Given the vast portion of the population that feel that compulsory heterosexuality should continue and refuse to reconsider, I don't remain optimistic for that to change much. It breaks my heart to try to envision how much easier my life would have been if we weren't all held to the impossible standard of conforming to who we "should" be. I think this goes much farther than sexual/romantic preference, and stems from religious views more than other influences. Most often I have witnessed/been victimized by bullying and lack of acceptance from those who utilize religious reasoning for why they believe homosexuality is wrong.
Thank you for including those of us who are on the asexual spectrum or otherwise not sexual beings in your videos! It's nice to be acknowledged 🥰 Btw your videos are great!
As a 33 year old who escaped from an evangelical Christian upbringing a number of years ago but only just this year realized that I am a lesbian, I am SO grateful that I've now learned about the comphet, and I found this video comforting. Thank you for making it. You explain things very well and with so much compassion. 💜
Wow, thank you so much for that comment! You are so sweet! I am also thankful that you've learned about comphet and found a way to be free from people who would encourage you to be less than you are. The journey to discover ourselves is long, and you don't need the extra baggage of people who want to shrink or change that. 💛💛
This is incredible! As someone who has been assumed to be straight by so many people, it can be anxious to me to communicate with other people sometimes
I watched the internalised homophobia one first and let me just say you are an incredible woman. My daughter came out to me at 14 and I remember even then I was struggling with the fact I supported her sexuality completely but couldn’t do it for myself. Now I finally understand I’m not weak. I just didn’t want to be lying and my head was telling me I’m a mum and it’s not ok. Maybe you just haven’t found the right man. They weren’t even my thoughts. Just what I’d always been taught. Thank you so much for cutting through my confusion and self loathing to show me that we are all aloud to be ourselves. Even me 💞
Wow, THANK YOU for sharing this journey. I am so glad you were able to find some clarity through these videos. We are all on our own journey, and part of that is untangling things we were taught from the truths we know inside. thank you for being willing to engage with that struggle! ❤️
Oh my gosh- the flirting comment - kills me. I hate it with a passion. My son is 22 mo. and some of the daycare workers have made comments about him like that. Oh, he's waving to the little girls, or he is always trying to hug the teachers (all female) - calling him a flirt etc. I have wanted on some many occassions to scream and say stop that. Just like I hate the baby shirts that say- Heart Breaker or something of that sort. I never thought of it actually as compaulsory heteroseuality, which makes sense as soon as you say it- but just gross. He's not even 2, he is just being friendly and sweet and extroverted.
How does this have 1.3k views yet only 400 subs....... you damn near made me cry. Thank you for this video, off to go check out the others you suggested. xx
Thank you for this video!! I was seeing a therapist and she’s part of the LGBTQ community but I felt like she was pushing me way too fast and I felt pressured/rushed to go through my process! I’ve subscribed! Thank u again for the info u have shared here❤️❤️
I am sorry you've had that experience. You deserve to do all of this in YOUR time, and your therapist should be supportive of your process. Thank you for watching, and for subscribing 💚💚
When you mentioned offensive representation, the first thing I thought of was Seinfeld. People constantly praise that show for how ahead of its time it was for even talking about gayness and saying “there’s nothing wrong with that”. But them you have the relationship between Susan and her girlfriend, and it’s played as a joke. They both find men who “turn them straight” and Susan even gets engaged to a guy, perpetuating the whole “it’s just a phase” nonsense. Then there’s Elaine’s comment “I hate men, but I’m not a lesbian.” Which perpetuates yet another stereotype. It’s bad representation, and we’re expected to accept it.
Thanks for this. I believe I faced Comphet when I had a boyfriend 13 years ago. I actually felt like I was doing what everyone else was at that age and thought I achieved 'the right thing' in life 😂 I literally found out this year(2023) that I'm Aroace as I've never fallen for anyone else ever since and I'm happy with myself as I am ❤
I probably grew up thinking I was straight because that is what I saw around me and so I assumed that's the way I'd go. My parents are Christians and never mentioned the word gay when I was a kid. It wasn't talked about. I'm 40 years old. As I became an adult I realized I'm just not attracted to men like how straight women are.
I cried at 7:35. This video really moved me. How would my life have turned out if comp het wasn’t a “thing”? I would have married a woman living authentically instead of trapped in an unhealthy marriage to a man for 35 years! At the same time I know that I cannot think woulda shoulda coulda and know that I just need to embrace who I am now and move forward and not regret the past for I suppose it served a purpose. It was my journey. We really don’t know how anything “could” have turned out. It’s all conjecture anyways. That’s not to say we should accept comphet. Comphet really does need to stop and the fact that we haven’t made really big strides makes me so sad. All I know is…I can personally do something about this as my “small” self. I teach my grandkids (two girls) that whomever they choose to love is completely ok. That girls don’t have to love boys, they can love girls too. Again, this was a very moving video, thank you!
I hope you know how true that statement is, and I love that you are holding that space for your granddaughters to discover who they are in their own time 🤎🤎
If by chaos you mean educating about the harmful way society attempts to control people, and encouraging people to be free thinking...then sure. I guess I am. 🤷🏼♀️
as a lesbian trans woman, i was constantly asked "is her boyfriend okay with that" when i was closeted and wanted to be friends with a girl. The constant sexualization of my friendships with women made it hard to be just friends with women once I came out because my religious trauma means I'm constantly on the lookout for "bad" sexual thoughts. And due to gender roles while closeted, I had major touch starvation issues because being seen as a man meant being seen as not needing comfort and affection.
Thank you for sharing this perspective! I'd venture to guess this was the experience for many trans women growing up, THANK YOU for putting words to this! 💛💛💛
Given the vast portion of the population that feel that compulsory heterosexuality should continue and refuse to reconsider, I don't remain optimistic for that to change much. It breaks my heart to try to envision how much easier my life would have been if we weren't all held to the impossible standard of conforming to who we "should" be. I think this goes much farther than sexual/romantic preference, and stems from religious views more than other influences. Most often I have witnessed/been victimized by bullying and lack of acceptance from those who utilize religious reasoning for why they believe homosexuality is wrong.
Comment pinned 💜💜💜
Thank you for including those of us who are on the asexual spectrum or otherwise not sexual beings in your videos! It's nice to be acknowledged 🥰 Btw your videos are great!
Thanks for taking the time to say that! I really appreciate it! ❤️❤️❤️
As a 33 year old who escaped from an evangelical Christian upbringing a number of years ago but only just this year realized that I am a lesbian, I am SO grateful that I've now learned about the comphet, and I found this video comforting. Thank you for making it. You explain things very well and with so much compassion. 💜
Wow, thank you so much for that comment! You are so sweet! I am also thankful that you've learned about comphet and found a way to be free from people who would encourage you to be less than you are. The journey to discover ourselves is long, and you don't need the extra baggage of people who want to shrink or change that. 💛💛
This is incredible! As someone who has been assumed to be straight by so many people, it can be anxious to me to communicate with other people sometimes
There are so many layers there, right? Other people's assumptions put so much weight on us, it is TOTALLY understandable that you'd be anxious!
I watched the internalised homophobia one first and let me just say you are an incredible woman. My daughter came out to me at 14 and I remember even then I was struggling with the fact I supported her sexuality completely but couldn’t do it for myself. Now I finally understand I’m not weak. I just didn’t want to be lying and my head was telling me I’m a mum and it’s not ok. Maybe you just haven’t found the right man. They weren’t even my thoughts. Just what I’d always been taught. Thank you so much for cutting through my confusion and self loathing to show me that we are all aloud to be ourselves. Even me 💞
Wow, THANK YOU for sharing this journey. I am so glad you were able to find some clarity through these videos. We are all on our own journey, and part of that is untangling things we were taught from the truths we know inside. thank you for being willing to engage with that struggle! ❤️
You never fail to surprise me with the quality of your content. You’re helping others in ways more than you can imagine. Thank you Kelly!
Thank you SO MUCH! I can't tell you how much I appreciate this comment ❤️❤️❤️
Oh my gosh- the flirting comment - kills me. I hate it with a passion. My son is 22 mo. and some of the daycare workers have made comments about him like that. Oh, he's waving to the little girls, or he is always trying to hug the teachers (all female) - calling him a flirt etc. I have wanted on some many occassions to scream and say stop that. Just like I hate the baby shirts that say- Heart Breaker or something of that sort. I never thought of it actually as compaulsory heteroseuality, which makes sense as soon as you say it- but just gross. He's not even 2, he is just being friendly and sweet and extroverted.
It is SUCH a frustration. 😕
How does this have 1.3k views yet only 400 subs....... you damn near made me cry.
Thank you for this video, off to go check out the others you suggested. xx
I appreciate the affirmation! I hope the other videos were as helpful as this one 💜💜💜
Thank you for this video!! I was seeing a therapist and she’s part of the LGBTQ community but I felt like she was pushing me way too fast and I felt pressured/rushed to go through my process! I’ve subscribed! Thank u again for the info u have shared here❤️❤️
I am sorry you've had that experience. You deserve to do all of this in YOUR time, and your therapist should be supportive of your process. Thank you for watching, and for subscribing 💚💚
I love your slightly raspy voice.
You have such a great vibe as well. 🥰
Thank you 😊
Missed your videos! Glad you're back!!!
Aw thank you! It's good to be back :)
When you mentioned offensive representation, the first thing I thought of was Seinfeld. People constantly praise that show for how ahead of its time it was for even talking about gayness and saying “there’s nothing wrong with that”. But them you have the relationship between Susan and her girlfriend, and it’s played as a joke. They both find men who “turn them straight” and Susan even gets engaged to a guy, perpetuating the whole “it’s just a phase” nonsense. Then there’s Elaine’s comment “I hate men, but I’m not a lesbian.” Which perpetuates yet another stereotype. It’s bad representation, and we’re expected to accept it.
YES! That stuff is done "for a laugh" and in reality it damages people so much!💗💗
Thanks for this. I believe I faced Comphet when I had a boyfriend 13 years ago. I actually felt like I was doing what everyone else was at that age and thought I achieved 'the right thing' in life 😂
I literally found out this year(2023) that I'm Aroace as I've never fallen for anyone else ever since and I'm happy with myself as I am ❤
I'm so, so glad you are now able to live authentically YOU 🧡🧡
THANK YOU!!! Came out at 41
Love to hear this!! 🥰
@@KellyRMinter I wish there was a book written on this, talking about all the emotions that come out with you...
Thank you for making this video ❤️ I’ve been loving your content so much. I truly appreciate you talking about this. Makes me feel valid and heard!!
I am so glad to hear this! Stick around, there's lots more to come! 💜
Love how real your videos are!
This comment was like a ray of sunshine in my day today. ❤️
I started to sob after 6:43. It really does feel beautiful.
The very concept of this gives me chills 💖
I probably grew up thinking I was straight because that is what I saw around me and so I assumed that's the way I'd go. My parents are Christians and never mentioned the word gay when I was a kid. It wasn't talked about. I'm 40 years old. As I became an adult I realized I'm just not attracted to men like how straight women are.
I cried at 7:35. This video really moved me. How would my life have turned out if comp het wasn’t a “thing”? I would have married a woman living authentically instead of trapped in an unhealthy marriage to a man for 35 years! At the same time I know that I cannot think woulda shoulda coulda and know that I just need to embrace who I am now and move forward and not regret the past for I suppose it served a purpose. It was my journey. We really don’t know how anything “could” have turned out. It’s all conjecture anyways. That’s not to say we should accept comphet. Comphet really does need to stop and the fact that we haven’t made really big strides makes me so sad. All I know is…I can personally do something about this as my “small” self. I teach my grandkids (two girls) that whomever they choose to love is completely ok. That girls don’t have to love boys, they can love girls too. Again, this was a very moving video, thank you!
I hope you know how true that statement is, and I love that you are holding that space for your granddaughters to discover who they are in their own time 🤎🤎
She's preaching chaos.
If by chaos you mean educating about the harmful way society attempts to control people, and encouraging people to be free thinking...then sure. I guess I am. 🤷🏼♀️
as a lesbian trans woman, i was constantly asked "is her boyfriend okay with that" when i was closeted and wanted to be friends with a girl. The constant sexualization of my friendships with women made it hard to be just friends with women once I came out because my religious trauma means I'm constantly on the lookout for "bad" sexual thoughts. And due to gender roles while closeted, I had major touch starvation issues because being seen as a man meant being seen as not needing comfort and affection.
Thank you for sharing this perspective! I'd venture to guess this was the experience for many trans women growing up, THANK YOU for putting words to this! 💛💛💛
Thank you ❤️💜💙
Thank YOU for watching! ❤️