They'll lie to you then make you feel guilty. They'll meet someone you've fallen out with, who they've previously had no relationship with and will pretend to be Santa himself
My covert narc FIL would buy us extremely lavish gifts and then use them to berate us for how we could never afford them ourselves and how much we needed him. And of course there was always a favor he would need later. He would get angry if we didn’t give him ideas for expensive gifts and refuse to give us any ideas for himself so he could sulk when we didn’t get what he wanted. Everybody had to know that he was the one that spent so much on us. He didn’t go all out with decorations like you said because he liked to play the victim. Our last Christmas with him he spent a lot on my husband and got me a gift card to a place he knew I disliked and some socks. I know that it’s because I had started setting boundaries with him and calling out his bad behavior. I got really excited about the socks and went on and on about how they were exactly the kind I needed and he was visibly upset. I guess my joy foiled his revenge plan 🤷🏼♀️😂
@@taleandclawrock2606 My response was actually genuine cause they were a type of socks I needed. I didn’t realize he was trying to slight me until I saw how mad he was at my happiness. I was still a little blind to his games. But thank you for the compliment!
They are grinches for sure. My mom is a covert. They are the worst because they are insidiously fake and toxic. An outright narcissist can be easily spotted and avoided.
I went no contact with my malignant narcissistic mother after moving away a year and a half ago. I recently moved back to my hometown after spending this time away. I ended up spending Christmas Eve and Day with my sibblings. My mom came as well to Christmas Eve dinner and my sister said my mom was happy I came because she had been crying since I said I wanted to cut ties. My mom said she missed me and loved me. Then, on Christmas Day, my mom gave me and my sister a Christmas card. Mine was a simple card she signed. When my sister opened hers, it had a check inside. My sister said, "Wow. This is really nice of you. I really needed this and it's incredibly generous of you. I have tears in my eyes." It was clear it was a hefty check, and when her kid asked what it was, she said, "nothing, just a nice gift from Grandma." It broke my heart, as my mom used this to stab me in the heart, and intentionally make me feel hurt by the disparaging treatment toward me. And, clearly, my sister knew I didn't get anything, or she would openly say what she got. They are all against me, when I would never treat anyone like that. It only reminded me that I have no family, or anyone who would even care if I needed help, got sick or died. My heart is broken. I know I should know better, but I just have a difficult time truly accepting my own family actually wants to harm me, even hates me. It's just contrary to nature.
This story is so familiar to so many people that it might surprise you. The cruelty in narcissistic families knows no bounds and sometimes you wonder how in a short space of time they can quickly find a window of opportunity to hurt you. They truly are evil creatures who are always plotting to inflict harm, they have a million ways to cause damage at any given moment.
thx for helping me understand my experience growing up in a Narcissistic family and coming to grips with the damage done to myself during my childhood .... thx god i ending up with the treatable version of this disorder ... SLDD peace ROSS :)
My ex would go out and preach and then come home and berate me. Using the scriptures saying that I wasn’t a submissive wife and if I dare spoke up for myself, he’d say I was a Jezebel Thankfully I’m free now!!
I was with the same kind of person. He went to the monastery and wanted to become a priest. To this day he is praying and preaching in front of people. Always using „God“ for his favor. Always says it’s HIS God 🫣. One time if I said a doubt into the believe of prayer the biblical way as my grandmother did, he ended up being physical. „In the name of God.“ Amen.
I had once a neighbour of this kind. I felt always that this person tried to steal my life and personality. They are very distructiv and I needed a long time to recover.
A younger woman did this to my mom, although having Cancer, became my dad's mistress, began shopping where my mom would purchase her apparel, and went so far as having her hair done at the same salon. I feel a fair number of younger women who have no life does this...
Watch them get out of their vehicle. They look around to see who may be looking at them as though they are royalty. Expecting all eyes to turn to them. Gives me a chuckle every time. *Excellent video* ty..
This really hurt my feelings and made me worried I’m a narc, because I’m the same getting out of a car. Then I realised what was actually going on with me is called “social anxiety” and “paranoia” 😂
Thank you, thank you, thank you so so very much! This is my favorite Christmas gift so far! Everything you share is so valuable and life-changing. so far in the last few months, I’ve been able to let go of all my narcissistic so-called friends, and have gained a few “friendly friends”,highly functioning people in recovery from narcissistic injury as close friends. We are having a grand old time of it! Life is fun once again.😁happy happy🤗joy joy😇
It was Christmas day 2020 that somehow unravelled my fathers covert narcissism and everyone saw his mini meltdown for about 5 seconds...all at the same time, and some of us for the first time -ever. Nothing has been the same since that day...I realized pretty much my entire life has been a lie...ha ha and I was far more psychologically wounded than I ever imagined, yet at the same time- relieved to know that everything actually wasnt my fault and it hasn't been only 'me' the ho ho whole time. Yay adoption. 'Observe not absorb', I really like that. Fail satan. ;)
Everything that’s conning ist dark!! And darkness gets all light out of anything. If there is more than 3 times conning don’t trust anymore. So get your light secured!
Most Accurate Portrayal ever! The idea that they’re just the drunken disruptive in-law or controlling my way or the highway matriarch is just not always the case.
My covert narc father..... victim stance all his life..... lost all romantic relationships.... His home is not nicely decorated.... He doesnt bother to do that cause he considers this to be women's work. Im sure he whines and complains to others that I his daughter dont decorate his home for Christmas now. I used to years ago, back when I was 25, single, no real responsibliities besided going to work. So he plays the victim role of being alone and foists himself on my brother who still gives into the emotional manipulation. So now my sisterinlaw who seems to have signs of BPD and/or ADHD is now the target of abusive verbal language from my father. I dont see it but she complains to me about it. Psycho situations!
My ex alcoholic narcissist was like the Gringe who stole Christmas. Mean and spiteful. The only thing he liked was to cook so that everyone would praise him for cooking. A narcissist wants adoration and they will find a way to get it. No joke. I can write a book about my ex over Xmas.
Yep. He had money for charcoal and wood for his ham, and left me to do everything else, then would complain the rest of the food wasn't as good as his ham and didn't get anyone else a present. Like come on dude. I could make wonderful mashed potatoes if it were the only thing I had to worry about making too. Lol.
I call that a special occasion narcissists and other friends would call those opportunist and not in a good way because they seem to try to hit hard when it's the holidays, graduations, your birthday or a special event. Be coming out to soak up the attention while making it seem that nobody likes you. I don't associate with those types because of how nasty they are especially on the holidays. We have a handful of those in the family where they tend to flock together via telephone where they seem to be dropping like flies due to how toxic they are as they tend to focus more on their nasty habits or stressing out when they lose control of something
The first Christmas after the divorce, my ex took my teenage daughters on an expensive trip to NYC. His gift to me (from them) that year was a hand drawn street portrait of my daughters. I am a portrait artist...
I'm happy with simple present but you don't spend same on them it gets nasty . Over top presents .even you don't have the money . I rather have a nice calm Xmas nice food good company .where's spirit Xmas gone ? It don't feel same no more .become competition but it one im not playing. Really fed up with fakes .i rather have Xmas on own.sure lonely unless your into the cults type people .merry Xmas everyone
And there is always conditions to their giving. I took one covert with me to donate to a homeless shelter I was going to. I asked the covert not to wear all their diamond rings. They wouldn't but instead flashed the rings to the homeless when I pulled up to the loading dock. I asked please take those off, it sends a bad message, they still refused. My truck got all scratched up on the passenger side the covert and their flashy rings were sitting at. Heck, I didn't blame the person who scratched it up. The covert will not be going back to tge homeless shelter again. Their vanity and ego is pathetic and toxic.
Or they’ll put it out there on social media what they want or need & then people fall for it. I found myself falling for this, someone I haven’t been crazy about. They dropped a message of how they didn’t know how they would be able to get presents for their kids… posted pics of toys they can’t afford this year. Our church took up a generous collection for the kids. Then you see where they’re using the money for themselves.
Hate these sicky people .makes me puke.fake people .they put lights up all outside over the top to out do everyone.have a brand new car with a bow on their drive for Xmas .it really stands out.they have pikes of food sweets.thegreed . Briming with look at me I'm really generous .
If you feel pressure to give something back … it not only feels wrong, but is wrong. Just don’t . she gave a gift to you , say thank you and merry Christmas and that’s just ok. Or write it down on a card where you scribble a little Christmas tree on , or something else if this makes you feel better…. It’s about you! to feel better
I do not know any Christmas narcissists, though I have been abused by my narcissistic mother during the holiday. She once to unplug my Wii Nunchucks from the main, which I responded by stretching it to pull it off from the Wii remote. My narc mother then said, "break them and I will f**k you up!" I tried pulling it some more and she lastly told to go to bed, which I did.
My late husband's death (just over 2 years ago) was due to several and varied actions of a covert narcissist! He's 'religious' and even sometimes preaches in his church. Watching videos about this evil 'condition' is helping me recover. I don't agree with your 'take' on people who are lavish with decor and clothing on holidays. Even if it's a 'thing' there's no comparison to a narcissist who causes great emotional and even physical harm! 'Wish you'd skipped this part of the video!
Covert Narc☻️😶🌫️ has so many customs depending on what they want to prove: The🐑 little lamb The Santa🎄🎅 The heroes🦸🏽♂️🦸🏼♀️ The seedstar ✨️ The perfect match 😎😌
You lost me about the tattoo part. Most people who get tattoos dont give a f about attention. Maybe face tattoos. Even that though is often just for self expression. Same with clothing. Its self expression/ creativity
Mine got tattoos with crosses, Biblical verses just as he described with interpreting the Bible in narcissisic ways. I also believe he got Biblical oriented tattoos to attract church women. He also tells people he's autistic when he isn't.
Our Holiday Sale is live! 🎁
Use code SLRI40 to save 40% on your entire order at SelfLoveRecovery.com!
I can’t be the only one watching this on Christmas.
… no, you’re not the only one … ❤
They'll lie to you then make you feel guilty. They'll meet someone you've fallen out with, who they've previously had no relationship with and will pretend to be Santa himself
@2btrue2u that's so shocking! I'm sorry
My covert narc FIL would buy us extremely lavish gifts and then use them to berate us for how we could never afford them ourselves and how much we needed him. And of course there was always a favor he would need later. He would get angry if we didn’t give him ideas for expensive gifts and refuse to give us any ideas for himself so he could sulk when we didn’t get what he wanted. Everybody had to know that he was the one that spent so much on us. He didn’t go all out with decorations like you said because he liked to play the victim. Our last Christmas with him he spent a lot on my husband and got me a gift card to a place he knew I disliked and some socks. I know that it’s because I had started setting boundaries with him and calling out his bad behavior. I got really excited about the socks and went on and on about how they were exactly the kind I needed and he was visibly upset. I guess my joy foiled his revenge plan 🤷🏼♀️😂
😂❤ Well played!!
😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅
@@taleandclawrock2606 My response was actually genuine cause they were a type of socks I needed. I didn’t realize he was trying to slight me until I saw how mad he was at my happiness. I was still a little blind to his games. But thank you for the compliment!
It’s great to post the first of I’m sure of many comments.
You had me at “ Christmas Narcissists”
I was legally married to this wolf in sheeps clothing. A full out Coward
They are grinches for sure. My mom is a covert. They are the worst because they are insidiously fake and toxic. An outright narcissist can be easily spotted and avoided.
On 12/24/24, the narcissist told me for the zillionth time they are going to file for a divorce. This was the BEST 🎁 in decades!!
Yes the covert ones are very festive. That’s my family. It’s fun but fake and treacherous if I try to assert a boundary. I’m staying away. Still hard.
I went no contact with my malignant narcissistic mother after moving away a year and a half ago. I recently moved back to my hometown after spending this time away. I ended up spending Christmas Eve and Day with my sibblings. My mom came as well to Christmas Eve dinner and my sister said my mom was happy I came because she had been crying since I said I wanted to cut ties. My mom said she missed me and loved me. Then, on Christmas Day, my mom gave me and my sister a Christmas card. Mine was a simple card she signed. When my sister opened hers, it had a check inside. My sister said, "Wow. This is really nice of you. I really needed this and it's incredibly generous of you. I have tears in my eyes." It was clear it was a hefty check, and when her kid asked what it was, she said, "nothing, just a nice gift from Grandma." It broke my heart, as my mom used this to stab me in the heart, and intentionally make me feel hurt by the disparaging treatment toward me. And, clearly, my sister knew I didn't get anything, or she would openly say what she got. They are all against me, when I would never treat anyone like that. It only reminded me that I have no family, or anyone who would even care if I needed help, got sick or died. My heart is broken. I know I should know better, but I just have a difficult time truly accepting my own family actually wants to harm me, even hates me. It's just contrary to nature.
This story is so familiar to so many people that it might surprise you. The cruelty in narcissistic families knows no bounds and sometimes you wonder how in a short space of time they can quickly find a window of opportunity to hurt you. They truly are evil creatures who are always plotting to inflict harm, they have a million ways to cause damage at any given moment.
thx for helping me understand my experience growing up in a Narcissistic family and coming to grips with the damage done to myself during my childhood .... thx god i ending up with the treatable version of this disorder ... SLDD peace ROSS :)
My ex would go out and preach and then come home and berate me. Using the scriptures saying that I wasn’t a submissive wife and if I dare spoke up for myself, he’d say I was a Jezebel
Thankfully I’m free now!!
😯😱😵💫🤯
I am so sorry.
Jezebel.... Did you cheat on him? That's kind of the meaning behind jezebel... I could be wrong
@ Omgee!! No I didn’t cheat on him. But he ended up cheating on me. It was about control and when he knew he couldn’t anymore he resorted to that
I was with the same kind of person. He went to the monastery and wanted to become a priest. To this day he is praying and preaching in front of people. Always using „God“ for his favor. Always says it’s HIS God 🫣. One time if I said a doubt into the believe of prayer the biblical way as my grandmother did, he ended up being physical. „In the name of God.“
Amen.
I had once a neighbour of this kind. I felt always that this person tried to steal my life and personality. They are very distructiv and I needed a long time to recover.
A younger woman did this to my mom, although having Cancer, became my dad's mistress, began shopping where my mom would purchase her apparel, and went so far as having her hair done at the same salon.
I feel a fair number of younger women who have no life does this...
Watch them get out of their vehicle. They look around to see who may be looking at them as though they are royalty. Expecting all eyes to turn to them. Gives me a chuckle every time.
*Excellent video* ty..
This really hurt my feelings and made me worried I’m a narc, because I’m the same getting out of a car.
Then I realised what was actually going on with me is called “social anxiety” and “paranoia” 😂
Thank you, thank you, thank you so so very much! This is my favorite Christmas gift so far! Everything you share is so valuable and life-changing. so far in the last few months, I’ve been able to let go of all my narcissistic so-called friends, and have gained a few “friendly friends”,highly functioning people in recovery from narcissistic injury as close friends. We are having a grand old time of it! Life is fun once again.😁happy happy🤗joy joy😇
It was Christmas day 2020 that somehow unravelled my fathers covert narcissism and everyone saw his mini meltdown for about 5 seconds...all at the same time, and some of us for the first time -ever.
Nothing has been the same since that day...I realized pretty much my entire life has been a lie...ha ha and I was far more psychologically wounded than I ever imagined, yet at the same time- relieved to know that everything actually wasnt my fault and it hasn't been only 'me' the ho ho whole time.
Yay adoption.
'Observe not absorb', I really like that.
Fail satan. ;)
The Valentines Day Narcissists are also awful
Birthday narsist 😄
Everything that’s conning ist dark!! And darkness gets all light out of anything. If there is more than 3 times conning don’t trust anymore. So get your light secured!
Most Accurate Portrayal ever!
The idea that they’re just the drunken disruptive in-law or controlling my way or the highway matriarch is just not always the case.
My covert narc father..... victim stance all his life..... lost all romantic relationships.... His home is not nicely decorated.... He doesnt bother to do that cause he considers this to be women's work. Im sure he whines and complains to others that I his daughter dont decorate his home for Christmas now. I used to years ago, back when I was 25, single, no real responsibliities besided going to work. So he plays the victim role of being alone and foists himself on my brother who still gives into the emotional manipulation. So now my sisterinlaw who seems to have signs of BPD and/or ADHD is now the target of abusive verbal language from my father. I dont see it but she complains to me about it. Psycho situations!
My ex alcoholic narcissist was like the Gringe who stole Christmas.
Mean and spiteful.
The only thing he liked was to cook so that everyone would praise him for cooking. A narcissist wants adoration and they will find a way to get it.
No joke. I can write a book about my ex over Xmas.
Yep. He had money for charcoal and wood for his ham, and left me to do everything else, then would complain the rest of the food wasn't as good as his ham and didn't get anyone else a present. Like come on dude. I could make wonderful mashed potatoes if it were the only thing I had to worry about making too. Lol.
This subject was covered so well! Thanks for enlightening all interested! 👌🏻😇
I call that a special occasion narcissists and other friends would call those opportunist and not in a good way because they seem to try to hit hard when it's the holidays, graduations, your birthday or a special event.
Be coming out to soak up the attention while making it seem that nobody likes you.
I don't associate with those types because of how nasty they are especially on the holidays.
We have a handful of those in the family where they tend to flock together via telephone where they seem to be dropping like flies due to how toxic they are as they tend to focus more on their nasty habits or stressing out when they lose control of something
Oh, so spot on!!
Great video! Thank you, Ross.
Seen it all, thank you for the video,
The first Christmas after the divorce, my ex took my teenage daughters on an expensive trip to NYC. His gift to me (from them) that year was a hand drawn street portrait of my daughters. I am a portrait artist...
I'm happy with simple present but you don't spend same on them it gets nasty . Over top presents .even you don't have the money . I rather have a nice calm Xmas nice food good company .where's spirit Xmas gone ? It don't feel same no more .become competition but it one im not playing. Really fed up with fakes .i rather have Xmas on own.sure lonely unless your into the cults type people .merry Xmas everyone
🥰🥂🥳
Happy Christmas Dear. Better to be content alone than miserable with toxic people! The right ones come when you grow into your own true self. ❤
They always over play their hand!
Ross knows it. You added peace to holidays.
And there is always conditions to their giving.
I took one covert with me to donate to a homeless shelter I was going to. I asked the covert not to wear all their diamond rings. They wouldn't but instead flashed the rings to the homeless when I pulled up to the loading dock. I asked please take those off, it sends a bad message, they still refused. My truck got all scratched up on the passenger side the covert and their flashy rings were sitting at. Heck, I didn't blame the person who scratched it up.
The covert will not be going back to tge homeless shelter again. Their vanity and ego is pathetic and toxic.
One of the many reasons I call it ‘the hellidays’ instead of holidays! 😅😮
Or they’ll put it out there on social media what they want or need & then people fall for it. I found myself falling for this, someone I haven’t been crazy about. They dropped a message of how they didn’t know how they would be able to get presents for their kids… posted pics of toys they can’t afford this year. Our church took up a generous collection for the kids. Then you see where they’re using the money for themselves.
The "Father Christmas" syndrome! 😂
Hate these sicky people .makes me puke.fake people .they put lights up all outside over the top to out do everyone.have a brand new car with a bow on their drive for Xmas .it really stands out.they have pikes of food sweets.thegreed . Briming with look at me I'm really generous .
EXACTLY! 💯 they ruin it for everybody😳 MERRY CHRISTMAS! 🎁🎄🎁❄️☃️❄️♥️
getting white elephant gifts. ive gotten a plasma ball, a popcorn machine, a flood light. like i will never have a usecase for these and its so big.
Great video thank you
What should we do😖? She gave something pretty not expensive. I feel now like a presure to give to her a gift too
If you feel pressure to give something back … it not only feels wrong, but is wrong. Just don’t . she gave a gift to you , say thank you and merry Christmas and that’s just ok. Or write it down on a card where you scribble a little Christmas tree on , or something else if this makes you feel better…. It’s about you! to feel better
@anniemiller8927 thank you so much!!! Great ideas!!! 😎🥳🙏🏼👌👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻😃💗
This is accurate
why did his voice change? is it just me or has his voice changed???
Yes, sounds different
Either has a cold or allergies?
Different microphone perhaps
Got rid of all narcissists by no contact! Also ignored their flying monkeys! It works! 😅😅😅
I do not know any Christmas narcissists, though I have been abused by my narcissistic mother during the holiday. She once to unplug my Wii Nunchucks from the main, which I responded by stretching it to pull it off from the Wii remote. My narc mother then said, "break them and I will f**k you up!" I tried pulling it some more and she lastly told to go to bed, which I did.
How old are you?
What about holiday hoovering?
My late husband's death (just over 2 years ago) was due to several and varied actions of a covert narcissist! He's 'religious' and even sometimes preaches in his church. Watching videos about this evil 'condition' is helping me recover. I don't agree with your 'take' on people who are lavish with decor and clothing on holidays. Even if it's a 'thing' there's no comparison to a narcissist who causes great emotional and even physical harm! 'Wish you'd skipped this part of the video!
Covert Narc☻️😶🌫️ has so many customs depending on what they want to prove:
The🐑 little lamb
The Santa🎄🎅
The heroes🦸🏽♂️🦸🏼♀️
The seedstar ✨️
The perfect match 😎😌
Sounds a tiny bit like a Diddy party
You lost me about the tattoo part. Most people who get tattoos dont give a f about attention. Maybe face tattoos. Even that though is often just for self expression. Same with clothing. Its self expression/ creativity
Mine got tattoos with crosses, Biblical verses just as he described with interpreting the Bible in narcissisic ways. I also believe he got Biblical oriented tattoos to attract church women. He also tells people he's autistic when he isn't.
@@SirenaSpades: yep fishing in all waters !
@@SirenaSpades OK so let's generalize everyone then....
stolen my identity 2021 next door south africa on facebook police
appear musk and hacker snorden
Ah yes narcs love their made up sky god bullshit.
So true 100%