World Leading Psychologist: How to Master Your Emotions & Deal With Negative People
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- Опубліковано 31 лип 2024
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Today, you’re getting a masterclass in how to manage your emotions and deal with people who cannot tolerate their own.
Whether you find yourself constantly annoyed, frustrated, or angry…
Or if you’re sick of dealing with people who can’t handle their own emotions…
This episode is for you. You’ll learn powerful, practical, and science-backed skills to master your emotions so that you can stay calm when you’re stressed, be fearless under pressure, and reach your potential.
Dr. Susan David is here to share her best advice with you. Dr. David is an award-winning Harvard medical school psychologist and bestselling author who has been studying emotions, happiness, and achievement for over 20 years.
She is here to explain how your thoughts and feelings directly affect your actions, careers, relationships, happiness, and health - and exactly what to do about it.
Dr Susan David’s website: www.susandavid.com/
For more resources related to today’s episode, click here for the podcast episode page: www.melrobbins.com/podcasts/e...
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I’m just your friend. I am not a licensed therapist, and this podcast is NOT intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional. Got it? Good. I’ll see you in the next episode.
00:00:00: Intro
00:03:39: Are you feeling more emotional recently? This might be why…
00:06:58: Dr. David shares an experience where her emotions got the best of her.
00:10:53: Use the one tool to ground yourself and regulate your emotions.
00:17:34: Dr. David answers listener questions about how to manage emotions.
00:24:16: Practical strategies to use when you’re feeling hooked on a certain emotion.
00:31:19: Two common reactions to difficult emotions and how to properly cope.
00:39:56: These are the emotions behind passive-aggressive behavior.
00:47:26: Practice these skills to find the deeper meaning behind other's behaviors.
00:52:25: If you’re struggling to process your emotions, listen to this advice.
00:58:25: Why wishing away your emotions is a “dead person’s goal.”
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This is a great Video. This brings back painful memories which i have been enduring. My relationship of 5 years ended 3 months ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her.
I am sorry about what you have been through. I have been through something similar and was almost depressed, till I contacted a spiritual counsellor who helped me get my ex back and hence my life back
Interesting. Who is this counsellor, and how do I meet the person?
Online, you'll find shelly renee white, revered for her expertise as a spiritual counsellor. She has the ability to reunite couples and promote holistic well-being
Thanks a lot. I just did. Impressive.
Waiit, is this bots?
I also interviewed a licensed therapist and she mentioned how meditation, breath work, and journaling are so key for managing your emotions on a daily basis.
Taking 15 mins a day for yourself can make the world of difference!
People are more rude too and don’t do any common courtesy like bringing cognizant that someone is waiting
No consideration for other people or their time
It is frustrating
@@gaylaaustin7468 I definitely see this and agree.
I agree, although I usually guide people in "mindfulness" vs meditation because I find people more open to this, especially for the novice.
Wow , at 17, I've been navigating the ups and downs of teen relationships. Dealing with anxiety and self-sabotage has been a constant struggle, often causing me to derail my interactions due to negative thought patterns or beliefs that my friends don't need me. However, learning Mel's happiness hack about assuming positive intent in relationships has been a game-changer for me. It's helping me approach relationships with a new perspective, one that's more open and understanding. Here's to growth and better connections ahead!
Love that Mel can communicate across age groups ❤ you are on the path to a wonderful life being you and self aware of your challenges!!
I wish I'd had this kind of insight at 17. You'll go far! ❤
Very well written. You are very mature at 17.
@@kathleencummings7545 Just what I was going to say. Extremely well written for a teenager. I wish my 16 year old could write half as well.
Hearing Dr. Davis say: "I have a flipping PhD in this stuff and I did the one thing that you're not allowed to do..." just made my day. It helps me to be less judgemental about myself when I feel emotions that I don't like to feel.
Thank you so very much for this. I really needed this. ❤
There is so much value in treating ourselves with grace and self-compassion in all that we feel. It's this that helps us to live into ourselves and our potential. I'm so glad to hear this was helpful.
She's like the Mary Poppins of Psychology. I love it. ❤
I love this! 😍Thank you for listening.
@susandavid_phd Thank you for sharing your knowledge and fabulous energy. I look forward to reading your book.
21:50 Thus is what sadness feels like...allow them to feel it. Help them be with uncomfortable emotions
22:44 don't judge it....feel it...move forward.❤💔❤️
Oh Mel, last week I had a breakdown and this is is exactly what I needed, thank you so much, you do a wonderful job! Thank you for you help!
I just completed my first ketamine session last night and the intention I set was to be more in control of my emotions and the way others emotions affect me. I journaled about emotional control and resilience afterwards. This video couldn't have come at a better time. Feels like more than a coincidence it came out this morning. 🎉
Sending you love during this part of your journey. It's so good to hear that this came at the right time for you.
@susandavid_phd thank you so much! Your insight on this subject is appreciated. 💖
😢
❤ Thanks for this podcast, Mel !!! I thought it was just me or my journey with pre menopause. I needed to hear this, and I am so grateful for you and your guest ❤️
Nothing is ever too late ❤never!
Thanks Mel. I needed this big time! Thank you for showing me in a practical way on how to bring more compassion into my relationships. I see how anger can be a front for someone feeling hurt. Now, I have more tools to respond versus react to tough situations. I also LOVED: 'Courage is fear walking'. This statement gives me the impetus to move forward even with challenges in my path. Big hug to you Mel & Dr Davis!!!!!🖐🙏💜
Thank you for listening, and it means so much to hear this was helpful to you.
I’m so glad I can see my favorite two ladies talking to each other💖 so relatable and helpful!
Thank you for listening and sharing that it was helpful!
I got a lot out of this, but the statement that was most profound was that - it’s hard to human right now - it makes me feel like I’m not alone and also is something I can tell myself when times are tough to help me make it through. Thanks, Mel!
Thank you for sharing that resonated! You are not alone ❤
I truly love and admire Dr David and have been following her when I can.
Thank you for listening and sharing that this work is resonating.
The other day I heard my neighbor, a mother, yelling at her young daughter who was crying, and they were "in the vortex of the two of them struggling," as Dr. David described. I thought to myself, this learned dynamic at home in childhood will be repeated in the daughter's life over and over again with her friends, boy/girl friends, teachers, co-workers, bosses, partners, spouse unless she learns how to regulate her emotions (self soothe) and communicate effectively.
Yes everyone is impatient, and raged about everything. Road rage - fighting, greedy. Don't view the News before going to bed. This lady sounds like "Belinda" the good witch, from the "Wizard of OZ" . Amazing.
Wow, I really needed to hear this.
Thanks Mel! 🤗❤️
I am glad I have a chance to listen to you ❤
Thank you for listening.
Such a great interview Mel! I appreciate how you give your guests a chance to shine and share what they know. Other hosts that take on an "all-knowing" role often end up ruining their own interviews. "Discomfort is the price of admission to a meaningful life" is golden advice
This is my first time seeing the lady being interviewed and I love love her. Thank you Mel ❤❤
Hi! Thank you for watching! ❤
Thank you, this was incredibly helpful!
Mel- great interview. Interesting subject. We're all going through it.❤
Hey Mel!! ❤ I’d love to see the video versions of your episodes available on Spotify too 🙏
Loved this! Was REALLY wondering from Dr. Susan David what happened when that professor used her concept as the book title -- what did she do when he stole her idea???
One of your best yet! More Susan please!
Thank you for watching and for your kind words, Wendy!
Amazing show thank you Mel✨
Applause for Mel Robbins! She brought out the best in Susan David (I am a massive fan). I don't think I could have dealt with my anxiety without her support, which came through the book "Emotional Agility." Kudos to her! Fantastic work. God bless you, ma'am!
Love your podcasts, Mel!
The guests you bring on your channel change lives. Thanks for all your work and contributions to the society. This is another great video. Thanks again 🙏🙏
Amazing & inspiring podcast as always.. love Mel & Dr David ❤️ ❤
Thank you for listening!
So good!!! Nailed it! Thank you!
❤ - Thank you for listening. I loved the conversation.
I learnt new things 😊
So glad it connected with you!
I have been on the receiving end of someone who felt overwhelmed by my sharing of my struggles. This person gave me unsolicited advice when all I wanted was to hold space for me. In hindsight, this person felt uncomfortable with their own feelings by listening to my struggles and tried to fix me in order to relieve themselves of discomfort.
While this person acknowledged my needs and set boundaries, they didn't express empathy. I was met with, "I've given you all the tools you need. I'm not responsible for your situation. Don't you have someone else to talk to?" I felt invalidated, but I accepted the fact that this person didn't have the bandwidth to empathize with me and decided that I would no longer be in an unreciprocal relationship with them.
This is beautiful. Thank you 🙏 ❤
oh wow love this episode, Mel it's time for a world tour starting in sunny South Africa please 🇿🇦
This is very helpful.
"Emotions are data, not directives."
So glad it connected with you!
Thank you!
So important for us ALL!!
Thank you for your support. These are foundational skills that impact every aspect of our lives. ❤
Thank you Mel!
Thank you Dr. David!
For me this was ONE of the BEST timeliest IMPORTANT- (I mean like right up there with OXYGEN!!!
A WELL LIVED LIFE is about learning effective compassionate NAVIGATION…of OURSELVES.❤️
Thank you SO SO VERY MUCH.👏🏻💪🏻✌🏻❤️☮️
✨💫
Love
Thank you so much for listening and sharing what resonated. ❤
@@susandavid_phd 🦄❤️
Me gusta escuchar a Mel compartir sus historias, me parece tan genuina y real. ¡Gracias por compartir!
Great! Took notes!
So glad it was helpful.
@@susandavid_phd I forwarded it to a friend of mine. We were having discussions on his relationship that had an emotional content. He is a very head person and hope he finds a germ of useful advice. I found 3 pages worth!
Thank you for this. I lost my dad three weeks ago 😢. It has been a difficult time for me 😔
Thanks for the video! I had several melt downs at works!🤦♀️ worst feeling not to be able to control my self!😒
Great conversation
So glad it resonated!
More thanks dear share with us such meaningful topics and pls try to shorten the minutes of video greeting from Somalia
Welcome from Nepal ma'ams
Amazing
Thank you for listening.
Brilliant ❤
People need to both quit stressing out so much and screwing with others.
Would alleviate both things with one stone..
I heard the accent and immediately knew that's a fellow South African 🙂
She looks like an older version of Emma Stone.
Same here, especially at 09:10😂 after "ja" ❤ I wonder how many other South Africans on here 😊
Another South African here😊 Also immediately knew she just has to be from SA.
Yes! A fellow South African by way of Wits (and Australia). So good to see lots of South Africans here.
That's so wonderful Susan! Loved the podcast! #proudlysouthafrican
DR David, with that accent you have to be a fellow South African, thank you for reminding me that anger is ok, its not the anger that is the problem but what you do with it. And Mel,, you don't know it yet but one day in the not to distant future I am going to be a guest on your podcast.
I am absolutely a fellow South African, and regards being a guest, I want that for you too. ❤
@@susandavid_phd You can leave South Africa but it never leaves you. Thank you for flying the flag and thank you, I promise you will see me on this podcast one day.
Ok I agree with the need to stop the cycle of those 49:27 kinds of interactions with friends but how do you get the other person to also agree to have a good convo? My experience has been I try to have these conversations but they are not at the level to do that yet! Makes it worst sometime
I’ve had the same experience. In fact my last relationship ended bc I over-reacted to a very immature and hurtful thing my BF did. He had no ability to communicate openly, clearly and to have difficult conversations. I reached out to suggest that we sit down and at least have a conversation and while he agreed initially he then ghosted me! After 4.5 months of dating & sharing a great deal of ourselves with each other. 🤦🏻♀️ oh well.
Totally relatable Mel…I can’t handle grocery shopping like I used to lol turns out I have no patience anymore so Instacart 🤣🤣🤣
Same, lol.
On the relationship question: it’s none of your business-
Vit B1 depletion
It's the responsibility of parents and caregivers to co-regulate with their children, to be emotionally attuned, and to model active listening, not reacting, and communicating effectively. I often hear people say, "We weren't taught in school how to regulate our emotions, develop emotional literacy, how to communicate effectively". I respectfully disagree that it's the duty of our school systems to teach us three of THE most important skills we need to live a functional life and form secure relationships. These are skills that must be taught at home and practiced over and over until we acquire them to navigate the world with others.
Great topic and information. I found the guest to be a bit obnoxious when she talked over Mel and referenced her PhD repeatedly.
Let her talk Mel
Who else thought this was going to be a parody with Julie Nolke on guest appearance?
Türkçe alt yazınız yok 😢eklermisiniz ?
23:58 wise...capable...beautiful...in the quiet of ourselves.
❤ I loved this podcast. It helped to open my mind to be more aware of the deeper feelings someone is experiancing, instead of becoming confused about the real issues someone may be facing , then frustrated and finally reactive. Emotions are extremely complicated and it could seem impossible to navigate. I currently feel the struggle of being surrounded by negativity at work, at home, and with family. It is crippling and emotionally draining.😢
Mel, I love your work, however, I'm stopping this video at minute 10: 11 to write this comment because I'm saying to myself, what the freak? You just interrupted your guest right smack in the middle of her story--which I was very curious to hear what happened next--to go on a long rant about yourself and how you relate, and other dissecting mode of whatever that I stopped listening to. And I'm going to go back to the video and fast forward it until the doctor is permitted to speak again. And if she's not able to finish her story, I'm not watching the rest of the podcast.
I recently watched you on "Diary of a CEO." I love watching his podcasts because he's one of the few who rarely interrupts his guests in mid sentence. It takes a lot of skill to do that, but it makes for such a higher quality experience for the listener. Thank you for everything you do-- you're very much still appreciated for your great work. 🙏
PS. I did forward and your guest wasn't allowed to finish her story, therefore I'm out. I think your guests should have considerably more speaking time than you. It should be about an 80/20 split.
I think Mel uses these as her therapy. Not insulting her as I’d be the same interrupting but she’s does use it selfishly
You're right about Stephen, he does listen well, but I like Mel's approach in a different way.. She usually interrupts right where I want her to, and asks what I want to ask. My problem here, was that it seemed meandering, and it couldn't carry my interest until the end.
😢
❤❤
“In the peace of night when we are lying in bed.. (you are) capable, wise, centered…” yeah… is that what it is like to not have adhd? !!
❤
Thank you for listening!
I would like less theory and more life examples. I'm very stoked to see the yellow lights again.
I thought the theory was helpful, and the guest's examples were good.
Ohmahgawd are you guys listening to the discussion or or are you just being the example or everything she’s saying not to do?
🇿🇦🇿🇦🇿🇦🇿🇦❤❤❤
❤🇿🇦
It’s 5Gee. It’s making everyone and even animals more aggressive. Frequencies are constantly being intensified.
I called my.husband to BETCH!!!😂😂😂
🤣
Mel was different in this show. Less positively involved and ended the talk suddenly with less highlights and less conclusions during the discussion.
Lmao 😂 Unhinged 😂😂😂😂😂
omg….Mel. lol
Love your podcasts Mel, and adore you, but she really said nothing of significance.
The intros are too long. Get to the meat quicker because the teasing isn’t effective for whatever reason. Or tease the topic matter more effectively. Better writing?
I'm less concerned about buildup for an episode and more frustrated with the basic mom analogies. Mad at the grocery store? In this election year of 2024? Okay, Mel.
Podcast need to be seen when free or while doing some chores…
I totally agree
It got right to the essence...no meat for me!
Then, just forward it. Skip the intro. Problem solved.
Ugh, you interrupted her while she was talking about her story..
She always does that! She's such an attention whore.
She does it all the time, Always bringing everything back to her, giving her own examples. I think she means well, wants to share , create rapport with her audience but yes, she interrupts her guests and it’s a shame
Lucky there are so many more gems to discover - you'll find your info somewhere else, might take a bit of extra rabbit hole diving but hey, any discomfort you're feeling missing info is just par for the course of you doing the work to fill any gaps or feelings of backstory FOMO - have fun!
OH-M-GODESS ITS HER FREAKING PODCAST - shes 💯unreal & being herself. Complaining iis probs just underlying frustration, good luck learning to accept things quickly 🤞🤞🤞🤞
@@claudiabTV I didn’t ask for your opinion?
Talking about all these different scenarios.......but not really helpful on how to deal with them when on the receiving end.........
Am I really missing something here😢
Why does she keep keep using the word hustle in the wrong contacts that’s not what hustle means
,
Hustle has different meanings in different countries. Hope that helps
In the wrong context
And you use contacts in the wrong context @alexis
@@darnitthelma4247 no honey I just have a job so while I’m working I use voice to text whatever way my phone spells it put it in is how it does it I don’t go back in and check it because like I said I have a job you should try working
I want to watch the video and learn but oh my god I never been annoyed of a woman voice this much I had to stop the video
Mel needs to learn how let the guests talk!
As much as I love her, this wants me to stop watching 😭
Mel-You interrupted her story. Not only that, you’re talking to her like YOU’RE the guest and expert instead of her. Disappointing. And you droned on and on.
Sadly .. didn’t like this one .. rare I don’t enjoy a Mel podcast
Mel’s blank stare and fake smile as she tunes out, smiling and nodding like a late-night talk show host - her attention span is clearly taxed - before she latches on to something familiar and wraps things up…😊
Love Mel's shows. This is a very interesting, helpful, powerfully uplifting breakdown on mastering our very human emotional reactions - to minimise the impact of bottling (suppressing), brooding (stuck in emotions/thoughts) stress, panic, sadness, anxiety, (fill the gap) etc - by replacing the "human hustle" aka the whirlwind of feelings spinning in a downward spiral towards depression or other rock bottoms - by allowing space to notice & accept them.💯💋 ua-cam.com/video/KsNqnurfP5A/v-deo.htmlsi=nqrXATHuy5Y7bnyw ❤️❤️❤️
All good but bonus re why we learnt to people-please etc @50mins x 💕 In a nutshell - it stems from a discomfort... with being with discomfort!!! "These are the skills of the future - to go beyond the surface reactivity and be with emotional discomfort - as that's where we learn the skills to help us get thru, talk, discuss, release stuff that's keeping us stuck or slowing us down or distracting us -- so we can move more easily towards what we want, and owning our values in relationships too."
"Trying to control situations - actually paradoxically makes us weaker. Instead try to be with WHAT IS, without judgement, with kindness and patience (for yourself and others!) ❤️
💯⭐ THIS IS THE MOTHER OF ALL QUOTES - AMAZING REARRANGING OF HOW WE'VE BEEN TAUGHT AND THOUGHT THE WAY TO "FIX" TOXIC FEELINGS WAS TO ESCAPE, DISMISS, MINIMISE FEELING SHIZ... BUT THATS THE WORK THAT GETS US THRU THE FIRE🔥🔥🔥👩🚒 AKA...
💥"DISCOMFORT IS THE PRICE OF ADMISSION TO A MEANINGFUL LIFE - AND THESE EMOTIONAL AGILITY SKILLS ARE THE SKILLS THAT ENABLE US TO NAVIGATE THESE DIFFICULT EMOTIONS... TO CONNECT WITH WHO WE WANT TO BE, HAVE THE COURAGE TO BE WHAT WE WANT TO BE - WHICH ALLOWS US TO MOVE TOWARDS THE LIFE WE REALLY DESIRE."💥
- MAGIC!!!! 💗 @60 MINS
Can you stop depressing ppl with the housing affordability commercials everywhere.
Your Psychologist yeah???
Thank you!