“Am I a bad mom if we can’t do a $7k Disney trip?”

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  • Опубліковано 1 січ 2025

КОМЕНТАРІ • 539

  • @ramitsethi
    @ramitsethi  10 місяців тому +14

    00:00 Download the Conscious Spending Plan so you can use your money GUILT-FREE: iwt.com/csp-youtube
    Please remember: These are real people who had the courage to come on my podcast and ask for help. Would you be willing to come on this podcast and share every detail of your financial life? Feel free to leave comments based on what you think, but remember that we are here to help in a supportive way, not to demean and criticize.

  • @paulaooook
    @paulaooook 10 місяців тому +422

    I had a thought when she was asked “when do you say no?” And actually she says no all the time. To her future self, to being able to retire, to not being a burden to her children. She says no to that every time she caves on a huge expense that will make them happy in the moment.

    • @joesoccerfan4628
      @joesoccerfan4628 10 місяців тому +28

      Lotta truth in this comment.

    • @Hlonibooboo
      @Hlonibooboo 10 місяців тому +10

      Powerful!

    • @TonyCox1351
      @TonyCox1351 10 місяців тому +15

      I was thinking the same thing when she was talking about “spending the money on Disneyland and a new truck is worth it because it makes you feel good” ok but having not enough money to retire and loads of debt does not feel good, every action has a reaction

    • @o0usf0o
      @o0usf0o 10 місяців тому +12

      I legit said the same thing to my girlfriend! They are saying “no” to retirement. 100%

    • @keithwisdom1663
      @keithwisdom1663 10 місяців тому +1

      Say no when you have no money and credit is full

  • @BrandonBames
    @BrandonBames 8 місяців тому +7

    “Our #1 priority is to make sure our kids are happy.”
    Parents…PARENTS…you do understand that your children are dynamic and have fluctuating emotions, right? If you skip a trip to Disneyland they will not be upset forever, not will one gesture make or break their unhappiness.
    Please stop hiding behind your children and diverting the responsibility to them.

  • @FIREownyourtime
    @FIREownyourtime 10 місяців тому +253

    $200+k salary and paycheck to paycheck... Yikes...
    When your kids are teens, you need to sit them down, tell them your entire paycheck and show them the house budget, how much it takes to run the family, why we say yes and no base on the budget. Why we need emergency funds, thats how kids learn. Too many kids don't know what and how much it takes to run a family, so if you don know, you would ask for the sun and moon and every thing in between.
    For the Hawaii trip, let your daughter google up the trip cost, planes, food, hotel and all for 2'3,4 people and ask her how to come up with that amount and ask her if thats reasonable for a grad vacation or would it be a reasonable decision to put it toward college or a car? Life is always making decisions and compromises with opportunity costs.
    They are going to be house poor. $175 per month for vacations and no savings is a bad idea. This means, moving forward they will only have $2400 to spend on vacation once a year and hope nothing else breaks at home.

    • @StewieStew820
      @StewieStew820 10 місяців тому +16

      This right here, you have to teach them. Keeping secrets won't help anyone involved.

    • @lesliepressley8452
      @lesliepressley8452 10 місяців тому +17

      Many Americans disagree with you. But I'm with you. A lot of young people just now going out on their own are delulu! They have no concept on what life costs in the real world. I think a lot of parents want to keep their kids in the dark to keep them kids. I think this prepares them for life.😊

    • @FIREownyourtime
      @FIREownyourtime 10 місяців тому +11

      ​@@lesliepressley8452 bad idea. Parenting is to be a parent. To teach them well before you let them go out in the wild. Otherwise, 10 years from 18, they will all come back to live in your basement with tens of thousands of credit card debt.

    • @greentofuhouse
      @greentofuhouse 10 місяців тому +5

      ⁠@@FIREownyourtimethis is what makes you a bad parent, not prepare your kids for the world. Not not going to Disney every year 😅 I don’t get why people blame the kids nowadays for being what they were taught 🤷‍♀️

    • @aNihilisticMystic
      @aNihilisticMystic 10 місяців тому +4

      Great advice. I did this with my 20 year old when he was 13. He now works a minimum wage job, pays me rent, has a college degree and $20k in savings. Talk to your kids early on, people, and SHOW them where your paycheck goes.

  • @jared3235
    @jared3235 10 місяців тому +265

    I knew my parents weren’t happy when they took me to Disney. To this day I can’t go back to Disney Land, even though it’s 1 hour away, because it triggers so much guilt for me.
    Children want to see you be happy.

    • @Nia0204
      @Nia0204 10 місяців тому +5

      Wow

    • @holamissmusica
      @holamissmusica 10 місяців тому +15

      Do you have children? Go there to help overcome the trauma x Wish you all the best x

    • @radhikakedia9757
      @radhikakedia9757 10 місяців тому +6

      I'm sorry you still hold onto this guilt. 😢

    • @catelynsilapachai9138
      @catelynsilapachai9138 10 місяців тому +12

      I feel the exact same way about Disney! We went every year and I could see how much stress it was on my parents, palpable during the whole vacation.

    • @woboznz
      @woboznz 10 місяців тому +2

      Shame on Disney! What an exploit

  • @maryanngrow2970
    @maryanngrow2970 10 місяців тому +94

    She's tearful because she says that she helps family members and friends with money, but then says no to herself. What about the $8,000 ring from Zales and the $600,000 house? I think she takes care of herself quite fine.

    • @4thand133
      @4thand133 10 місяців тому +40

      And the husband's new truck because "him having a new truck with lots of room makes him happy and I'm all about happiness." These seem like very nice people, but they have a spending problem that goes well beyond spoiling their kids.

  • @RuthBeyond50
    @RuthBeyond50 10 місяців тому +196

    People dont understand how easy it is to make kids happy with free activities. I put my kid on a budget at 10. She got $100/month to budget for clothes, birthday gifts etc. The first time she spent her $100 before the end of the month and asked for more I told her we would take it from the next month’s allowance. She freaked out about not having enough the next month. First and only time it happened. By senior year of high school she was getting $250/mo. It was probably the best thing I ever did for training her for adulting. She learned to save for what she wanted, and how to hunt for sales. She became a hardcore thrifter and would joke that she was a hoarder cuz she liked holding on to her money. When she went to college she was shocked to watch friends drink their rent money 2 weeks into the month. Learning how to delay gratification is important. My parents lived in Jamaica and I never said I couldn’t afford things, I just said we had to choose between x or y. Do you want a dress now or do you want to spend it on the beach in Jamaica?

    • @foureyeswonder
      @foureyeswonder 10 місяців тому +4

      I love this! Thanks for sharing!

    • @farmerz97
      @farmerz97 9 місяців тому +5

      I love this. The key is not to give them more when they spend the money. Great job!!!

    • @WTF-sh4is
      @WTF-sh4is 9 місяців тому +1

      Very smart! And very true words! My kid just needs me, a field, and a frisbee. Those have been the best moments in my life and his!

    • @IAmebAdger
      @IAmebAdger 9 місяців тому +1

      There is a flip side to this learned frugality, but that comes later. Right now she's on the path to a better financial future. Eventually she will have to train that spending muscle and learn how to spend her money more, but that's when job, retirement, etc are all sorted.

    • @dilnozakh97
      @dilnozakh97 3 місяці тому

      This is very smart! My college roommate came from a well-off family and had an allowance of 300 dollars a month (besides college food). She budgeted all the time, saved up and got a part time job in her free time. I was impressed by how well her parents prepared her for the real wold although she will end up inheriting a sizable sum one day

  • @4thand133
    @4thand133 10 місяців тому +133

    Buying an $8.5k upgraded wedding ring, where you need to put $3k on a credit card, kind of throws some doubt in the whole argument of "I only do it for my kids."

  • @renataturcan8135
    @renataturcan8135 10 місяців тому +32

    I really enjoyed how towards the end they were waking up to many realizations. I hope they truly work together and solve these issues. On another tangent, I was listening to this episode while picking up my 7 year old daughter from school. I had to pause and tell her " This is why mommy says "no" to many of your wants. To teach you to say "no" to your future children". Later on, she relayed the message to her 12 year old brother. :)

  • @paulaooook
    @paulaooook 10 місяців тому +60

    There is also a darker analogy that she might need to examine. And that is that her mother also did what felt good and wanted to be a “good mother” and bought her daughter everything she wanted. Now that daughter painfully yearns to retire her mother so she wouldn’t have to work so hard, because she didn’t plan for her own retirement. What do you think will come of Kristen’s kids? What could she do to prevent that now?

    • @o0usf0o
      @o0usf0o 10 місяців тому +4

      My gf is Latina and I come from a Latin background… this is very common. Thankfully my family saved and we all have decent jobs. On her side, we already had the “need to give money to my mom” talk. I said, “that’s fine 😊 as long as you do it with new money AFTER you pay yourself first”. She completely agreed. You have to break this cycle.

  • @darbymori350
    @darbymori350 10 місяців тому +243

    I pay cash for Disney trips, so I make sure we have the $ before making reservations. Vacations are a privilege, not a 'right'

    • @Dan16673
      @Dan16673 10 місяців тому +8

      Not very american

    • @Lime6291
      @Lime6291 10 місяців тому +36

      "Vacations are a privilege, not a right" is advice most of America and certainly all of Ramit's guests needs to hear.

    • @notNaB2024
      @notNaB2024 10 місяців тому +8

      If you know how to handle money correctly, and are in tune with your finances, there is no difference between paying for things in cash or with credit cards. Now, the easiest argument is that most people who use CCs are not capable of using them responsibly, which is true for the majority. Howecer, I don't think "paying for things in cash" necessarily means that one is automatically savvy financially and is got everything about their finances sorted out.

    • @o0usf0o
      @o0usf0o 10 місяців тому +6

      As a kid, I never went on vacation. Traveling is so much more common now.

    • @barose1
      @barose1 10 місяців тому +3

      @@o0usf0o I was a teenager before I had my first airplane ride. My husband flew for the first time when he was 33.

  • @vanessaroque4476
    @vanessaroque4476 10 місяців тому +98

    Military retirement and he is banking on disability, that's why they purchased the house now. Buddy....fellow vet family here, took us 19 years to reach 100%. Don't bank on it. This scares me! Better budget that $2,700 income first.

    • @dkayok
      @dkayok 9 місяців тому +2

      That's what I caught, too. He said he is expecting that. If he doesn't get that full amount, how will they afford the new house???

    • @curtissouth916
      @curtissouth916 8 місяців тому +6

      Exactly. Retired vet here. They obviously got approved on the loan for the new house based on his active duty income. There is no way they would get approved for that loan on her salary plus his $2700 pension. They know this and that is why they are purchasing now instead of six months from now. Gotta “lie” to the bank about income. I guarantee the bank doesn’t know he is retiring. I also agree on the disability everyone thinks they are gonna get 100% but relatively few do. Don’t count on that income until it hits your bank account.

    • @ajbaa8131
      @ajbaa8131 5 місяців тому

      I was looking for this comment. 🎯

    • @nikkibadzik3948
      @nikkibadzik3948 3 місяці тому

      ​@@curtissouth916 yeah, people seriously don't understand how getting the disability rating works and how very very difficult it is to even reach the 90% mark much less 100%.

    • @shanicebecton6923
      @shanicebecton6923 2 місяці тому

      I was just thinking this. My father-in-law just got 100% after 15 years and my uncle just got 100% 7 years after retirement. When I worked for DEERs I used to see grown men cry about having to go back to work because the VA money they factored in didn't go through and they couldn't afford to maintain their families and lifestyles. It is a slippery slope. I truly do hope he gets 100%. I feel that vets deserve that!

  • @spencer34716
    @spencer34716 10 місяців тому +114

    I just called my 84 year old mother and thanked her again for being the BEST mom. She taught me be blessing of delayed gratification and that I couldn't have everything I wanted when I wanted it. "Mom, I want new clothes for school!" Mom: "You have $50 to spend on clothes this year. I would wait two months for them to go on sale, but your choice. When the money's gone, it's gone." "Mom, I want to go to the county fair and ride the rides!" Mom: "You have a choice: county fair rides now or we'll go to Kings Island for a day next month."
    And my Mom NEVER changed her mind and relented. Whatever she said was written in concrete - no changes.

  • @AS-kf1ol
    @AS-kf1ol 10 місяців тому +68

    As a Latina currently taking care of many many people in my family as I am the only person doing well.... This is the first episode that really connected with me. Thank you Kristin for telling your story. You are not alone. There's so much guilt. I get it. But as Ramit said, you have to choose you. Your marriage. Your life. Your future. You are worth it. You deserve a "yes" too.

    • @maryanngrow2970
      @maryanngrow2970 10 місяців тому +9

      Yes, she gave herself an $8,300- anniversary ring upgrade.

    • @RB-gq2zy
      @RB-gq2zy 10 місяців тому +6

      that she referred to as a “little”splurge.

    • @o0usf0o
      @o0usf0o 10 місяців тому

      @@maryanngrow2970with money they didn’t have…

    • @o0usf0o
      @o0usf0o 10 місяців тому

      @@maryanngrow2970with money they didn’t have…

    • @o0usf0o
      @o0usf0o 10 місяців тому +4

      My girlfriend is Latina with similar mother issues to Kristina. She asked for my thoughts about her helping her mom out. I said, as long as you pay yourself first and use extra unsaved money, it’s fine (guilt free spending money). You should never put yourself in financial trouble giving a gift you can’t afford. - she definitely doesn’t want to be in her moms situation in 20 years.

  • @caseyhill636
    @caseyhill636 9 місяців тому +7

    This couple scares the life out of me. Blended family, adults who can’t get on the same page, living paycheck to paycheck, living WAY above their real means. Keep in mind that college is right around the corner for 5 KIDS. And the parents have basically zero saved for retirement. They will go through all this and nothing will change. They think they can just have everything all the time and the kids will grow up thinking the same. Absolutely terrifying. 😢

  • @simsamurai333
    @simsamurai333 10 місяців тому +167

    Starting off with "you guys like getting played by your kids?" is wild

  • @FIREownyourtime
    @FIREownyourtime 10 місяців тому +130

    The big elephant in the room is the house with zero savings. $600k borrowed at 6% is paying $36k interest only to the banks annually, plus property taxes, insurance, HOA and utilities. All this with one month out from being flat out broke. How are they paying for mortgage if the roof leaks, water heater breaks, mom get laid off or if kids need braces, college fee, car purchase??
    Plus they are only budgeting for year 1 of home ownership. We all know that property taxes and insurance only goes one way.. UP UP UP... My payment went from $1400 initially to $1900 now due to escrow (taxes and insurance) buyer beware!!!

    • @jaydubya9265
      @jaydubya9265 10 місяців тому +10

      Yeah 4100 bucks a month with their family size and income is cray cray

    • @ajhuttonsc
      @ajhuttonsc 10 місяців тому +3

      yeah that's totally insane. Zero down too so no history of disciplined savings.

    • @aatkinso
      @aatkinso 10 місяців тому +4

      I would predict a lot of debt in their very near future. This is irresponsible spending since they have nothing going to retirement.

    • @Jessica-mv1lj
      @Jessica-mv1lj 10 місяців тому +7

      They’re banking on him getting 100% disability which will make it so they don’t have to pay property taxes and his income would be way more after retirement. Hell of a gamble if that doesn’t come through

    • @FIREownyourtime
      @FIREownyourtime 10 місяців тому +6

      ​@@Jessica-mv1ljhe will have to pick up a civilian job after 'retirement'. No way they could maintain their spend with the new house.

  • @mikaelaziegler9782
    @mikaelaziegler9782 10 місяців тому +82

    His oldest daughter asked for a trip to Hawaii for her high school graduation AND to bring a friend?? Omg I could never. She needs to learn that things are worked for and earned, not just twist daddy’s arm and you get it.

    • @teeeteee000
      @teeeteee000 10 місяців тому +1

      In reality, that's what should happen... BUT... you can't fix stupid if you were raised by delusional parents.

    • @mmp495
      @mmp495 10 місяців тому

      The crazies are running the insane asylum.

    • @milivaro
      @milivaro 10 місяців тому +5

      Right! I was like no I must’ve misunderstood lol

    • @caseyhill636
      @caseyhill636 9 місяців тому +2

      Woahhhhhhhhh. These kids are something else these days. But they learned it from somewhere/someone 👀👀👀

    • @rjkbuny
      @rjkbuny 3 місяці тому +1

      Also the audacity for her friend and their parents to be ok with having someone else pay for their trip...

  • @El-wf2zx
    @El-wf2zx 10 місяців тому +62

    If he dies, isn’t the pension amount massively reduced? I find this episode deeply deeply stressful- if any one thing falls through- she gets laid off, he dies, he doesn’t get 100 disability etc etc, there is absolutely no back up plan. At 38, David has no future work plans?

    • @jaydubya9265
      @jaydubya9265 10 місяців тому +2

      Exactly

    • @karynnotkaren693
      @karynnotkaren693 10 місяців тому +9

      Also, the 7000 a month they get now will have a fraction of the buying power in 20 and 30 years from now.

    • @DuskySphinx
      @DuskySphinx 10 місяців тому +2

      Per other comments, if he's rated at 100% disability due to his time in the military he risks his military pension by working too many hours (and the idea with 100% disability is that he likely can't physically/mentally/emotionally handle much more than that anyway)

    • @DuskySphinx
      @DuskySphinx 10 місяців тому

      ​@@karynnotkaren693they do cost of living adjustments. They may not always keep up in high inflation years, but it's not 7000 forever.

    • @rezwolf83
      @rezwolf83 10 місяців тому +3

      Absolutely agree that 100% VA rating isn't guaranteed until it's approved. If he elects, his military pension has a Survivor's Benefit Plan which pays up to 55% of the value to the widowed spouse. VA Disibility can be passed on to the spouse using Dependency & Indemnity Compensation however there are lot of rules regarding it. Military pensions and VA Disability are cost of living adjusted each year according to the same federal COLA rate that adjusts Social Security annually.

  • @o0usf0o
    @o0usf0o 10 місяців тому +80

    I just want to say… I would never have had the balls to ask my parents for trip to Hawaii for graduation 😂.

    • @mmp495
      @mmp495 10 місяців тому

      I would’ve been slapped into next year. 😂

    • @spf_500
      @spf_500 10 місяців тому +5

      😂 😂 😂 😂 DITTI for Disney also! She would have laughed me out of her face

    • @MrManfred951
      @MrManfred951 3 місяці тому +2

      Right?! I mean I could have asked but I already knew the answer…😂😅

  • @gilmendoza8092
    @gilmendoza8092 10 місяців тому +77

    I’m from Florida and it’s 6am, enjoy waking up to find a new episode while drinking my coffee ☕️

    • @MNP208
      @MNP208 10 місяців тому

      What’s the deal with Disney? There are so many other beautiful places to go in FL!

    • @kelmike060404
      @kelmike060404 10 місяців тому

      Same but it's 3am🙀

  • @kenwilliams3279
    @kenwilliams3279 10 місяців тому +54

    It is interesting how many times we hear "Its 0% interest, its OK!". Just because there's no interest DOESN'T CHANGE THE FACT THAT YOU DON'T HAVE THE MONEY FOR THE ITEM! Thanks to the couple for sharing their financial life online. I learn from each episode and try to resist myself some of the issues I see.

    • @4thand133
      @4thand133 10 місяців тому +2

      Yep he waved it off, was almost as if he thought since the loan was zero interest, it doesn't count as debt.

    • @foureyeswonder
      @foureyeswonder 10 місяців тому

      @@4thand133one of them even said it’s ’free money’

  • @mspro9032
    @mspro9032 10 місяців тому +70

    Idk why people are succumbing to their kids emotions. You need to be parents and say no. If you cannot afford it then it should be no and end of discussion.

    • @SuzanneU
      @SuzanneU 10 місяців тому +19

      They're bringing up their kids to be self-indulgent and entitled. These kids are growing up to think that whining and pouting will get them anything they want.

    • @michinnunapaen
      @michinnunapaen 10 місяців тому +11

      it shouldn't be end of discussion but an opportunity to teach kids why and how to be financially responsible. unfortunately, if the parents aren't financially responsible, they can't and won't teach them.

    • @chastiana
      @chastiana 10 місяців тому +5

      End of discussion is poor parenting. There should be an explanation

    • @mspro9032
      @mspro9032 10 місяців тому +1

      @@michinnunapaen of course a discussion of finances would be great although I am not sure they would understand the entire concept. They need to know as well that sometimes the answer will be no

    • @YurySiamashka
      @YurySiamashka 10 місяців тому

      Because we suffered and did not have everything we wanted as children, and we want our children to have it. Not that it would do them too much good.

  • @floridadivorce
    @floridadivorce 10 місяців тому +43

    I live an hour away from Disney world and we just went after not going for 10 years. We stayed in a nearby hotel and brought sandwiches for lunch and had a really nice dinner. There was no shopping allowed, my kids were so grateful, they never asked for anything. We all wore Mickey ears I purchased on Amazon and had a blast.

    • @candecarro
      @candecarro 10 місяців тому +4

      Beautiful! Especially the sandwiches and the Amazon Mickey Ears (I might go further and get the ears on ebay).

  • @danfordtv
    @danfordtv 10 місяців тому +168

    It appears that Ramit is getting tired of hearing adults act like children. The earlier episodes were less direct and he had a lot more patience. now he can see why Dave Ramsey goes on his famous rants after listening to callers for 30 years. :-D great episode, Ramit!

    • @GenChanger
      @GenChanger 10 місяців тому +47

      I noticed this too. Irresponsible doesn't look cute on adults once you see it too many times.

    • @jrod6236
      @jrod6236 10 місяців тому +9

      Wow…. Good observation.

    • @topseekrit
      @topseekrit 10 місяців тому +5

      I agree 💯 %

    • @lookingforsure
      @lookingforsure 10 місяців тому +16

      Agree! He also spends less time letting people bask in their feelings

    • @verb0ze
      @verb0ze 10 місяців тому +11

      It sticks more with people when you call them out on their bs. Initially, their reaction might be "that a-hole!" But then in the back of their mind, there's that nagging feeling of "but dang, he was right". I believe people also like to prove others wrong, so him saying at the end he doesn't believe they're going to change is actually a motivator for some to actually change lol. We humans are weird like that.

  • @denselypackedfancy
    @denselypackedfancy 10 місяців тому +50

    anticipating 100% disability and actually getting it are two different things. And it can take months before it kicks in after you retire even if you do get it (personally still waiting on determination from last claim a year past retirement). Would be wise to have a plan for extra income while you wait.

    • @Dan16673
      @Dan16673 10 місяців тому +1

      He can't get 100% while walking. Pollyanna have 80 or 90

    • @Pink_Torch
      @Pink_Torch 10 місяців тому +2

      ​@Dan16673 I'm in the military, yes you can and it's more common than you think

    • @Dan16673
      @Dan16673 10 місяців тому

      @@Pink_Torch it's very very difficult

  • @tuttuttut7758
    @tuttuttut7758 10 місяців тому +38

    No, you are a bad mom if you don’t teach your children financial responsibility and don’t teach them that life can’t be Sunshine and roses all the time. Because once they’re out the door reality will hit them. Hard and fast.
    Not to mention living paycheck to paycheck is waiting for disaster. Being homeless or in debt because you cant say no to your kids is being a bad parent

    • @TheDoggmom
      @TheDoggmom 10 місяців тому +3

      I know! Kids do not know household income and the demands on it. It is not their fault.
      Parents exist to set friggin boundaries.
      And what does this teach them. How will they manage money getting out on their own? That 16 year old daughter is a scant few years away from running her own household budget.

    • @tuttuttut7758
      @tuttuttut7758 10 місяців тому +4

      @@TheDoggmom Unfortunately its a sign of the times. I used to be a teacher and instead of parents supporting the teachers and setting boundaries, they act like we are to blame.
      Its become a topsy turfy world. Its no wonder why all these teenagers and young people get burned so fast

  • @MNP208
    @MNP208 10 місяців тому +66

    My kids got their college educations paid for. We took them to Disney once. Now they are old enough to pay their own way when they travel!! Why is Disney the “end all, be all”?

    • @FIREownyourtime
      @FIREownyourtime 10 місяців тому

      Smart parenting!!! Disney is over hyped corporations greed brain washed into kids. 'if you didn't get to go to Disney, you were not loved' same as diamonds. 'if you didn't get diamonds or a big bill for wedding, you are not loved'... It's all marketing...

    • @4thand133
      @4thand133 10 місяців тому +7

      marketing

    • @mmp495
      @mmp495 10 місяців тому

      These days it’s New York and Miami Florida.

    • @debbielockhart7762
      @debbielockhart7762 5 місяців тому

      ​@@4thand133Not marketing. For me, it was a very fun time with my family. And I have continued my love for it into adulthood with my own kid. And now my kid is an adult and still loves Disney.

  • @trinimarine4life
    @trinimarine4life 10 місяців тому +42

    As a retired service member myself its sad to see other service members like this guy, who is probably an E7/E8 who after "X" amount of years of sacrifice in the service is leaving with so much debt to start this new chapter of his life. He's also doing this saying he's guaranteed 100% but nothing is ever guaranteed and you shouldn't plan that way.....

    • @joycef8443
      @joycef8443 10 місяців тому +2

      Absolutely…nothing is guaranteed. He never listened to his First Sargent when he was a new recruit; Ramit is now going to yell at him to get his attention

    • @floridadivorce
      @floridadivorce 10 місяців тому +9

      Agreed. Getting 100% disability through the VA is a process and rarely granted.

    • @Financialdemics
      @Financialdemics 10 місяців тому +1

      I was thinking the same thing. My father is retired military and out of everyone we know who applied for disability only 1 person was able to get 100% everyone else received partial.

    • @kailaleebabineau3962
      @kailaleebabineau3962 10 місяців тому +2

      My dad retired from the military after 25 years, literally walking with a cane from an on duty injury and didn't get disability. People treat this benefit way too casually.

    • @tracyaf6084
      @tracyaf6084 6 місяців тому

      I honestly wonder if there is something about military/first responders/healthcare/police, etc. that they see so much craziness in their careers that debt doesn’t scare them. It’s like their risk assessment is so different from other people.

  • @Lime6291
    @Lime6291 10 місяців тому +55

    Big yikes on this one. They make too much money to have so little in investments, its frankly embarrassing. This couple are true Americans- love to consume like there is no tomorrow. I can't fathom upgrading an engagement ring with $7k in the bank, not to mention upgrading it by putting it on a credit card (yes, even if it is at 0% interest). And then she talks about wanting to give $100k to her mom? Lady, you're functionally broke.. you lose your job, then your entire world will collapse.

    • @verb0ze
      @verb0ze 10 місяців тому +2

      I mean, 200k with 4 kids is actually not that impressive in this day and age. They definitely need to cut back some places, but I wouldn't say they make too much money. If a kid is about $17k/ year on average, that's close to 70k in childcare alone.

  • @brittanybaker7937
    @brittanybaker7937 10 місяців тому +7

    I am so proud of the parenting lessons that Kristin (and David) learned here. It can be hard to teach financial habits to your kids when as parents we just want to give them the world. Seeing the shift in her mindset throughout the episode was amazing.

  • @ihill6533
    @ihill6533 10 місяців тому +17

    The greatest gift my parents gave me was planning for their own retirement. I come from an immigrant family yet they thought about the future. They must of taught me something about money because my husband and I both retired at 62 and are financially secure.

  • @JKRBW
    @JKRBW 10 місяців тому +71

    My spouse and I are "elder millenials". We were told not to come home until the street lights came on, to the point my dad literally locked the doors and we were not allowed home.
    Stats today show kids are not able to roam as far from home as they did when we were kids. My kids are 11, 11, and 5, and their friends literally get driven to the playground in our residential neighborhood, driven to school .4 miles away, and a lot of them don't even know how to ride a bike.
    It's a REALLY weird juxtaposition to the pervasive "I can't say no, I want my kids to have all the experiences" parenting practices. Those experiences are expensive things like Disney and cell phones, not life skills like walking to the park and managing their time to be home for dinner. Priorities are out of whack.

    • @ramitsethi
      @ramitsethi  10 місяців тому +24

      Extremely insightful comment

    • @switchfooted
      @switchfooted 10 місяців тому +12

      Spot on. It's weird to me that 2 teenage boys even want to go to Disney World with their family. When I was 14 my family lived near Disney, my dad could get free tickets, and I still didn't want to go. Only wanted to roam around the city with friends and play basketball.

    • @teeeteee000
      @teeeteee000 10 місяців тому +3

      ​@@switchfooted 💯 I agree, I have 2 teenage sport fanatic sons. Disneyland doesn't even make it on their list of places to visit. I can just imagine it being absolute torture for the both of them. 😅

    • @enneirda07
      @enneirda07 10 місяців тому +9

      ​@@teeeteee000to be fair, all boys don't like sports. Also, the Disney parks have Star Wars and Marvel stuff.

    • @teeeteee000
      @teeeteee000 10 місяців тому +1

      ​@@enneirda07 So? I was referring to my own teenage sons.

  • @limegimlet
    @limegimlet 10 місяців тому +24

    For me the biggest shock is how not saying 'no' = being a caring mom. Whike I would sometimes resent it as a kid, I started to understand it as I grew older. Now I am very grateful my parents made me learn about delayed gratfication, and even to think about hidden costs. When I (brattily) asked why I couldn't get a car for my 16th, like my friends, my dad patiently explained all the hidden costs, and said you shouldn't own a car until you can not just pay for it but pay for the upkeep too. He felt giving me a car would not teach me the true costs and would hurt me later in life. (and also, I preferred the money be used for tuition).

    • @TheAkumaChan
      @TheAkumaChan 10 місяців тому

      I think it also has a lot to do with the type of children you have. I was rarely told no as a child, which made me take those no's extremely seriously, no bs. Also, I hated going out, so even now, my retired parents are trying to convince me to spend more money and take vacations. I am trying to implement this recommendation with my greatest abilities 😅 Realistically, I just want to stay home.

  • @gwenalexander
    @gwenalexander 10 місяців тому +12

    At 57:00 she mentions how she wants to help and take care of others financial needs. A major lesson I learned is, you have to take care of you first and then you can help others. Make sure your home and family is secure. Help doesn't always have to be with money, it could be with your time.

    • @mmp495
      @mmp495 10 місяців тому

      You nailed it! They are only in a position to take care of themselves…that alone will take a lot of work.

    • @maryanngrow2970
      @maryanngrow2970 10 місяців тому

      She has taken care of herself: the $8,300 anniversary-upgrade ring. With five children, they spend $600 - $700 a month for that ring payment.

  • @andresgarciacastro1783
    @andresgarciacastro1783 7 місяців тому +16

    We need to redifine "great experiences". Taking a hike, spending an afternoon at the park with friends, playing a board game, watching a movie........ You don't need lot's of money for most stuff.

  • @Peoriahiker
    @Peoriahiker 10 місяців тому +6

    I admire this couple for bearing their lives in front of all of us. I’m pulling for them

  • @beea4456
    @beea4456 10 місяців тому +35

    This couple is why I tend to lack empathy towards high earnings who are living paycheck to paycheck. We work hard and you deserve to treat yourself but not in expense of your future. These behaviors will have you working in old age and struggling.

  • @KaiSano
    @KaiSano 10 місяців тому +31

    I can’t fathom David’s idea of only taking 2 of his kids to go on this trip because we don’t have enough in our budget, what?! If you don’t have enough in the budget then go somewhere else where you can take all of them.
    As a dad myself, it’s so weird to hear that you’re willing to leave other kids at home and only take a couple of them out…

    • @Gioli565
      @Gioli565 10 місяців тому +8

      I agree! I thought that was strange and a big place for resentments to start.

    • @laraerae4321
      @laraerae4321 10 місяців тому +16

      I don't think it was that strange because it was meant to be a gift specifically for the daughter. I think as long as you are doing it fairly (like every kid gets a trip for their sweet 16) I don't see the issue

    • @cathy3546
      @cathy3546 5 місяців тому +4

      Nothing wrong with taking each child on a special trip for their 16th birthday. It gives each child something to look forward to.

    • @stephenirving9846
      @stephenirving9846 3 місяці тому +3

      I felt the opposite. I think it is just fine to take one kids for their birthday and do something else special for the other kids.
      As a kid, I love that my parents would occasionally just do us without my siblings for my birthday.
      I always spent time with my siblings. I almost never got time with just my parents when I’m a kid.

  • @ebelen1
    @ebelen1 10 місяців тому +55

    She talks about her mom not being able to retire yet she is going down the same path. I hope she sorts it out as she’s still very young.

    • @FIREownyourtime
      @FIREownyourtime 10 місяців тому +11

      Yup... Same path... At her age and their income level, they need to be setting aside $24k to 50k a year to be able to retire in 30 years.

    • @ebelen1
      @ebelen1 10 місяців тому

      @@FIREownyourtime they’re doing really well income wise. If they can flip to net worth, they could be doing well there too.

    • @teeeteee000
      @teeeteee000 10 місяців тому +6

      ​@@ebelen1 With the way they're spending and living pay check to pay check, I beg to differ. They are broke!

  • @tvrecepion
    @tvrecepion 10 місяців тому +79

    I’m only halfway through this, so maybe I’m weighing in prematurely, but holy cow! When they started talking about their finances and their net worth, they thought they were rich, it sounds to me like they are poor! So funny how people can see the same things and have such different opinions.

    • @teeeteee000
      @teeeteee000 10 місяців тому +8

      I agree. Add delusional to the mix, too.

    • @agusal4487
      @agusal4487 10 місяців тому +6

      Yes, that blew my mind too. I was scared looking at it and they aren’t even my numbers. Shows how much things can be different to another set of eyes.

    • @sussie9895
      @sussie9895 10 місяців тому +7

      He clearly doesn’t understand net worth. I knew they were doomed as soon as he revealed he thought they were rich for having thousands in the bank while ignoring their $600,000 in debts. Why should they change when they’re “rich”?

    • @Capycorg
      @Capycorg 10 місяців тому +3

      Yes that was a very painful moment.

  • @IgWannA2
    @IgWannA2 10 місяців тому +31

    Retiring at 38 years old with a combined net worth of $12k is absolutely shocking. Earning those kind of salaries and basically being broke is nuts. I know kids are expensive but how are they not able to save and invest with $15k/month net income??

    • @rezwolf83
      @rezwolf83 10 місяців тому +8

      He's definitely going to need to work to cover their lifestyle. At least he'll have $7k in passive income while he starts his 2nd career

    • @johnr4207
      @johnr4207 10 місяців тому +2

      @@rezwolf83 he anticipating being 100% disabled. What kind of side job is he gonna be able to work and still keep his rating.

    • @rezwolf83
      @rezwolf83 10 місяців тому

      @@johnr4207 Full-time employment doesn't affect VA rating. Many disabled retirees go on to work for the state/government then earn FERS/Defined Benefit Plan pensions ON TOP OF military compensation and social security.

    • @ohasumirawr
      @ohasumirawr 10 місяців тому +4

      @207 Wondering if it's a physical disability or a mental disability (like PTSD or smth). But it seems to be physical since he sounds cognizant enough. He can definitely do something remote on the computer, lots of those jobs nowadays. He just needs to learn new skills.

    • @foureyeswonder
      @foureyeswonder 10 місяців тому +5

      Look at what headphones he’s wearing: Apple AirPods Max. This is just an indication on how he spends his money

  • @100Stratusfiedx
    @100Stratusfiedx 10 місяців тому +67

    It’s still not lost on me how expensive Disney is for just 1 person . I had just simply added the hotel costs, travel, tickets etc and it was insane. Not to mention all of the passes and access to certain parks

    • @JBJB992
      @JBJB992 10 місяців тому +9

      As someone who has planned Disney and decided to do just one park...their $6-7k estimate spent seems too low for that many people. ****EDIT to add, forgot he is labeled a disabled vet/active duty so he can get super discounted park tickets. If he stayed at the military Disney hotel, that should have helped on costs.***

    • @sarahjfarber
      @sarahjfarber 10 місяців тому

      I'd say adding 50% to their estimate is a good start. @@JBJB992

    • @HoopDreams_x
      @HoopDreams_x 10 місяців тому +2

      @@JBJB992literally thought the same thing but with a veterans discount that might make sense. But ain’t no way 7k for 7 people. I pay almost 3.7k for 2 people when I go

    • @TheAkumaChan
      @TheAkumaChan 10 місяців тому

      I'm now in my early twenties, but never have I been to Disney. My parents love traveling, and it was a good call that we decided to go to other destinations. They were not cheaper, but definitely more interesting.

    • @natashawilliams1694
      @natashawilliams1694 10 місяців тому

      Not to mention ya gotta feed them 😩😩

  • @judijudijudiii
    @judijudijudiii 10 місяців тому +15

    Hi Ramit, I love tuning into your UA-cam videos! Do you think you can interview people who have achieved their rich life? It’d be interesting to see how these ppl have achieved their dream and the diff backgrounds they come from.

    • @ramitsethi
      @ramitsethi  10 місяців тому +2

      That's not a focus for this podcast, but I talk to lots of people who are building & living their Rich Lives in my coaching program: iwt.com/moneycoaching

  • @alexisballard1459
    @alexisballard1459 10 місяців тому +41

    The fact that you can “afford” a 600k home and it blows your mind is because you actually CANT afford it 😂 the bank will tell you anything you want to hear but it’s your responsibility to account for your reality

    • @FIREownyourtime
      @FIREownyourtime 10 місяців тому +7

      Banks will stretch your income up to 4X gross... It's crazy. Count the interest they will pay per year $600k x 6% is $36k per year every year for the bank. That's excluding property taxes and insurance and PMI and HOA.

    • @chukuemekaoje1015
      @chukuemekaoje1015 10 місяців тому +2

      ​@@FIREownyourtime VA loans don't have PMI.

    • @ZekeValk
      @ZekeValk 10 місяців тому +9

      That was the part they didn't say out loud...they qualified for the house with his current income...before his income went down after retirement.

    • @mmp495
      @mmp495 10 місяців тому +1

      Absolutely 💯 as millions of Americans are up to their eyeballs in debt and house poor.

  • @rogervaughn142
    @rogervaughn142 10 місяців тому +42

    The issue here is both of these people have been making decisions based on ego masked as “caring” and Ramit is being too nice to them.
    She wants to help her family by paying for their things before hers because she wants to appear “rich” they said it both of them they have a “Millionaire mindset” they are both dillusional. They “think” they have a lot of money because they don’t have any financial plan. The dad said it’s “amazing” that they can buy a house for 650k yet he acts like they are paying cash for it, every thing they are doing; stupid vacations, paying for the whole family at dinner, buying a new expensive house, buying their kids name brand always, telling his daughter he will pay for a trip to Hawaii for graduation. Thats insane. Hey your a million or go for it, the problem is they think they are rich when they are not. She loses her job or business stops making money they are out of that new house. They can calll it what they want but they are like most Americans they want to feel rich when they aren’t and they are making stupid and childish decisions to make themselves feel that way

    • @JenniferBrooks-eq3rn
      @JenniferBrooks-eq3rn 10 місяців тому +11

      This is true. Their financial life is a house of cards. You take one source of income away and you lose it all. They have basically no equity in the house they’re buying, and too many bills. The lifestyle change that would happen if even one of them had to bring home significantly less is major. The house would be gone. That’s a huge deal for the kids. Being a good parent also about providing stability for your children. Being forced out of your home and school, activities and daily routines is terrifying for kids. It’s their whole world. You have to be the adult who looks for every way possible to give them a stable life. You can’t do that taking these types of financial risks on repeat and just shrugging it off like next time you’ll be more responsible.

    • @Kenya1984
      @Kenya1984 10 місяців тому +1

      😢sadly so. Blaming on kids instead of taking ownership to their reckless spending

  • @katee2206
    @katee2206 10 місяців тому +69

    When I took my kids to Disneyworld....their favorite part of the ENTIRE trip was watching the Disney Channel in our hotel room while eating pizza! 😂 Could have done that at home!

    • @jaydubya9265
      @jaydubya9265 10 місяців тому +4

      Noted 😂 that actually sounds amazing lol

    • @katee2206
      @katee2206 10 місяців тому

      @@jaydubya9265 my kids would absolutely agree!

    • @laraerae4321
      @laraerae4321 10 місяців тому +6

      that is so funny hahhaa

    • @ericar.6370
      @ericar.6370 10 місяців тому +2

      Lol, what?! That’s hilarious! Are your kids introverts? 😂😂

    • @smffboe7733
      @smffboe7733 10 місяців тому +4

      Yaaaas! My kids favorite part was the pool at a cheap hotel. Their second favorite part was the plane ride.

  • @harrypotterbabe123
    @harrypotterbabe123 10 місяців тому +2

    This video title is everything!!!!! So many families struggle with this question, thank you for stating the reality!

  • @alexisballard1459
    @alexisballard1459 10 місяців тому +70

    I find it hilarious this guy asserts his control over DISHES but when it comes to saying no to his wife or his kids he considers himself a ‘pushover’ - dishes ain’t the problem buddy

    • @1juliasana
      @1juliasana 7 місяців тому

      Well he doesn't want to do the dishes LOL

  • @4thand133
    @4thand133 10 місяців тому +12

    I have to say, the costs for Disney have gotten really outrageous. Families literally put themselves into debt to go. She is not the only mom who ever thought that saying no to a Disney trip made her a bad mom (all their friends are going!). At some point people have to just say no to the consumerism if they can't afford it. But... the messaging is very powerful. You'll hear talk of "family memories are priceless" as a rationalization for spending thousands they don't have. This is the marketing at work. Yes, family time is priceless - but that can be at a public campground or a trip to the beach. Doesn't need to be Mickey Mouse incorporated.

  • @WillowandThatch
    @WillowandThatch 10 місяців тому +5

    Is there a reason we aren’t getting to see the full CSP? It would be really helpful and educational to have a full look at the numbers for all the couples who come on the show.

  • @SqueakyPeeps
    @SqueakyPeeps 10 місяців тому +17

    I was raised by a single mom of 3 girls and when we asked for things (new sneakers, a dress, etc) she would sarcastically say, "Sure! Do you see that money tree outside? Well go a pick some bills off it". She was always the smartass. We knew she was broke because we had to buy orange Kool-aid instead of actual orange juice. I hated being poor and hated all the stress that brought to my mom. I couldn't wait to get my first job so I could buy anything I wanted. This family really needs to learn and teach the value of money to their kids. I'll bet they all have the newest iPhones, tablets, and computer game systems.

    • @spf_500
      @spf_500 10 місяців тому +1

      I was thinking the same. I bet the kids have everything. I grew up poor too and the idea of being in my 60s and broke is a major fear for me

  • @ToddVenable
    @ToddVenable 10 місяців тому +17

    They are well into their 30s and have less than 10k in investments. I am sorry, but this couple is financially illiterate. He says he can afford his truck because it's at 0% interest? I couldn't care less what your interest rate is - his truck payment is likely several hundreds of dollars a month, and they are putting nowhere near that amount away for retirement. These two are in dire straits and need to be shaken to their core to turn things around. My impression from watching this is that Ramit took it a bit too easy on them as it relates to the nuts and bolts of their financial habits. He didn't discuss (that I could remember) them setting up automatic investments - and this gentleman is in the military, so he has access to the Thrift Savings Plan (TSP) which is an outstanding retirement plan. I really enjoy Ramit's content and appreciate couples being willing to open themselves up like this, but I feel like Ramit missed the mark on this one.

  • @JenniferBrooks-eq3rn
    @JenniferBrooks-eq3rn 10 місяців тому +25

    The vacation budgeting here is completely unrealistic. We’re a family of five and road trip vacations START at 6k for us. That’s the cheap end. And that’s with not eating out for breakfast and most lunches. I have no idea how you take that many people to Disney for 3500. That’s just the most unrealistic thing I’ve ever heard of. Where are you gonna feed six people on $100 a day? You can’t even do that at McDonald’s. None of the vacation spending was living in the year 2023 much less 2024.

    • @kailaleebabineau3962
      @kailaleebabineau3962 10 місяців тому +1

      Disney lets you bring in packed lunches, so if you plan properly you don't need to spend more on food during a Disney trip than a normal week. This works with our toddlers, might not fly once they're teenagers I suppose

    • @debbielockhart7762
      @debbielockhart7762 5 місяців тому

      ​@@kailaleebabineau3962And practically nobody does that. Quite frankly a Disney vacation is a rare treat foe me - and I have zero desire to pack in a PB & J sandwich in my bag. I'll treat myself to whatever food I want to.

  • @maxime_vhw
    @maxime_vhw 10 місяців тому +17

    So they are 10-20k in cc debt with little to no savings and say they can afford a house? Like their income says yes, but their financial state says no. If they swipe cc's now, how are they gonna afford live with 4000 less each month?

    • @jaydubya9265
      @jaydubya9265 10 місяців тому +3

      We are in ball park of their income with less kids and I couldnt fathom signing up for a 630k mortgage even at the 2-3% of yesteryear. We decided on a modest home at half of what they said we can spend.Prob less than half. 630k would def be a H E double hockey stick no with the rates today! 😂

    • @maxime_vhw
      @maxime_vhw 10 місяців тому

      @@jaydubya9265 i already feel bad when i see the interests charged for like sub 200k loans and that's just those simulations. I'm so cheap i cant imagine myself just giving tens of thousands to the bank

  • @tomaszp2027
    @tomaszp2027 10 місяців тому +7

    Something doesn't add up in the CSP of today's episode. But we also never get to see it in full.
    With 15k of take home pay we only see how 78% of that is allocated (27% in guilt free spending, $175 in savings and $3757 visible in fixed-costs). There's a mention of $3828 for mortgage.
    But where does the remaining $3389 go?

  • @diegolara4202
    @diegolara4202 7 місяців тому +4

    BS on the mortgage amount. She mentioned the 4k but didnt include the taxes and home owners insurance.

  • @SleevedStephieSlays
    @SleevedStephieSlays 10 місяців тому +5

    I’m glad he finally addressed the whole “putting my foot down” thing. The husband started puffing up his chest as soon as the host asked “so who runs this house”

    • @joannat1898
      @joannat1898 9 місяців тому +2

      Yeah, that was obnoxious. No one runs the house-you’re partners.

  • @fantafantanocoke
    @fantafantanocoke 10 місяців тому +1

    I appreciate this episode and how ramit adapts what he says to each couple based on their situation.

  • @Jai_BestLife
    @Jai_BestLife 10 місяців тому +15

    I'm not too sure about the future of their finances because they still seem disconnected from reality, especially with helping/enabling family financially. Hopefully they'll turn this around before it's too late.

  • @SuzanneU
    @SuzanneU 10 місяців тому +24

    They're delusional if they think they wouldn't immediately start renovating and upgrading the house - and the kids will whine and pout for luxury!

  • @paulaooook
    @paulaooook 10 місяців тому +36

    If all I heard about a couple was that they had a zale’s credit card, I could probably predict the state of their finances. That sucks

    • @SqueakyPeeps
      @SqueakyPeeps 10 місяців тому +2

      $3000 at a retail jewelry store is NUTS!!

  • @pamelalima5401
    @pamelalima5401 10 місяців тому +18

    Goodness 😂 I live in Florida and my kids never went to Disney… it’s not in our budget and that’s totally fine

    • @patimtz814
      @patimtz814 2 дні тому

      😂I live in Florida 45 years and this year was my first time gone to Disney cause my oldest son took me.

  • @dkayok
    @dkayok 9 місяців тому +3

    I appreciate how my parents handled all the Disney stuff. We lived in CA when I was young. There were only 2 kids so that was easier. For our birthday, we got to choose a park (Disney, Knotts, etc) and bring a friend. The other kid got to bring a friend too. Those were the only park trips we took during the year. Years later my mom wanted to take my brother and I and the grandkids (3) across the country to Epcot to "experience" other countries. Now we were in AZ and OK. I protested that as a huge waste of money to take elementary kids to Epcot - I joked that it would be better to save up and go to the real countries. We ended up going someplace closer to all of us for a long weekend and had a great time (and saved parents thousands of dollars). When the kids were in high school, my parents took us all to UK for 10 days (last full family vacation). So much better than Epcot! Plus the kids could experience it all as young adults. it was an amazing experience for everyone

  • @Flowerpower124-u2b
    @Flowerpower124-u2b 10 місяців тому +5

    I was raised the same as her! Latina immigrant and very very poor and dreaming of going to Disneyland. But no I don’t struggle saying no to the kids or over spending. So let’s not blame all our issues on the way we were raised, that’s just a cop-out! Ultimately to be able to do all the things you have to make more money and to make more money you have to add to your skill level and add more value. He definitely needs to find a new career path, he is too young to retire, his family needs a greater income. Then they can go to Disneyland and Hawaii and do all the things.

  • @amendezmuniz
    @amendezmuniz 10 місяців тому +6

    He budget 5,000 to upgrade her ring but no. Let’s go for 9,000 cause it’s 0 interest. 🤣🤣 it just blows my mind.

    • @4thand133
      @4thand133 10 місяців тому

      On a Zale's card. I wonder what the interest rate is if something happens and they can't pay it off in time. Probably astronomical. I think the bigger issue is buying an upgraded ring in the first place. They have basically no savings and lots of debt. Is $8.5k on a newer flashier ring really the wisest course of action? I suspect they frequently fall into the "I deserve it" trap - which in their defense, they are not alone in that. Lots of people do it. The US advertising industry is very good at convincing us we deserve things, regardless of whether we actually have the money for it. Stuff that used to be considered luxuries for the wealthy only are now commonplace (fancy mattresses, extravagant vacations, high-end fashion brands, etc.). Of course, much of that is bought on credit.

  • @nicholemalloy4694
    @nicholemalloy4694 10 місяців тому +1

    The frivolous butterfly 😆 Good episode. I’m glad my husband and I decided to do automatic transfers for future travel. We had to take two emergency trips to maine for family this year and we were able to cover all travel without hurting.

  • @jalv509
    @jalv509 10 місяців тому +10

    I just think too many people don't realize that most of us will have to make choices because with limited resources saying "yes" to some things will inevitably mean saying "no" to others. These parents CAN say yes to their children's wants, but that has turned in to saying no to their own savings and retirement. They need to decide for themselves and hopefully also teach their kids -if they're going on expensive vacations -that might mean a smaller house, that might mean no to fundraisers or activities they may want to do with friends.

    • @ramitsethi
      @ramitsethi  10 місяців тому +2

      This is where I have a lot of hope for people. They CAN make changes if the stakes are high and they understand what the numbers mean. Thanks for watching.

  • @gracesimplified3860
    @gracesimplified3860 10 місяців тому +7

    I noticed he referred to the to the boys as “her boys” as if he hasn’t really embraced them as his kids too. It made me sad that there may be a this division between mine and yours.

  • @amandaroa9223
    @amandaroa9223 10 місяців тому +2

    such a good episode to have the conversation of needs/wants.

  • @heatherowl
    @heatherowl 8 місяців тому +3

    The kindest thing you can do for a privileged child is tell them “no.”
    It’s ok if they are mad, sad, whining, crying, yelling, slamming doors, saying terrible things. They need to learn that they can survive obstacles and form new goals. If you always give them wants, they never get what they need, which is resilience and independence.

  • @mamalovesthebeach437
    @mamalovesthebeach437 10 місяців тому +7

    Wow… when are people going to realize that “things” do not make you or your kids happy?! What kids care about the most is that mom and dad are happy and they feel loved and secure. If you are afraid of telling them, no, you are setting them up poorly for life . Spending $8000 on a ring might make you happy for a couple of days maybe even a week. Spending over $600,000 on a house you can’t afford is not only NOT going to make you happy, it will make you miserable. This young couple has time on their side. Counseling at this point would be their best investment. Financial counseling and marriage counseling. A good counselor will also help them be stronger parents. I wish them all the best.❤

  • @joefunk76
    @joefunk76 10 місяців тому +27

    Disney vacations have become the epitome of poor value. High prices, huge crowds, long lines, mediocre lodging, and mediocre food. It is incredible to me that they have customers at all anymore. People who can barely afford these trips are spending their last pennies to pad Bob Iger’s pockets. He made $31.6m last year as Disney’s CEO and his net worth is the better part of a billion dollars. 😢

    • @mikaelaziegler9782
      @mikaelaziegler9782 10 місяців тому +3

      While many workers are college kids getting paid minimum wage for acting, dancing etc and no benefits!

    • @gracesimplified3860
      @gracesimplified3860 10 місяців тому +3

      The epitome of American culture/ corporate culture. Sad!

    • @stacysings1972
      @stacysings1972 10 місяців тому +2

      Went to Disneyworld last year and was very disenchanted! What a rip off!

    • @josephbrown9685
      @josephbrown9685 10 місяців тому

      It used to be significantly better and somewhat more affordable. Now it’s a complete ripoff but has a cultlike following. I used to like Disney but not anymore.

  • @adam7349
    @adam7349 10 місяців тому +7

    Ramit is so much better than the other "Money Experts". I love how he incorporates psychology into money. Finance sounds like common sense but it is 90% phycological. Both of them a have their own issues to work on and I hope they do and can better position themselves. It is crazy that they have no retirement plan at all. The military offers a pretty good one and was also surprised by the husbands difference in pay from gross to net. Where is all the deductions coming from? I served and never had that much taken out. I wonder if he does put into retirement but does not want to tell his wife??

  • @cur244
    @cur244 9 місяців тому +2

    So many parents struggle with telling their kids no. It's a serious problem that will only make their kids lives more difficult when they're adults.

  • @jdp486
    @jdp486 10 місяців тому +7

    The codependency will take time to correct. But imagine how differently their kids will see the world when they realize getting sad, arguing back, or simply being manipulative doesn't mean they get their way. They'll be a better friend, sibling, partner down the line.

  • @sharonshallwani7210
    @sharonshallwani7210 10 місяців тому +15

    I'd love to see this couple in front of Dave Ramsey.

    • @teeeteee000
      @teeeteee000 10 місяців тому +12

      Yes, Dave would encourage them to sell everything, including the kids, and work at Disneyland 24/7. 😂

    • @mmp495
      @mmp495 10 місяців тому

      He’d chew them up and spit em out. 😅

    • @maryanngrow2970
      @maryanngrow2970 10 місяців тому

      🤣

    • @davidk6482
      @davidk6482 10 місяців тому

      Sell the cars, the house, the ring , go live in an apartment 😂

  • @alexisballard1459
    @alexisballard1459 10 місяців тому +31

    Using your kids to justify your poor spending habits is soooooooo TIRED IM SICK OF HEARING IT LOL

  • @oliviayvette
    @oliviayvette 9 місяців тому

    This episode really hit me. I can so relate to this mom. I have been taking my kids to Disneyland every year for as long as I can think on credit cards.

  • @jwarnstarsmile
    @jwarnstarsmile 6 місяців тому +1

    21:43 Hearing this and then Ramit's response about Hawaii and zombies - I about spat out the beverage I wasn't drinking. 🤣

  • @aliciarichardson5423
    @aliciarichardson5423 7 місяців тому +2

    They may have been able to drive to Disney World and staid at Shades of Green in the Wounded Warrior Suite which could have accommodated everyone and had a better use of their vacation money, since he’s military.

  • @radio7970
    @radio7970 10 місяців тому +3

    So many people say “I’m building up my business”. Most people are not building up anything 😢

  • @YurySiamashka
    @YurySiamashka 10 місяців тому +5

    These prices are outrageous I am not from USA and maybe it is nothing for a regular American person. But for me 7k on some amusement park trip is sure too much. Even just entry tickets for 1500 is rip off. What is so special for this park to cost this much?
    In my local area I take children to a local amusement park, pay few dollars on snacks, and each activity in the park cost about 2 dollars per child. At the end of the day I spent $70-100 max and we are overloaded with activities and fun.

    • @excitedaboutlearning1639
      @excitedaboutlearning1639 10 місяців тому

      Yeah, it's crazy. Here, it's €52 for a day pass. So, it'd be €350 for a day, but for the second day it'd be like €15 per person. So, let's say €650 for three days. But most people only spend a day there. Paying for the hotel and everything else, I can see how the price can skyrocket.

    • @laraerae4321
      @laraerae4321 10 місяців тому +1

      I am American and I will NEVERRRRR take my kids to Disneyland 😅 It's not a regular thing for most of us. We go to Europe every year or every other year and even that is like half the price of their Disney trip 💀

    • @excitedaboutlearning1639
      @excitedaboutlearning1639 10 місяців тому +1

      @@laraerae4321 Oh wow! That puts things into context. I could never pay twice the cost of a trip to America on a fun park visit.
      It's definitely Disney's marketing that makes people believe that they have to go to Disneyland.

    • @laraerae4321
      @laraerae4321 10 місяців тому

      @@excitedaboutlearning1639 agreed! i just can't imagine spending that much on one experience like that. I also live really far away from Disneyland and Disneyworld so maybe it's more common for people that live closer to go.

  • @michaellawrence3345
    @michaellawrence3345 10 місяців тому +4

    Love your podcast remit👍🏾

  • @zacharyfair6738
    @zacharyfair6738 10 місяців тому +10

    Very interesting mindset. 200K+ a year, retirement will be $2,700 "but I hope to get 100% disability for $4,000....." - after working 20yrs???. Never had savings, but $7,000 "feels great". 0% car loan, wedding ring, new house = free money. etc. etc. 0% interest is one thing - paying 50-100% over budget defeats the purpose of the 0%..... let's keep listening....

    • @chukuemekaoje1015
      @chukuemekaoje1015 10 місяців тому +2

      The thing with the 0% apr car loan is that by choosing this path, he likely gave up the dealer discount... which, might have lowered the cost of his car had he taken the loan and just made extra payments.

    • @Dan16673
      @Dan16673 10 місяців тому

      ​@@chukuemekaoje1015they know he'll swap in 5 yrs

    • @mikaelaziegler9782
      @mikaelaziegler9782 10 місяців тому +1

      You should never bank on getting 100% disability. That shit is hard to get approved and can take years. The VA and medical exams etc do not make it easy. He should know better

  • @candecarro
    @candecarro 5 місяців тому

    Ramit, in one of your ads today you talk about moyr mom’s cooking classes, “Cooking with Auntie (or Aunty)”. I spent 7 years in Uganda & Kenya in the 60s and 70s and our favorite food was Indian and I tried my best to learn everything I could. But who knew I’d never again be able to find the incredible samosas served in Nairobi and Mbale. I believe they are Keema Samosas. Triangular, fried, somewhat flat, and taste unlike any I’ve ever found in the ststes.
    If your mom cooks this type of samosa I would love to take a class from her. Thank you,
    Cande

  • @ebelen1
    @ebelen1 10 місяців тому +5

    One thing I love about the vid is I can jump to the numbers first.
    This couple especially the guy is lost when it comes to finances. It’s sad not just for them but for the kids.

  • @PatriciaLopez-xb3em
    @PatriciaLopez-xb3em 10 місяців тому +6

    Unfortunately, I don't think real change will happen for this couple. She needs to go to therapy. She had lots of guilt. She wants to be loved and like by everyone except her husband.

  • @user-mb8rf7qk5q
    @user-mb8rf7qk5q 9 місяців тому +8

    Disney is POINTLESS. Seriously we can't be in 2024 still thinking a trip to Disneyland is a milestone in life.

    • @tyd8077
      @tyd8077 8 місяців тому +1

      Yup Americans are still like this. Lots of families go into deep debt to go to Disney.

    • @YIWOTY
      @YIWOTY 5 місяців тому

      Agree to disagree. If you have the connection to Disney from when you were a kid, and you’re well off, go for it. But I feel bad for middle class or lower income families, because it’s just not affordable. Same 4 parks in Orlando, but Florida’s population is up 40% in the last 20 years. Americans are traveling more overall. More international travelers as well. Disney charges a fortune just to keep the crowds from being completely ridiculous.

    • @debbielockhart7762
      @debbielockhart7762 5 місяців тому

      That is YOUR opinion. Many of us love it (including me).

    • @debbielockhart7762
      @debbielockhart7762 5 місяців тому

      ​@@YIWOTYAnd the crowds are still completely ridiculous.

    • @YIWOTY
      @YIWOTY 5 місяців тому

      @@debbielockhart7762 Funny, July crowds have been small enough that Disney has opened up multiple days for season passholders that were otherwise blacked out.

  • @Hellokitty7163
    @Hellokitty7163 10 місяців тому +1

    It s very brave of this couple to come on and share. And it also makes it clear as to why Americans are so in debt

  • @nataliaalves6178
    @nataliaalves6178 3 місяці тому

    My view regarding tis couple is, a very sweet and amazing mom and a great dad trying to do their best with the knowledge they have. They mentioned that they did not have any financial education and didn't know about money growing up. Now they are trying to learn as much as they can. This is the reason why they asked Ramit's help. I hate when people try to put other people down. Life is already too hard. They want to change and are trying, so people should not judge without knowing people's background.

  • @1juliasana
    @1juliasana 7 місяців тому +2

    "I have that million dollar mindset" so "lets plan a trip to disney" 😅😅😅

  • @Mushroompanda648
    @Mushroompanda648 3 місяці тому

    We need a follow up on this couple. Im so curious as to what their life looks like after retirement. My husband is military and will retire in 3 years. He's already on the hunt for his next career path. Banking on disability is an interesting avenue to travel down.😬

  • @kirbiejohnson4475
    @kirbiejohnson4475 10 місяців тому +2

    "No" was my dad's favorite word, and it didn't kill me. I didn't need to like my dad when I was a teenager, I just needed to be secure as a child. Kids are running these parents for real. I hope the daughters parent paid for her share to go to Disney (and then to want to take her to Hawaii!! Uh, no). Sad part, when they get out in the real world they will hear "no" a lot. These kids equate love to parents giving them everything. Good luck to you both.

  • @mirandaquinnn
    @mirandaquinnn 5 місяців тому +2

    I hope they really watch this episode and see what others see. What Ramits sees.
    A couple who makes $213K a year and has a total net worth of $12K shows that the more they make, they more they spent.
    They could have way way way more money if they change their mindset.

  • @Th3Think3r
    @Th3Think3r 10 місяців тому +4

    Challenging for me to understand parents who can not say no to their kids, especially for expensive trips, but it is easy for me to say considering how I grew up.
    This couple needs to get their finances together or they'll be relying on their kids to pay for their retirement.

  • @snailflowers
    @snailflowers 10 місяців тому +3

    getting something you can’t afford at 0% interest is still getting something you can’t afford.

  • @Darkbunnyess
    @Darkbunnyess 2 місяці тому +1

    i dont have kids but my Disney trip was nowhere near that much
    you can bring food into the parks

  • @markmastalski
    @markmastalski 10 місяців тому

    My favorite part was when Ramit invoked American Gladiators. 😂 I just never know what's going to come out of his mouth. I love it.

  • @WTF-sh4is
    @WTF-sh4is 9 місяців тому +1

    Rental cars are such a rip off these days! $1500 for a rental van was the biggest expense. The $1500 for all Disneyland tickets was a pretty good deal actually for everyone to go! Try and get there with multiple cars that you own. That would have saved a lot of money.