dating advice from a Macbook repairman
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- Опубліковано 3 лип 2022
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You're a very smart and successful man Louis and that's a fact, you're also wise but naive in some aspects. You assume that if a man can do it, another can do it too. Which isn't always the case. As for me I'm someone who's never been in a relationship (although I long that type of connection) and don't have any friends. I can't form any deep and meaningful connection with people due to my awkwardness in social situations , I feel uncomfortable and I just can't get over it, I talk to my coworkers as if i just met them for the first time, all women seem to label me quickly and always keep a safe distance, heck I can't even have a conversation with my neighbors that have been living next to me for the past twelve years, oh and I look pretty average a 7-8 .. lately I've been doing some research and I found out that I might be on the autistic spectrum, ticking all the boxes for asperger(which would explain so many thighs). When it comes to social interactions I'm only comfortable with close relatives. I've been in social situations, I engaged in conversations (with considerable effort) but it never got better, I never got good at it or comfortable doing it (socializing). So it's easier said than done Louis, I know some might think I'm finding excuses but the truth is that there's plenty of ppl out there struggling to move forward, trying their best and not getting it in the end, while others won't even try and have it all. It's a tough world and everyone is trying to make the best of what they've got. That's how I see it.
This is a fallacy that so many of you have whether it comes to work, careers, money, a trade, and even meeting women. You always say the same thing. It's the same theme. That what I am saying is if I can do something, anybody can do something.
That is not what I am saying. What I am saying, is that going to therapy and putting in effort is *better than doing nothing at all.*
Why you all feel the need to straw man this point regardless of the topic is beyond me. This is a license you all give themselves to stay helpless because you're either scared of the journey to try something new, or not willing to put in the work. There are no guarantees in anything you do, and if you use that as an excuse to not put in effort you're wasting your life.
I am scared too. It is normal to be scared. New things scare me every day, but I give it a shot anyway.
If we are talking about business. When I say _"get an internship or an apprenticeship, try learning something new, try a few different things over the course of a few years and see where it lands you because it beats doing nothing"_ The response is almost universally people strawmanning m, saying _"Louis said because he made money doing something that everybody will, isn't that silly?"_
I've literally never said that. But that's what people will say I said.
I strongly believe that the reason people feel the need to straw man this point so much is because it gives them a license to stop trying, because they are afraid of failure, they are scared, or they know they're full of shit and not willing to put in the work to improve to begin with.
I won't give you an easy out man. I don't care. Try again. Try something different. Try a therapist. Try a different therapist. Do something. Anything other than this garbage. No, I'm not going to let it slide.
You might fail at everything. But I'm not going to let you say and do shit that ensures that your probability of failure is 100%.
Everybody is going to fail at things they try to do. Even if your probability is high, I refuse to let you off the hook with a mentality that guarantees that your likelihood of failure is 100%. At least try and do something that lowers your probability of failure to 90%. People will write essays in the comments to justify doing nothing with their life.
In this case, if you were using a dating app, then it's better than not dating at all. Small steps make progress possible.
It's the same thing that J. B. Peterson preaches, be humble and make a small enough commitment that you CAN do. Then, as you get comfortable with that, go a step further.
But it only works if you want to improve at something. If you are content where you are, why bother :)
@@rossmanngroup hey Louis I didn't expect you'd reply and I really appreciate your frank response, you're totally right . The key is to try, not trying ensures a 100% failure rate. I guess I'm guilty of that and I have no excuse to not even try at all.
1% of something is better than 100% of nothing.
@@eye776 A good analogy to that is the usual talk of criticizing the government, to which the answer is: Sure, the government has done nothing to improve our lives but what you have done to improve yours? For better or worse, life is not fair and never will be. People waiting on someone else to make their lives better will die miserable.
Louis’s women rejection impressions are 10/10.
Not sure about _your_ Macbook repairman, but _my_ favorite Macbook repairman is an armchair philosopher.
His rants are often brilliant.
One of his most common lessons is: "You've got to try. Learn from mistakes. If you don't try, then you don't learn."
Love it.
My basics for hooman social interaction:
1) No BS or lies, even if it’s just small talk
2) No emotional pretending
3) Be polite, act like you would want others to treat you (ignore 3 if you are a masochist)
I wanted to type " you sound pretty german for an american"... then i saw your username 😂
habedere oida!
4) Relax and have fun with it
Pay now or pay later. Anything worthwhile is difficult in the beginning and may be easier as time goes on. Realities that most refuse to acknowledge. Strong work, LRnn.
An amusing paradox. People tend to avoid discomfort and pain. Yet those two factors are most often the very stimulus necessary for strength and progression. If you are unwilling to endure discomfort and pain you are only slowing your own potential.
Thank you friend. As someone struggling with anxiety, I needed to see this.
Thanks Louis, you've got no idea how timely this video was for me. I HAVE been paying for it everyday of my life up until now. I'm done racking up interest. You've perfectly put to words the vague thoughts and feelings that've been swirling around in my mind for the past week. I don't want to live in fear anxiety and dread anymore. Time to take the first step forward.
Good for you my man. Remember, women like confidence and a I don't give a fuck attitude. To develop both of those it takes many rejects. By getting rejected and handling it the right way you are building both of those up which will reduce your chances of getting rejected in the future.
Reading this made me smile. Thank you.
Zachary: Our culture practically demonizes "failure". If you "fail", you should be ashamed. You should cringe. You should feel agony. You should do anything at all to avoid "failure", it's so awful.
Here's a crazy idea: Failure is *admirable* rather than shameful. You figuratively fell on your butt trying to do something you're not used to? *Good* for you. You fell on your butt over and over? Better for you. You're doing the same thing you did as a baby learning to walk, you're pushing your limits until you overcome them.
If someone never fails, it's not because they're someone awesome who everyone should admire. It's because they never push their limits. They only do what they're already good at because that feels safe and secure and avoids the dreaded "failure". But if you ask me, stagnation is just a slower form of death. And in any event, it's not "living"... it's "existing" until you die.
Take the first step forward. Fail spectacularly. Make others laugh, let them feel superior to you who dared to fail. Be too "dumb" to know how scary failure is and how it should keep you from pushing your limits. And get far more out of life, leaving behind those who were too scared to try.
That's some solid advice, Louis. I've got a lot of bills to pay myself still, but it gets better.
Came for the board repairs, stayed for your life advice and right to repair content.
Pretty much what I figured. All things suck at first but it can take some getting used to. I’ll admit, I’m one of those people who struggle to say hi sometimes. But over the years of getting over my comfort zone I’ve gotten more comfortable with it. I’m stil timid, but just doing things and getting used to them, even just talking with people or saying hi gets easier. Applicable to any social interaction
If someone rejects you meanly, and laughs at you, they were never worth knowing! Keep your spirits up 👆!
There was one time (out of many), that I saw this beautiful lady, u felt the serious urge to approach her but did not cause I was so shy, we kept smiling at each other, there was basically no one in the bus but I was so shy and scared of rejection that I avoided starting a conversation.
It hunted me for close to a year, I seriously regretted not going forward.
Don't delay, pay today!
You might also get rejected a lot. Just don't unalive yourself over it, because enough rejections can get you to that point.
i think the reality of today is that people get so much rejection it can grind them down bc humans are not physiologically adapted to mas ssocietys like modern society.
@@patriciusvunkempen102 I agree. I think we should go back to small tribes of about 100-150 people. Most of the people running America are unelected officials.
I do not understand my feelings towards this channel. I came for Right to Repair/Macbooks related content. But I just can stop listening Louis talking about NY, dating, general facts of life, etc. It is just fun!!!
Thank you!
I came for the advice, then got into RtR. One day I found him talking ... and it was surprisingly pleasant and informative, and I've been watching him for years now
As someone who took Louis‘ dating advice and is now in a happy relationship (sadly long distance), I can tell you that he is absolutely correct.
By far this is one of my favorite video on this channel. Learned a lot. Thanks you Lois. Pls bring the board repair videos back. I live for it.
Another thing that supplements this is you need to know when not care about people's opinions. Even if you think you care the more you understand and know the people you're interested in, the more likely you are to think "you're a moron, and i put way too much stock in what you thought of me". Not all of the time but more than half of the time
I wonder if you’ll talk about how one of the things relationships need is consistent effort for them.
He;s still on the date. He'll report back in the morning.
Great discussion. I feel so badly for guys having to make the first move (traditionally.) I know many enjoy the convenience of dating apps, but the best relationships I've ever had stemmed from the old fashioned 'boy meets girl' (or whatever your case is) from across the room. My new ice cube tray or towel set I'll order online but when shopping for love I prefer the in person experience of looking behind the glass where the valuables are kept. Body language, his voice etc... all those things are best experienced in person from the beginning (for me.)
True!
I've seen some women who are least polite about it
Louis, like you I'm in my 30's, successful and strong willed. I also get pleasure out of investing in people. I get the impression (just so, I'm far from an expert, I'm an Engineer) that a lot of these social 'issues' we're seeing in people is (in part) the result of delayed adulthood in a large portion of the population. I moved out at 16 and so was FORCED to cater to rejection again and again and again but it's EASY at that age, you just try again. It's like water off a ducks back today. I think a lot of these young adults delay grown up decisions and decision making so long that it becomes a MASSIVE deal to overcome or get started. Granted the state of affairs and behaviour enabling technology doesn't help, but no one said life is easy. You get what you give.
As usual, thanks for the reminder and your thoughts. Keep them coming please. Cheers
I have this issue but only with regards to social situations or someone who shows interest in me. Thanks for being so blunt about it Louis, it's what some of us need to hear
Solid advice Louis, I got over my social awkwardness when I started working in customer service in college. What also helps is working out as it builds confidence. Im still awkward lol, just more of a goofy awkward.
I needed to see this video today, not necessarily for dating, but i want to make a game, am currently sucking at making said game, and hearing you say "you are gonna have to suck before you get better" was a good reminder and got me in a better mindset. Thank you.
Hi Louis! I saw this video a few months ago, thought to contest it and decided not to. I came back to bring one point up. It depends who the other person is and what they're like.
This video nearly convinced me to confess to my previous crush, of whom I'm pretty close friends with. Even though I didn't in the end, there was a lot of potential for things to go wrong, including potentially screwing up a friendship by accident, making things awkward or whatever, and my point of view was they I'd rather remain close friends with her and keep such things to myself than tell her and screw things up entirely. I remember overhearing a conversation where she said about someone else "and then he told me he liked me and then I took an even bigger step back", which was one of the contributing factors holding me back from telling her. Any message that implied any kind of intimacy I guess (ie I miss you etc) she would ignore which would also push me away slightly to think that telling her like you suggested in the video might screw things up. Nonetheless, my current crush (who I basically see as a best friend) knew as soon as I realised I liked her and I had the guts to tell her simply because of the relationship we had, one that had already had romantic/intimate vibes to it and someone who is just outright amazing. As a result I feel that your advice here is pretty subjective and depends on the kind of relationship you prerequisitely have with that person.
Harsh truth with added bonus of great advice. Thank you! I was lucky in my social life though, but luck does not last forever.
My friends sometimes ask me how I don't blush or stall when talkin to girls. And i can never explain to them in any more detail than "it's easy, just talk".
This video made me understand how it's actually supposed to be done. I went through many rejections and without realising it I got better at talking and making conversation. It didn't occur to me that this was why.
I once sat down at a table with (objectively) the prettiest girls in our year at 6 form during a free period and started to have a chat about something random that happened to cross my mind. I didn't even think about chatting one of them up, I was genuinely interested in talking with them because I overheard them talking about something similar in a really funny manner. I say hi and how's it's going and we start talking and after a minute one of them says "did someone dare you to come here?".
At that moment it hit me. They were a group of (not necessarily friends) girls who by coincidence we're sharing a conversation and just happened to have one thing in common - they were so attractive that nobody from the boys really talked to them besides friends they've had since the lower years, and any interaction outside from that list was them being hit on. So when I sat down to talk they couldn't really understand what it was I wanted from them, and the easiest conclusion to jump to seeing as I wasn't trying to make any attempt at charting them up was that somebody dared me to talk to them.
People really suck at talking to each other. If I wasn't so shy for the first couple of years of my life I wouldn't have missed out on a really hot girl that I LIKED who HAD A CRUSH ON ME. But she was too shy to tell me and I was too socially awkward to do anything about it. Finding out later that she crushed on me was a devestating blow. And I was DORKY looking.
The opportunities that a lot of single average looking guys have to get with girls who they think are put of their league is much more than they think. I know a lot of dudes who are really funny, and if they cold hit on a girl and started socialising with them like they do with me (minus the lack of acquaintance) they would have a girlfriend sooner than they expect. And to think it's someone who they initially thought was out of reach will shake their world apart.
Get rejected, try again. Get better
I love reading your comment, Michael. Very genuine.
You call this horrible advice but this was the route I took to where im at right now. It's hard to take rejection but that's how you build resistance against it.
I'm 28 and have never been on a date. I definitely think there's something wrong with me. I don't even have to worry about being rejected because no one has ever asked me out. 😔 which is its own form of rejection I guess...
well ask somebody out. I stumbled upon the love of my life randomly never even met her before.
I'm 40 and i didn't even had a chance to meet or get to know a woman. not even sisters or cousins so i can meet their girl friends and such. I've had some good friends that I used to party with every weekend but there was never any girls or women around 😂
Comment for the algorithm. I don’t specialize in board repair, but I am a troubleshooter and technician for industrial electronics. I appreciate all your educational videos between soldering MacBooks and dating advice. You always speak the truth
I think part of the problem comes when your feeling so low that you can't really endure the rejection because you have nothing left to build you up or to fall back on, so you can keep moving. So the rejection crushes you even further down. So getting to the point your doing well, helps you remain strong for when they say they don't want you so you have enough mental strength to not dwell on why they rejected you, but to think about, assess and try to fix what you may have done wrong and move on. (I tend to overthink on things/problems my self so it takes some extra energy to say to my self stop thinking about it, learn your lesson and move on.)
yes. that's why i oppose that advide. the real advie is, get confident in yourself first, have something of value you can fall back to. be someone. find friends. then love.
being rejected by a women, is only half as bad if you spent the next evening with your boys letting off steam, and those friends should be people that value you, and you should value them.
Spot on again, Louis. For me, the easiest route was to find common hobbies with my mostly-reclusive friends which make it worth hanging out. (In our case, that was LAN gaming parties.) Expanded that into meeting people I know at the movies, at restaurants, at the bar, etc. It wasn't smooth or timely, but at least I was able to distribute the rejection you speak of among successes. I'm still _in no way_ the life of the party, but these days I might actually show up to the party. Improvement, right?
This channel really is on brand. Louis out here repairing my love life lmao.
Word of advice; confidence is key. The more time you spend ummin and ahhing about weather or not to go for it, the more likely you are to miss the chance or fudge the execution. When you see a good chance, take it and put your 100% into it. If even then it doesn't succeed, take solace in the fact you gave it your all and there was literally nothing you could do to change the outcome. And again, all this is built on practice and failure; the point is to embrace it!
The problem with rejection is that the people being rejected give it too much weight and value. If you're being flat out rejected by someone and they act anything like Louis demonstrated it's a direct reflection of themselves. They're publicly advertising, "I'm a condescending prick, you don't actually want to date me."
The best way to get over rejection is to get rejected a hundred times.
yeahh thats not how rejection worked for me. the thing is, if you only ever seem to get rejected, what's the incentive to even try? literally every other time was a failure, so there's no success to base the hope off of. just different levels of pain that make me not want to think about trying.
If every motherboard I solder on dies, I might ask somebody who knows how to fix motherboards if they think I'm doing anything wrong.
I could do that, or, I could say I'm going to close my store and go back to working at modell's sporting goods for $6/hr.
The pain of working retail for $6 an hour, If I lack the courage and discipline to ask a stranger who knows more than me _"hey, wtf am I doing wrong,"_ provides me with the motivation to humble myself, and ask for some help. The same applies to this situation.
Many therapists suck, but many of them are useful. My advice there would be find somebody who can actually provide useful counsel. If they're not able to assist you, keep it moving until you find somebody else. It's your life, you only get one, and it's too short to spend doing the wrong thing over and over again.
I started trying to fix macbook boards in 2009... I fixed my first one successfully around 2013. By 2015 I had people literally begging to pay me $2000 for a few days of my time to do an in person course on it, in 2016 I was frontpaging reddit for doing it, in 2018 I was showing up on national news for it. Imagine if in 2012 I thought _"I've been failing at this for three years with zero successes. Other people figure it out within two weeks. What a stupid failure I am, I don't deserve success, F this, I am done."_
That would've been *RATIONAL!*
When you fail at something for three years - that other people _pick up within a month_ ,it is RATIONAL to want to say _"f this. I quit."_ It's more rational to pull someone into your corner, and ask for help.
I can tell you, I have been close to that before. There are people that picked up what I do on this channel up in less than a month... I failed for *four years straight!* I'd give up, beat myself up while giving up, not try again, give it a half assed try later, use that as justification for why I was right about the fact that I sucked so I have an even bigger reason to not try again later.
It's up to you, you can decide if you want to break the cycle. As I said, you get one life... you can pay now, or every day until you're dead. When I have kids, I am telling them early on; pay upfront. Imagine how far I'd be right now - imagine how much better off my business would be, if I were willing to pay the cost upfront.
As long as you're still alive, it is never too late. Best of luck.
Don't give up. I've heard of people who gave up because the hub was easier with no chance of rejection. Don't be like that, especially.
I was married to a man who treated me like garbage for 15 years. He negged me, tore down my self esteem and rejected me for 15 YEARS! It sucked, it hurt, and I almost committed un-alive because of it. When I finally got enough self esteem to get out of that marriage I had to relearn how to interact with people. And to this day, almost 20 years later, rejection is hard. Rejection takes me into a really dark place because I had to learn to cope with an abusive relationship that used rejection to "keep me in my place." But you know what I did? I went out there and I tried because I didn't want to be alone for the rest of my life. And as much as the rejection hurt it was still better then living alone forever. My suggestion is always to find a group that does something you love, sailing, gaming, DND, or whatever. Do that with a bunch of other people, and if you can just make friends and improve yourself eventually the relationship will be possible. That's how I met my last boyfriend who stuck around for 10 years before leaving. That's how I met my current boyfriend. But first I had to get back out there and open myself up to the possibility.
@@rossmanngroup ...you say that as if working at Modell's Sporting Goods is a bad thing...?
@@CrissyMoss sounds like a you problem. You think all your exes out here blabbering on about what happened to them? Move on with your mediocre life and be happy. Stop nagging and being the victim. Happy 4th!
Love your videos Mr Rossmann, greetings from Juarez, Mexico.
Thank you for your wisdom louis. I'm learning about this with my youtube channel and business. You walked so we could run. Thanks man.
Straight from the 5 hr livestream yesterday!
A wise person I knew used to tell me you always pay for everything. You either pay attention or you pay with pain. Sometimes you can pay with pain upfront to save you years of pain later.
Great advice. I don't know if therapy helps to break that barrier, but what helped me when I was a teenager was to start small. I remember I practised "meeting people" by asking stupid things on the street like a street name I was looking for, or asking the time. Small steps. From there you can go to a bar and start making small talk with people you don't know, specially bars where people might expect that kind of approach.
This advice is something that I'll consider personally. I'm currently on therapist and helped me a lot to define what I want for my life. I will not take out a comma of the argument of yours. If we don't take our life by the horns we will suffer in the future. Every time that my therapist reminds me of my age I have this uncanny feeling that my life is slipping through and I didn't enjoyed it to the fullest. As you said, if you don't pay the cost now, you'll pay it daily, and getting more costly per day that passes by.
One thing that tingled me when you talked about the bar conversation... The major problem of people with lower self esteem is how hard is to break the ice psychologically, as there is the thought of being an inconvenience to the other person. I still have this issue and I still need to overcome this fear. But once the ice is broken the talk can occur freely.
Last weekend I went to a local pub. It was well populated but I wasn't interacting with no one. Then there was this group of 8 girls that came by and sitter next to me. I was on my own, mind on my business. I really wanted some company that night to talk but I hadn't the will to start the conversation. Eventually they left and I kept drinking my cider... Oh well can't be helped.
But after listening to your advice, that made me reflect what happened... I should allow to open myself to others. If I think I can add value to the context I should intervene and interact.
Thank you for your advice. It really meant something.
You'll do it next time!
Excellent advise, Louis! 👏
Maybe someone can give me advice here. I generally meet people when I'm shopping or eating out because I work all the time and dating apps are laughable as far as matches go. There have been a couple cute girls I've come across, but they are working and I don't want to basically force them to interact with me because they can't leave their work. I would feel like shit for hitting on someone who has no choice but to grit their teeth until I leave. I don't want to come off as sleezy, but just be like, "hey, you're pretty and I wanted to take you out somewhere" but not in a creepy way.
I live in Thailand now, so nice to have healthy dating scene here. Easy to meet, and dating is totally stress free and fun
Right on point Mr Rossmann! Gotta face your fears and overcome them, they don't go away, they linger if you avoid them. Its like driving around with your handbrake on, haha.
I really wonder if only the people who are already over the hump can relate or if it resonates with the young folks cause that was a very honest and good explaination of the problem and the solution.
I hope there will be advice on how to perform in the bedroom as well.
Treat lube like Louis does flux...you can never use too much ;)
Saw the new neighbor yesterday, said hi and presented my self. It is the start of good neighboring.
I'd get in line to reject Louis.
I think a good (and honest) friend is better than a therapist.
THANK YOU FOR SAYING IT. I hate it when I tell my friends how EASY it is to not even pick up, but to make conversations at a convention and they tell me "It's easy for you" after I TELL THEM THE EXACT INS AND OUTS on how to engage with someone and why tt shouldn't scare them.
great advice Louis, thank you.
Excellent insight into this subject.
This is so true. At some point of my youth I was tired of not being able to talk to girls (I was afraid of social interactions with them due to fear of rejection). So one day I tried and of course I got blown off as creepy cause I didn’t know what to say. I kept trying. I kept trying and getting socially rejected. Idk when but at some point it became natural to talk to men or women. That doesn’t mean I’ll get the girl but Atleast i made it past the first step.
Thats personal development 💪🏽
To many people spend most of their time on Phones and Computers and they have lost the Confidence and the social skills needed to approach a potential Date to start a conversation. So whether you ask someone out online or in person people will feel the rejection and the emotional feelings the go along with it.
Real good advice - simple and affective
You are less likely to be rejected in person than online. If you use a dating site that you send a message to the other person rather than swiping you get rejected pretty much every time you send a message as often there is no reply. In person they will at least need to reply in some fashion. Also, in person they might not have 30 other people standing right there trying to get their attention too. Online is WAY easier, but will greatly increase the average dude's odds of being rejected.
Thanks for this video, was an eye-opener (and I mean that non-sarcastically).
Thanks Louis for your wisdom :)
I couldn't agree more... our comfort zones and safe spaces may make us feel good in the present, but the guarantee that we never grow or expand beyond them. They're a safety blanket that slowly smothers us and we never even realize it. All of the best things in life come when we take risks and move outside those comfort zones.
Happy 4th of July Louis! 🥳
Happy Independence Day!
this is actually good advice. Too many people CAN'T handle rejection and it creates more problems.
Reminds me of the film quote: “Why do we get knocked down? So we can learn to get back up again”
Good advice! Two options I like to add: I visited a Dale Carnegie communication course many years ago. It helped a lot with communication. You learn in a few weeks what some people never learn. And about the girls: I only approached the (what I considered at at time) top girls. Obviously I hoped for the best, but if they rejected me it didn't really hurt so much because they were anyhow out of my league and I didn't really expect that they say yes.
Biggest thing for me for everything is moving past the social pressure/embarrassment. If it was the last day on earth and it was just you and one other person, who cares what you say other than you and them? Add in 8 billion people and what does that actually end up changing? Most embarrassing situations end up either as a faint memory or nothing at all in time, and there's functionally infinite opportunities out there to learn and grow.
Can't fault this dude..straight up, always like these contents
dating is kind of like Ranked matchmaking for human interaction, you have to do a few placement matches to find out where you stand.
Well that was just smart! Nothing ventured nothing gained! Meeting people, lots of people is what leads to decent dating! Go for it!
totally agree. despite of i am long out of dating market (successfully married ;)) i always will encourage attitude of actually failing.
Failing happens only in one's brain, when you realize actually learned how NOT to make certain thing (regardless if it's dating or motherboard microsoldering) you actually won this battle.
But this mindset requires seeing something more that tip of one's nose.
Eventually after you swiped right like a million times and you don't get any matches you're definitely getting to experience rejection...
Personally I would rather get rejected by an individual in person than in mass quantities online.
Hard agree. First time I walked up to someone I planned it so much and after more than 5 times of bitching out finally went for it. One of the most cringe interactions I've ever had, but after that it never got harder. Obviously it didn't work out (I bet she could hear the raw nervousness) but after reflecting on that, learning that I actually could do it and it really couldn't have been much worse, it got a lot better. Now I don't care anymore, it's almost easy.
And, think about it... would you rather live with the thought that something good could've happened for the rest of your life or would you rather know? Either your life gets better or it stays the same as it already is but you now have a concrete answer to a question that was on your mind.... Maybe easier said than done but this is a good way to think!
For you folks that are struggling with it, almost nobody will be good at it first try, but you'd be surprised how quickly your confidence builds and your ability to be confident and talk to people is improved. Best wishes, get out of your comfort zone and make it your comfort zone :)
I mean if a repair man is like the postman then... Well my mum got with the postman sooo
Bro
Maybe Louis needs to make repair house-calls 🤔
@Cyber Cat No more half-stuck in the dryer... no more food delivery... now, “ I hear your mother(s)board and needs RAM...”
The repairman knocks twice...
"Want to go out with me?"
"Absolutely not, creep. Get lost!"
"Okay, no problem. I have to take a dump anyhow."
I ended up developing attributes others didn't have. In 1976 a minority were bodybuilding, and almost none in my subculture. The activity and progress made me feel better and look better. Eventually people would come up and ask me details -- placing the approach on them. Those interactions eventually helped me build my own approaches. Today you'll have more challenge distinguishing yourself, but getting started may be worthwhile. You don't have to do what I did. Swimming, archery, gymnastics, kayak, almost anything will bring similar results. Even if you remain alone, you'll have accomplished a lot.
liftin bro, also how much pounds do you pull in archery? more of a blackpouder guy but i can certainly appreaciate the ol' bow, i am a blacksmist on the side. and that gives me a lotta selfvalue, and well defined forearms,
So true. I would add that even for the people who do read a book and pick something up and seem to be able to do anything they try to do... You might be that person you wouldn't even know it if you don't choose to 'pay the price now' and try when there's a real risk of failing. You could waste 10 years thinking you're an introvert and then just find out you wasted 10 years and you could have been succeeding all this time.
Excellent, Master!
:) WELL SAID and have a GREAT 4th! ALL THE BEST and Cheers !:)
I'm at that point in my life where I know well enough what the good advice is, while simultaneously knowing that it's too late for any of it to matter anymore.
Probably embarrassing for me, but I had never been on a date until I was 19. Why? Because I was scared! I was scared of being rejected, I was scared of showing my my feelings, and I was scared of being really bad at sex, not knowing what I was doing, embarrassing myself etc. It wasn't until I opened my eyes and realised that it really doesn't matter what happens, life goes on and people forget what happened yesterday. We need interaction and bad experiences in order to keep growing as human beings. This is great advice Louis, I 100% agree with you here
yep... you nailed it.
People will do more avoid pain, then to gain pleasure. Breaking that cycle help you advance in life.
One of the things people do wrong in approaching and asking people out is to wait till they find someone they get stunned and flustered about as their first try. This is the same as finding out about mountain climbing on Monday and planning a trip to Mount Everest the next weekend - it really limits your chances of surviving the trip or not crashing and burning your date with your awkwardness. My regret is that I didn't ask more average people out in my informative years for kind of safe dates, "practice dates" in a sense, and worked on a mindset that it has to be perfect and lead to something.
If you go out to meet people and spend time to find out what kinda of person they are instead of trying to score a home-run by getting some or finding love every time and at worst its a bad date with someone you weren't meant to be with. You learn where you made a mistakes in dating or speaking out of turn, learn more about what kind of person you might want to date if this is not what you are looking for, learn some warning sings about a person that might not be as apparent in first greet, whats a good place to take people on a date, new things about the world from talking etc.
As an added bonus if it's just ok, you might get an good acquaintance or a even a friend out of it that might get you somewhere you want in the future be it in business or dating. Some say it's possible to even actually find someone you didn't even know you were looking, who knows.
That is to say, you must be a disingenuous asshole for a while before you can be competent.
Hooray
You can learn something from job interview rejections, but plugging away in the modern dating arena is for masochists unless you're dying to play stepdad.
Most relationships come from dating sites or mutual friends and not being the bar creep.
Very good advice!
dang.... back to back AMA
I always think of the best response after they walk away😔
That is great advice👍
Thanks for advice. Your video about being investable was also useful. I think you should create entire channel dedicated to life advice.
How true! I suck at my youtube channel but it’s a learning process that I’m trying to learn. 9 subscribers in and no comments but I’m fine with it. I’ll learn and grow 😊
nice said!
"Anything worth doing is worth doing badly". I agree with you. I am diagnosed with social anxiety, yet I've asked some women on dates. One thing I've done twice is asked a woman on a date with the expectation that I would be "rejected". One was a new trainer at the gym I went to. I barely knew her, I was sweaty, fat, dressed in unflattering workout clothes. Asked if I could take her to lunch. She said maybe another time. Asked again a week or so later, turns out she has a girlfriend. Most of the reason to ask was to practice overcoming that fear of asking, that fear of rejection.
Ave said to enjoy the sucking phase of learning a new skill. Also applies to dating and socializing.
man, the part of compound interest hurt the most
Another great video
Nailed it. I used to work for others photographers for years back in the film days till I felt comfortable shooting events on my own. I got all the bugs out all learned on other people's dime before I started on my own. I was ridicule and critique harshly until I got better. It toughens you up. Same with asking people out just grab your balls and say f*** it.
Yes, that's the right advice. 👍
btw not trying to overly generalise, but all therapists i met were bonkers, asking me to shif tblame onto others, suggested i ask people to compensate for my shortcomings, and maybe it sabotaged the relatonship i had at the time so bad that it failed.
i wasn't there for selfvalue problems or such but bc of a neuraldivergent condition. but hell i felt pretty normal in those days, but especialy one guy asked me to behave in weird ways for no reason.
in the end i am reaffirmed in my view that i can also prop up with a bit of science, that selfvalue and such comes form within.
i used to have terrible view of myself as a teenager. well likely most people have.
But knowing who i am and what i can do, and others ain't me and can't do the same is what realy keeps me going. and i recommend this thinking to anyone with selfvalue problems especialy man, be someone, be able to do something. be the guy your frineds ask for help when it comes to a certain topic or area of expertease, you do not have to be the ebs ton the planet and you won't be, but be the best for the peopel around you.
that chair. my dream😍
Damn you are on fire lately with life lessons for our youth.
OMG this.
The best "mentor" I ever had that broke me out of my shell was a girl I was sort of crushing on.
All of my friends helped (or held me back) in some way but she pushed and dangled just enough of a carrot before slamming me back into the friend-zone. It was the best, worst, most effective learning experience ever.
Still not sure if that was her intention, but I was a different and better person for the experience.
The experience made you stronger, maybe even more confident. Thats the beauty of having a social life, there is going to be many emotions, but the more your at it, the stronger and more confident you get.