Toxic F-Boy Manipulation Tactics | Dating red flags 🚩
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- Опубліковано 8 вер 2024
- Fake nice guys and toxic F boy manipulation tactics are used against women all the time. Alot if men pretend to be nice guys to get a woman’s trust only to claim some emotional injury shortly after getting acquainted, making her feel as though his true colors coming out are all her fault. I’ve know women to do this too so it’s not just a man thing but again, my audience is mostly women so the context addresses men. Don’t fall for toxic narcissist manipulation tactics when dating. Don’t allow a man to mistreat you and then blame you for that mistreatment. ToxicF boys will always try to get the most for the least. Don’t fall for it. Wondering always ask me what types of guys to avoid. These type of men are among the top of my list of toxic men to avoid while trusting to find love. Don’t miss this huge dating red flag 🚩
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What's your Instagram again? You said it at the end but you said it so fast I don't know what you said.
they call it beta game
also do a video on dread game - threatening to leave or cheat
@@seabreeze4559 what is dread game?
😂😂😂😂😂😂 I sent this video to someone and they sounded so somber 😂😂😂😂😂... Humbled his ass right up Kev thanks 😊
I sent this video to a woman this morning about a man and she went all abusive and passive aggressive towards me, true colours shining through 😂😂😂😂🤣🇮🇪🙏
Some dudes love "breaking down" a chick mentally and emotionally into submission. Definitely narcissistic shit.
some women in bdsm community who like humiliation play and similar "breaking down" fetishes like this dynamic of "breaking down and build me back up", which to me it seems very concerning that they even allow men to break them down in the first place, to me it just screams trauma bonding
@@FruityHachi It may be.
Trust me, those kinds of women I avoid heavily.
I live in a small town in the south where just about all the females here have been done this way, but then again they all grew up watching their mothers being done that way, its generational. I'm from up North though LOL, not from around here so I don't subscribe to any of that bullshit
I was just thinking that recently especially after another heartbreak and I attract these type of men all the time...I wonder what is it about me that makes a man look at me like "Yea, I really want to break her"...
😢😢😢
@@missjackie7983 I think this is very much a part of all southern culture. The plantation masters abused everything in sight (animals, women, slaves), and it has carried on into today's southern society. I too am from the north. For a time I didn't know or ubderstand what I was dealing with. But thanks to people like Kev, I have a better understanding of this predatory behavior. I call it "Pimp Behavior" b/c pimps get an unsuspecting victim, love bomb them, then devalue them, then turn them out to earn their pimps approval and acceptance. This is very painful stuff, while true love never intentionally hurts.
Do NOT TELL A MAN YOUR PERSONAL BUSINESS EVERRR. I don’t care what’s going on. Turn on the camera on your phone, cry it out in a video. Talk to yourself! Not him. All he’s going to do is use that very information against you, or just tell it to the next chick that’s in rotation. That’s just what it is present day
Facts
This is where I messed up....I never like to open up about my mental illness until I get to know someone cuz of course they throw it in your face but this guy triggered me by saying "Stop being so negative" because I said I'll feel better about something someday. I went off and told him bye cuz that's something u don't say to someone with depression but I didn't tell him that I just went off and told him I wasn't being negative and bye. And he apologized and I thought he really meant it so I explained why I went off on him because I go thru depression and I hate when people attribute depression as being negative and it was just triggering to me...and we had this long Convo and he acted like he was so understanding just to end up hurting me a couple days later with the silent treatment and ghosting me after I found out some information about him and he said it wasn't true and I simply said I'm not sure what to believe yet but I still wanted to have a conversation with him after that and he ghosted me....
Big facts!
Dang! Wish I knew that. I talked to him a lot about everything..hours and hours during our LDR. Facts!! Lesson learned 😨
I’m just going to say that this same mindset is in the Manosphere, where men are told not to tell women or their girlfriend their problems or struggles because those same women will “throw it in your faces later in an argument”, or the women will hold it against the men in one way or another. To me, both of these mindsets get people away from vulnerability and honesty, which is what is needed to form romantic and emotional connections in relationships which we all say we want. So, by all means, guard your heart, but don’t shut it off. Men, just like women- people I should say- can only respond to what you tell and show them. And, on top of that, communication can be hard anyway, so, not expressing what you really feel by holding back or editing what you feel as a strategy has the potential to compound current and potential communication issues that have yet to reveal themselves between one another.
It takes me a minimum of six months to start getting to know someone. So I keep my legs closed!
Some of them show their character if you disagree on something. How they approach the conflict shows their character.
That’s right and never get pregnant less than 1 year by a guy too
From London Brixton. Watch out for the men who do the long haul. They will keep up appearances, until u think u have won them over. Then ...bam... don't wife a man.period
Absolutely!
Thats good that you do that. But you know according. To that simp ks. He says you not supposed to save your self geez im a man and ks its really something the fuck wrong with him
These so called “nice guys” will also throw temper tantrums when things don’t no their way!
Said 🙌🏽
Immature toddlers
Why do women blame themselves for a man's behavior. Thank God he showed you who he was, believe him. A man that likes you or is interested in you wants you to feel good and treats you well. Even if you disagree in some issues. I could go in, but the short version is RUN .
I wonder the same thing. I think it’s a mixture of hope and insecurity. You want it to be better, and assuming that it is something in you that made it worse. I think ultimately, I think it is a feeling of being undeserving (which to me is a side affect of being objectified in general by men and society).
Thank you 💜
Sometimes it settle, and these guys are good manipulators, really good manipulators. They convince you that your wrong and overreacting.
Amen. I had one argue, with scripture, that dating online is a sin, while saying while “unhappily married isn’t a sin!” Good bye
Some men will condition the women to accept blame bc he blames HER for his behavior. Manipulators and abusive types. We can't even judge.
The pain of being mistreated is something that stings deep. If a man does this in the early stages of a relationship, lick your wounds, look up to the heavens, and thank your lucky stars that you learned of his true nature sooner, rather than later down the path. Learning about this later is when the pain and wounds take much longer to heal. Yes, it is disappointing to learn that someone is toxic when you thought he was nice, but by revealing his dark nature, he opened a door for you to escape so take it and leave quickly.
Amen! You're telling the TRUTH 💯💯 💯❤️❤️❤️
EXACTLY!!!
So true...the pain of being mistreated is so dark n deep...n it makes u addicted to get the nicer version of that person back..may b because of ego or low self esteem or love or atraction or watever
It's actually a good idea to make him mad early on to see how he reacts for your own safety. If you find out too late it can have irreversibly scary/dangerous cons.
@@realtruth3762 I wouldn't say consciously try to make him mad. But don't shy away from an argument. And see how that goes I guess. Idk. Lol
“Now he’s treating you like shit cause he still wants something from you but he has to teach you a lesson. He has to teach you how you treat him with disrespecting you” …”a man capable of mistreating you was always capable of mistreating you”
Thank you for that .
I felt them lines too
True.
When someone shows you who they are believe them!
🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏 a man that wants to teach you how to deal with mistreatment should be shown silently and quickly that loneliness is the only date that they’ll ever need.
I feel like a huge settle flag is when he doesn’t speak during your date. Guys are not mysterious. That is a tactic. If you’re on a date and he is not talking, “listening” and you’re mostly talking- RUN. He is NOT shy. He is NOT introverted or nervous, he is gather information.
Yep, and we women get too comfortable and talk too much! Giving guys content to manipulate! 🤦🏾♀️
YuP that's why I let them talk and give them enough room to hang themselves.
Yes, good one.
Yesss I always say this. The emotionally unavailable ones is a huge red flag. They're either hiding something really big about them or they just there for the games
This is so true. I dated a guy like this, and guess what I didnt tell him anything about me either. Dead silence
My father told me when I first started dating, “a good man treats his mother and a hooker the same. If he disrespects the waitress, the boy at the concession stand, the person mopping the office building etc... and one day it will be you. A good person is always a good person and would prefer to walk away than to come out of character.”
My mother would say, “cut him loose and see who he really is.”
Amazing
Thanks for sharing!
It’s very manipulative. I met a guy similar to this. He was so sweet and nice. When I didn’t offer to buy him grocery, he went all the way off. Mind you, we weren’t officially dating, definitely wasn’t my man. He talked crazy to me, called me out my name, then, in an almost crying voice, asked me, “when are you going to do something for me?” I left. Quickly. He called me 2 months later asking if I wanted to try again. Told him no. Moved on. It’s not worth my peace.
It is not your obligation to get ANY fully grown adult groceries. It is a nice gesture, but never an obligation. And no one has a right to demand that from you.
Never date men that less money than you.
Good! Thank you sis
Hilariousssss 🤣🤣🤣
Ladies , we are held to a higher standard than men , we need to start being a lot more picky
U don't really know a person until u pissed them off deep
Disagree, they are their emotions when they are pissed off.
@@aldra8507 I disagree. Even when angered and someone can't control themselves they're not gonna go from one person to another. Trust what you see. How many people use their anger and an excuse to be abusive and nasty? How many men hit women and used their anger as an excuse? The op is right. People who blame their anger dodge accountability.
These are the type of men I always meet. It has gotten to the point if I ever meet a nice guy I won't believe it, because time and time again the mask would fall and I will see the demons in them.
@@helenarichard 😅😂
Exactly same here
Y'all better than me. I couldn't stomach my food if I was on a dinner date with a guy who's personality I found to be utterly distasteful. I don't want to be in the company of men with whom I have no respect for. When I am eating dinner, I want the company to be pleasant. I'd rather eat by myself than be in the company of people I deplore. As far as narcissistic men or women, I prefer to stay the eff away from them if at all possible. Because, I mirror people, and those types of people don't like their reflection.
@@sanchietrent483 💯
I totally understand! I'm 63 and this is my reality. I don't like feeling this way. But, their games seem to have no end.
There's a guy at my job that likes me. He keeps telling me that he's a good man( unsolicited) ,but sometimes he "jokes" about wanting to hit me or beat me up when I set a boundary with him. I told him that he's abusive . He says that he's just joking with me 🙄. Why would a "good man" have to try to convince me that they are good? I would see that for myself. My intuition is picking up something different.
If they have to convince you with words rather than showing you, chances are they really are abusive and are just trying to hide until further down the line when you do get involved with them
@@iheartmarkipliergame Thank you!!! That's honestly what I've been picking up. He's trying to convince himself that he's a good man and hoping someone else believes him.
@@JanniqueB89
A genuine good man has no need to announce that. They let their actions show for themselves
@@sophisticatedmm3632 yes exactly
Always listen to what a man “jokes” about. Most of the time they’re actually testing your limits and tolerance to disrespect.
This would be a red flag in my book. By saying this, he’s showing he’s unconcerned about offending or scaring you.
WOW 😮 SPOT ON 🎯
Omg i love your videos ✨✨✨✨❤️
Breeny & Kev are my favoritessss! 💛
Some guys give themselves away quite early on, the backhanded insults creep in as early as the "talking phase" of your interaction.
Amen very true.
👸bingo! backhanded insults in the beginning is to🤡 test of ur self-esteem or lack of, to see how u accept 🤬disrespect. run 🏃♀️!
Facts!
Mine was under the guise of "just joking!" I don't think he realised he was coming off from a place of jealousy and inadequacy cause when I confronted him to fix it, he thought I was crazy. Left quickly!
Dating seems to be the hardest thing on earth. May God save women. It's too much to handle
This is why I just give up. I can't stand being vulnerable or open with men anymore. I'm open to arranged marriage or something and even that's only when I want kids. I have lost the ability of loving a man and can live without it now.
I just escaped an almost 2 year relationship like this . I was so invested in this person that I started losing myself and becoming depressed . I literally woke up one day , got tired of the hot and cold treatment and decided to break things off with him . It wasn’t easy . He stalked and harassed me for weeks . I ended up getting a temporary order of protection and even that made things worse . I was still getting threats . I say all this to say , be careful out there ladies .
Sounds like a malignant narcissist. Sounds like my evil, demonic ex. Be careful bc they are NOT normal and will do any and everything to destroy you!
This advice includes ladies of all ages
I ran into this. He was such a nice guy. All of a sudden, he turned into a different person. Very true. He was pretending. I just walked away. Blocked his number, and never looked back. Seriously.
He wasn’t lying when he said that type of person was dangerous tho. 💁🏽♀️
Every time the withdrawals set in and I'm fighting not to reach out to him, I come across a blessed video like this that's like a slap to the face. These videos remind me that I'm on the right track by no contact.
Be strong sis
same here
Stay No contact 💜
Hang in there sis. I’m in the same situation 💪🏽💪🏽 we got this!
I tried no contact for a few days went on vacay. Reached out to him, ( I know I shouldn't have).
It’s the love bombing for me… in a few weeks that wears off if things aren’t going quick enough
So much this!!!!
Love bombing is a huge red flag and it usually comes off as " fake" to me.
True!!!
I know what it’s like to deal with a pathological narcissist. I wouldn’t wish that on my own worst enemy. But There are great guys out there. I promise!
And there are great women out there too! Just in case any man stumbles upon this channel from one of the manosphere channels.
I'm really trying to believe that.
I have given up
A guy did this to me when we were in varsity. He was very sweet and pursued me until I lowered my guard and gave him a 'chance'. He immediately flipped on me. I didn't understand what was going on, so I unintentionally 'chased' him. He spread lies and rumors about me telling people I was clingy and obsessed with him. It was a mess. I eventually realized this dude was messed up, but it really hurt. I had trusted him and thought he was a decent human being. I guess my lesson was to cut ties immediately if a guy doesn't treat me th way I deserve to be treated.
Lolololol!!! “Your in danger get the **** away from people like that!” The way you said that. Thank you for being so blunt.
Lololololol!!!!!
He's cool aye 💯🥰😍❤
He wasn't trying to be funny sweetheart, it's very serious. He's not talking about no ordinary player, I dated a guy who was a sociopath. He lacked empathy. Never seen anything like it. It's very scary. He's trying to help you. Try to take that message a little bit more serious, the spectrum is very real.
That is true I have heard from my mom tell me a drunk person it's telling how he feels about you the liquor just gave him courage and also how he treats you is how he feels about you
OMG!!! This is exact what happened to me recently, super sweet and then boom, so rude and disrespectful....
I thought I was the only one here!!! Thanks Kev🤝
Showing their whole ass
I'm so used to dating coaches and influencers talking about men that are dogs, they don't ever talk about actual REAL narcissism or sociopathy. Thank you for shedding light on that topic, it is VERY important and women need to know about it. There are men that are players and dogs and they will disregard your feelings in favor of their own selfish needs, that's normal. But nobody ever talks about extreme narcissism or sociopathic behavior that can get women hurt or killed if they don't recognize the signs and leave ASAP. There are selfish men out here to watch out for, that's true. But I think that people should talk more about dating someone who actually lacks empathy and fakes their personality to manipulate others.
There is enough. Ramani, Sam valkin richard grannon real ones. And UA-cam is full of bs narc knowers and have no clue what they are talking about and most likely self the cluster b personality.
It should be a subject or class in schools and colleges.. especially for freshman in college 💯💯
Yup, I just got out of a relationship like this. The emotional and mental abuse is real though. You are SPOT ON‼️
Real Talk
This is spot on,
The last person I dated was a little older than myself, we dated for 8 months. He courted me well and was very attentive and then he began to have doubts about me, going through my phone without my knowledge looking at my conversations, texting guys pretending to be me to get answers, gaslighting me about my past. (meanwhile he flirted with other women on social media and in text) told me to leave his house and his life, only for him to call and apologize , and do it all over again.
Everything is a learning lesson. I’m glad that now I can see through the bs.
Woah. You deserved way better. 8months is psycho behavior. Hope your doing well
He is speaking the truth! Anyone who needs a lil boost to stay far away from these dangerous types should watch the Ted Bundy Tapes. Everybody always said ol Ted was a real charming character (Prince Charming wears red flags!!!).... After a 17 year marriage to a sociopath im here to tell you, listen to this man! Keep your life out of danger because these types are dangerous and unpredictable! And being with one is no way to live!
Holy smokes. 17 year marriage is sociopath behavior. I hope everything is well with you. 🙏
I had to LEARN to RECIPROCATE when people do me wrong just like you said! I allowed so much because of my happiness and kind demeanor. NOT ANYMORE! THANK YOU MR. HICK REALLY APPRECIATE YOU 💯💕
I’m so used to taking everyone at face value because for 20 yrs I’ve been insulated raising my kids. I got lucky with the few adults I met along the way, abd I’ve only ever been mildly taken advantage of.
I used to always say it’s a balancing act I’m trying to figure out. I just said that because I had no idea how.
And Now? Single again and used to taking care of others ? Let’s just say I’m thankful I didn’t develop any lasting mental problems.
Silver lining? I suddenly saw a lot of WHY I behaved and reacted they way I did that left me vulnerable.
I now have a list of things to fix: 1) not taking personally what others say that hurt. I phrased it like that because things still do hurt. It’s not easy to pause and step back to observe. 2) when I figure out why I am hurt by those things it’s up to me to stop letting them actually hurt me. Fear of abandonment is a bitch.
3) And I’m learning how to set boundaries. Motherhood kinda left me bossy and controlling so .. that’s a thing.
And since I’m trying to be nice? It easily used against me. And with personal boundaries I’ve discovered that grammar matters as is enforcing them. No ‘if you than I”s because boundaries surround me.
4) I am learning to simply walk away if anyone steps over my line in the sand. Not easy because I sure do want to speak my mind.
How do you reciprocate? I hesitate to ask, but honestly? Just knowing how to do that would give me some confidence. Kind of like knowing a martial art is it’s own protection.
Me too! I’m learning how to stand my ground and give them that nasty hit back
You said it. Take note of behaviour. When a genuine nice person is hurt or angry, they want to clear the air, discuss, not blame. A not nice person will blame you for everything- the line up was too long, dinner is horrible, be rude & inconsiderate of others consistently unless it is in their advantage to treat someone well.
Watch behaviour
Ladies believe him what he’s saying because I was in a relationship for 1.5 years with a dude who had such traits who used to blame me switch over completely with his behaviour each time when I used to complain about his inconsistency and giving me bare minimum. I was so attached to him that I was unable to leave him, took all the blame listened to his crap blaiming me for no reason just to hide his flaws and in the end he ended up leaving me and going out for some other chick who’s life he must be ruining right now. At that point I didn’t knew your UA-cam channel and was clouded by my emotions but now when I’m over it and seeing your videos I clear know what a selfish narcissist person I was dealing with. I wish I had found this channel before.
Omg! I had a situation like this a while back. The guy was nice until he thought I said something negative about him. I clarified what I actually said and he still got mad. I was like, if he's this mad over something he thought I said. Wait until I actually say or do something he doesn't like. Needless to say, I left his crazy behind alone!!
This was my last relationship, after almost 2 years I accepted that the person he was for the first 3 months wasn't coming back and I finally gave up on the relationship
This is what I have gotten this week. This guy changed all of a sudden because I didn't agree with him on something. And what he said a lot and he decided to cancel everything. This video comes on time helps me understand it's not fair for him to inflict emotional pain on me for any reason
And its not even that you did anything most of the time. It's just the fact that they feel like "oh the nice guy isn't getting IT maybe the villain can get it" and it was the villain all along and the good guy was only an act
Yeah. Thats why we Always say...be careful of these so called "nice guys". Cause Anybody can act nice. Cause nice is an act. Being a Good Person...A Good Man...thats about your Character. Your character and morals and stuff. Those will be revealed in time. But don't just confuse just cause he treats you nice in the beginning, that he's automatically a good man. IJS
That's exactly the part that pissed me off. I gave the nice guy a chance, but your purposely choosing to be a villian
Villain, thats the exact word for their meanness in words.
Man and they will play you until they can't. Your good behavior will not change him. Run...fast as heck!
Omg you could be speaking just to me. I recently met and dated a guy for 7 mths like this. His behaviour was night and day. He was perfect for 6 mths then i wondered what i had done wrong. Rude and disrespectful and messing with my head. I walked away. Not for me.
This was amazing! After a 5 year cycle of toxic I finally realized I was dealing with this same type of guy you described - so happy god gave me the strength to leave.
This had to be said brother. Thank you for using your platform to call these men out. They've done so much damage to our society.
I seem to find narcissistic jerks , they all start out great
Might be that you're using dating apps. Narcs LOVE them.
@@bratzsnoopy smart man lol
Seriously though. They flock to dating apps because it's easy supply. It's their hunting ground.
@@bratzsnoopy well I turned 51 a few weeks ago and I’ve been single for a while now because it took me this long to realize my worth . I’m a very sweet confident funny sarcastic woman . I am told I intimidate men . Where can I find a good man??
@@deirdreilardo8238 Good men are everywhere. Let him find you. Once you stop worrying about where to find a good man he'll come to you when you least expect it. Continue to work on yourself. Blessings to you.
'What he gives is his responsibility, but what I accept is mine' - amen to that! I've been growing and learning a lot, sharpening my discernment and I'm grateful your content is part of my growth, Kev! Thank you!
👀
That fake nice guy is true too.
Thats what he's talking about. That's why I keep telling women to don't confuse these so called "nice guys"..with real Genuine Good Men.
This seems to be the key we women miss out on! Some men pretend to be nice guys
This is my brother. We live together and he does malicious things to me. Our relationship is basically destroyed at this point because if his evil ways.....
Same I know what this is like as I live with my older toxic brother too
Thank you!! I just had this happen with a guy I went to kindergarten through high school with. We re-connected. He thinks I’m the quiet, shy chick he knew 40 years ago, I’m not. He hated it. I finally slammed him so hard, he told me to leave him alone, awesome, it worked. I was tired of the silent treatment…the punishment, for something I said or didn’t do for him, only to have him deny, deny, deny, that he was giving me the silent treatment. He’s blocked and gone. I couldn’t have done it without your knowledgeable videos. Again, Thank you 🙏
I just met this guy off line & I swear he was saying all the right things at the beginning. I appreciate these videos because I took all the right steps and I believe at the beginning that this guy was really a good guy. We spoken otp consistently and he decided that he wanted to come see me. I did agree but I made it clear where I was going with this. I told him everything I was comfortable with and what I wasn’t comfortable with, also mentioned that I gave a close relative his info because at the end of the day we’re still strangers until we’re not…when he heard about me giving my relative his info this was the first red flag because this man who I thought was kind and understanding got completely upset with me doing that. Said things along the line of me being “weird” and inconsiderate for not telling him first and for that moment I thought maybe I was being those things but quickly brought myself back and stood my ground and told him this is about my well-being , you’re still a stranger to me. He apologized and acted as if he understood but it still didn’t sit right in my soul…fast forward this man comes to my city , unprepared and with no hotel booked & when I tried to take him to a nice stay in the city he disregarded and picked a hole in the wall spot… I didn’t understand bc he gave this impression that he was this real well off guy. Fast forward again we went out a lil bit, he asked me if I wanted to drink some wine, I told him no I rather go out to do something else and before doing so he asked if I wanted to come up and sit in his room while he showers and get ready. I told him no once again bc I was uncomfortable with that and it was like he turned a switch. He got really upset , told me he didn’t wanna go out anymore , that I was acting weird and too bougie to go inside , I was also a disappointment and he could’ve stayed back in his city… then this man goes to tell me that he’s not broke & he has all this money, start sending me screenshots of his bank accounts & bunch of unnecessary stuff I didn’t ask for … all this stuff was confusing bc I was very transparent at the beginning about my intent and he was the one who decided to come here…. Look I just took my shit and drove far away from that guy pressed blocked and moved on. All I gotta say is Ladies be safe out here , there are really wolves dressed in sheep clothing! Bc my gut was telling me something was off and only as I’m typing this I’m realizing how this could’ve went real bad
Its good you had all your standards in place, before he came to see you. Reading this you can see all the setups he seemed to wanted you to fall for. Come and sit and wait for you while he showered. But you kept saying we are strangers. Good for you! Then his true colors came out. Because a healthy dater wouldn't put you a stranger through what he was suggesting. Yikes!
I'm bawling my eyes out because I was blind for 5-6 years and it affected my whole life and all of my family members.
I can't even tell you how guilty I feel. So many people that was hurt by watching me dissapere. Can't hardly write because of tears
I know this feeling. Do you still feel like you’ve disappeared or have you found yourself again?
I was once told the reason why I'm single is because I don't give relationship time. The person said that I must go through the relationship by taking certain $#!+ From the man. I told her that sounds like someone desperate. We haven't talked to each other in months 🤣🤷🏾♀️.
P.S. She's been with this guy for 10yrs, no proposal, he has 4 other kids by another woman during this 10yrs.
Whew! Keep telling the girls about it. I spent 2.5 years trapped in an abusive relationship with a man like the one you're describing. When emotions actually got involved and times got hard (COVID) the emotional manipulation turned to physical abuse. He did NOT come with me into 2021 and been blocked ever sense
Good For You!!!!
@6:00 "What someone tries to give to you is their bad, but whatever you put up with is your bad!"
@3:06 "Usually it's Never gonna get back to how it was when you met him, he might give it to you periodically!"
So true, this video made me cry. This happened to me after I got married it wasn’t a week good he flipped out on me. Gave me rules, said I couldn’t have a phone and I wasn’t allowed to speak to my family. I left after he put his hands on me. Yea his was a very “minister” the devil in cheap clothing!
I noticed that usually the fake nice guys seem to talk about how they are such nice guys all the time. To impress you. Real nice guys don’t have to talk about how nice they are. It’s like this with a lot of things in life. If someone talks a lot about how their this or that all the time, it’s probably a false image. If you want to see if a guy is a nice guy see how other people talk about Him. How does he treat other people? How does he talk about other people when they minorly inconvenience him?
Thank you Kevin. You have no idea how much your words mean to me..
You come across as honest, straight up and decent. And this one truly spoke to me.
I can't thank you enough
I love how kevin is so straight up, he really knows his stuff. Hard facts, no sugar coating. And he Totally makes sense, best dating coach ever
Dealt with a narc like this it was horrible, had no idea these kind of people existed. So strategic, manipulative, and destructive. Turned out to be a Nigerian conman that lives in Canada Calgary to be exact🇨🇦 full of lies, stealing information from countless women “acting” like a boyfriend & fiancé to steal information and money with a whole lot of mind games.
A few years ago I dated a narcissist who changed up from his nice guy self to his real self. I had to get the hell away from him because you are so right...Mr. nice guy never came back.
My god!!!! Wish I heard this advice 20years ago!!!! The mistakes iv made with men!!! Countless!!! 😢😢😢 iv lost the best years of my youth being with the 'wrong guys' !!!
And now at this age (mid 40's), it's soooo hard finding a genuine man who dont have baggage!!
@2:02 "if someone can change the entire trajectory just cause you did or said something pretty minor, it wasn't the true them initially!
When they are mad is when you’ll see what’s what….
I wish I had seen this 6 months ago…covert narcissism can be so subtle that by the time you realize what’s going on it’s too late the damage has been done. I’d hear people talk about narcissist but I had never experienced one before now and the recovery from that is long and tedious, but I’m determined to not allow that experience to change who I am…it changed somethings about how I handle men in relationships and how I view & vet them, but I’m still me, but with better boundaries and better equipped to spot and dead any behavior/interactions that feel off! thank you and please keep making these videos they are helping people.
Even worse is when they're the ones who did something to hurt you and when you try to call them out they get upset abd turn things around to make it seem like they're the victim, you're the bad guy for pointing out what they did wrong and paint themselves as holy and good.
Sounds like my husband of 12 yrs who's now living with someone else 6 blocks from in a very very small town. A town with 2 stop lights 1 grocery store and 1 pharmacy.
I am a therapist & this is one of THE BEST videos I have watched regarding relationships.
Thank you! 😊 I’m honored to hear that.
I like the fact that you mentioned You really don't know a person until you have pissed them off. I remember growing up and hearing my older family members say that but back then i did not really know what they ment or was talking about.
He has said a mouthful....that is a red flag to teach someone how to treat you through disrespect. Why not open your mouth and tell someone how you want to be treated? That's what mature people do. Many a man feels like you should tolerate disrespect because he choses to punishing/disciplining you because you act as you feel not as they want. Real nice people don't flip the script....just like this handsome man said. Listen to this whole video!!!!!!!!!!!
Yes and how they react to us speaking our mind will be the final test if he is decent and mature or an assh.
Wow! This was on point! I am that nice girl who has a hard time dishing back the negativity I get from others. It feels counterfeit, so I just cut ties. I can't control anyone else's behavior but my own, so when guys try to say I made them "this way" I take that as my cue to bounce for good!
Why you always gotta be right? Lmao.. i clicked so fast on this notification btw. Thanks for the great content as always.
Users and losers, one in the same!! You hit it out the park again Kevin, thank you!
SIR!!
I am one of those person’s who treat you genuine and my folks have said this to me coming up about giving people the same energy back. I don’t like coming outta my face.
“Welcome to your toxic relationship” 🥴
Everything you said is accurate I’ve been there and experienced that. It’s hard to cut it off once you’ve allowed yourself to fall for the trap but it’s worth saving yourself from real pain and danger
This is very true, and very eye opening. I can't believe I didn't catch this sooner
I really believe that anyone human teach people how to treat them, but what I really found helpful in my healing process is the reason why I allowed people to treat me that way is because I was treating myself that way, my words could say don't but somewhere deep down I self sabotaged myself and I was putting out a magnet based on a reflection of how I felt internally it didn't stop until I healed within myself to understand the why to know what really was going on, so I'm sharing with all who may be in that stage, we must Believe we deserve good and honest and kind and and and but we must also put that out, and believe that through how we treat ourselves first and foremost but others, our work our values and in order for me to even fathom what that actually meant I had to self reflect on the past and let it go, taking with it an appreciation of the wisdom within the experiences that lead me to this point, but removing any attachments so they were easier for me to let go, that is the completion of a cycle or a long series of the same lesson draped in a different costume each time I stubbornly was resistant to change. Sending all my love and light as a beacon of hope and illumination at the end of the tunnel!
Dang, I fell for the hook. I already know I should let if go. This is my exact situation. The video actually pissed me off because it was so accurate .
it's a legal form of sadism
Exactly
I had a nice guy pretend to be my friend. A caring friend but a friend nonetheless. He recently after 4yr of friendship decided that because he now wanted me that our fake ass friendship was good enough to skip all levels of 2 people who are dating to even come to that conclusion. He end up yelling at me for not reciprocating his feelings that he had the whole time and had built up frustration for not expressing himself before his feelings became deeper. He didn't even know how to express his attraction to me because he was a friend and technically he didn't know how to seperate himself from being a friend. Weird but sad because I no longer want to be his friend.
As an English teacher I find it very funny how you are using slang and i am learning lots of phrases from you, which I didn't know, having English as a second language: " they kick themselves in the ass", "they work their ass off", " they kiss up his ass", "he is so far up his own ass", "he decided to show his ass". Anyway, the videos are super educating and eye opening! Thank your"ass"a lot! ❤
💯”Treat yourself the way you want others to treat you”💝
I can't tell you how many times I set the years I've sent your videos to my friends BECAUSE you helped me kick bad People for GOOD! THANK YOU!
I want to add that bc I've dealt with so many fake people out was really hard for me to trust my current man why has consistently been amazing for almost 1.5 years ❤️
I adapt to change by matching energies...
Yessss!! Did that he didn't like it 🤷😁 Had to learn that
Thanks Kev! It all makes perfect sense.. I’m pleased to say that I’m completely done with him. I got fed up with the behavior and honestly the more he showed me that side of him the less attractive he became. But I agree that you don’t really know who they are till they mad 🎯 💯
Guys like he described will ruin you and are very unhappy people. They are so good at manipulating that you will start to think everything that happened was your fault. They never take accountability for anything even if they do they pretend so as to punish you. They have a way of robbing you of your self worth because they are good at concealing their misery. Best advice ghost them never return. Heal build your self worth and be deliberate in choosing who to love. Staying whole they are afraid of people who love themselves and have good self identify.
Alright now, Kev!
Slay with those Superchats!
You and your Family are most deserving of them!
Grandma used to say...
"Don't gauge a man by when he's calm and happy. Watch how he talks to you and acts when he's angry!"
I don't have those problems and I don't tolerate none of that. Act right or keep it moving. I know someone going thru it. I already told her let em go.
THANK YOU SO MUCH GOD USE YOU TO GELP ME. I CRIED BECAUSE I APOLOGIZE TO SOMEONE AND ASK FOR A SECOND CHANCE HE IGNORES ME AND KEEP READING. HE NEVER REPLY BACK UNTIL I LEAVE IT ALONE. I WATCH YOUR VIDEOS WOW. GOD BLESS YOU IM FREE THANK YOU JESUS CHRIST AMEN 🙏 THE WAY A MAN TREATS YOU IS THE WAY THEY FEEL ABOUT YOU 😇🥰😃
The lovebombing for sex is super high these days atleast for me . I met men telling me they in love with me the first day we meet LMAO 😭😭😭😭😭😭
Tell the truth Kev! Just recently experienced this. Smh. An ol covert narc trying to project his bs onto me. He didn’t like my response which led to the silent treatment and narcissist injury. I went no contact, block and delete😏🤷🏽♀️
I find myself digging up this video so I can share it with the many successful women in my life. I can't believe what I'm seeing these women put up with. I can't get half of them to even watch it because they know what they need to do, but don't want to be alone. Very sad.
Experienced this like this exactly 💯💯💯🎯🎯🎯 thanks Kev🖤❣️
Going through something similar. At first I was blaming myself. 3 weeks ago, I broke it off after reading about narcissistic behaviour and traits. He said I'm not "easy," meaning I'm too strong, and I have standards. He was playing the with holding game, being rude, silent treatment, and a whole host of narsicistic behaviours. Whe I broke up with him He was trying to say he wants to at least keep me as a friend or sister. I cut all ties straight away. During the three months of dating after 1 year of chasing me, I saw different traits, went through gasslighting, and so on. I'm a confident professional and I noticed he tried to break me, chatter my confidence and isolate me from my network. When it didn't work "Mr. Nice Guy" disappeared faster than "speedy Gonzalez " The intimidation didn't work either. I simply walked a way with my head held high and my dignity intact, knowing that I deserved better. For me, the red glass were too many abg my gut and intuition were on point. I walked away.
Wish I would’ve known this years ago but we live and we learn
I remembered this guy I was “dating” he was nice in the beginning and told me he use to be a f*ckboy but not anymore and I believe him till month 3 hit when he got pissed because I sent him a picture of my cat and he knew I loved cats and I had 3 of them I thought it was kinda weird of him swearing too much and getting mad , after that he would say rude things knowing it would make me upset then try to play it off , well we didn’t last long anyways and later I found out he cheated and was beating on his ex girlfriend there’s rumors right now that he r*pe somebody too I believe that cause I notice when we have sex he goes way beyond my limits despite me telling him I don’t do certain things and he gets overly aggressive I’m glad he’s getting his karma now tho
If he went way beyond your limits- isn’t that considered rape? I mean, if it’s not something you wanted to do, and he didn’t stop, isn’t that the fundamental definition?
@@seymorepencilart Looks like it, sexual boundaries were crossed .
I dated someone just like this. Girl run and don’t look back
@@icildamurray4583 trust me i did , just the other day he added me on social media i blocked him
This is PERFECTLY described. Thank You. This is exactly real 100% to the T.
I’m very sweet I need to be stronger because I always get hurt and cry TIME TO BUILD UP MORE AND PROTECT MYSELF
One of your best videos Kev!! Great job! I just shared this with a couple of my single female friends who are going through this right now. I can't wrap my head around how they are putting up with this behavior, but I was married to one for 15 years so I can spot it from a mile away now.
@4:00 soooo true! Still working on it. And it's not, "...who they believe slighted them."
It is who slighted them cause genuinely gentle, empathetic, loving humans do Not pretend people slighted them, that's the narcissists role! 🙄
You just have to be really mentally strong/stable to date now and days & be ok with the fact that sometimes its not gonna work out, you might get your feelings hurt & learn to walk away quickly when you see red flags. If you dont accept this youll always be in fear.