@@user-bf3yh6ue7p making art for others is something i struggled with heavily. In the point of view that I needed to prove myself and prove that art was worth making.
I am so glad this ended on my page. I’ve been drawing for over 10 years. And I feel the same way about my art as you do: it feels like I want to want to create art. I remember when I was a kid I would have so much fun drawing anime characters or creating my own OCs. Then I was trying to make stories for them. These days it feels like I am chasing something, except I don’t know what. I want to be better at art, but why? To get more commissions? To get more followers? It makes me so sad because I rarely enjoy what I do and I tend to hate my art a lot now, even though it is so much better technically than what I did as a kid. But back then art was about fun… I hope we both can find that fun again,
Yoooooooo i had the exact (or atleast a very similar) problem. I think it is simply that the "desire to create" fundamentally on a human perspective sense is that you want to create value which is currently "lacking". Look at his story. He felt something was "lacking" from the ending of attack on titan and he simply burned with the fire of using his own emotional blueprint, his own values, likes and dislikes to make them a reality. Then with the years of studying for that goal he lost sight of this simple premise. Im not saying that he should make the attack on titan ending. Maybe he even did. It is about not letting your learning process and improvement become your biggest connection to art. I recently realised that for me personally it simply was a lack of confidence and a need to please others. Please others with my skills, with my abillitys, how impressive the things i do where etc etc. I was never allowing myself to digg truely deep because first i wanted to learn more, more, more. "Just mastering one more concept and then i will start creating what i truely want". A need to proof my worth essentially. The external functionality, the comparisons and the learning became a self feeding machine with got facillitated by the use of social media which robbed me day for day of my enjoyment for art. So how did i crawl back out ? For me it was going back to synchronizing myself with the "lack" in my life. What are the fantasy/value worlds i wanted to create ? What are my true inspirations and not just other artists skills which are impressive and therefore i need to compare myself to them ? I got swept up by the learning, studying, comparing etc etc... If you dont get in touch with what really drives you you simply become an analyst. A machine of fundamentals, understanding and production always chasing the next higher skill level to "provide" with your abillitys. But for what ? For which lack ? What do you REALLY like ? Is it really necessary to gather all these skills and all these aspects if they are in the end only shallow skills which do not even help you achieving what you truely want ? For me the solution was to beeing more discriminatory towards my medium intake. Do i really like these things or am i simply studying these because they are technically impressive and i need to feel save in my abillitys to reproduce ? Was i getting blind to my own emotional resonance ? Allow yourself to start creating what you want. Allow yourself taking your time and feeling out which "lack" which "void" you want to fill with your art. From the most heart shattering painting which flips the human condition on his head in a profound way or simply wanting to draw cute cats. It is all valid and in essence the key to happiness and fulfillment in art. Now for something less abstact and more applicable: Write down your ideas, sort them by value (what they mean to you, what you like, what you dont like) without thinking about EXTERNAL validation. Then execute the selected idea and learn for that. Let your desire to express your own internal blueprint become your reason for improvement. Nothing else. This methode keeps you project and value oriented and does not disconnect your learning from your end goal. This is however fucking scarry. Now you are on. Now the game has started. You are creating now what you truely desire. What you truely want. No more studys, comissions, half baked studys for others or all that jazz. When this stuff looks shit it feels like it is all on you. No more:" Ah thats just a study, im just training, short sketch, WIP hell". No ! Finished, polished art which reflects what you want. What you are. The pressure is on. To fail these drawings which truely mean something to you will feel a billion times more stressfull then studying 1000 books about art fundamentals. But this will keep you happy. Your goal will become once again your driver. This was and is the way for me to reconnect with art. I dont know your struggles exactly and maybe im missing the mark here by a thousand mile but i think it does not hurt to share these insights. Have a nice day and happy drawin :D !
@@flux1940Wow, thank you! I’m sure you absolutely nailed it for a lot of us. Especially when sharing art on social media it’s so easy to get into the trap „doing what others might like“. Loose ones own path … again, thank you!
Not me clicking this video to learn as much about art as I can, only to discovered why I’ve been demotivated and irritated by making my art and now idk what to do next because I’m so burnt out and stuck 😔 lmao
That last comment about making art "not because you want to want to make art, but just doing it", resonated with me a lot. I was an art student fresh out of college and took a gap year because my family and I were moving countries. I loved art. I loved the drawing, the perfection, the idea process and I loved the art block. But I stopped drawing. Life got to me and I completely stopped doing what I loved. Every 6 months I would end up doing one art peice before going back to emptiness and I never knew why. No practices, nothing. But even though I'd move countries often, I would ALWAYS bring my empty sketchbook, with my best pencils. And when I'd move again, I'd take that exact empty book and move once more. Why? Why carry it when you're not even using it? Is it hope? That childlike happiness when you hear the pencil scrape and slide against the paper? I'm not sure. But I love it. Today, I prepped my paper. I outlined a border :D For me, this is a milestone. I always think, rather than to jsut do. It's been eating and eating at my life in other aspects, but. Even having that happiness in what I could do brings joy in knowing that I absolutely can. I jsut shouldn't ever look back. To keep looking at life in the long run, because worrying about it now is getting me nowhere. Thank you for the video, it really helped :)
P.s. I'm always afraid of making mistakes. I mentioned I liked the perfection, but that is a lie. Nothing is and I've jsut accepted it. The prefect is in the impurities of an art piece, which is why I get excited because inherently, there's always meaning in the pieces. That bring me solitude
@@Rose-luna23 SamdoesArt said something similar in his recent video about why he hates his art (lately). He was overly focused on accurately depicting every part of the subject that he was drawing, which ended up creating very rigid pieces that lacked character. I think striving for perfection in art can lead to a lot of negative emotions if you walk the path for too long.
I am a computer engineer. I completely gave up on doing art professionally. I just couldn't see me loving it as a job, with the stress of staying relevant, to be an entrepreneur and market yourself constantly. I also never wanted success or fame. Only dream was to make something that people would discuss a lot. Not me, but my art. And I can totally do that without doing art fulltime. It just takes more time.
As a nonfunctional member of society, I also draw 6 hours a day, desperately trying to get better. I’m going on this same journey and have come across a lot of the same things. I’ve finally started just drawing or painting something if I got the thought in my head to do it, rather than thinking I’m not ready for it, and have to do more studies first. I started learning art because I love it. Then, it became a necessity-the only job I could or would pursue. Now, recently, I just love it again. I fell in love with the challenge of improvement and the simple act of being able to draw whatever I have in my head, regardless of my skill level. This is such a great video. I’ve also been losing my mind for the last two years, and probably longer if I’m being honest. But my obsession with art practically keeps me alive. I can’t wait to see more from you, good luck!
Man it’s good to see I’m not the only one losing my mind in this process😂. I’m 33 and decided I was going to dedicate my life to art 11 months ago. It is definitely a roller coaster. Like you I’m in love with the feeling of improving. I’m really hard on myself and sometimes focus too much on the technical side of things but now I’m trying to improve with subjects that have meaning to me. Just wanted to say we’re here together🫶🏼
Bro the ending... When you talk about your art journey long enough, it ends up being a therapy session. Loved this video. I loved the part about finding value in authenticity and passion. It's a rare thing. I hope you get your mind back bro, unlike Edvard Munch.
damn @22:24 ..."copies are good for learning but when you only do those you forget, you can do more than just a copy. You lose the confidence." been doing so many portrait paintings of reference photos that what i thought ive been chasing the satisfaction was not because i made it, is because i was able to paint it exactly the same as the picture, which is also discouraging at the same time cuz its not something that screams authenticity. Kind of reminds me of how my mother would always say everytime i show her my "art", "why would I need to look at your art if i could just look at a picture?" hurts a lot because it is true. "The discipline of an artist is not to push through when its not fun but rather to find ways to make it fun" I will forever remember that, thank you for making this video. You reminded me of how much I love art in the beginning because it was fun, it made me happy.
the autism part killed me ahaha it's so relatable. Thank you for keeping that last part. I started watching this because I stopped drawing for about 2 years, and I thought it would be a good thing to come back to the basics and study a little bit until I get the will to draw something for myself again, but I ended up gaining insight on my art block too. Reality sucks, man. I wanna go back but don't want to give up being a so-called productive member of society
The part about getting the correct feedback is so true! As someone who went to an art college, teachers can make you hate art and the feedback they give you is often destructive- both to your art and to your mental health. Love your outlook on the learning process!
Man you spoke of nothing but facts. I am in the exact same spot as you. I've been drawing faces my whole life and I am pretty good at capturing accuracy. People mostly praise my works because of the faces I draw. I am fucking terrified of drawing without a reference. It's like walking in the darkness and trying to find your way forward. Since I've started using them I improved a lot but also completely forgot a lot of things. My mind goes completely blank. And it shows in my drawings too. I've been drawing since primary school and now I am about to leave college. And I was stuck in practice cycle for years. I never used colour or ink. I told myself I am not good enough to finish anything and was just grinding portraits and some "fundamentals". But you have to actually finish things to be good at well, finishing things. I am finally trying to use colour this year and even though it looks terrible I am having fun. You've improved a lot in these few years and I hope you find joy in drawing again. Thank you for this video
Im so inspired by this video. i think your brushwork and composition and lighting are gorgeous, but im rooting for you to find passion again!!! i can't tell you how long ive felt the same way you have, i wish you the best
ive been drawing since i was a kid and im still not the best at any of the fundamentals. im nowhere near as technically skilled as i want to be, but this video helped me feel better about just enjoying the process. i really love it
That's relatable. I used to try to imitate what other bigger artists did, going for the same subjects and style as them and that made me so miserable I felt myself slipping into an art block in my first year learning how to draw seriously. It actually took me a day doodling fun little character from imagination like when I was a kid to start to like to draw again. And time and time again I realize how import it is to draw what you love, what you think is fun or interesting. You have to find a fine balance between doing what you really want and doing studies because if you get stuck only drawing stuff you are not interested or boring studies oh boy, there's no fast way to kill your will to make art.
I feel this! I have a problem where I compare myself to others and think “What should I draw that other people will like?” And try to do all this planning and everything, and nothing really comes out on the page. Yet when I just sit in front of my sketchbook with no plans except my pencil, eraser and a podcast, I am able to create work I am so genuinely proud of and love. And those are always the works of art I get told look the best too!
Holy shit I love this video so much, the words “wanting to want to do art” have been my life for the past year. It’s difficult wanting to be better, seeing how far your art needs to grow, and wanting to grow it for the things you want to create. But by the time you’ve gotten there you’ve forgotten how and why you wanted to make those things, how to make something real. Sometimes I get glimpses of passion and a want to work but it’s hard, everything about art is fleeting and impossible to capture twice. Anyway yeah this just resonated with me a lot, thank you for making an honest video about how your art journey has gone, I don’t think I’ve ever heard another artist be so candid about they’re experience
I really like how much time you took pointing out that fun/passion has to be the backbone of art making and sacrificing that for anything is a sure way to lose interest/burn out.
This video made me cry man especially at the end...I relate a lot to what you've said and it's quite similar to my own art journey. Just subbed, I like slower paced videos like this because it's a lot easier to digest tbh, anyways I wish you luck on your journey moving forward!!
“i want to make art that captures the love for beautiful things” love this sentiment. and nothing you did was garbage. don’t be hard on yourself. this video did a lot to inspire me. ty
27:48 Because you see all errors that you don't catch the past few years. It's mean that you improve a lot and understand what you need to focus on next. Art is marathon, not a sprint. And you make great improvement in just 3 years. Keep it !
The ending was real, lol. I’ve drawn for a lot of my life as a hobby and although I’m definitely not as good as I want to be, the main reason I draw is what and when I want. Sometimes I lose myself as well when trying to be better at posing or this or that to be as good as I want to be faster, but it’s hard to enjoy when you don’t even know why your doing something. Definitely subbing, and remember to make videos how you want and your art how you want, because people are here for you and your art- not a copy of something else.
Dude just keep drawing and dont worry if its the right thing or not. As artists we go through phases. Phases of passion, analysis and recovery. You went through a MAJOORRRR phase of passion. Sounds like you're either in a phase of analysis or strongly fighting a recovery phase. I got out of art school last may and although i still make stuff ive given myself a lot of time to recoup after 4 years of making art 20-40 hours a week. A phase of analysis is okay, its alright to focus on fundamentals like a student and maybe not constantly work on passion projects, itll help you in the long run. I think youre doing a good job and a lot of people are seeing valur in your recent work.
Thank you so much for this video, it felt like a hug from someone whose been through struggles and wishes the best for others. I hope you will be able to find the passion you once had again and know that time is in your hands
this video felt like a warm hug, ive been struggling a lot and just,,, ❤❤❤ (side note i feel called out hahah, i used to draw so so much every day every week)
Man, 32:49 could easily belong in an illustrated version of Game of Thrones. The jump in quality after you started drawing skulls and learning proportions+perspective+anatomy is actually crazy. The expression some of your pieces have is insane too, kudos for that. Loved the video, it was very real. I've been drawing for about a month now and i'm just focusing on all the face fundamentals (currently reading Loomis's book) and it's painful lmao. I've never been an artistic person so the motivation for me is the challenge itself, but it's a brutal rite of passage everyone has to go through to create meaningful pieces. This video gave me hope to endure it, otherwise i'm not going to make art that feels authentic to me. Thanks again.
i'm insanely insanely impressed with your progress. usually i just listen to youtube videos on the background but i sat and watched this the whole way through, eyes glued - the changes were gradual, but also stark enough that if i looked away for a minute i'd audibly go 'holy shit' when i glanced back. on the point of passion, one thing that caught my eye was at 28:40 - the metal/chains are SO well-rendered, but you're talking about how you were doing portraits and not really loving it. it’s so clear where your passion actually was! reminded me of earlier in the video when you mentioned that wanting to learn to render swords/armor was a huge breakthrough point for your improvement, and how chasing that passion led you to understand lighting so much better. it all tied into your point about burnout, which i thought was a great thesis of this vid youtube is an art form, but one you're clearly also very good at!!! amazing vid overall, got a sub from me 🫶
Thank you for adding the ending. It resonates with me. And as you siad poplecznicy really care when soul put into it (unlike ai art), that last 3 minutes felt like deep from your heart
And it so true about caring social media, analysing other, stilling their strategies, caring about the views and likes. I wonder how the people who draw the stories for years, how they kept being emerged into the characters and plot, that might be insane focus. I wish you to get back to you initially desired path!
The rant at the end gave me so much insight. As someone who's been drawing to become an artist for 7 years now, I've recently been getting worse, and people don't understand why I say that because my art is still getting better, but my motivation and love for art is so much less. My most creative art was the worst, because it was before I would stress about my techniques and compare my art. I think I realize now what makes the most inspirational artist different isn't the art itself but their meanings and motivations, like you said, their authenticity. This video is amazing, I'm so glad I found it by chance and I really hope to see you reach your goal of giving your art more meaning with the best of luck. Thank you for this video!!
Lesson learned, the "nerdy loser" in us have had all the answers all along. But really, I have also struggled with learning to actually enjoy making art again. it reminds me of a saying I heard that cracking an egg from the outside is destructive but Cracking the shell from the inside is creation. I don't remember it in detail but I think that with this making art for external resons to get better, to make a living and follow trends is more destructive whilst internal reasons like doing it cause you feel like it and are passionate, or you want to make a better ending for a show you like, those types of resons are nurturing your art in a good way.
this is just insanely inspirational, the way i gasped at your improvement! it honestly makes me reflect on my own journey and the fact that i really could’ve been doing more for myself in the year that ive been learning… forcing myself to sit down and do studies made me unmotivated to draw, drawing to post on social media had the same effect, i had cool ideas for projects and illustrations but i was holding myself back because i didn’t feel good enough to do them. but this video brought a bit of light back into my life and i think you should keep up the great work! i also rarely comment on things.. but this video really left a mark for me thankyouu🙌
Thank you for sharing your experience. I had mental problems when I was a teenager. So I tried to drawing everything what’s around me, and not focusing what’s inside me. And I realized how is beautiful world around me. To understand yourself you have to look around. Art is language, and good to know it well. And it’s not about technique. Contemporary art is the key. Sorry for my English
kind of eerie how similar our journey is. ive kinda went through all the same stages lol, I started in august 2021, grinded like 8 hours a day. except I instead focused on spending all 8 hours on 1 drawing lol. then in like 2022 I started focusing fundamentals and then 2023 I feel I created my best work of art and cant seem to top it or get that magic back on any other paintings. and just recently started posting to youtube. still trying to figure out where my journey leads me here though.
Take a look at Araki's story, the author of Jojo's, hes very very analaytical and flips between working on passions and working on the fundamentals and foundational aspects, even if it wasnt exactly what he wanted to think about.
Regarding the ending I *think* that in order to start creating beautiful things you need to find inspiration outside of art. Start thinking more analitycal why do you like things that you like or something idk I've been drawing for 4 years now, I made some nice pieces but after my year 1 I constantly feel like I'm going back to square one with my art learning and I think it's just what being an artist is. btw. even though I've been drawing for longer you still have much more and better artworks than I have haha, I think art is really your thing but maybe you just need a brake? Go somewhere, take vacation, rethink your life/art idk idk
I appreciate it that you shared this video, and improving in art requires discipline more than any other factors. As an artist still learning the fundamentals, I relate to you. I have experienced art block, and doubted my creativity. I beleive that to do creative art, you should learn the fundamentals and apply them. I agree that storytelling requires thinking skills, but so is applying the fundamental knowledge. Instead of dwelling in thinking about your lost passion, try recreating the stories by applying your knowledge. Maybe take a break for a while and get back to drawing. Your mental well-being is important too. You did a great job with the fundamentals, and I wish you good luck in your journey. Hope this helps! :)
This was more entertaining, inspiring and helpfull than i thought when i clicked on it. I just wanted to have something on in the background while eating, now my food is cold. Thank you for making this video and talking so openly about your struggles and how you overcame them. Maybe i need to start painting again *-*
This is one of the realest fucking videos I've ever seen, I greatly admire the vulnerability displayed near the end. Nothing but love and respect and you've given some great insight, rooting for you man
This video got to me in a right time - in the middle of the art fight, when I'm stuck between drawing correctly, drawing a lot and drawing for everyone (as an advertisment for my future sells or something). You are making a good point about the purpose and enjoyment of making art - it's hard to keep going if you don't see why you need to go this far and money is not the right answer for your soul
This video really got a hit on me. Your testimony is quite similar to what I'm living and thinking about pursue... Except I am about two years before you! Maybe you won't find this comment, but just now that you probably changed the way I thought about art. Will keep your video saved for when I need to watch it again. Don't give up! I hope you find your true way again, and don't you dare go hollow!
This video really spoke to me. As a fellow person with autism on her sixth year of art block, I've been beating myself up about how much I could have improved by now if I was drawing consistently. The fact that you improved so much in only 3 years is mind-blowing. The most I ever drew was when I would roleplay with my friends in middle school, creating silly OCs with intertwining stories. Now, I have to force myself to draw and it doesn't come naturally anymore. Your video has inspired me to keep trying to find new ways to make it fun. I was never happier than when I was regularly drawing.
I resonate so hard with this. I used to draw so much when I was younger and obsessed with the characters I had in my head, but now I just feel so much frustration when I force myself to find a reference and draw it, I do it because I want my art to look better and more accurate, but it sucks all of the fun out of it. Its hard to get back into the groove of just creating art that you love and not worrying so much about the technicality of it
Understand the struggle. I was doing alot of comms and was burning out, i didnt particularly enjoy doing most of them, but some of them, when i pushed my boundaries and took on a challenge i was afraid of, i look back at fondly. I took a break from commissions, and am back to doing what i love (alot of fanart) while i am struggling in my personal life. So i just drew what i was feeling, or drew what i wished would happen to help me process it. It feels so good, to just draw whatever i want, post it, and not care about the likes. Its a journey, its all up and down, but pat yourself on the back, you put in the work, and thats something to be proud of, something that takes grit and tears. Hoping you get better days!
I started in 2021 aswell. Looking back at my art I really see progress and it's very inspiring. I understand wanting to want to make art, as a person who recently got a job in the games industry, making characters, I'm afraid of loosing the spark bc of all the corporate "that's not possible" bullshit. I just want to make good art, fun characters, sometimes I forget that and it feels impossible to even start. You're a real one for leaving the last part of the video in.
This resonated with me… I’m 21, been drawing on and off my whole life, mostly just fanart of games and manga. I put a lot of time into developing my shading/details, I had strong fundamentals and construction just due to the long experience. I did a lot of portraits and studies. But I ended up taking a long break from art while I went to college to study music. I didn’t feel bad putting down the pen because it just felt like a hobby I had outgrown. Like I had exhausted all there was to do drawing a face with a pen. As I grew from an aspiring musician into a fledgling producer/composer though, I learned how to love different workflows, how to step back and look at what in my music would actually resonate with people, how to love each little aspect of the nitty gritty… Until huh, I realized I had fallen in love with art all over again. Less of a simple high school sweetheart love and more of a deeply intertwined, complicated adult love. With this new mindset I picked up my pen again and man, it was like I’d never even put it down. I wanted to challenge myself like I did with music and urged myself on to do landscapes instead of portraits, colors instead of B/W, and focus on grander composition/contrast rather than just expression. When I learned how to layer instruments other than guitars I learned how to make a melody into a song, when I started drawing in new styles they went from sketches to paintings. (satchelmulherin.artstation.com for da plug) It feels to me exactly like how you talk about writing stories instead of just drawing. Every landscape I fill the space with makes me want to write ambient music to bring a listener in… very hand in hand with my goal to be a scifi/fantasy composer for film and games. The music inspires what I want to draw which inspires what I want to write which makes this awesome creative feedback loop.
The last segment really touched me, like honestly I've been going through the same problem. I'm in art school and its totally fucked up my mental space when it comes to art. I got so lost in trying to make my art better that I forgot to love my own creations
Your point on being able to spend 6 hours each day for the first year is impressive, but I think there is a misunderstanding in time spent creating art vs time spent studying and applying what you studied. You said someone would take 12 years to have the equivalent time in your first year, but that other person could just focus on improving. Learning figures, perspective, form, etc. There is a balance that needs to be met though. I agree you need to enjoy doing it while also improving all the same like you also mentioned in the video.
i loved the vedio your so inspiring i watched it from beginning to the end i loved every second of it and i loved seeing how you improved at art i hope you all the best and i hope you find your purpose in making art
The ending of that video I feel is so real- reaching a point in art where you’re consumed by the idea of being an artist that you lose focus of the “drawing because I wanted to draw, not because I wanted to want to draw” at the earlier years. We don’t talk about this a lot. That’s really touching how you’ve shared this.
those flowers at 33:22 are gorgeous 😭 also i love your leyendecker(?)-esque ones. the gorgeous pastoral flower fields and timeless clothing and delicate hair. i hope you find your way again and truly draw from imagination! i majored in graphic design due to overlap with hobbies and graduated; took some illustration courses. in terms of technical skill, i was good especially with references, but i had zero imagination. none whatsoever. and i had zero interest in my hobbies in the last years of school. it's back now that i don't work in that field. imagination is a gift. draw what you love.
Thank you for this video. I recently found my mojo to paint again. A friend/mentor asked me why i had fallen off and it was simple. 2020 happened. It was a snowball of unraveling chaos. Losing my corporate job. Relationship. Car. Home. I spent so many years looking to become stable again that I had put something so important to me on the back burner. Now I'm coming back and your video is an inspiration.
wow this is such a beautiful beautiful video. im also autistic doing exactly what you did your second year focusing on allll the different skills (how i ended up on this video) and this was an incredible warning not to get too wrapped up in the technical stuff and keep balance in my life. i just got a scale tattoo to symbolize my love for balance a couple weeks ago i think its the key to this world and this video really really felt like my future self coming back to warn me to have fun with it and focus on that aspect. the way you speak is so similar to the voice inside my head its comforting im so glad you went off that script because i needed to hear that message. youre following your authenticity and being vulnerable and thats an incredible thing, youre SO right about the inherent value if authenticity and i just wanted to leave you a comment thanking your for all of the value its given me today. dont be so hard on yourself clearly youre finding your way and doing what you need to be and your art is absolutely beautiful!!! youre blessed with the skill (and hard work put in) to create this beauty now is the easy and fun part!!! growing the skill of imagination! and i would love to see more videos of the new stories you come up with having all the knowledge you do now. dont hate on the weird version of yourself that used to exist outside of the real world, that is your core and you need to find BALANCE between that person and the person making this video thats come back into the real world and made friends and everything. let them exist in harmony. omg sorry for the dump on your post you just helped me so much i want to do what i can to help you, if this does. just a little encouragement youre doing amazing!!!❤
Chasing that feeling of mastery is addicting, but it only gets you so far. After years of making art, and frequently just for the sake of getting better, I think I need to really take some time to figure out what my art can do for ME.
from an aspiring artist of a little over 2 years, thank you for keeping it real and reminding me to stay true to myself, its a breath of much needed fresh air
I've been drawing for many years now and I do a lot of commissions. But recently, I completely fell flat with burnout. I couldn't do anything, I didnt ejoy anything. I had no ideas. I still don't and I've barely drawn for months. I went as far to thinking I should give up on art, because I couldn't take the emotional turmoil, but I think this video saved me. Though you don't get out of burnout from a single video, the way I think about art changed because of this video I'm very grateful for this video. I've practiced too much, tried to learn too much. Relied on reference too much, especially from someone who never used them in the first place. I've turned into a machine where I can only draw what people tell me to, with no ability to be really creative. Thank you. I'll likely rewatch this video every time I feel this way. This was everything I needed. Thank you, your struggles resonate with artists of all levels, and your progress is phenomenal
im so glad this landed on my recommended. i really needed someone to put my feelings into words, this is such a huge motivation so thank you. I really hope that you figure out how to get past this art block and demotivation since its so sad to see us artists slowly lose love for art.
this video is so authentic and really a breath of fresh air. as someone whos currently struggling with a lot of the same things you are it was really nice to see it reflected here and know that its a common experience, thank you for that
I remember watching a video about ur stories i think like a year ago or somerthing, now you popped in my feed again and im subscribing, cause i relate to you about some things you said. It is hard to just 'go at it' and its so easy to have a safe space to fall back into when you try to get good at art. I too wanted to draw things about our DnD stories and characters and there is so much that i can do, but i guess its easier for me to say 'im just not good enough for that yet'. i need to get better at gesture or i need to get better at anatomy or whatever story that i say to myself and it all leads to: ''just not good enough yet''. But when will we think we are good enough for our dreams? I say just start, and figure it out along the way just like what you did when you were starting out your art journey i guess. I gotta listen to my own words sometimes too. But thanks for being 'real'. We all gotta hear it sometimes, and hope these comments also help you to pursue your passion again bro. Cause i can see that you didn't lose it, its actually really scary when you realise you can actually achieve 'your dreams' and they can become reality, its scary. But as i said, thanks for this video, I see you bro, i hope the best for you.
this video was honestly amazing, in a heartfelt human way, I've been pretty much doing art since i was a kid, did children's art school, graduated art highschool under multimedia degree and i started studying for a bachelors in only art academy which we have my in my country which is a big prestige but it never felt like i belonged there. i looked at my peers and they were all like sooo much better, then as i was to finish my first year my father got cancer so i took a year leave, i told everyone it was because of my fathers cancer but it honestly lowkey was an excuse because i could've continued since i was on a scholarship and my family would've found a way to support me, but i just hated it there, for years I've been asking myself why do i do art if it brings me so much pain and just now recently I've been doing a lot of reflecting and thinking why did i start making art. I just like telling stories, i love storytelling, I've loved storytelling since i was a child as my mother was a librarian and now she freelances time to time doing storytelling events to children, i love stories, that's why i love reading, videogames, movies and art. My first choice to uni would've been outside the country enroll in a creative writing program but i could've never been able to afford it, now that I've taken a leave I've realised i want to go to uni for creative writing or filmmaking, telling stories is what is the most important to me and I've been slowly rediscovering it, I'm having so much more fun with my art after leaving uni and I've become just more confident in myself as a person, i have less free time now then what i had when i was in uni as i had to get a job but somehow I'm making more art and enjoying making art. The sincerity and honesty and the love i saw in your early works makes me want to try again making little comics and stories, rooting for you to find your footing again in making art for fun❤
this kind of inspired me. I have been doing art for that purpose too, make a living, see what others like but it gets depressing not being able to fulfill what others want or what I want. I like making stories too but I can't organize myself to start actually making them. I love when I have a story in my head and make art of that but when I'm trying to get better technically and fail, it actually sucks.
There was so much truth in what you said. I am learning something completely different. But I realised while watching this video that all these things apply to me too. I am learning programming after being an architect for so long. Being authentic to yourself and doing things because you love it is the most important thing.
Fantastic video, dude. You’re showing great insight, honesty, and ability to self-reflect. Most artists (though not all) flirt with madness every now and then, so that’s to be expected. But I do feel that you‘ll be able to handle that and come out stronger. Very much looking forward to your development now that you’re looking into figure drawing and perspective, what you‘ve learned so far looks more than promising! You have a great way of handling the play of light on dresses and skin, if you develop the other fields to a similar extent, you’ll be a beast in no time. Keep it up!
Fantastic video and art, and the authenticity and self doubt at the end earned real respect. I'd say to anyone suffering from that "wanting to want to" do something, be that art or whatever it is - that unfortunately for all of us it's a hurdle in life that nobody seems to talk about. And some people seem immune to it. But you really aren't alone, and its not a fault of your own self discipline or anything like that. Fuck if I know exactly what it is, except a massive burden and source of worry. There really isn't an easy way through it, although I've found a break from whatever it is helps (tough if it's your job, admittedly). Ultimately, finding the joy in a skill you've done a huge amount might come not from practicing that skill to improve and improve - but using the skill like you would any other for something else you like, and reaping the rewards of what you've gained from it. Paint not for the creation of art, but as you say, to tell a story. I struggled with the lack of enthusiasm in my own pursuit of tabletop game design, and found the only way back to enthusiasm was the real desire to play what I'd made - even if I'd half assed bits of it and needed to go back and fix them later. It helped a lot not to want to do everything, but using the skills I'd learned to do what had been difficult and frustrating when I started, quickly and fluidly later on. It gives more appreciation for what you can do, the doing of it, and slowly helps to rebuild (or at least retain) some of the enthusiasm
I hope you never delete this video because it has helped me in a way I cannot comprehend right now. Art was mostly all I did for a long time but ever since I started chasing wanting to be better and even went to a college for it, I got extremely self conscious and lost my interest to the point it’s difficult to lift a pencil now. But your words and some discussions in the comments are helping me with new insights. Thank you.
I genuinely had to stop posting my art on social media in order to love it again. When i make something im proud of and then put it up on some website where a stranger is going to basically look at it for half a second and move on, i start suddenly feeling very insecure about something that originally made me feel excited and happy. Honsetly, if you want to make money iff of your art, you are going to have to put up with tough competition, poor treatment, and burn out. Some people can handle it and others cant. If you simply want to enjoy your art, forget about the audience entirely.
At art school, we had separate steps for tone and color. We made a sketch, printed several copies and drew in different tones. On another copy, tried to draw in colors using tone drawing as base. It's a lot of work, but you can choose what looks better and, at the same time, you learn how tones and colors work.
A great artist sometimes forgets that they are one. You've probably lost sight of yourself because you've lost your path. I think your art is amazing, and I could only dream to be as good as you are. I hope you find your path again, or a new path that will lead you to loving art once more. Art from the heart is the best kind of art, and people will recognize that in time
i relate so much to this, especially the paradoxical situation where i feel like my art has also stagnated or plateaued due to actively trying to get better. I started off as an animator rather than a still frame artist and i could definitely say that my love or passion has lessened or warped. I was incredibly happy making animations of original anime openings or something like that, but the desire to get better paradoxically has made me worse. i absolutely loathe doing most art practices and they actively drain my energy, but when i was a kid and first starting out, messing around and making cool animations was so fun, even if they were kinda bad.
Great video! I was studying about 3rd point perspective and it was vert entertaining to hear, i hope your dream comes true! And your skeleton with a fire sword drawing was really cool!
I used to derive so much joy out of drawing, but I have been art blocked for years. This video really summed up the journey of overwhelm spilling into something much deeper than that. I feel like this video is what a lot of us needed to hear. Thank you for making me realise what art what originally about to me; having fun and staying true to myself as an artist❤
Great video, I relate completely. It seems when you stop just enjoying doing the thing, maybe if some other motivation like job/money becomes the aim, you lose all of the steam and your progress grinds to a halt. This applies in so many things in life.
JUST WOW. I started watching this video thinking I'd learn a few things and it turns out I found the ONE and only one person that could understand how I've been feeling and put it into words. I've been drawing since I was 2 (27 now) and all my drawings from childhood are stories, I remember spending 10 hours a day during the sumer just drawing comics, it was so much fun. I used to draw fun fantasy world stories with lolita dresses. Then I started university and just stopped. I just couldn't draw, I didn't have the time to fill my mind with stories and characters (exactly like you said), I had more responsibilities and didn't have time. However the worst part was, since what I really loved was creating stories, whatever piece I made felt...meaningless, empty and static. So I grew frustrated and unmotivated. The years went by and I started a couple of projects but never continued past the rush of the first chapters, then I felt like I had to keep improving to be able to make justice to those stories I wanted to tell as an adult, stories I felt were better than my teen ones. So I started practicing portraits, shadows, colours and using references (which I never did when I was younger) and eventhough I got better, I feel like I was practicing with my muscles and not my imagination. I just couldn't come up with things anymore as I used to, I couldn't sit and draw if I didn't have a reference... Last year I started a new project and took a break to practice again, it's been a year and the only thing that happened is that I just been drawing less and less. I just wanted to share this because this video made me feel so seen. Wherever you look, it seems like artists have it figured it out, pretty feeds and successful videos, lots of famous webcomics and printed copies, then I just felt like I'm not enough, not good enough, not creative enough. Thank you. I'll try to bring my creativity back, my motivation. Knowing that one person has felt like this makes me feel understood. I'm glad you ended the video like you did. Sorry for writing this much, I'm just really happy I found your video!!!
This really resonates with me. I am sorry you lost your way, but I think you can see at least the first step on the path back. To be the storyteller. I wish all the best, and that you make it
Thank you for showing us this! Theres not many videos showing an artists whole entire learning journey. Its so valuable to have such a well documented learning period.
Dam this is one of the realist videos ive seen spoken from the heart. I someone that DREAMS of having my own piece of fiction out in the world for ppl to read and have discussions like AOT. However i havent created a single piece of art this year and I just mostly live my story in my head and in writing. I have started my youtube journey again afew weeks ago with new video dropping 30mns of this post (not this channel). And like you mentioned in the beginning i was looking at all the popular topics and how bigger youtubers making their vids and quickly learned i was starting to hate it lol. So i quickly decided to just make content i care about and wanna talk about, sure the views will be small and maybe no1 subs right away but something is telling that this the correct route. Im planning on picking up drawing again and this time combine it with video creation as thats its own art form and document my own art journey along with other video ideas i wanna do. I think your conclusion at the end was powerful as i thing thats what reaches ppl in the end and why i enjoy watching the ppl i watch on UA-cam.
Huh... very mind-opening video. I've been learning to make art for 7 years, and want to get better and better at it. I believe that I have a very high knowledge of drawing.... but the phrase “I wanted to want to create art” opened my eyes that I had the same thing in my head for the last 2 years and lost that thing.... thank you for this video.
This video is so real i love the end bit. Im self taught and just doing art as a hobby (ive only been drawing people for like 2 years) so i at first was really jealous of how you were actually studying and talking to a mentor and generally had a rigorous approach bc i just draw fictional characters i really like and occasionally watch yt videos if i want to learn something specific. While i draw around five hours a day and ive improved a ton in faces, anatomy, poses, clothes/folds, and just started not hating my digital work (im mostly a traditional artist but its my goal to be equal in both), but i dont have the discipline to really study things like backgrounds, objects, the technicalities of lighting/rendering, and perspective, and you inspired me to branch out! But more than inspiring me in studying and stuff, youve inspired me to make a story that i love because it can push me out of my comfort zone while making me actually WANT to do so. Thanks for being real and youll get through this rough patch and find something-maybe another story of your own-that inspires you as well ❤(edit: i just saw you made a part 2 and you’re already planning out a story thats awesome!!!)
The best art ever made is not a piece. It's not a painting, an illustration, a "pretty picture". It's a Project. Every artist and especially young aspiring artist need to understand that social media makes making art toxic. It makes you focus on the followers, the likes, the engagement, the attention, the relevance, and worst of all: Sticking out. This is almost the sole reason why so many artists nowadays are OBSESSED with "art style" and in the desperate attempt to find it. "I'm trying to find my art style", or "it is not a mistake, it's just my art style!". We've heard these, we've said these... Because to us, having a unique and noticeable artstyle is how we stick out from the rest. But the issue is that art style is not really how you paint, how you crosshatch, what brushes you use: It's mainly your subject matter. And THIS is the real key to improving and sticking out and making out in social media: Creating compelling subject matter. If all you do is pixar/anime stylized portraits of pretty Pinterest girls, then you are an NPC. If all you do is draw cutesy kawaii doodles, then people will treat it as meaningless doodles. If all you do is fanart, then anything original you do will disappear when you get a following expecting fanart... But if you take those portraits and surround them in a theme... You do a "line" of portraits of certain people, certain looking people, with certain expressions, etc. That's when it trancends the fluff even AI can make. When that kawaii doodle actually makes you laugh and think or feel "relatable!", then it transcends. When that fanart makes the original creators inspired and reach out if they could use your idea in their actual work. When you start thinking the art you do as projects, suddenly your gain not only motivation, but inspiration. You know what to do. You know what to seek and research if you don't. You are not just making "pretty pictures", you are telling stories. And people remember a story. They don't remember your cool artstyle. I was in the same rut as you: I was at a point I struggled to draw from an imagination. I couldn't design from an imagination. Armour looked goofy and weird, I had to use reference, only for me to just copy almost everything. Then came time to shade, and I couldn't be bothered to figure it all out, I'd rather find reference and pick the main elements to copy the lighting. Sure, I was at a point I could paint literally ANY reference photo, no matter how complex, no matter what subject. But that didn't mean anything when I was just wandering. Then I started to write a book. And another. And all these ideas to illustrate some of the pages came to me. And all of the sudden, all of it combined: The reference, the imagination. I tasted something I hadn't tasted in a long time: Efficiency and meaning. Go back to storytelling. Start writing. Art becomes hollow when you lose the storytelling.
I am so glad I watched this video because it made me realize something, I've been drawing for so long and I am not even half of what you were in your first year. I am doing it in traditional, and also I dont spend so much time like you drawing and my consistency was shit 2 years ago (currently it's just better) so I am aware of the diferences, I just cant wrap my head around the fact that I dont even have the fundamentals in my mind already, shapes, simplifciation, figure drawing, values or fucking copying another drawing AT LEAST! 4 years of not so consistent work but they feel like they shouldve done more, i feel like it was a waste of time. But truly if I stop and think, i dont feel like it was in vain, cuz ive been enjoying to draw, in my last 3 sketchbooks I started also drawing silly things, oc's, not just studies or stuff like that, in my current one I am very much enjoying the things I draw! The characters, the steps I took forwards with coloring and values and shapes and stuff like that! I am aware my consistency is directly proportional to my improvement, truly I feel like if I keep and keep going something will improve but sometimes is just hard to make peace with it :,))) I think that after this I will be more consistent but i will more often draw for my enjoyment even if it's not "good" it is genuinely a curse to be si self critical and not give yourself grace
I really loved this video and loved the bit at the end. You gave so many incredible quotes and perfectly captured my love, my fear, my burn out, and my journey through art. I went to Art school and got burnt out and now I'm trying to fall in love with the feeling of making art again and to get better to find a job. But that will never happen that way. I feel so much shame from the number of projects I've never made because i told myself I couldn't make them until I was "ready" or "good enough". You'll get there someday dude, you're so passionate and it comes through so clear. And I hope that our older selves can look back at this moment of who we are and laugh at the idea that are foolish now.
You're reconnecting with the real world, want to capture beauty, acknowledged how messy everything and all of us is, and talked about straying from a true path, a part of the mess you recognize in yourself I'm hitting 40 soon and finally recognized recently that external and internal relationships are also subject to newtons laws of motion. This means that by being so hard on yourself emotionally, you're practically punching yourself in the face Small tangent: this also means that by being hard on others it has a way of hurting yourself in the same way punching someone can mess up your fist if you don't properly reflect on it - every action has an equal and opposite reaction Back on topic: Its ok to be gentle with yourself while recognizing mistakes and learning lessons from them. You're allowed to feel good about every baby step you take in your development. I think this is a part of 'falling in love' with the process. I'm making efforts towards keeping in touch with myself, like a continuous dialogue of paying attention to how ideas, thoughts, and actions I take makes me feel deep down. Maybe something like this can help you see which direction your heart would like to develop your art towards and how to get there?
This is the type of video I needed as an artist. It really does get overwhelming trying to follow the grind, the popular methods of ‘gitting gud’ at art. It’s tiring and I hate that art has become this! It was refreshing to hear you talk about your personal journey and say the most important thing is actually enjoying art. We’re all humans at the end of the day and it’s crazy that harsh critique, self-flagellation and competing with each other is usually the recommended advice to get better. Before clicking on this video, that was the kind of content I was expecting because it’s become so common 😅 so to hear about your mentor, his kindness and encouragement, your passion for creating your story etc was like a breath of fresh air. The part about how focusing on getting better stunted your creativity really resonated with me as I’m stuck at the exact same stage after finishing another year of art school. After taking a break I’m finally trying to draw based on my original interests (silly things like magical girls, anime, mermaids). It would be cool to see more videos of your thoughts as you create a piece and your own return to authenticity. Anyway sorry for the long comment but again, really enjoyed this video :)
Thanks for sharing your journey with us, the internet. The last part was especially relatable to me, since I'm massively burnt out and making art feels like a work burden. I hope you find your way back to your passion, man. Rooting for ya.
I think something I'm trying to get over is the fact I already do want to draw but I have a hard time knowing what. but something that has helped a lot is looking at other art that I already like, but when I look at those art pieces I try not to hunt for ideas too much, at least not my first time looking at it. For example, if I find a new movie that i KNOW i'll probably like, I actually try to turn my brain off a bit my first time watching it, and I try to immerse myself. I feel like this helps give my brain time NOT to think about all the things I "could" be drawing and it gives my brain time to subconsciously soak in ideas. Not everything you look at needs to be this deep introspective monologue, i like looking at art because its fun. I also really like like game development and the same thing applies there. When you develop games its hard not to think about how someone might have programmed something while you're playing the game. But sometimes you can learn more about a game by turning that part of your brain off and having fun. When you start to notice what is fun to you, you'll have a better idea what kind of things you should add to your own games. Its still going to take a lot of planning and learning, but keeping art made by others enjoyable is important to me. In the past I would actively look at art JUST to find things to learn and nothing else, and I feel like that overlooks the main point of art in the first place.
also, weird but related, i try to have a glass of water and a snack close by when I draw. My mental health fluctuates, even on good days, but taking care of your brain is a good way to trick it into enjoying itself. Its one thing to make art that draws from negative emotions and its another to torture yourself for the sake of art. I tend to value my art more when I'm willing to put in the effort to look after myself. That also isn't very easy sometimes, but it does help a lot.
I am just getting back into art after not being able to do art for more than a decade. Trying to keep it for myself but training on the fundamentals. Thank you for being real about it. I think that’s why this video is successful because you’re being genuine. This is more than valuable advice!
Dude that ending hit home I've been struggling with the same shit of wanting to have my art seen but in turn, having it not be genuine to what I want to make. This video is amazing and has inspired me to go back and find the enjoyment in art I had when I started and didn't care about performance. I hope we can find our true path again.
Amazing video - but I kept laughing at the fact that you learned and fell in love with art because you didn’t like the AOT ending 😭😭😭
It's even funnier when you remember that everything in AOT started because of a pig.
@@user-ye1zg1th2ta pig??
Hey sometimes hatred can be the best motivation
That’s what inspired me to start writing! Being a big hater 😭😭💀
I died hearing that. I’m also 3 years in bc I wanted to draw Levi a different ending
lol nothing like the NEED to correct a canon ending to make you learn a new skill... mad respect
Now he must learn animation and correct Berserk 2016
making art for ONLY YOURSELF is the BEST ADVICE I could have ever heard
Yes
nah make art because AOT has a very bad ending
@@tatey9812 💯
Gen curioianwhat else do can you make art for?(from begginners view)
@@user-bf3yh6ue7p making art for others is something i struggled with heavily. In the point of view that I needed to prove myself and prove that art was worth making.
I am so glad this ended on my page. I’ve been drawing for over 10 years. And I feel the same way about my art as you do: it feels like I want to want to create art. I remember when I was a kid I would have so much fun drawing anime characters or creating my own OCs. Then I was trying to make stories for them. These days it feels like I am chasing something, except I don’t know what. I want to be better at art, but why? To get more commissions? To get more followers? It makes me so sad because I rarely enjoy what I do and I tend to hate my art a lot now, even though it is so much better technically than what I did as a kid. But back then art was about fun… I hope we both can find that fun again,
Yoooooooo
i had the exact (or atleast a very similar) problem.
I think it is simply that the "desire to create" fundamentally on a human perspective sense is that you want to create value which is currently "lacking".
Look at his story. He felt something was "lacking" from the ending of attack on titan and he simply burned with the fire of using his own emotional blueprint, his own values, likes and dislikes to make them a reality. Then with the years of studying for that goal he lost sight of this simple premise.
Im not saying that he should make the attack on titan ending. Maybe he even did. It is about not letting your learning process and improvement become your biggest connection to art.
I recently realised that for me personally it simply was a lack of confidence and a need to please others. Please others with my skills, with my abillitys, how impressive the things i do where etc etc. I was never allowing myself to digg truely deep because first i wanted to learn more, more, more. "Just mastering one more concept and then i will start creating what i truely want".
A need to proof my worth essentially.
The external functionality, the comparisons and the learning became a self feeding machine with got facillitated by the use of social media which robbed me day for day of my enjoyment for art.
So how did i crawl back out ?
For me it was going back to synchronizing myself with the "lack" in my life. What are the fantasy/value worlds i wanted to create ? What are my true inspirations and not just
other artists skills which are impressive and therefore i need to compare myself to them ?
I got swept up by the learning, studying, comparing etc etc...
If you dont get in touch with what really drives you you simply become an analyst. A machine of fundamentals, understanding and production always chasing the next
higher skill level to "provide" with your abillitys. But for what ? For which lack ?
What do you REALLY like ? Is it really necessary to gather all these skills and all these aspects if they are in the end only shallow skills which do not even help you achieving what you
truely want ?
For me the solution was to beeing more discriminatory towards my medium intake. Do i really like these things or am i simply studying these because they are technically impressive and i need to feel save in my abillitys to reproduce ?
Was i getting blind to my own emotional resonance ?
Allow yourself to start creating what you want. Allow yourself taking your time and feeling out which "lack" which "void" you want to fill with your art.
From the most heart shattering painting which flips the human condition on his head in a profound way or simply wanting to draw cute cats.
It is all valid and in essence the key to happiness and fulfillment in art.
Now for something less abstact and more applicable:
Write down your ideas, sort them by value (what they mean to you, what you like, what you dont like) without thinking about EXTERNAL validation.
Then execute the selected idea and learn for that. Let your desire to express your own internal blueprint become your reason for improvement. Nothing else.
This methode keeps you project and value oriented and does not disconnect your learning from your end goal.
This is however fucking scarry. Now you are on. Now the game has started. You are creating now what you truely desire.
What you truely want. No more studys, comissions, half baked studys for others or all that jazz. When this stuff looks shit it feels like it is all on you.
No more:" Ah thats just a study, im just training, short sketch, WIP hell". No ! Finished, polished art which reflects what you want. What you are.
The pressure is on.
To fail these drawings which truely mean something to you will feel a billion times more stressfull then studying 1000 books about art fundamentals.
But this will keep you happy. Your goal will become once again your driver.
This was and is the way for me to reconnect with art.
I dont know your struggles exactly and maybe im missing the mark here by a thousand mile but i think it does not hurt to share these insights.
Have a nice day and happy drawin :D !
@@flux1940 thanks for this. it provided insight i didn't know i needed. im literally about to go make that list of ideas!!!
@@mellodotjpeg im glad :D !
@@flux1940Wow, thank you! I’m sure you absolutely nailed it for a lot of us. Especially when sharing art on social media it’s so easy to get into the trap „doing what others might like“. Loose ones own path … again, thank you!
@@cequ :)
Not me clicking this video to learn as much about art as I can, only to discovered why I’ve been demotivated and irritated by making my art and now idk what to do next because I’m so burnt out and stuck 😔 lmao
Same
making art makes me suicidal. not making art too guess I'll die better that way
That last comment about making art "not because you want to want to make art, but just doing it", resonated with me a lot. I was an art student fresh out of college and took a gap year because my family and I were moving countries. I loved art. I loved the drawing, the perfection, the idea process and I loved the art block. But I stopped drawing. Life got to me and I completely stopped doing what I loved. Every 6 months I would end up doing one art peice before going back to emptiness and I never knew why. No practices, nothing. But even though I'd move countries often, I would ALWAYS bring my empty sketchbook, with my best pencils. And when I'd move again, I'd take that exact empty book and move once more. Why? Why carry it when you're not even using it? Is it hope? That childlike happiness when you hear the pencil scrape and slide against the paper? I'm not sure. But I love it. Today, I prepped my paper. I outlined a border :D
For me, this is a milestone. I always think, rather than to jsut do. It's been eating and eating at my life in other aspects, but. Even having that happiness in what I could do brings joy in knowing that I absolutely can. I jsut shouldn't ever look back. To keep looking at life in the long run, because worrying about it now is getting me nowhere.
Thank you for the video, it really helped :)
P.s. I'm always afraid of making mistakes. I mentioned I liked the perfection, but that is a lie. Nothing is and I've jsut accepted it. The prefect is in the impurities of an art piece, which is why I get excited because inherently, there's always meaning in the pieces. That bring me solitude
@@Rose-luna23 SamdoesArt said something similar in his recent video about why he hates his art (lately). He was overly focused on accurately depicting every part of the subject that he was drawing, which ended up creating very rigid pieces that lacked character. I think striving for perfection in art can lead to a lot of negative emotions if you walk the path for too long.
I am a computer engineer. I completely gave up on doing art professionally. I just couldn't see me loving it as a job, with the stress of staying relevant, to be an entrepreneur and market yourself constantly.
I also never wanted success or fame. Only dream was to make something that people would discuss a lot. Not me, but my art. And I can totally do that without doing art fulltime. It just takes more time.
As a nonfunctional member of society, I also draw 6 hours a day, desperately trying to get better.
I’m going on this same journey and have come across a lot of the same things. I’ve finally started just drawing or painting something if I got the thought in my head to do it, rather than thinking I’m not ready for it, and have to do more studies first.
I started learning art because I love it. Then, it became a necessity-the only job I could or would pursue.
Now, recently, I just love it again. I fell in love with the challenge of improvement and the simple act of being able to draw whatever I have in my head, regardless of my skill level.
This is such a great video. I’ve also been losing my mind for the last two years, and probably longer if I’m being honest. But my obsession with art practically keeps me alive.
I can’t wait to see more from you, good luck!
Man it’s good to see I’m not the only one losing my mind in this process😂. I’m 33 and decided I was going to dedicate my life to art 11 months ago. It is definitely a roller coaster. Like you I’m in love with the feeling of improving. I’m really hard on myself and sometimes focus too much on the technical side of things but now I’m trying to improve with subjects that have meaning to me. Just wanted to say we’re here together🫶🏼
Bro the ending... When you talk about your art journey long enough, it ends up being a therapy session. Loved this video. I loved the part about finding value in authenticity and passion. It's a rare thing. I hope you get your mind back bro, unlike Edvard Munch.
10:50 that moustache man right there, is the best joke I've encountered this month 😂.
Oh.... Was that Austrian painter reference... Oh...oh i did not realise that till I read ur comment😅
This sits in top 3 artist jokery
it caught me so off guard lmaooo
damn @22:24 ..."copies are good for learning but when you only do those you forget, you can do more than just a copy. You lose the confidence." been doing so many portrait paintings of reference photos that what i thought ive been chasing the satisfaction was not because i made it, is because i was able to paint it exactly the same as the picture, which is also discouraging at the same time cuz its not something that screams authenticity. Kind of reminds me of how my mother would always say everytime i show her my "art", "why would I need to look at your art if i could just look at a picture?" hurts a lot because it is true.
"The discipline of an artist is not to push through when its not fun but rather to find ways to make it fun" I will forever remember that, thank you for making this video. You reminded me of how much I love art in the beginning because it was fun, it made me happy.
the autism part killed me ahaha it's so relatable. Thank you for keeping that last part. I started watching this because I stopped drawing for about 2 years, and I thought it would be a good thing to come back to the basics and study a little bit until I get the will to draw something for myself again, but I ended up gaining insight on my art block too.
Reality sucks, man. I wanna go back but don't want to give up being a so-called productive member of society
The part about getting the correct feedback is so true! As someone who went to an art college, teachers can make you hate art and the feedback they give you is often destructive- both to your art and to your mental health. Love your outlook on the learning process!
Man you spoke of nothing but facts. I am in the exact same spot as you. I've been drawing faces my whole life and I am pretty good at capturing accuracy. People mostly praise my works because of the faces I draw. I am fucking terrified of drawing without a reference. It's like walking in the darkness and trying to find your way forward. Since I've started using them I improved a lot but also completely forgot a lot of things. My mind goes completely blank. And it shows in my drawings too. I've been drawing since primary school and now I am about to leave college. And I was stuck in practice cycle for years. I never used colour or ink. I told myself I am not good enough to finish anything and was just grinding portraits and some "fundamentals". But you have to actually finish things to be good at well, finishing things. I am finally trying to use colour this year and even though it looks terrible I am having fun. You've improved a lot in these few years and I hope you find joy in drawing again. Thank you for this video
Im so inspired by this video. i think your brushwork and composition and lighting are gorgeous, but im rooting for you to find passion again!!! i can't tell you how long ive felt the same way you have, i wish you the best
ive been drawing since i was a kid and im still not the best at any of the fundamentals. im nowhere near as technically skilled as i want to be, but this video helped me feel better about just enjoying the process. i really love it
That's relatable. I used to try to imitate what other bigger artists did, going for the same subjects and style as them and that made me so miserable I felt myself slipping into an art block in my first year learning how to draw seriously. It actually took me a day doodling fun little character from imagination like when I was a kid to start to like to draw again. And time and time again I realize how import it is to draw what you love, what you think is fun or interesting. You have to find a fine balance between doing what you really want and doing studies because if you get stuck only drawing stuff you are not interested or boring studies oh boy, there's no fast way to kill your will to make art.
I feel this! I have a problem where I compare myself to others and think “What should I draw that other people will like?” And try to do all this planning and everything, and nothing really comes out on the page. Yet when I just sit in front of my sketchbook with no plans except my pencil, eraser and a podcast, I am able to create work I am so genuinely proud of and love. And those are always the works of art I get told look the best too!
hey man this video felt genuine and i enjoyed to hear what you have to say about losing the mind to art it really sound insightful
I miss videos like this that are slower paced and arent heavily edited. Thanks for sharing!
Holy shit I love this video so much, the words “wanting to want to do art” have been my life for the past year. It’s difficult wanting to be better, seeing how far your art needs to grow, and wanting to grow it for the things you want to create. But by the time you’ve gotten there you’ve forgotten how and why you wanted to make those things, how to make something real. Sometimes I get glimpses of passion and a want to work but it’s hard, everything about art is fleeting and impossible to capture twice. Anyway yeah this just resonated with me a lot, thank you for making an honest video about how your art journey has gone, I don’t think I’ve ever heard another artist be so candid about they’re experience
I really like how much time you took pointing out that fun/passion has to be the backbone of art making and sacrificing that for anything is a sure way to lose interest/burn out.
This video made me cry man especially at the end...I relate a lot to what you've said and it's quite similar to my own art journey. Just subbed, I like slower paced videos like this because it's a lot easier to digest tbh, anyways I wish you luck on your journey moving forward!!
🦖raahhh
“i want to make art that captures the love for beautiful things”
love this sentiment. and nothing you did was garbage. don’t be hard on yourself. this video did a lot to inspire me. ty
27:48 Because you see all errors that you don't catch the past few years. It's mean that you improve a lot and understand what you need to focus on next. Art is marathon, not a sprint. And you make great improvement in just 3 years. Keep it !
The ending was real, lol. I’ve drawn for a lot of my life as a hobby and although I’m definitely not as good as I want to be, the main reason I draw is what and when I want. Sometimes I lose myself as well when trying to be better at posing or this or that to be as good as I want to be faster, but it’s hard to enjoy when you don’t even know why your doing something.
Definitely subbing, and remember to make videos how you want and your art how you want, because people are here for you and your art- not a copy of something else.
Dude just keep drawing and dont worry if its the right thing or not. As artists we go through phases. Phases of passion, analysis and recovery. You went through a MAJOORRRR phase of passion. Sounds like you're either in a phase of analysis or strongly fighting a recovery phase. I got out of art school last may and although i still make stuff ive given myself a lot of time to recoup after 4 years of making art 20-40 hours a week. A phase of analysis is okay, its alright to focus on fundamentals like a student and maybe not constantly work on passion projects, itll help you in the long run. I think youre doing a good job and a lot of people are seeing valur in your recent work.
Thank you so much for this video, it felt like a hug from someone whose been through struggles and wishes the best for others. I hope you will be able to find the passion you once had again and know that time is in your hands
this video felt like a warm hug, ive been struggling a lot and just,,, ❤❤❤ (side note i feel called out hahah, i used to draw so so much every day every week)
Man, 32:49 could easily belong in an illustrated version of Game of Thrones. The jump in quality after you started drawing skulls and learning proportions+perspective+anatomy is actually crazy. The expression some of your pieces have is insane too, kudos for that.
Loved the video, it was very real. I've been drawing for about a month now and i'm just focusing on all the face fundamentals (currently reading Loomis's book) and it's painful lmao. I've never been an artistic person so the motivation for me is the challenge itself, but it's a brutal rite of passage everyone has to go through to create meaningful pieces. This video gave me hope to endure it, otherwise i'm not going to make art that feels authentic to me.
Thanks again.
i'm insanely insanely impressed with your progress. usually i just listen to youtube videos on the background but i sat and watched this the whole way through, eyes glued - the changes were gradual, but also stark enough that if i looked away for a minute i'd audibly go 'holy shit' when i glanced back. on the point of passion, one thing that caught my eye was at 28:40 - the metal/chains are SO well-rendered, but you're talking about how you were doing portraits and not really loving it. it’s so clear where your passion actually was! reminded me of earlier in the video when you mentioned that wanting to learn to render swords/armor was a huge breakthrough point for your improvement, and how chasing that passion led you to understand lighting so much better. it all tied into your point about burnout, which i thought was a great thesis of this vid
youtube is an art form, but one you're clearly also very good at!!! amazing vid overall, got a sub from me 🫶
Thank you for adding the ending. It resonates with me. And as you siad poplecznicy really care when soul put into it (unlike ai art), that last 3 minutes felt like deep from your heart
And it so true about caring social media, analysing other, stilling their strategies, caring about the views and likes. I wonder how the people who draw the stories for years, how they kept being emerged into the characters and plot, that might be insane focus. I wish you to get back to you initially desired path!
The rant at the end gave me so much insight. As someone who's been drawing to become an artist for 7 years now, I've recently been getting worse, and people don't understand why I say that because my art is still getting better, but my motivation and love for art is so much less. My most creative art was the worst, because it was before I would stress about my techniques and compare my art. I think I realize now what makes the most inspirational artist different isn't the art itself but their meanings and motivations, like you said, their authenticity. This video is amazing, I'm so glad I found it by chance and I really hope to see you reach your goal of giving your art more meaning with the best of luck. Thank you for this video!!
Lesson learned, the "nerdy loser" in us have had all the answers all along.
But really, I have also struggled with learning to actually enjoy making art again. it reminds me of a saying I heard that cracking an egg from the outside is destructive but Cracking the shell from the inside is creation. I don't remember it in detail but I think that with this making art for external resons to get better, to make a living and follow trends is more destructive whilst internal reasons like doing it cause you feel like it and are passionate, or you want to make a better ending for a show you like, those types of resons are nurturing your art in a good way.
this is just insanely inspirational, the way i gasped at your improvement! it honestly makes me reflect on my own journey and the fact that i really could’ve been doing more for myself in the year that ive been learning…
forcing myself to sit down and do studies made me unmotivated to draw, drawing to post on social media had the same effect, i had cool ideas for projects and illustrations but i was holding myself back because i didn’t feel good enough to do them.
but this video brought a bit of light back into my life and i think you should keep up the great work!
i also rarely comment on things.. but this video really left a mark for me thankyouu🙌
Thank you for sharing your experience. I had mental problems when I was a teenager. So I tried to drawing everything what’s around me, and not focusing what’s inside me. And I realized how is beautiful world around me. To understand yourself you have to look around.
Art is language, and good to know it well. And it’s not about technique. Contemporary art is the key.
Sorry for my English
kind of eerie how similar our journey is. ive kinda went through all the same stages lol, I started in august 2021, grinded like 8 hours a day. except I instead focused on spending all 8 hours on 1 drawing lol. then in like 2022 I started focusing fundamentals and then 2023 I feel I created my best work of art and cant seem to top it or get that magic back on any other paintings. and just recently started posting to youtube. still trying to figure out where my journey leads me here though.
Take a look at Araki's story, the author of Jojo's, hes very very analaytical and flips between working on passions and working on the fundamentals and foundational aspects, even if it wasnt exactly what he wanted to think about.
Regarding the ending I *think* that in order to start creating beautiful things you need to find inspiration outside of art. Start thinking more analitycal why do you like things that you like or something idk
I've been drawing for 4 years now, I made some nice pieces but after my year 1 I constantly feel like I'm going back to square one with my art learning and I think it's just what being an artist is.
btw. even though I've been drawing for longer you still have much more and better artworks than I have haha, I think art is really your thing but maybe you just need a brake? Go somewhere, take vacation, rethink your life/art idk idk
I appreciate it that you shared this video, and improving in art requires discipline more than any other factors. As an artist still learning the fundamentals, I relate to you. I have experienced art block, and doubted my creativity. I beleive that to do creative art, you should learn the fundamentals and apply them. I agree that storytelling requires thinking skills, but so is applying the fundamental knowledge. Instead of dwelling in thinking about your lost passion, try recreating the stories by applying your knowledge. Maybe take a break for a while and get back to drawing. Your mental well-being is important too. You did a great job with the fundamentals, and I wish you good luck in your journey. Hope this helps! :)
you described literally my entire progression
This was more entertaining, inspiring and helpfull than i thought when i clicked on it. I just wanted to have something on in the background while eating, now my food is cold. Thank you for making this video and talking so openly about your struggles and how you overcame them. Maybe i need to start painting again *-*
This is one of the realest fucking videos I've ever seen, I greatly admire the vulnerability displayed near the end. Nothing but love and respect and you've given some great insight, rooting for you man
This video got to me in a right time - in the middle of the art fight, when I'm stuck between drawing correctly, drawing a lot and drawing for everyone (as an advertisment for my future sells or something). You are making a good point about the purpose and enjoyment of making art - it's hard to keep going if you don't see why you need to go this far and money is not the right answer for your soul
this ❤❤
This video really got a hit on me. Your testimony is quite similar to what I'm living and thinking about pursue... Except I am about two years before you!
Maybe you won't find this comment, but just now that you probably changed the way I thought about art.
Will keep your video saved for when I need to watch it again. Don't give up! I hope you find your true way again, and don't you dare go hollow!
This video really spoke to me. As a fellow person with autism on her sixth year of art block, I've been beating myself up about how much I could have improved by now if I was drawing consistently. The fact that you improved so much in only 3 years is mind-blowing.
The most I ever drew was when I would roleplay with my friends in middle school, creating silly OCs with intertwining stories. Now, I have to force myself to draw and it doesn't come naturally anymore.
Your video has inspired me to keep trying to find new ways to make it fun. I was never happier than when I was regularly drawing.
I resonate so hard with this. I used to draw so much when I was younger and obsessed with the characters I had in my head, but now I just feel so much frustration when I force myself to find a reference and draw it, I do it because I want my art to look better and more accurate, but it sucks all of the fun out of it. Its hard to get back into the groove of just creating art that you love and not worrying so much about the technicality of it
dang you nailed all my problems with art in just one video
Understand the struggle. I was doing alot of comms and was burning out, i didnt particularly enjoy doing most of them, but some of them, when i pushed my boundaries and took on a challenge i was afraid of, i look back at fondly. I took a break from commissions, and am back to doing what i love (alot of fanart) while i am struggling in my personal life. So i just drew what i was feeling, or drew what i wished would happen to help me process it. It feels so good, to just draw whatever i want, post it, and not care about the likes. Its a journey, its all up and down, but pat yourself on the back, you put in the work, and thats something to be proud of, something that takes grit and tears. Hoping you get better days!
I started in 2021 aswell. Looking back at my art I really see progress and it's very inspiring. I understand wanting to want to make art, as a person who recently got a job in the games industry, making characters, I'm afraid of loosing the spark bc of all the corporate "that's not possible" bullshit. I just want to make good art, fun characters, sometimes I forget that and it feels impossible to even start. You're a real one for leaving the last part of the video in.
This resonated with me…
I’m 21, been drawing on and off my whole life, mostly just fanart of games and manga. I put a lot of time into developing my shading/details, I had strong fundamentals and construction just due to the long experience. I did a lot of portraits and studies. But I ended up taking a long break from art while I went to college to study music. I didn’t feel bad putting down the pen because it just felt like a hobby I had outgrown. Like I had exhausted all there was to do drawing a face with a pen.
As I grew from an aspiring musician into a fledgling producer/composer though, I learned how to love different workflows, how to step back and look at what in my music would actually resonate with people, how to love each little aspect of the nitty gritty…
Until huh, I realized I had fallen in love with art all over again. Less of a simple high school sweetheart love and more of a deeply intertwined, complicated adult love. With this new mindset I picked up my pen again and man, it was like I’d never even put it down.
I wanted to challenge myself like I did with music and urged myself on to do landscapes instead of portraits, colors instead of B/W, and focus on grander composition/contrast rather than just expression. When I learned how to layer instruments other than guitars I learned how to make a melody into a song, when I started drawing in new styles they went from sketches to paintings.
(satchelmulherin.artstation.com for da plug)
It feels to me exactly like how you talk about writing stories instead of just drawing. Every landscape I fill the space with makes me want to write ambient music to bring a listener in… very hand in hand with my goal to be a scifi/fantasy composer for film and games.
The music inspires what I want to draw which inspires what I want to write which makes this awesome creative feedback loop.
Your so real for hating the ending and using it as inspiration I hated it too 😭
The last segment really touched me, like honestly I've been going through the same problem. I'm in art school and its totally fucked up my mental space when it comes to art. I got so lost in trying to make my art better that I forgot to love my own creations
Your point on being able to spend 6 hours each day for the first year is impressive, but I think there is a misunderstanding in time spent creating art vs time spent studying and applying what you studied. You said someone would take 12 years to have the equivalent time in your first year, but that other person could just focus on improving. Learning figures, perspective, form, etc. There is a balance that needs to be met though. I agree you need to enjoy doing it while also improving all the same like you also mentioned in the video.
i loved the vedio your so inspiring i watched it from beginning to the end i loved every second of it and i loved seeing how you improved at art i hope you all the best and i hope you find your purpose in making art
The ending of that video I feel is so real- reaching a point in art where you’re consumed by the idea of being an artist that you lose focus of the “drawing because I wanted to draw, not because I wanted to want to draw” at the earlier years. We don’t talk about this a lot. That’s really touching how you’ve shared this.
those flowers at 33:22 are gorgeous 😭 also i love your leyendecker(?)-esque ones. the gorgeous pastoral flower fields and timeless clothing and delicate hair.
i hope you find your way again and truly draw from imagination! i majored in graphic design due to overlap with hobbies and graduated; took some illustration courses. in terms of technical skill, i was good especially with references, but i had zero imagination. none whatsoever. and i had zero interest in my hobbies in the last years of school. it's back now that i don't work in that field.
imagination is a gift. draw what you love.
Thank you for this video. I recently found my mojo to paint again. A friend/mentor asked me why i had fallen off and it was simple. 2020 happened. It was a snowball of unraveling chaos. Losing my corporate job. Relationship. Car. Home. I spent so many years looking to become stable again that I had put something so important to me on the back burner. Now I'm coming back and your video is an inspiration.
wow this is such a beautiful beautiful video. im also autistic doing exactly what you did your second year focusing on allll the different skills (how i ended up on this video) and this was an incredible warning not to get too wrapped up in the technical stuff and keep balance in my life. i just got a scale tattoo to symbolize my love for balance a couple weeks ago i think its the key to this world and this video really really felt like my future self coming back to warn me to have fun with it and focus on that aspect. the way you speak is so similar to the voice inside my head its comforting im so glad you went off that script because i needed to hear that message. youre following your authenticity and being vulnerable and thats an incredible thing, youre SO right about the inherent value if authenticity and i just wanted to leave you a comment thanking your for all of the value its given me today. dont be so hard on yourself clearly youre finding your way and doing what you need to be and your art is absolutely beautiful!!! youre blessed with the skill (and hard work put in) to create this beauty now is the easy and fun part!!! growing the skill of imagination! and i would love to see more videos of the new stories you come up with having all the knowledge you do now. dont hate on the weird version of yourself that used to exist outside of the real world, that is your core and you need to find BALANCE between that person and the person making this video thats come back into the real world and made friends and everything. let them exist in harmony. omg sorry for the dump on your post you just helped me so much i want to do what i can to help you, if this does. just a little encouragement youre doing amazing!!!❤
Can u shut up? Goddamn typing essays for no reason
Chasing that feeling of mastery is addicting, but it only gets you so far. After years of making art, and frequently just for the sake of getting better, I think I need to really take some time to figure out what my art can do for ME.
from an aspiring artist of a little over 2 years, thank you for keeping it real and reminding me to stay true to myself, its a breath of much needed fresh air
I've been drawing for many years now and I do a lot of commissions. But recently, I completely fell flat with burnout. I couldn't do anything, I didnt ejoy anything. I had no ideas. I still don't and I've barely drawn for months. I went as far to thinking I should give up on art, because I couldn't take the emotional turmoil, but I think this video saved me. Though you don't get out of burnout from a single video, the way I think about art changed because of this video
I'm very grateful for this video. I've practiced too much, tried to learn too much. Relied on reference too much, especially from someone who never used them in the first place. I've turned into a machine where I can only draw what people tell me to, with no ability to be really creative.
Thank you. I'll likely rewatch this video every time I feel this way. This was everything I needed. Thank you, your struggles resonate with artists of all levels, and your progress is phenomenal
Bro the part in the end where you went off script was the best part. I'm very glad you've kept it in
im so glad this landed on my recommended. i really needed someone to put my feelings into words, this is such a huge motivation so thank you. I really hope that you figure out how to get past this art block and demotivation since its so sad to see us artists slowly lose love for art.
This is one of the best videos I’ve ever seen about making art.
this video is so authentic and really a breath of fresh air. as someone whos currently struggling with a lot of the same things you are it was really nice to see it reflected here and know that its a common experience, thank you for that
I remember watching a video about ur stories i think like a year ago or somerthing, now you popped in my feed again and im subscribing, cause i relate to you about some things you said. It is hard to just 'go at it' and its so easy to have a safe space to fall back into when you try to get good at art. I too wanted to draw things about our DnD stories and characters and there is so much that i can do, but i guess its easier for me to say 'im just not good enough for that yet'. i need to get better at gesture or i need to get better at anatomy or whatever story that i say to myself and it all leads to: ''just not good enough yet''. But when will we think we are good enough for our dreams? I say just start, and figure it out along the way just like what you did when you were starting out your art journey i guess. I gotta listen to my own words sometimes too. But thanks for being 'real'. We all gotta hear it sometimes, and hope these comments also help you to pursue your passion again bro. Cause i can see that you didn't lose it, its actually really scary when you realise you can actually achieve 'your dreams' and they can become reality, its scary. But as i said, thanks for this video, I see you bro, i hope the best for you.
this video was honestly amazing, in a heartfelt human way, I've been pretty much doing art since i was a kid, did children's art school, graduated art highschool under multimedia degree and i started studying for a bachelors in only art academy which we have my in my country which is a big prestige but it never felt like i belonged there. i looked at my peers and they were all like sooo much better, then as i was to finish my first year my father got cancer so i took a year leave, i told everyone it was because of my fathers cancer but it honestly lowkey was an excuse because i could've continued since i was on a scholarship and my family would've found a way to support me, but i just hated it there, for years I've been asking myself why do i do art if it brings me so much pain and just now recently I've been doing a lot of reflecting and thinking why did i start making art. I just like telling stories, i love storytelling, I've loved storytelling since i was a child as my mother was a librarian and now she freelances time to time doing storytelling events to children, i love stories, that's why i love reading, videogames, movies and art. My first choice to uni would've been outside the country enroll in a creative writing program but i could've never been able to afford it, now that I've taken a leave I've realised i want to go to uni for creative writing or filmmaking, telling stories is what is the most important to me and I've been slowly rediscovering it, I'm having so much more fun with my art after leaving uni and I've become just more confident in myself as a person, i have less free time now then what i had when i was in uni as i had to get a job but somehow I'm making more art and enjoying making art.
The sincerity and honesty and the love i saw in your early works makes me want to try again making little comics and stories, rooting for you to find your footing again in making art for fun❤
this kind of inspired me. I have been doing art for that purpose too, make a living, see what others like but it gets depressing not being able to fulfill what others want or what I want. I like making stories too but I can't organize myself to start actually making them. I love when I have a story in my head and make art of that but when I'm trying to get better technically and fail, it actually sucks.
23:35 bro you touch me so hard in the heart here
I needed to hear it. Thank you so much
this is absolutely brilliant video. it really healed me in some way. thank you so much for it
There was so much truth in what you said. I am learning something completely different. But I realised while watching this video that all these things apply to me too. I am learning programming after being an architect for so long. Being authentic to yourself and doing things because you love it is the most important thing.
Fantastic video, dude. You’re showing great insight, honesty, and ability to self-reflect. Most artists (though not all) flirt with madness every now and then, so that’s to be expected. But I do feel that you‘ll be able to handle that and come out stronger.
Very much looking forward to your development now that you’re looking into figure drawing and perspective, what you‘ve learned so far looks more than promising! You have a great way of handling the play of light on dresses and skin, if you develop the other fields to a similar extent, you’ll be a beast in no time. Keep it up!
Fantastic video and art, and the authenticity and self doubt at the end earned real respect.
I'd say to anyone suffering from that "wanting to want to" do something, be that art or whatever it is - that unfortunately for all of us it's a hurdle in life that nobody seems to talk about. And some people seem immune to it. But you really aren't alone, and its not a fault of your own self discipline or anything like that. Fuck if I know exactly what it is, except a massive burden and source of worry. There really isn't an easy way through it, although I've found a break from whatever it is helps (tough if it's your job, admittedly).
Ultimately, finding the joy in a skill you've done a huge amount might come not from practicing that skill to improve and improve - but using the skill like you would any other for something else you like, and reaping the rewards of what you've gained from it. Paint not for the creation of art, but as you say, to tell a story.
I struggled with the lack of enthusiasm in my own pursuit of tabletop game design, and found the only way back to enthusiasm was the real desire to play what I'd made - even if I'd half assed bits of it and needed to go back and fix them later. It helped a lot not to want to do everything, but using the skills I'd learned to do what had been difficult and frustrating when I started, quickly and fluidly later on. It gives more appreciation for what you can do, the doing of it, and slowly helps to rebuild (or at least retain) some of the enthusiasm
I hope you never delete this video because it has helped me in a way I cannot comprehend right now. Art was mostly all I did for a long time but ever since I started chasing wanting to be better and even went to a college for it, I got extremely self conscious and lost my interest to the point it’s difficult to lift a pencil now. But your words and some discussions in the comments are helping me with new insights. Thank you.
I genuinely had to stop posting my art on social media in order to love it again. When i make something im proud of and then put it up on some website where a stranger is going to basically look at it for half a second and move on, i start suddenly feeling very insecure about something that originally made me feel excited and happy. Honsetly, if you want to make money iff of your art, you are going to have to put up with tough competition, poor treatment, and burn out. Some people can handle it and others cant. If you simply want to enjoy your art, forget about the audience entirely.
At art school, we had separate steps for tone and color. We made a sketch, printed several copies and drew in different tones. On another copy, tried to draw in colors using tone drawing as base. It's a lot of work, but you can choose what looks better and, at the same time, you learn how tones and colors work.
A great artist sometimes forgets that they are one. You've probably lost sight of yourself because you've lost your path. I think your art is amazing, and I could only dream to be as good as you are. I hope you find your path again, or a new path that will lead you to loving art once more. Art from the heart is the best kind of art, and people will recognize that in time
the way you described burnout was sooo eye-opening and simple. you've also provided an easy solution. thank you ❤
i relate so much to this, especially the paradoxical situation where i feel like my art has also stagnated or plateaued due to actively trying to get better. I started off as an animator rather than a still frame artist and i could definitely say that my love or passion has lessened or warped. I was incredibly happy making animations of original anime openings or something like that, but the desire to get better paradoxically has made me worse. i absolutely loathe doing most art practices and they actively drain my energy, but when i was a kid and first starting out, messing around and making cool animations was so fun, even if they were kinda bad.
Great video! I was studying about 3rd point perspective and it was vert entertaining to hear, i hope your dream comes true! And your skeleton with a fire sword drawing was really cool!
I used to derive so much joy out of drawing, but I have been art blocked for years. This video really summed up the journey of overwhelm spilling into something much deeper than that. I feel like this video is what a lot of us needed to hear. Thank you for making me realise what art what originally about to me; having fun and staying true to myself as an artist❤
relatable stuff man… especially the last portion of the video
Great video, I relate completely. It seems when you stop just enjoying doing the thing, maybe if some other motivation like job/money becomes the aim, you lose all of the steam and your progress grinds to a halt. This applies in so many things in life.
JUST WOW. I started watching this video thinking I'd learn a few things and it turns out I found the ONE and only one person that could understand how I've been feeling and put it into words. I've been drawing since I was 2 (27 now) and all my drawings from childhood are stories, I remember spending 10 hours a day during the sumer just drawing comics, it was so much fun. I used to draw fun fantasy world stories with lolita dresses. Then I started university and just stopped. I just couldn't draw, I didn't have the time to fill my mind with stories and characters (exactly like you said), I had more responsibilities and didn't have time. However the worst part was, since what I really loved was creating stories, whatever piece I made felt...meaningless, empty and static. So I grew frustrated and unmotivated. The years went by and I started a couple of projects but never continued past the rush of the first chapters, then I felt like I had to keep improving to be able to make justice to those stories I wanted to tell as an adult, stories I felt were better than my teen ones. So I started practicing portraits, shadows, colours and using references (which I never did when I was younger) and eventhough I got better, I feel like I was practicing with my muscles and not my imagination. I just couldn't come up with things anymore as I used to, I couldn't sit and draw if I didn't have a reference... Last year I started a new project and took a break to practice again, it's been a year and the only thing that happened is that I just been drawing less and less. I just wanted to share this because this video made me feel so seen. Wherever you look, it seems like artists have it figured it out, pretty feeds and successful videos, lots of famous webcomics and printed copies, then I just felt like I'm not enough, not good enough, not creative enough. Thank you. I'll try to bring my creativity back, my motivation. Knowing that one person has felt like this makes me feel understood. I'm glad you ended the video like you did. Sorry for writing this much, I'm just really happy I found your video!!!
32:00 that happened to me as well and i couldn't revive the passion i had before such a strange thing.
This really resonates with me. I am sorry you lost your way, but I think you can see at least the first step on the path back. To be the storyteller. I wish all the best, and that you make it
Thank you for showing us this! Theres not many videos showing an artists whole entire learning journey. Its so valuable to have such a well documented learning period.
Man I'm loving this video. And THANK YOU, from the depths of my heart, for keeping it real ❤
Dam this is one of the realist videos ive seen spoken from the heart. I someone that DREAMS of having my own piece of fiction out in the world for ppl to read and have discussions like AOT. However i havent created a single piece of art this year and I just mostly live my story in my head and in writing. I have started my youtube journey again afew weeks ago with new video dropping 30mns of this post (not this channel). And like you mentioned in the beginning i was looking at all the popular topics and how bigger youtubers making their vids and quickly learned i was starting to hate it lol. So i quickly decided to just make content i care about and wanna talk about, sure the views will be small and maybe no1 subs right away but something is telling that this the correct route. Im planning on picking up drawing again and this time combine it with video creation as thats its own art form and document my own art journey along with other video ideas i wanna do. I think your conclusion at the end was powerful as i thing thats what reaches ppl in the end and why i enjoy watching the ppl i watch on UA-cam.
Huh... very mind-opening video. I've been learning to make art for 7 years, and want to get better and better at it. I believe that I have a very high knowledge of drawing.... but the phrase “I wanted to want to create art” opened my eyes that I had the same thing in my head for the last 2 years and lost that thing.... thank you for this video.
This video is so real i love the end bit. Im self taught and just doing art as a hobby (ive only been drawing people for like 2 years) so i at first was really jealous of how you were actually studying and talking to a mentor and generally had a rigorous approach bc i just draw fictional characters i really like and occasionally watch yt videos if i want to learn something specific. While i draw around five hours a day and ive improved a ton in faces, anatomy, poses, clothes/folds, and just started not hating my digital work (im mostly a traditional artist but its my goal to be equal in both), but i dont have the discipline to really study things like backgrounds, objects, the technicalities of lighting/rendering, and perspective, and you inspired me to branch out! But more than inspiring me in studying and stuff, youve inspired me to make a story that i love because it can push me out of my comfort zone while making me actually WANT to do so. Thanks for being real and youll get through this rough patch and find something-maybe another story of your own-that inspires you as well ❤(edit: i just saw you made a part 2 and you’re already planning out a story thats awesome!!!)
losing your mind and questioning what you're even doing and wanting to want to create is actually an art fundamental so good job keep going!
The best art ever made is not a piece. It's not a painting, an illustration, a "pretty picture". It's a Project.
Every artist and especially young aspiring artist need to understand that social media makes making art toxic. It makes you focus on the followers, the likes, the engagement, the attention, the relevance, and worst of all: Sticking out. This is almost the sole reason why so many artists nowadays are OBSESSED with "art style" and in the desperate attempt to find it. "I'm trying to find my art style", or "it is not a mistake, it's just my art style!". We've heard these, we've said these... Because to us, having a unique and noticeable artstyle is how we stick out from the rest. But the issue is that art style is not really how you paint, how you crosshatch, what brushes you use:
It's mainly your subject matter.
And THIS is the real key to improving and sticking out and making out in social media: Creating compelling subject matter. If all you do is pixar/anime stylized portraits of pretty Pinterest girls, then you are an NPC. If all you do is draw cutesy kawaii doodles, then people will treat it as meaningless doodles. If all you do is fanart, then anything original you do will disappear when you get a following expecting fanart...
But if you take those portraits and surround them in a theme... You do a "line" of portraits of certain people, certain looking people, with certain expressions, etc. That's when it trancends the fluff even AI can make. When that kawaii doodle actually makes you laugh and think or feel "relatable!", then it transcends. When that fanart makes the original creators inspired and reach out if they could use your idea in their actual work.
When you start thinking the art you do as projects, suddenly your gain not only motivation, but inspiration. You know what to do. You know what to seek and research if you don't. You are not just making "pretty pictures", you are telling stories. And people remember a story. They don't remember your cool artstyle.
I was in the same rut as you: I was at a point I struggled to draw from an imagination. I couldn't design from an imagination. Armour looked goofy and weird, I had to use reference, only for me to just copy almost everything. Then came time to shade, and I couldn't be bothered to figure it all out, I'd rather find reference and pick the main elements to copy the lighting. Sure, I was at a point I could paint literally ANY reference photo, no matter how complex, no matter what subject. But that didn't mean anything when I was just wandering.
Then I started to write a book. And another. And all these ideas to illustrate some of the pages came to me. And all of the sudden, all of it combined: The reference, the imagination. I tasted something I hadn't tasted in a long time: Efficiency and meaning.
Go back to storytelling. Start writing. Art becomes hollow when you lose the storytelling.
I am so glad I watched this video because it made me realize something, I've been drawing for so long and I am not even half of what you were in your first year.
I am doing it in traditional, and also I dont spend so much time like you drawing and my consistency was shit 2 years ago (currently it's just better) so I am aware of the diferences, I just cant wrap my head around the fact that I dont even have the fundamentals in my mind already, shapes, simplifciation, figure drawing, values or fucking copying another drawing AT LEAST!
4 years of not so consistent work but they feel like they shouldve done more, i feel like it was a waste of time.
But truly if I stop and think, i dont feel like it was in vain, cuz ive been enjoying to draw, in my last 3 sketchbooks I started also drawing silly things, oc's, not just studies or stuff like that, in my current one I am very much enjoying the things I draw! The characters, the steps I took forwards with coloring and values and shapes and stuff like that!
I am aware my consistency is directly proportional to my improvement, truly I feel like if I keep and keep going something will improve but sometimes is just hard to make peace with it :,)))
I think that after this I will be more consistent but i will more often draw for my enjoyment even if it's not "good" it is genuinely a curse to be si self critical and not give yourself grace
Rootin' for you, man! Hope you'll do what you love. I like your art.
I really loved this video and loved the bit at the end. You gave so many incredible quotes and perfectly captured my love, my fear, my burn out, and my journey through art. I went to Art school and got burnt out and now I'm trying to fall in love with the feeling of making art again and to get better to find a job. But that will never happen that way. I feel so much shame from the number of projects I've never made because i told myself I couldn't make them until I was "ready" or "good enough".
You'll get there someday dude, you're so passionate and it comes through so clear. And I hope that our older selves can look back at this moment of who we are and laugh at the idea that are foolish now.
the last 3-5 minutes hit me in the right places mentally and im glad you kept it in
You're reconnecting with the real world, want to capture beauty, acknowledged how messy everything and all of us is, and talked about straying from a true path, a part of the mess you recognize in yourself
I'm hitting 40 soon and finally recognized recently that external and internal relationships are also subject to newtons laws of motion. This means that by being so hard on yourself emotionally, you're practically punching yourself in the face
Small tangent: this also means that by being hard on others it has a way of hurting yourself in the same way punching someone can mess up your fist if you don't properly reflect on it - every action has an equal and opposite reaction
Back on topic: Its ok to be gentle with yourself while recognizing mistakes and learning lessons from them. You're allowed to feel good about every baby step you take in your development. I think this is a part of 'falling in love' with the process. I'm making efforts towards keeping in touch with myself, like a continuous dialogue of paying attention to how ideas, thoughts, and actions I take makes me feel deep down. Maybe something like this can help you see which direction your heart would like to develop your art towards and how to get there?
This is the type of video I needed as an artist. It really does get overwhelming trying to follow the grind, the popular methods of ‘gitting gud’ at art. It’s tiring and I hate that art has become this! It was refreshing to hear you talk about your personal journey and say the most important thing is actually enjoying art. We’re all humans at the end of the day and it’s crazy that harsh critique, self-flagellation and competing with each other is usually the recommended advice to get better. Before clicking on this video, that was the kind of content I was expecting because it’s become so common 😅 so to hear about your mentor, his kindness and encouragement, your passion for creating your story etc was like a breath of fresh air.
The part about how focusing on getting better stunted your creativity really resonated with me as I’m stuck at the exact same stage after finishing another year of art school. After taking a break I’m finally trying to draw based on my original interests (silly things like magical girls, anime, mermaids). It would be cool to see more videos of your thoughts as you create a piece and your own return to authenticity. Anyway sorry for the long comment but again, really enjoyed this video :)
Thanks for sharing your journey with us, the internet. The last part was especially relatable to me, since I'm massively burnt out and making art feels like a work burden. I hope you find your way back to your passion, man. Rooting for ya.
I think something I'm trying to get over is the fact I already do want to draw but I have a hard time knowing what. but something that has helped a lot is looking at other art that I already like, but when I look at those art pieces I try not to hunt for ideas too much, at least not my first time looking at it. For example, if I find a new movie that i KNOW i'll probably like, I actually try to turn my brain off a bit my first time watching it, and I try to immerse myself. I feel like this helps give my brain time NOT to think about all the things I "could" be drawing and it gives my brain time to subconsciously soak in ideas. Not everything you look at needs to be this deep introspective monologue, i like looking at art because its fun.
I also really like like game development and the same thing applies there. When you develop games its hard not to think about how someone might have programmed something while you're playing the game. But sometimes you can learn more about a game by turning that part of your brain off and having fun. When you start to notice what is fun to you, you'll have a better idea what kind of things you should add to your own games. Its still going to take a lot of planning and learning, but keeping art made by others enjoyable is important to me. In the past I would actively look at art JUST to find things to learn and nothing else, and I feel like that overlooks the main point of art in the first place.
also, weird but related, i try to have a glass of water and a snack close by when I draw. My mental health fluctuates, even on good days, but taking care of your brain is a good way to trick it into enjoying itself. Its one thing to make art that draws from negative emotions and its another to torture yourself for the sake of art. I tend to value my art more when I'm willing to put in the effort to look after myself. That also isn't very easy sometimes, but it does help a lot.
I am just getting back into art after not being able to do art for more than a decade. Trying to keep it for myself but training on the fundamentals. Thank you for being real about it. I think that’s why this video is successful because you’re being genuine. This is more than valuable advice!
Dude that ending hit home I've been struggling with the same shit of wanting to have my art seen but in turn, having it not be genuine to what I want to make. This video is amazing and has inspired me to go back and find the enjoyment in art I had when I started and didn't care about performance. I hope we can find our true path again.