I was going to write my essay about a specific experience I had in robotics, i did FTC this year and a really specific aspect of the game this year was making a drone that you could launch and have it land in a specific zone, we spent a large potion of our season trying to get it right but nothing worked. During one of our last meetings I tried something seemingly stupid and idiotic which was taking the front of the drone and raising the wing tips to near vertical. My teammates made fun of me (jokingly of course) but we tried it and it worked. We got full points for that. I was thinking about robotics experience + resilience + looking where you least expect it. Is that good?
This sounds like a "single moment" essay topic which can be hard to do (especially if you want to portray yourself as a well-rounded/in-depth person just with this instance). However, you can definitely include this moment in your essay and show the insight you gleaned and tie it back to your skills/qualities/values/interests. I wonder if there is a thematic thread/montage you can have running through your essay?
The hook/beginning of your essay isn't really the important part--it's the middle that matters most! Feel free to check out my video on "College Essay Openings/Hooks" for more advice.
I was gonna write about marching band bc I thought it'd be a bit unique and the first thing you mentioned abt being common is exactly that LOL Do you know if marching band is an extremely overdone topic or was it just a random example that came to mind?
@@hunibear2193 in order videos he says instruments/music are a very common topic so I’d assume so, yes. He says its harder to stand out and make connections other people in marching band wouldn’t also make. If you can make your marching band essay stand out then go for it, if not, maybe go with something else.
Is it bad to talk too much about the past, like before high school? I want to talk about immigration and early school struggles that gave me something to overcome.
You can mention early years briefly if it includes clear insight/growth/connection to the rest of your topic. Admission readers will generally want to know what you're like now, though! Something to keep in mind.
"Well revised" meaning: it's clear the student isn't submitting their first or second essay draft. They're working through multiple revisions with their peers/coaches and upleveling it to be as potent and illuminating as they can. They're including insight (AKA answering, "So what?" and they're clearly demonstrating their skills, qualities, values, and interests.
Hey Do you think i can write about my past anxiety due to financial struggle in my personal statement ? Actually I've heard that writing about mental health issues isn't a good idea . But I had to take a gap year due to financial stuff and not going to uni caused my mental health to deteriorate. I was working in that period and my gpa wasn't affected. It's just what happened because i took a gap year . Do you think i can mention this in my essay ?
It can be a red flag and tricky to write about. You mentioned it’s in the past, so it seems like you’ve worked through it. My advice is to focus less on the mental health issues or crisis itself and more on the actions you took, the growth you experienced, and how it sparked positive changes in your life, shaping you into who you are today and who you want to become in college and beyond. Did you gain new tools or coping mechanisms that made you more resilient, adaptable, ___? What did you learn about yourself? Did it guide you to where you are now and where you want to go? Everyone can relate to mental health challenges. The important thing is not the negative xp that happened to you, but what you DID about it, show us YOU in Action coming out the other side as this incredible human being you are today :) hope that makes sense. best of luck!!
Sir please I'm an ambitious student in Africa with a 4.0 UW GPA. I know I don't qualify for the matchlighters scholarship but please try to reconsider me. I really need this to become the very first in my country to attend college. Please!!!!!!!!!
Please remove the background music so that I can focus on what you're saying. Your message is more important than someone banging on a saucepan in the background.
I was going to write my essay about a specific experience I had in robotics, i did FTC this year and a really specific aspect of the game this year was making a drone that you could launch and have it land in a specific zone, we spent a large potion of our season trying to get it right but nothing worked. During one of our last meetings I tried something seemingly stupid and idiotic which was taking the front of the drone and raising the wing tips to near vertical. My teammates made fun of me (jokingly of course) but we tried it and it worked. We got full points for that. I was thinking about robotics experience + resilience + looking where you least expect it. Is that good?
This sounds like a "single moment" essay topic which can be hard to do (especially if you want to portray yourself as a well-rounded/in-depth person just with this instance). However, you can definitely include this moment in your essay and show the insight you gleaned and tie it back to your skills/qualities/values/interests. I wonder if there is a thematic thread/montage you can have running through your essay?
Love from Bangladesh ❤
How would I utilize all these tips in a one page Personal Statement? what are the most important/concise topics for this criteria? thx!
I am always struggling to start an essay. how can i come up with cool ways to start
The hook/beginning of your essay isn't really the important part--it's the middle that matters most! Feel free to check out my video on "College Essay Openings/Hooks" for more advice.
I was gonna write about marching band bc I thought it'd be a bit unique and the first thing you mentioned abt being common is exactly that LOL
Do you know if marching band is an extremely overdone topic or was it just a random example that came to mind?
@@hunibear2193 in order videos he says instruments/music are a very common topic so I’d assume so, yes. He says its harder to stand out and make connections other people in marching band wouldn’t also make. If you can make your marching band essay stand out then go for it, if not, maybe go with something else.
It is actually a common topic, yes!
Thanks Mr. Sawyer ❤
You're welcome!
Dr. Sawyer*
@@hypersonic6649 😜
Is it bad to talk too much about the past, like before high school? I want to talk about immigration and early school struggles that gave me something to overcome.
hey did you finish your personal statement yet?
You can mention early years briefly if it includes clear insight/growth/connection to the rest of your topic. Admission readers will generally want to know what you're like now, though! Something to keep in mind.
You showed "well revised" on the screen but didn't explain what you mean by that. Can you explain more about that?
"Well revised" meaning: it's clear the student isn't submitting their first or second essay draft. They're working through multiple revisions with their peers/coaches and upleveling it to be as potent and illuminating as they can. They're including insight (AKA answering, "So what?" and they're clearly demonstrating their skills, qualities, values, and interests.
@@Collegeessayguy thanks for clarifying!
Hi i was writing about my big forhead and how it shaped me to life do you think this is a good idea please answer to me
Hey
Do you think i can write about my past anxiety due to financial struggle in my personal statement ?
Actually I've heard that writing about mental health issues isn't a good idea . But I had to take a gap year due to financial stuff and not going to uni caused my mental health to deteriorate. I was working in that period and my gpa wasn't affected. It's just what happened because i took a gap year .
Do you think i can mention this in my essay ?
It can be a red flag and tricky to write about. You mentioned it’s in the past, so it seems like you’ve worked through it. My advice is to focus less on the mental health issues or crisis itself and more on the actions you took, the growth you experienced, and how it sparked positive changes in your life, shaping you into who you are today and who you want to become in college and beyond. Did you gain new tools or coping mechanisms that made you more resilient, adaptable, ___? What did you learn about yourself? Did it guide you to where you are now and where you want to go? Everyone can relate to mental health challenges. The important thing is not the negative xp that happened to you, but what you DID about it, show us YOU in Action coming out the other side as this incredible human being you are today :) hope that makes sense. best of luck!!
Thank you ✨
Hi I was wondering if you could check my essay and give me any tips that you think I could improve on.
Is it okay to state the major
Yes, but you don't have to!
Sir please I'm an ambitious student in Africa with a 4.0 UW GPA. I know I don't qualify for the matchlighters scholarship but please try to reconsider me. I really need this to become the very first in my country to attend college.
Please!!!!!!!!!
Would cross country be considered a common sport?
Somewhat common, but can be written about in less common ways!
I love how we have to have 4 irrelevant years dedicated years to math in highschool but not 1 required college ready class
💚💚💚💗🇧🇩🇧🇩🇧🇩🇧🇩🇧🇩
Thanks for watching!
Please remove the background music so that I can focus on what you're saying. Your message is more important than someone banging on a saucepan in the background.
Noted. Thanks for sharing!