My mom was a immigrant from Germany to South Africa; I was often confused between the two cultures - like on the German side I never say aunt or uncle; I call them by their first names but that would be rude if I talked that way with my Afrikaans family -i could go play in the rain on my German side but was told not to walk in the rain by Afrikaans family; now I'm in my 30s and I love these different cultures and appreciate that I have this experience - I try to add more of it in my life now from both cultures and this is how I found your video - I can understand alot of what you say like 'no baby talk' I find it very strange but in my Afrikaans family everyone does baby talk'!
von einer mutter zur anderen : Kinder lernen zu teilen aber besser ohne den druck von mama ! Kinder wollen mit anderen kindern spielen.Wenn sie nicht teilen wollen die anderen nicht mitspielen ! Diese erfahrung ist wertvoller als der druck von mama : " Du sollst teilen !"
I enjoy these types of videos. I’m in America. We do #5. It’s not that I don’t encourage him to share, I teach him he can say no. If he brings something with him to the park, he’s bringing it because he wanted to play with it there. I also teach him that it’s ok if someone else doesn’t want to share with him. If you think about it, we don’t necessarily model this as adults. We don’t go to the park and hand over our phone, book, bag to another parent. I really like not worrying about my kids getting dirty and being able to trust themselves climbing and such. And germs do help their immune systems! The more we try to kill all the (good and bad) germs, the more their immune system suffers. I think we can all learn so much from each other.
mi_casa I totally agree with you. It is so nice to be able to exchange experiences and pick up things that fit to us the most. And I also think it is important to learn to say No... Thank you for watching my video...😊😊😊
Hi there! As to the sharing topic: When I was a kid, we didn't actually share, but we swapped. Some people had a breakfast box with things some other people liked, so we swapped or did some other kind of exchange business, like, you can copy my homework for a candy bar. The ladder-and-slide thing: I once got stuck in a tree. Really, that was no fun. We didn't have no cellphones then. A neighbor took me down. I was 4 or 5 years old then. Have fun with your daughter! And let her try crazy things.
I am so glad you shared your story.. As kid I did so many crazy things but now as I am a parent I understand my Mom better. I let my daughter do crazy things, but with her father.. I am not cut for that but still I try not to stand on her way... For crazy stuff she still has her papi...
orfo70 I know you are completely right when speaking about general vocabulary, but still there are words and phrases I can’t use while talking to my 3 year old. I find it hard for myself to talk to my daughter as I would talk to a 30 year old for instance.
Thanks for the interesting video! I also watched your other "German parenting" video. I notice a theme matching what others have picked up on as well- things like being active, taking children out for fresh air (check out Antoinette Emily's videos). Many of your observations resonated with me too. I'm married to a German and we live in the countryside. It's a close-knit extended family so I've had the opportunity to see things "up close". For example, my sister-in-law takes her baby out for a walk at least once a day, sometimes more than that. I will note though that there are differences in parenting based on whether the family is more urbanized or not, social class, and which part of German. But obviously that's to be expected and you made it clear in your video that you were speaking about your experiences. Here are some of my own points: 1. balance bikes: these are really big with German children! They seem to be on them from the age of 2. It goes with the being active philosophy. 2. pacifers/dummies: are German babies born with pacifers in their mouths? I've never seen a baby that didn't have one. 3. baby strollers: disapproval for children older than 3 in them! See point 1! 4. creche/nursery and stay-at-home mothers: Germans tend to be traditional in this regard and generally disapprove of children young than one or two years being put into childcare. In fact, many children are cared for at home until they're ready for kindergarten around age 3. You're probably aware of the whole "rabenmutter" discussion. 5. breastfeeding: some commentators have observed that Germany is very pro-breastfeeding- that means supporting breastfeeding in general and specifically in public. However, I don't think it's as straightforward as this. I feel that the women in our extended family are not comfortable with breastfeeding in public. 6. clothing: your observation that German parents favor practical clothing is spot-on. What you don't mention is the downside: they never seem to dress up, even for church/weddings/Christmas. I lived in Belgium and it was lovely to see the children come to church in their "Sunday best", a concept that seems to be lost on Germans (I mean, even the few that attend church). And clothing seems to be mostly gender-neutral. 7. speaking to kids: you mention that German parents don't use age-appropriate language with kids, or address them as adults. I think this is because the concept of family is very egalitarian; in this way, the German sees a child as his equal. There isn't much age-mandated respect for elders such as in a more traditional culture. I can't get used to this and in this sense I won't be doing it the German way! 8. chores: do children have any? Are they expected to do anything around the house? 9. spanking is verboten 10. play: German parents encourage a lot of free play and formal academics don't begin until school, from the age of 6. Please make a video about Armenian parenting! It would be so interesting to compare on topics like being active, breastfeeding, childcare, etc. You already gave a taste of that in the video about German parenting but hopefully you could tell us more.
Wow... First of all thank you for taking your time and watching my video.. Than even bigger thank you for your interesting comment. I think I will make a separate video reffering to all points you mentioned, because I could hold a speech on commenting back to each point😉... it was so interesting to read about your experience... But here are couple of things I wanna say... I know Antoinette and I absolutely love her... And even though I discovered her recently she became one of my favourite youtubers... She always has great points, she is polite and careful not to offend anyone and she is simply such a beautiful soul... Than I wanted to refer to your 4th point , where you shared your experience/thoughts about stay-at -home mothers in Germany. And here is the thing. As you mentioned before Germany differs from part to part, from region to region. Well I live in Dresden, which is east Germany and here you're gonna get critisized big time if you decide to stay home and just take care of your child. I will make a video about that and trust me you better have a good reason to stay home. And I know that Bavaria and all West Germany is completely ok with a woman staying home and taking care of children (btw I 100% support this idea), but east Germany is completely different. When we are back from our little Easter vacation I will make a video as you requested about Armenian parents as well.... I would love to know where are you coming from... Thank you soooooo much for taking your time for me...
@@MomsDiary1 Thanks a lot for your reply :-) It's all very interesting and I have the feeling we could have a great discussion on this topic! (By the way, if you're interested in this from a more international perspective, you might appreciate this video) ua-cam.com/video/Nsn2B4IGKo8/v-deo.html I'm not surprised that East Germany has more institutionalized childcare, due to its communist background. I also read from a German parenting magazine that there are more children per "Kindererzieherin" than in western Germany (which indicates that not only are more babies in daycare, but the quality is lower too...) It's a pity you have to justify yourself looking after your child at home. Unfortunately, I think women this side of Germany are feeling increasingly pressured to get back to work sooner rather than later too. And it's a fact: statistically more babies are going to "Krippe" and at younger ages too. So I should qualify what I said in my first comment- the culture is changing. By the way I live in a little village about one hour from Dusseldorf. And my background is mixed African-European (not German). I've lived here less than a year. Before that I lived in Belgium so there's a lot of comparisons to be made LOL.
Thank you for sharing the video.. I checked it out and it was so interesting to see and compare all these different cultures together... This inspires me so much to make a new video about my thoughts... You know I can understand moms who have to give their babies to daycare and go back to work, but I can't understand moms critisizing other moms who decided to stay home and take care of their children. What I learnt after becoming a mom is that you should never judge anyone's decision, wheather it fits to your perseptions or not. I don't know how it is in west Germany, but in East Germany in the normal Krippe you have 18 children for 3? Kindererzieherin (if I am not mistaken), but these 18 babies are all in one group. We chose Tagesmutter because she is allowed to take only 5 children. As for the kindergarten it may differ... Now in our kindergarten we have 22 children for 2 Erzieherin, but I also know ones which have 1 Erzieherin for 18 children and it is too much...
@@MomsDiary1 I think you're right, they can have up to 6 babies per caretaker, so yeah that adds up to 18 in a group for three caretakers...Yikes! That's tough. My husband's cousin has her child with a Tagesmutter too. But statistically more children are in Krippa than with a Tagesmutter. (By the way, in Belgium the Tagesmutter is practically unknown; also, they are a LOT less tolerant towards stay-at-home mothers). 22 children for two teachers in kindergarten? Oh, count yourself lucky! I remember in Brussels it was typical to have about 28 kids in a class. I wish you a lovely Easter holiday with your family and I look forward to your next video :-)
My 4 year old boy says that he wants to drive a real car. 🚗.so I have only option to tell him,you are too young for it.he tells he shall get a driving license now.
You DO NOT TO APPOLOGIZE for not to agree or understand other culture in this case Germans mother and their kids because if you went or move to other countries they may have the same thinking as you. BUT IT IS GOOD TO NOTICE WHEN THE OPINION DIFFER because of that we learn
Germans talk baby talk with their children at home ;) they just keep it together in public. You could just talk Armenian baby talk, then nobody will understand it anyway
Ordering your kids to share leads (in case of US,lead)to a selfish society.later on,they want to keep everything to themself. It should be a decision you make
Okay honest opinion: You made me cry. In a bad way. I understand that you are an immigrant and its hard to adapt to another coutry especially when you have kids. I will never no what that is like. Because I was already born in Switzerland (similar culture to Germany). But my grandmother immigrated here and she always told me how hard it is (she delt with racism a lot.) However, I think its such a pitty when you dont teach you child good Armenian values such as sharing just because you want to adapt. Look, your child will grow up in a super capitalistic and ego-focust society like Germany anyway. She will learn how to be a idividual anyway. Thats thought in school and society. Its okay if you bring other GOOD values like sharing and caring into your daughters life. It wont make her any less of a confident women. It will make her a even more special wome one day. She will have this cultural mix that will make her smarter and more empathic. Also, not everything you read in German psychology books is unbias. Because its full of European values. Not all of them are good! Look Armenia to me is a middle Eastern country, even if Armenians are deniying that. But the society is diffrent. Therefore your daughter needs to learn about the cultural aspect of her roots! Its horribal to take the roots of your childs. Im talking about teaching her Armenian values, language, food all that. It will make Germany more diverse :) the Germans will be able to learn from YOUR parenting. Also you are alone in a coutry. If you rase your child without your culture, you will in 10 or 20 years, when your parents will be death (Asdwaz baye), even more lonely with your Armenian identy. Because nobody will understand you, not even your own child. It sounds dark but its the truth. Im saying this because I care about you and your children. Dont try to be a German mom, because you arent and you never will be because honesrly Germans will always see you as an immigrant. Of course dont be a uneducated, Armenian farmer mom either. But find your strenth to understand a good and healthy mix of both culturs and be YOURSELF. Nothing makes a daughter more confident, individual and strong then to have a mother who is all these things. Thats all have a nice day.
My mom was a immigrant from Germany to South Africa; I was often confused between the two cultures - like on the German side I never say aunt or uncle; I call them by their first names but that would be rude if I talked that way with my Afrikaans family -i could go play in the rain on my German side but was told not to walk in the rain by Afrikaans family; now I'm in my 30s and I love these different cultures and appreciate that I have this experience - I try to add more of it in my life now from both cultures and this is how I found your video - I can understand alot of what you say like 'no baby talk' I find it very strange but in my Afrikaans family everyone does baby talk'!
von einer mutter zur anderen : Kinder lernen zu teilen aber besser ohne den druck von mama ! Kinder wollen mit anderen kindern spielen.Wenn sie nicht teilen wollen die anderen nicht mitspielen ! Diese erfahrung ist wertvoller als der druck von mama : " Du sollst teilen !"
I enjoy these types of videos. I’m in America. We do #5. It’s not that I don’t encourage him to share, I teach him he can say no. If he brings something with him to the park, he’s bringing it because he wanted to play with it there. I also teach him that it’s ok if someone else doesn’t want to share with him. If you think about it, we don’t necessarily model this as adults. We don’t go to the park and hand over our phone, book, bag to another parent.
I really like not worrying about my kids getting dirty and being able to trust themselves climbing and such. And germs do help their immune systems! The more we try to kill all the (good and bad) germs, the more their immune system suffers. I think we can all learn so much from each other.
mi_casa I totally agree with you. It is so nice to be able to exchange experiences and pick up things that fit to us the most. And I also think it is important to learn to say No... Thank you for watching my video...😊😊😊
Hi there!
As to the sharing topic: When I was a kid, we didn't actually share, but we swapped. Some people had a breakfast box with things some other people liked, so we swapped or did some other kind of exchange business, like, you can copy my homework for a candy bar.
The ladder-and-slide thing: I once got stuck in a tree. Really, that was no fun. We didn't have no cellphones then. A neighbor took me down. I was 4 or 5 years old then.
Have fun with your daughter! And let her try crazy things.
I am so glad you shared your story.. As kid I did so many crazy things but now as I am a parent I understand my Mom better. I let my daughter do crazy things, but with her father.. I am not cut for that but still I try not to stand on her way... For crazy stuff she still has her papi...
Kids adopt vocabulary very quickly like the learn to speak in general - you don't have to adopt to your child.
orfo70 I know you are completely right when speaking about general vocabulary, but still there are words and phrases I can’t use while talking to my 3 year old. I find it hard for myself to talk to my daughter as I would talk to a 30 year old for instance.
Btw thanks for watching my video. 😊
To learn to say :no is important,and in Germany a value in itself.it also makes your child stronger and therefore safer.
Ty, you have hit it on the head of reality of a German mother. Many ways are not to listen to crazy thinking, but absolute to protect. Cheers
Thanks for the interesting video! I also watched your other "German parenting" video. I notice a theme matching what others have picked up on as well- things like being active, taking children out for fresh air (check out Antoinette Emily's videos). Many of your observations resonated with me too. I'm married to a German and we live in the countryside. It's a close-knit extended family so I've had the opportunity to see things "up close". For example, my sister-in-law takes her baby out for a walk at least once a day, sometimes more than that. I will note though that there are differences in parenting based on whether the family is more urbanized or not, social class, and which part of German. But obviously that's to be expected and you made it clear in your video that you were speaking about your experiences.
Here are some of my own points:
1. balance bikes: these are really big with German children! They seem to be on them from the age of 2. It goes with the being active philosophy.
2. pacifers/dummies: are German babies born with pacifers in their mouths? I've never seen a baby that didn't have one.
3. baby strollers: disapproval for children older than 3 in them! See point 1!
4. creche/nursery and stay-at-home mothers: Germans tend to be traditional in this regard and generally disapprove of children young than one or two years being put into childcare. In fact, many children are cared for at home until they're ready for kindergarten around age 3. You're probably aware of the whole "rabenmutter" discussion.
5. breastfeeding: some commentators have observed that Germany is very pro-breastfeeding- that means supporting breastfeeding in general and specifically in public. However, I don't think it's as straightforward as this. I feel that the women in our extended family are not comfortable with breastfeeding in public.
6. clothing: your observation that German parents favor practical clothing is spot-on. What you don't mention is the downside: they never seem to dress up, even for church/weddings/Christmas. I lived in Belgium and it was lovely to see the children come to church in their "Sunday best", a concept that seems to be lost on Germans (I mean, even the few that attend church). And clothing seems to be mostly gender-neutral.
7. speaking to kids: you mention that German parents don't use age-appropriate language with kids, or address them as adults. I think this is because the concept of family is very egalitarian; in this way, the German sees a child as his equal. There isn't much age-mandated respect for elders such as in a more traditional culture. I can't get used to this and in this sense I won't be doing it the German way!
8. chores: do children have any? Are they expected to do anything around the house?
9. spanking is verboten
10. play: German parents encourage a lot of free play and formal academics don't begin until school, from the age of 6.
Please make a video about Armenian parenting! It would be so interesting to compare on topics like being active, breastfeeding, childcare, etc. You already gave a taste of that in the video about German parenting but hopefully you could tell us more.
Wow... First of all thank you for taking your time and watching my video.. Than even bigger thank you for your interesting comment. I think I will make a separate video reffering to all points you mentioned, because I could hold a speech on commenting back to each point😉... it was so interesting to read about your experience... But here are couple of things I wanna say... I know Antoinette and I absolutely love her... And even though I discovered her recently she became one of my favourite youtubers... She always has great points, she is polite and careful not to offend anyone and she is simply such a beautiful soul...
Than I wanted to refer to your 4th point , where you shared your experience/thoughts about stay-at -home mothers in Germany. And here is the thing. As you mentioned before Germany differs from part to part, from region to region. Well I live in Dresden, which is east Germany and here you're gonna get critisized big time if you decide to stay home and just take care of your child. I will make a video about that and trust me you better have a good reason to stay home. And I know that Bavaria and all West Germany is completely ok with a woman staying home and taking care of children (btw I 100% support this idea), but east Germany is completely different.
When we are back from our little Easter vacation I will make a video as you requested about Armenian parents as well....
I would love to know where are you coming from... Thank you soooooo much for taking your time for me...
@@MomsDiary1 Thanks a lot for your reply :-) It's all very interesting and I have the feeling we could have a great discussion on this topic! (By the way, if you're interested in this from a more international perspective, you might appreciate this video) ua-cam.com/video/Nsn2B4IGKo8/v-deo.html
I'm not surprised that East Germany has more institutionalized childcare, due to its communist background. I also read from a German parenting magazine that there are more children per "Kindererzieherin" than in western Germany (which indicates that not only are more babies in daycare, but the quality is lower too...) It's a pity you have to justify yourself looking after your child at home. Unfortunately, I think women this side of Germany are feeling increasingly pressured to get back to work sooner rather than later too. And it's a fact: statistically more babies are going to "Krippe" and at younger ages too. So I should qualify what I said in my first comment- the culture is changing.
By the way I live in a little village about one hour from Dusseldorf. And my background is mixed African-European (not German). I've lived here less than a year. Before that I lived in Belgium so there's a lot of comparisons to be made LOL.
Thank you for sharing the video.. I checked it out and it was so interesting to see and compare all these different cultures together... This inspires me so much to make a new video about my thoughts...
You know I can understand moms who have to give their babies to daycare and go back to work, but I can't understand moms critisizing other moms who decided to stay home and take care of their children. What I learnt after becoming a mom is that you should never judge anyone's decision, wheather it fits to your perseptions or not.
I don't know how it is in west Germany, but in East Germany in the normal Krippe you have 18 children for 3? Kindererzieherin (if I am not mistaken), but these 18 babies are all in one group. We chose Tagesmutter because she is allowed to take only 5 children. As for the kindergarten it may differ... Now in our kindergarten we have 22 children for 2 Erzieherin, but I also know ones which have 1 Erzieherin for 18 children and it is too much...
@@MomsDiary1 I think you're right, they can have up to 6 babies per caretaker, so yeah that adds up to 18 in a group for three caretakers...Yikes! That's tough. My husband's cousin has her child with a Tagesmutter too. But statistically more children are in Krippa than with a Tagesmutter. (By the way, in Belgium the Tagesmutter is practically unknown; also, they are a LOT less tolerant towards stay-at-home mothers). 22 children for two teachers in kindergarten? Oh, count yourself lucky! I remember in Brussels it was typical to have about 28 kids in a class.
I wish you a lovely Easter holiday with your family and I look forward to your next video :-)
Vanessa T 28 children... That is really a lot....
I wish you a happy Easter as well... Have fun with your family...😘😘😘
Honestly I believe every German mumndoes baby talk, but not in public. More at home.So did I,when my little girl { now 23 years old }was a baby.
It's very interesting vidio my dear 💋💋💋😘😘😘😘
My 4 year old boy says that he wants to drive a real car. 🚗.so I have only option to tell him,you are too young for it.he tells he shall get a driving license now.
Lovely
How well you manage all the things
You DO NOT TO APPOLOGIZE for not to agree or understand other culture in this case Germans mother and their kids because if you went or move to other countries they may have the same thinking as you. BUT IT IS GOOD TO NOTICE WHEN THE OPINION DIFFER because of that we learn
Germans talk baby talk with their children at home ;) they just keep it together in public. You could just talk Armenian baby talk, then nobody will understand it anyway
What’s your name you’re a brilliant talker
Ordering your kids to share leads (in case of US,lead)to a selfish society.later on,they want to keep everything to themself. It should be a decision you make
Okay honest opinion: You made me cry. In a bad way. I understand that you are an immigrant and its hard to adapt to another coutry especially when you have kids. I will never no what that is like. Because I was already born in Switzerland (similar culture to Germany). But my grandmother immigrated here and she always told me how hard it is (she delt with racism a lot.) However, I think its such a pitty when you dont teach you child good Armenian values such as sharing just because you want to adapt. Look, your child will grow up in a super capitalistic and ego-focust society like Germany anyway. She will learn how to be a idividual anyway. Thats thought in school and society. Its okay if you bring other GOOD values like sharing and caring into your daughters life. It wont make her any less of a confident women. It will make her a even more special wome one day. She will have this cultural mix that will make her smarter and more empathic. Also, not everything you read in German psychology books is unbias. Because its full of European values. Not all of them are good! Look Armenia to me is a middle Eastern country, even if Armenians are deniying that. But the society is diffrent. Therefore your daughter needs to learn about the cultural aspect of her roots! Its horribal to take the roots of your childs. Im talking about teaching her Armenian values, language, food all that. It will make Germany more diverse :) the Germans will be able to learn from YOUR parenting. Also you are alone in a coutry. If you rase your child without your culture, you will in 10 or 20 years, when your parents will be death (Asdwaz baye), even more lonely with your Armenian identy. Because nobody will understand you, not even your own child. It sounds dark but its the truth. Im saying this because I care about you and your children. Dont try to be a German mom, because you arent and you never will be because honesrly Germans will always see you as an immigrant. Of course dont be a uneducated, Armenian farmer mom either. But find your strenth to understand a good and healthy mix of both culturs and be YOURSELF. Nothing makes a daughter more confident, individual and strong then to have a mother who is all these things. Thats all have a nice day.
similar to south germany.... keep that in mind ;)
@@hyenalaughingmatter8103 lol what? I didnt understand you comment