Hoarding Forum - Dr. Randy Frost (Note: Slides are not available)
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- Опубліковано 28 чер 2012
- Dr. Randy Frost speaks at the ONPHA Hoarding Forum. Topics include identifying hoarding behaviour and finding ways to help. Dr. Frost is the author of Stuff: Compulsive Hoarding and the Meaning of Things (with Gail Steketee).
Been watching this video in 15 minute segments for a month. I have to pause because I have to take out the trash I picked up while listening to it.
Thank you for helping me face the truth in my own issues. while listening to your seminar I've cleared the table chairs and floor in our kitchen. I hope you know how valuable you are. For this i Thank you.
I know what you mean. I work on my kitchen for an hour listening to this!
Hey peeps: This guy is brilliant. I have read the books, and I have listened to this particular youtube three times.
Thank you Ms Steketee, and thank you Dr. Frost. My understanding is greater and my house has followed suit. Yeah!
Don't go to flixzone. It's a scam and a lie.
Telling stories makes the lecture more interesting and memorable.
Nature of attachments to things 27:32
Procrastination 43:08
Essentialism 50:36
Animal hoarding and social anxiety 1:02:55
Diagnosis of hoarding 1:07:11
Not OCD 1:11:51
Depression 1:20:50
Comorbidity 1:21:22
Great wish I could see picrures
Hoarding is so often diagnosed too late to really make a difference. Because so little is known about it, and how to intervene in it.
It's considered shameful, purposeful, morally wrong, and everyone involved tends to hide it out of embarrassment.
And many hoarders are angry, depressed and get extremely agitated and anxious when anyone tries to do anything about it, so they get very isolated, and push people away.
i LOVe Randy Frost and even just hearing his voice is a comfort, although the slides would be informative. thanks to the person who pointed out confidentiality issues - that makes sense why we can't see the slides. He has done so much great work on the subject of hoarding. I am grateful for him, David Tolin, Gail Steketee and others! What Randy Frost said about avoidance behaviors is right on.
true, also people can use their imagination easily with his descriptions.. lol
Is there help
For people with this disorder
I grew up with hoarders. When I turned 7, my siblings & I cleaned our rooms. After cleaning pet messes, trash, laundry, dirty dishes covered in mold, etc. I think that was when I personally just went from not cleaning to going, "ok, that is nasty! I don't ever want to have to clean that much gross stuff ever again, so I will clean my messes from now on immediately." Ever since then, I have been a "neat freak." I cleaned for others for a long time, they cleaned their messes when I stopped.
OMG! I am cleaning and throwing away stuff right now! he is talking about me!! Thank u for this video!!
It's now an official diagnosis. Meaning that once a week Therapy might be covered by health insurance.
Dr. Frost's books have been very helpful to us in helping someone clear out a hoard.
I highly recommend them to anyone involved with a hoarder, and dealing with hoarding.
Could you please tell me the name of this Book. Thank You.
Book: Buried in Treasures
Help for Compulsive Acquiring, Saving, and Hoarding
There's a 2nd Edition available.
By David F. Tolin,
Randy O. Frost & Gail Steketee
Changed the speed in settings! 1.5
Much easier to listen to with my ADD.
Life changing hack to listening to important, helpful information for me!
I'm watching and paused at 34:50 because he just finished something I loved that he said. About some parts of the saving not neccessarily being a disorder. Ok there is a disorder but some good thinking too, like not putting everything into landfill without thinking twice about it, I think a therapist that thinks this way is so much easier to talk to than someone who just sees it black and white as a disease and nothing else that is good too.
It sounds nice and he’s trying to humanize and encourage empathy for hoarders. But as the child of a hoarder, I can say that they aren’t keeping items out of a landfill; hoarders are delaying items’ delivery to landfills until shortly after the hoarder’s death. And I’m the interim, they’re turning their own home into a landfill and forcing their children to grow up in a landfill. And then, they posthumously force their children to deliver the items to the landfill anyway.
Yes, Empathy is the exact word that can to mind.
@@tawdryhepburn4686 Although I am someone who feels the 'silver lining' of what hoarders do is that they've probably spawned the 'Reclaim, Reduce, Reuse, Recycle' philosophy, I very much appreciated your well put perspective ... thanks for sharing. There seems to be a 'hiccup' after the 'reclaim' part ... or, so it is for me, my sister, and my mother.
1:36 clutter blindness 1:36:49 take pictures "That's not my house! It looks horrible!" seeing through 2 dimensional image is like seeing through another person's eye.
Maybe you consider Mary Randolph Carter a hoarder, but she takes pictures of her stuff and puts them in decorating books. Clutter is not necessarily hoarding. If it doesn't endanger that person and he/she can perform the activities of daily living, mind your own business.
Very very interesting talk. Very good speaker. over 2 hours non stop. Thanks
The best lecture on hoarding I have heard. Thank you. I downloaded STUFF from my LIBBY account (free library books online)...Also got Children of Hoarders.
I bought it
Cant find it
What awesome work this is! Finally, the community helping the community. SO glad to see it.
Thank you for sharing. It's easy to imagine what the slides looked like doesn't matter that we can't see them
Still, it would have been nice to see a couple of them..
Any tv show about hoarders and hoarding provides enough visuals.
Very good presentation. I have an issue myself. This Dr is really hitting on points and he is compassionate.
compassion and sympathy go a long way with hoarders
I'm a hoarder, and I can agree that this guy is almost as much as an expert on hoarding as I am
Thats funny and sad at the same time
You ? Expert?
As soon as he said toilet paper tubes in the crack next to the frig I knew what they were for...
Very informative. I really like how Dr. Frost presented it; was not boring or bland.
Why are people complaining about no pictures? The video states no pictures and quite frankly the hoarders here do not need the added shaming by people (trolls) on UA-cam who can be vicious and cruel.
The video says no slides.
From a hoarder of course
Yes I agree! Referencing what we can't see. The camera focused on FOLLOWING the speaker. I just put the device aside and listened only. I hope there's another video as I looked hard to find this one. Good message brought forward however.
I have filled my house with treasures but these treasures are the bars to my prison.
I wish I could copy and paste what you said. I'll just have to write it down and stick it on my bathroom mirror! Thanks!
The photos of the client's house would not be shown due to confidentiality and her privacy. She may have given permission for those photographs to be used in forums but not to be broadcast in other ways.
Thank you, joktan20; I didn't think of that but you are absolutely right -confidentiality need to be honored.
Many of the slides are bullet points or from his research such as setting up and photographing an apartment that they put in levels of clutter. These had nothing to do with individuals.
@@geraldmcmullon2465 sure. But who is the person who’s gonna go through and edit in all of the slides while also double-checking to make sure that none of the confidential information is accidentally included? Based on your description, it sounds like there are images of the patient’s home _and_ mock ups of the stages of hoarding created by doctors to aid in diagnosis... sure seems like those two things are gonna look a lot alike. Could be some real risk of betraying a woman who has been very generous and open with the doctor. Add all of those factors together and the cost/benefit analysis becomes pretty simple.
my poor puppy dog is running out of space. My kids are developing complexes, low self esteem, defense mechanisms. They love their mother, yet, she makes them suffer her bullshit. my anger and frustration is building. Alcohol and drugs were my crutch. Now sober, I understand why I struggled. My frustration is turning to disdain. I have to expose her for myself and my families sanity. Can't live like this.
You can do it
Run. Leave. Do it for the kids.
his drinking led to abuse of his family. she shops to get out of the house. been there.
This is very useful. Thank you for posting this up.
Great info! I took notes. Hope I end up making use of my notes and hope they don't end up lost in a pile of papers! I'd really love to see more groups spring up like the Buried in Treasures Workshop. Would love to be instrumental in seeing these get started in my area!! ❤
This is very informative and just a pleasure to learn from this man. Mr. Frost, an amazing quality you have is your empathy and compassion, your genuine willingness to listen and learn from your patients. God Bless You.
I have no depth perception. My opthalmologist taught me how to relax my eyes and for a few seconds I have depth perception. It is extremely different than when I have none. One day Ifdid the depth perception exercise and looked at my hoard. Holy cow! It was overwhelming! Just a thought for you to consider
I am a sucker for intrinsic saving of beautiful objects (trash to others). I just like the innate aesthetic qualities of some items that others would consider to be worthless. I also like to imagine that I am some kind of artist - once upon a time I was a creative person. ;-( We have to learn to let go and to grieve our losses as we move through life. This helps.
One other HUGE problem (in my personal opinion) is the cost of putting this stuff out-to-the-curb for trash pickup. We are limited as to what items we can dispose of. I have a lot of stuff I would like to put out for trash pickup ... but I can't. (No, I am not a hoarder, I tend to go in the other direction, I get rid of "stuff" I should have kept.) Anyway, I do have a lot of "stuff" in my garage that I would be glad to get rid of, but I don't know how to do it. Example: Old microwave, old brooms (tall stuff), paint, pesticides ... living in a rural area, we get one day to take this toxic waste to the city for disposal. If you miss that day, you just keep adding to the "discard pile."
Most people I know are closet hoarders. The public rooms are fine but the private rooms have hoarding, so there's no shame.
good point thanks
I have asked my mother to take pictures of the inside of her home. I realized some time ago that taking pictures of the inside of your house is a great deal of help in seeing things the way they actually are. Of course, she doesn’t feel she needs I do that so, it doesn’t stay the same, it gets worse. Far far worse.
I have noticed that in my own case. It is sort of an unpleasant surprise to see my place in photographs..... Reality check.
@@quuqeemonster yeah, I don’t know what it is. I’ve noticed the same thing, if I take a pic of my hand. It doesn’t look that fat, unless I see s pic of it and I don’t know that the idea of a pic adding 10 lbs applies to my living space and my hand.😊
Such an incredibly effective public speaker
Perhaps grief counseling would help....since letting go is a major problem.
This problem is more widespread then we can imagine.
DONT YOU TOUCH THAT!
DONT YOU FUCKING TOUCH THAT!
LOOK, I JUST NEED THAT OKAY. I NEEED THAT.
Good presentation------his comment at 1:50;08 speaking to confidence also refers to HOPE which I think many have lost in the struggle. Thanks for the knowledge.
How can someone dislike such a good lecture ?!!?
Excellent talk. Thank you.
Thabks for helping me understand myself lol it makes it easier to make changes when you truly understand how your brains ticking making sense of the chaos in our mind.
I keep a lot of souvenirs from holidays & trips to various places. These objects connect me to those trips & remind me of them. I don't think that's particularly strange or abnormal behaviour?
Sounds ok
OMG, The lecture is literally great to clean up to!
Excellent. Really Interesting and informative. Thanks. If you have a couple of hours I recommend you listen especially if you really want to understand what's going on with a person who has this issue. If you can only listen to one lecture on this topic, this is the lecture to listen to.
It's a symptom of our society. Consumerism.
Lonely people who don't have much of a life otherwise. Abandoned and Alone, clutching onto the only jolly they cam get, buying/acquiring things
The puppet. Anthropomorphism of inanimate objects. I recognized that in myself just a few months ago. Almost wondering how a shelf felt holding a lot of heavy things. Really bothered me that I even thought of that so, I had to train my mind to ignore it. Bad enough I have clutter.
My mother, though, has become a full-fledged hoarder.
That said, what I see in the both of us is that, while hoarding may often be a sign of depression or is assumed to be depression, for a hoarder, it can also represent holding on to not just that which has sentimental value but, hope for the future. Hope of using things which translates to hope of one day living the life you dreamed. The unfortunate reality is that one begins to drown themselves in those dreams and move further away from them. Add to it that life is often so busy that the acquisition of items often winds up being the ONLY step to dreams and goals and we’re instead stuck with the mundaneness of life that we’re trying to avoid - further covered by the items meant to help fulfill them.
You are also quite correct when you stated, in another video, that hoarders tend to see and appreciate the details in items that others just don’t think about. The potentiality of items is a problem. I’ve often said that I definitely buy things for a combination of form and function. Even computer equipment. Also, my mother and I are both creatives so, that does not help!
I think hoarding also comes from losses or perceived losses over the course of one’s life. It often depends on whether you feel you’ve gotten what you feel you deserve, as opposed to what you’ve put in. If you feel you’ve instead lost in comparison to what you put in, you acquire and in an angry way, perhaps without knowing it. If you feel your glass is half empty, you’re probably going to fill it.
In reference to what I’ve seen on hoarding and narcissism, although not all hoarders are narcissistic, your belongings become extensions of you, your personality, your tastes - even if they’re in a pile. They may be a sign of your own arrogance or serve as a blanket to hide from the world. For me, my rather organized clutter, is not a representation of what I’d like to show a potential visitor. I just like them for myself and form/function.
Lastly, with my rambling, I take some issue as to what some people define as hoarding. I think of hoarding as having enough items to impede your daily functionality, which probably runs along the more clinical definition. But, in this social media world, hoarding is more defined as a person just having more than the next jealous person or the public decision that the amount of items you have should be held strictly in comparison to your economic and social status, which includes your marital status and race. Even if you are a high earner, if the world decides you should have less (because you essentially to not deserve to receive the rewards of your earnings or your earnings at all) you’re a hoarder and should be stripped of what we feel you should be stripped of to cut you down to the size we think you should be. Unfortunately, that frame of thought is also a way to entrench a hoarder.
P,,
This is one of the most intelligent and thoughtful comments I have ever read on a message board. Thank you, sincerely. You have explained several things about the world that I have wondered about for years. Bravo.
As for the narcissism thing... it’s hard for me to not view the behavior as extremely narcissistic. My health, mental/emotional/physical well-being, wants, desires... everything was less important than the hoard. I know that might be a warped way of looking at things based on my upbringing, but it feels impossible for me to view it any other way. Guess I should meditate on that further.
Tawdry Hepburn thank you. I don’t know that I’ve “explained it” though. I’ve more explained it, for me, looking out of my own eyes, attempting to figure the why of it, as I look at myself and my mother, particularly, as it wasn’t always this way.
PLEASE SKIP OVER SECTIONS YOU DON’T WISH TO READ!
While I know that hoarding results from the acquisition of items over the course of time as, you don’t simply wind up with an extraordinary amount of items, in one feel swoop, I see different things in my mother and I, although I know I may be just writing excuses for myself and most would simply say the apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree. But, my mother owns 2 hoarded homes and, then 2 storage units and also once asked if she could bring things to my apartment, when her township was going to inspect her homes, to which I said no as, I had already caught wind that it would be not just a ton of work but, for a lot longer than she was letting on to. I think things also got quite out of hand for her, when she cared for my stepfather for a decade, until he passed and she also pursued a legal case against a company who stole his work. Lastly, she is older than I, obviously, and what, sometimes, comes with that is the fear of technology. So EVERYTHING must be printed, to ensure a hard drive doesn’t crash and some IT person is grinning at you, as if to just say, “Whoopsies, you just lost it all.” I understand that, even with the computer backup I provided her, as I used to build my own systems and worked for Apple for a few years. But, it became so much paper, and disorganized at that, that one would think that my stepfather was alive and working at a feverish pace. Pretty sure it was also an insidious way to keep him alive, as she felt alone in her pursuit of the case, while I was just trying to survive the recession. She also later blamed me for the loss of the case.
For me, I feel I’ve acquired what I have merely because she told my sister and I that we’d inherit a house apiece. I just figured I’d have more space one day and I’m not one to leave a lovely item at the store, that I might not see again, because one day has not yet arrived.
Where narcissism is concerned, I guess I don’t see it that much, at least from me as, I live alone so, I’m not punishing anyone else by having too much. I’ve also gone no contact with my mother. She’s become narcissistically abusive to the point of predation and I will not tolerate it. So, hopes and dreams of owning a home are gone as, I assume she will turn on my sister and end up a ward of the state, with the state acquiring all of her assets. For her, perhaps, hoarding also had a punitive aspect. It became evident that her inability to clean up her properties, was also seen as something I should do something about. That she was even to live there, doing much of nothing, while I came in to declutter, clean and care for her cats. Never mind that I had just landed a full time job that has since made me climb the walls often.
I’ll note one last thing though. One of the things I find interesting about hoarding is that, if you look at 2 people, given that they have equal amounts of clutter, if one can afford a large home, while the other can only afford an apartment, the one with the large home would never be considered a hoarder. For the mere fact that they have, perhaps, mastered an amount of belongings in neat proportion to the space they have, they’re simply one of life’s winners and to be celebrated. I don’t discount the effects of hoarding. The often unclean, chaotic, even dangerous conditions, in a home where things often don’t work, because you’re too embarrassed and fearful to allow in a repairman. But, it is a message from society that also states, “Stay in your place!” I imagine, at times, a couple of my neighbors, coming in and deciding, “You don’t need this, you don’t need that. This goes. That goes.” It would be, in large part, due to the fact that they, themselves are more worried about what others think and because a chair and table to them are a chair and table. Pure, spartan utility. Beauty in things? What’s that? You should afford yourself a nice, new car to show off to neighbors you don’t even care to know and speak to, despite that also being a clutter of sorts at times. But, that you should be worried that someone might find out you have a dish set you don’t need, because they’ve determined that the space you can afford, means that you haven’t earned what’s in it really.
Last, last last and I hope you’ve skipped over sections of this comment, is that I’m reversing and relinquishing much of what I have. Life has had an unfortunate change in plans for me. So, the many dish sets I have, I am selling a lot of. Things that don’t stick to the one main style of Asian, are leaving. I’ve become a Prepper because of the state of the world, which already has its own hoarding aspects, which I HHHATE. But, I’m trying to survive what might come. But, the loved, decorative items, yes, much of that is being sold. Sometimes, life is simply what we’d imagined it might be. But, the truth, and there is a smidgeon of happiness in the painting down, is that I’m just another person, spending much of my waking hours in an office cubicle. WFH has simply given me the opportunity to dodge that for a bit. But, it’s still the truth. So, I do obtain a bit of pleasure out of seeing a bit more floor. I also don’t completely call it “decluttering” by the way. I have enough of enough varied items and styles that I call it “curation”. I’m simply trying to carve a decent life out of the cluttered and mundane, with what time I have left here on earth and to obtain some bandwidth away from the incredibly scary and dreadful chaos at work, to get to a few, person design projects, so there can be a bit of glee in pursuing a few, small dreams.
40:30 that is me. I have no issue with discarding things. But i end up with too much stuff BECAUSE my house is clean. I could have 1,000 pair of socks but if they are all "put away", i have zero.
Thank you so much for posting this. It was great and so helpful! I hope that with this new info, I will be able to help my mom. Her hoarding is not to the point where the house is completely packed, but I can see all the signs and details and her behavior, and I know that if we don't do anything now, it will only get worse. Thanks again.
Get some thick skin
Did it work? How are things now... seven years later.
@@tawdryhepburn4686 Hi, well, not any better. I tried everything. I moved out because I couldn't tolerate living like that anymore. I realized she didn't think there was a problem and resisted any kind of help. In the end one cannot help someone who doesn't want to be helped. I have not seen her place since I moved out, so I don't know under what state it is, but I can only imagine. It's very sad.
@@CreamIceMs I’m sorry to hear that. But I think you made the right choice for your mental health and potentially even your safety. I’m at a place where I speak to my parents and things are nice... so long as we never _ever_ discuss the massive elephant in the room. It’s painful, but so is cutting them out. I hope you’re doing well and have learned to cope with the various issues her hoarding probably burdened you with.
@@tawdryhepburn4686 Thank you so much for your kind words
That's interesting about the doorbell dread & experiencing it later in life. Our home wasn't hoarded, but being a lg family it got messy quickly. Always the 15 min scramble for surprise visitors. As an adult, i still dread someone saying they want to visit. I'm not a hoarder, but i want everything to be pristine when someone comes over or knocks on the door.🥴
Seriously I think the stories allow a much better understanding of what we should be doing with patients. I think the stories are more important
Excelllent - speaker did explain what is being shown. The story about woman at the beginning husband left how could children be allowed to stay?
I am compassionate but if she is not willing to accept help and do something about it will suffer consequences.
If having her children taken away is not enough then I do not know what to say.
I know someone her hoarding is so bad that toilet cannot be used.
Uses a bottle for bathroom. Sleeps on a floor on top of clothes. Very bad situation
Minimalisim is fashionable, and minimalists think everyone who has more stuff than them is a hoarder. Be careful to differentiate between someone who has more stuff than YOU feel comfortable with, and someone who has a disorder that endangers them and their home.
The Seinfeld shirt story repeats itself at every single fan convention for anything, everywhere in the world. Like you say, we all seek those kinds of connections to some degree.
God help these poor people
Hoard cash therapy is what creditors would hate.
WOW!!!! He nailed it!!! How do we get his program on the west coast???
As a social worker I respect his topic and lecture, I feel he could have been more thorough in his topic by having less stories and more visual on his PowerPoint.
The problem is sometimes its good shit.
34:20 insightful
1:40:30 interesting insight worth reflecting on. Thank you
Read some other posts. The slides are important because of the data and for professionals to get the point the doctor was making. However I am listening only as I drive, so I go it without having the pics.
The best therapy is to take a hoarder to another hoarders home and let them criticize and solve it, making changes to clean it up 2 hours as a swap and a video of each to see afterward. even if it is tossed they pre agree to let it happen. Just agreed worhless stuff by 2 thrird parties. All general newpapers magazines and containers and junk get no rescue.
You really should do both or it probably won't ever get done, first clean it all out, then get someone in there every week till keeping tidy becomes a habit. If you just bring someone in without the decluttering event, it'll be too overwhelming on their own and it won't change!
You can't just clean it all out, that's the problem. It's got very little to do with learning how to be tidy, it's about learning what's going on behind not letting go of things and how to tolerate thoughts and feelings that come up when trying to. If someone thinks it all has to go they can become overwhelmed and distressed, and taking stuff out without working through things worsens the issues. Showing a person they can learn to work through how to manage and tolerate discarding and not accumulating teaches them how to deal with attachments to their things, which isn't learned if the stuff is just removed. Keeping tidy isn't the issue.
This is a brilliant video. I do question, though, if everything (including humans) is "energy" ... then, perhaps, there is more to this picture. Perhaps, the longer you have an item, the more you have an energy/physical connection. (I just think that there is even "more" to this ... even though you have gone deeper into this than any other video I have seen).
My fantasy solution: I’m a clutterer.
Clothes books linens furniture.
So, a WWII NAZI gives me one week
Or I will be shot.
Sounds like rationalization.
"cash" earning some interest would be the best hoarding but no credit card of business would ever tell that truth. Consumers are slaves and this would cure poverty.
I think you are on to something
That’s exactly what the wealthy do. They hoard cash. Beyond any meaning or use. It’s the same thing. And it damages far more people.
it is all about not missing opportunities
At 1:16:00 I think that the DSM should alter the language to say that criteria should be collecting items that have no use for the person doing the collecting. I have a friend who is collecting more things than their home can hold, but all of the things are in great condition with excellent possible use for someone else, just not for my friend. It's frustrating for her to go into the charity shop and see brand new high quality and expensive baby clothes with tags still on them that cost 10 pence and then not buy them. My friend has a therapist but all they ever seem to do is listen to her talk about her anxiety and prescribe her pills for it. I don't think they've ever talked about her collecting. Of course I'm not a therapist of any kind much less an expert in collecting but I am working to convince her to not feel upset about passing on these purchases. By not purchasing them she is enabling someone else who actually can use them right now to benefit from them. If she buys them they will end up carefully organized in a box never to be seen again.
Solution: very very simple! My husband is a hoarder and I just sneak out his garbage/hoard weekly. I get things that are hidden under some of his other things so it’s not obvious. I’m kind of a minimalists so can’t stand it. If I don’t do it that one room that’s full of hoard would slowly go out of that room and will be going to the rest of the house like I see in tv. I’ve been doing this for years and so far I haven’t been caught.😁😁😁. If he looks for some items I just tell him it’s probably just buried with the others
I’ve done the same thing. I’m a minimalist too
Are children involved?
Hey, I totally understand why You do that, You feel overwhelmed, But i'm telling You, that is one way of keeping the soulution from happening, you need to find conection with your husband and honestly tell them what You feel about the situation, it won't be easy, But hold your ground, You Also have to trust your partner and offer assistance if needed when cleaning the hoard (there Will be a time for that) otherwise the hoard Will never end, again is the most important thing.
That's a great way to exacerbate the problem.
It would have helped to see the presentation. Interesting stuff.
I found it helpful to picture some of the things I've seen on some of the hoarding shows as well as what I've seen / experienced in 'real life'
wow. never anything this accurate.
The idea of having fellow hoarders go to see the difficult cases and talk to them as peers is not so new at all. It has, besides the spiritual element, remained as the fundamental principle of AA and any other 12-step programme (such as Clutterers Anonymous) for almost 100 years now ;-)
I wonder if in latinamerica hoarding is less frequent because of the culture or the extremely low income
People have the disorder, they just don’t have the money to fill their home, I mean they probably wouldn’t own a home so they fill any space they call their own with trash, they also don’t live alone, multiple generations is the norm, so someone will eventually throw away the trash… but in yard sales it’s obvious that there’s people with affinity to bring home useless stuff just for the sake of it…
As it says in the title, no slides. Many complainants below about this but there are probably good reasons like privacy.
Why can't we see any of his slide show?!???
Privacy, can be.
I cannot let myself gather the empathy for hoarders in my life and family. They are truly a burden liken to a person in a wheelchair, with perhaps no legs and still driven to buy shoes. I see some things as good, but he is paid well enough to be sympathetic, for us however we have to grovel and undermine are own lives. It is not a fair balance at all. I have had my fill of hoarders for over 30 years. Never turns around and contamintes everyone around them. It is like allowing a drug addict to shoot heroin while you are making them lunch and cleaning their mess. How stupid we must be. They have resources, they get others to enable them. Do we see redemption in mental disorders of child abusers, or killers. What we care to do with our lives, is up to us. We are not god and savoir if we become trapped in this web. We all must be strong and careful but not enabling or cruel. The word no is it.
The audio and information was excellent. Why oh why did the person videoing this not show the slides, or edit them in afterwards. It does the presenter a disservice. It may have used less data just as a podcast, after all, it was just watching a talking head. The video therefore was redundant!
Getting people in is not the answer. The answer is. Give that person her kitchen back. Just the kitchen. Chuck the junk in the other room. Irene liked cooking. She would then have a reason to do the dinning room. If she is sencertive person. She will want her use ful items being used by a mother person. Because she knows she cannot use all the stuff.
I liked Dr. Frost's book, but PLEASE, (italic and underline), use a tripod, put the camera on it, and leave it run! The constant, unnecessary movements were making me nauseated. Plus, it was extremely annoying to NOT be able to SEE what was being discussed on the video screen. It was both very distracting from his great and very important message.
Maybe the guy videotaping this was trying to do it discretely, thinking that it might not be allowed.
I am a partial hoarder of craft items. This would be out of control. If my husband did not restrict areas I know this is because when I produce something. I get praise. But in what I make is perfection. But unless it’s got exactly the right components it’s not going to be any good. So I buy more craft stuff the more I learn. I cannot let people mess or touch my stuff. So I need my area. Maybe if you start treatment by insisting on one area not for hoarding. Forget the hoard at first . Create an area or a room where hoarding is not allowed. Explain to a hoarder. Someone else can make better use. Re Irene and cooking. Clear the kitchen into an out house. Allow only the one receipt in the kitchen. The books and cards must be in the kitchen.
Thank god for your husband
How about a little editing - putting the photos into the video?
Because they're of people's private homes, and didn't give him clearance to use them on UA-cam, maybe?
And who is the person with the time to do that? And the person to double check and make sure no private photos or information is being shared? Perhaps a link to a webpage with the info slides and approved photos could work. But beyond that... too work intensive for too little reward.
Don't condone this behavior. Save yourself! I don't care what people do with themselves, if you don't effect others lives. If it does, they should be treated as drug addicts. I have never seen a woman who flips out about a husband who cleans up. I have wasted my life dealing with this. Thank God for eternal life. Apparently, that will be my retirement. maybe I will outlive her, so I can have a quality life for once.
I apologize for my frustration, this is unbearable at times.
My mother is a Hoarder 3.5/5.0.
I like to say this " IF EVERYTHING IS A TREASURE THEN .....NOTHING IS A TREASURE "
I believe the best thing when you see a hoarder is to help protect their health and the safety of Fire fighters that may have to enter.I think it's best to call the City,Fire Captian and Health Department.It helps the Hoarder that will not change.
It seems you're implying the best way to deal with a hoarder is to set the house on fire!
kids hoard their blanky.
OCP runs the cops.
56: 8-12% evicted
57: 17% of homeless have hoarding problem, 10% became homeless because of hoarding.
Because they spend the little money they have on storage stuff (while living on the street).
Cannot recognize images of their hoard
58: Doorbell dread. Child of hoarders want nothing to do with parents; want to help. Try to throw stuff away. REJECTION
1:04: Animal hoarders: tolerance for hyegene. Mostly woman
1:02:35 Cat hoarding Cult
1:12 OCD begins as intrusive thought
1:13 hoarding starts as pleasant experience
1:13:28 phenomenology of hoarding doesn't match with OCD
*Phenomenology is the study of structures of consciousness as experienced from the first-person point of view.
1:14:22 used to be a considered an anxiety disorder, then became its own thing.
1:16:43 Inclusion Criteria. Contamination obsession. Don't want to touch "gross" stuff, so end up piling up objects.
1:18 exclusion criteria, ex: Depression, autism, dementia... etc
1:19 acquisition can be passive, but can be a specifier to help set up treatment.
1:21 Co-morbid
1:23 ADHD
1:32 bias towards unusually detailed objects
20 End of Irine exposition, 3 behaviors-acquisirtion-saving-disorganization.
22:14 avoidance behavior-setting up for development of disorder
23:52 puppet
28 senti, instru, inherent
32 personal history
36:21 unique quality, appriciation
38:12 everything compelling
43:08 perfectionism char
49:26 kids personification
1 animal hoarding, mostly female
I'm hoping that my comment will be seen by someone who is working on managing any hoarding instincts. I grew up with someone who has the opposite of hoarding instincts. This person would get overwhelmed with life and feel "cluttered" in the home and so would impulsively throw away photo albums. Or our only set of dishes or flatware. Yes, a garage filled with magazines is not good, but this person would throw away the 3 new ones in the guest bedroom that were meant to give reading material to people staying over for the weekend. What I am saying is that you may feel that you are on an extreme end of a spectrum, but don't let people like the UK show Obsessive Compulsive Cleaners make you feel that you need to go to the other extreme end. It is likely that your home will never look like a Pintrest pic. Shoot for keeping each room use-able for its intended purpose and for disinfecting every hard non-porous surface in the kitchen and bath once a week. If you can do that, you are fine. If you want to go past that, great! But that's up to you. I special order cleaning products meant for surgical wards so some might call me a clean freak but my home like almost every home has one messy room (for me it's the garage). The next level would be to keep a parlor or sitting room clean (whatever room is closest to the front door) clean and tidy as priority so that you can have pop-by guests and not feel judged. Your friends and family might have no understanding of what you're dealing with and they might be assuming that you're just lazy. So anyone who wants to be a major part of your life will probably need therapy just like you will need. For friends, You may wish to refer them to videos like this.
17:02 "And so, she buys it; she puts it in the bag, it goes here, and this is where it stays... For more than a decade". XD
The hoarding situation is absolutely dreadful, but you gotta give it that the comedic potential is through the roof.
Of course there's an association with income. Rich people can afford more real estate for storage of the stuff they keep. When you have five homes, they look less cluttered than a small apartment, no matter how much you have.
Just might have helped to have pics shown on the video... ya think???!!!???
Your talking crazy.I'm trying to help the hoarder and save the life of a Fireman.A fireman just died in the last few months from a severe hoarder that was a 5/5.
With SO many references to the photos... Geez-O-Petes!!! Just remake the thing please!
He's lecturing to a group of clinicians, not us. Whoever is recording didn't have permission to tape the slides.
Fire your camera person. Not seeing the slides you are pointing at and talking about makes half this presentation pointless. Couldn't you at least edit them in before posting? Good presentation, but so frustrating.
I really like the insight into the intellectual differences of processing and organizing thoughts. Nice to hear some initial successes.
+PS Wright (Splot Publishing) My thoughts exactly. It's like we don't CARE about seeing what is being presented. Hey Cameraman! WE KNOW WHAT THE GOOD DOCTORS LOOKS LIKE FFS. Sheesh.
Definition: Pornography you know it when you see it. This doctor is a hoarder: a forum of fools is hoarding too.
It sounds like an absurd amount of effort. The woman likes her stuff more that she likes her children and her husband.
Effort is what it takes to help a person understand and then repeat actions enough to change a ingrained thought patterns and behaviour. And no, the all too common assumption that hoarders must prefer their stuff to family members is inaccurate, a person can't simply switch off a psychiatric condition because it inconveniences people they care about.
This is useless with out the slides.