Our Experience Dating with Mental Illness

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  • Опубліковано 22 тра 2024
  • In this ninth episode of the Living Well with Mental Illness podcast, Lauren and Rob share about their experience dating with mental illness. Lauren lives with schizoaffective disorder and talks about her experience dating with this illness, and together they chat about what their experience dating each other was like with Lauren's mental illness.
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 62

  • @livingwellwithmentalillness
    @livingwellwithmentalillness  Рік тому +6

    JOIN OUR ONLINE PEER SUPPORT COMMUNITY
    Schizophrenia Peer Support Community: www.schizophreniapeersupport.com
    General Mental Illness Peer Support Community: www.onlinepeersupport.com

  • @startingoverat43withnikkib58
    @startingoverat43withnikkib58 Рік тому +69

    I cannot say enough about how important your work is.

    • @camilaflorescer1670
      @camilaflorescer1670 Рік тому +1

      👏👏

    • @amyblack1052
      @amyblack1052 11 місяців тому +4

      I am finally getting help for bipolar w mania..
      At 57 years old. O how I wish I had found your channel years ago. I'm questioning everything. Single.thing...in my life. Thank you so much for all you both do. And Teddy is just sooooo sweet and handsome

  • @tanyapetersen8354
    @tanyapetersen8354 9 місяців тому +8

    I think Rob definitely did the right thing by going to the library and doing his own research first. Great initiative

  • @brianmaclaren6483
    @brianmaclaren6483 10 місяців тому +7

    Hi my name is Brian I've been working in mental health for over 10 years and deal with my own mental illness. I'm reaching out to you because I've watched a few of your videos and you appear fairly insightful and I work at a facility that is predominantly schizophrenic and I'd like to interview you to gain more insight because it is my goal to give my clients quality care. I feel that part of being able to do that is by having insight and because I don't struggle with schizophrenia I lack it to some extent. My struggles are with PTSD, Dyslexia, ADD, Autism, Anxiety and Depression. It is my ultimate goal to become an advocate for all mental illnesses. I feel by interviewing you it may help provide light to my hypothesis that lies behind Schizophrenia allowing me to to become a better counselor and advocate for all.

  • @poetlaureate7334
    @poetlaureate7334 11 місяців тому +11

    Thanks Laura, you helped me resolve a deep wound. I was in my first relationship many years ago and they broke up with me after a year when I started having mental health symptoms for the first time...anyway they went off and started running marathons while I slowly declined into depression and obesity....I always thought I'll never be the person I could have been ifni hadn't had an illness...when I was with my ex before the first mental health issue I was actually the more competent and strong person so I always felt kind of robbed by having the mental illness but seeing the vid when you ran the ultra marathon just unlocked something within me...that you can have a mental illness and be 'that' person. Thank you. I'm on my road to recovery and your videos help take the shame of it away.

  • @icare6076
    @icare6076 11 місяців тому +20

    Such an authentic and articulate conversation ❤

  • @interestinglyenough7601
    @interestinglyenough7601 10 місяців тому +5

    I'd like to offer a perspective. A lot of times while people living with mental illness are wondering when to disclose, the person or people their dating already know something is going on, and are just waiting and hoping for some insight.
    Just because a person living with mental illness hasn't (yet/ever) shared their diagnosis, doesn't mean other people are blind to it.
    I know there is a stigma. As a society, we're so uneducated about mental illness. When those with mental illness internalize the stigma, they rob themselves of the support system they could be building by being open and honest.

    • @oera308
      @oera308 2 місяці тому

      It's still not a terrific way to form a lasting friendship or more. Two sick people together is like the blind leading the blind. Get well first.

  • @gigahorse1475
    @gigahorse1475 Рік тому +28

    It’s hard to disclose but it’s also hard not to. How much time and effort do I want to spend with someone if they’re just going to walk away once I tell them this about myself? I feel dishonest if I hide it for too long, but obviously they should know me first.

    • @beckycurry7456
      @beckycurry7456 9 місяців тому +1

      Just be careful my husband acted like he cared at the time 5 years later...

  • @FromTheHealingWellSomatics
    @FromTheHealingWellSomatics 11 місяців тому +3

    "Come for the importance insight into mental health issues, stay for the deep warmth and healthy growth".

  • @baileyhallfilms
    @baileyhallfilms Рік тому +14

    very dignified and caring conversation about the realities of a chronic mental illness and how to navigate the world of dating

  • @sierrahuestis5115
    @sierrahuestis5115 5 місяців тому +1

    I dated a guy at 17 and was in a long term relationship we’ve broken up and now I’m single and 25 and diagnosed schizoeffective.. wild.

  • @laureeeee
    @laureeeee Рік тому +12

    Now that I think about it, I've never told my partners I have a mental illness. I never felt it was necessary I don't know why. I don't have a diagnosis yet due to some issues getting medical assistance but I feel they somehow know I'm not mentally well and roll with it or sometimes don't even notice 😂
    I remember last time I had a full blown psychotic episode and the partner I had at that time didn't notice AT ALL I was unwell.

  • @LyslScentedLife
    @LyslScentedLife Рік тому +7

    I was actually surprised at this discussion. Rob's comments, as well as the differing perspectives on both sides. Very intriguing in my opinion.

  • @floridarachel
    @floridarachel Рік тому +10

    Such a great topic! I think the point about being comfortable in your own skin is the key to living with a mental illness of any kind. You are enough. Yes, you have additional challenges. Finding someone you trust and are comfortable with, like Lauren said, is the answer. Truthfully, not all people can handle a mental illness. That’s ok, like Rob said there are a million people out there you could work with. (I’m sure there was a discussion after the podcast with Lauren & Rob 😂😂😂) Seriously, I do believe there is a soul mate out there. However, build yourself and know YOUR worth before looking! Hugs

  • @brittneypeyton8498
    @brittneypeyton8498 10 місяців тому +2

    Wow. This hits me hard. I do not have this diagnoses. But i recently shared childhood longterm sexual abuse with someone. And it was hard. Really hard. Thank you for sharing this. Im literally in tears hearing how you felt so scared to share this with him. I understand in so many ways.

  • @Dean444ful
    @Dean444ful Рік тому +10

    Great episode, y’all should promote this more on the main channel. Get some more eyes and ears on the pod, episodes are always light hearted but also informative and an interesting listen. Keep at it

  • @CharlotteWinslow
    @CharlotteWinslow 2 дні тому

    ~17:20 "There are better people for both of us" What the hell Rob? Definitely adding THAT clip in my compilation. Absolutely evil sociopath that he is...

  • @Mykaboy1245
    @Mykaboy1245 11 місяців тому +2

    The non-verbals in this conversation speak louder than words. Very interesting, keep up the good work! 👍🏻

  • @user-db6hg4cv8e
    @user-db6hg4cv8e 2 місяці тому

    I’m dating now too and I’ve fallen in love… Something i never thought was possible. ❤

  • @nikkihigham5051
    @nikkihigham5051 7 місяців тому

    I'm so glad to have come across your channel. I have borderline personality disorder so can relate to some of the issues you have. ❤

  • @kelseymariebell1357
    @kelseymariebell1357 Рік тому +3

    SO beautiful and inspiring, all they share, and truly, their relationship :) Mental illness or not!

  • @meuandthelot
    @meuandthelot 11 місяців тому +2

    Blessed man! Looks like you 2 are close to "soul mates" Here's to your relationship strengthening as life goes forward ❤ open dialog, communication is #1, too many create based solely on their own input🕊🙏

  • @mrsclairebryce
    @mrsclairebryce 10 місяців тому +1

    I think all relationships/marriages starting out have a “naivety” because you don’t know the issues you will face throughout your relationship and life together.
    Right now I am in the process of gaining understanding about mental illness as my daughter (age 14) is experiencing symptoms of an unspecified mood disorder.
    Thank you for sharing your experiences and perspectives so openly!!

  • @Seaturtle45778
    @Seaturtle45778 Рік тому +1

    Thank you ❤

  • @Liz-do3il
    @Liz-do3il 9 місяців тому

    I love her!

  • @angelicacroitoru4946
    @angelicacroitoru4946 Рік тому +3

    Big hug for you two!
    Be blessed!

  • @whitneysawyer483
    @whitneysawyer483 Рік тому

    Interesting discussion and there are some good points.

  • @christopherreynolds1384
    @christopherreynolds1384 Рік тому +6

    I feel like if I dated someone it would be devastatingly obvious I have something going on from all the meds I take 😂

  • @alishahoppin8306
    @alishahoppin8306 4 місяці тому

    I recently went on dates with someone and their reaction to mental health issues was disparaging, however i looked over that and i came to my senses it would'nt fufill long term and i didnt need to disclose my bpd& bipolar diagnosis anyway i ended contact new years eve. Anyway turns out he was the uncle of my next door neighbour totally unprepared to see that and unsoubtedly affects the relationship with my neighbour. However when i told him no to mental health issue due to really not having a future i saw i eventually was outed by the neighbour of my mental health. Like even if this conflictive issues i still have the right to protwct my mental health.

  • @patrician23
    @patrician23 10 місяців тому

    Thank you. This is something my mother struggles with and this helps

  • @nikkihigham5051
    @nikkihigham5051 7 місяців тому

    And such a very sweet couple 😊

  • @lolstrass
    @lolstrass 8 місяців тому

    🙏 🙏 🙏

  • @80islandia
    @80islandia Рік тому +2

    I really perked up at Rob's point that there was no Living Well With Schizophrenia when he started researching schizoaffective disorder. I find that a lot of the research on psychotic disorders is quite dehumanizing. It makes me glad that Lauren saw that change was needed and decided to do the internal and logistical work to add a lived experience perspective to the discussion. We benefit so much from being able to watch and refer people to your channel, so thanks, guys :)
    I was somewhat dismayed by Rob's comments about feeling responsible for ensuring Lauren was taking medication. It's quite undermining to be clear on what you need and not be believed or supported, simply because you have a mental illness. I wonder if we could work to flip the script so that supporting a loved one's self-determination is seen as a healthy outcome, especially since research such as Dr. Palmer's suggests that chemical imbalance is far from the entire story.

    • @lundsweden
      @lundsweden Рік тому +5

      This sounds great in theory, but not taking medication can lead to highly disruptive (for the person affected and partner) relapses. Research has shown relapses can cause damage to the brain. It is important IMO to communicate this with your partner.

    • @80islandia
      @80islandia Рік тому +3

      @@lundsweden I successfully stopped meds and haven’t relapsed in years.
      It came down to figuring out how to balance life stressors and finally addressing my past traumas.
      People do have the potential to stop medication and thrive with the right supports. Honouring self-determination is important to an empowered recovery.

    • @meuandthelot
      @meuandthelot 11 місяців тому +3

      ​@80islandia Sure some of us "heavily inflicted psychosis" some trauma based, some are depressed, some narcissistic, etc.. many forms of "mental illnesses" and "treatments" Happy you found your path 🕊🙏

  • @georgeskndrs8241
    @georgeskndrs8241 11 місяців тому

  • @gigaluke768
    @gigaluke768 3 місяці тому

    I don't know if you'll notice this comment or have energies/time to reply to it, but I'll try anyways.
    One question I have is, when you are close to someobody who has a big burden on himself, one thing that might happen is that you can help him/her, but he/she might not be able to be there for you for a long period of time. How do you deal with it? I mean, if one of the two people of the couple suffers, he or she will probably be able to give less, so there will probably be a lack in reciprocity. Is there a way you can restore reciprocity in this situation?

  • @tarandavison2328
    @tarandavison2328 Рік тому +3

    I am a paranoid schizophrenic and only have guys friends and find it hard to get women it’s been 3 years since my last girlfriend I need some love in my life

  • @whoareyoutoaccuseme
    @whoareyoutoaccuseme 11 місяців тому +4

    Man, I really wish people would consider dating people with physical disabilities. Everyone I've ever known with mental illness has dated loads and been in lots of relationships.
    The disabled people, if born with disability, often haven't even had 1 relationship. And the ones that become disabled later in life, are then usually totally exlcuded from the dating pool.
    Disabled men sometimes have a chance, but disabled women can't convince anyone to give them a shot, no matter how awesome they are. It's really disheartening.

  • @LarryKnight-un1qx
    @LarryKnight-un1qx 6 днів тому

    Coolio x Friday $5

  • @michelles9897
    @michelles9897 Рік тому +1

    🤍🤍🤍

  • @EmmaWatsonRocks1
    @EmmaWatsonRocks1 11 місяців тому +5

    I'm gonna get downvoted but I think people with mental illness need to be upfront about it at the beginning of a relationship.
    Not sharing with your potential partners is a huge betrayal of trust. It should be up to the other person to decide if they can handle that baggage.
    Especially with something like schizophrenia, it would be very confusing and scary for the other person if they had no idea what was going on if something went wrong. Full disclosure is necessary.

  • @theoneandonlyG.O.A.T
    @theoneandonlyG.O.A.T 9 місяців тому

    Make sence now lol

  • @BeingBetter
    @BeingBetter 8 місяців тому

    Wow, Lauren and Rob really are not on the same page, and she is constantly trying to correct his language.

  • @CharlotteWinslow
    @CharlotteWinslow 2 місяці тому

    Why do i not trust Rob whatsoever. 😂 Him always making snide comments "Oh, she pointed at me for the record when she said highs", well i fn hope so she's your wife???? Why did he make note of that for the viewers? Why does he feel the need to clarify that he's a 'good' guy you've dated??

    • @CharlotteWinslow
      @CharlotteWinslow 2 місяці тому

      also that other video on your main channel where he sexualizes the word 'phat' as some p0rn brain acronym he somehow knows of???? What i know 'phat' by, is the fashion brand.

    • @CharlotteWinslow
      @CharlotteWinslow 2 місяці тому

      Lauren, you are not crazy for being worried if he's being faithful or a good guy. Get the facts, accumulate evidence. I don't trust this guy.

    • @CharlotteWinslow
      @CharlotteWinslow 2 місяці тому

      Rob always focuses on how YOU have mental illness and he doesn't -- but does he have psychopathy? It seems like it! That would quantify him as mentally ill as well -- but of course he doesn't want to bring awareness to that. :)

    • @CharlotteWinslow
      @CharlotteWinslow 2 місяці тому

      I've also noticed the correlation of your blinking. You blink more when ROB makes a snide comment, or a superficial comment for the video. That's why you blink. This isn't because of some medication side effect. I see the DIRECT correlation between when you over-blink, and it's in tandem when Rob says something covertly rude or performative for camera.

  • @LyslScentedLife
    @LyslScentedLife Рік тому +1

    Any tips for a thirsty guy with a mental illness? 😂😂😂😂😂

    • @meuandthelot
      @meuandthelot 11 місяців тому +4

      5-7 glasses of water a day 🕊 stay hydrated. Get outdoors enjoy nature 🫱🏼‍🫲🏽👍

    • @LyslScentedLife
      @LyslScentedLife 11 місяців тому +1

      @@meuandthelot hahaha lmao 🤣

  • @jameslatta6813
    @jameslatta6813 11 місяців тому +1

    Rob is a weird guy.

  • @shaunhodgins1867
    @shaunhodgins1867 6 місяців тому

    Rob is a narcissist. Someone expert in body language analysis chirp in on this video. This man is a little shark. Little.

  • @soniahazy4880
    @soniahazy4880 Рік тому

    🧞‍♀️🌹🐬🧩🪷🐆🛸🌈💎