaroos (my parents and I are volunteer wildlife carers for WIRES) take a lot of time to care for.
ONE OF US ONE OF US (Angled Aroace here!)
These are my thoughts on a daily basis. Whenever I get lonely it hurts, but then I see what my friends and family have to go through in their relationships. If you’re just not ready then you’re better off
Happily single here, several years now. All the negatives of relationships you mentioned, that’s what occurred multiple times. Quite frankly, I’m over relationships. End of story.
As autistic woman I'm overwhelmed by just everyday's interactions with environment. Every past relationship was exhausting. To keep inner peace and balance I prefer to stay single.
Imagine being able to choose whether or not you want to be single. What a blessed existence...
How is this channel describing everything in my life PERFECTLY?
i relate to this video so much, i want to be single rn because my last relationship ended badly and left me feeling like i should work on myself and build my castle before inviting another into it, but my heart has a good idea of what my perfect partner looks like, and even sees all those qualities in one of my female friends and wants a relationship with her.
You have no idea how much sense of relatability i experienced when watching this video, especially reason number 1, i am conflicted to be in a relationship out of fear that i might drag down my partner with all my life problem and made them suffered, so i instead kept my feelings towards myself and watched my crush dating one of my friend and instead of ending it there my heart kept creating new crushes that i cant be with and seeing them taken away by my other friends...
I feel attacked by how accurate this is
wow... this video is spot on. Although the primary reason i'm single rn is mostly because i haven't found anyone that i like, this was absolutely the case for me in high school, and even somewhat the case now.
Idk how but psych2go always seems to give me the right kind of video according to my present situation. It's like getting your answers delivered to the doorstep of your life via youtube.
That's great to hear and we're happy to help :) What specific videos have been most helpful for you lately?
Your channel does much to help me and others understand our selves. This is in the top five. Thank you so much. I'm conflicted about evveerryy thing, lots to learn. Thank you v much. Xxx
I'm glad to hear that our channel has been helpful for you! Exploring and understanding oneself can indeed be a journey. What specific aspects or topics from the channel have resonated with you the most so far?
Wow this hits home. I’m a loner and the thought of my life being so intertwined with someone else sounds utterly repulsive to me. And yet, my heart aches when I think about being in a relationship.
But I have never been good at talking to women or flirting nor have I ever had much confidence with them, and at my age, that is highly unlikely to ever change
I’m like this. I just don’t want a relationship because I have high academic/ career goals. I also have many hobbies, so in between all of that, I don’t have time for a relationship
Brain. When you don't know whether to listen to your heart or brain, ALWAYS follow your brain! Your heart LIES
I just wish i could have had one relationship. Every time someone shows interest in me, i get the heartbreak and abandonment before ive ever gotten the love and affection part.
35 years single and not one of them could anyone give me benefits to dating that either didnt equal out to the negatives or werent easily gotten on my own. I want a hug, ill buy a doll
this video resonated with me a lot. as much as I’d like to experience real romantic love in my lifetime, I’m too avoidant and fearful to ever pursue one, or to not try to escape if someone tries to initiate a relationship with me.
I also don’t think that I want to have to commit in the way that I’d be expected to, because the whole idea of it feels limiting.
Would love to see something about Aromanitcs and knowing if it’s a crush or attachment issues or even just strong platonic feelings. As someone with Autism who struggles to understand their feeling this would really help because I think I’m aro/ace but it’s confusing 🙏
I'm kinda in the same boat. Not autistic but I am almost never attracted to anyone any type of way.
This!!! I'm ace and questioning aro, it's impossible for me to sort whether my feelings are romantic or platonic, especially considering I've never dated before
I'd just get a dog.
Relatable
So you want a stupid slave, not a healthy relationship.
I’m just nervous of heading back to square one if I get too invested
The things that were described, I look at it as a way to learn more about myself and what I will and won't tolerate when I decide to look for romance. Right now, it is about being comfortable being on my own.😊
Also the figurines/emojis/the gumballmen/woman in your video are really cool, cute and i would like to give the editor and artist an applause❤
Thank you so much :) I'm glad you appreciate the creative elements in the videos!
Yeah its hard deciding you want to roll as a single person but your heart doesnt
Didn’t think I’d be attacked like this…
This video resonates with me. I’m ready to open my heart again. I’m scared but willing ❤
This video really spoke to me. I never got into a relationship before and the last time I had a crush on someone, they rejected me for a stupid reason. I'm over that now, but now I can tell that more people like me and can't figure out what to do. My main reason that I don't want a relationship yet is the fear of hurting the feelings of others who have a crush on me. But, my heart yearns to have a fulfilling relationship and have a partner who understands me and loves me for who I am. It's hard trying to find someone like me these days because of how we have changed psychologically. This is my message to those struggling with this. Thank you.
As someone who's around MANY couples, especially involving people that I used to love, I realized that most of my past crushes have always hated me, but never really told me. Some would tell me I'm "too quiet", or just too ugly, or just depart from me and stop talking to me entirely. Every time I tell myself that I should be single because I know for myself that I can't keep a steady relationship. I'm too quiet, too unsettling to talk to. People always tell me that I look depressed or have "The Eyes Of A Hunter." I'd always get made fun or my my crushes, and so I to departed from them. But any time I'm around couples, I yearn for love more, and more, but have the fear of embarrassing myself, or having too many problems to deal with, or worse. For this reason, I stay single. This video was really relatable. I may not be able to overcome my personal problems, but I hope others who are in this situation can. ❤
I'm 24, i never had a relationship, and i'm fine with being single. Almost all relationships around me look like both partners playing roles. Most of them even backstab each other for tiny mistakes.
Sure most people love being in a relationship, but i won't navigate into that minefield
All these points I can relate to. I'm taking time out of relationships to work on CPTSD and trauma. If the right person comes along I may consider a relationship
But if my future is being single, I will accept it
Thank you so much for sharing this video
Right now, I know I'm not trying for a relationship because I don't like extended sharing of space and resources, and that's just another person in close proximity you have to navigate. The independence and self-fulfillment really apply to me, and leaning on someone else in my personal life for that kind of support is not a thing I want.
I like how you describe relationship: someone to love and support you.
Also its important to communicate .
I had many relationships living and having children with "partners " . None of them loved or supported me. And I let it happen. Until I left them. Very important to communicate.
I only recently found out. 😮
You learn as you go along...
I think my life could have plenty of meaning without a relationship as I believe life has a lot more to offer than romance and physical touch. However, I find myself wanting those things, and it seems like it would be unjustified of me to settle for someone I don't truly love or hooking up to fill the void. I know I'm greyace and greyaro. I'm not sure if there is more at work here, I just assume I'm different. I'm not necessarily unhappy single either. I feel like I've made peace with the idea that I could live my whole life and never experience it.
I feel this.
@@lynnkay417 It's definitely not just you. I'm right there with you. 💜
I'm having this conversation with myself now, I'm telling myself its okay to be single but most days I need someone to hug me.
This same thing can also apply for friendships. I've been conflicted whether I want to find new friends because I've been scarred in the past when I made a mistake that ruined my friendships. Like, I'm scared that when I make new friends and I make a mistake, I'll get abandoned again...
For me it’s about not being ready to be in a relationship even though I’m 35 because I’m a mess and I don’t see why anyone would want to put up with me in my current state, nor would I want to put anyone through having to deal with me. I feel like I’ve been working on myself for ages but I keep falling into the same old bad habits. One step forward and two steps back 😓
I want to be alone because:
- in my last relationship I was used as an "emotional bandage", I was used as a consolation after my ex's previous relationship and I promised myself that I would not do the same to anyone else.
- I bought an apartment, I'm moving to a new city and I know how much work and time it will take - I don't have the time needed to build relationships and I don't want to take anyone's time
- I know I need to be alone for a while, to calm down a lot of things in my head
My heart wants to love and be loved. I miss this feeling. Many times during the week or when I go to bed I think how wonderful it would be to have someone to talk to, spend romantic time with, feel supported and present. But unfortunately this is not the right moment in my life.
I never knew how much I needed this
i'm a student in high school. I wanna be single because i want to maintain my GPA, sports, and hang out with my buddies. but i want someone who i can hold and love and tell anything to
I can't deny that I have asked myself this question repeatedly, especially when I found myself surrounded by friends who have long since been a relationship. While I do find fear of rejection and emotional exhaustion to be plausible reasons why it may be difficult to seek out a partner, for me its more of a matter of circumstance & timing. I can't help but feel as if there never was or is a time in my life that seems appropriate. Commitment and devotion is required to both preserve and develop a relationship, but if one is currently going through a period of time in their life that requires them to share their time and efforts to achieve results, such as a career or advanced education, I feel as if this rationing of emotions can be as fatiguing as it could be damaging. And the worse part is that you won't be the only one suffering, which might be the reason why I am so apprehensive when it comes to romantic relationships.
This has been happening to me for a long while now. So it’s like I want to be somebody, but at the same time I don’t. I enjoy being single, but I feel that it can get depressing sometimes. I tried to be in relationships so many times and it didn’t work out due to self doubt and getting turned down. I think I’m not ready yet.
I'm 19, and this video kinda relates to me at my current moment. I've been feeling really depressed and hopeless lately, and I always think about relationships and that I believe I will never experience one, it ruins my mood every time I think about it and I can't stop including things to do with the future also. I've been single my entire life, and I would love to experience a relationship, but I doubt I'll never meet a girl who loves me and that I also believe I'm not ready for a relationship as I don't even love myself yet, so I'm not ready to love someone back even though I want too! I also don't have the time or money, and I would rather focus on myself to improve myself, but relationships always come into my head...
This was exactly what i was feeling! Thank you for making videos like this for everyone.
Thank you for clarifying my feelings. Sadly I dont think it changes anything, but at least I can undrstand myself a little better.
You're off to a bad start if you think the heart does any thinking. There's nothing I can get out of a relationship that I don't already have. I'm in an intimate and fulfilling relationship with myself. I'm a keeper. Love yourself.
I feel like rejection is something I've realized hits me harder than I want it. I'm probably single because I freeze in conversations, and I'm awkward. Sometimes, I literally don't know what to say because I lack experience or knowledge. Plus, I've been feeling a female led relationship might be right for me. Heart says yes to that, and my brain replies, "You might be right" 🤔
Watching this like I have a choice
As a person with Autism, I’m currently feeling this. I made a decision a long time ago that if I were to fall in love I would take my time to be sure he’s God fearing, trustworthy, and reliable. I also decided to be married before I give my body away. I grew up in a broken home without a dad. My bio dad left before I was born and I was raised by a single mom. I always had this fear that if I settled down and have kids the same thing will happen to me and my potential kids. I came across guys before who just wanted to sleep with me so I didn’t trust them at all. Most guys only look for one thing. That’s why a lot of times I feel like I’m better off on my own. I don’t see myself sleeping with or having a kid with a man I will never marry or have a long term relationship with. If being single and child free is what it takes for me to avoid raising a broken family then so be it.
I know thats a hard decision but it's a good one. As a Christian I'm proud of you and God is too. Keep going sister may you find your future husband. And allways remember, if it's not in this life, it will be in the next one. Stay strong!
@@mundayne811thank you! 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰
I am facing this issue alot, I really want a relationship but I know I am not ready for one and I haven't moved on properly from the last one.
I am perfectly happy single yet it hurts sometimes alot.
It's understandable to feel conflicted about relationships, especially when dealing with unresolved emotions from a previous one. Taking the time to focus on personal growth and healing can be beneficial. What steps are you currently taking to work through these emotions and prepare yourself for future relationships?
@@Psych2go Currently, I am trying to find my own way through life, trying to move on with it. Focusing on myself and trying to get myself into a better environment and learn how to control my emotions and to not act upon random impulses. I have a long way to go, but I will eventually work through it. When I am ready i will find the right one.
OH MY GOD THE TIMING!!!
I don't need this video to know this is exactly how I feel. My heart has always wanted a relationship, but as I grew up I realized the type of relationship I want is unatainable, impossible. At this point, I don't even know how to act about relationships anymore and everytime I think someone may like me, I have a bunch of jumbled emotions and become more emotionally distant from that person (and sometimes others around me) out of so many fears, which sucks since I want an emotional relationship over anything else. I don't even care about the physical aspect as much (though sexual things make me very uncomfortable, so maybe not anything like that. That also may be part of the reason I'm confused about my stance on romantic relationships). It's like I'm in a constant fight with my heart. I have to constantly tell myself to just "let my heart beat" because I almost subconciously try to control and trap my heart. I have to let it beat, though, or else risk a crappy emotional state that I don't want. I hate it. There's been many a time I wished to stab my heart (symbolically, not literally... For the most part) and wished that, if I were to get murdered, they would stab or shoot my heart. Nothing but my heart. It's not a healthy mindset but I'm too afraid to just let something be. I'm trying, though, I'm really trying (hence the "just let my heart beat" thing)
Yea my standards are too high for a bunch of these so called normal human beings function
And then there's me, still single because i'm just too shy to speak to literally anyone plus i have difficulty to communicate. A perfect combo that makes me single even though i really want a relationship 🙃
I always go with logic instead of emotion. Logic ALWAYS outweighs emotion. That being said, I'm comfortable being single for the fact that it's something I've never had and I can't imagine sharing my life with someone because of both lack of experience and lack of interest. I think about having to share a space and what comes with that territory, and it overwhelms me and drives me away from the idea of a relationship and marriage altogether
Logic, that's the way I've thought of it
Seeing this in my suggested videos is very weird... This feels personal. lol
Congrats for the video. I too try to do like you for my channel
i think i just miss the independence and freedom of choice. My past was dark as most people's are. But my past molded me to have ideals I have today and still have to try and integrate in my day to day life just being in a relationship. I love my partner but im afraid of not getting the full chance to pursuit what I want or need due to feeling like I can't even leave the house on my own without worrying if she feels lonely or sad if I'm gone. It makes me wonder what my life would be like if I stayed single. Its about the opportunities I possibly missed just being by myself. The accomplishments. Not saying in the relationship there aren't any, but I've become more of a caregiver than a partner at times it feels like. Personal development is a big milestone in my partner's life that hasn't necessarily been accomplished. It's hard to deal with when external issues are involved in our day to day life. Its a desperate tug and pull. It definitely more or less takes a toll on who or what i've been and become.
I don't choose to be single. Single chooses to be me
I’m not the one who wants to be single, so when that special someone and I come into each others’ lives, my parents will just have to come to terms with the fact that some rando guy they hardly know is claiming their _now-very-much-an-independent-adult_ baby boy as his Special One (and vice versa). 💞
Well, the real problem is when you want to have a girlfriend but no one likes you. So being single is all you can be right now...
Well since everyone else is also sharing:
I do agree with what is presented.
However. Being single and having the desire to remain single has started a process of incredible personal and emotional development.
I'm kinder to people. More patient. I'm working on my relationship with my mom. Spending time with hobbies. The growth I'm experiencing is something I treasure and I know that I will meet someone at some point again. When I do I will be a better person and partner than I ever was.
But rather than jumping into a new thing for the wrong reasons and just because I can't bear being alone anymore, possibly ignoring red flags, I'll ride the wave of growth until I feel the desire to put myself out there again.
This video brought to mind a line from a song by Sleep Token that's been rattling around my brain for approaching a year now:
"I might break and bend to my basic need to be loved and close to somebody"
Is a sad line, but it's definitely how I've felt for a long time now
Sheesh, this really hit home. Got some things to think about now...
Constantly having to deal with this clash. Hurts even without thinking about relationships. Do want to find love but lack the social aspect (from being shut away throughout childhood and teen years against my will AND suffered bullying when in school) and fear being abandoned. Especially when things are overwhelming.
Thoughts: Ouch! I recognize myself too much!
Ways I'm Struggling: With not wanting to take the risk to open up or be vulnerable again (and again, and again). Not trusting my ability to discern who is really good for me. Feeling disconnected from myself and a bit lost in life, yes. I bet on a level - I'm protecting a potential beau from... ME!
Reason: Successive history of dating failures provides evidence that dating is just more of the same.
Hey Psycho2Go looking forward to see a video on attachment avoidment!
I lived with my parents in a isolated house in my entire life, I got no brothers or friends, but I like being alone for some reason.
Thanks for useful and valuable video as always ❤❤❤
No problem :) We hope this helps! How many signs did you relate to?
wow one of your best videos! thank you
I needed this, thank you guys 🙂