I Conquered ALL OF BRITAIN as the MOST POWERFUL DYNASTY in Crusader Kings 3

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  • Опубліковано 21 лис 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 192

  • @Koifish
    @Koifish  Рік тому +38

    Experience the thrilling combat of Warhaven starting 9/20 18:00 PDT - and the best part? It's completely free-to-play! If you haven't added Warhaven to your Steam wishlist yet, now's the time: wehy.pe/y/22/Koifish

    • @terrifictomato262
      @terrifictomato262 11 місяців тому

      youtube told me you uploaded this 4 hours ago im so confused

    • @ferea_896
      @ferea_896 8 місяців тому

      7:02 MERRY/ON/NYD/D the last D is mute. It is spoken like MerryONNYD. Like merry(is)ON(the)NYD(new York district) Merryonnyd. Ignoring the second D. It’s mute

  • @Ypsilon66
    @Ypsilon66 Рік тому +484

    Heasteinn is no longer a addiction It's a lifestyle

    • @gunner6233
      @gunner6233 Рік тому +17

      just like alcohol

    • @FNCH314
      @FNCH314 Рік тому +5

      The only true lifestyle

    • @OsamaBinBurnin
      @OsamaBinBurnin Рік тому +9

      He is the best character at game start to do basically anything you want to do. Asia, Africa, India Dont matter it’s all fun with the Jarl

    • @phansey
      @phansey Рік тому +9

      Yeah don't you know there's martial, stewardship, diplomacy, intrigue, learning and heasteinn

    • @mariox204
      @mariox204 Рік тому +4

      And koifish want to complete the 3 trees

  • @teal_m_101
    @teal_m_101 Рік тому +207

    The kings don't want you to know this, but the monks at the monasteries are free. You can take them home, I have 458 monks.

    • @PraiseJ-Pope
      @PraiseJ-Pope Рік тому +15

      What are you doing with so many monks? It's not luke they're laying eggs for your breakfast?

    • @HandyDandy6
      @HandyDandy6 Місяць тому +1

      ​@PraiseJ-Pope even better, monks brew beer

  • @Swedishmafia101MemeCorporation
    @Swedishmafia101MemeCorporation Рік тому +152

    Other men during a mid-life crisis: "I'm gonna start repairing an old car to feel young again"
    Jarl Hæsteinn during a mid-life crisis:

  • @Bigdohxp
    @Bigdohxp Рік тому +125

    I suppose it's true what they say about rebounding into addiction. You don't fall a bit, you fall HARD. He began by playing him, took him to Africa and Asia. Then brave Koifish found sense and stopped. He found joy in other places. And now he falls back and makes Haesteinn an entire dynasty that will eventually conquer the world. F in the chat for a fallen man

  • @Threxer
    @Threxer Рік тому +90

    Haesteinn Fact: He was the first person in medieval Europe to jump over the English Channel, he did this by wearing very long shoes.

  • @iKyleTz
    @iKyleTz Рік тому +46

    i've been playing as Abyssinia recently, has been a really fun playthrough in a different than normal area. Made it into a huge empire, one of the few christian realms in east africa so lots of easy holy wars, would recommend it!

  • @ravager2-636
    @ravager2-636 Рік тому +36

    Koifish: Aren’t all names made up..?
    No, Koifish Koifishson they are not..

    • @ahhno4662
      @ahhno4662 Рік тому +3

      well how else do you come up with them then???

  • @nerussoulfire6021
    @nerussoulfire6021 Рік тому +10

    That one cronicler who has to deal with all the names will have just a bit of an headache! Bless the Viking lifestyle

  • @bradleyhicks7252
    @bradleyhicks7252 Рік тому +50

    Reminder that last time Koifish conquered all of Britannia he:
    1. Became a saint
    2. Constructed a cathedral in honor of a foreskin relic
    3. Conquered too well and restored the Roman Empire before achieving his campaign victory condition

    • @OverlordMalarkey
      @OverlordMalarkey Рік тому +2

      Let me guess... this happened in CK2?

    • @bradleyhicks7252
      @bradleyhicks7252 Рік тому +4

      @@OverlordMalarkey Yes, his "The Conqueror" challenge series. If you haven't seen it, highly recommend. Absolutely beautiful CK2 chaos.

    • @OverlordMalarkey
      @OverlordMalarkey Рік тому +1

      @@bradleyhicks7252 HE'S A SAINT?!

  • @heinzlilio4612
    @heinzlilio4612 Рік тому +58

    Koifish should try playing William the Conqueror as he is technically a descendant of a viking

    • @Nope77252
      @Nope77252 Рік тому +2

      I would pay to see that

    • @Gorbz
      @Gorbz Рік тому +7

      The Normans. Vikings who kept raiding France until the king paid them to stop and settle down instead, so that nobody else would try to raid them too.

    • @TheNickamd
      @TheNickamd Рік тому +2

      He actually did something very similar in CK 2. And that series was an absolute blast

    • @Nope77252
      @Nope77252 Рік тому +1

      @@TheNickamd Thanks. I'll probably watch that next!

  • @UncleGoose1
    @UncleGoose1 Рік тому +13

    That's usually how my viking adventures go in Britain. If you leave England alone to long they get strong. Way to stick it out in your war against England! We are proud of you Koifish; to face such adversity and prevail. How heroic! The bards shall tell tails and sing song and the subscribers shall raise a rune stone in your honor!

  • @Bern_il_Cinq
    @Bern_il_Cinq Рік тому +7

    I was mindblown when you went for Scotland and England at the same time… and then you died! The struggle for northern England in the years after that had me stressing on your behalf. Nice series 👍

  • @breadstick4458
    @breadstick4458 Рік тому +20

    This whole episode is just an eternal war for England lol

  • @Ymylock
    @Ymylock Рік тому +7

    Praise be the HAESTINGSAGA

  • @WisdomLearner
    @WisdomLearner Рік тому +3

    Next update they should put Koifish as one of the possible names for Haesteinn descendants

  • @orirotem2298
    @orirotem2298 Рік тому +7

    The golden duo koifish&haesteinn

  • @ohuckabee
    @ohuckabee Рік тому +1

    >be playing HoloCure's fishing minigame
    >catch a Koi Fish
    >""Hellu iferyune, my neme is Koifish. Hefe yuoo ifer vundered vhet it vuoold be leeke iff Jerl Haesteinn beceme a VToober?"
    GET OUT OF MY HEAD GET OUT OF MY HEAD GET OUT OF MY HEAD GET OUT OF MY HEAD GET OUT OF MY HEAD GET OUT OF MY HEAD GET OUT OF MY HEAD

  • @demonkingbadger6689
    @demonkingbadger6689 Рік тому +1

    Legend has it, that when Haesteinn dies in game. He conquers Valhalla before his funeral is over. And by the time his son's reign is over, he has snatched Asgard from the rule of Odin himself.

  • @chaostourist2951
    @chaostourist2951 Рік тому +2

    lol mann this was a wild one.
    I'm really enjoying the Dynasty saga playthrough. Not enough ck3 youtubers do full dynasty playthroughs. Usually just one ruler or a specific goal. Really looking forward to what twists and turns are coming

  • @adrix_wastaken2196
    @adrix_wastaken2196 Рік тому +3

    Koifish: gives a lecture about how he wants his vulture to just stay on the usle of man for cultural fascination progress
    Koifish 5 minuts later: begins making Wales his culture💀

  • @Elyseon
    @Elyseon Рік тому +1

    I guess the next step would be going into the Haesteinnverse and getting all the Haesteinns from parallel universes together.

  • @Deamon93IT
    @Deamon93IT Рік тому +1

    Boy it was quite hectic the conquest of England and Scotland, but glory to Haestinnia!

  • @Skeletonoffunn
    @Skeletonoffunn Рік тому

    Oh look a new CKIII vide---- "Haesteinn Vikings take over X"
    And my eyes roll out of my skull.

  • @pivertironlungs7408
    @pivertironlungs7408 Рік тому +1

    I’ve become addicted to Heasteinn

  • @dandyl1on
    @dandyl1on Рік тому +2

    Great. Now I need to do some haesteinning my self, once again!

  • @ShoreshFathi
    @ShoreshFathi Рік тому +5

    Can you conquer all of Skyrim, and maybe even all of Tamriel with Haesteinn?

  • @swiftjusticee
    @swiftjusticee Рік тому +3

    At 0:35 , the title card has Japanese text at the top that reads ヴィンランド・サガ , which is "Vinland Saga". To make it Haesteinn Saga, you should replace it with the text "ヘイスティン・サガ"

  • @elang1702
    @elang1702 Рік тому +2

    The vibe I'm getting from this series is very similar from The Conqueror achievement series that you did in CK2 years ago. I wonder if you had prepared some kind of plot twist in this one

  • @SuperOreally
    @SuperOreally Рік тому

    Just hearing the M&B Soundtrack in the background is top quality editing

  • @BerryGs-1
    @BerryGs-1 Рік тому +1

    Heasteinn has changed my life

  • @plasticbazooka
    @plasticbazooka Рік тому

    Daneland inbound, Danelaw was just the appetizer.

  • @M1ckyCFC
    @M1ckyCFC Рік тому +2

    No no no it’s called the Irish Isles… I’ll even settle for the Celtic Isles.

  • @SilverionX
    @SilverionX 6 місяців тому

    The ducks have multiplied. In an unexpected twist of events, keeping 17 ducks in a closed environment have caused them to spawn more, smaller ducks. Still don't know what to do wit them. Except now there are 42 ducks.

  • @FilipHalvarsson
    @FilipHalvarsson 4 місяці тому

    I’ll be home alone for the next three days and I don’t have school so imma binge watch koifish now

  • @sarsante
    @sarsante Рік тому +2

    @23:44 England is impossible to take when from 17 units of MaA,10 units are light infantry and 5 are bondi Koi. 10 units of varangians would beat them easily.

  • @KaisHistory
    @KaisHistory Рік тому +1

    Make this a mega campaign!

  • @ohNojames
    @ohNojames Рік тому +1

    Can’t wait for the Crusade since you took Canterbury.

  • @jumpnjuno
    @jumpnjuno Рік тому

    I was just playing normally and Haesteinn literally conquered England and ruled it for several generations

  • @ShivTea
    @ShivTea Рік тому

    Can’t wait for the Timelapse

  • @TungstenArm
    @TungstenArm Рік тому

    For the next Haesteinn dynasty video you should focus on building out your Viking daycare program, just abduct random children from around the map and make them Jarls, kings, and queens in Europe

  • @TheMoronicNorwegian
    @TheMoronicNorwegian Рік тому

    Padderborn, the great Åsa-tru holy site in Saxony, has too long been held by milk drinkers. Reclaim it and Germania!

  • @kamalamy
    @kamalamy Рік тому +1

    The World we all wished was true

  • @ElderEagle42
    @ElderEagle42 Рік тому +1

    I would love to se you send Haestinn to middle earth using the realms in exile mod

  • @vetnome
    @vetnome Рік тому +2

    Wake up babe koifish just uploaded

  • @wanaiman2267
    @wanaiman2267 Рік тому

    GOD DAMNIT KOIFISH, I am having a great weekend watching you play these ck3 with haeisteinn.. I love ur videos!

  • @robertrodriguezharo1906
    @robertrodriguezharo1906 Рік тому

    I absolutely need Koifish to make an epic bromantic poetry book about Haesteinn

  • @YunsAvatar
    @YunsAvatar Рік тому

    This is not the video series we deserve, it is the one we want.
    We are unworthy of its power.

  • @williek08472
    @williek08472 Рік тому +7

    I'm not usually a fan of cultural suppression, but renaming all the Welsh counties and converting them made me laugh.
    Also, someone please make a mod that replaces the death sound with Koifish's "AYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!"

  • @obiking4392
    @obiking4392 Рік тому +1

    this must become a mega campaign

  • @doomgronthewitcher6514
    @doomgronthewitcher6514 Рік тому +18

    As a Brit, I see Ireland being included in the British Isles as an absolute win

  • @ShadowWolfRising
    @ShadowWolfRising Рік тому

    Time to raid the Byzantines.
    Also the Canary Islands and Morocco, as those are weirdly good raiding targets.
    Don't forget to hand concubines to your kin.
    Especially if you get any Byzantine princesses.

  • @foolsgold6533
    @foolsgold6533 Рік тому +2

    What about Rurik? He's a cool Viking 😢

  • @ram5s858
    @ram5s858 Рік тому

    The Heasteinn dynasty should conquer all of Scandinavia and see if he can restore the Norse culture

  • @dmgextra1576
    @dmgextra1576 Рік тому

    Haesteinn is love. Haesteinn is life.

  • @dewantoandoko9207
    @dewantoandoko9207 Рік тому

    The continent of Haesteinnia.. Lets Goooo!!!

  • @jonathanbowers9267
    @jonathanbowers9267 Рік тому

    i died when u said the ira thing the one of my suggested videos is Irish rebel music

  • @alatamore
    @alatamore Рік тому +3

    Koifish didn’t choose Haesteinn- life, Haesteinn-life chose Koifish!

  • @AshleyGravesreal
    @AshleyGravesreal Рік тому

    This dude was pretty epic in real history too

  • @witchboy44
    @witchboy44 Рік тому

    Man, CK3 turns you into a fucking war criminal monster….it’s great!

  • @walnzell9328
    @walnzell9328 Рік тому

    Time to make history into Haestory

  • @nicolasgonzalez629
    @nicolasgonzalez629 Рік тому

    that was an intense war

  • @HelenM1994
    @HelenM1994 Рік тому

    Living in Staffordshire, it is a place you can get ambushed well 🤣🤣

  • @leonardo162536
    @leonardo162536 Рік тому

    man i need more episódios
    love from Brasil you are insane good

  • @CrackerSnatcherHardCore
    @CrackerSnatcherHardCore Рік тому +1

    Haestry

  • @AtreidesIV
    @AtreidesIV Рік тому

    I expect Emperor Haestein Moctezuma in Mezoamerica now.

  • @darknoobirl318
    @darknoobirl318 Рік тому +1

    Koifish megacampaign confirmed!?!?!?

  • @dr0g_Oakblood
    @dr0g_Oakblood Рік тому

    19:44 - I’d think of it like you’re paying some administrative fees to have the rest of the clergy support your claim or something

  • @mariox204
    @mariox204 Рік тому

    With the nordic heritage you can do elecctions until 1080 iirc

  • @joespilsbury9825
    @joespilsbury9825 Рік тому

    Yessss koifish you are my hero at this game

  • @potatopeeler7834
    @potatopeeler7834 Рік тому

    Could you do "varagian adventure" into "forge the jomsviking" into "elevate the kingdom of mann & the isles" and finaly "Securing the high kingdom of the north sea"? i cant seem to do it. its really frustrating me. all the while not useing inherited on succession soldiers. so that you have the biggest inheritable army once you have the High kingdom of the north sea?

  • @5in0minus
    @5in0minus Рік тому

    Always a fun watch when a new CK3 vid drops. Gotta wonder why you don't seem to use Blots to get piety at all tough... are they not as good anymore?

  • @adamthestonerful
    @adamthestonerful Рік тому

    This is a Certified Chenso Classic.

  • @sizanogreen9900
    @sizanogreen9900 Рік тому

    buerocratic culture that decides everthing *"by the sword"* ... sounds absolutely hilarious XD

  • @yunusemreyc
    @yunusemreyc Рік тому +1

    Can you pls try to found the OG Roman Empire With Haesteinn

  • @toornery
    @toornery Рік тому

    the Pope throws a Haesteinn fit

  • @Nordique777
    @Nordique777 Рік тому

    I can't wait for the next one

  • @TheColombianSpartan
    @TheColombianSpartan Рік тому

    MORE HAESTAEINN WHOOO-

  • @papstfranziskus4799
    @papstfranziskus4799 Рік тому

    My most anticpated video 2023 so far

  • @dillpickle7583
    @dillpickle7583 Рік тому

    Earth? Nah. Haesteinnia becoming Earth? Yes.

  • @oppenz3723
    @oppenz3723 Рік тому

    The one true ruler

  • @ShayGamerD3
    @ShayGamerD3 Рік тому +2

    I think most players avoid Kin legacy, since it mostly useless: especially if you have concubines and accepted male adultery. There is an another problem: with such settings your dynasty will multiply beyond reasonable numbers even within just 100 years or so. That has a big toll on game's performance, something Paradox wasn't able to fix. If you play a long campaign the number of your dynasty members will go into hundreds or even thousands, and the number of all characters in the game multiplies as well. In a result, you may have difficulties running your game (and this is regardless of the hardware you have, Paradox games get sluggish in long campaigns on any hardware).

  • @bitzarre4549
    @bitzarre4549 Рік тому

    For the love of god Koifish, you need to go to rehab, but for playing Haesteing.

  • @Halal_Lettuce
    @Halal_Lettuce Рік тому +1

    Since you’re an expert in Norsifiying (if that’s a word) Welsh names, could you perhaps Norsify Llanfairpwllguingywnethgogerychwryndroballantysilliogogogoch?
    (Note that I tried to type in Llanfairpwll off by heart, so there’s probably a bit of errors).

  • @SoapCanFan
    @SoapCanFan Рік тому

    are we just not going to talk about how britany somehow gained control of like half of france lmao

  • @EpleGoesInsane
    @EpleGoesInsane Рік тому +1

    HES A SAINT?!

  • @zoolanderbestmovie2
    @zoolanderbestmovie2 Рік тому

    he must travel in future to reclaim his lost legacy from the nerds that we have for "presidents"

  • @akostoth9389
    @akostoth9389 Рік тому

    Jarl Haesteinn: *Exists*
    Koifish (Or literally everyone else who owns and plays CK3): I can milk you
    ...NoHomo by the way 😅

  • @Mr.Monkeyreal7
    @Mr.Monkeyreal7 Рік тому +2

    Hail haesting!

  • @Dr.J.Konopinski
    @Dr.J.Konopinski Рік тому +1

    I subscribed 1 year ago and now I'm writing this from Valhala. it works guys, just click a button

  • @stevebast7966
    @stevebast7966 Рік тому

    Don’t let us wait 2 weeks again

  • @lukasmeier9245
    @lukasmeier9245 Рік тому

    could you maybe try to form slavia with Jarl Haestein.

  • @quein92
    @quein92 Рік тому

    World conquest for sure!

  • @synardude
    @synardude 6 місяців тому

    Yes a prisoner based economy is a good economy, saying this as an American and he’s ing a Swedish man say it is great

  • @zenithstrikerz1720
    @zenithstrikerz1720 Рік тому

    Glory to Hæsteinnia!

  • @adrix_wastaken2196
    @adrix_wastaken2196 Рік тому

    Koifishhhhhh stop WITH YOUR HÆSTINN ADDICTION

  • @Chooch1080
    @Chooch1080 Рік тому +1

    Please reform the Religion to make Witchraft Celebrated (instead of Criminal). Witchcraft grants a permnanent Health Bonus to your Dynasty. As well as offers you TONS of opportunities to take Decisions to grant Bonuses to your Stats. Like you could reliably grant a Bonus plus 2 to any one Stat, every 2 years. Or alternatively. Gain 2 Lifestyle Perks every 2 years!!! You get to Speedrun every skill tree, every Lifetime (Character). Provided you spec the Blood Renown Tree. Sorry. I know you wont read this diatribe. Love the content. Congrats on the baby to your Homestead 🤙🏿😊

    • @Chooch1080
      @Chooch1080 6 місяців тому

      5:00 Here is my biggest critique. The First Accolade should have been to create a "Tactician" and "Beseiger" Accolade instead of the one you made. By finding a Knight with Military Engineer (or Logistician) and Strategist. This Accolade can be made. This Knight. Is in charge of all Sieges. So while we are researching Onagers. We could've already had a Knight selected as Commander of the Onagers we create.
      13:00 Koifish you were too afraid to make all crimes legal and have Communion instead of Ancestor Worship. You could've been taking tithes and lives. You are the Temporal Head of the Faith. It's Holy whoever you say has to die. And with Witchcraft. Kin killing. Is a way to prolong a rulers life. Persevering their kingdom for sometimes 40 years (high king). Your faith can have celebrated murder. Because mechanically the only unPious thing the computer could do. Is successfully kill the player. Which is impossible. If the Player can do Magic.
      32:00 I would argue a better timeline includes: forming the High Kingdom of the North, vassalizing Latium, Constantinople, Paris, and Calgary, becoming the Head Witch of a Coven. And conquer Paris, and kill the Bald. Before the Bald dies of Old Age. All as Haesteings the first. From there. I would love to see what type of Haesteingson will be Heir. Will it be Haestings Haestingson, Haestings Ragnarson, Ragnar Haestingson, or Ragnar Ragnarson? My money is on Ragnar Haestingson the second.

  • @faqquxak3962
    @faqquxak3962 Рік тому

    waiting for next episode

  • @kermit21-2.0
    @kermit21-2.0 Рік тому

    Koifish I know you atleast lurk the sharty

  • @austinschwartz7424
    @austinschwartz7424 Рік тому

    I have to ask how could you take the elevate the kingdom ofann as Bjorn Ironside?