Do you think you're attached or in love with them? Watch this video to watch which one you are in. This video might help you next. Watch next: 5 Differences Between Falling In Love and a Crush ua-cam.com/video/bvthEoVfVQc/v-deo.html
We hear you, some are single too! This video might help you. Watch this next: You're Not Broken, The Dating World Is ua-cam.com/video/pNKJgD9r3G4/v-deo.html
Love. Is. NOT. an. Emotion. That is where people go very wrong. Emotions come and go, but when you actually love it's so much more. It's steadfast and deeper.
@@anna15412 You can only be "loved" if you are made to feel safe. You can only "give love" if you are able to enable the safety of another. If you can do neither, love is not a part of your experiences.
“Healthy love should add value and meaning to your life. … Healthy love…gives us a feeling of being understood, and accepted, feeling safe and secure, as well as a strong sense of belonging, and a significant improvement in our overall wellbeing.”
Yes, you are right. Healthy love is characterized by mutual respect, trust, and support between partners. It involves open communication, emotional safety, and the ability to maintain individuality within the relationship. In a healthy relationship, both partners feel valued and understood, and there is a balance of give and take.
What is love? Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. (Bible, 1 Corinthians 13:4-7)
"Agape (pronounced ah-ga-pay) is the classical Christian form of love-love that is patient, kind, and never demands reciprocity. ... [John] Lee admits: "I found no saints in my sample. I have yet to interview an unqualified example of agape, although a few respondents had brief agapic episodes in relationships that were otherwise tinged with selfishness." -Hatfield & Walster, A New Look at Love
I'm 25 years old and have never been in a relationship. I just met someone about a month ago and everything clicked so quickly. I keep having nervous thoughts though that my love for them was built somewhat on my prior loneliness and wanting to find a partner... but I think this video was the final thing I needed to make me confident it isn't. They check every box you presented. I've never felt more safe, validated, cared for, or comfortable being myself with anyone, and every day, all of these feelings only get stronger
I’m 24 years old and I have a similar situation. This is the longest relationship I’ve ever been in a year and four months but recently I’ve been having doubt Because I got into the relationship so quickly, (1 month of talking) and I thought I was doing it because I was lonely and low-key desperate, but that person checks off every box that I had and I pretty much had really high standards and surprisingly they checked off a lot of those boxes. But I am more comfortable being myself around him, and I feel cared for and validated, even though sometimes I have anxious thoughts. I grew up with a toxic family and only ever seen toxic relationships so right now I’m at the stage where I’m recognizing.
@@mayazepeda Omg thats lovely, yes getting into a relationship with past trauma is hard. All you have to do is take a step back and look at what the relationship has bought you and how much you've grown. Also I feel this is worth a mention but these doubts you are having only stem from you, it is always up to you how to control them and if you want to, talk about them with your partner. So happy for you keep going, there will be ups and downs in life but have faith in yourself and each other.
Honeymoon phase, love bombing... Every couple has been through that and said the same thing. A year later they're taking about seperation/divorce Be optimistic and happy, but don't ve deluded.. This isn't the strongest most unique love on the planet, even if it feels like that. And if it's happening too quickly and centred on very superficial lovey dovey things then slow down... . I was writing an article titled "why being brown is disadvantageous to being a terrorist"
I was attached to my ex-wife. I was able to see that she did not add value to my life but had a hard time leaving because I didn’t think anyone else would love me. I’m alone and struggling now, but that is better for both of us than if I had stayed.
Learn to love yourself, enjoy time with yourself. Then you will be able to find a healthy relationship. I too was attached to my ex. 15 years of emotional abuse. I am in a much better place. You can be too.
In the same boat right now. Day 3 of a broken marriage. But this video really helped show me what I was dealing with. Sadly, we have a child in the middle. I’m sad but I know it’s already healthier without that person to try to satisfy.
Timestamps 1). Coping with conflict 1:03 2). Consistency 1:35 3). A feeling of safety 2:11 4). Healthy boundaries 2:53 5). Validating needs 3:29 6). Added value 4:15 Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. Sorry this is so late. 💙💙💙💙💙💙
Explains my last relationship with my ex; with me being the person who didn't care as much as I thought. Unhealthy attachments growing up led me to hurt a person who never deserved it
Dude I came to the comments to write the exact same thing. I felt terrible leaving my wife of 4 years (together 8 total). I cared for her - I didn’t want to hurt her, I want her to be happy, but I was in the relationship due to attachment, not love. I felt no spark of excitement when trying to plan birthdays, gifts, dates with her. She didn’t deserve it, and I should have realized it much much sooner. You’re not a bad person. Learn from your mistake, free yourself of the guilt, so you can keep living and find someone you do love and want to make happy.
These are reactions that a Fearful-Avoidant would have and I’m sure your exes were on the Anxious-Preoccupied part of the four relationship styles. I fall into Anxious Preoccupied and am in the middle of breaking up with my Ex Girlfriend who happens to be Fearful Avoidant, and she’s doing a lot in therapy to get to the core of her trauma. It could be your trauma responses that is keeping you distant, pushing you away from those you say you love. I know that’s the way it feels for me, so this video came along just when I needed it!
Same here bro. At the few final months together, i felt no spark, just doing all the things couples do with no effort put into it. Neglecting her emotions and needs.
@@killerddn9392 That's the thing with you avoidants. You only chase sparks. You're emotionally unavailable and invest nothing to build the relationship on an emotional level, so then you get "bored". Same cycle over and over.
@@brennam954 maybe so. Now come to think about it, i completly neglected all her emotions, needs to share, etc. i found it annoying when she wanted to talk and share about the day. All day long, the only messages btw us were "love you, good night", and i'm not even sure it was "love". On my side, i didnt share anything with her, convincing myself that i focused on my career for our own shake. -.+ It was just my excuse-.+
Love is something given freely with nothing wanted in return. Love is unconditional it does not disappear because of one misunderstanding or a few arguments. Love is kind, love is honest, love is. Attachment on the other hand is an intense suffocating feeling mistaken for love. Attachment does not trust easily, It’s controlling. When you become attached to someone anxiety grows and the fear of losing them sets in which stops you from living in the moment and enjoying each other. Instead of loving each other time is spent on pointless arguments mainly caused by insecurities.
Attachment doesn't mean any of those things. Attachment can be simplified to loyalty and staying with someone at their side. Whether it's beneficial or detrimental is a different matter.
Sometimes my relationship with my partner (8-years relationship) turns into Emotional invalidation scenario because life has been particularly difficult for him recently. He belittles trouble I go through in my life , but then I have to explain why he is being wrong and he understands. Final word - don’t give up on a relationship without talking through your issues
I’m starting to wonder if healthy relationships actually exist. I thought I was in a healthy relationship for 22 years but…..nope. Now I’m alone, lonelier and needier than ever
I have a healthy relatiomship!!!! This made me worry a lot since we started dating in high school (now we're married) I always felt like we just depended on each other too emotionally, because of how our parents were. But, it turns out we're normal. We do have our fights and all, but wow we're actually normal. 😂❤❤❤❤❤ thank you for the video!
@@IceESole normal to us means, respecting eachother (not checking each other's phone, social media, calling/texting every 5 min we leave the house) you shouldn't feel like your suffocating with your partner, or that you have to fake your personality. We have older couple friends, and based on their experiences we're on the right track to a long healthy relationship.
Seeing this made me realize that I should really let my ex to enjoy what he have rn. The relationship that they have is just like this and I just can’t accept it since ofc I still love him. As an avoidant, I can’t give that validation and security. Giving myself another perception lke this made me wish them both love and happiness.
I noticed that I do some of the things wrong like criticize and disregard his dreams and I have noticed that I am becoming controlling and that is not the person that I want to be. There are things that he does wrong, but I do wrong to we definitely care for each other. We talked and we set boundaries so hopefully we can fix our relationship. I want to be better and he wants to be better so we are working together to make it work.
I felt deeply related to this comment because I noticed the same thing on me and the worst part is that I really never realized until now. Even when I talked to my partner recognizing my mistakes he’s having second thoughts. I’m happy that you both were able to talk and try again . Give yourself a second chance to do things in a more constructive way 💖 it’s not easy recognizing this, you’re strong!
@@xmonimor thank you so much 💕it sucks because my partner has those thoughts too but he wants to be here for me and our baby on the way, I know I push too much and worry I just don’t want anything bad to happen. I know he’s just trying to be a man that loves, protects and provides for me and he works hard. I worry about getting hurt so I push him away, I feel like everyone else prettier than I could ever imagine no matter how many positive things he tells me. This is my 3rd relationship in my entire life and the way I feel for him is completely different. But I didn’t know I carried such behaviors with me and such insecurities. We start counseling this week and I hope we fix things🥺💕
@@xmonimor I hope you and your partner work things out it can be so hard to get rid of all these bad thoughts or behaviors we had no clue about, you both deserve happiness and a healthy relationship especially a healthy relationship with yourself. I wish nothing but the best for you!! And I hope you have a life full of love and happiness 💕
I really feel with you and I kinda have the same problem, I feel so bad about it. Is there any way that we can talk more about this? I would like to share our situations and maybe help each other and find some recognition. Kind regards, Sanne
Just realised I recently revealed my feelings to somebody and the only thing I could genuinely come up with in the moment was that the person was fun. I realised I was just attached. Kind of ruined the friendship with that one
For what felt like forever I was with someone who checked all these boxes. But I stayed because I thought if I loved her enough that would soften her up and make her nicer. Until I realized that it’s not my job to fix an abuser and I deserve better. She was dragging my mental health down so I finally managed to leave. Took a lot of work in therapy but I could see the old me. I dated around but nobody wanted someone meaningful or lifelong. I kept trying until it became too hard. I gave up and thought maybe my ex was the best I could get. For years, 5 to be exact I thought I’d be alone for life. So I stuck to making friends and that was nice but my other half was missing. Until I met someone new that was one of my only healthy relationships. I finally feel whole. Even if it took a few years. My point being if your with an abuser or got the courage to leave them, you’ve been healing yourself and dating around with what feels like forever; Don’t give up on love. Clichés can be true and you will wind up finding someone who cares about you and treats you how you need. You’ve got this ❤
😭 I’m really upset that I never knew this… I’m always doing what I can to help her, and make her feel better even when she feels self doubt… unfortunately, she told me just last night that she doesn’t want to date anyone anymore… and that broke me… she knows I love her… and I’ve been single for my entire life (minus 2 months of a “meh” relationship)… all I want is to love a woman, and be loved by her as well…
She sounds emotionally unavailable and immature. Don't waste your efforts on someone who can't give back what you give. You will find someone who deserves you.
Thank you for another amazing video. My last visit home, between deployments, felt a lot like this... there was always criticism and I could never do anything right. There was always criticism and it was rarely favorable criticism. My wife has been my center of focus and our kids have been points of focus for me over the last 20 years... but it's all gone now. I feel it's my fault because I had to travel overseas for work to make ends meet and they grew up with out me... now I'm not a part of their lives. It hurts...
This is so inspiring. My mind has been consumed with thoughts of him. It's been 6zmonths since he left, and the pain feels like a physical ache. The laughter, the memories, the adventures they're all gone. I've tried to distract myself, but the harder I try, the more I think about him. How do people truly move on? The memories are still so vivid, and I miss him more than words can express.
i relate to all the things you mentioned, i know that i have made some mistakes in my relationship with the woman i love, she are apart for now, but i truly believe that we will be reunited again, and do so much better this time, at first i thought it was just my attachment after she broke up with me 2 months ago, but my feelings are just getting stronger everyday, she gives me motivation to presue forward to be a better person for her as well as for myself, i know that its not a 100% that we will be back together, but i know that the kind of love we shared was really special, and i believe in real love from first sight, and this is what we had, and this is what im trying to repear
Literally my relationship I had with my ex until now. Crazy how it describes the attachment I had for him and the toxic behaviors my ex had towards me. Was blinded from what I thought was love ended with me being the attached one.
Why wasn't this video there when I needed it the most? I really learnt the hard way that what I thought was my 'first love' was just this-unhealthy obsession; and the person who I thought was the love of my life was clever enough to lure me into this act of 'love' only to ruin my self esteem and question everything about me. Not a day went when I could go about my everyday life without clinging on to him only to feel the validation and security that I never got. As a result I only got worse in everything I was good at and I literally went insane to the extent of having suicidal thoughts every other day. I stayed with him only because I thought if I lost him there would be no one else who'll ever love me again. In the end I dumped him for my own good and it's been more than a year since, and I don't have a single regret about having done so. This video brought back all the memories of those 6 months that I was with that man and I hope every person who's going through something similar finds this video and comes out of the trap set up by some evil predators roaming around freely in our society.
This video is really good. It made me better understand what I want and need out of a relationship. I was recently broken up with because I wasn't growing as my own person. My ex was my main focal point but while focusing on her I forgot about what I need, this has sent me into a downward spiral and before I crashed she decided to exit my life. While I am not in a good place at the moment and heart broken I also realised that I need to see a professional and build something for myself before allowing someone else into my life. I am wanting to focus on emotional and financial stability. Once I have done that and explored my emotions to the fullest, only then will I want someone else into my life.
I told my crush I loved them about 2 weeks ago now and they rejected me. Although that wasn’t my favoured outcome, we’ve still remained friends. This is best case scenario. I’d rather be rejected and keep a friend than be rejected and lose that friend
I'm glad for you, but if I may give you an advice, be sure to respect the other person's limits. I unfortunately had to reject someone who said they loved me, but I wanted to stay friends. But they've disrespected my limits so much and so frequently that with time I ended up blocking them everywhere I could cause I couldn't stand the situation anymore.
If you like them, it's very hard to " unlike" them especially if he/she wants to stay friends. That's why some people don't want to stay friends with ex-crushes. My advice to people who got rejected is, focus on yourself for several weeks / months and then focus on someone else.
@@theRadBrad2022I'm currently going through this. I'm in love with her. She knows and has always been sweet and mature about it. She's not ready to be in a relationship, but even if she was, there's another guy she'd be with. I love her. I just don't want to be in love with her. Ugh.
Tjis video was convenient haha. Currently dealing with trying to make the right decision on whether I should go back to a person who I've been on and off with for a while...but for some reason I can't let it go. I want to let it go, but I'm scared of not having them around anymore.
"This video was an absolute game-changer! 🙌 The way you broke down the psychology behind [specific topic] was so insightful, and it really got me thinking about how I approach things in my own life. Keep up the amazing work-your content is both inspiring and educational!"
This cheered me up, im plagued with doubt and honestly was scared what the video will show of my relationship, but the points show my bf is the best, he truly cares for me as i do for him :D
I'm at the beginning of a new relationship and i found this video super helpful, thank you! I have dated around a bit and had one previous relationship several years before this new one, so i was making a lot of comparisons to my experience and struggling to know if things are going well, especially since there's a lot of discourse on the internet about good and bad relationships. Im glad to see that we're doing things right, and while im not always infatuated by him, I feel a sense of safety and care for him.
I’ve been going through a decline in my relationship. I care for him a lot. Been trying to figure out what’s going on. I just…. don’t make the time for just us anymore. We used to sit in the parking lot of my old workplace literally all night just talking or listening to music and just being…. and since I’ve moved in…. it’s just gone…..
I really want these studies and kinds of videos that take neurodivergence into account. Because, oftentimes times the way for example myself being on the spectrum. I am often pretty straightforward and really should take myself at face value. Not to mention on how to provide proper safety especially when it comes to talking about goals, failures, and what not. I always felt these studies are very much specifically about two neurotypicals and advice that works for them. However, the way someone with ADHD or ASD see and interprets the world can be very different.
I love someone i do all of things which makes her happy , and then it makes me happy even if she doesn't know that I did it but I love her smile , like if she seems happy with someone else I just bring them together so that she can laugh 😅😊
I thought that technically being attached to someone meant that you loved that person... I don't know, like aren't you attached to your friends? Don't you love your friends?
I would summarize this well-researched video as: "'If you feel understood, safe, and that person makes your life lighter, you're probably in love." Honestly, I liked the content, but it didn't seem like it was made by people who've been in long-term relationships. It felt a bit too romanticized. Sometimes life can be boring, and everyone goes through tough times.
Definitely relate to most of these.. all these lil details are so vital to a relationship.. understanding your partner is everything.. plus it's stuff like this we can learn to improve our relationship.. we have to be taught at times to understand more.. respecting your partner and being open will be a benefit to a solid relationship
Sigh, she gave me 5/6... she was beautiful kind, compassionate, fun, fulfilling, but she was scared to speak up for herself and pulled away when I encouraged her to do so. It was hard to let her go, but when I did, she could feel how much I respected her, and I could feel how much she respected me. Maybe one day she'll be ready, but for now my quest continues
This video really put into words how I was feeling. Something was off and now I know those were signs of unhealthy attachment. Hope this helps me move on!
Thank you ❤️ it made me see things clearer I had just went threw a break up ...let this person move in ...tell her everything...all the red flags ..I'd try to listen..but I'd miss two words and if I was directed to what I needed to do I'd freak out and forget...than I'm being yelled at being told I never listen..or care when I drop a negative situation
I'm autistic..and selfless.....I put people ahead of my own ... feelings.... I tend to drop situations that are negative..if it's (a first thought )thing or situation that holds old bagged I will.( Forgive and forget) People don't see things the same way in surtin situations.....but familiar settings in situations I've been threw ...are the reason I can drop it 👏
Omgosh! Congratulations! We have a lot of relationship videos on this channel. Free feel to watch them! It will help you improve your relationship and communication even better!
This comment is unrelated to the current topic, but I just discovered my next step in life! Thank you, I think. I'm marking this comment as a timestamp!
I really like how easy to understand these videos always are. great job! actually this video reassured me that I actually AM in a healthy relationship. I didn't have doubts per se but I do tend to be a little naive at times and overlook things.
Ive been dating my bf for 1 year (yay!) But hes so sweet and caring, but im distant and scared. Ive been in many relationships that havent ended well but with my bf now, im so dead to feelinga that i just sigh whenever he talks to me, i also have BPD, i love him so so much and hes so cool but im scared for our future.
Really thought I loved this guy, he hurt me not physically but he controlled what i did and left me silent treatment if I talked to other people. He would make me block people. So much worse stuff continued and I still loved him after he broke up with me. I watched this and realised, It wasnt love what he had, he used me for my body and I was just attached. Thankyou for this. Update: I have moved on and honestly never felt better. Time heals guys x
@@QuennieLongakit hey, Hope your ok. Ive been doing better now and my advice is focus on your self. I know thats what everyone says and at first i didnt take peoples advice, but try it. Hope you feel better xx
I'm the toxic one, but I only realize that after she left me for good. In this time, I've reflected so much how I can do better for her, how I'm controlling her, how I mess her feeling and mind. At first, I'm so frustrated, sad, clueless etc. But after some times, I know that she's trying so hard to love me, I understand that my one small mistake has led her to not trust me anymore, she doesn't feel the same with me anymore, hardly tell how she's feeling. It is still a fresh breakup, but in this short time, it gave me times to think and see reflection of my action. I did some journal talking about my feeling, and it really help me see how I really am. But in the end, I truly care for her. I wanna see her happy again, but I can't endure the feeling that she's going to be someone else's. At least, meeting her let me see myself better, I'm sorry my love, you suffer so much with me, I don't deserve you.
I'm just attached. So is he. Been together 15 years. It's been this way the last 4 years. He cancels plans. Never goes out with me just to punish me. I've never been more lonely.
I was kind of scared going into this video because this is my first relationship and i didn’t want to jinx myself, but turns out he’s the perfect man for me. I just hope im the same for him!
I think I'm in love but I'm scared. He already said he loves me. I told him I'm not ready yet and he understands. We can be honest about anything with one another.
I was in an unhealthy relationship but didn't know it at the time! I experienced a majority of these even though the person I was with seemed like a "nice guy" to everyone
I think what we are talking about in this video, is an emotion towards the other person. I believe LOVE IS NOT THE EMOTION. Why? When we say we love somebody we should ask ourselves are we willing to sacrifice everything for them. If not, we do not love them. Love should be something very deep, selfless. Love is a will not a feeling. Feelings come and go. Desiring everything good for the other person stays. Also, good love is someting that feeds us with happiness that even if we don't get anything in return, we are still happy to be a good person for the others.
When I had a crush on this girl I knew that she had red flags and was a jerk (via her ex and what my crush tells me) but I still gained a crush on her, the last straw was her completely ignoring me despite us being friends 😢
Relationships or love are such a mystery. It honestly feels like people need to be in a relationship because it's an accommodation and a supposed safe haven for a person. Like if someone sees their ex get into a relationship, then they feel the need to be into one because they feel vulnerable. Perphaps they see their ex know their worth, moved on, realized they are more fish in the sea-- and that other person fewls jealous, exposed and tries hastily get into a new relationship they try to recreate the lovey dovey feelings they had with their ex then get attached. Honestly it's kinda frustrating to see this happen to your friends and family. I've seen this happened. Two friends of mine dated for a year and it seemed they were soul mates but I guess they didn't know the ropes of being in a relationship because well... it was their first time being in one. Years passed by and one of them got into a relationship then that other person seemed to panicked because she moved one and so on. It was like who could outdo each other and try to have the most fun and be the most happy without each other. To this day they looked hurt and honestly miserable when going on and off the dating market
My therapist has done a great job helping me understand my divorce and why I wanted it, but this video was a great reminder to me of some of the feelings (or lack thereof) that led me to realize I wasn’t in love and probably hadn’t been. I’ve struggled with the guilt, but this video helped remind me of some of the reasons why my divorce was justified. I still wish I had realized it much sooner, but better late than never.
Thank you for this. I'm enlightened indeed. Perhaps I just feel sympathetic towards the person I'm with today. Or perhaps it's just all attachments. I'll consider it.
I really dislike hearing of some of these concepts now… 2 months after my first relationship ended on me getting dumped and not being able to move on. I thought it would help to watch this, but I’m not sure it does after all.
Do you think you're attached or in love with them? Watch this video to watch which one you are in. This video might help you next. Watch next: 5 Differences Between Falling In Love and a Crush ua-cam.com/video/bvthEoVfVQc/v-deo.html
We hear you, some are single too! This video might help you. Watch this next: You're Not Broken, The Dating World Is ua-cam.com/video/pNKJgD9r3G4/v-deo.html
Thank you for watching! We hope this helps you :)
Thanks psych2go, this helped me alot know I know whats is the diffrence of love and being attached as always thanks😊👍👌
Love is beautiful
I've been watching for 3 years. Wish I saw this channel sooner.
Love. Is. NOT. an. Emotion.
That is where people go very wrong.
Emotions come and go, but when you actually love it's so much more. It's steadfast and deeper.
Does love can be classified as a desire?
@@nath_takahashi no. Desire can tie in with love but it's it's own thing
Wonder if love is a mood then. 🤔
@@OdysseyHome-Gaming no. Moods are based on emotions.
Love is a decision.
1. Coping with conflict
2. Consistency
3. A feeling of safety
4. Healthy boundaries
5. Validating needs
6. Added Value
You dropped this 👑
Here you go 👑
All of these are just contributors to forms of safety
These are skills everyone needs to learn. You may love without these skills and be hurt but it does not mean you don't love.
@@anna15412 You can only be "loved" if you are made to feel safe. You can only "give love" if you are able to enable the safety of another. If you can do neither, love is not a part of your experiences.
“Healthy love should add value and meaning to your life. … Healthy love…gives us a feeling of being understood, and accepted, feeling safe and secure, as well as a strong sense of belonging, and a significant improvement in our overall wellbeing.”
Yes, you are right. Healthy love is characterized by mutual respect, trust, and support between partners. It involves open communication, emotional safety, and the ability to maintain individuality within the relationship.
In a healthy relationship, both partners feel valued and understood, and there is a balance of give and take.
What is love?
Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking,
it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil
but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts,
always hopes, always perseveres.
(Bible, 1 Corinthians 13:4-7)
Baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me no more
I wrote an article titled "why being brown is disadvantageous to being a terrorist"
"Agape (pronounced ah-ga-pay) is the classical Christian form of love-love that is patient, kind, and never demands reciprocity. ... [John] Lee admits: "I found no saints in my sample. I have yet to interview an unqualified example of agape, although a few respondents had brief agapic episodes in relationships that were otherwise tinged with selfishness." -Hatfield & Walster, A New Look at Love
@@mattheahanse57Bible, Isaiah 13:16... Peace and love 🙏 😇
crying thanks alot...
I'm 25 years old and have never been in a relationship. I just met someone about a month ago and everything clicked so quickly. I keep having nervous thoughts though that my love for them was built somewhat on my prior loneliness and wanting to find a partner... but I think this video was the final thing I needed to make me confident it isn't. They check every box you presented. I've never felt more safe, validated, cared for, or comfortable being myself with anyone, and every day, all of these feelings only get stronger
Dear stranger, that’s so cute! Happy for you🎉
That's just the honeymoon phase. Enjoy it while it lasts.
I’m 24 years old and I have a similar situation. This is the longest relationship I’ve ever been in a year and four months but recently I’ve been having doubt Because I got into the relationship so quickly, (1 month of talking) and I thought I was doing it because I was lonely and low-key desperate, but that person checks off every box that I had and I pretty much had really high standards and surprisingly they checked off a lot of those boxes. But I am more comfortable being myself around him, and I feel cared for and validated, even though sometimes I have anxious thoughts. I grew up with a toxic family and only ever seen toxic relationships so right now I’m at the stage where I’m recognizing.
@@mayazepeda Omg thats lovely, yes getting into a relationship with past trauma is hard. All you have to do is take a step back and look at what the relationship has bought you and how much you've grown. Also I feel this is worth a mention but these doubts you are having only stem from you, it is always up to you how to control them and if you want to, talk about them with your partner. So happy for you keep going, there will be ups and downs in life but have faith in yourself and each other.
Honeymoon phase, love bombing... Every couple has been through that and said the same thing. A year later they're taking about seperation/divorce
Be optimistic and happy, but don't ve deluded.. This isn't the strongest most unique love on the planet, even if it feels like that. And if it's happening too quickly and centred on very superficial lovey dovey things then slow down...
.
I was writing an article titled "why being brown is disadvantageous to being a terrorist"
I was attached to my ex-wife. I was able to see that she did not add value to my life but had a hard time leaving because I didn’t think anyone else would love me. I’m alone and struggling now, but that is better for both of us than if I had stayed.
I was also attached to my ex husband. Nice to see a different perspective from an opposite gender
Stay strong, you’ll get through it! There are people you don’t even know that are pulling for you
Learn to love yourself, enjoy time with yourself. Then you will be able to find a healthy relationship. I too was attached to my ex. 15 years of emotional abuse. I am in a much better place. You can be too.
In the same boat right now. Day 3 of a broken marriage. But this video really helped show me what I was dealing with. Sadly, we have a child in the middle. I’m sad but I know it’s already healthier without that person to try to satisfy.
@@Norfolk440 stay strong
I don’t like how coincidentally personal these videos have been getting lately 😂
We can read your mind
@@Psych2go I feel honoured in a way lol
Skyline
😂😂😂
Ikr I just got out of a 6 year relationship
This video made me realize neither I ever truly loved anyone nor anyone ever truly loved me.
same and it hurts tbh…
Or... you should love yourself first?
so true.. god bless
@@indirayovitasariI don't think you necessarily have to have a high opinion of yourself inorder to love.
Coping with conflict is the biggest thing…
She would constantly just cold shoulder & withdraw affection. I needed this.
@@mr.Kumar-jn9foomg same with me
Yup here too
They don't do it to be mean but it really hurts
Timestamps
1). Coping with conflict 1:03
2). Consistency 1:35
3). A feeling of safety 2:11
4). Healthy boundaries 2:53
5). Validating needs 3:29
6). Added value 4:15
Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. Sorry this is so late. 💙💙💙💙💙💙
❤ thanks
Thanks❣️
I wrote an article titled "why being brown is disadvantageous to being a terrorist"
Explains my last relationship with my ex; with me being the person who didn't care as much as I thought. Unhealthy attachments growing up led me to hurt a person who never deserved it
Dude I came to the comments to write the exact same thing. I felt terrible leaving my wife of 4 years (together 8 total). I cared for her - I didn’t want to hurt her, I want her to be happy, but I was in the relationship due to attachment, not love. I felt no spark of excitement when trying to plan birthdays, gifts, dates with her. She didn’t deserve it, and I should have realized it much much sooner. You’re not a bad person. Learn from your mistake, free yourself of the guilt, so you can keep living and find someone you do love and want to make happy.
These are reactions that a Fearful-Avoidant would have and I’m sure your exes were on the Anxious-Preoccupied part of the four relationship styles. I fall into Anxious Preoccupied and am in the middle of breaking up with my Ex Girlfriend who happens to be Fearful Avoidant, and she’s doing a lot in therapy to get to the core of her trauma. It could be your trauma responses that is keeping you distant, pushing you away from those you say you love. I know that’s the way it feels for me, so this video came along just when I needed it!
Same here bro. At the few final months together, i felt no spark, just doing all the things couples do with no effort put into it. Neglecting her emotions and needs.
@@killerddn9392 That's the thing with you avoidants. You only chase sparks. You're emotionally unavailable and invest nothing to build the relationship on an emotional level, so then you get "bored". Same cycle over and over.
@@brennam954 maybe so. Now come to think about it, i completly neglected all her emotions, needs to share, etc. i found it annoying when she wanted to talk and share about the day. All day long, the only messages btw us were "love you, good night", and i'm not even sure it was "love". On my side, i didnt share anything with her, convincing myself that i focused on my career for our own shake. -.+ It was just my excuse-.+
Love is something given freely with nothing wanted in return. Love is unconditional it does not disappear because of one misunderstanding or a few arguments. Love is kind, love is honest, love is.
Attachment on the other hand is an intense suffocating feeling mistaken for love. Attachment does not trust easily, It’s controlling. When you become attached to someone anxiety grows and the fear of losing them sets in which stops you from living in the moment and enjoying each other. Instead of loving each other time is spent on pointless arguments mainly caused by insecurities.
well said
This your explanation has described my current relationship. What do I do?!
Love is. ❤
This saved me
Attachment doesn't mean any of those things. Attachment can be simplified to loyalty and staying with someone at their side. Whether it's beneficial or detrimental is a different matter.
I just realized I'm toxic now
LOL better hope your girl doesn't see this video😂
Same
Hey . You shouldn't beat yourself up over it too much. Realize the mistakes, admit it, and fix em
How do you know its not a girl commenting?
Quite insane realizing you’re the villain
Just happened to me
"or you feel that you don't have any better options"
ouch that's true
Sometimes my relationship with my partner (8-years relationship) turns into Emotional invalidation scenario because life has been particularly difficult for him recently. He belittles trouble I go through in my life , but then I have to explain why he is being wrong and he understands. Final word - don’t give up on a relationship without talking through your issues
ohh so if u see red flags then talk to them about it, don't just leave because you think they'll never change when you haven't tried talking to them
I’m starting to wonder if healthy relationships actually exist. I thought I was in a healthy relationship for 22 years but…..nope. Now I’m alone, lonelier and needier than ever
Your relationship with someone else can only be as healthy as the relationship you have with yourself
I have a healthy relatiomship!!!! This made me worry a lot since we started dating in high school (now we're married) I always felt like we just depended on each other too emotionally, because of how our parents were. But, it turns out we're normal. We do have our fights and all, but wow we're actually normal. 😂❤❤❤❤❤ thank you for the video!
Thank you for watching! Loved your story!
What's "normal" 💁🏽♂️
@@IceESole normal to us means, respecting eachother (not checking each other's phone, social media, calling/texting every 5 min we leave the house) you shouldn't feel like your suffocating with your partner, or that you have to fake your personality. We have older couple friends, and based on their experiences we're on the right track to a long healthy relationship.
@@LupitaMartinez63018 🙌🏽🙏🏽🥰..I agree with you..
i strive for my relationship to be like this
Seeing this made me realize that I should really let my ex to enjoy what he have rn. The relationship that they have is just like this and I just can’t accept it since ofc I still love him. As an avoidant, I can’t give that validation and security. Giving myself another perception lke this made me wish them both love and happiness.
I noticed that I do some of the things wrong like criticize and disregard his dreams and I have noticed that I am becoming controlling and that is not the person that I want to be. There are things that he does wrong, but I do wrong to we definitely care for each other. We talked and we set boundaries so hopefully we can fix our relationship. I want to be better and he wants to be better so we are working together to make it work.
I felt deeply related to this comment because I noticed the same thing on me and the worst part is that I really never realized until now. Even when I talked to my partner recognizing my mistakes he’s having second thoughts. I’m happy that you both were able to talk and try again . Give yourself a second chance to do things in a more constructive way 💖 it’s not easy recognizing this, you’re strong!
@@xmonimor thank you so much 💕it sucks because my partner has those thoughts too but he wants to be here for me and our baby on the way, I know I push too much and worry I just don’t want anything bad to happen. I know he’s just trying to be a man that loves, protects and provides for me and he works hard. I worry about getting hurt so I push him away, I feel like everyone else prettier than I could ever imagine no matter how many positive things he tells me. This is my 3rd relationship in my entire life and the way I feel for him is completely different. But I didn’t know I carried such behaviors with me and such insecurities. We start counseling this week and I hope we fix things🥺💕
@@xmonimor I hope you and your partner work things out it can be so hard to get rid of all these bad thoughts or behaviors we had no clue about, you both deserve happiness and a healthy relationship especially a healthy relationship with yourself. I wish nothing but the best for you!! And I hope you have a life full of love and happiness 💕
I really feel with you and I kinda have the same problem, I feel so bad about it. Is there any way that we can talk more about this? I would like to share our situations and maybe help each other and find some recognition. Kind regards, Sanne
@@Sannetje2004I’d like to! Sharing thoughts is something good 💕 if you want we can share email or whatever you prefer
Now I know I'm not in the right relationship 🙂
Just realised I recently revealed my feelings to somebody and the only thing I could genuinely come up with in the moment was that the person was fun. I realised I was just attached. Kind of ruined the friendship with that one
For what felt like forever I was with someone who checked all these boxes. But I stayed because I thought if I loved her enough that would soften her up and make her nicer. Until I realized that it’s not my job to fix an abuser and I deserve better. She was dragging my mental health down so I finally managed to leave. Took a lot of work in therapy but I could see the old me. I dated around but nobody wanted someone meaningful or lifelong. I kept trying until it became too hard. I gave up and thought maybe my ex was the best I could get. For years, 5 to be exact I thought I’d be alone for life. So I stuck to making friends and that was nice but my other half was missing. Until I met someone new that was one of my only healthy relationships. I finally feel whole. Even if it took a few years. My point being if your with an abuser or got the courage to leave them, you’ve been healing yourself and dating around with what feels like forever; Don’t give up on love. Clichés can be true and you will wind up finding someone who cares about you and treats you how you need. You’ve got this ❤
😞 congrats my friend
@@Burntcooki12 You’ll get to that point too, I believe in you and anyone who needs to hear it ☺️
0:01 Baby don’t hurt me… don’t hurt me no mo…
😭
I’m really upset that I never knew this… I’m always doing what I can to help her, and make her feel better even when she feels self doubt… unfortunately, she told me just last night that she doesn’t want to date anyone anymore… and that broke me… she knows I love her… and I’ve been single for my entire life (minus 2 months of a “meh” relationship)… all I want is to love a woman, and be loved by her as well…
i'm really sorry for you. you sound like a genuine guy and i'm sure you will find someone :) you deserve to be loved too!
She sounds emotionally unavailable and immature. Don't waste your efforts on someone who can't give back what you give. You will find someone who deserves you.
@@annnika5361 thx
This has made me very sad cause I realize that I lack all these things in a relationship where I'm really attached to a friend.
I feel this. Definitely applies to more than just romance.
Thank you for another amazing video. My last visit home, between deployments, felt a lot like this... there was always criticism and I could never do anything right. There was always criticism and it was rarely favorable criticism. My wife has been my center of focus and our kids have been points of focus for me over the last 20 years... but it's all gone now. I feel it's my fault because I had to travel overseas for work to make ends meet and they grew up with out me... now I'm not a part of their lives. It hurts...
Going to therapy would be helpful 🙂
Bless you. I hope it works all out for you. You deserve it.
This is so inspiring. My mind has been consumed with thoughts of him. It's been 6zmonths since he left, and the pain feels like a physical ache. The laughter, the memories, the adventures they're all gone. I've tried to distract myself, but the harder I try, the more I think about him. How do people truly move on? The memories are still so vivid, and I miss him more than words can express.
A spiritual counselor? That sounds fascinating. How can I reach out to him?
Thank you so much for sharing this I really appreciate your honesty and openness.
i relate to all the things you mentioned, i know that i have made some mistakes in my relationship with the woman i love, she are apart for now, but i truly believe that we will be reunited again, and do so much better this time, at first i thought it was just my attachment after she broke up with me 2 months ago, but my feelings are just getting stronger everyday, she gives me motivation to presue forward to be a better person for her as well as for myself, i know that its not a 100% that we will be back together, but i know that the kind of love we shared was really special, and i believe in real love from first sight, and this is what we had, and this is what im trying to repear
Literally my relationship I had with my ex until now. Crazy how it describes the attachment I had for him and the toxic behaviors my ex had towards me. Was blinded from what I thought was love ended with me being the attached one.
Why wasn't this video there when I needed it the most? I really learnt the hard way that what I thought was my 'first love' was just this-unhealthy obsession; and the person who I thought was the love of my life was clever enough to lure me into this act of 'love' only to ruin my self esteem and question everything about me. Not a day went when I could go about my everyday life without clinging on to him only to feel the validation and security that I never got. As a result I only got worse in everything I was good at and I literally went insane to the extent of having suicidal thoughts every other day. I stayed with him only because I thought if I lost him there would be no one else who'll ever love me again. In the end I dumped him for my own good and it's been more than a year since, and I don't have a single regret about having done so. This video brought back all the memories of those 6 months that I was with that man and I hope every person who's going through something similar finds this video and comes out of the trap set up by some evil predators roaming around freely in our society.
This is so what i needed rn thank you ❤
Hope this video helps you!
I just rememberd that my ex dosent even like me.... 😓
@@Vent...988Aww
I'm sorry for you
Why do u care ?@@Vent...988
This video is really good. It made me better understand what I want and need out of a relationship. I was recently broken up with because I wasn't growing as my own person. My ex was my main focal point but while focusing on her I forgot about what I need, this has sent me into a downward spiral and before I crashed she decided to exit my life. While I am not in a good place at the moment and heart broken I also realised that I need to see a professional and build something for myself before allowing someone else into my life. I am wanting to focus on emotional and financial stability. Once I have done that and explored my emotions to the fullest, only then will I want someone else into my life.
I told my crush I loved them about 2 weeks ago now and they rejected me. Although that wasn’t my favoured outcome, we’ve still remained friends. This is best case scenario. I’d rather be rejected and keep a friend than be rejected and lose that friend
That's mature!
I'm glad for you, but if I may give you an advice, be sure to respect the other person's limits. I unfortunately had to reject someone who said they loved me, but I wanted to stay friends. But they've disrespected my limits so much and so frequently that with time I ended up blocking them everywhere I could cause I couldn't stand the situation anymore.
If you like them, it's very hard to " unlike" them especially if he/she wants to stay friends. That's why some people don't want to stay friends with ex-crushes. My advice to people who got rejected is, focus on yourself for several weeks / months and then focus on someone else.
@@theRadBrad2022I'm currently going through this. I'm in love with her. She knows and has always been sweet and mature about it. She's not ready to be in a relationship, but even if she was, there's another guy she'd be with. I love her. I just don't want to be in love with her. Ugh.
Tjis video was convenient haha. Currently dealing with trying to make the right decision on whether I should go back to a person who I've been on and off with for a while...but for some reason I can't let it go. I want to let it go, but I'm scared of not having them around anymore.
"This video was an absolute game-changer! 🙌 The way you broke down the psychology behind [specific topic] was so insightful, and it really got me thinking about how I approach things in my own life. Keep up the amazing work-your content is both inspiring and educational!"
This cheered me up, im plagued with doubt and honestly was scared what the video will show of my relationship, but the points show my bf is the best, he truly cares for me as i do for him :D
I'm at the beginning of a new relationship and i found this video super helpful, thank you!
I have dated around a bit and had one previous relationship several years before this new one, so i was making a lot of comparisons to my experience and struggling to know if things are going well, especially since there's a lot of discourse on the internet about good and bad relationships. Im glad to see that we're doing things right, and while im not always infatuated by him, I feel a sense of safety and care for him.
I needed to see this. This made me understand more about the difference between in love and attachment. Thank you.
I’ve been going through a decline in my relationship. I care for him a lot. Been trying to figure out what’s going on. I just…. don’t make the time for just us anymore. We used to sit in the parking lot of my old workplace literally all night just talking or listening to music and just being…. and since I’ve moved in…. it’s just gone…..
I will do 1 Pushup for every like i get on this comment 💪🏻
Bro is a bot 💀🧊‼️ - ice cube
No you won’t? The only way to prove
it is through recommendeds
bro is still getting likes no matter what
@@I-have-homework-to-do because the likes are botted
Are you in every video?
1. Coping with conflict
- Codepency -
2. Consistency
- both consistently engage
Spending time , verbal affection , physical affection , emotional intimacy
3. A feeling of safety
- Should not judge or critisize
4. Healthy Boundaries
- Mutal trust , Respect , GEnuineness and care
5. Validating Needs
-
6. Added Value
- attachment -> Low self - esteem , dependency , insecurity , anxiety , neediness
I need this right now to bring clarity to the kind of relationship I have.
I really want these studies and kinds of videos that take neurodivergence into account. Because, oftentimes times the way for example myself being on the spectrum. I am often pretty straightforward and really should take myself at face value. Not to mention on how to provide proper safety especially when it comes to talking about goals, failures, and what not. I always felt these studies are very much specifically about two neurotypicals and advice that works for them. However, the way someone with ADHD or ASD see and interprets the world can be very different.
I knew it wasn't love, but didn't know how to define what I felt: now I know it was just an attachment.
Thanks for meaningful and valuable video as always ❤❤❤
Thank you for commenting!!
I love someone i do all of things which makes her happy , and then it makes me happy even if she doesn't know that I did it but I love her smile , like if she seems happy with someone else I just bring them together so that she can laugh 😅😊
Your timing is perfect 🙏🏻😓 Thank you very much!
What is love?
Baby, don't hurt me.
Was looking for this, thank you!
I can't unhear that now...
I thought that technically being attached to someone meant that you loved that person...
I don't know, like aren't you attached to your friends? Don't you love your friends?
I would summarize this well-researched video as: "'If you feel understood, safe, and that person makes your life lighter, you're probably in love." Honestly, I liked the content, but it didn't seem like it was made by people who've been in long-term relationships. It felt a bit too romanticized. Sometimes life can be boring, and everyone goes through tough times.
the bgm of these videos are so calming 🫶💯
Definitely relate to most of these.. all these lil details are so vital to a relationship.. understanding your partner is everything.. plus it's stuff like this we can learn to improve our relationship.. we have to be taught at times to understand more.. respecting your partner and being open will be a benefit to a solid relationship
❤😢 for the first time, I definitely feel this and it’s so peaceful. I want nothing less than this for the rest of my life.
I LIVE YOU
THANK YOU FOR LIVING US!
@@Psych2goAHHHH
@@Psych2go😂😂😂
Sigh, she gave me 5/6... she was beautiful kind, compassionate, fun, fulfilling, but she was scared to speak up for herself and pulled away when I encouraged her to do so. It was hard to let her go, but when I did, she could feel how much I respected her, and I could feel how much she respected me. Maybe one day she'll be ready, but for now my quest continues
Bet this guy owns a fedora and uses it as a personality trait.
I just realised i was overthinking and i actually love them. Thanks.
People can show all the emotional support, empathy and make commitments with you, and still one day can leave you despite all that...
I know I was toxic in the past, I was a product of my environment, lesson learnt
and now you can do better:) experiences are the best way to learn, wish u all the best
This video really put into words how I was feeling. Something was off and now I know those were signs of unhealthy attachment. Hope this helps me move on!
Thank you ❤️ it made me see things clearer
I had just went threw a break up ...let this person move in ...tell her everything...all the red flags ..I'd try to listen..but I'd miss two words and if I was directed to what I needed to do I'd freak out and forget...than I'm being yelled at being told I never listen..or care when I drop a negative situation
I'm autistic..and selfless.....I put people ahead of my own ... feelings....
I tend to drop situations that are negative..if it's (a first thought )thing or situation that holds old bagged I will.( Forgive and forget)
People don't see things the same way in surtin situations.....but familiar settings in situations I've been threw ...are the reason I can drop it 👏
I hope these are read👀 ...I'm being open
About it .... because I've always liked watching phyctogo I love the truth.and facts
And learning...
I just got into a new relationship last week after one year of being single so I definitely needed this refresher!! Thank you ❤
Omgosh! Congratulations! We have a lot of relationship videos on this channel. Free feel to watch them! It will help you improve your relationship and communication even better!
This comment is unrelated to the current topic, but I just discovered my next step in life! Thank you, I think. I'm marking this comment as a timestamp!
It wasn’t the earth moving love I thought it would be. But I definitely was more attached.
I really like how easy to understand these videos always are. great job!
actually this video reassured me that I actually AM in a healthy relationship. I didn't have doubts per se but I do tend to be a little naive at times and overlook things.
Ive been dating my bf for 1 year (yay!) But hes so sweet and caring, but im distant and scared. Ive been in many relationships that havent ended well but with my bf now, im so dead to feelinga that i just sigh whenever he talks to me, i also have BPD, i love him so so much and hes so cool but im scared for our future.
Really thought I loved this guy, he hurt me not physically but he controlled what i did and left me silent treatment if I talked to other people. He would make me block people. So much worse stuff continued and I still loved him after he broke up with me. I watched this and realised, It wasnt love what he had, he used me for my body and I was just attached. Thankyou for this.
Update:
I have moved on and honestly never felt better. Time heals guys x
I felt the same way. It’s been a month already since he broke up with me. Still it hurts me so deeply.
@@QuennieLongakit hey, Hope your ok. Ive been doing better now and my advice is focus on your self. I know thats what everyone says and at first i didnt take peoples advice, but try it. Hope you feel better xx
this is such an eye-opener ✍️ ,
thank you Psych2Go 🙏
I'm the toxic one, but I only realize that after she left me for good. In this time, I've reflected so much how I can do better for her, how I'm controlling her, how I mess her feeling and mind.
At first, I'm so frustrated, sad, clueless etc. But after some times, I know that she's trying so hard to love me, I understand that my one small mistake has led her to not trust me anymore, she doesn't feel the same with me anymore, hardly tell how she's feeling.
It is still a fresh breakup, but in this short time, it gave me times to think and see reflection of my action. I did some journal talking about my feeling, and it really help me see how I really am. But in the end, I truly care for her. I wanna see her happy again, but I can't endure the feeling that she's going to be someone else's.
At least, meeting her let me see myself better, I'm sorry my love, you suffer so much with me, I don't deserve you.
I'm just attached. So is he. Been together 15 years. It's been this way the last 4 years. He cancels plans. Never goes out with me just to punish me. I've never been more lonely.
Never will I ever think of love the same way.
I LOVE YOUR VIDEOS!!! 💖✨️
THANK YOU FOR YOUR LOVE AND SUPPORT! 💕 Thanks for commenting early!
Are you sure you’re not just attached to them?
@wetwillyis_1881 we're not dating, it's just a crush for now! :)
@@elegant_starr As long as it's not a trauma bond. ;)
I was kind of scared going into this video because this is my first relationship and i didn’t want to jinx myself, but turns out he’s the perfect man for me. I just hope im the same for him!
You are putting in a lot of effort to motivate aspirants....Good job!.....👏
Love this one! Think you’ve shed some light on my situation! Thanks! 😊 🙏🏽
I think I’m just attached and I’m just terrible at saying goodbye
Just saw this on my yt recommendation, really needed this.
Much needed this kind of vid for a long time. Thank you Psych2go!!❤
I loved the video. We often misunderstand attachment as love and the video tells us how we can understand the terms well.
Quite true
I think I'm in love but I'm scared. He already said he loves me. I told him I'm not ready yet and he understands. We can be honest about anything with one another.
Took time for me to understand these things until now. Thank you ✨
I was in an unhealthy relationship but didn't know it at the time! I experienced a majority of these even though the person I was with seemed like a "nice guy" to everyone
I think what we are talking about in this video, is an emotion towards the other person. I believe LOVE IS NOT THE EMOTION. Why? When we say we love somebody we should ask ourselves are we willing to sacrifice everything for them. If not, we do not love them. Love should be something very deep, selfless. Love is a will not a feeling. Feelings come and go. Desiring everything good for the other person stays. Also, good love is someting that feeds us with happiness that even if we don't get anything in return, we are still happy to be a good person for the others.
Ive been your subscriber for a year and honestly im so greatful for this channel 💗💗💗
We're so grateful to have you here! Which topics are you current favorites at the moment?
@Psych2go 100% the ones ab attachment and relationships
Now, make a video on how to detach from attachment
When I had a crush on this girl I knew that she had red flags and was a jerk (via her ex and what my crush tells me) but I still gained a crush on her, the last straw was her completely ignoring me despite us being friends 😢
Relationships or love are such a mystery. It honestly feels like people need to be in a relationship because it's an accommodation and a supposed safe haven for a person.
Like if someone sees their ex get into a relationship, then they feel the need to be into one because they feel vulnerable. Perphaps they see their ex know their worth, moved on, realized they are more fish in the sea-- and that other person fewls jealous, exposed and tries hastily get into a new relationship they try to recreate the lovey dovey feelings they had with their ex then get attached.
Honestly it's kinda frustrating to see this happen to your friends and family.
I've seen this happened. Two friends of mine dated for a year and it seemed they were soul mates but I guess they didn't know the ropes of being in a relationship because well... it was their first time being in one. Years passed by and one of them got into a relationship then that other person seemed to panicked because she moved one and so on. It was like who could outdo each other and try to have the most fun and be the most happy without each other. To this day they looked hurt and honestly miserable when going on and off the dating market
This is beautiful, thank you ❤️🙏
Thank u for your insights via psychology.. the next challenge for me: sociology standpoint
The timing can't be more perfect
Oh I am deeply in love, she completes me
My therapist has done a great job helping me understand my divorce and why I wanted it, but this video was a great reminder to me of some of the feelings (or lack thereof) that led me to realize I wasn’t in love and probably hadn’t been. I’ve struggled with the guilt, but this video helped remind me of some of the reasons why my divorce was justified. I still wish I had realized it much sooner, but better late than never.
The "What is love" at the beginning made me say "Baby don't hurt me"
Thank you for this. I'm enlightened indeed. Perhaps I just feel sympathetic towards the person I'm with today. Or perhaps it's just all attachments. I'll consider it.
Imagine getting attached to your friend. Like, you're not in love with her. You just got attached.
This is my favourite animation style of late ❤
We should feel safe in relationships to share our feelings .. emotional safety is most important
“what is love?”
Baby don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me, no more.
I’ve been watching lots of episodes saying that my parental “love” was just attachments. The toxic ones.
9 years. 9 years relationship I am still confused if I love him or just attached to him.
I really dislike hearing of some of these concepts now… 2 months after my first relationship ended on me getting dumped and not being able to move on.
I thought it would help to watch this, but I’m not sure it does after all.