Not gonna lie, this made me cry. As an artist myself I also often get sucked into this mindset of art being useless, but it still is a part of me - literally. This video made me realise how much art is important to me, so thank you
It's not usseless. Art can make people connect and feel, it might be stupid, but I realized how important art is and why we humans feel a constant need to create even if the odds are against it when I heard a song that resonated with me and cured a part of me, it made me feel so better and understood... a simple song. Art is important
I'm a university student, trying to get out to make manga. You have no idea how many times they ask me this. I'm scared they might not let me. Never fall in love with art, ever. It like a curse and yet a blessing. I almost cried
@@omegateklu856 i actually got into college, i was one of the 10% who did well enough in the test so i got a place. That place is on chemical engineering, and i was so happy, but then i realized that even tough i could become a chemical engineer and get a job, it's simply not my passion. I've always liked drawing, comics, manga, anime, all of that stuff is something very important to me and to who i am, but i chose a career as a chemical engineer because i tought "there's no way I'm gonna find a job as an artist, there's so much competition and so few spots open". But now I'm gonna quit chemical engineering to get into design and visual communication, and that's something i really want to do, i feel determined and feel is my path. Whatever happens, wether or not i get a job in the future, wether or not i make a living, I don't care. I care more about my happiness than money, even if don't have money to live I don't care, I'll kurt cobain myself, but i know i was happy because my pursuit was my passion, not comfort.
Bro, the part where you said "I can't enjoy any piece of media any more without analyzing it and dissecting and letting it affect how I make art" hit SO HARD. Making art is so painfully consuming and isolating sometimes but lately I've felt so much connection and comfort from other artists expressing the same feelings. Imposter syndrome, loneliness, being hard on ourselves. Like I said, it's consuming. Thanks for sharing this video. I need to go re-read look back.
Yeah, it's easier to appreciate an artist when you don't see them as a rival. But it can also improve your viewing experience, you notice a lot more about a piece of work than a person who doesn't do art. I love watching anime and cartoons because every single one has such unique animation and ways of telling the story which is not really that present in traditional movies, while my parents just see them all as cartoons and laugh at me for watching them.
As a Japanese, when I read this manga , I was as moved as I was by this video, but at the same time I was reminded of the Kyoto Animation arson case. The criminal also committed the crime with the absurd motive that his work was stolen. I imagine that the artist also continued to ask the question, "Why do I still draw?
This is why finding friends interested in art as an artist is so, so very important. Its far too easy to become a hermit crab and just slave away for some ephemeral goal that may never come but if you have help, or even just someone tlin your corner to encourage you it changes so much.
@@wagahagwa6978 I don't know if I'm around your age or not but I do also like art and we are talking here so there is that too. Potential art friends can be easier to find than people think. Good long term ones though like irl ones are tricky however.
@@noahmcalister I've been in similar place and I know I'm not alone in that regard. It's true that you: a. have to be dedicated to the art that you're making, b. have to work hard to improve your craft (which means sacrificing time and energy spent elsewhere), and c. have to ignore the trolls and "well-meaning" friends and family. When they talk about "suffering for your art," those are just the opening salvos.
Your videos stopped me from committing suicide. Or more so after I attempted I sat down and found your videos, I loved them. Every day I would check for a new video, I loved when you talked about art and u would look forward to these, I still do. I cannot understand people criticizing you, to me you are amazing, another level. This might sound parasocial but I love you.
Suicidal Depression isn't an easy thing, sorry to hear that. It helped me to take things hour by hour... I got told all the time to "do it day by day", but days are far too long and nebulous for me when I'm feeling particularly terrible. If I take it hour by hour, the goal is much smaller and far more manageable.
Hey there, I hope you're doing okay. I'm really happy my videos have helped you. It's one of those things where it's just wild for me to hear that, just because I can remember whatever I was experiencing when I made almost every video, so it's crazy for me to hear others' reactions, especially when the videos have helped. Life is hard, but I've found strength in making vids and I'm glad they've seemed to help others. It means a lot and I feel like I can't properly express my feelings in words, so I'll say this. I hope you're doing okay, friend I wish you absolutely nothing but the best
As a strangers on the internet. I wish everything will be alright for you and life is a precious thing. I don't think Suicide is worth taking it away. ;) take care man
There's an obsession with art that can make you resent people/creators you once looked up to. You start to wonder "how did they get so good? Are they cheating? What do they know that I don't? Am I really that bad of an artist?" I have thoughts like these constantly, and it's hard to change that mentality because on one hand, it is simpler to just think you're terrible. That there's this thing you lack that someone else has, that it's easier to just raise up your hands and go "well, that's just the way it is," and stop trying. But for me, the desire to create, even if it's nothing special, is so strong, I can't stop. Even if I hate it, even if I hate myself, there's something that keeps me going. That something isn't for anyone else, it might just be my own desire to be better. But reading this story, it made me realize how much I wish I had someone like Kyomoto in my life. I'm lucky enough to have people who support what I do, but none of them are artists. None of them really understand what it's like. I want to have someone the same as me, who understands everything. Who can relate to the pain and joy. And while I may never meet that person in real life, it's comforting to know they are at least out there. I think this one shot is one of the most accurate portrayals of what it's like to be someone who draws. I can absolutely relate to Fujino, having an ego when I was younger, realizing I wasn't that good, grinding and failing to be better, wondering why I even bother to keep going. It's not glamorous, it's ugly and even kind of pathetic at times. But, I want to keep going. I don't want to stop. Ever.
A few months ago I tried to kill myself because of a hobby. That hobby being drawing. I wanted to be known in the art community, I wanted to inspire people, I wanted to be someone’s favorite artist. My art isn’t good at all, at least to me. I know I can do better. But whenever I draw, the thoughts of “there’s better artists out there” “you suck at drawing” stay in my head, I can’t finish my drawings because of that. But if I don’t draw I can’t get better. I want to be the best or I won’t be satisfied with myself. I wish I could stop making a hobby into a petty competition. I stopped drawing recently, it’s become absolutely unenjoyable for me and it’s unhealthy to continue. I hope I can find my passion again in the future.
Im so sorry to hear that, its definitely more than just art block but i have a recommendation. If youre drawing and your art looks bad, take a break from it. Maybe 30 mins to an hour. Once you come back to it, it should look better. Your eyes start to spot flaws or even make up flaws if it stares at something for too long. ^^
Hey there, sorry to hear about your struggles. I've struggled with that feeling of wanting to be the best, especially with writing and storytelling. One thing that helped break this attitude was that I realized there wasn't a number 1 best. Like, there's a tier of artists and writers and creators I like, and I have a favorite band, but if you asked me who the best writer is, I couldn't give you a confident answer. There are a lot of greats and what makes them great is their own style. Of course there's garbage masquerading as greatness, but I can't say who the number 1 writer is, bc it's dependent upon your taste. All that to say, I dont think that there's a no. 1 perfect creator and there's room for many great creators, and there's room for those aspiring ones, including you or me. I feel weird suggesting my own videos, I always feel weird, but I can't sum up my thoughts in a comment the way that I did in a video. So, feeling weirdness aside, can I recommend the video I did back in November, I think, where I was dressed like a vampire. It was called something like You Can Only Make Imperfect Things or Nothing. Essentially, nothing you make will be perfect, which is a difficult pill to swallow, but it's freeing when you realize and accept it Life's hard, and I'm sorry for your struggles. I wish you the best, friend
Its really tough making art because its inherently so personal - and a lot of the progress we make is often tied to coaching and learning to be patient with ourselves. If youre in a bad spot its really important to just sort out your personal stuff first. A lot of art related pains I see (especially younger) people complain about are often not art related at all but way more personal struggles they have to overcome somehow. Your art cant blossom until you take care of yourself first!
one art teacher i trusted in art school called my work low quality compared to the rest of the class. Still haunts me to this day and gives me impostor syndrome to destructive lvls but in same time i don't want to give up because of that. i still feel like i need to continue to win my "no, you're wrong" against the demon of my insecurities.
I have a similar evil villain backstory lol. Yeah, I think that's the best you can do, push on and succeed despite what someone else may have said. Though hopefully, along the way, we're able to find positive, less vindictive reasons for continuing lol
@@noahmcalister I don't want vindictive reasons to keep continuing. i want to prove that 1diot who planted the seed of doubt that he was wrong. each time i wanted to show him what i could he would shut me down without even hearing what i had to say because maybe there would have been something good that he could have helped me with. Before that uppity individual i had a different and positive approach to art and i want to regain it without being haunted by the words of some snob praised around because he had opportunities.
It’s upsetting how often you hear a story of somebody in school being told that there art is bad, especially because it’s an institute of learning. a teacher has so much sway and it’s upsetting that they abuse it to put students down.
Human connection really does drive inspiration and work, for those days that you'll laugh, Talk, and smile with them ... this video essay was amazing, I think I'll get back to driving myself towards a future like that
I find that art is one of those things that you can’t just walk away from- not as an artist at least. There is always a new idea for a piece in your head or, hey that shadow looks like a cat, or that color is beautiful, what is it?, or something drifting through your mind day in and day out about art. I think it’s why artists are often attributed with the ‘gifted’ quality - everything we see is art.
oh i love this. it really hits hard that art is extremely difficult and unglamourous and "useless" when we'd be nowhere without art, you said it super well ^_^
This video essay nearly brought me to tears. My biological dad is an artist and a damn good one at that. He abandoned my mom while she was pregnant with me and we ceased all contact with him. He was probably not a good person but he was an artist, and I am too. I sometimes find myself stalking his Facebook to peek at his artworks. If I could choose I wouldn't even want to be associated with art in any way because of him. I don't like art, it's hard and boring and tedious but I still come back to it. I'm not even that good at it because I delay my progress using excuses. I get so embarrassed whenever my mom sees me drawing, trying to be half of what the person that betrayed her was - a really good artist. And then there's the business where I pretend to hate it when people compliment my work because that means I'm starting to become the person that I dislike the most. But secretly I appreciate it when people appreciate my work. When they say "oh wow that's really good" I get so happy and proud of what I made. Maybe I would've enjoyed art more had that artist not been my father.
sorry to comment i don’t wanna appear nosy but i think it’s great you seem to have an interest in art, i understand regarding your father you find it difficult to do art ^^ but your father doesn’t define you or your art and i know it may be more obvious said than to believe and im sure your mom understands that too ^^ you don’t have to feel guilty, ^^ also sorry if im saying stuff you already know but good luck with your art journey 🙏🍀
I've stopped making art for the past year because life got in the way, so what you said about how it's much harder to stop and start than continually taking steps (whether or not there's tangible progress) really resonated with me. Maybe it's time for me to finally get back into drawing...your video made me realize how much I've missed just that process of creation
Yeah, I mean, my question when deciding what to do is always, what better thing could I be doing? Bc for me, if I don't make something, I'll just waste time online. So while creation is hard, the alternative is nothing good. So idk if that'll help you, but that's my mindset Hoping you can get into the groove of creating once more, if that's your desire. Wishing you the best
Being an artist is hard because you can't ever escape yourself. You are literally confined to your current abilities or more likely lack there of. Many ideas such as learn to forgive yourself don't work on an artist. Any activity outside of art means I am moving further away from my goal.
Backup plans are not about you failing but if the world fails you. There is no guarantee that the art you create generates liveable revenue because there are external factors you have little to no influence about.
This video i just wow. Reading the manga already baffled me but I think this essay perfectly captured the spirit and even carries on upon its theme. As an artist in music myself I am deeply I thoughts and at a loss for words. Beautiful. I hope you continue to find fulfillment in your art.
As an artist, who decided to quit my corporate job last month and finally become who I wanted to be for 14, almost 15 years of my life, even if I don't succeed or get recognized, it is something I want to do until I die. Art is pain, hassle, tediousness, messy, unbalanced, lonely process, but... the moment you pick up a pencil, a G-pen, a stylus, and just... work and work and work and work. It's magic. There are no words to describe, but it feels like something possesses you and you just work and work until it's done. Until you're satisfied... until it's worthy in your eyes. And just as you gaze upon it, you feel... complete. When you show it to others, they feel it too. You see their reaction, their smile and you feel it too. In that moment, all of the sudden, those thousands of hours become something small and easy. So you start again. Work again. Do it again.
I was treated as an art prodigy in school, kids thought I was weird because of it at times. I didn’t play sport, I wasn’t popular. It felt like I had to fit in. Years later and I’ve settled down for a dead end job that absolutely consumed my life. After reading this manga and reigniting my passion for art, I know who I am now and where I want to be. Im gonna keep doing what I love. Even if it consumes me I know I’ll be alright.
I haven’t drawn in a year despite how passionate I was about it my whole life, I was steadily improving, getting better and better.. then it suddenly stopped around when me and my 6 year long gf broke it off. Every time I think of art get so excited and flooded with ideas yet I do nothing. Thanks for making this. I’m going to keep watching. Maybe I’ll finally pick up art again.
Sometimes, making art for nothing and only as a time pass without a passion made it useless to even hold a pencil to draw something that looks half crappy at the end. A waste of paper that's permanently stuck inside a notebook but sometimes, even without the passion, it makes me feel worth in myself for doing something. Today, I made a portrait of my dad and gifted it to him. Why? I just wanted to, not for attention or even the sake to feel passion again, but to just do. Never realised what I lacked was the drive to create something for someone who is worth it, not me but someone else. The reaction of my dad made me realise that, the laughter and happiness he showed. I think I might have felt a streak of passion again that I lost years ago.
I was stucked on a wiriting block for an year, when joking with a new firend that I make about the things she likes to read I said "you should read good stuff like my book", so she agreed and I gave to her a pdf with half of the story since I didnt finished it yet. Seeing her reactions and talking with her about the story made me put my head 100% on finishing it. My writing process doesnt make any sense, I dont feel that everything I am doing is perfect and there are flawsI have 0 idea how to overcome. Yet, seeing everything I already wrote and saying "damn, I did this, I thought about it and I made it work, and someone liked" makes me want to do more and more. Perfect analysis, hope everyone here becomes a great artist
I'm kinda experiencing something similar. I started a novel almost a year ago and have been sending it out to friends, and them asking "when are new chapters coming?" is a major reason why I've gotten so far into it. I think I'm like 90k words in or something, and I'm closer to the end than I realize, I think. So having people hold you accountable always helps haha And thank you for the kind words!
Ive come back to this video a few times usually when I get stuck on a drawing and I feel it’s too difficult. Chapter 4 and 5 really resonated with me. Especially the concept of artist allowing themselves to be vulnerable with feelings so that can express/share that commonality with viewers. I like the personal insight in CH.5 about not being able to consume media regularly bc we’re too busy analyzing it. I often tell people that after watching a movie, I won’t be able to stop thinking about it for days. I’ll want to talk about it for hours after. Thanks for making this.
Yeah dude, wanting to talk about something after watching/reading it is why I have a youtube channel lol. I'm glad this resonated with you, and thank you for the kind words!
I have a younger brother who has grown up lonely and though I know I won't be able to be there for him as much as I'd like, he has me now and I know that whatever time I should do something, it should be now He got a brand new notebook recently and seeing how much he depends on me compared to my other family members for guidance and approval this made me realize just how much more impact I can have in his life with art alone and hopefully it can make up for the time lost and the time we won't be able to have in the future through this And it doesn't matter if he ends up taking art as a career or even a hobby, i just know there can be a deep connection built off of it that can inspire him to believe in himself and know that he's not alone Thank you for making this video, you were right and I'm thankful for it
I'm currently holding back tears very badly as I'm currently still doing art which is something I never thought i would be able to do in this setting. I've never had people look at my work and be amazed by it or get complimented for it. I've never had my work be the golden standard and so i never had the confidence that i could really do it. And now to be able to continue it and look at it and feel like I'm on the same level is something I'd never thought i'd get to experience. And even getting told my teachers they have high expectations from my photoshoot is so validating because i would put in so much work just for my previous teacher to say nothing about it. I've never been complimented by my teachers before let alone being told that they expect good things from me. It feels so validating like i don't have to run this uphill battle anymore, I finally have someone who looks at my work and agrees I'm worthy of being here. So overall yeah good video essay
This came on my suggested he day after I tried to create art for the first time in almost 6 months. I am a medical student and gave up my love for art years ago to get to where I am, I never stopped fully but u can remember the constant progress from me drawing at every spare moment. I gave up my passion for my other 'more valuable' passion, and I regret it often. I miss creating and having pride in what I make and I hope to have some time to keep doing it as a hobby. I watched this and cried thinking about how during the worst times in my life I created such beautiful art and now I cry over a textbook rather then a sketch book. In saying all of this I wouldn't change it, no one ever tells you that giving up creation in the pursuit of another passion will leave you so hollow and regretful, but that doesn''t mean I don't also feel fulfilled and happy too. Even if I went done the path of creation I am sure I would have hated that I wasted my academic protentional. I don't know what I am trying to say here but I just want someone else like me to know that you're not alone and it's okay to feel that regret, but please dont' let it consume you.
creativity is a muscle, and just like sports it's a lot easier to routinely continue where you left off as opposed to hurting your muscles after stopping for a long time
This is scarily too relatable to my life, i have a friend who im INSANLY jelous of, their art is unbeatablee there so good, but they always seem to have somthing good to say abt mine even thou its not nearly to her level though were the same age... i adore her work too its just man her work like boils me somtimes..
Thank you for this video. İt made me tear up a few times. I wish luck to all creators around the world and hope that they don't let go of their art/passion.
I didn’t expect myself to watch this, honestly, although I would instantly click on a clip about writing advice, hoping I would learn something genuinely, I’ve tried to not make “making art” or “writing a story” a big deal anymore. Whenever someone asks if I want to become a writer I would doubt it, saying it’s just a hobby and not a talent nor a way of living suitable for me, I guess it’s because my passion makes it unrealistic. It’s like what you stated, that Fujino either dedicate her whole time into making art or not practice entirely, sometimes writing sounds too good to be true, so I either live in a completely separated world or fit myself in with the mundane. I forgot how I felt within the process of turning myself down times to times, but this video really reminds me of what I used to think too. I wasn’t fond of the word “curse” at the time, so maybe that’s why I stopped hoping to get a reaction, but the way you describe this pain as a “sacrifice” really changed something in me. Thank you for this kind and honest video, it has completed my day.
I just wanted to listen to something while drawing my comic, I didn’t expect to feel this video so deeply.. I actually had to stop drawing to give my whole attention to the video! everything you said is soooo real
I remember telling my closest friends about my dream of becoming an author one day, to which they responded with a barely there smile and a 'what about a backup plan?' I don't think there was any experience I've ever had that stung as much as that. Thank you so much for your insightful and frankly eye-opening video. I subbed as fast as I could, sending a lot of love and support ♥️
Lost my computer today (it literally caught fire) and felt like i couldn't do art if it wasn't digital but i decided to draw on paper for the first time in years making me realize how much art has consumed me to the point giving up isn't an option (great video BTW)
Watching while painting ^^ "that is why art is valuable. That is why people like me and so many others spend their lives doing things that are hard and difficult, writing stories that are about people who are not real, diving deep into our own emotions and into our own feelings, giving way to worlds that don't exist. This is why people make art, is it's to make other people happy. It's for the connection that we all feel whenever we experience art together." That quote is going straight to my notes, thank you ❤
I’m at a time in my life where i have to choose my a path since I’ll finish high school next year and, if I’m being honest, choosing between an art career or a socially acceptable career has been the hardest decision ever. Your video reminded me of how much I love creating, even when I feel like I’m alone during the whole process. Thank you for this!
What i decided to do is go for a socially acceptable college that will not take up a lot of my time so i have time for art. And then later in life i might be able to choose what to do. We'll see how it turns out, I'm going to college in 2 months.
Firstly, this was an amazing video it was well edited and had some great analysis behind it so great job! Secondly I really feel this story as I have felt like Fuji sometimes but a bit differently, in that I want to make art and doubt my skills but also am totally unsure of what kind of art to make or which direction to take it in as a career. It’s devastating and I know when I check out the new film I’ll be a mess but still I love your interpretation and analysis, it feels like it clears the air. What you said about analysing I also deeply connect with but am coming to terms with. So yeah, thank you for the video!!! Made my day!
I believe i heard someone say da vinci painted his first masterpiece at 60,The narration,the video,the comic,the story telling... everything worked together in such a beautiful way,Thank you...i thank God for all of you
Ive literally cried 😢 while watching this vedio and also overcomed my art block ( i came up with a new story and drawn 3 pages , 9 drawings ) , its very inspiring, this vedio really helped me . Ill watch this vedio whenever i need encouragement 😊 thanks, god bless you !!
Hey, I'm an artist and university student studying the cognitive science of creativity. Loved this video, and thank you for confirming a lot of my ideas in my most recent project! (Art, music, and the flow state)
This video showed up on my recommended, and this specific video led me to subscribe to you! I resonated with this anime because I myself grew up to be a talented kid in art. Although there were plenty of people who inspired me to draw and paint I relied on myself to continue. That was until middle school hit and people were doubting me, I was a loner and have a pretty sad upbringing along with being in poverty. Pretty much I stopped drawing since digital drawing started getting popular. I went onto other art forms like dancing, clay, and sewing but I never felt passionate for it than traditional drawings. Till this day no one ever showed up to tell me to continue especially in this day in age where we have hustle culture and no one really stops to sympathize with one another. I gave up, but I am still a bit hopeful. I'm trying to get into manga and hopefully one day I'll come back to edit if I ever go back to my passion. I stopped at age 15 (towards the end of middle school and bits of beginning of High School) and rn I'm 23, turning 24 in Nov 7. :)
incredibly moving. I'm currently in my sophmore year of art college, and i get it. The struggle, the long nights, the demand, it's all there. This video feels comforting , just to know there are other people out there who are struggling with their own dreams as well. I truly, wish you the most success in your writing. Thank you for creating this video.
I've never seen one of your videos before, but your point about it's easier to keep going than to start and stop will be a quote I recall from now on as I grow as an artist. I wrote it down immediately in my sketchbook as a reminder.
Thank you for making this video. It was very much needed in my life. Like in the comics, I have too heard the phrase, in middle school, that I was going to become too big to draw. Or thinking that art is useless. But without art in my life I got depression, while with art came acceptance, healing, and feeling alive. It's an imperative.
“It’s easier to continue than to start.” Hearing that while procrastinating my final year design project, and finding it difficult to do anything, genuinely made me start to tear up. Thanks for this video.
All of this is so heavily relatable. These themes are so potent, the envy, conviction, hollow feeling, drifting away and towards art again (but it's more like floodgates bursting open each time I start again), the story that you're stuck with a rough draw of, the friends you make and the critics you make, trying to measure up and get better at the basics (for clarity of artistic message, or out of inferiority to those who are "better"), the obsession to the point where even walking around is a lesson in perspective and proportion, and the eventual conclusion that we create to connect to others through gifting them more than emotions: experiences. OUR experiences. We gift those to others and hope they get it, whether or not they do. I teared up a bit. Even hearing this story through a broken down lense (or maybe because of your spot on analysis) I still felt like I was attached to the characters and their struggles. Thank you for such a succint summary of what I've been trying to express about art for years.
i almost quit drawing recently. it just felt like my hands can't move the way it did before. i still tried, i hated it, i started trying again. i didn't know why i kept doing that. you reminded me why
im so glad i found this video, keep making this kind of stuff! i like listening to it and in some cases like this i feel like i should keep trying with what i wanna do
I had no idea about this manga and just accidentally stumbled upon your video essay through the feed. And I'm so glad that I decided to watch, thank you so much! I really liked how you described things and it really got me thinking about my art too, how artists connect and how we all share the same struggles and joys. Thank you again for making this video!
To any of you struggling to make any progress in art pls dont ever stop. Any time you dont quit youre already stronger then a lot of other people out there. Sometimes the whole art journey is really more about fighting with your lack of self worth and learning to trust yourself then its is about painting. Also look around to find mentors that can push you into the right direction. Most artists are really nice, forthcoming and very approachable. I think this stagnation that frustrates a lot of people when learning art is by far the hardest hurdle to overcome. And its so important to have an eye on your work thats way more trained and skilled then you are. Also a lot of people that do the grind make the mistake of thinking that "time spent drawing = mileage". Wich actually isnt really always the case. Ive seen too many people just walk in circles, making the same mistakes over and over. When practicing art you need a battle plan, you need to know what to practice and where your shortcomings are. Art really is more about observation, introspection and critical thinking and trusting/developing your own taste then it is about moving the pencil. Oh also: Fuck. Talent. Believing in talent and genetic superiority is actual self sabotage and wont get you anywhere ^^
I wanted to watch something that would cheer me up because i create art for myself. I dont sell it. I dont post it on social media anymore. I was starting to feel like there is no point in creating art for the sake of it. But i realized that if i make art to make myself happy, thats good enough. Its okay to enjoy things.
This hits home.... I've always loved art, loved pretty, well thought out things, smart references, small details. Of course I've tried making something too. But it is very difficult comming up with something that haven't existed before. It's like you need to become a god, to know and see everything, consider everything or at least far more than common people usually do. Even when I'm not working on something I still analyse everything.... Of course art is not a sensible choice of career. So I went to colledge and got a "practical" major, almost abandoning art entirely. Almost because I still consumed it. After graduating I had no idea where to go because I didn't really want to do the thing I studied no matter how hard I was trying to gaslight myself into making it a part of my personality. And so I've picked an adjacent, more "artsy" direction and have been studying it on my own for the past year. I'm still not sure of it. I feel like it's just an another excuse to procratinate on an inevitable choice between having a poor life and happy career or having a decent life but being doomed permanently. I can't live without art... It's the only thing that makes me feel something. I've been escaping to fictional worlds so much growing up so now I just feel like an alien in the real one. But I'm also not good enough to actually make it a career, I'm thinking way more than I actually creating stuff. Makes me even question if I have a right to call myself "an artist" since I haven't been drawing anything more complicated than some silly sketches in a LONG while. Basically I don't even have anything presentable to show to people when I say I'm an artist. But I do have a couple of stories in my mind and like pondering on them 24/7. Plainly speaking I'm a disgrace in every sense... I can't be a good worker but I can't even make something worthwhile as an artist. I'm just a worthless art-addicted shut-in sitting on my parent's back and overstaying my welcome for a while now.... Completely useless... I've been thinking of taking my own life to lessen the burden. I don't want to do anything other than art, I hate doing something other than art to the point of breaking down but I can't make good art that other people would enjoy (and willing to pay for so that I can actually survive on my own). It's a vicious circle that I don't know how to break. My parent keeps nagging me into getting the job I've been supposedly studying for a year now but I keep stalling. The pressure is immence and I'm not sure I can withstand it much longer.
Im a writer, currently working on my first novel. Ive recently been dealing with all of these issues that youve talked about. I put on this video and some calm music i picked up my notebook to keep writing and i started to cry. I even now am crying writing this. Because ive never had this struggle validated by anyone, its hard to write its hard to put these word onto paper and to tell a story. Its hard to know that everyone expects me to have a plan b. Its really really hard. But as i dry my eyes and finish this comment, i just want to thank you. This video your words and validation is something that i have never truly experienced. I decided to write after my world fell apart all around and even then it took me 6 months before i picked up a pen. And when i did i gave up a page into that story. It wasnt right for me not the story i needed to tell. Now i know what i need to write. Thank you for giving me the courage to write this. And the courage to write my novel. Oneday when its published ill think back on this and ill find some way to thank you again even if you dont see it. Thank you so much.
God i was a recluse during elementary to highschool just drawing then gave up from the lack of inspiration and other artists to channel it through and had a vibrant social life in college. I recently got back into art and I definitely dont socialize with my irl friends as much anymore. Art is a dedication
I resonate so much with Fujino and your thoughts on art making. I juggle between drawing and painting for my own personal creation, and making pottery as a business of making things to sell. And I find myself, at times, drawing less and less. Almost like the pottery making is taking all my creative energy. And sometimes there is a fear that my drawing will never get to the place I want it to. Like I could improve and truly create my ideas accurately, but I no longer make the time for it. There's always that thought of will my drawings get worse? Will they no longer be my main focus of translating my emotions creatively? Will my skill diminish over excessive time not using it? And I mean, I "draw" on some of my pottery, but it's not the same. It's more simple and less emotionally weighted. But pottery is also my income. And I'm truly not a very internet savvy person. So selling products online, or art prints, is very beyond me. But sometimes I contemplate doing less pottery, or no pottery, and getting a normal day job to suffer through, just so I can use the free time I have to draw again. Maybe it's just me, and I can't balance my time/ energy/ creative output. Just venting here, sorry about that. Your video really touched on alot of points that I've been feeling. Thanks for creating and sharing what you do. ✌️
Competition in art isn’t a me vs you situation. It’s a me vs me. You want to constantly improve and when you look at someone who seems levels above you and you want to be better. You think you suck all of a sudden and now you rush to get better and now it destroys you mentality, your own ego and desperation consuming you. This causes you to lose interest in art, but after a while you pick up the pencil again just for the same process. I’ve been drawing for about my whole life and while I have gotten insanely better I still don’t feel good enough. Every time I draw it’s either learning and applying that knowledge or being dissatisfied with what I’ve drawn.
Remember to tale care of yourself while you’re learning from every media you consume, remember there is someone on the other side trying to reach you too. Feel the soul of the art, not just the technicalities. Great video btw, I just recently watched the movie and hell, it’s rough buddy
I Feel the starting again after having not created much for a couple years, my art block as been pretty hard on me and I am working hard to get my mojo back. It's so hard to keep going sometimes because of the amount of energy that it takes to make something sometimes but I am hoping to get back into it where I can create more often and keep chasing my dreams.
This video and the manga story really spoke to my soul. Ive experienced everything you mentioned. Please keep gking and dont give uo in anything you choose to pursue.
Thank you so much for this video, honestly it means a ton. It resonates with me a lot, I remember a few years prior getting made fun of my art and being ridiculed because of my dream of going to art school. I feel like people who don't have as deep of a connection with art do not understand how crushing it feels to be ridiculed when you put pieces of yourself and the things you love in your art. Such a good video, made me cry. Thank you again.
this video has been sitting in my watch later playlist for at least a month. when i finally got to watch it, i didnt even realize "look back" was a manga and not just part of the video's title lmao. i watched it anyway and it was already really good and prompted me to buy look back and read it for myself. and man it was SO GOOD. im an artist too and i agree w many things said in this video ab it. also this video helped me understand the story more so i rly appreciate it :))
i was scared this was a video analysis that doesnt do any analysis whatsoever and just reiterates the plot, but this has defied my expectations. i really love how you wrote about art and everything leading up to art, thank you for talking about look back so beautifully, it made me think about it alot more
I just wanted to say I just finished watching this movie yesterday night and wanted to hear other people’s opinions and deep dives on this story and yours really hit everything so perfectly, you did an amazing job on this and out of all the deep dives I watched, this was my favorite and I felt that the story deeply resonated with you too, thanks for covering this and thanks for creating and being a creator, we’re all in this with fujino
@@noahmcalister there will be ups and downs, and the road of creativity is paved with failures but it’s the fact that despite it all, at the very end.. we have created something and put it into the world. Just like you did with this video, you touched the heart of other people, you touched my heart, so keep creating and never stop
I've seen this video constantly pop up on my recommended and today I decided I'd watch it, only to realize there was a reason why It kept coming up, I'm very thankful for this video, for some reason although I knew about artists appreciating each other's work no matter the difference in skill level, I always denied and refused to believe anyone would ever truly appreciate or be gravitated to my work, but this made me realize that it is possible, that I should believe in that, I cried several times throughout this video because lately I've been exiting my comfort zone with art, I'm about to make 2 years doing art, and I feel like although I haven't been extremely persistent, that my progress has been extremely good so far, it comes with tons of stress, frustration especially for me because I cannot handle stress and frustration very well, but I've already done some works im very proud of. I cried when I realized and stopped denying that people could possibly love and gravitate towards my art nowadays, because when I first started I felt I was terrible in my AP art class but my classmates still supported me, and I cried when you mentioned how our art can make people happy or make their day yk and it's true, I've created some art works/paintings for my girlfriend, very meaningful pieces that although I wasn't super happy with certain things correlated to my skill level, she absolutely loved them and always shows how grateful she is about them, so thank you again for making this video, I guess this is what it took for me to stop denying that anyone would ever like my art or that it'd ever be impactful to someone
You’re actually going to make me sob in my math class 🥹 I’m not going into an art career although a small part of me wishes I had but yet I still draw it isn’t the best and my pages never get much attention but knowing that at least one person likes my art makes me happy, doodling my sisters and them actually liking it makes me happy! I love drawing others characters and seeing their reactions I love working on my own personal projects it makes me happy Thank you this video was absolutely wonderful to listen to :)
When I clicked on the video I didnt expect to end up liking it so much that id even comment, which I never do, yet this really hit home. I am an artist in multipple different ways and still constantly am on the grind to improve and widen my knowledge and experiences, yet I still get those moments when I think -why am I even doing this, why have I let it consume me this much?- and in the end I still keep going because it feels like the right thing for me both in expressing myself and what I want to do. This video reminded me that I'm not the only one experiencing this, that so many people can relate even though it's not the best it's nice knowing that, and we can share the experience and grow from it. (I really hope I'm making sense here since English isn't my first language and my head is a bit of a mess rn)
Every time I read this manga I cry, every time I think about this manga I cry. Fujimoto is such an inspiration for me honestly, thank you for making this video I liked hearing your perspective and now I’m crying hehe (I’m just a v erm.. tearful person)
I read this one a while back. I remember seeing one interpretation that Kyomoto is supposed to represent the passion of persuing art for art's sake, hence why the relationship ebbs and flows the way it does. I'm not sure if I agree with it, but I thought it was interesting to note. We can't always hope for a painless life by persuing something we think is worthwhile, but having people who can appreciate what we create must surely help, if just a little bit. It seems we both have the same "I can't switch my brain off when I consume any media" problem! I like to think it makes my experience of things richer, though it's definitely made it seem like I'm experiencing a different reality to others based on other responses people have. Your approach in your videos comes across as very thoughtful, so it shouldn't be surprising that you inspire thoughtful responses in return. Is the Oscar Wilde quote you were thinking of: "All art is quite useless"?
Yeah, that's definitely an interesting lens to view Kyomoto through. I think there's some truth to that view for sure, but I don't think that's everything. The entire "making art for art's sake" vs "making art for another purpose" thing has always been interesting to me, but honestly, I don't know if you'll ever be fully 100% on either side of the fence, if that makes sense And thank you, I appreciate the kind thoughts And yes! I feared putting the quote in the description would cause people to see it and then immediately comment as if the quote was representative of my own views or the video as a whole. Wilde's got some bangers line, though
It makes sense to me - I think that even if we wanted to, being fueled 100% by our own passion is incredibly difficult, because life happens and we can't expect our feelings to carry us all the way. On the other hand, creating only for the sake of others would probably result in something inauthentic. Yes! And I get that - it's frustrating being misunderstood.
I picked my pencil back up today
😎 awesome
I’m so happy for you
good job
hell yeah love to hear
I'm proud
Not gonna lie, this made me cry. As an artist myself I also often get sucked into this mindset of art being useless, but it still is a part of me - literally. This video made me realise how much art is important to me, so thank you
I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE!! I didnt think the video would hit this hard
Yeah same here, even with everything that is going on with art nowadays I got reminded of why I started and why I create art...
Art might be useless but it is less useless than anything else i can do in my free time, like playing games or watching something.
@lostan3505 welcome back to art 🎨😎
It's not usseless. Art can make people connect and feel, it might be stupid, but I realized how important art is and why we humans feel a constant need to create even if the odds are against it when I heard a song that resonated with me and cured a part of me, it made me feel so better and understood... a simple song. Art is important
"Whats your back up plan" idk boom myself
I'm a university student, trying to get out to make manga. You have no idea how many times they ask me this. I'm scared they might not let me. Never fall in love with art, ever. It like a curse and yet a blessing. I almost cried
Thats so funny and true but sad at the same time 😢
my plan actually
“Hopefully I wouldn’t need one”
@@omegateklu856 i actually got into college, i was one of the 10% who did well enough in the test so i got a place. That place is on chemical engineering, and i was so happy, but then i realized that even tough i could become a chemical engineer and get a job, it's simply not my passion.
I've always liked drawing, comics, manga, anime, all of that stuff is something very important to me and to who i am, but i chose a career as a chemical engineer because i tought "there's no way I'm gonna find a job as an artist, there's so much competition and so few spots open". But now I'm gonna quit chemical engineering to get into design and visual communication, and that's something i really want to do, i feel determined and feel is my path. Whatever happens, wether or not i get a job in the future, wether or not i make a living, I don't care. I care more about my happiness than money, even if don't have money to live I don't care, I'll kurt cobain myself, but i know i was happy because my pursuit was my passion, not comfort.
Bro, the part where you said "I can't enjoy any piece of media any more without analyzing it and dissecting and letting it affect how I make art" hit SO HARD. Making art is so painfully consuming and isolating sometimes but lately I've felt so much connection and comfort from other artists expressing the same feelings. Imposter syndrome, loneliness, being hard on ourselves. Like I said, it's consuming. Thanks for sharing this video. I need to go re-read look back.
Yeah, it's easier to appreciate an artist when you don't see them as a rival. But it can also improve your viewing experience, you notice a lot more about a piece of work than a person who doesn't do art. I love watching anime and cartoons because every single one has such unique animation and ways of telling the story which is not really that present in traditional movies, while my parents just see them all as cartoons and laugh at me for watching them.
As a Japanese, when I read this manga , I was as moved as I was by this video, but at the same time I was reminded of the Kyoto Animation arson case. The criminal also committed the crime with the absurd motive that his work was stolen. I imagine that the artist also continued to ask the question, "Why do I still draw?
@@someonelsy Lol how do you not know what piece means
This is why finding friends interested in art as an artist is so, so very important. Its far too easy to become a hermit crab and just slave away for some ephemeral goal that may never come but if you have help, or even just someone tlin your corner to encourage you it changes so much.
im so glad i found someone my age who is into art as much as i am
@@wagahagwa6978 I don't know if I'm around your age or not but I do also like art and we are talking here so there is that too. Potential art friends can be easier to find than people think. Good long term ones though like irl ones are tricky however.
This is one of the most insightful looks at the artist and the process of art that I've ever seen.
Thank you, I appreciate it!
@@noahmcalister I've been in similar place and I know I'm not alone in that regard. It's true that you: a. have to be dedicated to the art that you're making, b. have to work hard to improve your craft (which means sacrificing time and energy spent elsewhere), and c. have to ignore the trolls and "well-meaning" friends and family. When they talk about "suffering for your art," those are just the opening salvos.
That hit a lil too hard (currently bawling my eyes out)
Same here friend :_)
Your videos stopped me from committing suicide. Or more so after I attempted I sat down and found your videos, I loved them. Every day I would check for a new video, I loved when you talked about art and u would look forward to these, I still do. I cannot understand people criticizing you, to me you are amazing, another level. This might sound parasocial but I love you.
I’m no good with words, but take care! ❤️
Suicidal Depression isn't an easy thing, sorry to hear that. It helped me to take things hour by hour... I got told all the time to "do it day by day", but days are far too long and nebulous for me when I'm feeling particularly terrible. If I take it hour by hour, the goal is much smaller and far more manageable.
Hey there, I hope you're doing okay. I'm really happy my videos have helped you. It's one of those things where it's just wild for me to hear that, just because I can remember whatever I was experiencing when I made almost every video, so it's crazy for me to hear others' reactions, especially when the videos have helped. Life is hard, but I've found strength in making vids and I'm glad they've seemed to help others. It means a lot and I feel like I can't properly express my feelings in words, so I'll say this. I hope you're doing okay, friend
I wish you absolutely nothing but the best
As a strangers on the internet. I wish everything will be alright for you and life is a precious thing. I don't think Suicide is worth taking it away. ;) take care man
There's an obsession with art that can make you resent people/creators you once looked up to. You start to wonder "how did they get so good? Are they cheating? What do they know that I don't? Am I really that bad of an artist?" I have thoughts like these constantly, and it's hard to change that mentality because on one hand, it is simpler to just think you're terrible. That there's this thing you lack that someone else has, that it's easier to just raise up your hands and go "well, that's just the way it is," and stop trying. But for me, the desire to create, even if it's nothing special, is so strong, I can't stop. Even if I hate it, even if I hate myself, there's something that keeps me going. That something isn't for anyone else, it might just be my own desire to be better. But reading this story, it made me realize how much I wish I had someone like Kyomoto in my life. I'm lucky enough to have people who support what I do, but none of them are artists. None of them really understand what it's like. I want to have someone the same as me, who understands everything. Who can relate to the pain and joy. And while I may never meet that person in real life, it's comforting to know they are at least out there.
I think this one shot is one of the most accurate portrayals of what it's like to be someone who draws. I can absolutely relate to Fujino, having an ego when I was younger, realizing I wasn't that good, grinding and failing to be better, wondering why I even bother to keep going. It's not glamorous, it's ugly and even kind of pathetic at times. But, I want to keep going. I don't want to stop. Ever.
❤
A few months ago I tried to kill myself because of a hobby. That hobby being drawing. I wanted to be known in the art community, I wanted to inspire people, I wanted to be someone’s favorite artist. My art isn’t good at all, at least to me. I know I can do better. But whenever I draw, the thoughts of “there’s better artists out there” “you suck at drawing” stay in my head, I can’t finish my drawings because of that. But if I don’t draw I can’t get better. I want to be the best or I won’t be satisfied with myself. I wish I could stop making a hobby into a petty competition. I stopped drawing recently, it’s become absolutely unenjoyable for me and it’s unhealthy to continue. I hope I can find my passion again in the future.
Im so sorry to hear that, its definitely more than just art block but i have a recommendation. If youre drawing and your art looks bad, take a break from it. Maybe 30 mins to an hour. Once you come back to it, it should look better. Your eyes start to spot flaws or even make up flaws if it stares at something for too long. ^^
Hey there, sorry to hear about your struggles. I've struggled with that feeling of wanting to be the best, especially with writing and storytelling. One thing that helped break this attitude was that I realized there wasn't a number 1 best. Like, there's a tier of artists and writers and creators I like, and I have a favorite band, but if you asked me who the best writer is, I couldn't give you a confident answer. There are a lot of greats and what makes them great is their own style. Of course there's garbage masquerading as greatness, but I can't say who the number 1 writer is, bc it's dependent upon your taste. All that to say, I dont think that there's a no. 1 perfect creator and there's room for many great creators, and there's room for those aspiring ones, including you or me.
I feel weird suggesting my own videos, I always feel weird, but I can't sum up my thoughts in a comment the way that I did in a video. So, feeling weirdness aside, can I recommend the video I did back in November, I think, where I was dressed like a vampire. It was called something like You Can Only Make Imperfect Things or Nothing. Essentially, nothing you make will be perfect, which is a difficult pill to swallow, but it's freeing when you realize and accept it
Life's hard, and I'm sorry for your struggles. I wish you the best, friend
The more you draw the more you develope your own style , i draw to escape from my day job , so doing art is pleasurable. Give it time
Its really tough making art because its inherently so personal - and a lot of the progress we make is often tied to coaching and learning to be patient with ourselves. If youre in a bad spot its really important to just sort out your personal stuff first. A lot of art related pains I see (especially younger) people complain about are often not art related at all but way more personal struggles they have to overcome somehow. Your art cant blossom until you take care of yourself first!
one art teacher i trusted in art school called my work low quality compared to the rest of the class. Still haunts me to this day and gives me impostor syndrome to destructive lvls but in same time i don't want to give up because of that. i still feel like i need to continue to win my "no, you're wrong" against the demon of my insecurities.
I have a similar evil villain backstory lol. Yeah, I think that's the best you can do, push on and succeed despite what someone else may have said. Though hopefully, along the way, we're able to find positive, less vindictive reasons for continuing lol
@@noahmcalister I don't want vindictive reasons to keep continuing. i want to prove that 1diot who planted the seed of doubt that he was wrong. each time i wanted to show him what i could he would shut me down without even hearing what i had to say because maybe there would have been something good that he could have helped me with. Before that uppity individual i had a different and positive approach to art and i want to regain it without being haunted by the words of some snob praised around because he had opportunities.
It’s upsetting how often you hear a story of somebody in school being told that there art is bad, especially because it’s an institute of learning. a teacher has so much sway and it’s upsetting that they abuse it to put students down.
1:12 This expression is the greatest compliment one artist can give another in their field.
Human connection really does drive inspiration and work, for those days that you'll laugh, Talk, and smile with them ... this video essay was amazing, I think I'll get back to driving myself towards a future like that
and continue making your art Noah I really enjoy it :D
I find that art is one of those things that you can’t just walk away from- not as an artist at least. There is always a new idea for a piece in your head or, hey that shadow looks like a cat, or that color is beautiful, what is it?, or something drifting through your mind day in and day out about art. I think it’s why artists are often attributed with the ‘gifted’ quality - everything we see is art.
oh i love this. it really hits hard that art is extremely difficult and unglamourous and "useless" when we'd be nowhere without art, you said it super well ^_^
This video essay nearly brought me to tears. My biological dad is an artist and a damn good one at that. He abandoned my mom while she was pregnant with me and we ceased all contact with him. He was probably not a good person but he was an artist, and I am too. I sometimes find myself stalking his Facebook to peek at his artworks. If I could choose I wouldn't even want to be associated with art in any way because of him. I don't like art, it's hard and boring and tedious but I still come back to it. I'm not even that good at it because I delay my progress using excuses. I get so embarrassed whenever my mom sees me drawing, trying to be half of what the person that betrayed her was - a really good artist. And then there's the business where I pretend to hate it when people compliment my work because that means I'm starting to become the person that I dislike the most. But secretly I appreciate it when people appreciate my work. When they say "oh wow that's really good" I get so happy and proud of what I made.
Maybe I would've enjoyed art more had that artist not been my father.
sorry to comment i don’t wanna appear nosy but i think it’s great you seem to have an interest in art, i understand regarding your father you find it difficult to do art ^^ but your father doesn’t define you or your art and i know it may be more obvious said than to believe and im sure your mom understands that too ^^ you don’t have to feel guilty, ^^ also sorry if im saying stuff you already know but good luck with your art journey 🙏🍀
I've stopped making art for the past year because life got in the way, so what you said about how it's much harder to stop and start than continually taking steps (whether or not there's tangible progress) really resonated with me. Maybe it's time for me to finally get back into drawing...your video made me realize how much I've missed just that process of creation
Yeah, I mean, my question when deciding what to do is always, what better thing could I be doing? Bc for me, if I don't make something, I'll just waste time online. So while creation is hard, the alternative is nothing good. So idk if that'll help you, but that's my mindset
Hoping you can get into the groove of creating once more, if that's your desire. Wishing you the best
Being an artist is hard because you can't ever escape yourself. You are literally confined to your current abilities or more likely lack there of. Many ideas such as learn to forgive yourself don't work on an artist.
Any activity outside of art means I am moving further away from my goal.
Backup plans are not about you failing but if the world fails you. There is no guarantee that the art you create generates liveable revenue because there are external factors you have little to no influence about.
This video i just wow. Reading the manga already baffled me but I think this essay perfectly captured the spirit and even carries on upon its theme. As an artist in music myself I am deeply I thoughts and at a loss for words. Beautiful. I hope you continue to find fulfillment in your art.
Thank you for the kind words. It honestly means a lot
Usually don’t ever leave comments but this was a beautiful peace, thank you
As an artist, who decided to quit my corporate job last month and finally become who I wanted to be for 14, almost 15 years of my life, even if I don't succeed or get recognized, it is something I want to do until I die. Art is pain, hassle, tediousness, messy, unbalanced, lonely process, but... the moment you pick up a pencil, a G-pen, a stylus, and just... work and work and work and work. It's magic. There are no words to describe, but it feels like something possesses you and you just work and work until it's done. Until you're satisfied... until it's worthy in your eyes. And just as you gaze upon it, you feel... complete. When you show it to others, they feel it too. You see their reaction, their smile and you feel it too. In that moment, all of the sudden, those thousands of hours become something small and easy. So you start again. Work again. Do it again.
I was treated as an art prodigy in school, kids thought I was weird because of it at times. I didn’t play sport, I wasn’t popular. It felt like I had to fit in.
Years later and I’ve settled down for a dead end job that absolutely consumed my life.
After reading this manga and reigniting my passion for art, I know who I am now and where I want to be. Im gonna keep doing what I love. Even if it consumes me I know I’ll be alright.
I haven’t drawn in a year despite how passionate I was about it my whole life, I was steadily improving, getting better and better.. then it suddenly stopped around when me and my 6 year long gf broke it off.
Every time I think of art get so excited and flooded with ideas yet I do nothing. Thanks for making this. I’m going to keep watching. Maybe I’ll finally pick up art again.
Sometimes, making art for nothing and only as a time pass without a passion made it useless to even hold a pencil to draw something that looks half crappy at the end. A waste of paper that's permanently stuck inside a notebook but sometimes, even without the passion, it makes me feel worth in myself for doing something.
Today, I made a portrait of my dad and gifted it to him. Why? I just wanted to, not for attention or even the sake to feel passion again, but to just do. Never realised what I lacked was the drive to create something for someone who is worth it, not me but someone else. The reaction of my dad made me realise that, the laughter and happiness he showed. I think I might have felt a streak of passion again that I lost years ago.
I was stucked on a wiriting block for an year, when joking with a new firend that I make about the things she likes to read I said "you should read good stuff like my book", so she agreed and I gave to her a pdf with half of the story since I didnt finished it yet. Seeing her reactions and talking with her about the story made me put my head 100% on finishing it. My writing process doesnt make any sense, I dont feel that everything I am doing is perfect and there are flawsI have 0 idea how to overcome. Yet, seeing everything I already wrote and saying "damn, I did this, I thought about it and I made it work, and someone liked" makes me want to do more and more. Perfect analysis, hope everyone here becomes a great artist
I'm kinda experiencing something similar. I started a novel almost a year ago and have been sending it out to friends, and them asking "when are new chapters coming?" is a major reason why I've gotten so far into it. I think I'm like 90k words in or something, and I'm closer to the end than I realize, I think. So having people hold you accountable always helps haha
And thank you for the kind words!
Fujino and Kyomoto being besties again biting their favourite cakes nobody dies 4K ultra hd 😭😭😭😭
The way you weave this story and your experiences to it is so good. It’s captivating and is honestly a great video. Keep up your art man.❤️
this video essay is the ONLY video essay that did something to me. Good job this was an amazing watch
Ive come back to this video a few times usually when I get stuck on a drawing and I feel it’s too difficult. Chapter 4 and 5 really resonated with me. Especially the concept of artist allowing themselves to be vulnerable with feelings so that can express/share that commonality with viewers. I like the personal insight in CH.5 about not being able to consume media regularly bc we’re too busy analyzing it. I often tell people that after watching a movie, I won’t be able to stop thinking about it for days. I’ll want to talk about it for hours after. Thanks for making this.
Yeah dude, wanting to talk about something after watching/reading it is why I have a youtube channel lol. I'm glad this resonated with you, and thank you for the kind words!
I have a younger brother who has grown up lonely and though I know I won't be able to be there for him as much as I'd like, he has me now and I know that whatever time I should do something, it should be now
He got a brand new notebook recently and seeing how much he depends on me compared to my other family members for guidance and approval this made me realize just how much more impact I can have in his life with art alone and hopefully it can make up for the time lost and the time we won't be able to have in the future through this
And it doesn't matter if he ends up taking art as a career or even a hobby, i just know there can be a deep connection built off of it that can inspire him to believe in himself and know that he's not alone
Thank you for making this video, you were right and I'm thankful for it
I'm currently holding back tears very badly as I'm currently still doing art which is something I never thought i would be able to do in this setting. I've never had people look at my work and be amazed by it or get complimented for it. I've never had my work be the golden standard and so i never had the confidence that i could really do it. And now to be able to continue it and look at it and feel like I'm on the same level is something I'd never thought i'd get to experience. And even getting told my teachers they have high expectations from my photoshoot is so validating because i would put in so much work just for my previous teacher to say nothing about it. I've never been complimented by my teachers before let alone being told that they expect good things from me. It feels so validating like i don't have to run this uphill battle anymore, I finally have someone who looks at my work and agrees I'm worthy of being here. So overall yeah good video essay
This came on my suggested he day after I tried to create art for the first time in almost 6 months. I am a medical student and gave up my love for art years ago to get to where I am, I never stopped fully but u can remember the constant progress from me drawing at every spare moment. I gave up my passion for my other 'more valuable' passion, and I regret it often. I miss creating and having pride in what I make and I hope to have some time to keep doing it as a hobby. I watched this and cried thinking about how during the worst times in my life I created such beautiful art and now I cry over a textbook rather then a sketch book. In saying all of this I wouldn't change it, no one ever tells you that giving up creation in the pursuit of another passion will leave you so hollow and regretful, but that doesn''t mean I don't also feel fulfilled and happy too. Even if I went done the path of creation I am sure I would have hated that I wasted my academic protentional. I don't know what I am trying to say here but I just want someone else like me to know that you're not alone and it's okay to feel that regret, but please dont' let it consume you.
Look back inspired me and somewhat changed me, im so glad there's other artists that could see themselves here too.
creativity is a muscle, and just like sports it's a lot easier to routinely continue where you left off as opposed to hurting your muscles after stopping for a long time
All of the stand-ins of what the characters represents just makes this even more heartbreaking. I love Fujimoto’a art.
This is scarily too relatable to my life, i have a friend who im INSANLY jelous of, their art is unbeatablee there so good, but they always seem to have somthing good to say abt mine even thou its not nearly to her level though were the same age... i adore her work too its just man her work like boils me somtimes..
Thank you for this video. İt made me tear up a few times. I wish luck to all creators around the world and hope that they don't let go of their art/passion.
Reading the comments and realising we’re all crying
thanks to you i finally can understand why artists like me keep going. thank you for that
I didn’t expect myself to watch this, honestly, although I would instantly click on a clip about writing advice, hoping I would learn something genuinely, I’ve tried to not make “making art” or “writing a story” a big deal anymore. Whenever someone asks if I want to become a writer I would doubt it, saying it’s just a hobby and not a talent nor a way of living suitable for me, I guess it’s because my passion makes it unrealistic. It’s like what you stated, that Fujino either dedicate her whole time into making art or not practice entirely, sometimes writing sounds too good to be true, so I either live in a completely separated world or fit myself in with the mundane. I forgot how I felt within the process of turning myself down times to times, but this video really reminds me of what I used to think too. I wasn’t fond of the word “curse” at the time, so maybe that’s why I stopped hoping to get a reaction, but the way you describe this pain as a “sacrifice” really changed something in me. Thank you for this kind and honest video, it has completed my day.
I just wanted to listen to something while drawing my comic, I didn’t expect to feel this video so deeply.. I actually had to stop drawing to give my whole attention to the video! everything you said is soooo real
The freak murderer was most likely a direct reference to the KyoAni arson.
That's what I felt too when I read it
I remember telling my closest friends about my dream of becoming an author one day, to which they responded with a barely there smile and a 'what about a backup plan?' I don't think there was any experience I've ever had that stung as much as that. Thank you so much for your insightful and frankly eye-opening video. I subbed as fast as I could, sending a lot of love and support ♥️
Lost my computer today (it literally caught fire) and felt like i couldn't do art if it wasn't digital but i decided to draw on paper for the first time in years making me realize how much art has consumed me to the point giving up isn't an option (great video BTW)
Watching while painting ^^ "that is why art is valuable. That is why people like me and so many others spend their lives doing things that are hard and difficult, writing stories that are about people who are not real, diving deep into our own emotions and into our own feelings, giving way to worlds that don't exist. This is why people make art, is it's to make other people happy. It's for the connection that we all feel whenever we experience art together." That quote is going straight to my notes, thank you ❤
I’m at a time in my life where i have to choose my a path since I’ll finish high school next year and, if I’m being honest, choosing between an art career or a socially acceptable career has been the hardest decision ever. Your video reminded me of how much I love creating, even when I feel like I’m alone during the whole process. Thank you for this!
What i decided to do is go for a socially acceptable college that will not take up a lot of my time so i have time for art. And then later in life i might be able to choose what to do. We'll see how it turns out, I'm going to college in 2 months.
Firstly, this was an amazing video it was well edited and had some great analysis behind it so great job! Secondly I really feel this story as I have felt like Fuji sometimes but a bit differently, in that I want to make art and doubt my skills but also am totally unsure of what kind of art to make or which direction to take it in as a career. It’s devastating and I know when I check out the new film I’ll be a mess but still I love your interpretation and analysis, it feels like it clears the air. What you said about analysing I also deeply connect with but am coming to terms with. So yeah, thank you for the video!!! Made my day!
I believe i heard someone say da vinci painted his first masterpiece at 60,The narration,the video,the comic,the story telling... everything worked together in such a beautiful way,Thank you...i thank God for all of you
This is so beautiful! Thank you, and never stop creating. Somebody somewhere will appreciate it 🙂
never read it
but the way you retold story was like damn
good video, keep going man
Ive literally cried 😢 while watching this vedio and also overcomed my art block ( i came up with a new story and drawn 3 pages , 9 drawings ) , its very inspiring, this vedio really helped me . Ill watch this vedio whenever i need encouragement 😊 thanks, god bless you !!
Hey, I'm an artist and university student studying the cognitive science of creativity. Loved this video, and thank you for confirming a lot of my ideas in my most recent project! (Art, music, and the flow state)
This video showed up on my recommended, and this specific video led me to subscribe to you! I resonated with this anime because I myself grew up to be a talented kid in art. Although there were plenty of people who inspired me to draw and paint I relied on myself to continue. That was until middle school hit and people were doubting me, I was a loner and have a pretty sad upbringing along with being in poverty. Pretty much I stopped drawing since digital drawing started getting popular. I went onto other art forms like dancing, clay, and sewing but I never felt passionate for it than traditional drawings. Till this day no one ever showed up to tell me to continue especially in this day in age where we have hustle culture and no one really stops to sympathize with one another. I gave up, but I am still a bit hopeful. I'm trying to get into manga and hopefully one day I'll come back to edit if I ever go back to my passion. I stopped at age 15 (towards the end of middle school and bits of beginning of High School) and rn I'm 23, turning 24 in Nov 7. :)
incredibly moving. I'm currently in my sophmore year of art college, and i get it. The struggle, the long nights, the demand, it's all there.
This video feels comforting , just to know there are other people out there who are struggling with their own dreams as well. I truly, wish you the most success in your writing. Thank you for creating this video.
I've never seen one of your videos before, but your point about it's easier to keep going than to start and stop will be a quote I recall from now on as I grow as an artist. I wrote it down immediately in my sketchbook as a reminder.
Thank you for making this video. It was very much needed in my life. Like in the comics, I have too heard the phrase, in middle school, that I was going to become too big to draw. Or thinking that art is useless. But without art in my life I got depression, while with art came acceptance, healing, and feeling alive. It's an imperative.
I was not expecting this video to make me cry. I’m an artist and this video deeply resonated with me in every way.
idk if I have some shit to work through or something but this legit brought me to tears
“It’s easier to continue than to start.”
Hearing that while procrastinating my final year design project, and finding it difficult to do anything, genuinely made me start to tear up. Thanks for this video.
All of this is so heavily relatable. These themes are so potent, the envy, conviction, hollow feeling, drifting away and towards art again (but it's more like floodgates bursting open each time I start again), the story that you're stuck with a rough draw of, the friends you make and the critics you make, trying to measure up and get better at the basics (for clarity of artistic message, or out of inferiority to those who are "better"), the obsession to the point where even walking around is a lesson in perspective and proportion, and the eventual conclusion that we create to connect to others through gifting them more than emotions: experiences. OUR experiences. We gift those to others and hope they get it, whether or not they do.
I teared up a bit. Even hearing this story through a broken down lense (or maybe because of your spot on analysis) I still felt like I was attached to the characters and their struggles. Thank you for such a succint summary of what I've been trying to express about art for years.
I just wanna say this was one well-written video essay
i almost quit drawing recently. it just felt like my hands can't move the way it did before. i still tried, i hated it, i started trying again. i didn't know why i kept doing that. you reminded me why
im so glad i found this video, keep making this kind of stuff! i like listening to it and in some cases like this i feel like i should keep trying with what i wanna do
I had no idea about this manga and just accidentally stumbled upon your video essay through the feed. And I'm so glad that I decided to watch, thank you so much! I really liked how you described things and it really got me thinking about my art too, how artists connect and how we all share the same struggles and joys. Thank you again for making this video!
To any of you struggling to make any progress in art pls dont ever stop. Any time you dont quit youre already stronger then a lot of other people out there. Sometimes the whole art journey is really more about fighting with your lack of self worth and learning to trust yourself then its is about painting.
Also look around to find mentors that can push you into the right direction. Most artists are really nice, forthcoming and very approachable. I think this stagnation that frustrates a lot of people when learning art is by far the hardest hurdle to overcome. And its so important to have an eye on your work thats way more trained and skilled then you are. Also a lot of people that do the grind make the mistake of thinking that "time spent drawing = mileage". Wich actually isnt really always the case. Ive seen too many people just walk in circles, making the same mistakes over and over. When practicing art you need a battle plan, you need to know what to practice and where your shortcomings are. Art really is more about observation, introspection and critical thinking and trusting/developing your own taste then it is about moving the pencil.
Oh also: Fuck. Talent. Believing in talent and genetic superiority is actual self sabotage and wont get you anywhere ^^
im really glad that i found this video. I feel like it found me at the right time with how im viewing my art currently. Thanks forr making this, man.
I wanted to watch something that would cheer me up because i create art for myself. I dont sell it. I dont post it on social media anymore. I was starting to feel like there is no point in creating art for the sake of it. But i realized that if i make art to make myself happy, thats good enough. Its okay to enjoy things.
This hits home.... I've always loved art, loved pretty, well thought out things, smart references, small details. Of course I've tried making something too. But it is very difficult comming up with something that haven't existed before. It's like you need to become a god, to know and see everything, consider everything or at least far more than common people usually do. Even when I'm not working on something I still analyse everything....
Of course art is not a sensible choice of career. So I went to colledge and got a "practical" major, almost abandoning art entirely. Almost because I still consumed it. After graduating I had no idea where to go because I didn't really want to do the thing I studied no matter how hard I was trying to gaslight myself into making it a part of my personality. And so I've picked an adjacent, more "artsy" direction and have been studying it on my own for the past year. I'm still not sure of it. I feel like it's just an another excuse to procratinate on an inevitable choice between having a poor life and happy career or having a decent life but being doomed permanently.
I can't live without art... It's the only thing that makes me feel something. I've been escaping to fictional worlds so much growing up so now I just feel like an alien in the real one. But I'm also not good enough to actually make it a career, I'm thinking way more than I actually creating stuff. Makes me even question if I have a right to call myself "an artist" since I haven't been drawing anything more complicated than some silly sketches in a LONG while. Basically I don't even have anything presentable to show to people when I say I'm an artist. But I do have a couple of stories in my mind and like pondering on them 24/7. Plainly speaking I'm a disgrace in every sense... I can't be a good worker but I can't even make something worthwhile as an artist. I'm just a worthless art-addicted shut-in sitting on my parent's back and overstaying my welcome for a while now.... Completely useless... I've been thinking of taking my own life to lessen the burden. I don't want to do anything other than art, I hate doing something other than art to the point of breaking down but I can't make good art that other people would enjoy (and willing to pay for so that I can actually survive on my own). It's a vicious circle that I don't know how to break. My parent keeps nagging me into getting the job I've been supposedly studying for a year now but I keep stalling. The pressure is immence and I'm not sure I can withstand it much longer.
Oh my god did this video make me bawl my eyes out- as an artist it just kinda hit me like a truck multiple times
Im a writer, currently working on my first novel. Ive recently been dealing with all of these issues that youve talked about. I put on this video and some calm music i picked up my notebook to keep writing and i started to cry. I even now am crying writing this. Because ive never had this struggle validated by anyone, its hard to write its hard to put these word onto paper and to tell a story. Its hard to know that everyone expects me to have a plan b. Its really really hard. But as i dry my eyes and finish this comment, i just want to thank you. This video your words and validation is something that i have never truly experienced. I decided to write after my world fell apart all around and even then it took me 6 months before i picked up a pen. And when i did i gave up a page into that story. It wasnt right for me not the story i needed to tell. Now i know what i need to write. Thank you for giving me the courage to write this. And the courage to write my novel. Oneday when its published ill think back on this and ill find some way to thank you again even if you dont see it. Thank you so much.
God i was a recluse during elementary to highschool just drawing then gave up from the lack of inspiration and other artists to channel it through and had a vibrant social life in college. I recently got back into art and I definitely dont socialize with my irl friends as much anymore. Art is a dedication
this inspired me to get back to working on a creative project i've been procrastinating on for a while. thank you
I resonate so much with Fujino and your thoughts on art making.
I juggle between drawing and painting for my own personal creation, and making pottery as a business of making things to sell.
And I find myself, at times, drawing less and less. Almost like the pottery making is taking all my creative energy.
And sometimes there is a fear that my drawing will never get to the place I want it to. Like I could improve and truly create my ideas accurately, but I no longer make the time for it. There's always that thought of will my drawings get worse? Will they no longer be my main focus of translating my emotions creatively? Will my skill diminish over excessive time not using it?
And I mean, I "draw" on some of my pottery, but it's not the same. It's more simple and less emotionally weighted.
But pottery is also my income. And I'm truly not a very internet savvy person. So selling products online, or art prints, is very beyond me. But sometimes I contemplate doing less pottery, or no pottery, and getting a normal day job to suffer through, just so I can use the free time I have to draw again.
Maybe it's just me, and I can't balance my time/ energy/ creative output.
Just venting here, sorry about that. Your video really touched on alot of points that I've been feeling. Thanks for creating and sharing what you do. ✌️
Competition in art isn’t a me vs you situation. It’s a me vs me. You want to constantly improve and when you look at someone who seems levels above you and you want to be better. You think you suck all of a sudden and now you rush to get better and now it destroys you mentality, your own ego and desperation consuming you. This causes you to lose interest in art, but after a while you pick up the pencil again just for the same process. I’ve been drawing for about my whole life and while I have gotten insanely better I still don’t feel good enough. Every time I draw it’s either learning and applying that knowledge or being dissatisfied with what I’ve drawn.
Remember to tale care of yourself
while you’re learning from every media you consume, remember there is someone on the other side trying to reach you too. Feel the soul of the art, not just the technicalities.
Great video btw, I just recently watched the movie and hell, it’s rough buddy
i did not expect to cry while watching this 🥺🥺
Okay now I’m crying
I Feel the starting again after having not created much for a couple years, my art block as been pretty hard on me and I am working hard to get my mojo back. It's so hard to keep going sometimes because of the amount of energy that it takes to make something sometimes but I am hoping to get back into it where I can create more often and keep chasing my dreams.
This video and the manga story really spoke to my soul. Ive experienced everything you mentioned. Please keep gking and dont give uo in anything you choose to pursue.
i swear kyomotos smile is so cute
Thank you so much for this video, honestly it means a ton. It resonates with me a lot, I remember a few years prior getting made fun of my art and being ridiculed because of my dream of going to art school. I feel like people who don't have as deep of a connection with art do not understand how crushing it feels to be ridiculed when you put pieces of yourself and the things you love in your art. Such a good video, made me cry. Thank you again.
this video has been sitting in my watch later playlist for at least a month. when i finally got to watch it, i didnt even realize "look back" was a manga and not just part of the video's title lmao. i watched it anyway and it was already really good and prompted me to buy look back and read it for myself. and man it was SO GOOD. im an artist too and i agree w many things said in this video ab it. also this video helped me understand the story more so i rly appreciate it :))
i was scared this was a video analysis that doesnt do any analysis whatsoever and just reiterates the plot, but this has defied my expectations. i really love how you wrote about art and everything leading up to art, thank you for talking about look back so beautifully, it made me think about it alot more
I just wanted to say I just finished watching this movie yesterday night and wanted to hear other people’s opinions and deep dives on this story and yours really hit everything so perfectly, you did an amazing job on this and out of all the deep dives I watched, this was my favorite and I felt that the story deeply resonated with you too, thanks for covering this and thanks for creating and being a creator, we’re all in this with fujino
Thank you for the kind words,
I really appreciate it and wish you the best
@@noahmcalister there will be ups and downs, and the road of creativity is paved with failures but it’s the fact that despite it all, at the very end.. we have created something and put it into the world.
Just like you did with this video, you touched the heart of other people, you touched my heart, so keep creating and never stop
thank you for making this video. it feels like you understand the complexities that artist face on the daily. very good analysis.
I've seen this video constantly pop up on my recommended and today I decided I'd watch it, only to realize there was a reason why It kept coming up, I'm very thankful for this video, for some reason although I knew about artists appreciating each other's work no matter the difference in skill level, I always denied and refused to believe anyone would ever truly appreciate or be gravitated to my work, but this made me realize that it is possible, that I should believe in that, I cried several times throughout this video because lately I've been exiting my comfort zone with art, I'm about to make 2 years doing art, and I feel like although I haven't been extremely persistent, that my progress has been extremely good so far, it comes with tons of stress, frustration especially for me because I cannot handle stress and frustration very well, but I've already done some works im very proud of. I cried when I realized and stopped denying that people could possibly love and gravitate towards my art nowadays, because when I first started I felt I was terrible in my AP art class but my classmates still supported me, and I cried when you mentioned how our art can make people happy or make their day yk and it's true, I've created some art works/paintings for my girlfriend, very meaningful pieces that although I wasn't super happy with certain things correlated to my skill level, she absolutely loved them and always shows how grateful she is about them, so thank you again for making this video, I guess this is what it took for me to stop denying that anyone would ever like my art or that it'd ever be impactful to someone
As an artist, this story hit close to home as I was also that jealous person who wanted to be better than someone and I kept drawing and drawing
You’re actually going to make me sob in my math class 🥹
I’m not going into an art career although a small part of me wishes I had but yet I still draw it isn’t the best and my pages never get much attention but knowing that at least one person likes my art makes me happy, doodling my sisters and them actually liking it makes me happy! I love drawing others characters and seeing their reactions I love working on my own personal projects it makes me happy
Thank you this video was absolutely wonderful to listen to :)
This gave me the motivation to keep perusing music thank you!!
When I clicked on the video I didnt expect to end up liking it so much that id even comment, which I never do, yet this really hit home. I am an artist in multipple different ways and still constantly am on the grind to improve and widen my knowledge and experiences, yet I still get those moments when I think -why am I even doing this, why have I let it consume me this much?- and in the end I still keep going because it feels like the right thing for me both in expressing myself and what I want to do. This video reminded me that I'm not the only one experiencing this, that so many people can relate even though it's not the best it's nice knowing that, and we can share the experience and grow from it. (I really hope I'm making sense here since English isn't my first language and my head is a bit of a mess rn)
Beautiful video. I love Look Back (both the movie and the manga), because I feel it is something made by artists and for artists.
Every time I read this manga I cry, every time I think about this manga I cry. Fujimoto is such an inspiration for me honestly, thank you for making this video I liked hearing your perspective and now I’m crying hehe (I’m just a v erm.. tearful person)
music from persona made me jump a lil lol. such a good vid, thank you for creating it.
this made me lock in thank u im so excited for the movie
This really resonated with me. Thanks for making this, I owe it to you to keep making music again.
The video is extremely well made, but oh my god did the story make me cry a little. I'm gonna read that story and also save this video.
I read this one a while back. I remember seeing one interpretation that Kyomoto is supposed to represent the passion of persuing art for art's sake, hence why the relationship ebbs and flows the way it does. I'm not sure if I agree with it, but I thought it was interesting to note. We can't always hope for a painless life by persuing something we think is worthwhile, but having people who can appreciate what we create must surely help, if just a little bit.
It seems we both have the same "I can't switch my brain off when I consume any media" problem! I like to think it makes my experience of things richer, though it's definitely made it seem like I'm experiencing a different reality to others based on other responses people have. Your approach in your videos comes across as very thoughtful, so it shouldn't be surprising that you inspire thoughtful responses in return.
Is the Oscar Wilde quote you were thinking of: "All art is quite useless"?
Yeah, that's definitely an interesting lens to view Kyomoto through. I think there's some truth to that view for sure, but I don't think that's everything. The entire "making art for art's sake" vs "making art for another purpose" thing has always been interesting to me, but honestly, I don't know if you'll ever be fully 100% on either side of the fence, if that makes sense
And thank you, I appreciate the kind thoughts
And yes! I feared putting the quote in the description would cause people to see it and then immediately comment as if the quote was representative of my own views or the video as a whole. Wilde's got some bangers line, though
It makes sense to me - I think that even if we wanted to, being fueled 100% by our own passion is incredibly difficult, because life happens and we can't expect our feelings to carry us all the way. On the other hand, creating only for the sake of others would probably result in something inauthentic.
Yes! And I get that - it's frustrating being misunderstood.
I'm an artist… your words moved me to tears, thank you 🥹 let’s keep pushing our passions as creatives forwards! 😁